Private Who'd Even Know If I Were Gone?

[Elias Edo]

Who'd Even Know If I Were Gone?

A sharp ding on his comlink reminded Elias that he was late for his usual meeting with the counselors at Theed Medical Center, but he had no intention of following through on that commitment. It wasn’t that he thought his therapy was useless—on the contrary, he was quite grateful for the time they’d invested in his wellness—it was that he felt true healing would require new methods. Methods that were of his own choosing. Methods that were far away from Theed, or even Naboo.

Methods that would be found at home, across the galaxy, among the limestone mesas and freshwater ravines of Bogano.

As Elias pulled his boots on and fastened them with leather straps, he pictured the faces of those he left behind when he lent his aide to the now-defunct Order of Shiraya: Erewhon, his closest friend and trusted first mate whom Elias had left in charge of the temple; Fenn, who’d become like a son to Elias since fleeing the Dagobah temple during the Sith invasion of League space; and Cailen, a special friend and ward of the New Jed Order whose path is still muddied… much like Elias’ now.

The Jedi—he used that term loosely—paused for a moment, sitting on the edge of his bed. He glanced sideways through a window, which afforded him a small view of the boulevard outside his apartment and the waterway just beyond. He’d walked that street a hundred times since being discharged, when sleep evaded him and a mild Naboo evening was the only cure for insomnia. He’d miss it, but not nearly as much as he missed the temple.

With that thought, he confirmed in his mind what his heart had been feeling all along and rose to his feet. He reached for a small backpack full of the essentials and a few keepsakes, then headed out into the late afternoon air.

Tags: Efret Farr​

 

[Efret Farr]

In my happy home, I barely breathe...

Vibrations rippled through her mouth and down her throat.

The tusk-cat, Raanursh, beneath her responded to her clicking her tongue and tugging on the left rein by first stepping his front legs to that side, then pivoting his back to turn more fully.

Off to his side, a shaak herder bowed his head. "Thank you, Efret."

She hadn't gone by Master Farr since resigning from the NJO Council. A few still paid her the formality, but she silently wished they wouldn't. Though she'd always consider herself Jedi, she didn't need others to do the same.

"Of course," she replied once after letting the rein down against Raanursh's nape to sign.

The herder looked like he was about to respond one way when his gaze shifted to the right slightly. He raised a hand to his forehead and used it to shield his eyes against the sunlight. "Is that another convor?" he asked.

She nor Nirrah turned their heads at first; Efret knew the answer, or part of it. It was Haerami, coming with news from Ala in Theed. "It is."

As they did turn to watch him approach, he alighted on the saddle horn. A golden tube hanging from a leather cord grasped in Haerami's beak dangled in front of him. Efret took it gently, opened it, and unfurled the contained letter—not from the local Jedi order's grandmaster, but one of the nurses on Elias' care team.

Ms. Farr,​

​

Master Edo missed a wellness check-in today. Any attempt to reach him at his comm frequency has gone unanswered.​

​

Dr. Parqelké is beyond concerned. I and the rest of the care team feel the same. This behavior is very uncharacteristic. He's been very eager to recover and gracious to work with, and very communicative when he's had to miss a session. We worry that he's had a change of heart.​

​

You would have the best chance of anyone to find him and, if needed, convince him to come see us.​

​

It is our collective medical opinion that Master Edo's mind is relatively stable now compared to where it has been, specifically related to you. Thus, it should be perfectly safe for him to see you should that be necessary.​

​

However, it may well be significantly uncomfortable for you. We wouldn't be asking this if we didn't think you were the best option we, including Master Edo, had.​

​

With great respect,​

Aiyorre Geprault​

The frown that had been growing on Efret's face as she read hadn't gone unnoticed. Misinterpreting it as a sign of frustration rather than concern, the herder began to wring his cap in his hands. Only when she glanced up from the paper along with Nirrah did he ask, "Bad news?"

Efret nodded and replied, "Yes, unfortunately." In more ways than one. She paused as she rolled the paper up tightly and returned it into its tube. That she tucked into a pouch on Raanursh's saddle, leaning carefully over his flank. "I need to go."

