LOA Time Away

[Kas Larsen]

I don't know many members in here. Originally came and joined SWRP Chaos in 2014 but I never got a proper start back then with Life taking priority over committing anything proper here. I did have a few friends that invited me to try out Chaos but they've now moved on or lost contact with them.


I came back here joined the Galactic Alliance as my second Major Faction throughout my time in Chaos but I do not know what's going to happen with the Faction down the line. I write/wrote Jedi characters; one I retired and Kas Larsen. I've tried to get involved or view threads in Open Roleplay, etc. I did join the Royal Naboo Republic or as it is revamped to the High Republic. Hope the two Factions grow and continue to create content for other Writers. Same applies to any others that possess potential.


Unfortunately, I still feel like an outcast. I have all these ideas and energy. I've got this energy to do a lot but it is probably just a wall of text to majority when I draft posts and delete them every time I reflect and read the drafts back to myself. I tried my first blog on here that was barely scratching the surface and now with how I am feeling and thinking. The focus to do more Blog writing is fading sadly tried to do more but I'm doubtful of myself. Tried viewing LFG threads and First Replies, Open RP ones but it is either topics that don't catch my eye or I don't believe in myself because I'm just a newbie as it can be called and not known by the majority here.


When I said feeling like an outcast - I read other Writers posts that are highly recognised. All while I tried but in the end it doesn't seem to fill me with any confidence. I tried a few LFG threads, I did take up some Writers' offers where they'd write with me but then threads died off fast or didn't get started. I understand the factor of IRL taking priority as well as other activities besides Chaos. Individuals have advised me this all takes time and I don't mean to sound impatient or negative but if one is trying to get involved but is left disheartened when threads die or others loose interest. It leaves me continuously believing, thinking "was it me? what did I do wrong? is it because I'm new, a nobody?"


I had posted one other LFG thread where I wanted to set-up a new family with other writers among characters but sadly that only got reactions, no responses and left me to just put those characters down as NPC's that I write from time-to-time but that's no longer enjoyable. All while I've seen the likes of the Nobles or Sal-Sorens as examples where they're writing in threads and interacting with others' characters outside of their Factions. No doubt there are tonnes more families out there written by many other writers. I just wanted that little something too.


I've only been able to briefly enjoy Private threads with those who've taken time to collab with me. To those writers, thank you, I will continue writing with you all. Factions threads, I honestly don't know any more I'm in the middle of a few but again I want to do a lot more in them. I don't want to end up spamming posts where it will most likely lead to negative impacts and waiting for others where it's left unknown sometimes if the threads continue. A double-edged sword said by some when I mentioned it on Discords.


I do appreciate and respect what advise and support that has been given to those who have communicated with me in Messages on-site and through Discord DM's. I hope this isn't perceived in a negative light that is not my intentions at all. Please do not see it as such. I am lost and uncertain in what to do if I stick around, return from an LOA.


My LOA will start after the Black Sun Syndicate & The High Republic Invasion is finished. I don't know how long I will isolate and go quiet for but I'll only post in some threads to finish them and continue the Private threads throughout.


Sorry for the wall of text if this is all that this thread is seen as. Apologies if I am or were a burden to anyone in the Community of Chaos.

 

[Kitter Bitters]

I really think the key to fitting in here at Chaos is simply sticking around and giving it time. Everyone starts somewhere, and it takes a while to find your rhythm and connections. Threads can move slowly because many of us are adults juggling busy lives, and that pace can make things feel a little disconnected at times.

Honestly, my characters aren't super well known either, and most of my attempts at family plots haven't taken off, so I understand the frustration. It's truly not just you. The people you're comparing yourself to have been here for a decade or more. They're major faction leaders who've spent years (sometimes over ten) building relationships, stories, and reputations through consistent roleplay with the same groups of people. That kind of presence and recognition doesn't happen overnight.

Most of us aren't going to reach the same level of notoriety as characters like Briana Sal-Soren, Valery Noble, or Romi Jade and that's perfectly okay. Their prominence doesn't mean the rest of us don't belong here, or that we're doing anything wrong and it certainly does not mean YOU are doing anything wrong.

