Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Were You Just An Illusion?

Hagron's World
The Galaxy's Arm
She did not know what madness had brought her to this place.

Freedom had found her in the hands of [member="Itash Mecetti"] a man who had for whatever reason released her from her bonds and offered her a position where she would receive pay, benefits, vacation time, and best of all the ability to do all the things she had been forbidden from doing for as long as she could remember. Truth be told life before her perpetual torment felt more like a dream than anything else, tiny fragments of information that fled before she could fully grasp at them.

Which is why coming here made no sense.

She knew he would not be here. Knew he was not real, just some silly story she had made up to ease her tremulous life, to give her hope in an otherwise desolate landscape, and yet she had traveled all the same, across the stars away from the Sith and from her saviour Itash. He knew, of course, she wasn't the sort to accept help and then throw it in that individuals face, no she planned to stay true to her word and provide her services as a physician and an alchemist. But he had also not held her back when she spoke of her need to do so.

And so here she was. On the very edge of the Galaxy, down an arm that ended at this very world.

Hagron's World, to be precise.

Why she had chosen this place she did not know, it did not hold any significance to her and her fake-man, she had not even really heard of it before checking the star map, and yet she had felt drawn to it all the same. She knew that this was the place, if ever there was one, that he would be.

Whoever he was.

Truthfully she could not recall. It was all a blur, and nothing before Ziost was real.

[member="Ijaat Mereel"]
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhwwCWkmYoc​
They say the Force had a will of it's own. Some attached a near sentience and intellect to the energy field. Others passed it as little more than a tool to be utilized to the will of the practitioner. For Ijaat? It was something in between. The Force seemed to be, if any sort of independent animus, a disinterested intellect at best. At worst, it's motives were inscrutable and mercurial, and often times cruel & ironic. Originally he had come to this backwater of nothing because he had an associate here. A native, or well what passed for one, who he did business with for Desh and Terenthium.

The fellow had been delighted when Ijaat turned up not dead, and had placed a rather large order for the materials. For regular alchemical workings, the two made great blades when alloyed. A bit less stiff than hoped for, but like stainless steel, they were great for short knives and other purposes. One just had to know the limitations of their material. Ijaat was not some rank apprentice, or even a struggling journeyman. With his talents and trials, and decades of knowledge, there likely wasn't much in the galaxy he hadn't tried to Forge. Actually there likely wasn't much he hadn't forged successfully at this point, let alone tried. So he used a less sterling resource because it was easy, and amply adequate for the task at hand. Even if it meant coming to this backwater.

But as he was sitting in a cafe enjoying some rare native fish baked in herbs and some citrus fruit similar to a lemon with a sweeter finish, he felt it... A shattering presence in his minds' eye. Shatterpoints were something easy as breathing for him, though others struggled. Force senses screamed, even though when he knew her he didn't know the Force. There was a swelling panic in his chest as soon as her foot touched the soil, and like iron to a lodestone the years fell away and he stood, scarcely remembering to pay and when he did throwing a credit chit easily three times the worth of the expensive meal on the table and just striding off.

No clicked notice to Geoff to warm up the ship. She was close. Nothing mattered. It was a struggle to remember to breathe, and people were bumped into or knocked to the ground as he broke into a full run a few yards off the terrace of the bistro. But not many got in the way of a fully armored Mandalorian, armed to the teeth with blades and guns, and Protector colors gleaming. Still, he did not slow. Coat streaming, arms wheeling to move bodies and carts and more out of the way, he moved like a hound on the scent or a man possessed. Theirs was a love, a something, that the bards would sing about or so his brother had said. And when it was taken from him, he had become a monster that those that went bump in the night would come to fear.

Now, she was back. Even that glimmer overrode all caution and thought. It could very well have been a trap or trick, but he refused. Logic and reason fled his mind. His boys had been found, even if one refused to answer him and the other was impossibly distant. Jenna was even speaking to him after years of not. This could not be a coincedence.

And so he rounded a corner, skidding almost into a lovely fruit cart as the owner pushed it down the street, and stood staring. There was so much different, so much changed. And he knew he was not even close to the same man, or anything, that she would know. But a thousand lives and a hundred deaths could have claimed him and he would know. Without question, without hesitation, he would just know. His helmet was yanked off with a hiss of vacumm seals, and he gripped it loosely against his leg. Fear quaked his voice when he finally spoke. Whether through luck, fate, or trickery... He had kept the same voice through all of this.