"Can I do anything to help?"

Efret only caught the word 'help' as she straightened in the saddle, but she still made sense of the question that had been asked. She allowed a smile as she nodded. "Watch Sumes more closely," she said, her gaze shifting from him to the shaak they were discussing grazing not too far behind him. "She's acting out because she feels neglected."

Her focus shifted to the avian perched on the saddle horn. "Thank you, Haerami. Go home."

He took off with an understanding coo, destined for the owlcote on Darjeeli Hill.

As she wrapped both of her hands back up in Raanursh's reins, she looked off in another direction. Theed lay somewhere beyond that horizon.

She tried not to recall how many times she had denied herself the trip she was about to embark on, and failed. She still remembered them all.

With a sniff to cast off the thought and a swallow to wet her clenching throat in preparation to exclaim, she cracked the reins, not harshly but with intention.

"'Aah!"

Elias Edo​

 

[Elias Edo]

Who'd Even Know If I Were Gone?

Elias tucked into himself as he moved by the first few pedestrians on the walkway. He sank his hands into his pockets, rolled his shoulders forward to soften his profile, and kept his eyes fixed on the toes of his boots. He didn’t recognize anyone that he’d seen, but there was an uncomfortable voice inside that kept parroting the same paranoia: “If they see you, they will take you back.”

Deep down, he knew it was an unlikely scenario that the hospital would send people to subdue him… but it took an embarrassing number of city blocks without so much as a passing glance from Theed’s citizens to sink in. Slowly, Elias unfurled from his defensive stature and began to walk more freely. The same way he did during his late-night getaways. The only difference was the distance he needed to travel—unlike his strolls around the block, this was a jaunt to the starport where his shit, the Calypso, was hopefully awaiting him.

Like many of his personal effects, Elias’ ship was being held by the Republic on orders of his care team. Or so he’d been promised. What he anticipated would be a recovery time spanning a few days had quickly slipped into weeks and now months. Whether old guarantees stood the test of time would soon be revealed.

He stuck to the walkway for a while until he came to a bend that would take him directly to the starport. Foot traffic had picked up here, even given the setting sun, but Elias had doffed his need for hiding. He walked among them, through and between them, as if he were diving into calm waters. It felt like he was finally on the verge of freeing himself, a sensation he attributed to knowing he would soon be gone from this world and en route to a calmer, happier place.

But doubt once again grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and yanked him from his path. More accurately, it hit him square in the chest… and in a most unexpected fashion. It was a woman.

Around the bend, she was walking toward him with the rest of the people coming from the direction of the starships. But unlike the smeared faces of people he’d never seen before, hers seemed oddly—devastatingly—familiar. So familiar that he stopped moving and caused a young man to walk into his from behind.

“Watch it!” he scolded.

“Sorry! I’m sorry!” he called after the man.

Elias wanted to stay there, become a small island in a sea of people, but a tiny voice reminded him that here was not the place to stop swimming. So he shifted his feet instead, taking short strides to lengthen his journey. He kept his eyes fixed on the woman, hoping she might notice him too, but praying that she doesn’t.

Tags: Efret Farr​

 

[Efret Farr]

I beg my god to speak and tear me apart...

By the time Efret reached Theed, she had coiled the Force around herself. It would work to suppress any subtle, meaningful movement that her body might otherwise make from now until she bade it not to. She didn't know the limits of the Archon's effect on Elias' mind. He had essentially forgotten who she was—or so she had been told and chose to believe—but had he also forgotten other things that he once knew, like Lorrdian Kinetic?

She was surely about to receive confirmation of the former, but didn't want to even test the latter.

Though she most often used Galactic Basic Sign, aided by the interpretation unit embedded in her necklace, she couldn't help but communicate simultaneously in Kinetic. That had been her first language, its heritage sewn into her very muscles.

Normally, doing so was harmless. She wasn't a career politician or diplomat, not that many non-Lorrdians were insightful enough to fully understand their language.

Today, though, she couldn't risk it. Elias was one of the relatively few off-worlders to learn Kinetic; perceptive, clever, intuitive as he was, or had been.

