Private The Way Away

[Cale Gunderson]

He’d had this ship longer than he could remember, and yet it had no name. Cale had meant to name it for a woman, one he’d all but written off as dead or gone a long, long time ago, and without that it had no name. Aleks had tried to name it, so had Ronan, Tup Tup, Hector, they’d all made an attempt to give her a moniker that stuck, but Cale left it as she was, nameless, incomplete, maybe they shared that.

Once they were clear and en route to Pelagon, Cale had finally let go of the tension he held in his chest and left the cockpit to the half-Mandalorian ex-Stormtrooper he called his first mate. Aleks was somewhere in the life support, and their passenger was somewhere in the hold. He could sense her, sense the wound aching in the force. She needed a healer, or something, someone with a gift well advanced when compared to his own meager abilities, but that wasn’t something for him to press onto her, he could just accommodate for now.

Cale went to grab another stimstick as he rounded his way into the hold, but thought better of it. Why he couldn’t say, but something made his hand stop short of digging into the jacket’s pocket. The ship was about as tidy as one would’ve expected, but it had a homely comfort to it, and he hoped that’d be enough.

But, now came the time he was sure both he and Asha must’ve been waiting for. Questions needed answering, likely from both parties.

He took a seat at the small table in the hold and gestured for his guest to take the booth opposite from him. Cale let his arm lay out on the table, and leaned back in the chair, trying to force himself to stop worrying about interdiction and the like, they were safe, Aleks was safe, and there was no dark surprise waiting around the corner.

“I imagine you have questions, I know I do,” He began, keeping the same cordial tone that was slowly becoming more natural and less a front the more he made use of it. Aleks was probably going mad, wondering who’d taken his master and dropped him on his head while he was out, he was hardly ever so amicable. “Let’s start with a simple one Asha, are you hurt, physically? We’ve got meds and bacta.”

He was thinking like a Jedi again, and he wasn’t entirely sure if that was a point of pride or embarrassment, or if it even mattered.

Asha Seren ​

 

[Asha Seren]

She'd barely said a word since making the decision to climb up the ramp and board his ship. In a way she reckoned that suited everyone onboard just fine, there was a route to chart after all, and a ship to bring clear enough from their point of origin that they could set it to hyperspace, and-- Well, you get the idea.​

​

After being led into the main hold, a place which notably did have actual seats, and being left there, Asha had found herself a quiet corner and sank to the floor. Her head bowed, her shoulders slumped, and though she'd been avoiding doing so she finally drew upon the Force for the first time in a long time. That sickness threatened to grip her once more, but as was the point in doing so in the first place she pushed it aside. Pushed aside all of her bodily, earthly needs, and quietened both body and mind.​

​

And in doing so she found a brief, arguably tumultuous peace with the Force. Held it at bay, at least for herself, similarly to the way in which the bindings had done so. The only real respite to be afforded to her. It had been the same back on Panatha, whenever he'd seen fit not to bind her. Part of her had wondered if he liked to watch her squirm with it, liked to see her struggle to contend with the polar opposite ends of the Force which seemed ever at odds with her. He wanted her to fall, he longed to see her crumple into darkness, and there were times he'd almost achieved that goal.​

​

Sitting there now, she wondered how she'd evaded such. Exhaustion had made a home of her, and she felt certain if he were to try it now he'd probably succeed. But he wasn't here... Not that she knew of. So she exhaled, and while the ship rose and set in motion she held herself in check meditatively.​

​

She didn't cease until she heard the approach of another. Slowly she drew back from her mind, dissipating her hold on the Force, and opened one eye. Cale... The other eye opened soon after, and she exhaled a slow breath. He gestured her into a seat at the table, and so she rose up and did as she was bid. It was almost too instinctive an act, somewhat mechanical, as though she didn't even think not to do as he'd said.​

​

If she realized it, she didn't show it. She simply sat, laying both hands in her lap, and glanced at a spot on the table somewhere between them.​

​

When he began to speak she nodded her head softly. Oh, there were a whole host of questions knocking about in her skull and frankly only a couple of them even pertained to man, ship, destination... Most of them were likely not even things he could answer, or which he'd find strange to even need answering. Maybe she'd put those off for now.​

​

Still, he led the questioning.​

​

"A little sore" she admitted, though she ultimately shook her head. "Only bruised, I think." A burning against her bicep flared at the minor lie, but he didn't need to know about that. Nothing he could do about it anyway. No, hers was a fresh body. Thinking back on it, this one's awakening had been different to the last, as had the extinguishing of the prior. Usually it was done in a rage, or to prove a point, but this time...​

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Had he simply wanted her out there with an unscathed body? The more she thought on it, the more confused she became in regards to the Vornskr's part in all of this.​

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Her stomach saw fit to grumble then, and she clenched her jaw in response and seemed to draw her head lower still. She opened her mouth to speak, but then decided against it. She'd lasted this long without, she could wait until questions were tended to before seeking some form of sustenance.​

​

Cale Gunderson ​

 

[Cale Gunderson]

"Alright then, 'ya hungry? Don't have anything fancy but plenty of of the basics." Cale wasn't sure if he was meant to ease into the grander questions, or let them lie. He'd been a Sentinel once, a long time ago, it'd been part of his job to ask questions. But he'd been a boy then, a child in a war that he barely understood and that hardly mattered in the end, so much had changed. Regardless, he lifted up his hand and called a nutrient bar to it. One shot from a storage unit and into his hand, leaving the Jedi to chuckle softly.