Think of the Star Wars galaxy: there's only one Anakin Skywalker or "the chosen one," but that doesn't make characters like Mace Windu, Obi-Wan Kenobi, or Yoda any less essential to the bigger picture. Every character has value. Every story contributes something. Just because you're not center stage right now doesn't mean your place here isn't important.

That said, I've noticed that this seems to hit you pretty hard on a personal level, and it makes me wonder if this space is giving you more stress than enjoyment. This is supposed to be a fun, creative outlet and not something that makes you feel worse about yourself. If it's consistently affecting your self-esteem, it might be worth thinking about whether this hobby is still a good fit for you right now.

I genuinely enjoy writing with you and I'm really glad you're here. But more than anything, I want what's best for you, whatever that looks like.

Kas Larsen

 

[Kas Larsen]

I do take into account and understand the aspect where majority of the Members/Writers here are adults, do have busy schedules and lives outside of SWRP Chaos itself. I do try to give it time and let the other Writers participating in any threads to communicate with me if things come up but at the same time I don't want to end up being a bother or burden on some where I feel if I DM/Message on here or Discord individuals will be put off. I made errors with some in the [GA]. I want to put things right when coming back to it but I'm not sure anymore. I did attend/participate in the [GA] Townhall that Ghost hosted and tried to ask a question or few but felt limited. Didn't want to take up time because Ghost was unwell and trying to get everyone in the queue to answer their questions.


I'm not meaning to compare myself to the likes of the Writers behind Briana, Brandyn, Caltin (RIP to the character), Valery, etc. Sure, I'm just wanting to fit in while being at some level in where I'm someone that's always approachable, available and keen to write with other writers. Just I'm on my own, don't know a lot of people but want to build up friendships. All while letting that be natural and organic not forced. It is when I try to maybe suggest an idea or few and maybe consider participating in other threads.


I did try using a Discord channel or few but then those got flooded with banter, jokes and memes where I just up losing motivation to continue discussing ideas and delete my Discord posts, saying sorry I wasted people's attention and time. Let them enjoy themselves where it could've been taken to a different Discord channel instead of using the channel I tried to use for the reasons that channel existed for. I'm not an admin/mod or anything that others would go 'oh should've let him continue asking for help with suggesting ideas' nor will I contact Faction staff because they probably have enough on their plate as it is. I never want to be a bother or burden on anyone because Faction staff want to write and enjoy things too. I put others before myself in the best way that I hope isn't perceived as negative among others.


Others get more interaction and traction while I'm left without any. It happened in my first few Faction threads where I was raring to go, did a few posts and then it is like the same names get a lot more attention from others. Making me feel my writing and postings were worthless down the line. For instance the BSS and THR current invasion going on. I have done posts all while sticking to a posting order but then the original set up of writing partners has just gone AWOL. Others have jumped in, focused their attention, posts and writing elsewhere all while I'm left to write NPCs that's like scraps at the bottom of the barrel for any story content. Meanwhile, the same names get their content and interactions as I'm left twiddling my thumbs losing interest as time goes on.


I'm not after being at the centre stage or point of all, most stories in Faction thread, etc. I just want to contribute and come away with a little bit of enjoyment instead of doubting myself in the future. I want to build up content and earn my way up but if I'm putting some effort where it's just not impacting or giving opportunities for others to be involved. It leaves me lost in what approaches to take for next time. How to approach things from a different angle that creates any interest for others to participate or how I can join whatever writing activities are going on.


I was debating writing up my own threads in the Open Roleplay subforum with perhaps a LFG thread or few giving an explanation of what is going on but then I'd probably be setting up myself for further disappointment where there is the high-chance of the threads are left empty because I'm an unknown, a new member, etc. Alongside just writing all 5 of the Larsen family members since nobody was interested and not open that up again as I tried twice with the same LFG thread in providing more info the second time I picked that thread back up.


I can't help it sometimes whenever threads fade off, go quiet or died completely. It leaves me in thinking "that writer isn't interested with me anymore" and they're off writing in other threads. Few times I write in the same thread but left out by majority that I've tried to show my writing in Private threads as a starting point or a few, very few Open threads or Faction threads. All that can only take one so far where it doesn't build up anything to progress further. In showing what content I can enjoy and participate in that others might consider bringing me into.


