Private When the Stars Dim

[Lossa Aureus]

Armored Robes
Jakku - Twilight Hours​

Ruby colored eyes watched the sands shift. A familiar sight that held no comfort in this visit for the Zeltron. The dark gray of her clothing and armored pieces marking her as an outsider to this place she once called her own. Once oversaw. Now watched as it fell into the clutches of another galactic power that would no doubt tear through it should the hallowed halls be found. A deep sigh that matched the sudden haze of sand across the top of a dune as air found purchase against the dunes face.

The galaxy was an ever changing place. In much the same way people did.

Her hands firmly clasped behind her back, Lossa turned to walk back inside. A final inspection of the place she had stood as part master and part student. A title she felt she might never willingly shake for however long the stars saw fit to shine for her.

The heavy clack of her armored boots marked her entrance through the underground facility.

She had warned those present to find sanctuary elsewhere. That the safety this planet and place had afforded them was now running on borrowed credits with an exponentially shortening lifespan. Some had left quickly. Others packed. Stored. Secreted things away. Others chose to remain. She did not feel the need to caution them against the decision.

It was their choice to make.

Instead, she made her way to the central chamber. Ignoring the quiet chaos of those remaining attempting to decide what their final actions in these halls would affect. How much they could save of what they considered sensitive or precious. Determine the value of their lives against the physical world that was ever in flux.

She pondered how she had been shouldered with the responsibility of this place. Not solely on her own. Not at first. Briana Sal-Soren had shared that with her. But time has a way of shifting the scales. Beings came and went. Priorities changed. Life became too much. Or took too much.

But life happened.

Silence settled around her. Weighed down by the turmoil she felt of abandoning a part of herself for the only path forward that made sense. The cycle she had thought unable to happen, reminded her of how inevitable it was once again. Her own beliefs tested against what felt like the same folly that had pushed her out of the core and into the Rim. Only to find the same there.

But a new source of change had found her attention. Crude. Clumsy. But absolute in resolve. And that more than anything had drawn her curiosity. Then her attention when it showed itself bearing fruit. And then her begrudging acceptance before she began to wonder if this was what she had been searching for.

"For a better future."​

Her eyes opened as she looked around at the seats inside the main chamber. Her lip curling into a barely there sneer, as if the scent of failure itself crept up and out to offend her. Loathing settled into her heart as she sighed. Waiting.

Romi Jade​

 

[Romi Jade]

---​

She'd been spending her time continuing her research into the Blackwall, of which had started here... there weren't many, if any, centers of Jedi learning left that could dive deep into the more esoteric elements of the Force, than Jakku...among other things. But, understanding the science behind the impassable barrier took her away for awhile.

Such a significant place...on such an insignificant planet....yet with so much silent influence -- even she sometimes forgot, and lost sight of everything bubbling beneath the surface.

Her shoulder dipped, as she rounded the corner. There had never been such anxiety in the air. She followed through a couple more steps, finding a square ahead but not quite center the room.

"Lossa..." she said, announcing herself.

She could tell something was off, but it was scattered throughout the air like static, and hard to grasp metaphysically. By this point she had seen others scramblings, and the Anchorites packing up. By this point she had known orders had been given, but she wasn't so sure as to why.

"They're saying you told everyone to seek sanctuary elsewhere, did something happen?" She asked.

Lossa Aureus

--- ​

 

[Lossa Aureus]

Armored Robes
Jakku - Twilight Hours​

A different set of steps announced the arrival. A presence that once had offered comfort. Guidance. A heavy, but present hand in shaping how she viewed the world and interacted with it. One that had taught her and made her decide. A faint smile appearing as Romi posed her question to seek understanding of the situation.

Only her head shifted at the invitation to speak. A slight turn to acknowledge that she had been spoken to.

But that time had passed her by. Responsibility and duty were now what amounted to chains that kept her bound to a way of life that would not provide what was needed. Connections that would hold her back from doing what needed to be done. Would hem and haw at her every move to find that moral high ground in how things were handled.

"If you had been here, you would understand the why." Her words measured as her shoulders relaxed with each spoken word. "Ever the late arrival to decided situations, Master Jade."

She spun on her heel, meeting Romi's gaze and choosing to hold it.