"Sorry, I'm still out of practice. Getting used to this whole Jedi thing again. I'm with the Order, by the way, not sure if I clarified." That allegiance was of recent vintage, Cale had been on his own for decades, in an exile that in spite of the hefty charges against him at the time, seemed self-imposed given how quickly they were undone. They'd absolved him with a few keystrokes, and suddenly all crimes committed by Darth Venatorum of the One Sith were forgiven. No point in imprisoning a man who'd been quite literally a puppet, unwillingly dancing on another's strings. He'd touched the force again when Aleks had needed guidance, but he'd only just begun to make peace with it after so long.

His better nature that'd stopped him the first time lost out now, as he dug into his pocket for a stim, trapping one between his lips, though leaving it unlit. Cale pulled a second and offered it out to her. He'd kept Aleks off the things, and Ronan had been trying to quit, so was Cale in all honesty, but that didn't matter much now. He figured it was only right to offer up one to her before they got into the real questions.

Like why the force wept in agony around her very being.

Asha Seren ​

 

[Asha Seren]

If he could sense the small lie he let it slide, and instead moved on to something she really couldn't deny: hunger. Only the basics, he claimed, but Force were the basics better than nothing, or whatever swill she'd been on for so long. There had been times where it wasn't even edible forms of nutrients, hooked up to IVs and denied even the pleasure which came with eating. ​

​

Asha shook her head slightly, more so at her own thoughts, and then lifted it enough that she could actually look at him. "Please," her soft voice whispered, despite the fact she'd only just come to terms with the fact that she'd likely have to wait for such. But no, he'd took notice and he'd offered, and soon the Force swelled around him as he called into his grasp some sort of nutrient-dense bar that was perfect for those on the go.​

​

It was offered, yet even so she was slow to take it. Once she had it, she sort of stared at it while listening to what he said. Out of practice, or out of touch? The more they interacted the more they seemed almost mirrored. Antithetical in some ways, but similar in others. It was strange.​

​

He spoke of an Order; when last she'd roamed the Galaxy there'd been the Republic, and the Silent Conclave, and the Army of the Light... That had been its name, right? Militant types, those Jedi. How far had things progressed since? Where were the Jedi now, what state was the Galaxy in?​

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So many questions...​

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"The Republic?" she inquired hesitantly, after all of the three that was the most widespread... Right? She slowly began to open the wrapper, and though it wasn't anything special the smell of it was enough to twist her stomach and make her immediately forget her misgivings when it came to accepting food from a relative stranger. She broke a piece off, and ate it as normally as she could, that is she forced herself to be slower than she'd have liked. Truth be told she might have devoured the whole thing in two bites if he hadn't been watching.​

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A stim was offered her way soon after, and she stared at it too. The mere sight of it reminded her of her days undercover with Josh Dragovalor ... Some of the things they'd seen and done, it was impossible not to cling to vices back then. But she had enough to contend with right now, without adding some sort of addiction on top of it. She shook her head softly. No, she wouldn't be partaking in such.​

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Cale Gunderson ​

 

[Cale Gunderson]

He'd lowered the offered stim, but her question seemed to strike him like a hammer blow. His expression seemed to become almost haunted at the mere mention of the name. Shame, sorrow, regret, they all filled him and he let his head hand low. Now Cale knew he needed the smoke. He ignited it and inhaled, then blew out away from her. The Republic was a memory long faded, a home lost to his own hands. He could still smell the carnage, feel the hum of the wicked saber in his hands, hear the screams, so many screams.

"No, the Republic isn't around anymore." From all he could tell, he and Asha didn't look that far apart in age, which meant that Cale likely was at least two decades her senior, but that inquiry made him wonder. What if she was like him? Decades of aging slowed by the likes of cyrostasis, the Netherrealm, or just the force itself? Or maybe she was a shifter of some kind, a Shi'ido like Rasu Gan, Marek's wife. But she didn't seem that way, she seemed like the Epicanthix she presented as. Either way, she was clearly working with outdated information.

"The One Sith, they uh," It pained him to speak their name, to let their memory live on. "They destroyed the Republic a long time ago. Almost twenty years now." It'd been so long, but the nightmares of what befell the Republic still visited him every time he dared to sleep.

"The Galactic Alliance holds their place now, this variant of it anyway. We're on the third iteration or so of it. One Sith fell, Sith Empire rose, then fell, CIS did the same, it goes on and on." Bitterness seeped in as Cale was reminded of how ineffectual their struggles were, how neither good nor evil truly had any lasting impact. It left him frustrated, angry, but as he recognized the rising emotion, Cale took it, acknowledged it, then buried the feeling. He took another drag, and blew smoke in the air.

"We're still fighting for the right stuff, don't worry. You've been away a while, haven't you Asha? Nobody seems to even remember the Republic these days, let alone believes it's still around."

