Private Wounds Into Wisdom [Thurion Heavenshield]

[Caedyn Arenais]

CAEDYN ARENAIS​

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Location: Midvinter.
Tagging: Thurion Heavenshield .

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The Repertoire glided down through the clouds of Midvinter for the second time in weeks, the Jedi Knight at the helm of the corvette having recently visited Boo Heavenshield before now returning to meet with the boy's grandfather, Thurion Heavenshield.

House Arenais and House Heavenshield held a long shared history with each other, Veiere Arenais having first met Théodread Heavenshield on Alzoc III and later serving alongside the younger Jedi many times during the Master's life. Through Théodred, he met Thurion and Coci Heavenshield who were at the head of the Silver Assembly, the Order of the Silver Jedi's Council of the time. They had become great friends and powerful allies as Commenor had grown in equity and popularity, soon becoming the capital world of the Commenor Systems Alliance, Veiere becoming a King of a Nation as well as retaining his membership and role as a Jedi Master.

Growing up, Caedyn and Loreena Arenais were both introduced to the family as younglings, and while Loreena did not follow the Jedi Path, Caedyn eventually did and often found himself in similar social circles with the Heavenshields, getting to know them more on a personal basis as adults, and coming to hold a deep respect for their House. For all that they had accomplished and the values, they continued to represent.

Today, Caedyn was there to make a personal request to Thurion. It was a serious one, and not often seen nor heard about in the upper ranks of the Jedi as far as Caedyn was certain. The fact was that Thurion was arguably the wisest Jedi that Caedyn had come to know, and the Jedi Knight sought to attain further education and knowledge on the Force, and the history of the Jedi in order to better serve the Galaxy moving into the future.

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

City of Heavenheim, Midvinter

Thurion lay on his side while she worked, solely focused on suppressing the pain. What's worse, each session only served to deepen his disappointment in himself. He could close his eyes and see the entire scene replay in his mind: There was Darth Carnifex brought to his knees and at his mercy. He should have ended it there and then, but his stubborn sense of honour had to get in the way. It's at times like these that he wishes he did not hold himself to such lofty standards, for if he hadn't he would have finally put an end to the Dark Lord.

Instead, he'd allowed Evil the chance it needed to endure. Whatever physical pain he'd endured was a drop in the ocean compared to the pain of regret.

The silver lining of this whole ordeal was the shattering of Derriphan, allowing countless slain souls to finally know peace and become One with the Force. Many would argue this to be the greater achievement, but right now Thurion was not one of them.

Thurion reached behind him for her hand, finding the wedding band on her finger while staring off into nothing. "I had him, Coci. I finally had him. With one stroke of my sword, I could have brought the suffering of untold millions, as well as who-knows-how-many future victims, to an end."

A tear rolled down his cheek. "What's more, I failed to avenge my mother. I felt her hand guiding mine, and yet I could not..."

Thurion looked up into her eyes, finding solace in those deep, dark pools filled with such love and mystique. It was enough to bring a soft smile to his lips right before hers fell upon his.

A knock on the door followed by a muffled voice.

"Your Graces, pardon the interruption. There is an offworlder requesting an audience. Caedyn of a House Arenais...?" The pair locked eyes in bewilderment, only for Thurion to then kiss her hand. "Fetch me my shirt, won't you, my love?"

A noticeably dishevelled High King would appear before the Son of Veiere as he descended the stairs of the throne room where Caedyn Arenais had been instructed to wait.

"Caedyn, my lad," he staggered towards his fellow Jedi with open arms. "Allow an old man to embrace his noble brother's son!" Ever the gregarious host, Thurion engulfed Caedyn in that trademark hug of his. "Let me have a look at you..." Cupping Caedyn's cheeks, he was taken aback by how the years had shaped the young man in the likeness of his blessed father.

"Goodness," he exclaimed under his breath, visibly shaken.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Thurion Heavenshield greeted Caedyn in a warm and compassionate welcome that the Jedi Knight felt only the Heavenshields could provide, given their family history and the close bonds between his Father and their great house, Caedyn was humbled to accept. "It's good to see you Master Thurion, after so long" Caedyn embraced the King of Midvinter.

