Private Veneer Of Business

[Arris Windrun]

ABREGADO-RAE
SAFE ZONE
Lily Rhodes​

Days after the battle...

Arris Windrun could've looked better. With some quick repairs and a synthflesh replacement, she was at least in one piece, but scuffed and damaged. The cyborg sat on a makeshift bench made of two crates and some sheet metal.

Beside her, a handful of Mandalorians were lined up on their knees, helmets removed.

"Prisoners, my Lord?" A Sith officer asked.

Arris wasn't in the mood, if her dead eyes and scowl were anything to go by. "No - kill them all." It didn't take another word before every soldier fired their blaster. Each body thumped. "If you find a Kestran, you kill them! A single bolt to the back of the head! There won't be any prisoners! Is that understood?!" She sat up, leaning forward as she snapped.

She noticed a few of the soldiers picking the bodies apart. "Those aren't trophies," she interjected. "Send the beskar to Mandalore! Put my name on the cargo." Then, muttered. "They'll want their property back..."

She sighed and sat back down, then reached for a cigarette and lit it. Like usual, Arris rolled all of her problems and got high.

Abregado-rae was ugly. Plague still filled the streets. Hell, there was no telling when (or even if) the planet would fully recover. The Sith had to make do by establishing a safe zone around the spaceport. An electrostatic barrier, supported by large pylons, was erected around the perimeter. It kept the sithspawn out... mostly. The screams of civilians could still be heard, along with pockets of fighting - a local resistance. Maybe a few Mandalorians, if any remained. Tyranny still hung in low orbit, visible from below, and a handful of star destroyers flew even lower, patrolling the upper atmosphere.

Arris knew she'd have to confront Mercy about everything that had just happened. For now, the Empress hadn't made an appearance. Whether she was on the dreadnought or elsewhere on the planet, the cyborg wasn't too sure, and honestly, she was glad for the moment. She hadn't yet decided what she was going to say. Was she angry? Bitter? Numb? Those feelings were cyclical lately. But honestly? She wasn't sure she really cared anymore. Abregado-rae was fucked. The easiest thing to do was bury it beneath the veneer of business.

Getting up, Arris flicked the cigarette and started walking. Well away from the firing squads.

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Tags: Arris Windrun​

Devastation stood before her, blood red patches of the plague still pulsed in places among the wreckage of the city. She could still hear screaming, though how much of it was an echo in her head and how much were the last pockets of resistance she didn’t know.

Somewhere the rifles of firing squads cracked, snuffing out more life and Lily flinched, closing her eyes as despair roiled inside her. She hadn’t been able to find Vess Sadragen . She kept telling herself there was another hospital or medical tent somewhere she was in, or that she’d find her with Arris. That small confident smile on her face.

Another crack of fire jolted the thought away.

There was something else that sat with her, something she hadn’t been able to shake since she woke up, it burned in the pit of her stomach. It was darker than rage, uncontainable almost. Maybe it was this place, maybe it was just because she was here, because she could still taste the lingering emotions and thoughts of everyone she had been connected to.

Boots crunched against the ground behind her, Arris' presence moved with them.

But not Vess’s.

Her heart sunk and she lifted her eyes to the sky where the deep red had burned. She could still hear the ticking of cogs, the sound so embedded in her brain she could feel the rattle of it in the base of her skull. A lump formed in her throat, tears blurring her vision for a moment before she blinked them away, reaching instead for that dark something.

It was easier to hold.

She turned to look at Arris as she drew near. Lily herself didn’t look much better than her master. Bacta bandages wrapped her shoulder beneath a torn shirt, black and purple bruises had blossomed across her back and chest beneath her clothes, bacta gel shone in patches on her face, layered over burns rapidly healing beneath it.

There were a thousand things she wanted to say to Arris, to scream at her, but none of them came out.

“You look like shit.”

 

[Arris Windrun]

Lily Rhodes
​

"Not any better than you," Arris replied. "But you're alive."

She kicked a random bit of debris down the road. It clanked against the wreck of a downed fighter; too wrecked to tell which side it had belonged to.