"... Aerin?"

[member="Aerin Akun Mereel"]
 
The woman who looked up to the sound of a distant voice calling her name was not immediately recognizable as the one known as Aerin Akun. Once luscious hair which had reached down her back with immense yet natural ringlets had been cut shoulder length, straightened, blacked in place of the red she had been born with, her neck held tell tale signs of scarring which reached further down beneath the cuff of her shirt, and her face was painted through with what seemed to be war paint of sorts, though Force only knew its true purpose. Even her eyes held more of an orangey-yellow tint.

They held confusion, then doubt... And finally outright disbelief. Though the face was not that which plagued her dreams and often came to mind when times were at their toughest she knew it was him. Not who he was, not his name or who they had been, just his presence, his being.

She had not even realized that she had started moving until she carefully brushed aside another one of the merchants using the path which intersected the one they were stood upon, and therein she came to a standstill several feet from him. Simply staring, still not willing herself to believe for just one minute that it had all been true, all of those memories she had pushed deep down within which had been flagged as false constructs of what little hope still remained.

It was so difficult to comprehend, her head felt as though it might shatter into a million pieces for all her efforts of trying to. A word lingered upon her lips, neither name nor anything which could truly distinguish him for who he was in her mind, a word she did not know she even knew, a language she hadn't dared believe was ingrained within her mind.

"Cyar'ika?"

What did that even mean? What sort of weight was there behind such a term? She took a very slight step back, an obvious tremor now coming over her person as she stared face to face with all she had led herself to believe was a dreamstate. She shook her head, turning slightly to glance back the way she had come, and one hand subconsciously lifted to press against her leftmost temple.

This was wrong, it was all wrong...

[member="Ijaat Mereel"]
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8T-bhioAx4​

There was space between them he was aching to fill and close. The wind carried her scent to him, foreign and yet hints of the familiar and same. She stared at him like a ghost had risen from her dreams. Or perhaps that he was a nightmarish torment made flesh. But space was left, perhaps in a moment of inspired caution. Within her eyes, tinted differently with a befoulment he knew well, there was fear and disbelief, and near panic. Memories turned to that day, the face of the Sith Lord he now knew as his uncle floated in his vision. Mocking smirk. Demeaning laugh. The shrieking of Aerin as their unconscious boys were drug in one direction, and her in another. [member="Reverance"] had drug her by the hair, kicking and screaming. Ijaat had led a strike team against his operations and scored a great victory. And this was his vengeance. To shatter the proud man's family and hopes.

With a clatter and scrape, the helmet in his hand thudded to the well worn and smooth cobblestone beneath their feet, and he took an involuntary step forward as she spoke. Facial markings strange and foreboding struck fear into his heart. Some of the tracings and curves were similar to things he had seen in the holocron Ashin had given him and in various Alchemy books by long-dead Sith. His heart ached to think of her under the sway of some sorcerer or spell. But even then, a steel-like resolve was hardened along his spine, heart flaring in his chest as his mind raced with thoughts of ending the enchanter or breaking her free if that be the case.

But nothing was said, nothing was done, he merely lifted out his hand to her with its' palm up. Gloved, armored, but trembling as if he were before Death or Life themselves at the Gates to the very afterlife. A tear, something he hadn't done in years and possibly decades, rolled freely down his cheek without being held back or fought. Voice caught in his throat as he tried to speak, and with desperation his wild eyes caught hers and he forced a jerking nod to her statement and question. It was him. Manda preserve him it was him. His mind strained for something, anything to say, and when he finally spoke, it made sense to no one else but them. And if he had thought about it, he couldn't tell you why he chose that memory to latch onto, or why he spoke. It just seemed right.

"You wore green that night... You hated the color, but I loved how it matched your eyes and shone with your hair and skin. So you wore it when we stood before your father. You even had Anesa, your maid, have the gown cut in the fashions of my people. Even that young, you were fiery and proud. Ner runi... It is you, isn't it?"

[member="Aerin Akun Mereel"]
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEVIeErWcnU

There wasn't much which could have shook her soul the way his chosen words did.

Memories which had relayed like dreams through her mind for the decades since their parting were brought to life, uttered on the lips of a man who otherwise would have no cause to speak of it. It had been a private affair, after all, at least in so far as such things went, and beside that fact none knew of her disdain toward that colour save he. Not that she could recall, not that her memory could serve to remind her.

