Private Where We Go From Here

[Amani Serys]

Amani immediately winced after she’d said it, resorting to that tactic making her feel uncomfortable. It wasn’t something she wanted to argue about, and given Kyra’s response, she didn’t want to either. Hardly a good note to end on, especially if she really was going to leave.

And if… well, if Kyra was right, and she didn’t come back, a fight wasn't exactly what she wanted their last memories of one another to be.

Kyra pushed away, making Amani even more nervous as she tried to remedy the situation. She gave a downcast glance, turning away sheepishly. “I’msorry…” Amani tried to reapproach her friend, opening up as she saw the tears coming back. “I’m sorry, Kyra, please. I just…” Her voice cracked as she choked up, “I hate this. I just want things to be normal again.”

Was leaving really going to solve that?

Kyra Perl

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra curled smaller into herself, sensing deep inside that there was nothing she could say to make her friend stay. She knew when a mind was made up. She understood stubbornness when she saw it, and the root of it coiled deep in Amani's chest. Numbness crawled over Kyra, the girl no longer having it in her to stare down the friend she was about to lose.

Maybe for good. Who knew.

"We're not children anymore. Normal isn't coming back." It was a simple statement, but it was a biting one. For years Kyra had chased the return of her childhood-- days spent with siblings getting into butter and falling from fridge tops. Kyra missed her mother something fierce. But nothing in all the galaxy was gonna get them all back together again. Not in the same way at least. The picture had changed, but the puzzle still remained shattered.

The same was happening to their little friend group on Silver Rest. The paddie pack was growing up, breaking off, or lost. Nothing would ever be able to repeat it to what it once was. Not if Amani left too.

Kyra gave a helpless shrug, no more words of wisdom left to impart-- no more answers to be hand. There was only pain and numb acceptance. If Amani was looking for her blessing, she wouldn't get it.

 

[Amani Serys]

"We're not children anymore. Normal isn't coming back."

Harsh words. And not some she expected to hear from Kyra. Amani paused and pulled away as her friend seemed to close herself off. As much as it pained her to witness, it only strengthened Amani’s resolve. “Then you know I need to see this through.”

The Jedi, and the paddie pack in particular, were the closest thing she had to a family now, whether they realized that or not. For her this undertaking meant everything. 'Normal' might be gone, but perhaps something new could come out of it. She was finally starting to see that. But first, there was still one massive hurdle in the way. If they could get through this, they could get through anything.

Hopeful thinking, perhaps, but there was little left to run on now but hope.

Amani scooted over right next to Kyra. Folding her arms around her knees, she sat quietly as she mulled over her thoughts. Reminiscing over their time as padawans together, coming to terms that it may not ever be that way again. Without moving, her voice now dry and weak, she simply asked, “...Do you trust me?”

Kyra Perl

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra didn't see the set up. She didn't see where the words were going. She just heard a question and answered hotly. "Well, duh." She did not melt from her curled up position, her arm going over her curled up knees. Their silenced stretched on, their shared pain echoing through the room like a sonar wave.

Empath problems.

 

[Amani Serys]

Amani placed her hand on Kyra's shoulder, turning to face her. "Then trust me on this." Her sincerity and compassion shone through as brightly as her conviction, and their pain now, "We can get Elise back. And we can get Nida back. This doesn't have to be the end. I don't want that any more than you do. Trust that I can do this. Trust that we can get through it." Of course she didn't know for sure. But she wholly believed it possible, that fading spark of optimism refusing to die out just yet.

Amani reached into her pocket, pulling something out and offering it for Kyra to take. A long range communication device, something that would give them a chance to talk if anything came up. "If you need my help. For anything, any reason, call me with this, and I'll be there as soon as I can." She reached over and took Kyra's other shoulder in her hand as well, facing her directly so there was little option other than to look her in the face, "You are my friend, Kyra. I've never made it clear just how important you all are to me, but I wouldn't trade it for anything." Her lip trembled as emotion threatened to burst out yet again, choking up on her own admissions.

Kyra Perl

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra's expression slowly pinched up. Her nose turned red as she held back more tears, her upper lip growing stiff.

But she wasn't going out to get Nida. Her family was. The jedi were. She was just a padawan. ... Right? Amani's decision to pursue a near stranger in the name of what's right left a burning hole of guilt in her stomach. Staying back and letting the adults handle it was right! ....Right?

She clutched at the comm, pinching the device between two of her fingers like it was a life line. In some ways, Amani was. The tears slipped past her defenses, snot sliding in a near invisible sheen down her lip.

"Please come back. Promise me. Promise me I'll see you again."

Amani Serys

 

[Amani Serys]

Kyra Perl​

A sense of relief washed over Amani when the commlink was quickly taken. Like it was a burden that weighed heavily on her conscience. It was done. They had a connection to one another now. However far away their journeys took them, there was a lifeline that could bring them back to each other. Amani hoped that would be enough. But Kyra wanted more.

She wanted a promise.

Amani paused, letting Kyra’s request hang in the silence that followed. Options were weighed carefully. This mission would be dangerous. Unforgiving. And quite possibly suicidal. How could Amani make a promise like that?

She couldn’t, she realized.

But she was going to anyway.

“...I promise. I promise we’ll see each other again. I promise.”

There was no way of knowing, all the confidence in the galaxy couldn’t will her crusade into success. But it was what Kyra needed to hear. And in truth, so did Amani. One last push to see this through. She couldn’t let her down now. A promise was a promise.

Amani brought her friend into one final embrace, hugging her tightly as if it really were the last. It was only a few seconds, but it had felt like forever. She still wasn’t ready to let go. But she made herself pull away. There were no more tears left to spare. Amani rubbed her eyes as she stood up, grabbing her bag and slowly making her way to the exit. It swung open into the hallway, and she stood in the doorframe and took a last look back at Kyra.

Say goodbye.

But she didn’t want this to be goodbye.

Say it.

Amani left in silence.