A hundred different thoughts ran through the cyborg's head. First, she wanted to tell Lily she had done a good job. Second, she wished to know where Vess was, but ultimately elected not to ask. Something told her that it was going to be a sore topic. Was her other apprentice injured? Arris wanted to see Vess... wanted to talk to her, too. But honestly, she was having a hard enough time as it was facing Lily.

"Are you done here?" Arris asked.

"I can take you off this world. I know somewhere pretty."

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Tags: Arris Windrun​

For a moment Lily said nothing, because the answer was yes. Yes she was done here, yes she wanted to leave. She wanted to leave and never come back. But without Vess? Without knowing if she was okay? Anxiety gnawed at her and she in turn chewed her lip. If she left...if she left and Vess turned out to still be here? She could come back for her. In and out in the blink of an eye, which Vess would hate, but they'd be out of here...

"Yeah, I'm done here."

Guilt twisted her stomach. "Lets get the fuck out of here."

"Please."

 

[Arris Windrun]

Lily Rhodes
​

Arris didn't need to hear more. Even please was unnecessary.

She took Lily offworld, flying past the Sith fleet and leaving Abregado-rae far behind with the jump to lightspeed. They ended up only a sector away, on a little world called Fennesa. It was home to little more than communities of native herders and a handful of larger ranches, which made a living harvesting meat, wool, and hide from the nerf herds.

The Sith Lord set their ship down on a rocky outcrop, overlooking some shrublands and the foothills. Fennesa was a reminder that some places in the galaxy were ultimately untouched by the wars, but even still, the sector was dangerously close to it.

Arris hobbled down the ramp, stepping out into the cool morning air. Sunrise peeked over the horizon, casting the landscape in a strawberry glow. A pack of large, bipedal avians sprinted across the field, stirring up a small herd of nerfs that ran off in turn.

She couldn't even go that long without having another cigarette. She lit it - the orange glow matching the sky.

If Lily had tried to get anything out of Arris on the flight over, she was met with single-word replies and contemplative silence. Only now that they were planetside again and far away from the conflict did the cyborg finally say anything of substance.

"That was a stupid fight." She said. "I don't understand why people don't learn anymore. First - those Jedi clinging to their enclave on Jakku. For what? To defend some sand? They knew we were coming!" She looked at Lily, her frustration barely contained. "They could have left! But they stayed, and they fought!"

She took an angry drag, casting her eyes back to the field as one of the large birds tackled a nerf. The rest of the pack circled back to share in the kill.

"It's the same with these fucking Mandalorians... They have a fleet! They were on the far corner of the Outer Rim; they should have stayed there!"

Her voice fell a touch quieter. "People die to us because they're irresponsible."

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Tags: Arris Windrun​

Lily was quiet throughout the flight, with every parsec of distance they put between them and Abregado Rae she felt the darkness recede, the noise subsided until there was just herself and the angry hum of the firewall that protected Arris from Lily’s skimming. She found the sound oddly comforting.

Fennesa was beautiful, untouched by the war, it was precisely what she needed. She wondered if Arris knew, or if she also needed the quiet. She followed Arris down slowly, moving to the edge of the rocky outcrop beside the cyborg, her gaze on the horizon watching the sun begin its climb over it.

Arris frustrated tirade rolled over her, and her brow creased.

“Right, because those people asked to be chained together and burned alive. That was exactly what they deserved for trusting the Mandalorians to defend their home.”

She turned to face her, anger bubbling beneath the surface.

“I don’t disagree where the Mandalorian’s are concerned, they’re chasing a grudge that's half a century old, but those people? They didn’t ask for that. I mean, what the fuck even was that?!”

"Why the mental gymnastics, Lily?" His eyes returned to her. "Just own it."

She swore under her breath and looked away, passing a hand over her face. Her gaze settled on the birds now tearing apart their prey.

“This wasn’t what I signed up for, Arris.” she said quietly, “You said the galaxy's greatest heist, that wasn’t a heist, that was…”

The word stuck in her throat, tears welling in her eyes. She looked down at her hands, trembling under the weight of what she’d helped achieve.

“That was genocide.” she whispered.

 

[Arris Windrun]

Lily Rhodes
​

She didn't expect Lily to turn it around on her.

"That was Mercy getting carried away! Like she always does!"