She reached out, just as her knees buckled beneath her, her hand touching his in the moments which followed. Aerin had half expected her fingertips to fall right through his palm, for this to have been a cruel trick of the Master who had kept her locked away on the icy world of Ziost for so very long now, yet that was no so. Flesh touched flesh, even as she sank to her knees, and with the burdens of her soul lifted she knew it was all true. Everything he had fought to rend from her mind, all that she had frantically kept deep within the archives of her mind. This man, the boys... Her boys? Their boys?

Her eyes still held the same state of confusion, timidity that she had never once shown him save for on the night they were wed, and though she held his gaze for a few more moments she soon found herself incapable and instead looked to her thighs in agony.

The grip which had been held over her was tight, threatening to tear her in two as she opened up the annuls she had bound shut and rewatched all that had been lost to her. Where one tear fell for him countless trailed down her cheeks until she was sobbing, her shoulders shook, chest heaved, yet one so proficient in sensing such as Ijaat was would be able to tell that it wasn't all in remorse or sadness, no... There was relief mixed in there too.

She wasn't insane. It wasn't an illusion. He was real, he was there.

"Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar'tome... Mhi me'dinui an, mhi ba'juri verde."

Words she never thought she would speak again tumbled from her lips, this time she understood the meaning behind them even if not the direct words, her mind was slowly being lifted from a heavy fog and yet there were deep seeded memories which she could not quite rescue. Not yet at least. Still she dared not look to him, even as those words so effortlessly escaped her, the promise which had been made now standing between them as it had all these years despite their absence.

"My love," she finally breathed, "Forgive me all I have done..."

[member="Ijaat Mereel"]
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0-NbqMZmOQ​
The vow. It stunned him to hear the words, and took him back and he smiled, pressing down the flash of remorse, of regret, the aching slice and agony of an old wound reopened. He had buried them when they were gone. Almost died from not eating or sleeping, a man obsessed with memorializing what was important to him. Now, one by one, they were all coming back, and like gold flakes of joy in the lumps of dross that made up his life. She was on her knees, begging forgiveness, and as she did he raised her up with hands often so violent but now gentle and calm. Looking into her eyes he kept the smile, focusing on the features he had memorized so many times, and shook his head.

"There are things to discuss and memories to be made anew and a whole lot of healing on both parts. But forgiveness implies you did something purposeful. You were taken, and broken. I've every faith you tried to come back to me. Now come... Lets get you inside... You need good food, a drink, and we should talk... "

As she would remember, confidence rolled from him, and he took her by the shoulder and gently steered her a few streets over. He didn't say much as they walked. leaning into her, drinking in the feel of a lost piece of his soul back in his arms. Almost, he seemed protective of her, and he opened the door and bowed almost formally, sweeping a hand to gesture her inside his rented unit for the week. It was sparse, but he had unpacked a few niceities, and she'd likely recognize the battered hat on the rack by the door, if not the murder tooth jacket.

"Step in. I'll put the kettle on... And there's something you should have, now that you are here."

Inside he was mildly full of panic, and worry. This could be a trap. Any number of bad things. But a resolution had formed in his mind. If he were to die, let it be thinking his beloved was returned to him.

[member="Aerin Akun Mereel"]
 
Slowly, yet with firm confidence, she felt herself plucked up from the ground and made to stand before him. She had always been the shorter of the two, yet she had never really felt it until that moment when he towered over her. It was not unpleasant, though, even in her somewhat delirious state, quite the opposite he seemed to her like a protective front there to shield her from it all. Her chin was lifted until she was looking upon his face, one which spoke of a whole wealth of experience and torment.

Her own skin was pale, a sign of too many years spent locked up inside. The few walks she had managed to sneak on Ziost had been met with chill and barely anything in the way of real sunlight due to the nature of the icy world. They were visible opposites in many ways, yet none could deny the chemistry between them even now.

She leaned toward him, her head meeting with the crook of his shoulder, and together with him - in complete silence on her end, almost contemplative in nature - she was led through the streets. While she was headstrong in her own ways, when it had come to this man, a man she still could not fully recall the name of, she found herself more happy to follow suit, to remain close to him, than to carve her own way. It was his confidence, the gentlemanly demeanor, and just simply who he was. She had been quick to fall for him in the beginning, and even now she could understand why that was.