Asha Seren ​

 

[Asha Seren]

No Republic?​

​

She could sense his brief bitterness over that fact, the mind of an Empath never wholly being able to be silenced, the sorrow, the grief, it permeated him. He'd been there for it then, lived through its apparent fall, while she'd...​

​

Well, most likely she'd been lost to the Netherrealm.​

​

Still she wasn't quite expecting him to say the length of time he did. "Twenty years?" she choked out, incredulously. The rest of what he said more or less fell to the wayside, although she took in enough to realize just how dire the state of the Galaxy truly was. Three iterations in twenty years? Sith rising and falling just as rapidly. "What about Pyre?" she asked, it had truthfully been her last home before she'd gone to face Kaine that last time, before he'd cut her down and she'd become one with the Force.​

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Over twenty years ago that had to have been, though the Jedi had schism'd back then the Republic was still holding strong after all. How much time had she lost? How long had he kept her caged upon finding her spirit in the afterlife? Her expression mimicked his, equally as haunted, in fact she went so far as to rise up from her seat. She turned from him, eyes darting this way and that about the hull.​

​

This was some sick joke, wasn't it? Was it a holosim room? Was Kaine watching her now? She spied every corner of it that she could, but her once trained eyes did not pick up on anything untoward. No flickering, nothing which could indicate it was fake. An illusion, perhaps? But no... Through the Force she felt that all of this was very much tangible.​

​

Cale... He was the one who had spoken those words. Was he in a league? Was the saber a stand in, all of this some sort of act?​

​

"Twenty years..."​

​

The words were breathless, tiny. ​

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What of her boys? Grown men in their own right now... Had that truly been Kobe who had overseen her release? Maybe Kaine had no part in it then... Only it was his seat, wasn't it? Nothing could happen there that he was unaware of. ​

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And Thurion Heavenshield ? Jericho..? They'd already become men in their own rights when she'd last seen them. Now? Where did that leave them now? How old were her students? What had they done with their lives?​

​

"I don't... I can't..." She turned, stared at him for a moment, then bolted.​

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There was nowhere to exactly run to when you were stuck on a ship floating through space, but try and tell that to her legs. This way, that, it didn't matter.​

​

Soon she found herself in the cargo hold. Cold, horribly cold, but the shift in temperature did wonders for silencing her racing mind.​

​

Cale Gunderson ​

 

[Cale Gunderson]

"Omega Pyre?" Cale questioned, though he more mouthed the words than even whispered them as she rose, seized by panic, beset by fear. Cale knew that sensation, he'd felt it before for himself. He could've let her go, and maybe he should have, but something brought him to his feet after her, calmly, losing his composure wouldn't help anyone. Cale followed after her, through the tight corridors and to the engine room. He didn't run. he could sense her confusion, paranoia, feelings he knew better than most.

He wondered why she had grabbed his attention so fiercely, and now he was starting to understand. She was like him in her own way, unlike him in others, but they both had lived a deal longer than it seemed, and if he were to guess, they'd both suffered an unbelievable amount as well. But she was lost now, not him, and that made it his obligation to help her find her way.

"Hey," Cale called to her, immediately tossing his lightsaber onto the ground, leaving it between her and himself, raising his hand once again to show he meant her no harm. "I know this is confusing, I understand, trust me I do." He tried to think of a way to calm her down, to put whatever thoughts were in her mind at ease, or at least enough for them to just talk.

"It's 874 ABY Asha, I know I don't look it, but I'm fifty-four technically. What about you, huh? How old does that make you? Help me understand where we stand with one another so I can help you fill in the gaps." Maybe that was too much, or maybe it was too little, Cale didn't know, but he had to try.

"Tell me the last thing you remember from the galaxy, what was going on? I spent some time away, but I'll fill in the gaps as best I can okay?"

Asha Seren ​

 

[Asha Seren]

He followed her and that caused her adrenaline to spike all the more. She picked up the pace, gaze shooting this way and that in search of something which might aid her if all of this came to a head. If the facade he'd constructed to seem like he was on his side came tumbling down around them. Into the engine room, and she spied some sort of servodriver. One hand made to reach for it, before she heard him speak. Something accompanied it, the clatter of an object against the ground.​

​

That had her pausing. She turned just enough to glance upon it, and saw he'd laid his lightsaber between them. It acted as something of a line in the sand, but it also left him as defenseless as she was. Between Force Users that didn't exactly mean much, of course, but he seemed as out of touch in its use as she felt.​

​

She swallowed, and faced him fully then. Stared at him.​

​

He gave her the year, gave her his age, asked her to figure out her own in the process. She felt her throat constricting, her eyes prickled though she refused to let the tears spill over. "Fifty... Something..." she breathed, unable to bring the exact dates to mind. "I uh... I'd just turned thirty..." So long ago. So very long ago. The more she thought about it the longer it seemed, too. She began to feel it in her core, and once again her body sought to reject the aged soul crammed into it.​

​

She closed her eyes tightly, and tried to control her breathing. Nope, that wasn't happening. At least she had his words to listen to, and a response to think up. What was the last thing she remembered? Well that was easy. But was she willing to divulge as much to him?​

​

Either he knew already, being an agent of the Vornskr, else all of this was genuine... Right?​

​

"The Jedi had schism'd, war crimes weren't being judged so we broke away... Silent Conclave. We formed the Conclave." It was difficult though, wasn't it, to grasp at what had happened closer to her death. As though her body was trying to forget it. That day though, on Panatha, she'd never lost the memory of that, so starkly burned against her mind as it was. "I don't... I can't remember beyond that."​

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What had come after the Conclave? There had to have been something, right? "It's all blank until---" Her head lifted again, and she pushed that thought aside once more. "Why are you doing this?" she asked all at once, the words slipping from her mouth as though they were the only thing keeping her alive. "Did he put you up to this?" Even with the lightsaber where it was, she couldn't take it at face value. Not truly. She took a step back. When next she spoke her voice broke.​

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"Please, just ask him to stop. I'll go back, I'll do as he bids, just... I can't do this. I can't."​

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Cale Gunderson ​

 

[Cale Gunderson]

"Conclave...the Silvers? Did you know Marek S'hadar, Rasu Gan?" They were the wrong questions, personal ones, selfish, he didn't need some connection to her to be sympathetic. Fifty-something made them close in age, there might've been shared acquaintances if she were ever a Jedi like it seemed. He remembered the Schism, remembered not doing much of anything about it, too full of purpose to care. Was it Metalorn that'd been so horrendous, or Korriban? He remembered them both, remembered the pain and the death, and the thrum of his saber in hand.