And then Lily reminded Arris of what she said. A heist. Yeah, that's what Arris said. "Genocide?" She repeated the word as a question, then stepped closer to Lily until there was little space between them.

Arris leaned down, quieter still. "Yes, Lily. That was genocide." She took another drag, slowly blowing the smoke into her face. "But you knew we got up to that when you signed up," she turned away from her, raising her voice.

"Or did you think what happened to the Core was an accident?"

She kicked a stone, sending it hurdling down into the shrubland where it impacted with a splash of dirt. The act startled the birds for a moment, and it left Windrun's foot with an indentation.

"Don't fucking play with me." She looked over her shoulder. Her eyes were soft, despite everything. "It got out of hand, and I will handle it." She turned back to the sunrise.

"But please... don't lie to yourself, Lily. Would you really have gotten on that ship with me if you weren't still in the game?"

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Tags: Arris Windrun​

“Mercy?! Like you had no fucking idea what was planned!”

She hated it, she hated that Arris was right.

Of course she’d known, she’d been on Coruscant. That was where this all started. That was where the darkness had truly dug its nails in. And now? Now she would carry Abregado-Rae with her too but its weight was different. On Coruscant she’d been a victim, Abregado…she was a perpetrator.

The force the stone went flying made her flinch and she closed her eyes and took a breath.

“Stars, if another person tells me I’m lying to myself…”

She trailed off, shoving her hands in the pocket. “Yeah, I’m still in this fucked up game.” she said finally, stepping to the outcrop's edge beside her. “I’m still here because you’re the only person who makes me believe that I can more than a fucking nobody, but Arris...”

Lily turned to look at her. “I can’t do that again. I can’t carry that.” She swallowed against the lump in her throat, blinking back the tears. “Death on that scale…I hear all of it.” her voice cracked “Do you know what it’s like, to hear the last thoughts of millions of people?”

Tears began to roll quietly down her cheek.

“Never again, Arris.”

 

[Arris Windrun]

Lily Rhodes
​

Arris stepped quietly, nearing Lily again. She rested a hand on the young woman's shoulder, if she'd allow it.

"I know what it's like to carry death around," she said. "Maybe... Maybe not in the same way that you do..."

She really couldn't understand what Lily meant. The telepathic link didn't escape her, and so Arris assumed that in some way or another, she meant she literally felt it as their final thoughts disappeared.

"But remember what I told you in Hapes?"

"You can't just block it. That'll only fuck you up later... And besides, don't make the same mistake we all do."

"You need to let it happen. When that instinct in the base of your neck tells you to back away, to forget it, to change your mind. Don't. You might feel like it'll destroy you if you let it, but it won't. It'll pass through you; you'll be surprised how easy it passes through you once you just let it."

Her hand squeezed gently. "You're not a nobody, Lily. You can carry it."

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Tags: Arris Windrun

Arris hand was heavy on her shoulder, but Lily’s eyes settled on the cyborg, grief and self loathing rising up like a tidal wave inside her. She tried to find the anger, because anger was easier, anger kept her from drowning but it wasn’t enough.

She shook her head. “I can’t.”

Lily took a step back, eyes wide as she felt it all tighten in her chest, making it harder to breathe as tears continued to flow.

“If I let it…if I feel it, if I truly feel it…I’m gonna lose myself.”

She took another step back, breathing harder now.

“Arris, I can’t.”

 

[Arris Windrun]

Lily Rhodes
​

Arris stepped with her.

"You can," she insisted softly.

And another step with her, never letting the distance grow.

"How can you lose yourself, Lily?" She asked. "Look at me," she squeezed her shoulder tighter, and leaned down a bit so their eyes were perfectly level. "Trust me. It will hurt... It will feel like killing yourself... but you are strong... You can do it. I believe in you."

Her other hand went up to rest on Lily's opposite shoulder, until she had the woman caught between both arms. Arris smiled faintly.

"You're not alone. We'll face this galaxy together, and do everything it takes to survive it."

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Tags: Arris Windrun​

"Look at me,"

"Trust me.

I believe in you."

Lily couldn’t breathe, her hands moved to wrap around Arris’s wrists as she clung to her sobs racking her chest as she continued to shake her head, unable to form words.

