Tying Loose Ends

[Roshki Belawiiks]

Location: By the Waterfall on the Jedi Temple Grounds, Ossus

It was a nice day out today. Various avian creatures were chirping, and the river was....not roaring, exactly, but doing more of a soft purr. A breeze blew across my face, tugging gently at my robes as I sat cross-legged on the exact same log which my Master had first sat.

As I waited, I recalled how I'd first been when we had met. I had been arrogant, rude, proud... It made me wince in sympathy for the poor guy. I had been such a brat. I mean, I was still those things, but you had to admit, I was better.

In any case, I was waiting for the Kel Dor to get finished with whatever he was doing so he could meet me here. An odd place to meet, yeah, but I had my reasons. And, again, this place had memories.

I stretched, raising my face up to the sky and letting the sunlight warm me. I had been here for what, 3 years now? Not once in that time had I been back home, to Commenor. To the slums, the grit, the crime, the drugs. I found my mind wandering there now and again, wondering how my former gang was doing. Wondering how my parents were doing, though they probably didn't care about me. Not once since I arrived had they commed me, not even after the Rapture or Rift or whatever folks were calling it. I called it Hell.

While the homesickness had lessened, I still couldn't stop thinking about my homeplanet. That's why I decided I needed to finally get some closure, finally get a move on with my life. I'd already started on the path of addiction recovery, and I was paying more attention to my studies, but I was still lonely here. I wasn't really close to many of the Padawans, and the only Jedi I really spoke to was Double Kay.

Speaking of which, he was late. Scowling, I gave the pretty blue sky an evil squint. Where is he at? I'm the one who's supposed to be late, not him.

[member="Kian Karr"]

 

[Kian Karr]

Kian was crouched in the bushes not far away, a young human girl crouched down next to him. Kian glanced at her and could see she was on the verge of a fit of giggles. She was about 9 now and the last time Roshki had seen her she had practically attacked her to hug her and introduce herself.

"You ready Ana?" Kian asked quietly.

"Yup." She said beaming.

"Go get her." Kian said laughing to himself. Ana didn't need any more permission than that and the young girl broke through the bushes at a full run, targeting Roshki as she sat on the log. Kian rose up behind her and slowly began to follow. Ana leap through the air aiming to collide with Roshki in a big bear hug.

"ROSHKI!!" She yelled giggling, "GOTCHA!"

Kian shook his head as he followed, laughing the whole way. "Sorry Roshki, but Ana and I were working on her saber skills and she decided she had to see you." Kian said clasping his hands behind his back as he approached. He wasn't sure Roshki would remember Ana, the youngling who she had met when Kian and Roshki had first started training together.

"She won't be staying though." Kian said, seriousness in his voice. "She is meeting with a potential master." Kian said flattening out the wrinkles in his robes when he came to a stop at the log.

[member="Roshki Belawiiks"]​

 

[Roshki Belawiiks]

[member="Kian Karr"]

I perked up a bit when I sensed a presence coming. Well, finally! It was about time Karr showed up. But wait, why was there another--

"ROSHKI! GOTCHA!"

As a midget projectile slammed into me, I let out a squawk and fell backwards, my arms instinctively wrapping around the Pipsqueak as my rump met the ground. "Motherkarking son of a bantha! What the kark?!" That was when I looked down into the beaming face of a vaguely familiar girl. Her named started with an "A"...

"Oh, chit! Ana!" I gasped, realising that I should've paid more attention to my mouth. "Gah! Chit!" My hand went to my mouth, and I couldn't help but let out another, "Chit! Gah! Uh, hi there. How are you?" The whole predicament was made more awkward for me by the fact that the munchkin was invading my personal space. Not that she cared -- the whole time I'd been embarrassing myself, she was laughing at my foul language.

"Roshki, what's a 'motherkarker'?" Ana asked through her giggles. That little turd.

"Uh...." I sat up and placed her beside me. "Its an adult word that you can't use in front of other adults until you're grown up," I said quickly. This amused the child greatly, which gave me time to look up at Karr.

"A potential master? I see." My lips were pressed thin, and for some reason I found myself hoping the potential master had an accident. This surprised me -- while Ana had certainly made a lasting impression on me, I barely knew the girl. I really only saw her every now and then, and we barely got to talk. And yet, there was a deep down hope that I...