Had the Netherworld taken those qualities from him too?

After securing Raanursh to a hitching post near the outskirts of the city and dismounting, she sent Nirrah into the sky. She was more likely to spot Elias from above, but she was also more likely to be recognized by him. They had gotten separated in the Netherworld, so it was possible that he had forgotten her too.

If he hadn't, he wouldn't be able to recognize her from below. Hopefully not, anyway.

Efret's sight decoupled from Nirrah's as she flew away. The Jedi began to follow along the cobblestone pathway on her own. Careful steps lead her further into the city, her eyes moving from looking down at her feet to up at her destination ahead. As the foot traffic coalesced, she quickened her pace slightly, feeling protected in a crowd. They flowed collectively around a bend, then she felt it: the weight of a lingering gaze.

Her own looked up, swept left then right, trying to catch the person looking at her in her limited field of vision. Most everything was too far away to be clear to her, but one fuzzy figure somehow seemed more familiar than the others.

Elias.

It was a series of feelings, not a thought.

Her stomach dropped, suspended between the urge to run to and run from him. She felt cold though it was a warm day. The weight of his gaze threatened to buckle her knees as they had not too far from here when she stumbled through the rift. She could still feel how her skin had torn and bruised that day.

<Fuck,> she thought. She wasn't ready for this.

She'd never be ready for this.

She just had to do this.

Her heart seized as she raised her hands to sign.

"Excuse me."

The slightly tinny voice of her interpretation unit cut into the air. This wasn't Lake Country; this was Theed with all of the background and foreground noise of civilization. She had forgotten to adjust the unit's volume during her ride. Hopefully, it wasn't too quiet for him to hear.

But by the next moment that didn't matter.

She tripped over something small that had obstructed her path since the last time she had looked down. A loose stone, some apples tumbled off a cart destined for market? The ground came into focus in an instant as she fell forward towards it.

Elias Edo​

 

[Elias Edo]

Who'd Even Know If I Were Gone?

Hope won out over prayer, it seemed. She saw him too, and even flagged his attention. But before either could move closer to the other, she tripped. Elias was simply too far to prevent the accident, but he moved with incredible speed that put him by her side before anyone around her could notice what had happened.

“Are you alright?” he asked, in that same old voice that was smooth and warm. Many things had changed, no doubt, but Elias’ tenderness had not.

He offered her both hands, gingerly helping her to her feet. Luckily, the fall wasn’t serious, but Elias still looked for signs of injury as the woman steadied herself. A few onlookers had given the pair some space, either standing back as they watched or veering to one side or the other to pass them by; the rest of Theed kept walking on, unaware and rather apathetic.

“I’ve got some bandages aboard my ship. Healings salves, too. If you’d like, I could patch up any scrapes.”

He figured she’d decline—after all, he was a stranger she’d somehow recognized on the street. It could very well have been someone behind him she was calling out to. But it was in his nature to offer, nonetheless. Friendliness and compassion were free and cost nothing to offer.

“I’m Elias,” he said after a moment. His hand followed, extending for a polite shake.

“Elias Edo.”

Not the Jedi Master. Not the Quartermaster. Not the Force Master, or the teacher, or the healer, or any other title that had been levied—wanted or otherwise—against his name.

Simply Elias Edo, the man with a starship full of bandages, healing salves, and hopefully a navigation computer with Bogano’s coordinates committed to memory.

Tags: Efret Farr​

 

[Efret Farr]

Being pitied never really bothered Efret. She had had to get used to it rather quickly, especially when she started going on archeological expeditions as a knight, since pity was a common reaction from strangers for the disabled. Others were hatred or even hostility. Which one she met reflected a culture’s norms and beliefs, not her objective worth to the galaxy, so she had learned relatively early to not take it personally.

But even the possibility that Elias now felt pity for her broke her heart.

The shards cascaded back into her rib cage as he helped her to her feet.

And then she was looking up into his face, clear before her now. She immediately noticed half a dozen physical signs of his time in the Netherworld, the most striking being his acquired heterochromia; one of the suns that were his irises now burning lilac potassium instead of golden sodium.

