Private Weight

[Tansu Treicolt]

NABOO
immediately following the events of Coal
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Every step after that horrible conclusion blurred together. Naboo's beautiful, crisp scenery became nothing but a slosh of colours and a whirl of textures she couldn't appreciate. She felt sick. Unwell to her core. Too many thoughts ricocheted and collided, bouncing untamed through her mind. All her uncertainty and conviction made her steps unsteady, and as soon as she felt the familiar cool of a steel hull and the soundless white noise of a parked ship, she felt everything taut and twisted inside her collapse.

"Holy Feth," she wheezed, hand scrambling across familiar metals. But she could barely feel the solidity through the numb buzz in her hands. "Twenty seven dead. Murdered. 'Member we saw that on the holonet? And it was them...An' yeah they were bad men but bein' tossed around like some kinda braggin' right..."

A hundred why's tangled between her ears: Why couldn't her sister have left well enough alone? Why did she have to push Talsin? Why was she with Morrow? Why was Morrow such a bad influence? Why couldn't her sister see the path she tread? Why did she think it was okay to judge and execute?

"Holyfethholyfeth." She said again, nigh breathless, and stumbled without fully catching herself on the entry rest.

"I shoulda done it. I shoulda done it then and there it should be me. Me who gets that snake behind bars and me who gets my sister help."

Her father would be furious with her. Treicolts were supposed to stick together, not be at odds over morals. Forgive one another all treasons, family first.

Slumped to the entry way seat, hands in her hair, she stared at nothing. Felt nothing but the anxious twist a quarter-turn too tight in her chest. "What a liver bellied moment. I couldn't do it. I shoulda done it."

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Talsin Lota
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[Talsin Lota]

Tansu Treicolt

Talsin was calmer than Tansu as they stepped into the ship, if only outwardly, because inside there were a lot of coiled emotions. But him freaking out would not help the situation, it wouldn't help Tansu either.

Instead his hand settled gently on her shoulder and he let her... feel the collective feelings running through her right now.

What was there to say? What did you say in a situation like this? Talsin had known something was off with Talin and had been for a while, but not even his paranoid nature would have suggested that she was a murderer. She had been so proud of it too. Like he should have taken the sword himself and cut the Imperials down one-by-one.

As if that was justice and not plain murder. No, not even murder, a massacre. You couldn't call it a murder when her body count ran into the scores.

Talsin squeezed her shoulder gently when Tansu began to try and blame herself.

"She is a grown-up, Tan. She has made her decisions." Talsin said quietly. That was where they differed. Tansu for some reason thought that Talin could be 'helped' while considering her boyfriend a snake. But from where Tal was standing, they were both guilty. "But it shouldn't be on your hands, to put them behind bars, she is still your sister."

"We will call the authorities, let them handle it. We will offer what ever support we can from a distance. Yeah?"

Trying to keep his voice steady.

How was it possible that so many of those they were close to... were so far gone?

 

[Tansu Treicolt]

​

The pounding at her temples wouldn't go away, even has she pressed her fingers so tight to them the tips turned white. How had they even left the situation? How did they get back to the ship? She couldn't remember. She'd been in such a dumbstruck daze. She still was.

"They're with the Black Sun." She murmured. "We're on Naboo. The High Republic and Black Sun are absolute enemies, even just reporting their ship will make it difficult for getting offworld. Their crimes were on Denon though, that's Alliance space. Do you think they'd care enough to enforce anything there? Hand them over to Gee-Ay to deal with?" Her knuckles were at her teeth now, chewing anxiously.

"I dunno why, but it somehow feels like it'd be better if we tangled it out and dragged them off to jail ourselves. This seems so yellowbellied, so do it from a distance. Like I can't look her in the face while I betray her."

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Talsin Lota
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[Talsin Lota]

Tansu Treicolt

It was a whole mess, she made a good point.

The High Republic would most likely not prosecute either for crimes on Denon. And who was even leading the Galactic Alliance these days? Maybe it would end up being a local government entity on Denon. They had their own processes in place and the Corporate-dominated scene wouldn't take it kindly that a bunch of vigilantes massacred whole facility of Imperials.

Do you think they'd care enough to enforce anything there? Hand them over to Gee-Ay to deal with?

"Not our issue anymore." Talsin said with a sigh. "If we report it, it goes out of our hands, and that's how it should be. We are too close to the situation to be clear-eyed about it."

That had been the case with Jon too and the decision to try and let him do the right thing. Now he was out in the wind too.

Like I can't look her in the face while I betray her.

Finally Talsin caught her chin, gently guiding her face up to meet his eyes.

"Hey. You aren't betraying her. She murdered people, Tansu. You'd be betraying everything you stand for, if you closed your eyes on that, just because she is your blood. You wouldn't let anyone else get away with it, this isn't any different. It can't be or we aren't any better than the Sith."