We wrote together briefly yes, it was fun but you've stopped writing Katarine. We had a good few ideas and genuine topics we were able to discuss back around that time but nothing's happened since. I get it you weren't feeling the character/muse but when we had ideas nearly ready to go that appeared we were both interested and then second thoughts come about or just nothing goes forward. It doesn't leave me to reconsider trying again because it if happened once it can happen again where interest perks up and that just comes crashing down being left with not a lot else to focus on. Please don't see this as an attack or berating you. I'm just stating how it was from my perspective and what I felt, remain to feel whenever I've had to abandon ideas, threads and whatever else was going or going to happen. Not just with you but a few I tried taking up their offers to write with when I posted my own, first LFG thread to write with others.

 

[Lorn Reingard]

Ugh dude. Staff can hand me a swift ban if this is taking it too far, but I am dang tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. I am saying this to hopefully best help you in the future. Your main problem here is complaining. You are a downer, in most scenarios. No one wants to hear the same complaints over and over, thats why I for a fact do not want to write with you. You have DMed everyone and you get the same advice over and over and over and over again.

-No one is immediately going to jump into writing the Larsen family. You have been on here 2 seconds in comparison to others who have been here for a decade just forming creative relationships with each other. Not to mention you already have the family members wrote out, it leaves no creativity for whoever wants to join in. Which no one will until you have been here for a while, show you will be around for a while, and make friends with other writers.

-Again I have stated that this is a site where people don't care about writing training threads or "ranking up their characters". Just write, just roleplay dude. We are here for the story.

-People have lives, people start threads and dont finish them. Who cares, move on, hand wave that shit.

-Threads get crazy, especially invasions. Posting order gets messed up, who cares. Contribute where you can, write a cool story.

In fact thats where most of your problems can be fixed. Put your head down, roleplay, write cool stories that others want to join. Or join others cool stories, have fun, be light hearted. Then others will want to join you!

I'm sure there is more stuff but my eyes glaze over when I just see constant complaining. Dude just stick it out, take the advice you are actively seeking out. Have fun and roleplay!

Kas Larsen

 

[Briana Sal-Soren]

A lot of people have tried to talk with you and advise you at this point. I know several staff members have, and I know even several community members have taken the time out of their days to talk with you, some of them for hours. You seem very stuck on this pov, and stuck in this defeatist mindset, and despite asking for advice, you don't seem ready to want to take it.

I hope that while you take time away, that you can recalibrate and eventually come back with a new and more positive perspective, outlook, and approach to rp and with how you interact with others.

 

[Jerec Asyr]

People have lives, people start threads and dont finish them. Who cares, move on, hand wave that shit.

This is powerful advice. Been here on and off since the start and I'd be stunned if half the threads I've been in, or 1/4 of the threads I've started, have come to a conclusion. It's not personal, it's the nature of the hobby; one thing fizzles, on to the next three, get your good times where you can.

 

[Corazona von Ascania]

This is powerful advice. Been here on and off since the start and I'd be stunned if half the threads I've been in, or 1/4 of the threads I've started, have come to a conclusion. It's not personal, it's the nature of the hobby; one thing fizzles, on to the next three, get your good times where you can.

This - even the Nobles and the Jades and the Sal Sorens have had their own threads abandoned/fizzle out. Not every plot pans out, and ya just gotta move on to the next thing.

 

[Kitter Bitters]

I'm going to do my best to contribute in a helpful way here. Please know that nothing I say is meant to come across as harsh or critical. I'm genuinely trying to support you and offer a constructive perspective.

I was a bit confused when you mentioned that your threads are fizzling out and not gaining traction.

Here are a few recent thread examples that stood out:

• Field Trip Thread - Valoria Elryne just responded Wednesday. You can see that writer hasn't responded to many other threads this week, indicating they are busy but they are clearly still posting to you because it's already on it's second page of replies.
• Streets of Theed - Aristodemus literally replied to you today.
• Total Eclipse of the Heart - I see people tagging you. I haven't read the posts but it looks like people are working with you. Some having just posted yesterday and today.
• Path of Most Resistance - it looks like you just posted Monday and Lily and Voli are both interacting with you
• The Edge of the Known - Iandre Athlea just posted to you Friday
• Unexpected Flight - Valoria Elryne mentioned you in their post just yesterday, indicating you ARE getting recognition. You ARE influencing other writers and their stories.
• Finding Sanctuary - Nathan just posted to you on Wednesday and it looks like this thread is still going with several writers in it, writing with you.
• Jedi Dimension Style - Shelia just posted to you on Tuesday. Looks like this this thread is still going.