"Great change is coming to Jakku. And instead of allowing this place to become another Ossus, I took action to prevent that. As is proper for the one in charge to do." A slow step forward as her gaze remained fixed on Romi. A dip into anger at being questioned bringing with it buried questions and feelings.

"Or would it have been better for those that call this place home to remain? To fight those seeking to loot and earn tallies for conquest and lives taken?" Another slow step forward. Her tone sharp with assumption.

A brow rose as her face turned to the left. Quick and sharp as if memories had interrupted her pace.

"Would it have been better for them to remain ignorant of what was coming? To be the reason Jedi assembled, spoke, and decided to do nothing but sit on their hands about the lives lost here?' Her eyes shifted back to Romi, her face remaining slightly left as if filtering through the details of her memory. A slow inhale as her brow knitted together and irritation laced her tone.

"It seems the only thing we Jedi are good for anymore, is posturing from the moral high ground, using the young to fight battles we would otherwise remain apart from, and-" Her form straightened. "Remaining on the sidelines because of our perceived allies as the galaxy continues to burn around us."

Expression shifting from the bored irritation to pointed disgust as memories settled in to place. Her mouth set in a deep frown as she stared at the woman who had been so impactful on her life. Lossa had been willingly blind to the issues surrounding her former Master. Blind to the problems surrounding her methods. Blind to the problems her teacher helped create. Blind to the problems with the woman that stood before her as both a person and a jedi. Surrounding herself with power and ability. Surrounding herself with younger jedi to act as pawns in some game she had created. Creating a pedestal for herself.

"You know a great deal about remaining hidden away from the galaxy and it's problems, though."

Romi Jade​

 

[Romi Jade]

---​

By this point she didn't need the Force or any metaphysical power to pick up on the tension, more importantly the tension that was between them -- something was wrong.

She could hear the venom in her words, and when she spun around she could see it in her gaze; it was in how she looked at her. She planted her feet, and corrected herself upright. "You're angry..." she said. Her eyes shot down to Lossa's steps forward, but she remained in her square, and listened.

The irritation in her face, on her person...it grew. Romi seemingly retreated within, looking away, eyes closing as she grasped for something, anything internal as she heard her apprentice's speech, and she had no quick rebuttal, because Lossa was right. And why wouldn't she be, she was one of the brightest yet obscure minds this order had.

Her head whipped back around at the end, her face scrunched up with incredulity "Enough. You can question my methods, they've always been under a microscope, but my intentions and anything I've done has been in service...to uphold civilization in this galaxy. It's been my life's work."

A beat.

"But i'm not perfect, and I'm not trying be. But I live with my chit every day. And I keep doing what I know, working with what I've got. I've sacrificed everything...for everyone else." She followed.

"This entire Order has become beholden to the wrong ideals...and I've tried, I've spoken out, I've warned...and in all the glory placed upon me, no one listened in the end. So what else am I to do? How else?" she said.

"You're right, the Jedi aren't good for anything...and feth, neither am I. If that makes you angry...I've always taught you, Briana Sal-Soren and Kaleleon to get up and do something about it. So what're you going to do? Are you really going to choose this path?" she threw her arms out.

Lossa Aureus

--- ​

 

[Lossa Aureus]

Armored Robes
Jakku - Twilight Hours​

Her gaze shifted, looking up and away as if in thought before she frowned.

"I was angry. I am tired. Exhausted, even." Eyes drifting back to Romi with a sigh and slight shake of her head.

"I do not need to question your methods or put you beneath a microscope. Intentions and methods are what have brought us to this point, Master Jade. Order, after Order, after Order, and on and on–" Lossa's hands finally emerging from behind her back as she waved them to mimic her words. "Have led us where? Led the galaxy where?"

Her hands stopped moving, falling to her side as the result seemed to weigh down on her entire body.

"War."

The anger and disgust faded for a breath. Ruby colored eyes, highlighted by the dark shadows beneath them, meet her former masters.

"What else do you do? Ho-HAH. Oh stars." Her laugh was short. Bitter. Pointed at Romi as kept herself from further laughter. Cocking her head slightly in disbelief.

