The Third Stage

[Tamara Wren]

"I didn't bring any of them with me," she said. It hadn't occurred to her to. "But if we can get...."

Falling silent as they stepped into the back room, catching sight of the supplies. It surprised her, that he painted.

She followed behind, glancing around, taking it in. Seeing the differences clearly- they weren't subtle after all.

"It's more like it doesn't matter what I want to paint when I sit down. That's just... what gets painted. I don't.... remember.... the things I'm painting. It's not like something done from memory. And when I'm done I don't recognize it specifically. I couldn't tell you what it is, or where."

A pause as she looked over the corner with his canvas.

"Other than that they are definitely the Netherworld," she finished softly.

She couldn't really help it. She wandered over, looking over the work closely, but not saying anything.

"Different yeah," came the absent response. "But...." she stopped, turning around to face him. Looking at him differently now. It made sense. The shadow, the way he'd recognized it on her. She'd been wrapped up enough in her own issue that she hadn't really thought about it, but it all clicked together now.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

They both knew it wasn't an apology. More like a recognition.

[member="Julian Imani"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Tamara Wren"]

Yeah.

His hunch was already being confirmed.

It was clear to him that at his death something had gone wrong. A part of her had been left there. It was still there. But instead of being completely separated from that part, there was still a connection between them. He could taste it on her. Dormant for the most part. Until something triggered it out of dormancy and caused things to happen... like those drawings by the sound of it.

But.

Still a theory.

At least until she showed it to him in truth. "I hear ya, cyattie, feel whatcha sayin. Be free. Take whatcha need an' show me whatcha got." He settled in against the desk to watch her work.

That is where he blinked.

Oh. Tamara was a sweet one, wasn't she? Julian nodded and thought about it for a moment. Then- "Dun was death dat touched me, eh? Akala." Most people had heard of it since the Crisis. Trillions of people suddenly vanishing without a trace. The truth had slowly filtered through as they found their way back into realspace. "Sum reason me never find da way back like most, ya? Spend a decade there."

Considering he looked to be about in his late 20s that would tell her how young he must have been.

"Found mah way back with da shadowman's help."

A shrug.

"Ya told ya story, dis be mine. Bargain done."

 

[Tamara Wren]

She nodded, recognizing the 'bargain done' for what it was. The end of that discussion. She didn't pry further, she knew about Akala- who didn't?- and what had happened. Their experiences were entirely different. But there was a certain something she couldn't put a word to about knowing that, at least in part, they understood each other in that.

Tamara focused on setting up after that. Putting his canvas aside, setting up a new one. Adjusting the height of the easel so she could work standing. Paints, brushes. She didn't know what colours she would need, but she didn't ever anyway these days so that was no more trouble than usual. She commandeered a small side table, so she could set things up to put anything she would need within touch distance. Glancing around, she finally shrugged off the cloak, and found a spot to put it over the back of a chair.

With a frown, she regarded the canvas for a minute. She never knew, not until the first slide of the brush. Reaching out, tentative, a slender black line rippling out.

She had warned him, but not really. Not entirely. Once that first, snaking line was set to the canvas everything around her fell away. If he moved, said anything, she wouldn't notice. A light touch would mean nothing, though on one occasion her father had literally shaken her out of it. It had been bad.... for both of them. He hadn't done it again.

Movements were defined and confident. Each line, each stroke of the brush laid down with no hint of hesitation. Bold and intense. Time passed without recognition. Each change of brush, change of colour, and the motions picked up speed. Each time there was a delay for any reason, the movements grew faster once in contact again with the canvas. By the end, it was clear that there was no way someone was painting with deliberation. It was chaotic and instinctual. But still without a single stroke out of place.

By the time she stepped back, the sun was low enough through the window that it made her blink and squint, though she had seemed not to notice it even a minute before. There was paint smudged on her hands, forearms and face from where it has spattered toward the end, but she didn't seem to notice that either.

Suicide cliffs over a snaking river. Blacks and greens, sickly yellows. In the distance, a plain of thorns.

She didn't remember painting any of it.

[member="Julian Imani"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Tamara Wren"]

Julian waited patiently for her to begin painting.

Then waited for her to get into it.

Once that happened Jul wandered on over. Touched her shoulder. Snapped his fingers in front of her eyes. "Mm, see dat, shadowman? No input, non." A soft wave in front of her eyes caused Tam to growl under her breath. Nothing more than that though. "Dem's be switched, ya feel da, ya?" Julian scratched his chin and pondered on that. "Da part dere is 'ere now. Ya ya ya."

That made things... more complicated.

But also easier.

"Ya can use da link, ya? Mmm. Thought so. Thought so." After that Julian just settled down and watched her paint. The other her anyway. The way the strokes fell, the sheer mania behind it.