“I’m alright,” she said after stepping back from him a bit to establish the space needed to sign. “Thank you.”

Her hands gathered up the loose end of her saree and tossed it over her shoulder as she watched him reintroduce himself.

Then he offered her one of his hands again.

<Bad idea.>

She did it anyway, giving him a somewhat weak handshake, not for hesitation but lack of practice. Normally, she preferred a wave and nod to this sort of greeting. When her palm returned shortly to her side, it still felt his skin.

“Elias,” she repeated, making sure to fingerspell his name as always but especially now. “Nice name.”

For a quick moment, she considered giving him a fake name, but then shame struck down the idea. No, no, she wouldn’t lie to him. There wasn’t any reason to, right? She smiled. Despite all that had happened, her warmth, a warmth that complimented his, hadn’t left her either.

“I’m Efret. Efret Farr.” She laughed, short and breathless. “I’ll follow you. More carefully. Don’t worry.”

Elias Edo​

 

[Elias Edo]

Who'd Even Know If I Were Gone?

“Efret,” he said back, letting the name drip like fresh honey over warm pastries.

It was foreign for the moment, but he spoke it with the same enunciation he always had. He even tried to reciprocate signing it to her, but his fingers were stiff and uncertain. Had he forgotten how to speak with his hands, or had the callouses and weakened bones forsaken fine motor movement? Perhaps a bit of both… he was blanking on how to sign the letter T, but he also struggled physically to sign his on signature on medical documents.

Sheepishly, Elias left the ending letter off.

“I’m sorry,” he half-signed, half-spoke, “I’m uh- a little rusty it seems. I think I need more practice.” He let a nervous chuckle fill the void, hoping she hadn’t found him rude or dismissive.

Language and communication had ironically been quite low on his list of priorities during this season of his life, when therapies of a dozen sort occupied much of his time. Elias considered explaining it to Efret, but there was no sense in monologuing about his personal tribulations to a woman he’d just met on the street. But perhaps they could both stand to know each other a little better.

“So, Efret- what brings you to Theed?”

The direction she came from led Elias to assume she’d recently arrived and was walking into the city from the spaceport. He could be wrong, though, so he amended his question with another one.

“Are you from here, or just visiting Naboo?” That seemed better. He turned to face her, smiling as she walked with him.

Efret seemed a very pleasant person, at least from Elias’ first impressions of her. The way the setting sun cast rays upon her skin made her only seem warmer. He smiled a bit wider, eager to hear Efret’s answers.

Tags: Efret Farr​

 

[Efret Farr]

Watching him struggle was almost unbearable, but she did anyway with a forced smile on her face. Worry shone through its cracks. After he had finished his apology, she replied sincerely, the corners around her eyes crinkling with kindness, “You’re very kind, but that’s not necessary. I lipread.”

Then he asked what brought her to Theed.

<You.>

Her fingers ached to say it—it’d be so easy, she just needed to point—but she shook her head. She wouldn’t lie to him, but she wouldn’t tell him the whole truth when it seemed like it might harm or confuse him.

Now was one of those moments.

“Neither.” She wiggled the fingers of one hand in the air as she thought over her next words. “I live here now. Well, in Lake Country. I retired early.”

As they continued walking toward the spaceport, she cast a glance over her shoulder high into the clear sky. She couldn't see much more that the general colors cast out by the setting sun, but she still scanned for Nirrah. Where was she?

Elias Edo​

 

[Elias Edo]

Who'd Even Know If I Were Gone?

Elias was thankful that no harm was done by his ignorance, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. He hadn't really said much, so perhaps it was in his delivery? As they walked on, he found himself a little more conscious of how he moved and spoke. Maybe there were clues to find if he paid more attention to himself than to her.