I could list more examples, but I think what I've already shared makes the point. Just counting the threads above, that's at least six different writers who have interacted with you this week alone. Can you help me understand more about what you mean when you say you're not getting any traction? From what I'm seeing, you've got multiple ongoing threads with replies within the past few days, and quite a few writers engaging with your content.

Regarding the family aspect:

I completely agree that it can be tough to jump into a pre-established family dynamic, especially when the names, personalities, and story arcs are already mapped out. It can make it hard for other writers to feel a real sense of ownership over the characters.

If you're genuinely interested in a collaborative family-style story, you might consider leaving the roles more open-ended so that others can shape them with their own creativity. Another option could be to keep writing your own family as NPCs or even as PCs. Plenty of writers here do both, and either approach is completely valid.

My main concern is this:

It seems like your perception may not fully match the reality. From what I see, you are receiving responses, you're being written with, and you're even being referenced in other writers' posts. And yet, you're feeling overlooked. I gently suggest taking some time to explore why that is.

Is there a part of you that's telling yourself you're not being included or that you're not good enough? Because from the outside, that's not what's happening. It looks like people are genuinely trying to engage with you. So the question becomes: what's at the root of this feeling? Where is that disconnect coming from? If you need time away to truly explore that it's understandable. Do whatever is best for you. People here are trying to help and we do care.


Kas Larsen

 

[Judah Dashiell]

I had posted one other LFG thread where I wanted to set-up a new family with other writers among characters but sadly that only got reactions, no responses and left me to just put those characters down as NPC's that I write from time-to-time but that's no longer enjoyable. All while I've seen the likes of the Nobles or Sal-Sorens as examples where they're writing in threads and interacting with others' characters outside of their Factions. No doubt there are tonnes more families out there written by many other writers. I just wanted that little something too.

I write all my family members except for two. The other two (one by marriage, one a new son) have just joined the Dashiells within the past eighteen months I would say. There were some cousins but they didn't stick.

I've been on the board since 2012. That should give you a time frame of how long it can be to establish a family and get any traction in terms of others wanting to join in. Or trusting others to join in the vision.

Just to give some perspective.

 

[Vazela]

The OP reminded me of how I was when I began writing here in 2013. It is easy to take things personally. They usually never are. For me it took losing this place for an extended period of time. It is only when you are kicked out of somewhere, with no choice but to live with it, that you come to understand what you have lost. This is dramatic (considering this is just a writing game, essentially) but I've tried all the other places that try and do what Chaos gives and this is the only place online that gives the best experience that I have found.

Walls of text like this are easy ways to burn bridges and it's hard to get over them, onto the other side, to write with others particularly when this all amounts to is a lack of interest in your source material. It's easy to dissuade people when you post stuff like this.

Saying all this I've been where OP has been. Feelings of isolation. Being the outcast. Nobody to write with (or feeling that way). Other ideas, that you see as worse or just as good, which are picked over your own. Feeling fed up and writing it on the website to hopefully change something only to be met with apathy or more annoyance. Wanting to act out to give people a "real" reason for being annoyed in the first place. Feeling like you're in the right when everyone is telling you you're in the wrong. It's a rough spot. I feel for you man.

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

Wasn't going to weigh in, but this character's name was mentioned.

Wrote this guy for 18 years.

A continuous story, continuous timeline, regardless the threads thst fizzled out.

Didn't worry about making a name on anywhere. I wrote for me, I WRITE for me.

I tick people off all the time.

It has happened.

It happens

It will happen.

Take care of yourself

 

[Judah Dashiell]

I tick people off all the time.

Same. We should form a club.

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

Same. We should form a club.

 

[Eloise Dinn]

I see a lot of my own frustrations in your words. My solution is to not make Chaos the whole of your writing world. If the only reason you write down your ideas and stories is to get attention and approval from these people, you’re going to be disappointed.

Write for yourself. Write outside of Chaos. If Star Wars is your thing, write fanfiction. Write original works. See if you still have the same issues with motivation when you are your only audience.

Kas Larsen