No. It didn't matter. With a grimace, I stood up, pulling Ana to her feet. "Well, I hope your meeting goes well, Ana. It was nice seeing you again," I said cheerfully with a happiness I didn't quite feel. But I nonetheless masked it from the girl.

Ana embraced me again, and I awkwardly patted her on the back. "It was fun seeing you too, Roshki! I'll have to tell you about my meeting if I see you!"

I gave a small grin. "Sure thing, kiddo. See ya."

"Bye Roshki!" Ana then turned to Karr, giving a quick bow. "Bye Master Karr!" With a quick wave, she took off back towards the Academy. I watched her for a moment, then looked at the Kel Dor.

Not wanting to give him a chance to make any comment on what just happened, I blurted out hastily, "I've been thinking. About Commenor. Did I ever tell you that was where I was born?"

 

[Kian Karr]

Kian watched as Ana ran off. He hoped the meeting would go better this time. She'd met with several potential masters over the last year and none had chosen to take her on. Ana was a bright girl, but her connection to the force was weak and there had been some talk of placing her in the Agricorps....but she had no skill with plants and when Kian had broached the subject, she had been against it. He saw promise in her, but Kian couldn't take on anymore padawans, it would be irresponsible.

Turning back toward Roshki's question, Kian smiled beneath the mask. It was good to see how well Roshki was doing since the events on Alderaan.

"You mentioned it in passing." Kian said, not mentioning that he also had been given her file when they first began training together. While he wasn't fully aware of her past, he was aware of where she had come from.

"Thinking about that shuttle ride?" Kian asked, remembering the promise he'd made her years before. He had told her that he would take her back to Commenor if that is what she had wanted, and while Kian doubted she was planning on leaving the Jedi it was certainly possible that she was homesick. Kian had missed Dorin for some time and still did on occasion. He made a pilgrimage there every once and a while to visit the Baran Do and his family......his family. That was a subject that Kian would need to discuss with Roshki soon. They had progressed far enough in their relationship as student and teacher for her to become aware of the loss of his family.

"My offer stands." Kian said chuckling. "Shall we book the trip?"

[member="Roshki Belawiiks"]​

 

[Roshki Belawiiks]

[member="Kian Karr"]

I grinned at my Master, glad he was thinking on the same lines as I was. It certainly saved a lot of words. It wavered a bit, though, when the thought crossed my mind that he'd used his telepathy. Again.

Nah, he knows I hate when he does that.

...

Right?

Bah. I shouldn't be worried about that at this stage of the game, anyway.

"Definitely, Double Kay. Can't wait to show you my home, finally!"

------ 8 days later ------​

​

​

​

I gripped my bag tightly as we walked off the shuttle, the loud clamour of aliens, droids, ships, and the entire planet assaulted my ears. I took a deep breath, revelling in the urbana of it all. Despite the bad memories here, there were good ones, too, and no matter what this would be my home.

A sudden thought occurred to me, and I turned to speak to Karr. "Now, I need you to understand a few things, Master," I started, my tone making it clear how important to me this was. "First, I want to go visit my old gang before we see my parents. The black light sector is closer, and it's not like my parents know anyone down there." The other reason, the one I didn't tell him, was that I dreaded seeing my parents again. The old hags hadn't messaged me at all since dropping me off at the Temple, leaving me to believe they'd forgotten about me. I guess I was just afraid of proving myself right.

"And... it would be best if you follow my lead on this trip, but one thing you have to understand is....the old me, the one who first arrived at the Jedi, was not a pretty one. Even by the time we met, I was starting to change, if a little." My hand went to the back of my head, rubbing my montrals awkwardly. "I was certainly no angel, that's for sure. So just, just keep that in mind, alright? And don't judge my friends too harshly -- well, Geezer's just a downright arse anyway, but the rest aren't too bad, once you get to know them. Alright?" I really hoped Karr would get what I was saying.

I knew that the Jedi Shadows got their hands dirty a lot (hello, I broke into the Supreme Commander's office!), but this was my territory, specifically. Even if it'd been two, three years, I knew my way around. And I knew that, deep down, I could still fit in enough to remain unnoticed. But I didn't want the Kel Dor, skilled though he may be, to get us shot.

"I mean, it's not like I don't have faith in you, but... You know."