Who believed that might made right and that just because you could, you should.

 

[Tansu Treicolt]

​

"Right..." Despite the disbelief in her drawl, she slowly tried to convince herself that what he said was true. There would be nobody closer to Talin, and the intimacy made her ill-equipped for justice to meet its definition.

She hadn't realized just how shifty-eyed she'd been until she was gently forced to focus. The depths of his brown eyes were rooting, solid, like the earth's colour they mirrored.

"I.." She started, but couldn't find a way to excuse herself. It was too much. Her thoughts were too big. Too afraid. That was her sister out there, who was going down a path she couldn't follow, couldn't encourage, and couldn't cover up the tracks. There had to be accountability at the end of the road.

And then she remembered how long it had taken for her twin to apologize for the mess she'd made on Atrisia. Like she was so disillusioned that she didn't think anything was wrong. What would her parents think? Her brothers? Her older sister? Of both of them? They'd want to help Talin. Forgive her.

She knew it. She knew because of the stories that had been passed from her mother and father. They'd been so in love that they'd sacrificed everything for one another. Loske had protected Maynard's darkside. And now it had bled to their offspring.

"I don't think I'll be able to go back home after this.." she whispered.

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Talsin Lota
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[Talsin Lota]

Tansu Treicolt

He was taken a back by that.

For a moment Talsin didn't say anything, instead he simply took her in his arms and gave her a gentle hug. But his mind was racing and he wasn't sure what to do with it.

Why would her parents not allow her back? Only because she didn't accept the fact that her sister was a murderer and wouldn't cover it up? What kind of karked up family was that? But Talsin didn't say that. She was already going through a lot, the last thing Tal wanted was for her to feel judged by her family or something else.

Instead-

"I... they would surely understand? She didn't just rob someone or do some vandalism. Or even just... one or two... what she did, Tan... surely your parents would understand that she has to be put in jail and serve time for it?"

His tone baffled at the mere suggestion that they'd blame Tansu for it and not allow her home.

 

[Tansu Treicolt]

​

Tears had yet to fall, but she felt as exhausted and wrung out as if she'd had an hour-long hysteric episode. Like a rag doll, she limply rest in the safe structure of Talsin's hug.

"I don't know. Maybe." Her voice was muffled, mouth behind hair and shirt. "It's more Treicolts stick together. Protect one another. Me turnin' her in and not holding her hand to get help, bring her back to the family, keep it private, that…" she angled tighter and drew her knees up. "That's sticky."

A few beats passed. She let herself breathe. Think through it.

"On that, it's gotta be me that calls 'em in. Not you. My voice if it’s a recorded call.”

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Talsin Lota
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[Talsin Lota]

Tansu Treicolt

Don't rock the boat. Keep it private, out of sight, keep it in the family and let them handle it.

Talsin shouldn't be surprised. It had all the hallmarks of the more rural approach they had. Didn't mean he had to like it, Tansu would feel as much from their shared connection. They couldn't really hide anything from each other in that way.

But Tal didn't judge either. Every people had their own way of doing things and at least here and now, Tansu was with him. She understood just as well as he did, that this couldn't be put in a box. This had to be opened up. It had to have consequences. Talin would have to learn what murder meant beyond the abstract.

What it meant when those acts spilled out in the open.

"Why your voice? Tan, she might never forgive you." Kissing her brow softly. "I don't mind doing it. She already hates me. It will only confirm what she already thought anyway... it doesn't have to be on you."

 

[Tansu Treicolt]

It was surprising to feel his reaction to what she said. Especially with his upbringing — she'd assumed nobility were constantly cleaning up one scandal or another; never letting things come fully to light. Closets full of expensive skeletons.

"That's 'xactly why." She affirmed, reaching up to catch his face this time and hold his focus the way he had to her just a beat or two earlier. Her eyes were raw, but intense. Her commitment to the decision fuelled by the length of time it had taken to hear from her sister, and then the even longer duration she'd spent waiting for her sister to apologize for putting Talsin in a situation to be comatose. "She already hates you, so it won't have the right weight. It has to be me if she's gonna take it serious."

Tansu's expression softened. "Don'tcha worry cowboy," — and her hands drifted to find his, filling the spaces between his fingers with hers and giving a squeeze. "I'll need you to do the dailin' and ringin' it in. I'll just do the talkin'."

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Talsin Lota
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[Talsin Lota]

Tansu Treicolt

Hearing it out loud that Talin Treicolt hated him disturbed him. He knew it was true, but it bothered him nonetheless. It was one thing to do something, even mistakenly, to make someone hate you. It was another to do nothing whatsoever, besides wanting to put a murderer behind bars. Then again, the revelation that Talin was a murderer and not just of one person but of scores...