Then she lost the train of thought, lost her way, and the confusion and panic returned. He didn't know who he was being accused of working for, but Cale did not have to stretch his imagination to know whoever they were must've been bathed in the Dark Side. Evil lived freely in their galaxy now, and it made him long for the days it could only linger in shadow, though he'd never known such times.

"I'm doing this because its right, and not for anyone. Who's 'he'? Are they after you, will they come for us?" His own worry grew, bubbling up as he tried to think of just who could have done...whatever it was that had been done to her. Cale didn't understand the specifics, but he understood the fear. The terror at the thought of being dragged back, of being a prisoner once again, and of how had he been confronted he would've crumbled immediately.

Ten years, a prisoner in his own body, a victim to his own crimes.

"Asha," He made a point of using her name, of recognizing her as an individual, the way he'd have wanted it when he'd first been free. He had no guide for this, just notions about what he'd have wanted when he had stood as she did. He didn't move forward, remaining calmly in his place as he put out the stim and tossed it aside. "I'm not taking you back anywhere. We're going someplace quiet like you wanted. I punched in Pelagon, seems like a nice place, wanted to visit anyway."

He sighed.

"I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm not takin' you nowhere you don't wanna go, alright? Let's just take a breather."

Asha Seren ​

 

[Asha Seren]

"Silvers..?" Had that come after? Force, she couldn't remember. Then one word slipped from her lips. "Levantine." They'd become the Levantine Sanctum, hadn't they? It was all so murky, so distant, it was like trying to grasp at bubbles which popped on a stray breeze before fingers could so much as come within an inch of its fragile surface. "Rasu..." That name seemed familiar. "Qae." Qae Shena, Seydon, Rasu. Yes. Rasu had been there too, hadn't she?​

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Of course her composure didn't hold much longer than that.​

​

He tried to talk her down, bring her back to a level of sense, but at least to begin with nothing seemed to work to rein her in. "You know who he is" she accused, something of a whine creeping into her tone as she became utterly exasperated by the whole interaction. Both hands raised and she held either side of her head with her palms flat against each temple. Her fingers splayed up through her hair, and she tried to draw upon her training, to breathe, to think, to clear away the mess and find herself left with only what was immediately necessary.​

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But she couldn't get so much as a grip on her meditative state. It was far too fleeting, and she was too far gone.​

​

Her name was uttered then, and though he didn't physically approach her he seemed to close the distance between them all the same in doing so. The words he stated drew her back to the present, and at his mention of Pelagon her eyes opened once more. "Pelagon?" What were the chances of that..? Pelagon was quiet. Pelagon was a reminder of more serene years, of the boy she'd found amidst the waves. Her Thurion...​

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She clung to that thought, to those memories, and the tears she'd held back broke free though she paid them no mind. Would she ever see the boy again? Did he still roam the Galaxy as he had before? Was he still so full of life, and hope, and joy?​

​

Asha exhaled.​

​

"Kaine," she finally replied, to his earlier questioning. "I was held by Kaine... Zambrano." His name tasted bitter on her tongue, even after all these years she hated the sound of it. The more pressing question, she supposed, was whether he'd be coming for them. Her gaze shifted to her feet. "I... I don't know. Twenty years" she breathed that number again, still incomprehensible to her. Then she wrapped her arms around herself. Might as well spit it all out.​

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"He took my child" she stated, solemnly, "Took him, and aged him, and broke him, and ultimately... killed him." She swallowed before she uttered her boy's fate, and her hands clenched into her sides where she'd buried them. "I sought him out, lied to myself that it was for justice, that I was just doing my part as a Jedi, but... It was vengeance. I wanted his head for all he'd done." Oh, Zambrano's torment had not started there, he'd been like a dog nipping at her heel for years prior.​

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But Cassus?​

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Her sweet boy... The babe she'd only held but once... Oh, Cassus was her undoing.​

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"He cut me down, and made the Nether my home." Her lips thinned, gaze now fixed at a point on the floor between them. She realized after a short while she was staring at the lightsaber. "I don't know... I don't know how long I was dead. Then one day I was back, only the body didn't feel right. He'd, uh... Cloned me. And he kept cloning me, over and over. I'd look at him wrong, or I'd say something he didn't like, or I'd simply not cooperate. Sometimes I think he was just in a bad mood. I don't know how many times he pulled me kicking and screaming back from the Nether, I don't even want to think about it."​

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She rolled her shoulders back uncomfortably, then lifted her head. Still wasn't able to meet his gaze, but almost.​

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"Then two days ago he does it again, only unprovoked. He didn't even seem angry, just... Snuffed me from existence, then stuffed me into this imitation of myself. Next thing I knew I was being tossed out into that starport we just left... I, uh. I don't think he's going to follow, but I also don't know why he's done it. I'm sorry, for any trouble I'm bringing you."​

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Her gaze drifted past him, to a point beyond the engine room, and her brow creased into a series of frowns. "Feth... And your boy." Had she been in the right state of mind before, in the starport, she might have refused to go with him at the mention of his student. But she hadn't... She'd just wanted out. Selfish...​

​

She'd been selfish.​

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Asha fell silent. Truth be told she hadn't meant to say nearly as much as she had, and now in the wake of it she just felt... hollow.​

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Cale Gunderson ​

 

[Cale Gunderson]

As she spoke, Cale tried to nod along, to listen, to recognize the names, but then she said his. Kaine Zambrano was a name Cale knew, and one he knew well. By technicality, it'd been Zambrano that had freed him, when he'd slain the Dark Lord of the One Sith so that he might usurp him. Cale had seen all he'd done, all he could do, over and over again he'd marched in stride with Blackblade Guard, aiding them in their slaughters. Murderer, torturer, monster, Vornskr, Carnifex.