 

[Kian Karr]

A sideways smile would creep across Kian's face, hidden by his mask at Roshki's words. She really had no faith in him with regards to life on the street. It was true, Kian's life on Dorin had been remarkably sheltered from the street, growing up among the Baran Do sages and all. However, he had spent some time wandering the galaxy before coming to the Jedi, and even if he hadn't, Kian's work with the Shadows had taken him into many a slum. Kian certainly didn't have all the tricks up his sleeve that someone who grew up there would have, but he wasn't going to stumble around like some fool.

As this thought when through his head, Kian turned to address the issue when a young, human boy bumped into him as he walked by.

"Excuse me." The boy said, sound sheepish. Kian's right hand shot out and grasped the boy from the shoulder and spun him around to face him, a sharp, taloned finger pointing at the boys face.

"That doesn't belong to you." Kian said, making his voice sound deeper, more menacing than it normally did. For a moment it looked like the boy would play dumb, but there was a healthy enough amount of fear in his eyes. After a second of silence, the young man pulled Kian's credit chip bag out of his pocket and placed it back into Kian's hand. Kian reached in, pulled out a credit and dropped it into the boys hand, then spun him away and shoved him off into the crowd without a word.

Kian turned back to Roshki and placed the credit chips back on his utility belt, pulling his cloak tight around him.

"Where too?" Kian asked, trying not to sound smug but failing miserably.

[member="Roshki Belawiiks"]​

 

[Roshki Belawiiks]

[member="Kian Karr"]

I rolled my eyes at the whole scene. Clearly, my little speech had sunk in -- and a little of myself had rubbed off.

"Yeah, yeah, alright, old man -- you can handle a little pickpocket. But just wait until we get to the worse areas." I shook my head before making a lazy gesture to the upper left. "Like I said, we're going to the Black Light Sector."

I explained to Karr that the Black Light Sector was an area of Chasin City which was rife with lowlifes. Funny enough, it also sat practically in the middle of the city, giving no end of headaches for the tourism industry. The locals all called it the Black Light Sector because the grime from the hazardous chemicals, grit, and smoke left a grime on a lot of the lights and windows, leaving it a dark and dirty area. Once, long ago, it had been the place for the rich folks, but as the city expanded, the business moved further away from the heart, and only the carcasses remained. There'd been a few times when Commenor historical societies and whatnot had tried to clean up the place, as many of the original buildings left over from some asteroid strike or whatever were still there. The only problem was, the thieves and vandals kept draining money out of the projects by stealing or destroying equipment. Eventually, the "better" citizens threw their hands in the air and gave up.

"It's not as bad as Nar Shaddaa, but it certainly gives that planet a run for its money on some days," I told him.

I led the Kel Dor through the crowds, keeping my head down and doing my best to not stand out. As we walked, the houses and buildings slowly became shabbier, signalling our approach to the BLS. My hand automatically went to a small blaster I'd "borrowed" from a passenger on the shuttle. "Try to refrain from using a lightsaber, will ya? Jedi and Sith don't have the greatest PR down here, and waving around a lightsaber will attract unwanted attention -- but you probably already know that."

Even though I hadn't meant to, I felt myself shift into-- well, not my old self, but someone similar enough to pass. It wasn't entirely my fault, though. The sector simply brought out that side of me, the side who knew how to stay alive. Like I said, there were good memories and bad memories. "If we pass by my old place, I wanna swing in there and see what's left to take back." I paused. "Oh, and if anyone asks, I was sent away to some ritzy rehab centre, and you're the guy who helped me escape -- and now I'm bringing you here to see if I can get you a score -- and make my parents pay." It wasn't the greatest lie in the world, but how else could I explain away two and a half years?

 

[Kian Karr]

Kian's grey hood was up, and he was projecting, into the force, a feeling of non-entity. Many people found themselves not even noticing him or, if they did, forgetting what he looked like immediately afterward. Not an easy thing to do given that Kel Dor were not often seen. When Roshki mentioned their cover, a smile covered his face. Hadn't she been the the one to mock the cover story the Shadows had come up with her for their last mission together. Kian thought about making a comment to this effect, but pushed the thought aside after glancing over at the girl.

She seemed nervous.....worried about this meeting between her friends and Kian. He understood the concern. The conflict that could arise in the collide of past and present loyalties. Kian grunted in response, squaring his shoulders and projecting into the force a slight air of intimidation instead. If he was the sort of individual who would help break someone out and then expect payment, he should work on making it seem that way. Kel Dor had the intimidation factor already available too them by their appearance, it only made sense to work with what you were given by nature.