"Lake Country is lovely," Elias said after a moment of thought. "I have a place in the area, but I haven't been in quite some time. A few months at least, though it could very well be longer. I'm afraid I'm not the best timekeeper these days." A really nice place, from what he could remember. Elias had picked it to be a permanent home in the Mid Rim, one from which he could see to matters in the galactic west in comfort. It was large enough for himself and Fenn, with plenty of room to spare. He had to give up living there after the Netherworld incident, however. Lake Country was simply too far from the hospital in Theed should something happen and the care team need to reach him quickly.

He turned to face Efret and noticed her glancing upwards.

"The sunset's beautiful," Elias commented, unaware that the woman was searching for her companion. "It's got nothing on Genetia, though. Have you ever been? It's a lovely water world in the Mid Rim. My homeworld, in fact. I may be biased, but the way Genetia's sun dies into the sea each night- you'd never grow tired of watching it."

Tags: Efret Farr​

 

[Efret Farr]

When he made his admission about not being the best timekeeper, Efret’s gentle smile grew the mundane kind of empathetic. “Same,” she replied. Though she knew the exact amount of time had passed since the Second Cataclysm, her experience of it had been quite distorted; and, aside from the anchor, she was rather discombobulated temporally.

She noticed Elias turn shortly after she did, so she focused back on him. “Oh. Beautiful. Yes.” Watching his face was distracting in a way she had never experienced when lipreading before.

When he spoke about Genetia, she clung to the opportunity to refocus herself.

“I haven’t been…” As she trailed off, an endearingly sheepish look crossed her face. “I can’t swim. I imagine the cities aren’t underwater, but I’d still be nervous. Not about drowning per se, but, uh, my culture believes bodies of water are gateways to the underworld.” She rolled her eyes quickly at herself, given with a sideways nod. “I know. It’s silly that I remain scared when I know it to be untrue, but the taboos we grow up with tend to put us in a box. Maybe one day I’ll learn.” Her smile turned easy once more. “Some things we’re meant to outgrow.”

For just a moment, a pang in her heart dared to long for a certain reply.

Then she added, wanting to be considerate of his affinity for the sea, “I’m sure the sunsets are beautiful. And I’m sure that the water treats you well.”

Efret turned on her heel. “Ah. There she is.”

Nirrah soared on a downward trajectory towards the female Jedi Master before taking her usual place upon her shoulder.

As Efret faced Elias, her natural vision gave way to Nirrah’s. “This is Nirrah. We’re connected through the Force.” Initially, Efret had wanted to leave her Force sensitivity out of any initial conversations with Elias, but that was before she realized that she couldn’t well explain who Nirrah was to her without mentioning it. “She helps me see. I can’t do a very good job of that myself.”

Nirrah blinked at Elias. The same purple in one of his eyes was torn and sprinkled into both of hers.

Efret had bowed her head, fishing with two of her fingers in a pouch tied at her waist. In the next moment, she produced a dried mealworm and gave it to Nirrah. The convor picked it out from between her fingertips gently before Efret gave her a kiss on the head.

Elias Edo​

 

[Elias Edo]

Who'd Even Know If I Were Gone?

The aversion to water—specifically, the belief that it concealed gateways to Hell—was a uniquely Lorrdian cultural trope. He was sure there were other key elements of their faith and philosophy, but this was the most profound one that he had learned during his time as a Knight of the New Jedi Order. His friend Tarus Undara was Lorrdian, and had a very similar relationship with water to what Efret was describing now.

“I wouldn’t call your belief a taboo,” Elias said, his tone respectful but honest. “It’s a tradition.”

“A part of what makes your people unique. Many would raise their eyebrows at me for saying that I still cling to Genetian beliefs… we, uh- believe that the Force has living avatars. Beneath the waves, they swim through the depths, guiding sailors and fishermen on their journey.”

As he went on, Elias seemed to transform from an informative man with a wide range of cultural knowledge to an emphatic orator retelling a legend. His hands gestured to enunciate his words, his smile grew, and for a moment, that purple scar in his iris began to fade.

“We call it Ashla, but it can take many forms. My favorite is a giant manta ray. It brings us warm skies, protects our islands and cities from storms, and fills the sails with wind.”