When the door opened she peered up at him, and then tentatively stepped inside. Every inch of the room was checked over in quick succession to make note of any dangers, to see where potential exits might have lay, or threats, before she inspected it more clearly after another step. This time looking for the details, the things that made it his room.

Instinct bade her to reach for the hat, her fingertips brushing over the fabric of its brim with a tiny frown and a gentle tremor.

"Ijaat..." she finally muttered, moreso for her own sake than for his, "Your name is Ijaat..."

[member="Ijaat Mereel"]
 
Her expression, and then his name spoken by her after so long made him smile faintly. She had given him the hate before a job when they were young, saying it made him look daring. There was no dispute, and no trying to tell her that it wouldn't be worn because he'd be in armor for the mission. Simply a grin that his young wife had remembered him admiring the thing one day on Adumar. And had made sure to buy it and wait for a special occasion. It was kept with his nicer clothes usually. For business, or worn when he wanted to feel fresh air rather than beskar against him.

Walking behind her, he gently ran a hand through her hair, patting her shoulder. Space was given so as to overwhelm his wife, and he just waited. Questions brimmed, boiled and bubbled into his mind, but he knew they would need to wait. She was a tangle of emotions in turmoil and chaos. Fear, regret, guilt, sadness, joy. Even the less talented with their senses would know to tread carefully. Even her body language screamed tension and insecurity. So he left a hand on her shoulder to allow moments to pass silently. When there had been what he felt was a sufficient amount of time passed, he cleared his throat, a gentle squeeze of her shoulder from his hand.

"You've been gone so long. I thought you dead. We all dead. There will be a few talks.. But... Later... Sit, and tell me what you feel you wish to tell, and we can talk"

With that, he blinked, and Geoff recognized the pineal command and a kettle began to hiss with heat.

[member="Aerin Akun Mereel"]
 
She couldn't stop looking at it all.

The room, while rented, still held telltale signs of the man he was, even if the only belongings which were his were few and far between. The way the bed had been made, the items on the table and the sideboard, even the placement of the hat on the coat rack, brought memories streaming back to her.

Aerin felt her breath catch within her throat. A shaky sensation, which traveled like a tremor along her spine, forced her lungs back into action, moments before his hand settled upon her. She could feel the distance between them, it felt like a canyon which spanned an immeasurable distance, yet that hand was a bridge, an offering between them, and she leaned back toward him.

"Where are they?" she finally whispered, almost as though she hadn't heard any of his former words, almost as though she had nothing to tell, no stories of her own to share, as though the years had melted away and they were merely husband and wife stood together as they did each day. Yet there was a terseness to her tone, as though a pressure had been applied to her throat, constricting her in a way that instilled urgency within her, "Where are our boys?"

[member="Ijaat Mereel"]
 
The question was simple, short and it still hit him as if an enraged wookie had delivered it with a punch to punctuate. The boys. His sons. They were alive, but they both blamed him for their mothers apparent death. Quintus took it the hardest, being closer to Aerin than his brother Darius.... But instead of the rage and ranting, Quintus had just radiated cold disappointment and refused to look at Ijaat when he had been told. And now, the boy wouldn't answer any form of comms.

Darius, howeveeer, had been more like his father when he was younger and damn near broke his jaw. They still talked, pleasantries, on occasion. But there was a distinct lack of warmth. Just pure duty. But regardless, Aerin deserved to know.

"They are both alive. Quintus is a geneticist and theoretical scientist at a multi-world conglomeraaate. Darius took after me, mercenary and warrior. Last I knew, he was with a company of Dathomirian-Mandalorians from the Rekalis, doing some wet work near the Kathol Outback... They both are less than fond of me, for various reasons... When you are ready, i'll call them... And, well... We can go from there..."

[member="Aerin Akun Mereel"]
 
Her vision tunneled at the word alive, blocking out almost everything else he said as her heart hammered in her chest and ears.

Reaching out for the back of a chair she used it to keep herself upright as her knees buckled. Usually she would never have allowed herself to appear as weak as she had this day, but in his arms, in his view, she did not care. Everything else became so insignificant as the years began to melt away and memories flooded into her mind - no longer repressed.

"Alive," she repeated, oblivious to the tension between Father and Son. Everything else could be fixed, after all.