The names changed, the barbarity with it, growing ever the more savage. He could hear Vulcanus mocking him, a Zambrano dog, that was what he'd dubbed him. But Cale refused it, he'd never been that man's monster, that craven couldn't have held him in line, Cale wouldn't have allowed it, he wouldn't-

He realized then his hand had balled into a fist, and he forced himself to let them unfurl.

"Zambrano." He spoke the name like a curse, and only then did he process all she had told him. It was much to bear, but he'd laid his past out to others before. Finally, it seemed like there might've known that kind of suffering, their experiences were different of course, the suffering as dissimilar as it was alike, but now he understood. None of this would've seemed real, it would've seemed to be just another part of Kaine's sick game.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that Asha." He meant every word but didn't know what to say. A son taken, twisted, and murdered. He could imagine nothing more agonizing, more decimating to one's soul. Then the entrapment, the rebirth, the breaking. She was stronger than him, he would've given up long ago. But maybe so had she, but her captor simply denied her the option.

There was a silence in the air, as he tried to respond, tried to think of what he could possibly say, and settled on the truth.

"He's not getting you back Asha, or me." He sighed and opened up his own personal box of horrors.

"The One Sith hit Coruscant, I think that might've been after you left. Embedded in the Order were sleeper agents, some willing, others...less so, They attacked, torched the temple, butchered my friends and I," He eyed the lightsaber, and wondered if he'd killed himself by leaving it there, and opening his mouth, but it was too late now. "I helped them do it. Didn't want to, their Dark Lord had me like a puppet on strings, I was conscious, I was there, but I couldn't do anything but watch."

"I was trapped like that for years. And it wasn't just that, it used me, every bit of suffering from watching, it fed off it, used it for fuel. It did so much...I did so much," He wasn't looking at her anymore, Cale's gaze went past her by a thousand yards, as he tried to forget, and failed as he had a hundred thousand times before.

"Then Kaine usurped the bastard and I was free. Free to live with that. It seems like you and I have both been toys for people who didn't deserve to be born, huh?" Cale chuckled bitterly. He remembered the temple, remembered the Alliance, remembered lying and running and begging for the nightmares to end. But he was free now, and with any luck, she would be too. Cale sat down and leaned against one of the walls.

"You don't got a thing to be sorry for, by helping you, hell maybe I'll be able to sleep a little bit more at night. Zambrano isn't here, and he won't ever be, even if he was looking. Wherever you wanna go, Pelagon or beyond, I'll get you there. Far, far away from him. Alright?" His blue eye settled on her, and he wondered how selfish he must've been to have once thought that he had suffered the most at the hands of the Sith. She'd been deprived of a child, of life and death both, yet there she stood.

"Sit down, catch your breath, You're alright."

Asha Seren ​

 

[Asha Seren]

He had a habit of reiterating her name, acknowledging her as a person and not an asset, not just a thing in the corner of the room to contend with, and much to her surprise it worked wonders toward grounding her to the here and now. For so long it had felt as though she had been without identity, for so long she'd been alone in that cell, with only his aged face for some semblance of occasional company.​

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If one could refer to him as such.​

​

And yet here she was... No longer in a cell, though arguably no less confined by the durasteel shell of the ship. Certainly though no longer alone.​

​

The silence stretched on before he made his bold statement. Kaine wouldn't get either of them back. Either of them back... That had her do the impossible, and she met his gaze levelly with her own for as long as he'd hold it. At some point during his explanation his gaze drifted away as her own had during her telling of events, and she gave him the room to do so. To speak without pressure, without judgement.​

​

A puppet for a different puppet master, that's what he'd been, forced to act not of his own volition yet awake for it all the same. Her heart sunk, and she could feel the trepidation flowing from him as he eyed the lightsaber and wondered if he'd made a mistake leaving it in the open.​

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For her part, Asha didn't even look at it. Didn't even pay it mind for a second. He judged himself harshly for all that had been done, she knew this inherently even without the more empathic nature she carried, because she'd judged herself when Cassus fell, and she'd judged herself after when she'd sought to rip the head off the snake.​

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Not the same, no far from it, but still an innate response she knew for herself.​

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"You've been through hell" she breathed, and having visited the place more times than she could count she did not envy him the memories which could rival such. What he said was, for the most part, the truth. There might have been small lies thrown in there to ease his own mind, but she didn't pick up on them. He really had experienced it all, and he really wasn't on the payroll of Kaine Zambrano.​

​

The last of her dubious nature insofar as Cale was concerned finally faded. With it came pure unabashed exhaustion. She'd been fighting for so long, to keep her mind, to keep her soul, to remain on alert, to keep up her guard... Every waking moment.​

​

He didn't even have to suggest that she sit, she slumped down to the floor of the engine room of her own volution and dropped her heavy head into her hands.​

​

"Pelagon," she breathed, with a soft nod, "I'd like to see Pelagon again... Please." But beyond that?​

​

What was she going to do beyond that?​

​

"Where are you headed?" she asked, after a long silence. She didn't lift her head, but nor did it seem like she was purposely avoiding his gaze anymore. "What even is the state of the Galaxy out there?" Was it somewhere she wanted to break back into? Did she want to learn just how bad things had gotten during her time away?​

​

Cale Gunderson ​

 

[Cale Gunderson]

"Sounds like we both have, different hells, but hell all the same." The tightness building in his chest subsided as she spoke, and slumped down onto the floor. A trace of a smile pulled at his lips, he'd never spoken to someone who understood the depth of it all, the unfathomable suffering, not until now. It was a strange thing, not being alone. Not bad though.