"Please forgive my intrusion if this is not a good time?" He spoke with uncertainty as he looked back to Thurion in his unsteady posture. Caedyn felt inclined to offer his service in the art of Curato Salva, however, Lady Heavenshield was far more powerful a Jedi than Caedyn believed himself to be and knew that Thurion would be receiving the greatest of care.

"I feel I must apologize for not visiting sooner. I was not present on Kashyyyk when you took your leave to return to Midvinter. The days following the Elder Compact were not kind to you Master Thurion and I wish I could have better supported you before the delegates of the Galactic Alliance" he spoke with audible regret, having heard through word of mouth, and only imagine how much of a difficult position Thurion had been placed in, standing before the New Jedi Order at the time when political relations were seemingly at their lowest between the Alliance and the Silver Concord. Caedyn would soon look to Coci with a faint smile, glad that the Jedi Master had the support of such a loving and loyal wife and life partner.

"My father held you in the highest esteem. Your wife and your Son Théodred, also" Caedyn would remind the Jedi Master, though it needed not to be said, the Jedi Knight wished to reiterate just how important the relationship between the two houses was, in his eyes as well as Veiere's. "You are the wisest and most experienced Jedi that I know..." Caedyn's voice trailed for a moment, offering something of an apprehensive look as he considered his following words; "Wisdom, and perhaps guidance that I feel is sorely needed in today's galaxy...", though he wished to specify his own need of their influence and teaching, there was still that moment of pride where it felt embarrassing to admit after so many years of service.

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

"Oh no, no, no," he shook his head, dismissive of his grievous wound. "Not at all. You're always welcome here, Caedyn. I just..." he trailed off, trying not to burden the young man with the story behind said wound. "I was merely careless at a moment that required... greater care," he settled on, flimsy an explanation though it was.

Showing Caedyn to one of the long tables which lined his hall, all centred around the fire pit, Thurion clutched his side as he slowly sunk down onto the seat next to him, careful not to antagonise the wound. "Think nothing of it, my boy," he grunted as he got as comfortable as his delicate state allowed. "Those days are long gone. I am no longer Grandmaster, the Sith Empire and Confederacy have both collapsed, and the Silver Jedi Order has played its part. It is to the Alliance we must put our trust, and the New Jedi Order. I know there's been bad blood between us in the past, but I have been to Coruscant and walked the esteemed grounds of the Jedi Temple, and I spoke with Valery Noble and Kahlil Noble who have both shown themselves to be good people. The future of the Jedi is safe with them."

He smiled, thinking of little Vera. She would have grown quite a bit since that day.

Caedyn spoke next of his father and of their relationship with House Heavenshield, and curiously appeared rather reticent by choosing his words carefully. "Caedyn, Caedyn," his vast hand squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "You are the son of a man I am proud to have called my brother. That makes you my nephew, which makes you a Heavenshield in all but name. There's no need to beat around the bush if you came here with a request. Just tell me what you need and I will grant it."

Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Thurion Heavenshield dismissed the nature of his wound, offering little detail in his polite deflection. Caedyn gave an appreciative smile, thankful that he wasn't disturbing the Jedi Master, however, this did not shake his concern for the long-time friend and...-Someone who was like family to Caedyn.

"I'm afraid you will always be thought of as a Grandmaster of the Jedi, perhaps not in official status but your willingness to aid Jedi no matter their origin, and the way we have often looked to you for support and guidance, that honour still accompanies you in my thoughts Thurion" Caedyn would directly admit, soon followed by a fond smirk for the Jedi Master would not get his way on this particular matter.

"I'm not certain if you're aware but I've been serving within the Coruscant Temple for over a year now. You're right in your assessment of Valery and Kahlil Noble, they are both as skilled as they are kind..." Caedyn's voice trailed once more in pause, trying to think about how he would articulate his recently growing concerns.

"I'll be honest with you, Thurion. I'm struggling with the justification of how the Jedi operate in the Galaxy, and more specifically how I have practised in my duty till recently" The Jedi Knight began to speak, laying his concerns plainly before his friend and mentor. If ever there was a role model to be found in the Galaxy, it was Thurion Heavenshield. "Where do I even begin..." He muttered under his breath, giving a huffed exhale as he took his place at the table and sat back into the support of the chair, his shoulders slumped, body language relaxed yet also giving an impression of weariness.