He turned to face Efret, realizing by now that he’d been rambling. Elias flashed an apologetic smile, just as Nirrah came down from above to perch on Efret’s shoulder. She was a beautiful little creature, Elias noted, one capable of being Efret’s eyes in the sky—quite literally.

Elias offered a knuckle to caress the convor’s feathers. If he didn’t possess an ability to bond quickly with new animals, he might have found it odd that Nirrah was so welcoming to him. Familiarity of that caliber is almost certainly earned rather than offered freely. He gave her several loving scratches, but when he noticed her eye, he slowed to a stop.

He didn’t comment on the speckling, though he wanted to. It looked like his own, which he’d come to view as a scar rather than the medically diagnosed “trauma-induced heterochromia.” The care team wasn’t bothered by how Elias chose to understand things, but they were rather clear about him keeping the details of what happened private. Whether it was to spare him the embarrassment of people disbelieving his account or to keep the entire ordeal under wraps, Elias was unsure.

He simply obeyed.

Mostly.

He was marching toward his starship with unwavering intent to flee Naboo, after all.

Tags: Efret Farr​

 

[Efret Farr]

If he took the distant look that came over her eyes as he spoke as evidence that he had, in fact, been rambling, he misinterpreted it.

She was back on Bogano in her mind, in her greatest time of need. The sting of nysillin chasing away the pain caused by her duel with Malva'ikh in her hip, shoulder, and scalp. An ache like nothing she had ever known settled again into her feet and lower back. She tried to ignore it as she walked on with Elias.

"When I was a boy, my mother told me the tale of Matara, the ancient hero our city was named after. Matara was brave and strong, but also cunning and mischievous. He was always finding ways to trick Ashla, the mother goddess, into treating us, his people, with gifts. He had done it many times before - that's how we learned to fish and cook with fire, how to make waka hourua, how to wear tā moko."

<"#Matara use-hook. Grab-islands from ocean, pull them up for sun to see."> "At first, Ashla was upset." <"She not-happy. Want children to use canoe to explore, not stay on island-under-sun."> "But Ashla came around when she saw how happy Matara had made the people. We would still sail, still fish, still wear the tā moko... but we would also have a place to rest our heads when we were finished and the sun was setting."

<"#Ashla-ask, what #Matara call it? He call it..."> "Hau kāinga." <"It-mean home.">

<"Bogano my home. It your home now, too. As much time you-need.">

Distress prickled behind her nose.

Nirrah’s joy as Elias scratched her head grounded the other master. The urge to weep waned away as quickly as it had come. Before it could return, she focused back on where they had left their discussion.

“Yes. You make a considerate distinction between taboo and tradition,” she agreed. “I do love and am proud of my culture. I don’t want to forsake it. I only meant that I think it’s a shame to feel held back from having an experience that I might enjoy, whether that be learning a new skill or visiting a water world.”

The sentiment wasn’t some new realization she had found in the quietude of Lake Country in these past six months. She had known as long as she had been a Jedi Archeologist that her aversion to water limited her professional exploits—not vastly, but enough to from time to time be somewhat problematic. Even then, she had desired to cast off the culturally-dictated restriction for exploratory freedom, but she hadn’t been able to. It followed her like a second shadow.

“Do you plan to visit home?” she dared to ask, though she assumed the answer to be yes. But that still left the question: did he mean to return to Genetia or to Bogano?

Elias Edo​

 

[Elias Edo]

Who'd Even Know If I Were Gone?

"I am," Elias answered with confidence. He backtracked a little, though, to clarify. "Or rather, a place that's as good as home. It was lost for a long time, but I rediscovered it years ago with a good friend by my side." The face was there, but the name was not. Elias remembered the man's eyes, sharp and shrewd, fiery like the sun. His voice was there, too. Warm and kind, always reassuring... when he wasn't egging on one bad idea or another. The memories, though frayed at the edges, brought a smile to Elias' face.

"Bogano," he said, as if it were his friend's name itself.

"There are many good people there who I haven't seen in quite some time. I hope that they've fared well in my stead, and that they forgive me for being away so long. I have a boy there, you see. He's not my son, but he may as well be—I love him like he's my own." Elias' mind struggled for a moment, but unlike so many others, Fenn's name was fished from the murkiness with relative ease.