She turned slowly, glancing up at him with curiosity within her eyes, uncertain of where to go from that moment.

"I... I need time to process this. All of this... I forgot, I forgot so much..."

One hand rose back toward her temple in that moment, and she closed her eyes in an attempt to fight the grip which remained over her psyche. Yet the other hand reached out, grasping up at the hem of his sleeve.

"But don't go. We've been apart for too long."

[member="Ijaat Mereel"]
 
"Of course. I swore until death did us part, and I've crossed even that boundary now. I won't leave you now that I have you back."

Taking her hand in his, he smiled with genuine warmth and squeezed a hand more weathered and with more age to it than he remembered either of them having. His were more calloused, scarred, and seemingly always dirty from the forge. One of his fondest memories of their life as a family was he and both the boys being scolded at the state of their hands and clothes, and being told to sort themselves before they could eat, if Aerin had cooked.

"Are you hungry? Tea is about done. I have a bit of uuuj cake, spicy kind like you and I both like..."

[member="Aerin Akun Mereel"]
 
Her hand felt as though it had been made to rest in his.

With a very soft sigh she stepped toward him and turned her gaze around the rest of the room. Coming here had been an arduous task, it had been mentally and physically taxing, yet as much as she wanted to curl up into a ball and relax she did not wish to waste so much as a second of time. There was so much to repair, so much time to catch up on. Thankfully he did not seem hellbent on pushing her too hard in any one direction, which allowed her to ease up and relax.

Looking back to him she met his gaze with a slight tilt of her head and frowned in thought. One hand reached up, fingertips barely grazing against his beard with a barely concealed tremor.

"Is it really you?" she asked, with distant eyes, after a few moments of prolonged silence. "This isn't a dream, is it? I'm not going to wake up to find this was another trick?"

[member="Ijaat Mereel"]
 
"No love... It's me... I'm here and real... And I'm no more a dream than any other part of life..."

Sighing, he shook his head. She had to know, it might change her thoughts on him. He wouldn't blame her if it did. The moment still haunted him, and he had problems going back ever since. Still had nightmares from time to time. His neti friend had done much to repair a broken mind, but there will still rough spots and sharp edges. It would change their life together. But later... Later she would know of his madness. For now, he stepped closer and put his hand over top hers on his bearded cheek and pulled her closer, sighing.

"They would have to break open the Netherworld and chain me to it's very foundations to try and keep me from you"


[member="Aerin Akun Mereel"]
 
"Something is on your mind," she said, without looking up at him. Just a gut feeling she had. Of course, there was probably plenty of things on his mind, she had just wandered back into his life after Force knew how many years away. If not for [member="Itash Mecetti"] she would not have been back at all, the man had given her back her freedom.. What would Ijaat make of that?

Glancing up as he settled his hand over top of hers she let out a soft sigh.

"Talk to me. Don't keep things from me, we've got too much time to make up for there to be more secrets between us. Come, I'll help you finish up dinner and we can talk..."

She didn't want to walk away from him, yet she forced herself to take a step back toward the kitchenette so that he'd follow. Exhaustion was setting in, but she wanted to eat and to enjoy his company a little more before she succumbed to the void and the nightmares it brought with it.

[member="Ijaat Mereel"]
 
He stepped with her, smiling ruefully, and his hand trailed from her shoulder tenderly, a gesture he'd done hundreds of times before. Walking to the sink he began washing hot peppers. His diet, in her assessment, had improved very little he would wager. Tingilaar soup was still a favorite, and the peppers were slid to her with a smile - she was always able to dice them so much smaller and core the seeds with a steadier hand than him. The little things.

"We can't go home... Not even to visit..."

A ragged breath as he began prepping thin strip steak to go into the soup, slicing it.

"I lost my mind for a moment. A Sith Lady, someone I thought was a friend, overthrew it. In that madness... I did things... I nearly destroyed Mandalore. I was murdered. A woman named Ashin brought me back from the embrace of death twice, into a new form. And gifted, or cursed, me with the Force. I wander the Galaxy as exile and dar'manda now. Any who stay by my side will be hunted, and thought of as little better than me. I cannot offer you the life you deserve. Just a ship, my bunk within it, and my heart which is always and will always be yours."

Simple words. A short statement. But they fell like tears of the sun, droplets of lead and fire from his eyes as he raged at himself in memory.

[member="Aerin Akun Mereel"]
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom