Private To Fear the Future

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons:
Tag: Briana Sal-Soren

Gatz had hoped that a shower might clear his head, and wash away his fear. He'd been wrong.

The vision lingered in his mind, playing over and over again. It was vivid, almost unnaturally so: even now, he could describe it down to the very last detail. Gatz experienced nightmares on a near nightly basis, but never before had he been able to recall one with such accuracy. Never had one felt so... real.

That was why he was certain that it was no dream at all.

But worse than the dream itself, was the fact that what the Other said was coming true. Here he was, briskly making his way through the Jedi Temple in the middle of the night, in only a t-shirt, flannel sweats, and slippers. Here he was, on his way to Briana's door, with fear compounding in his heart with every step. And yet he couldn't stop himself. He knew he was only furthering the chance of this future becoming reality, but he marched for his friend's room anyways.

But what else was there to do? Who else could he turn to? Who would better understand than Briana, who experienced visions herself?

And who understood him better than Briana, who'd spent months with his mind bleeding into hers?

Even now—strangled by his own terror, and with the understanding that he was doing exactly what his vision had told him he would—going to Briana felt like the only thing to do. The mind meld was severed, and they were both better off for it. But the Force still flowed as strongly between them as ever. Was that a residual side effect of the meld, still lingering? Or was that the reason the meld happened in the first place?

Gatz didn't know. Didn't care. He was just thankful for it; thankful that he could feel her presence, no matter where she was in the Temple. It was the only reason he knew that she was in her room—the only reason he could pinpoint her room in the first place.

And then he was there, standing outside the door. Fear almost compelled him to pound on the frame. Guilt almost compelled him to walk away. He needed to talk to her... and yet, it was really late. Couldn't it wait until morning? But... he wouldn't sleep tonight if he didn't do this now. But didn't she deserve her sleep? She only had three students to train, a terrorist cell to deal with, a cousin who'd had her arm lopped off by said terrorist cell, and a brother who was being a dipshit.

He should just walk away. Except... if she was up, then she already knew that he was at her door. And it would be pretty weird of him to just stand outside her door for three minutes, doing nothing, only to walk away...

Gatz knocked lightly before he lost his nerve.

"Rich Girl," he hated the tremor in his voice, "I know it's late, and I'm sorry, but are you awake? I... I really need to talk to you."

 

[Briana Sal-Soren]

Wearing: XoXo | Equipment: Lightsaber | Location: Coruscant, Jedi Temple | Tag: Gatz Derrevar​

Briana's room at the temple was normally empty. Being in one place for longer than a few days was a luxury she seldom indulged, having become something of a nomad these days. Not by whimsical choice, but by the inexorable pull of duty. Juggling the demands of mentoring padawans, fulfilling her familial responsibilities, and lending a hand to Lossa in managing the Enclave's affairs, left Briana with precious little time to actually stay still.

Truth be told, stillness was a concept she'd never fully learned to enjoy or appreciate. From the first breaths of her youth, she'd been a force unto herself, a maelstrom that burned with undimmed fervor, a perpetual dynamo. While others usually found it wearisome, Briana not only endured, but flourished.

Yet, tonight was different. Weeks of traveling back and forth seemed to have finally caught up to the young Jedi woman.

Slumped over her desk, amidst various holocrons, scrolls, and datapads, a wave of fatigue beset her. For the first time in what felt like an age, Briana Sal-Soren was forced to wind down, drawn into the embrace of a deep, uncharted slumber. When she woke, it was to the sound of pounding at her door.

Surprised, Briana sprang upright, pulling a lengthy strand of hair from her mouth and wiping away the remnants of dried saliva that clung to her cheek. To say she looked disheveled was probably a vast understatement.

Her dark hair that was normally well groomed and braided, cascaded wildly around her shoulders like a lions mane, the unruly curls knotted here and there. Dark streaks of mascara goop had become smeared across the apples of her cheeks and around her eyes, evoking the appearance of one of those black-eyed Raycon creatures that she'd seen from Ukatis.

"Just a moment," She mumbled through her weariness, moving to rub away the residual sleep from her eyes before thinking better of it, sparing her already sullied appearance from any further smearing.

Upon reaching the door, Briana's attempt to tame her unruly hair proved futile, and her attire bore the wrinkles of unrest. A splash of water managed to cleanse some of the mascara away, yet her appearance wasn't even close to decent. Had she not sensed Gatz's presence on the other side, she might have ignored the summons altogether to spare herself the indignity of being seen in such an unpresentable state.

Yet, for one of her friends, Briana had always determined that no door would ever remain unanswered. With a press on her keypad, the door slid open. "There'd better be some kind of galactic crisis to warrant you being here this early in the morning, Derrevar." she yawned, a tired smirk tugging at the corners of her lips as she beckoned him inside. "Well? Don't just stand there. Come in, I'll put some tea on for us."