"For generations, we Jedi have stood in aggressive defiance against the Sith and opposing armies threatening democracy and freedom in this Galaxy. And over the years I have lost count of the number to fall at my very hands" Caedyn stated bluntly, admitting his participation in the killing of others; "We have justified this in how we see the Sith behave, committing war crimes and atrocities against the vulnerable of society; This I understand, yet still feel is wrong..." Another pause, his brows furrowed as he seemed to be fighting with himself internally.

"The Force creates life, and through life, it flourishes. The Jedi serve the Force, and yet we take lives which in turn wounds the very thing we seek to honour and serve. The Jedi of today see the Sith as something that must be eliminated, and beaten, but I'm starting to see that further violence is only going to encourage this endless cycle of war to continue. We think we are defending the Galaxy, and to some degree we are, but we are also influencing the bloodshed of tomorrow but allowing this chain of events, this resentment and discrimination of the Force Users to continue" he expressed, looking across the table to gauge Thurions reaction towards his concerns for the current path the Jedi were walking.

"Master Tiland Kortun referred to my concerns as the paradox of Jedi Duty. I have been seeking out the guidance of others, not merely Jedi, for answers in order to find direction in my purpose. Why do these issues seem to be so loud in my foresight of late? These are thoughts that could threaten to put distance between myself and other Jedi within the Order, and yet I cannot seem to dissuade myself from voicing these concerns. The revelation seems to have come to me with a passion I cannot ignore, as if guided by the Force".

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Thurion remained quiet, stroking his beard while listening intently to what Caedyn had to say. In his eyes and on his face was written the tale of a frustrated young man still very much in his prime, yet lacking in a clear path to tread. It was not a situation unique to Caedyn by any means, for he had witnessed the same frustrations in many a Jedi of more recent generations.

"I understand your predicament," Thurion began, allowing a pause between him and Caedyn. "What you describe is not a new phenomenon, but one I have been fearful of for many generations. In a way, my own generation and those that came before are to blame; it was during our watch that these galactic conflicts became so widespread and oft-occurring. Rather than acting decisively, or perhaps because we acted too decisively in certain matters, we allowed the hatred and ignorance of others to fester, leading to the decades of war we've had to face ever since."

"T'was not always the case," the elder continued. "I recall a time when the galaxy was largely united and at peace. Hundreds of worlds were placed under the protection of the Republic, with only a scant few warbands roaming its borders. In those days, before the Great Schism, the Jedi placed emphasis on knowledge and self-improvement; we taught younglings to look inward and to be the best of us, not instruct them in the art of war and send them off to war only to die far too young. We inspired hope for the future, not hatred for the enemy."

He grimaced, his mouth bitter with the blood of so many fine young men and women - kids, really - having to pay the price of the failure of their wise elders.

"But the Republic, and with it the Jedi Order, grew too massive, becoming unsustainable. Matters, which might have seemed inconsequential to the Republic as a whole but were absolutely crucial to one specific system, slipped through the cracks, never to be resolved, which allowed dissent and corruption to take hold against an uncaring system of government. Revered Jedi Masters held public office, effectively running the whole show. We thought ourselves invincible like we could do nothing wrong, which is the perfect time to be proven how wrong we were. The old ways were shattered, giving rise to the age of chaos in which we find ourselves."

Thurion clutched his side, groaning as he briefly overexerted himself.

"You are right, Caedyn. Violence can never end violence. It may put a stop to a localised threat, but someone is always going to disagree when such actions are taken, leading to more violence down the line. We've seen it over and over again. It is not the Will of the Force that we slaughter our fellow man in an endless cycle of war and death. It is not what our ancestors stood for."

Force-pulling a footstool across the hall, Thurion put up his feet in an attempt to improve his situation.

"I realise I've failed to answer your question," he ran his fingers through his unkempt hair. "Perhaps yours is the voice needed now, more than ever. The world doesn't need more yes-men or sheep blindly following orders. It needs people like you; people unafraid to speak their minds and offer alternative solutions. It's hard, sometimes painful, to go against the grain, always having to interject and raise concerns otherwise swept aside, but it's important. It's important to talk these things out, no matter their apparent insignificance. Failure to do so is what led to the downfall of the Jedi Order."

He took Caedyn by the hand, almost as an offer of support.