"I wasn't really planning on fighting." Kian said, his voice deep and slow. "How does it feel to be home?"

Kian asked and watched her out of the corner of his goggles. Kian knew this would be a stressful time for her and he meant to make it as relaxing as possible.....assuming circumstances would permit. But even if it got out of hand, he would be there to help her.

[member="Roshki Belawiiks"]​

 

[Roshki Belawiiks]

[member="Kian Karr"]

For once, I didn't feel like being sarcastic. I felt like being honest.

"You wanna know the truth?" I asked rhetorically, rubbing my forearms. "It's scary. I've been gone for almost three years. Three. That's a helluva long time for folks like-- well, like I used to be. Hell, it's a long time for me, too. And that's more than enough time for things to change. Just look at me." A dry, humourless snort escaped me. "I don't know if everyone from my group will be dead, or if they've gone clean, or if they're the same, or--" Or if for some, irrational reason they blamed me for leaving them, for abandoning them, and that blame had eventually turned into hate. But I didn't say that. "Or if they won't even recognize me. I think that'd be the worst, if they didn't even know what I was. But it'd be the best, too, I think." I didn't even want to mention how I felt about my parents. Karr was a good Master and a great friend, but I didn't think he'd understand.

I took a deep breath, prepared to say more, but I stopped. Halting my feet, I looked up briefly before turning to the Kel Dor and making a broad gesture. "Welcome," I said, "to the Black Light Sector."

​

Bar a couple of slight changes, everything looked the same as when my parents had dragged me away. In spite of myself, I grinned a little. This place, for all it was worth, had been more of a home than my parents' house. I hadn't realised until now just how much I'd missed the trash, the chaos, the graffiti...even the smell of noxious fumes. Though I wanted to, I refrained from inhaling too deeply; I may have been gone for a while, but I wasn't a complete, blubbering idiot.

Reaching out, I tugged sharply on Karr's sleeve. "Let's go look for some of my old haunts." As an afterthought, I added, "And, as much as you want to help them, ignore the beggars. The ones that aren't alcoholics are druggies, and they just use your credits for getting more." I smirked at him. "Unlike that little boy who you scared the poodoo out of."

 

[Kian Karr]

Kian listened patiently as Roshki talked about the changes that had occurred in her and the changes she wondered about in her group of friends. He could understand, to a degree, what she was going through. When Kian had returned to Dorin after many years away, he wondered what the Baran Do would think of him. Sure, they certainly weren't a street gang, but they were the people who knew him the best in the world, save for a handful of Jedi. He had been worried about how he would appear to them after so long gone.....and what he had found was that it didn't matter to them. They were his friends.....true friends. And if these people were truly Roshki's friends, they wouldn't hold her changes against her.

Kian wanted to say all this.

But he didn't.

Kian felt like this was something that Roshki would need to discover on her own. He was here for the ride and to help her when and if she wanted it. When Roshki made mention of them, Kian glanced at some of the beggars who were half-conscious on the curbs of the streets. Kian had seen places like this before and been around people like this.....hell some of his best informants were those who were desperate for their next fix. Kian wished he could help, wished he could do something that would break the hold of the drugs on the poor souls in front of him.....but he couldn't. This was a journey of discover that they had to make on their own. You couldn't cure someone of this, they had to cure themselves. Just as Roshki had or was at least working on.

"Didn't think I could be that scary, huh?" Kian asked, a hint of a smile in his voice. "Besides, why would I want to help anyone.....I'm just a thug who wants to get paid for helping you escape, remember?" Kian said and wished his goggles hadn't hid the roll of his eyes.

"Who runs things down here?" Kian asked, meaning to have a better understanding of the place. "Any particular gangs hold power?" Kian asked, wondering if Roshki still knew. Turf wars were not unheard of in places like this, with rival gangs vying for power and a hold over every decrepit back alley.

[member="Roshki Belawiiks"]​

 

[Roshki Belawiiks]

[member="Kian Karr"]

I gave a half-grin at his remark, though my nerves were still kinda jittery. "Just remember, you said it, not me."