​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons:
Tag: Briana Sal-Soren

For a brief moment there was nothing: no echo of her voice, no shuffle, no bump—not a sound from Briana's room. And for that brief moment, Gatz contemplated stepping away from the door. Conflict brewed within him: one part needing his friend, the other part wanting to leave her be, but both halves knew this was a selfish endeavor. Both halves knew that Briana really couldn't shoulder yet another burden.

Both halves knew that Briana would help anyways.

But then she called out from behind the door, voice too muffled for Gatz to pick up on how drowsy it was, and his fate was sealed.

The door slid open a minute later, and Gatz was greeted with a sight he'd never seen before: Briana, without cosmetics, and without grooming. Once upon a time, he'd been a vain and shallow man. And that man would have made a face, and probably a rude comment. But whoever he was now was beyond that, apparently, because he found more beauty in a bedraggled Briana Sal-Soren, not less.

But more important than her appearance itself, was that she'd answered the door for him in this state. Gatz understood Briana. She was a prideful woman, and though he'd never get her to admit it, she was just as vain about her appearance as he was. She'd let him see her like this anyways. And sure, this was way less intimate and less embarrassing than sharing grey matter, but she'd allowed him this sight all the same.

She trusted him as much as he trusted her, Gatz realized. It was a genuine surprise, and one that he couldn't keep from crossing his visage. And suddenly, Gatz felt foolish for avoiding asking her for help for so long.

"You look like you stuck your head in a blender, and you still look good. That's so unfair."

He should have been way too frazzled to make jokes. He should have been too tired, lacking sleep and nutrition as he had been for a month. But just seeing Briana put him at ease. A lot of the time it was hard, even here in the heart of the Jedi Temple, to remember that he wasn't alone. But when he was struggling and failing in his training as he was, and not getting the help he needed, how else was he supposed to feel?

"There'd better be some kind of galactic crisis to warrant you being here this early in the morning, Derrevar." she yawned, a tired smirk tugging at the corners of her lips as she beckoned him inside. "Well? Don't just stand there. Come in, I'll put some tea on for us."

Gatz set those thoughts aside for now, as Briana invited him in. He thought to poke fun at the idea of her making tea, wondering if she was even capable of boiling water, considering the way she'd been raised. But then he thought better of it: if he wanted her help, he probably shouldn't poke fun at her too much.

"I know it's late. Or early. I'm sorry," Gatz tried to elaborate, as he stepped into her room, letting the door close behind him, "but I... need help. With a lot of things, but something in particular happened tonight and I—"

He paused for a moment, unable to find the right words.

"I didn't feel comfortable coming to anyone else. Not even Valery."

 

[Briana Sal-Soren]

Wearing: XoXo | Equipment: Lightsaber | Location: Coruscant | Tag: Gatz Derrevar​

The weariness in Briana's eyes faded slightly as Gatz stepped into her room, slowly but surely becoming more and more alert as the chrono on the wall ticked forward. Despite her disheveled appearance, Briana's posture straightened almost imperceptibly, an instinctual response taking over from her years spent in finishing school. It was clear that fatigue, no matter how deep, couldn't suppress the deeply embedded protocols of her upbringing. In her minds eye, Briana could almost see the stern look of disapproval from her mother, had she been there to see her daughter in her current state.

"You look like you stuck your head in a blender, and you still look good. That's so unfair."

Gatz's jest about her appearance was met with a faint, appreciative smile, a welcome diversion from her inner thoughts.

"Mmm. Flattery will get you nowhere, though I appreciate the attempt." Briana quipped, leading Gatz towards a pair of chairs that were situated by a large circular window overlooking the sleepless city below.

Outside, night still blanketed the skyline of Coruscant, cloaking the endless horizon of gleaming spires in deep velvet layers. Lights blazed from far off windows, bright pinpricks against the black as far as the eye could see. Dawn was still a ways off, but that didn't stop light from filtering in through the partially closed shutters. Which somehow seemed to noticeably highlight how sparse her room was, devoid of any personal mementos or trinkets, with the only pieces of furnishing consisting of the two chairs, her bed, and a desk that was overly cluttered with last night's work.

Suppressing a yawn behind her fist, Briana shuffled her way to the small kitchenette, a space she seldom used given her irregular residence in the temple, and set the water on to boil. "You know you don't need to apologize for seeking help," Briana called out from the kitchen area, carefully removing the kettle when it gave that distinctive whistle. After several moments of preparation, Briana returned and handed one cup to Gatz as the steam from his mug rose in gentle, aromatic swirls.

"Especially not to me." She finally added, fixing him with a knowing look before taking a seat across from him, carefully sipping her cuppa with a contented sigh, giving him the space he needed to gather his thoughts. "Tell me what's going on, if I can help I will."

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