Disturbing, yes, that was the right word.

He nodded slowly and then leaned in to kiss her. Just a soft peck, a press of lips, enough to make her know that he was here. Talsin wanted her to know he was there for her and that nothing they discovered changed that. Unlike her family, he wouldn't judge her for this decision, no he was only proud of her.

"I know how hard it is." Said softly. Family... was there anything more important than that? "But you are doing the right thing... I just wish the right thing wouldn't carve a knife through your soul."

Damn it, Talin.

Damn, you.

She had claimed to have done it for Tansu. How much worse was that? For Tansu to think that her sister was a murderer, because for some ill-advised reasoning Talin believed that is what Tansu would have wanted or needed.

His fingers laced into hers when her hand drifted into his.

"I will do anything to help you. Even calling, yes. And I want you to know, Tan, this isn't your fault. OK? This is on her, she is a grown adult, she made the decisions and no one else."

But his mind flickered to Morrow , that solemn lanky young man had seemed... off to Talsin somehow. He thought well enough of Talin not to assume she was being manipulated into something like that however. Tal hadn't seen the psychometric visions after all. He didn't know Morrow tried to get Jon to murder him.

 

[Tansu Treicolt]

​

They were so different. His family had actually died, he'd felt the deaths of his parents, and he'd been stoic about it. Quiet. She knew it still bothered him, they'd seen it on Coruscant, but he remained strong-jawed about it. And then here she was, her sister fully alive, and Tansu was all wrung out as though she was already gone. That's what she thought of when he kissed her. How silent his sincerity could be.

And it's what she thought of when he talked about her soul. She bore it so openly.

"I know." She murmured. "That's why it hurts so bad."

She drew in a deep breath and pushed herself up to stand. They had to do this now. Before she changed her mind.

Mid-rise, she felt the drift of his mind.

"Oh feth, Morrow!" Hands spread out, gathering Talsin's shoulders in her grip. "When I shook his hand! I — he's bad. He's bad and I want him away from Talin but how? She's enamoured with him. Wrapped up and obsessed."

Eyes squeezed shut, "I don't know if it was before or after Atrisia, but he was with Jon. He said you deserved to be beat to a pulp, and Jon should have gone further. Because you're relentless."

That was probably why Talin hated Talsin. Because Morrow told her to.

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Talsin Lota
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[Talsin Lota]

Tansu Treicolt

He thought they were about to do the... impossible. To start a betrayal that might never fully heal, but then Tansu said something that made him blink and raise his eyebrows a touch.

"What? But why? I hardly know the fellow." Even if Morrow had suggested they met before, it had been such a blip on his radar, while Talsin was focused intently on seeing Tansu win and cheer her on. "I didn't know Jon either, but at least with him, I had been trying to arrest him. In what world would it matter to Morrow?"

Except it made sense in a certain wicked way, didn't it?

And the understanding was starting to dawn there, slowly.

"What do you think would I do... if it meant protecting you and keeping you safe?" Said... just as slowly as that understanding dawned behind his eyes.

 

[Tansu Treicolt]

​

"I don't —" it didn't make much sense to Tansu either, and she had seen the interaction. Not the whole scope of it of course, if she'd lingered too long Morrow might have noticed the faraway look in her eyes that she got during psychometric trips.

Her brow furrowed at Talsin's insinuation. A wave of disorientation washed through her. The thought begged theoretical and imagination when she had little to give of either in the moment. Realization dawned slower on her, the skies of her comprehension still crushed cobalt, devoid of any rising light.

"What you always do?" She asked, not following the threads of his psyche any further. "You're always protectin' me in one way or another ain'tcha?"

It had been a point of contention and hot-angry whispers in the past, what she could do to protect him. She'd isolated him out of a fight before, flung herself into focus so that he could escape. She reckoned he'd do the same for her, despite her disagreement to it.

"Why?"

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Talsin Lota
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[Talsin Lota]

Tansu Treicolt

Nodding there quietly.

"I'd protect you. No matter the cost." Was that true? Would Talsin do anything, even if it broke his code? In the past, the Talsin that preached peace and would never strike first, would have said no. Resolutely. That there were things you could not do, not even to save a loved one, because that would be a betrayal of a different sort.

"She attacked me when I said Jon was a murderer. I thought it was solely to protect him... but that's not it, is it?" Quietly as Talsin watched her. "She felt like I was addressing her personally, when Jon had killed one while she has the blood of so many on her hands."

Tal's hand settled on her shoulder.

"She probably told him.... relentless, that's what he called me in your vision. He knew if I found out about Talin, that I'd want to arrest her to. So... he tried to set Jon against me again, to erase me from the board entirely."