"We speak, act, and work tirelessly. And nothing changes. Nothing, has changed." Her eyes closed in thought. "The Rim, the Mid-Rim, Core... none of it. As if–"

The thought interrupted with a shake of her head. Dismissed without being shared. Her eyes opening to focus on Romi once again with the fervor of a dying star. A subtle sunburst of orange and yellow around the dark core of her eyes.

"I am doing something about it. You taught me to think outside the box. And that, is exactly what I am doing." Her stance changed. Legs shifting until shoulders and feet were square with each other. Hands at her side as her lip pulled into a subtle sneer.

"If the ideals and methods have become so polluted, then why remain? You admitted to being ignored despite all the warnings and value your word holds. Why not help me to rectify the problem? Correct the course, and make a better galaxy for our daughters?" A hand extended to Romi as her eyes settled back to their rich ruby. A shimmer of something between hope and fear behind them as the sneer faded.

"Help me."

Romi Jade​

 

[Romi Jade]

---​

Her gaze shifted, looking up and away as if in thought before she frowned.

"I was angry. I am tired. Exhausted, even." Eyes drifting back to Romi with a sigh and slight shake of her head.

She looked upon this woman, whom she'd known since she was a girl, whom she saw as a daughter of her own. She looked upon Lossa, empathizing because she could see it on her, and it was never what she wanted for her, ever. She broke a moment as she saw the cracks "I know sweetheart..." she said in an airy gasp, eyes growing heavy.

She had taken many as students and mentees, and hadn't thought about the aftermath of bringing them inter her orbit, and tossing them in her machinations, for what she thought would develop them, teach and show them the galaxy for what it was and is...but the galaxy is an ugly place, and her methods were definitely a gauntlet on the psyche. That was her burden to bear....and while she was close to all of her students, she had a particular attachment to Lossa that was different from the rest, because in ways she saw things like she did; she thought how she did.

She pushed her too far.

"You're right," she agreed. "Perhaps the Jedi Order deserves to fall, to face the music of its stagnation, and failed actions, mine included. Because we've nothing to show for anything. It's indecisive and frail. And that is frustrating."

"I stay the course because this is my life's work, all I've ever known. I've walked my path, and in the end, all I've wanted to do is keep you all safe, even if that meant safe from me. So I've walked it alone, and all of those decisions will burn with the rest, and go down with this order. But, that doesn't have to be your path darling."

Our daughters...

"Don't." She shook her head. "This isn't the way to fix the problem Lossa, and you know it. You're choosing to give into those frustrations and fear, and you're taking the easy way out."

She shook her head. Because she could see the glimmer of hope, the side of Lossa she knew, it was there...behind bars of fear. And she wanted to reach out so badly to embrace her, that it nearly brought her to tears. But she couldn't power through this, or fight it in submission.

"I want to help you...but I see with you...as I've seen before, and as I see ahead...the only way to help you, is to let you go and find the answers on your own. To release you." She needed to try the opposite of what she'd done before.

"But you keep away from Zeriana."

Lossa Aureus

--- ​

 

[Lossa Aureus]

Armored Robes
Jakku - Twilight Hours​

"I know sweetheart..."

Fear was swept away for a moment. A connection that had yet to break fanning the small ember of hope behind those ruby eyes. Brightened before Romi continued on.

The fears swept back in as quickly as they departed and the glimmer faded with its return.

The softness that had crept into her features began to change. A hopeful smile now forming a thin line. The crease in the corner of her eye smoothing itself as she listened to the words her Master spoke.

A small twitch forming into irriation within the corner of her mouth at the remark of taking the easy way.

But she did not interrupt.

As much as she wanted to bring her Master along. As much as she wished to have somw semblance of reason beside her, she knew the effort was in vain. Knew the sliver of hope for such an outcome was foolish. Romi Jade was not one to be swayed from her path or beliefs.

Not by friends. Nor family. Or the very galaxy itself.

But she could say with certainty that she had tried. One of the last honest acts she was likely to keep beside her heart on this journey forward. The remark about Zeriana drew out a glare. One that formed beneath her brow as her chin tucked slightly towards her chest.

"You of all people, do not get to make that demand." The words carried like a black hole drawing in the unprepared. Her fists clenched tight enough to make the material groan beneath the pressure.

It was a bitter pill admitting that Zeriana would get the things Lossa had sought most in her own childhood. But it was for the best. Surrounded entirely by family both direct and branching.

"You left your daughter with little more than a word, and a hope that she would see you again. In the care of those she barely knew." Her whole form seemed to grow as her volume followed suit with the mounting ire at such a callout. The walls reverberating with the contained anger as her boot scuffed along the polished floor with a single step forward.

"Grandparents. Cousins. Aunts. Uncles. Friends. Family! My daughter will want for nothing!" Lossa spat each word. "And who did you leave CJ with? Who?"

Romi Jade​

 

[Romi Jade]

--- ​

She stood in silence for a moment, taking it in. Romi had selfishly reconciled with the decisions she made as a parent, doing what she thought was best for Cortana, given the cards, and despite how she felt. She knew she'd be a karked up mother, just like her own mother, despite how hard she wanted to be different. But for all the things she was good at, personal relationships was an area she completely sucked in; she loved the only way she knew how -- sacrifice and distance.

And she had failed all three of her daughters...because she saw both Lossa and Briana as her own. "Enough."

But she understood that her maneuvering was the best expression of love she was capable of giving. "I did what I thought was best for Cortana, I never wanted her to be a Jedi, and I never wanted to deny her her birthright. Stopping her training, and sending her away was the biggest form of love and protection I could give her at the time, to protect her. And physically staying away now, is me protecting her more. It wasn't easy Lossa..." she said.

"She's the reason I continue on, all three of you are, even Zeriana. I had to find a way to protect all that I loved. You understand that now, more than ever before."

"I made the ultimate sacrifice, and I'm alright with that decision. I tried-I tried! Despite my failure." she continued. As she had convinced herself years ago.

"I didn't give in to my fears and frustrations like you are now!" she yelled, "What good will that do?"

Lossa Aureus

--- ​

 

[Lossa Aureus]

Armored Robes
Jakku - Twilight Hours​

The words Romi spoke did not soothe the anger. Serving instead to stoke the flames that now consumed her heart with the retelling of the why Romi had acted and decided. Lossa's fingers trembled as her hands slowly opened from their clenched grip. Tremors so violent that they began to creep into every part of her body.

The only steady part of the Zeltron being her planted feet as her expression shifted further into anger.

"And what have you found by protecting us with your, best way possible? Your, ultimate sacrifice?" A breath hissed out from between her gritted teeth, eyes widening to take in the woman that stood before her still. Her entire form radiating with anger that began to distort any solid line of her figure. As though she were slipping between some other place.

"Did you find that hidden, thing, that would bring an end to all the troubles and woes of the galaxy? That would stop all the bloodshed and fighting?" Another thud resounded as she took another step forward. "Some forgotten relic of a bygone era that would cinch the troubles of every being that lives and breathes in the verse?"

A deep breath in sharpened her anger to a razors edge. The hunched stance slowly easing into an upright and almost formal pose despite the intensity of her stare as the breath was let out carefully. Until she was upright and rigid like any other soldier.

"Or have you come back empty handed, looking to those you abandoned, for answers to problems we have been dealing with in your absence?"

Hands carefully clenched again. Moving with pain staking care to return to the spot behind her back as she stood in parade rest once more. The anger still radiating from her as the ruby color of her eyes gave way to the brilliant sunburst that held Romi centered in them.

"I have not given into fear or frustration. I am acting by choice, instead of running away." Unwavering. Belief behind every syllable as she looked over her former Master. The visible lines of anger faded as she accepted what those words meant. What saying them aloud rather than simply thinking them began to cut away. The fire had not gone out, nor had it dimmed. The source had changed. Resolve settling over resentment.

Choice over impulse.

A slow breath in found her voice returning with a detached sense of calm. "The good it will do, is doing what others have avoided. Have wavered from. Have let pride or morality sway them. The galaxy does not need the impotence of the Jedi who wait for the next massacre or inhumane act to come together to waffle about solutions before nitpicking one another into inaction because it does not suit them. Who band together long enough to earn glory and claim righteousness before returning to their manufactured seats of power until the next incident arrives at their feet."

She shook her head as she finished speaking, as if the thought itself was dismissed.

"I will no longer take part in a system that chooses to sit idle and argue about optics, when the situation requires swift, decisive action."

Romi Jade​