He didn't like speaking on it, even acknowledging it ever happened left home feeling sick, suffering. But he tried to push that aside for now, and focus on what lay ahead, on Pelagon and beyond. He felt like he should've known her, that somehow their paths ought to have crossed, they'd both been knights of the Republic, hadn't they? In fairness, there had been more of them then, lots more, easier to lose people in the shuffle and to encounter someone entirely new. They weren't perfect times, but he missed them, or at least the person he'd been then.

Maybe he just missed his arm.

"I've never been, Pelagon as nice as it seems?" It was an almost comically tame question, given the truths that had just been exchanged, but neither of them could go on forever about their tragedies, they had to keep living so he'd come to learn. Then of course, she had a question for him, one that he himself didn't truly know the answer to.

"I'm not going anywhere in particular," He admitted with a shrug. "Wherever I'm needed I guess. You got anywhere else you want to go? If I stay gone long enough I'll probably be able to skip whatever chewing out they have planned for me."

He last question was somehow the most simple, but also the most complicated. Anyone could tell you what was going on in the galaxy, the trouble was making any sense of the madness,

"The Galaxy is a mess. A couple resurgent groups trying to emulate the Empire of old here, a ravenous band of zealous darksiders there, an equally rabid Crusade of lightsiders over there, the Alliance, the Silvers, and the Mandalorians are all clashing or allied or what have you. Csilla was destroyed, that was uh, a big thing. That darkside band, The Brotherhood of the Maw, they blew it up, galaxy is still reeling from that." Cale tried to put it as simply as he could, but he wasn't sure if he'd done a better or worse job then he imagined.

"It's better and it's worse than you remember, you'll see."

Asha Seren ​

 

[Asha Seren]

"Neither of our own devising" she stated plainly, perhaps in her own way hoping to ease some of that haunting self-blame which still lingered over him even now. Being the puppet of another, being at their mercy and having no real way to resist, was a horrid way to live, and it was one of the things that she wholly understood and could empathize with in his situation. He'd been but a vessel... And one day she hoped he'd come to terms with that.​

​

Talks turned to Pelagon, and she inhaled a long breath through her nose as though imagining the salty sea breeze in all its splendor. "Pelagon is a veritable utopia compared to most places" she settled on, after a quiet few seconds, "Oceans are far as the eye can see, and everything's floating on seascapes - metal platforms that lay upon the water's surface. I don't think I could manage its capital any time soon, but the outlying settlements..?"​

​

For a moment she seemed almost at peace as she thought about it all, her eyes closing to conjure up the views. "It's quiet, and simple, and bracing... You'll see." Provided he stuck around of course, she wasn't exactly proving to be an easy passenger now was she? Between the all too obvious wound and the conversations they'd brought up, her hesitancy - nay, outright suspicion - toward him, she wouldn't blame him if he dropped her off a world over and got as far away from her as she could.​

​

But he didn't seem like he would.​

​

In fact, his next words sent her mind spiraling.​

​

"You mean... You'll take me somewhere after Pelagon?" Now that was a development she hadn't been expecting. Her eyes opened, and she regarded him curiously from her lower vantage. Soon enough though talks turned to the state of the Galaxy, and any semblance of peace which had resided on her face vanished in the form of worry lines. "I see," she replied, better in some ways, worse in others, ever tumultuous and in motion. A damn shame to know that all they'd done was for naught.​

​

What was the point in any of it?​

​

There were a bunch of names she didn't understand, but she reckoned that eventually she'd come to terms with it. "And you're with who again..?" Had he told her, or had he just balked at the idea of it being the Republic? He couldn't remember. But in that she also got her answer on the Pyre. No more, then? Shame...​

​

As she pondered it all, another thought crossed her mind. "Seren" she muttered, brows knitting together in consideration of the name. "Asha Seren. That's my full name. I was a Jedi Master, Sentinel. I uh... Don't reckon that's the case anymore though. Did I know you, back then? It's all so hazy..."​

​

Cale Gunderson ​

 

[Cale Gunderson]

"Sounds like a nice place." Cale mused, all too eager to visit a place as far removed from his hell as was possible. In truth Cale wanted to drink in excess, and try to forget the horrors he'd just dredged up for himself and his company, but time on a calm beach seemed...rewarding. Like something he ought have sought out a long time ago for the sake of his own mental health if he'd actually taken any of that seriously. He let his lean back against the cool metal of the wall, and stared up at the ceiling.

She sounded surprised he'd stick around, and in truth so was he, it was one to give a stranger a ride, it was another to take them place to place. Two of the last three people he'd done that for now lived aboard the damn thing, and it was getting crowded. Still, he wondered, perhaps selfishly, if there wasn't something she could teach Aleks that he couldn't, common sense, maybe?