Squeezing softly.

"You worry about him. That he is the bad influence." Eyes on hers calmly. "Might be true, but if we are being honest, we know this has been in your sister for a long... long time, much earlier than Morrow. Don't forget what she did above Coruscant, with no hesitation or consideration."

 

[Tansu Treicolt]

​

She understood and it felt like a punch to the chest.

As much as Tansu might have wanted a normal evening, full of shared laughter and inside jokes, the start of many shared Life Days as family and partners, it would never be. Tonight would have always been a farce. Morrow always would have been someone who looked at Talsin as someone to be eliminated.

"Bad for each other." Was all she could say.

It was worse than the way she'd thought she and Talsin might be bad for each other. The kind of love and relationship that pushed oneself to their worst forms because it was easy to get under skin and send them into a panic attack. The kind of dependency that pushed someone beyond their reason and rationale — like his question, What do you think I would do — felt so much like things she'd heard her father did for his family. A thought she didn't want to press on or explore.

"If that's the case, reporting them will not only be a betrayal of sorts.. it'll open up a can 'o worms that turns into 'im hunting us down in kind." She pressed her fingertips into her lips until it hurt a little.

"I still..I still think we gotta do it. And now."

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Talsin Lota
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[Talsin Lota]

Tansu Treicolt

"I think you're right and I think we should do it together, as you initially said." Sitting down, but pulling her with him. Until they were together in this dreadful moment where the die would be cast.

As agreed... He pulled out the commlink and dialed the number without pressing send immediately.

Instead Talsin leaned in and kissed her cheek softly.

"Together, come what may, always." Only then when given the go ahead from Tansu would Talsin finally hit the button and allow the connection to start establishing.

They were in it now.

He thought she was right. They'd come for them. Maybe not now, or tomorrow, but eventually they would.

Maybe just to try and kill him. Maybe turning against her sister too.

But Talsin had to believe they'd be ready for it.

<< Good evening, Republic Investigative Services, how may I help you? >>

Tal looked up at Tansu and waited for her response.

 

[Tansu Treicolt]

​

"Yeah," she inhaled sharply, wishing she had a smoke right then. Or a glass of that crazy expensive whiskey Talsin seemed to have on-hand in his office at all times. "Together."

Like she kept dragging him into mess after mess. If it weren't for her, how much smoother would his life be?

Certainly not on some kill-list from a psychotic boyfriend of her twin sister.

She bit her lip, feeling culpability spread through her like a black sort of dread. It started with the feeling of responsibility for his wellbeing, and all the tarnishing she did of his golden-Duke life, and then it bled into the weight of her task against her sister.

Tansu cleared her throat and answered the waiting operator. What the youngest Treicolt wanted, and what she had to do, were far enough to be independent variables.

The entire time she spoke, it felt like a spring wound up a quarter turn too tight at the base of her throat. But she managed through it. The description of the crime, the criminals, the confirmation of personnel and the ship they travelled in. Her hand never let go of Talsin's, not when she felt herself sweat, shake, or grip too tight. Her voice seemed not to be her own, strangely steady, despite all her physical limitations and failures.

And when they hung up, she drove her forehead into the warm curve of his neck and juddered out a wet sounding sob.

Much later,
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"Y'know." As usual, it was her voice that broke their pleasant, sleepy silence. "I've been layin' here feeling all sorry for myself. Thinkin' maybe none of this'd'a happened if we'd never left home and — no, no." She rolled over to her side and pushed herself to sit up, firmly pressing her finger to his lips. "Let me finish."

As if he ever didn't.

"And yeah, I mighta still had Talin if we stayed. I mighta not. It's one of those never know typa deals.

But I reckon for sure I never woulda had you." The firmness of her press relinquished, and she softly traced the lines of his mouth and nose. An absent trail of affection while she spoke.

"I never woulda been able to see how seriously strong you are. The way you stand up for your convictions so unapologetically you get your pretty face caved in. And how strong you are to force yerself to get better, strong, learn to walk again, even when your body rejects everythin' good for it. And then how ready you are to strut right back into another situation that knocked you down in the first place just for me, because I want to, need to, and how much you care for Talin to set her right in a way that won't come back and bite her in the ass. I never woulda known how much I love you."

Her volume dropped to a gentle whisper, mostly because she couldn't afford to get choked up and not get through her delivery: "I hope you know that, cowboy. Even in those stupid days apart, I lovedja. I hope you go to sleep knowing that I wouldn't trade a thing, and I love you. And I hope you wake up in the mornin' knowin' the 'xact same truth."

Her fingers brushed the curve of his cheek idly, before they moved to the line of the scar he'd incurred because of her family. "You're the home I'll never leave." A smile. "You're more than enough adventure."

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Talsin Lota
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