He then asked about gangs, and I had to think for a moment. "Well, las time I was here, there were four major gangs: The Green Goblins (Idiots, all of 'em), The Manhunters (hit men and organ harvesters, ew), COA (Children of Anarchy, but everyone called them Crabby Old A-holes behind their back), and The Devils." I swallowed after listing the last one, before continuing. "Each one holds a portion of territory within the Black Light Sector. Now, don't get me wrong, there's a few other smaller, less important groups who have territory, but their slices are so small the big wigs don't see them as a threat.

"On top of that, you have small gangs which reside in the biggun's turf, but so long as they pay a fee to the head honcho, they're left alone." I frowned for a moment, becoming serious. "My friends, we... We lived in the Devils' turf, but..." I couldn't help but hesitate, wondering how much I should share with my Master. I mean, up til now he'd been pretty accepting, but everyone had their limit, right? And unfortunately for me, I didn't know his limit.

Ah, hell. I'd already warned him my past wasn't pretty. There was no going back now.

The gears in my head whirred a bit as I tried to figure out how to explain to to an outsider. "Gimme a moment, here." Rubbing my hands together, I made an attempt. "You know how I mentioned that smaller gangs could pay a small fee, almost like rent, in order to have protection and a place to stay? Well, that's what we had with the Devils. We would go to the ritzy areas in the city, rob a few places here and there, and then give a percentage to them. In turn, they'd leave us alone, maybe even turn around and sell us some of our, ah, special somethin's so we didn't have to go lookin' for it.

"But sometimes...sometimes they'd come to us, and ask us to get somethin' from one of their rivals. Don't get me wrong -- we were far from being A-grade professionals, but we knew how to be discrete. Plus, I figured, if we got caught, they wouldn't have to take the fall." We were further in the sector; a shock of deja vu travelled through me when I realised we were close to where my friends hung out. But I kept talking. "I didn't mind doing the low grade stuff, or taking from the rich snobs, but some of the stuff made me shudder. Problem was, we couldn't protest. If we did, we were killed." I winced. "But I'm just a thief! That's all we were. I was just lucky that I was able to remain a thief. Well, and a druggie. But still."

Up ahead was a flashing neon sign proclaiming the name, "Nerf's Gambit." I jerked my chin at it. "Let's go there." With luck, our search would be cut short. Talking about the gangs had made me feel, well, glum, and I was looking forward to getting outta here.

 

[Kian Karr]

Kian nodded along with Roshki's words as she described the circumstances under which they worked for the local gangs. It always started small, expecting small favors or jobs and then slowly building upon the severity of the tasks being assigned. Eventually you were in too far to back out and not face some tough repercussions.

"Once your in, its hard to get out." Kian said shaking his head. "Its why organizations like that start small and build in what they ask of you. Had they asked you to break some major laws right off the bat, you would likely have been less likely to do it.....instead they lure you in like a fish on a line." Kian said, voicing his opinion on such things. "Spice dealers do the same thing," Kian said responding to her reference to her former drug abuse, "they give you a little taste for free....then when you get a taste for it and can't seem to go without.....they start charging."

Kian saw the sign for the Nerf's Gambit cantina and smiled. Kian liked places like this.....there was an honesty about it, even amidst the vast horde of thieves and liars.

"Looks like my kind of place." Kian said, folding his arms across his chest as they approached.

[member="Roshki Belawiiks"]​

 

[Roshki Belawiiks]

[member="Kian Karr"]

My eyes went skyward, not out of annoyance with my Master, but out of bitter remembrance. His words, as usual, struck home. "Don't I know it," I muttered quietly, both to his uncanny summarization of the situation, and his comment about the cantina. A joke, and an affirmation.

I would've snickered if the situation was different.

We made our way into the smoky gloom of the cantina, the air filled with noxious fumes from various drugs, the low murmuring of folks making illicit deals, and the clank of glasses that could use another wash or twelve. In the corner, on the jukebox, a song was playing. I stopped for a second in the doorway, head tilted as a jolt of recognition travelled through me.

The song that played was old -- and I mean old. The folks who'd originally sung it were long gone and forgotten, but there was only one person I knew who insisted it be played, much to the chagrin of the rest of us.

"Ah, chit," I muttered, my eyes finding who I was looking for. Without another word, I slipped through the tables before stopping behind a green Rodian playing cards. He didn't notice my crossarmed stance, but his friends did.

"Uh, Smeego--"

"Shut it you pansy!" The Rodian snickered, throwing down his cards. "I win again!"