Sometimes he stood up. Stretched a bit.

Got some tea. Some food. Even managed to grab her some, putting it on the table next to him. It took long for her to finish. But eventually she did and Jul rose when he saw the change come over her. "Ahh, welcome back, cyattie. Das was education. Thank ya, ya ya." A nod as he came over. Settling next to her and studying the painting that had made shape over the hours.

"No memories o' it, yah?"

He knew the answer, of course.

"Sit down, have some o' da grub. Nuthin' special but ya wan' nah?"

 

[Tamara Wren]

She was always tired when this was over. It wasn't like painting had been before. Then, she'd always come out of it, if not energized, at least content and settled. Grounded. Now, she was just exhausted, and it showed in the lines of her face. The tightness around her eyes. She'd been standing that entire time, and while she didn't sit right down, she did lean slightly, resting her hip against the chair next to her. Tired enough that when Julian settled in right next to her, she didn't move.

Tamara shook her head.

"Not a one," she said wearily.

She only noticed the food when he pointed it out. She wasn't hungry, but then, she never was after a session like this. That didn't mean she didn't need to eat however. Nodding, she finally took that seat, brow furrowing and a bit of a stretch in her lower back before able to get comfortable.

"So that helped then?" She asked, trying the food. "Thank you, this is good," she said, then paused as she brought the cup of tea up to her nose. Eyes widened a little and she stopped, just breathing in deeply. It was lukewarm by now, rather than hot and steaming, but even then, the scent was earthy and spicy. She took a small, exploratory sip.

"This," she said, looking at him over the rim. "Is really good."

[member="Julian Imani"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Tamara Wren"]

"Helpful is." Jul assured her calmly as his eyes roamed the painting. His fingers followed the lines, not touching the paint yet so it can dry, but clearly being very impressed with the drawing in front of him.

A smile brightened his expression at the compliment. "Oooho, cyattie know her tea, dun she? Thank ya, I can pour more later, yah?"

"Bargain made. Bargain done."

Every time. He said that.

Like a mantra. A thing that was coded in his being and maybe it was to a degree. Maybe that reminder was important to him. To remind him that there was always a give or take. Never just a take. Never just a give. Otherwise... it wasn't fair. "Carnifex left part of yo soul there, Tam. I dunno if on purpose." Maybe not. Maybe it was just sloppy or maybe the Sith have other priorities.

It was odd.

"Ya still be linked to it, ya? Is yo soul. Whatcha be painting ain't a vision. No memory. Its the now space. What ya be seeing. Dig?" It was probably a lot to take in at once and he paused. Letting her figure it out internally.

Then-

"Shadowman can follow da smol strand holdin' ya two grouped. Mhmm, can, he can. Ain't an easy thing."

 

[Tamara Wren]

"Oh.... no," she said, frowning slightly, more at herself than him, "I don't really know tea. I just.... like it is all. But if it's no trouble.... "

And if she was still here later anyway.

"Why do you always say that?" She asked suddenly. "Bargain made, bargain done." He'd said it at least three times now. It was just a cup of tea.

The question left her mind a moment later however, when Julian continued. A shiver slipped down her spine like a trickle of ice water. She frowned again, concerned and thoughtful. She didn't THINK it had been on purpose, but then, what did she know of the Netherworld, the process that had brought her back? Did it matter if he had?

It very well might.

That she had to sit with.

"Can-" she hesitated, unsure. "Follow it..... to get it back?"

Dark eyes cast down, looking as if they were very intent on the craftsmanship of the cup in her hands. "Or to sever the connection?" She was afraid that was going to be his answer. The hunch of those shoulders broadcasting the preparation for that being the answer.

[member="Julian Imani"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Tamara Wren"]

In truth the bargain made, bargain done had not been about the tea.

Instead it had been about the painting... and the truth about her soul in return.

Neither of them brought it up out loud though. So it would have to remain in obliviousness for now. "Da's easy, cyattie. A reminder da nothing in life is free, ya?" A shrug followed as his fingers reached the end of the canvass. The painting broke off there. But he could almost see the rest of it. It existed after all. With just enough power he wondered if they could just step on through.

Make this a gateway.

But that was beyond him. For now. "There be a price. Always." Julian was about to answer her second question. Then she continued. The expression of her shoulders told him enough about her opinion.

"Is ya soul, Tam. Ya price to pay. We do whatcha hire us for, eh?"

Shadowman said something and Julian eyed him.

"Dun much care if da shard is heavy, shadow boy. Ya gon' haul it all da way back there, if miss remnant 'ere wants it an' pays da price."

 

[Tamara Wren]

He was right but.... he was also wrong.