He explained to Efret how he met the boy, who was now closer to being a young man. Stories of Dagobah and the Sith invasion, of treating Fenn's wounds in the hall of healing at the enclave, of teaching him how to garden and care for his lightsaber. All endearing, but each one a story she'd heard before. Some, she had even been a part of.

Elias sighed, sounding much like a proud father after reminiscing on a lifetime of parenting.

"Yes, I'm very eager to get back. As soon as we've got you patched up, I'll be parting ways with the Republic."

By now, the trio—Nirrah included—had reached the spaceport and were nearing the familiar shape of Elias' trusty freighter, the Calypso. It appeared that Lady Kalantha's promise to maintain his ship had been kept.

Tags: Efret Farr​

 

[Efret Farr]

The answer came quickly.

Her expression somehow softened as he mentioned Bogano.

Then he spoke of Fenn. Elias didn't have to say his name for her to know.

Her heart had acclimated soon after she had begun to speak with Elias, but now it ached anew. She leaned on the Force for its boundless patience. Letting others tell their stories even if they were ones she already knew, either in part or entirely, was a skill that she had developed shortly after she started doing ethnography, but this, today, was something she could barely tolerate.

Elias knew no better, at least not consciously, nor at the depths of his unconsciousness that he could access.

Anxious and aggrieved passions rose up in her like magma partially crystallizing her organs. As they ascended, she pushed them into her feet, from where they drained past the cobblestone pavers and drew back down into the soil. They would do good down there as they travelled towards Naboo’s core. The kind of heat and pressure that they could impart was better suited for the plutonic and metamorphic rock that could bear it chronically, not one such as Efret who had spent enough time with emotions of that ilk and didn't want to be likewise changed by too much exposure.

She could only hope that she was hiding her reactive feelings quickly enough that he wouldn’t notice their impression on her aura.

“He sounds like a lovely boy,” she complimented as if she didn't know Fenn. “I'm glad that you two have each other.”

When he shared his desire to leave in no uncertain terms, she nodded, taking the news like a riptide. Swimming against it would do no one any good. “I'm sure the Republic will miss you, but you must do right by yourself. I left the New Jedi Order myself, before it dissolved, for personal reasons.” She left it at that, a gentle reminder that he wasn't alone even with a woman he thought a stranger.

Aiyorre and the rest of the care team would be deeply disappointed if they knew of Efret's sudden conviction to let him return to his enclave. When she had come to Theed, she had every intention to somehow convince him to return to the Medical Center, but now any hint of that had evaporated under the sunlight of his eyes.

The team's collective experience with treating Force sensitives was extensive and effective but it wasn't a replacement for being Force users themselves. It would surely do Elias good to be in the presence of other Lightsiders again, especially ones he was fully comfortable around.

But further than the practicality, she knew that she couldn’t—wouldn’t—make a decision for him when she had spent six months angry that he had made one for her. Still, she wasn’t angry at him directly; she was angry at their fate that his choice had caused for them both.

Of the many things she was, or had been, she wasn’t a hypocrite.

The Calypso’s deck plan came back to her immediately as she walked through the airlock. She had only been aboard once, but the layout was basic enough to recall even after so much time. Though she remembered exactly where the medbay was, she stepped to the side and awaited Elias' directions.

As she either trailed behind him or followed a verbal path to her destination, she allowed her mind to wander. What might his reaction be if she was to tell him that she had once fixed a jammed compressor in the mechanical bay? One of the corridors she passed on her way she knew to lead there. She couldn't help a short glance down it with Nirrah's assistance. In that moment, Efret could almost feel the grease and grime between her fingers. It was a sensation she almost couldn't stand even though she had made a career of largely digging in the dirt for herself. She loved the feeling of soil, of mud, of sand on her skin though—even underneath her nails. The difference was in the synthesis: what sentients made for their own purposes versus what the laws of nature did for its.

An involuntary shiver shook her body.

Convor and Lorrdian looked again straight ahead.

Elias Edo​