"Smeego, look--"

"Cheating again, Smeego? Where are the others at?"

"Wahh!" The Rodian jumped out of his seat and whirled around, his bulbous eyes getting even bigger when he realised who it was.

I hated Smeego, and with good reason. He was a slimy git who was only in it for himself, and the only reason Geezer ever tolerated him was the fact that he always seemed to know things. But I had never seen him away from the safety of the group, and his cocky arrogance was giving me a bad feeling about things.

Plus, I had a suspicion that I'd never been able to confirm before now. "I'll ask again. Where are the others?"

"Roshki! Ross! Ah hah hah, it's wonderful to see you again! You look well! Real well! It's been so long! I--"

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. Even if I wasn't Force Sensitive, I'd have already figured out my answer. "Smeego, shut the hell up. I already know you're the one who took in the reward from my folks to find me. Now answer my question, dammit!"

But like the weasel he was, Smeego once again avoided my question. "Who's the scary-looking Kel Dor with you, Ross? I ain't seen him before." The wheedling voice and continuous dodging was not endearing the Rodian to me, and I was very close to breaking all the rules and just decapitating the git here and now.

Instead, though, I gestured for Karr to join me if he already hadn't, and said to him, "Go ahead and introduce yourself. You're a big boy."

 

[Kian Karr]

Kian listened quietly while [member="Roshki Belawiiks"] and the Rodian named Smeego discussed her friends. Kian didn't know the story, but he could sense the tension between the two and when Roshki made the statement about her parents, Kian realized that Smeego wasn't really included in her list of "old friends" who she had wished to see. Still, the tone of the discussion had Kian thinking that there was more at stake here than just hurt feelings about being betrayed. Smeego had done something more perhaps.....something worse.

When Roshki turned to Kian, he inclined his head and stepped forward, grasping the Rodian around the color and lifting him out of his chair. Leaning in closed, Kian put his antiox mask a few inches away from the man's face, taking a deep, exaggerated raspy breath.

"My friend asked you a question." Kian said, deepening his voice even more to add to the intimidation factor. It was clear that Roshki wanted answers, and she had told Kian not to act like a Jedi down here and Kian was merely playing the part. If it aided in getting answers for his apprentice....all the better reason.

Besides, Kian knew men like Smeego, he knew their quality and the fact that they would sell out anyone for the right price. Kian had spent a great deal of time getting information out of men like him, and even more time avoiding them. They were not to be trusted.....but had their uses on occasion.

 

[Roshki Belawiiks]

[member="Kian Karr"]

Smeego shut up instantly, blood draining from his face as Karr held on to his collar. The ferocity of the Kel Dor's manner threw me for a loop, and I had to take a few seconds to recuperate. However, it did not take long for me to slip back into my own roll, and I grinned nastily at the Rodian. "And you better answer it now, else I can't guarantee what happens next."

That was the straw that broke the bantha's back. "Fine! Fine. I'll tell you what you know!" Smeego relented with an audible gulp. Still gripping fearfully onto Karr's wrist, the Rodian's wide, starry eyes met mine, then looked away. The folks at the table had already left, so it was just us -- bar a few patrons who were too drunk or too amoral to care.

"R-right after you, ah, left, Ross, the Devils gave our group another job--"

"My group, not ours," I snarled. "You never belonged, and Geezer should have never kept you!" I wanted to punch him, not only because he was annoying, but because I was suddenly very, very afraid of what the Rodian was going to say.

Smeego, meanwhile, gulped again before continuing. "A-as I was saying, your group got a job. High-risk, s-some bank or whatever. The Devils were wanting t-to step up their game, become more l-like the Red Ravens o-or the Black Sun. Th-the Devils even supplied the heat. They w-were just supposed to get in, b-break the safes, a-and leave."

"So what happened?"

For a moment, Smeego forgot where he was and gave me a dirty look. "I'm getting there! Anyway, some informant in the Devils caught wind of it and took it to the feds. They busted 'em up bad -- hardly anyone got out."

I stood there, my hands curling and uncurling. My heart, meanwhile, had reached my feet as I absorbed the information. I couldn't believe it -- my friends had been either killed or incarcerated, and I didn't know who to blame. Myself? For not being there? I'd remembered having a bad feeling, right before the Jedi had come to pick me up, but I'd chalked it up to my craving and being forced to go somewhere I didn't want to go. Smeego, then? No -- why report to the Feds? He had it good enough with the Devils, and us. Then again...remember my comment on him knowing things? What if he was the informant?