"You're not alone. We'll face this galaxy together, and do everything it takes to survive it."

She finally sucked in a breath, the cool morning air felt like fire in her lungs as she drew in another as she closed her eyes. The careful harness she kept everything trapped within dissolved, the darkness she kept pretending wasn’t there, the thing she kept pretending she wasn’t rose.

His body slumped, head rolling away as Lily took a step back breathing hard.

She'd had no choice. He'd given her no choice. It was survival.

Lily let him get within three feet of her before she moved, teleporting behind him as she grasped his mind, no longer threading her way through carefully, but tearing into it as she fed him a little of the nightmare swirling in her own mind and watched him collapse, screaming.

The orange saber flashed again, searing through flesh and bone and removing her head, silencing the noise. Lily watched the body slump one way and the head the other, nausea burning her chest.

She snapped from existence as his blade swung, leaving it to pass through empty air as her amber blade finally hiss back to life, protruding through his chest.

Lily could have said no, she could have walked away, Arris wouldn’t have faulted her for it and yet she didn’t…

Her legs gave way, as all of it rose, all she’d done, all she’d buried was ripped to the surface, anguish seized her, as the dark side swirled with it. All of it growing till it was too much, too much to hold in because how could one person possibly feel so much?

Coruscant, Humbarine, Hapes, Abregado.

All of it she carried with her, every death, every choice she made that led her here.

"What you feel - is you."

Lily screamed.

 

[Arris Windrun]

Lily Rhodes
​

The scream threw Arris back; she fell against a mossy boulder.

In the shrublands below, the Dark Side stirred across the minds of those avian predators. They frenzied, tearing into each other. First, jealousy for the meal they shared, but then it continued just for the sake of violence itself until there was only one survivor, limping away from the slaughtered pack.

Arris rose back up. Something metal snapped as she did - armor that ran the length of her spine.

She stumbled over to Lily, falling onto her knees, and she shuffled on them a little further, until she fell forward with one hand on her arm, and another in the dry grass beside her thigh.

"Look at me," she murmured.

"You're alive, yeah? It doesn't kill you to accept who you are - what you want, what you need, what you do. In fact, it makes you stronger, doesn't it? Because this whole damn galaxy is just pretending... That's why people like us feel broken from the day we first walk. But it's not us," She lowered her head. "It's not us. It's them."

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Tags: Arris Windrun​

Lily's forearms came to rest on the rock, her forehead pressed against the cold stone beneath them, her breathing heavy. Her chest burned as she felt the darkness receding, coming to settle just beneath the surface instead of buried deep within.

She was still crying, but it wasn’t uncontrollable any more, it was just quiet grief as she let everything settle. Arris’s hand on her arm made her lift her head, looking up at the cyborg's pale face with her own tear stained one, her breathing steadying with each moment.

It’s not us.

It was never her, it was always them. They were the ones that expected her to fit into a certain box, they wanted her to behave a certain way, to do certain things. All Lily wanted was to be strong enough that no one could ever put a boot against her throat again. She didn‘t give a shit about titles or carving a slice out of any planet to call hers.

She just wanted power.

Her hand moved over Arris and she gave it a squeeze before lowering onto her side and rolling onto her back to look up at the orange hued sky.

“Fuck,” she breathed passing a hand over her face. “I need a drink.”

 

[Arris Windrun]

Lily Rhodes
​

When Lily squeezed her hand, something rewired in Arris's brain. She had given people some kind of physical affection before, but never received.

All she could think about was the brief time she thought it happened... The most memorable time since her days on Talus, before Rox died.

She held out her hand.

Arris hesitated before her metal hand extended to meet it.

Of course, that had been just another means to an end. This was different. Her instinct was to recoil away, but she didn't. Her hand felt impossibly heavy as Lily squeezed it.

Touch was an odd thing for Arris. It didn't feel the way it did for organics. It was more like an indicator went off inside her skull that her hand met resistance. It measured that resistance, but she couldn't enjoy the simplicity of it.

Only when Lily said she needed a drink did Arris snap out of it.

"Yeah? Bored of this place already? I can try to find us somewhere with a bar..."