"Yeah, yeah I will, seems like a decent thing to do." The small smile resumed its place on his lips as the next question followed, he wasn't even sure if he had outright said who he was with, or just implied it, the whole conversation escalated rather quickly, and they hadn't even quite gotten to the part with the questions he'd actually meant to ask. But they had time, and plenty of it, the jump to Pelagon wasn't necessarily a short one.

"I'm technically with the Galactic Alliance and the New Jedi Order. I wasn't really at liberty to the specifics around the time the first version formed, but I think more or less they were born out of the Pyre and what was left of the Republic. But the Dark Lord wasn't interested in having me up to date with politics." A morbid joke, but that in and of itself made it just a bit funnier, and made things sting just a little less. It'd taken a long time for him to be able to make light of any of it.

"Asha Seren..." Cale muttered the name quietly to himself, it was familiar, but in a passing way, one he'd heard but never put a face to. "Cale Gunderson, never made master, was a Sentinel during the war with the Empire though, small galaxy. I don't think we ever met."

That of course neglected that he'd been fifteen when he first stepped into that war, and seventeen when it ended. Too young for warfare, too young for knighthood. He had good reason for keeping Aleks away from the battlefield, though something gnawed at him as a reminder that such things could not last forever.

"Might as well see who we knew mutually. Marek S'hadar's my brother, Rasu Gan is thus my in-law, uh, Syn, Joshua Drag-something, we were friends its just all...fuzzy. And Tallia Farn, knew T better than almost anyone. Know them?" There were more names to be sure, but their owners were dead, forgotten now by almost everyone. But maybe she'd jog his memory, or he'd jog hers. Or maybe they just wouldn't have any mutual acquaintances from two decades prior, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

Asha Seren​

 

[Asha Seren]

All things paled in comparison to the names he ended up speaking. She'd made some passing remark about how strange it was that they hadn't met yet served similar functions, about how yes, Pelagon was nice, and that she was appreciative for the help he'd afforded her, but those names...​

​

Asha shook her head, and felt those tears spring up anew. Eyes shifted skyward, settling just left of the overhead light, and she found herself willingly drawing upon the Force to quieten her racing mind. Stomach churned again, nausea rose within her, but this time she was somewhat grateful for it, for the need for it. It reminded her that she was alive...​

​

And if she was, so too perhaps were they.​

​

"Syn, Josh..." She breathed their names with a dreamlike whisper, "Like brothers... They were like brothers to me. Rasu I remember, too..." The others were vague impressions of names, but it was difficult to dredge them out of the haze surrounding the time of her death. Speaking of them just further set her heart in aching motion, and she lowered her head to look him in the eye.​

​

"My boys, my Padawans... I wonder, if you know of them. If they... If they're still out there, somewhere?" Her lips moved soundlessly for a moment, as she struggled to pull their names to her lips. She held his gaze when eventually she did, a fire burning inside that seemed all too resistant to the idea of them being gone too. "Jericho Hex. Thurion Heavenshield... My boys..."​

​

She searched his face for any semblance of familiarity before he could even begin to speak in response.​

​

Cale Gunderson ​

 

[Cale Gunderson]

They had mutual friends then, names they both knew, that was good. But the others posed a more complicated question, and Cale searched his memories for something about either of her former learners. Cale didn't want to give her silence as an answer, if he were to somehow suffer her fate now, the first thing on his mind would've been the boy currently checking over the life support systems somewhere over their heads. Nothing would've been more important to him. The attachment wasn't all that Jedi of him, but he didn't care, there were no masters here to judge him for his thoughts.

"The names are familiar, Heavenshield I know by reputation, Hex...I know the name I think. I've spent a lot of years away from the order, lived a lot of lives, I really couldn't say. I'm almost positive Thurion is alive, the man's quite the warrior from my understanding." He scratched the recesses of his mind, hoping to find more, but there was nothing there were no further answers there. But he hoped he'd helped, at least a little.

"I'll make you a deal, Asha. You tell me why you feel the way you do in the force, if you know, and I'll tell you why I've got this going on." It had to be addressed eventually, he had to know if she needed help, or more accurately how soon she would, but when he nodded his head to his absent arm, he maintained the slight smile. It was likely a painful story, but he didn't want her to feel trapped into telling it. He was just a friend, trying to understand what might've been wrong.

And maybe, what he could do to help.

Asha Seren ​

 

[Asha Seren]

One of them, at the very least, was alive.​

​

Asha's relief was palpable, not only visible on her expression but felt through the very fabric of the Force which hung between them. "A warrior?" she breathed, eyes closing to picture it. It wasn't difficult, of course, he'd always been something of a guardian to those in need, he exemplified what it meant to be a Jedi even during the very start of his training. Protective, careful, selfless. And he'd always enjoyed the lessons which pertained to glowsticks...​

​

She dropped her head into her hands, though this time it was not grief which gripped her but euphoria. All was not lost then, it hadn't all been for naught...​

​

"Thank you" she said, not for the first time that day. A cause to carry on, oh how easy it would have been to succumb to the turbulent nature of her present state, to lose herself at the bottom of society, or wander on aimlessly evermore. Hope... News of Thurion Heavenshield 's continued existence brought her nothing less than hope.​

​

But more than that, it gave her a reason to remain guarded. Not necessarily with Cale, no she'd come to realize there was at least some measure of trust to be had where he was concerned, but until she knew for certain that Darth Carnifex wasn't using her, or tracking her, she'd have to exercise caution.​

​

And that meant making the most difficult decision of all. She'd have to leave the boy in the dark.​