My head spinning round and round, I clawed my way to the last question. "You said 'hardly anyone' made it out -- that means some did. Who survived, Smeego? And where can I find them?"

The Rodian shrugged, or tried to. Karr was still holding onto his collar. "Puck and Tootsie, far as I remember. Geezer was killed at the bank, along with Nimo and Sun Li. Boulder and Tyruze were injured, but only Tyruze survived; Boulder died in the hospital, and Tyruze was incarcerated for life, no parole." He paused for a moment, his eyes scrunched up. "Puck an' Tootsie escaped with me in the getaway car, but I dunno where they were. I ditched 'em about six blocks away."

My knees felt weak. My group, decimated...My friends, my adopted family, gone... I wanted to scream at the Rodian, to yell at him for lying to me -- but even without the Force I could tell he spoke the truth. Even so, a feeling of rage began to build up inside me, and my fingers reached for the hidden blaster....when suddenly, I was at another place, in another time, with another Rodian. My anger dissipated, but I still needed to punch something.

So I punched Smeego.

Ignoring his cries of protest, I shook my hand and looked at my Master. "We're done here," I told him, more than willing to follow him out. I want to go to Boulder and Nimo's place, I said in my mind, hoping that this wouldn't be the one time Karr decided to not eavesdrop in my head. I want to go there and see if I can find anything to...to remember them by.

 

[Kian Karr]

Kian turned to watch Roshki's reactions as the slimy Rodian told her the story of her friends death. It seemed that Roshki had gotten out of the group at the perfect time. What would have happened had Roshki still been amidst her friends when the order came to hit the bank? Would she have been the person to turn the tide and have the job go without incident or would she have fallen with the others? Kian doubted that her presence would have changed things much......especially as if she'd stayed she would still be using.

Then she hauled off and punched the Rodian who slumped in Kian's hands momentarily, stunned by the blow. Kian, smiling beneath his mask, released his grip on the Rodian and allowed him to stumble backwards, falling backwards onto the table which gave way and splintered. As Smeego collided with the floor, Kian was already turning to follow Roshki from the place. He felt the familiar touch of her mind to his own and he opened his mind up so that the communication would be effortless.

Lead the way Roshki. Kian said via the telepathic bond. I'm with you. Kian said wanting the young girl to know that he was going to go wherever she needed to go. We can talk if you'd like. Kian said, wanting her to know that she didn't have to hold it in. He could only imagine what was going on in her mind....Kian had lost as well and knew all too well the feelings she was struggling with.

[member="Roshki Belawiiks"]​

 

[Roshki Belawiiks]

[member="Kian Karr"]

I heard his reply in my head, not for the first time thankful for his presence. I had few true friends at the Academy, and here it seemed I had even less. Thus, I counted my blessings.

But I was not ready to talk, not yet. Eventually? Yes. But if I started to talk...Well, I didn't think I could continue. "Thanks, but not now," I said aloud. There was after all, only so much thinking I could handle. (Yeah...that didn't come out right, but kark it. I knew what I meant and I was sticking with it.) "If I stop to think, if I pause for just one second to...to let that sink in, I won't be able to hold up." It was true. Like the incident with Hell and what happened after, like the bad memories of my former life, I was pushing it aside, out of the light, out of sight, and out of mind. I had to keep pushing it away, to avoid letting it escape, or else I would lose focus of my goals.

"When all of this is done, we'll talk. But I can't...if I dwell on it, I may break down." I looked up, my face grim. "And here is not the place for it." I braced myself for any philosophical or Jedi-y stuff from my Master on loss and how it was necessary to let things free, and let them go. Don't get me wrong, Karr was a darn tootin' good Master, but he'd still been with the Jedi for like, ever.

I frowned lightly, my mind latching on to this new subject as we weaved our way through the crowds. I never actually recalled Karr mentioning anything about his childhood; my assumption had always been, well, that he'd pretty much sprung forth a Jedi Master already. Now, obviously, that wasn't exactly right, but that was my general feeling.

Glad to have something different to think about, I turned to look at the Kel Dor. "Hey, it occurred to me that you know way more about me than I do you." Moving out of the way of a vendor, I nudged my Master lightly. "You never did tell me about your youngling days at the Temple. And I think we can agree on the fact that I, as your Padawan, am probably overdue for a 'When I was your age...' story. Amiright, or amiright?"