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Tags: Arris Windrun​

“Stars, no.”

The answer was quick, the idea of going anywhere near people right now made her feel physically sick. To have to rebuild the mesh of protection around her own mind to prevent the noise skewering her brain. Here, she didn’t need it. Arris’ surface thoughts were protected by the endless hum of a firewall and beyond that there was nothing.

“It’s quiet here. I like it.”

She let the quiet settle, her mind drifting over the battle, finally able to look back at it without feeling like she might drown. Remembering Cruelty , how he had reached out to help her.

“Does Mercy have a twin brother or something she’s been hiding?”

 

[Arris Windrun]

Lily Rhodes
​

She chuckled dryly.

Yeah... Maybe the bar was a bad idea, and Lily wasn't wrong - it was nice where they were, despite the dead animals that now littered the shrubland.

Nice and quiet.

Respite from Abregado-rae.

And then Lily had to go and ruin it by bringing up Mercy.

"What?" Her tone shifted immediately. "Why are we talking about Mercy? I didn't bring you all the way out here to talk about her." Notice how Arris didn't answer the question.

She either didn't understand what Lily meant by the question, didn't process it, or didn't want to answer it.

She gestured to the sunrise that now bloomed fully across the horizon, casting the world in orange-yellow rays.

"I don't want to think about anything back there..." She looked at Lily. "You understand that, right?" Then back to the sunset. "I did what I had to, and now I'm done. Now I'm here. Living one moment at a time - the only way to live."

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Tags: Arris Windrun

Lily finally propped herself up on her elbows to look at Arris properly, bewildered by her reaction and mildly annoyed that she didn’t just answer the question.

“Soooo…” she began, sitting upright and twisting to face her fully, legs crossing beneath her. “Is that like a ‘we’re not talking about it right now’ or ‘we’re not talking about it ever’?”

She could accept not talking about it now, maybe. She could sit on the questions and wait for her to be in a better mood, maybe try again in a day or two.

But not ever?

 

[Arris Windrun]

Lily Rhodes
​

Arris rested her head in her hand.

"I don't know!" Was her immediate reply. Followed by some silence. Then. "I... Look. I can answer questions you want. I just don't..."

She stood up as she trailed off. Slowly. It took a second to catch her bearings before she stretched her cybernetic body and let out a shaky sigh.

"Believe it or not - she and I don't really get personal, yeah?" Arris looked over her shoulder. "When we talk, we talk about business. War. Who in the Covenant should be doing what. Sometimes she'll make a snide comment about the people I'm with. Sometimes I drop a big fucking surprise in her lap, like that Super Star Destroyer... Did you know I commissioned that thing and she didn't even know about it until it was finished?"

There was a bitter smile, then she looked back to the horizon.

"I don't really know how to get personal with people anymore, Lily. I've tried, though. With Kirie, or Nilira... Shit doesn't work out, I guess."

She turned back to face her fully, hands on her hips.

"But Merce? We got personal on Ruusan. We tore each other apart. That's the kind of friendship she and I have... If she and I stop having something else in front of us, I think we might just kill each other."

 

[Lily Rhodes]

Tags: Arris Windrun

Lily could believe it.

Mercy hadn’t exactly been comfortable with her own display of emotions and vulnerability in front of Lily, hell, Lily had expected to be put through a wall before she realised that Mercy was actually trying.

“You do know that’s not a friendship, right? That’s a…” she paused her face, screwing up as she tried to find the right word “That’s more like an alliance of convenience or whatever.” she let out a hollow laugh.

“So fucked up.” she muttered, shaking her head. Not that she was really surprised by any of it.

“Forget I asked, I can find out myself if it makes it easier. And seeing as your advice of ‘stay away and she’ll ignore you.’ isn’t really working for me anyway, I can get the answer about her from her. You don’t have to get personal.”

“But,” she continued, pushing herself to her feet “I’m not Kirie, or Nilira. I’m not Ace either and I’m definitely not Mercy so you can get personal with me. And yeah, I’m gonna call you out on your fucked up shit because if I don’t who will?”

She paused, stuffing her hands in her pockets.

“Us against them, yeah?” She gave a small smile.