"Perhaps you need to be where the decisions are made. Lend them some of that no-nonsense Arenais wisdom," he grinned, thinking of his friend.

Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"Perhaps yours is the voice needed now, more than ever. The world doesn't need more yes-men or sheep blindly following orders. It needs people like you; people unafraid to speak their minds and offer alternative solutions.

"Perhaps you need to be where the decisions are made. Lend them some of that no-nonsense Arenais wisdom,"

Caedyn Arenais almost choked on the very hair he had inhaled when he heard Thurion Heavenshield 's suggestion. While it was true that he had headed up a small Jedi Enclave in the past, the concept of being someone in a place of authority such as the High Jedi Council was not something he had ever envisioned for himself. It had been an honour enough to work alongside the Silver Assembly. Alongside. Not a member within.

"I'm not even certain other Jedi would listen to me, let alone consider myself capable of such a feat" Caedyn replied instantly, the words leaving his mouth sooner than he had the moment to truly consider an appropriate response. It wasn't a habit of Caedyn's to be so confident in his role, not to that extent in any case. "I know Kahlil and Valery Noble well enough to consider us as friends, but what you're suggesting isn't something I feel the New Jedi Order would consider" the Jedi Knight expressed with a bit more of a reserved tone of voice. "Your confidence in me is truly flattering Master, and I do appreciate your kind words...-But being a senior member of the Silver Jedi Order, and being a voice of the New Jedi Order are entirely separate things. Let alone the fact that the Alliance is largely militaristic, and my beliefs would only serve to earn the High Council further pushback from the Senate" Caedyn explained his thinking on the matter some more.

It truly was a flattering compliment. Caedyn had thought his Knighthood was an accomplishment of significant proportion, and that the title of Masterhood might one day be the height of success in his path, yet Thurion of all Jedi Masters, as experienced as he was, suggesting Caedyn to be an authoritarian presence among the New Jedi Order...-That was truly reaching.

"Could you even imagine the Council's response if I were to suggest open diplomacy with the Sith?" Caedyn laughed softly as he imagined the criticism that would be shot back at him; "It would be another Elder Compact scenario, and you of all Jedi know how damaging that ordeal was for the reputation of the Silver Order".

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Thurion watched intently for Caedyn's reaction. The former Grandmaster had known him since he was a boy and watched him grow up into the man he is today. He knew his qualities well; Caedyn was honest, loyal, kind and humble. Just like his old man. To say he wasn't surprised to witness such an animated response to the slightest suggestion of leadership was an understatement. He had foreseen it.

He allowed the Jedi Knight to vent, listing off reason after reason as to why it would be impossible. When he was done, Thurion squeezed his shoulder to settle him down, indicating he had more to say.

"You don't feel ready, I get it. Believe me, I understand your hesitation. I was named Grandmaster at age 27, knowing very little about the job when I started out. Nor was I born to be King - that was my brother. I only accepted because he asked me in his final moments. I didn't aspire to either position, but once thrust upon me I decided I was going to do the best job that I possibly could. That's all any of us can ever do, in any situation, is do our best."

At his bidding, a bowl of fruit slid from the opposite end of the table into his possession, and he proceeded to pick out a blue apple native to Midvinter. He offered Caedyn the same bowl, thinking he might feel peckish after his long journey.

"Look, I'm not suggesting you walk up to the Sword and Shield asking for a desk job. What I am telling you, is that if you want things to change you can't sit passively on the sidelines hoping and wishing. You need to be in the thick of it in order for others to hear your voice. They're not going to listen if they can't hear you."

Another bite from his blue apple as he sat back, eyes narrowed at the young Arenais.

"But you already know this, so I ask you again: Why have you come here?"

Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Thurion Heavenshield made a lot of valid points and those of which Caedyn did know when it came down to the prospect of leadership and change for the Galaxy; But how would he go about such a thing if Caedyn did in fact step forward and voice his views. He was a Jedi Knight and had made a point of remaining one for so many years when other Jedi had moved on to the rank of Masterhood. Caedyn had almost been silently advocating for the importance of Knighthood and everyday service to the Galaxy, seeking to remind his peers that duty wasn't all just about being involved in the political war but rather helping civilian lives, those of which politics affected and yet politicians knew nothing of the reality of the struggles in life while living on a low income surrounded by criminality and corruption.