 

[Kian Karr]

Kian listened to his padawan's words and didn't push the issue. He knew her well enough now to know that when she was ready, and only when she was ready, would she want to open up about it. Besides, as she had indicated, now was perhaps not the time or place. Then Roshki asked Kian about his past....and Kian had to take a moment to consider things. He had shared so little of himself with his padawan and that wasn't right, given all she'd shared with him. But Kian had always found it difficult to speak of his past and had only opened up to three other people. Jedi Grandmaster Corvus Raaf, Jedi Master Kana Truden, and his former padawan Varus Shatterstar.

"I was never a youngling.....at least not among the Jedi." Kian said smiling as they walked. "I didn't join the Jedi until I was your age, before that I lived on Dorin and was a member of the Baran Do Sages." Kian said remembering fondly his time with those monks. "The Sages are a force tradition dating back to the earliest days of Dorin. We are far less martial than the Jedi. Much of my time there was spent meditating and learning the intricacies of the force. Some basic wooden staff fighting at times, but combat really wasn't a focus." Kian admitted and had to acknowledge the differences between the Order of his birth and the one he served now.

"I left Dorin....for personnel reasons," Kian said, not sure if the comment would draw more attention from the padawan, "and wandered the galaxy for a year and a half before coming to the Jedi. Then I was apprenticed under Jedi Master Talon Vosra." Kian said, remembering the man fondly. "He eventually left the Order, but not until after he trained me to Knighthood."

[member="Roshki Belawiiks"]​

 

[Roshki Belawiiks]

[member="Kian Karr"]

It surprised me that Karr hadn't grown up with the Jedi, and for a moment I felt guilty about not noticing sooner...But then I recalled the fact that I never had any encounter with the Jedi before then. So I wouldn't really know the difference. Duh.

My little self-consolation session over, I listened to the rest of what Double Kay had to say. "I remember reading about them, when I was looking up Dorin. No wonder you always act so sagelike and mystical." I gave him a quick, cheeky grin which faded a bit when he got to the part about him leaving.

Personal reasons, huh? I wondered, briefly, if his reasons were akin to what happened to me. Peering at him closely, I asked, "What were your reasons? If you don't mind me asking." That was the beauty of this bond I had formed with Karr. We respected each others' boundaries, but we didn't ignore each other completely. And, just as I eventually opened up to him, I knew that he too would open up to me. Eventually.

Besides, I was extremely curious and wanted to keep my mind off stuff as much as possible.

 

[Kian Karr]

As they made their way toward the house of her friends, Kian considered the question. What were his reasons? Slowing for a moment, Kian turned his head toward Roshki and considered his options. She had shared so much with him, would it be right to hold back now? And why was he considering holding back at all. It was a painful memory, but one that Kian had come to terms with over his many years with the Jedi.

No, she deserved to know. He had told Varus when the time had been right and it was certainly the right time to tell Roshki now.

"Its a long story, so bear with him." Kian said smiling beneath his mask and clasping his hands behind his back. "I never planned on joining the Jedi, Roshki." Kian said telling the truth. His plans had always been to stay on Dorin among the Sages. "I had a life there.....I had a family."

"When I was a boy I met a girl named Aria. We cared for each other and over time that care grew to love." Kian said, his voice taking on that reminiscent tone. "When we turned 17, we decided to get married and settle down. I had finished my initial training among the Sages and was a full-fledged member of the Order and life on Dorin can be difficult so young marriage isn't all that uncommon."

"We were happy and for several years I continued to advance among the Baran Do and she continued her work in the local government. Then she told me I would be a father." Kian said, pride now brimming his voice. "I thought I had it all.....but then the baby came early.....too early."

"Aria died in childbirth and the baby, a boy I named Plo, a few days later." Kian said and got quiet for a moment as the passed a small group of beggars. Kian pulled a few credit chips out and dropped them into the men's hands as they kept walking. "I couldn't stay on Dorin after that.....I was very angry."

"I felt that life had cheated me and for a time I wandered the galaxy getting into trouble here and there and just doing nothing with my life. Eventually I grew tired of that....and I learned to let go. I went to the Jedi for training and haven't looked back since." Kian said letting out a long, deep breath.

[member="Roshki Belawiiks"]​