​

"Don't let him know" she said, even as that thought hadn't fully finished forming within her mind. "Please. I can't bring him into this... Whatever's going on, I won't risk him too."​

​

Cale's next words had her sitting in thought. Her head had lifted some when she'd made her request, and now that he'd made his she made a further attempt at meeting his gaze. Back to wavering though, not entirely able to look him in the eye given the subject matter.​

​

"Okay," she agreed. At some point the truth would have to spill out, anyway. She rubbed her forehead, drew her hand down to press her thumb and index against the bridge of her nose, and then sighed.​

​

"In my youth I developed a Force Bond with another Padawan. One of the newer Knights in our Academy saw fit to sever it, he stated that it went against our more traditionalist teachings. That it was a form of attachment that we weren't permitted to have." For all that she couldn't remember of her life, moments such as those stood out so clearly even now.​

​

"The other found the connection was severed cleanly, but... On my end it was poorly executed. It left a hole where the other had taken up space. A wound, the Council called it. Sickness in the Force which bled from me." She grimaced, that whole thing had been a mess. Easily avoided, too. But no, one jumped up man's hasty decision had caused her a lot of pain and suffering, and a lengthy recovery process.​

​

"The Council worked with me to slowly repair it, and ultimately they found some method to patch it up. I thought that was that... Went on living as though nothing was amiss. And nothing was..."​

​

Finally her eyes met his.​

​

"Apparently the fix didn't transcend death. Whatever Kaine did to bring me back, it pulled that with it too. I'm afraid I don't know how they stopped it the first time. I have no remedy on hand, and I apologize for exposing you to it."​

​

She'd need to find someone who could fix it, or outright remove it, sooner rather than later. Even now, even having just a few hours with it unrestrained by the shackles, she could feel it sapping at her. And if he felt it so readily, then it would be hard to keep hidden.​

​

"If I can't find a way to resolve the issue before we come into contact with more of your Order I'll submit myself to whatever entity they deem fit to deal with it. I don't know that I'm ready to return to all of that..." Understatement, she knew she wasn't ready to exist around Jedi once more. Frankly the idea terrified her. "... But for the sake of you and your boy, I'll make you that promise."​

​

Cale Gunderson ​

 

[Cale Gunderson]

"I know of Thurion, we've never met I don't think. You don't need to worry about me running to tell him, you'll do that on your own time., when you're ready" Cale tried to assure her as he began to finally appreciate the cool air of the hold they'd found themselves in. It was the small comforts he'd found that made life bearable over the years, among other things. But he steadied himself and listened closely. The tale started innocently enough, two padawans with a clear connection who didn't lack the courage to act upon, he envied that, and almost lost himself to the fantasy of 'what if' before bringing back his focus.

As with everything else in the galaxy, their innocence was punished, this time by someone clinging to a tradition centuries out of date. One of them broke clean, and she was left with the jagged edges, and even as she told him of the council's healing, he drew the same conclusion as she did. The healing had been confined to one body, whereas the wound was in the force itself, and thus followed her from host to host. The force was a strange, mysterious thing, one that he did not bother to try uncovering the secrets of, and he couldn't even find it in himself to be horribly surprised it followed her after death.

After all, it could let people return from death, why wouldn't a wound follow? It was too cruel to not be true.

"Enough apologies Asha, you haven't done anything wrong. You're hurt, I'd be a sorry excuse for a Jedi if I took the suffering of others as an offense rather than something to aid." He barely recognized his own voice, laced with such high ideals. How many suffering people had he ignored over the years, too busy wallowing in his own misery to raise a hand in their defense? Sure he'd fought for the alliance at first under a different name to seek some kind of atonement, but he'd given up after the wound and a few botched tries. It'd taken Aleks and Hector being set upon by that Inquisitor for him to even start acting as he cared about someone beyond himself.

"You don't owe me or the boy anything. We're helping you 'cause it's right, if you wanna come home then we'll take you, but that'll be of your own accord." He knew what it was like to be fearful of the order, of how they might judge, and though he knew that worry had been for naught now, that was a recent revelation. All his life he'd been the subject of other people's decisions and obligations being forced upon him, he refused to continue that cycle himself.

Asha Seren ​

 

[Asha Seren]

She sat and listened to all he had to say in response with quiet contemplation that seemed to hang between them even after. What could she even say beyond another thank you? Knowing that he wouldn't force her out of the shadows until she was ready was a welcome relief, but knowing that he put no pressure on her to immediately fix the issue?​

​

That was wholly unexpected.​

​

Didn't mean she wouldn't try, of course, she would. It wasn't a nice thing to live with, after all. But he brought no judgement to the table only patience.​

​

No doubt residual from whatever hells he'd faced himself once he'd been freed from the grip of some puppeteer.​

​

"Okay" she eventually responded. As she did so, Asha forced herself up and from the floor to her feet. There was a slight wobble to the action, an uneasiness in her limbs, but she didn't let it stop her. Her head bowed slightly. "I have no home to be taken to, not anymore" she remarked, "But I'll find somewhere, and I appreciate your patience and hospitality in the meantime."​

​

Where that would be exactly, and what it would entail, she did not know. Did the Jedi lie in her future, or was it a simpler life she longed for? If none knew she was back, could she be afforded such?​

​

Deep down she understood that such was dependent on the state of the Galaxy. She'd never been one to stand by while injustices were happening, after all. But if the Conclave was gone, and the Republic was no more, then where?​

​

Cale Gunderson ​