"Let's say, hypothetically, that I did pursue this into becoming some form of new Jedi Organization or Order. This wouldn't be something to rush into and I'm not sure I'm qualified, to be honest with you. I'm no Jedi Master like my Father, hell I barely feel as though I fit in as a Jedi Knight. Some days I feel I'm drifting closer to my Je'daii living than the Jedi Order itself..." He paused, soon realizing that it was probably due to these views that made it feel such a way. Were the Jedi to return to the peacekeeping and humble way that they had once been, then Caedyn wouldn't commonly feel as though he was straying so far from what his peers and the Jedi Council would condone.

"I wished to speak with you because I believe my training is not yet at a point where others would look to me as a Jedi worth listening to. One worthy of the responsibility of leadership. I wish to learn more about the Force, advanced techniques and theories that will set me back onto the path of Qigong Kesh, or as the Jedi often refer to it, the path of a Jedi Consular. I have been fighting for so many years, but it's time I placed my faith solely within the Force" Caedyn concluded. Before they had begun their discussion, the Jedi Knight had wondered about the likelihood that Thurion might take him under the Master's wing and teach him the ways of the Force that Caedyn had yet to learn. Skills such as communing with the spirits of Jedi long passed, as Thurion had done when he reconnected Caedyn with the spirit of his father, Veiere Arenais.

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

​

Thurion pondered for a bit, stroking his golden beard speckled with grey strands. For one who did not look his age, he sure felt the years etched upon his soul. With his pondering came a conclusion, one he did not reach lightly given his official status as a Jedi retiree. With great strain did he push himself off the table and back on his feet, groaning with pain as his battle wounds made themselves known once again.

"I see you came not only for counsel. I applaud your pursuit of knowledge and willingness to further your education; most Knights would think their training sufficient once having achieved knighthood, resting on their laurels long enough to fall, be it in battle, or into obscurity. You show your father's wisdom more than you know, Caedyn Arenais."

The King sighed wistfully, then met the young man's gaze with renewed fire. His back straightened to full height, seemingly no longer burdened by injury.

"Very well," he now spoke as if addressing his entire hall. "Let it be known in the eyes of the Force itself that Caedyn of House Arenais is no longer to wander adrift, but that he does so under the watchful gaze of Thurion of House Heavenshield. Let it be known that this man is from now on under my protection, and I will be to him as a father, teaching him all I know."

His hand on Caedyn's shoulder, he leaned in to gently touch his forehead against his, embracing him in the most intimate demonstration of kinship amongst his people.

"I am with you til the end, Son of Veiere. You're not alone anymore."

Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"Let it be known in the eyes of the Force itself that Caedyn of House Arenais is no longer to wander adrift, but that he does so under the watchful gaze of Thurion of House Heavenshield. Let it be known that this man is from now on under my protection, and I will be to him as a father, teaching him all I know."

Caedyn Arenais met Thurion Heavenshield in the embrace of his people, his forehead touching upon that of the Jedi Masters as Thurion gave his word in the sense of an oath if Caedyn had ever heard one, to stand alongside the Jedi Knight and teach him as he would a Son. "You honour me, Thurion. More than you know" He offered his thanks as the two would soon part.

It was a strange feeling, a moment that Caedyn hadn't anticipated would feel so significant. In the words that Thurion had graced him with, it felt as though Caedyn hadn't just been granted the mentorship of a Jedi Grandmaster, but rather he had been given another family and sense of identity or belonging. It was more than he could have asked for, and certainly not what he had expected. Thurion was truly being generous, and proving by his actions the care and respect that he had voiced for House Arenais, for Veiere and for Caedyn himself.

"I will do everything in my power to see your generosity is not met with disappointment. Should you ever find need of an ally, I will stand with you. Be it in battle, the judgement of our peers or a needed voice for measure. You need only give the word, Master. This is my word, that extends not only to you but your House and Family" Caedyn promised, speaking with conviction in the solemn vow.

Truthfully, this was always the way between House Heavenshield and House Arenais, yet Caedyn did not have much more to offer Thurion in exchange for his blessing and goodwill. For the Jedi Master to hear these words straight from Caedyn, the sole remaining heir to House Arenais and all of its assets and ability, the Jedi Knight hoped that it would be enough for the time being.