Tamara had grown up as part of a clan. A family. There was give and take, yes, there had to be. But things were done to help each other because it was good to do so, not because of what you would get in return. Sure, there were things in life like that, but surely he didn't mean everything.

Didn't he?

So why did it feel like he did?

His answer to the second part made her hesitate. He'd already made it clear that it wasn't about credits. This was absolutely a thing she expected to pay for... she just didn't know how yet. Her eyes coasted to the shadow, not minding apparently if she could see it right now, before back to him. The unspoken question of 'what is the price' was held back for the moment. Instead:

"Why is it heavy?"

Concern and curiosity mixed in equal measure.

[member="Julian Imani"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Tamara Wren"]

It was all a matter of perspective.

Tamara was one of the clan. The pack. Even if she didn't like some of them, they were part of a family. Julian? Not. He was a lone figure, his sole 'friend' a spirit bound to him and basically using him as a possession. That sure did do a lot to color your perspective on the world, no? Perhaps it was that realization. The knowledge that both of them were coming from different sides, that made them not argue about it.

What was the point?

It would be like a fish discussing the experience on land. Or vice versa.

"Why heavy?" Jul blinked. Glanced over to the shadow. He wasn't of much help. Just curled up against the heat of the radiator. Kept himself there. It wasn't a surprise that he let Julian do the heavy lifting. "Is ya passion, cyattie. Yah? Ya hunger. Ya feel for life an' all around da."

A shrug followed.

"Is why ya dun' feel much dese days. Been ripped away from ya. Da experience to savor and experience." It was obvious to him that she'd want that back. He couldn't imagine anyone being fine with that hollow feeling. That blankness over your entire spirit. Not being able to feel. Experience. Hunger for things. Muted. No joy in any of it anymore.

"Ya got a decision then?"

 

[Tamara Wren]

It was like he had held up a puzzle piece she hadn't even known she had been missing. The puzzle only half finished, still so many pieces out of place, but getting stuck, unable to continue because you could not find the piece you needed. Assuming it was in the box, digging digging digging.

Until he came along, with a too bright smile in a dark face, holding it up between his fingers.

Offered.

Just out of reach.

If you wanted to lean in and take it.

The question was.... what was in his other hand?

She wasn't shocked by the information. It made too much sense to be surprised by it. But she didn't answer right away. This entirely time they had talked, they had gone at his pace. Hoping from topic to topic, Tamara barely able to keep up without feeling slightly off balance. Now, here, he waited for her.

"What..." she said slowly, mulling over the words. "Is the price?"

Her thoughts went to her father. What he had pledged to the Dark Lord for her return. Really? It hadn't cost him much. It merely offered him an outlet. But it could have been. Could have been more. Something untenable. She looked up from the mug in her hands, dark eyes level on his face.

What was the price?

[member="Julian Imani"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Tamara Wren"]

In that moment Jul slowed down.

The question came and Julian didn't immediately respond. Didn't make no quip. Change subject. No nothing. Instead he kept staring at the painting, drinking it in. Every little detail while pondering the price. "Dere's be two prices, ya?" Jul finally responded. Still his attention on the painting. "Mah price." It stretched out as he mulled. "'is price, dem's be the thing."

Finally then the witch glanced over to Tam.

"I wan' know ya journey. Start to finish, dig?" His hand tapped the side of his face, dragging a line that resembled her tattoos. "All ya tats, I wan' see 'em. Draw 'em. By da end dey be burned in my eyes. Feel 'em. Touch 'em."

A shrug.

"Til I know dem by 'eart."

Only then did Julian lower his hand. Flipping it until his palm was aiming at the ceiling. Shadows gathered. They drew away from the shadow he made. Supposedly. Until finally Shadowman perched there. Now Julian was without a shadow of his own. The spirit dropped off the palm and carefully trundled about, towards Tam. Taking their time with it.

Growing more substantial and more physical by the step.

 

[Tamara Wren]

Julian's request made her flush. It was, on the surface, such a small thing, wasn't it? Ultimately it would cost her nothing. Such a strange trade for something that she knew, even if not herself but in an academic sort of way, would take no small amount of time and energy to complete. It was oddly personal however. There were pieces she'd never shown anyone. Not because she was hiding them perse, merely because there had been no one that would have seen them. Harmless and yet.....

It wasn't until the shadow moved that the tension in the room shifted.

She wasn't afraid. Perhaps she should have been.

But she had no doubt that it's request wouldn't be anything so simple as Julian's had been.

Dark eyes watched it. Tamara stilled, not moving from where she sat. As it coalesced, she felt a tug. Not a voice, but an understanding.

"A favor?" She asked, surprised and a touch wary. "That is.... very open ended."

Which, she was certain, was the point.

Her eyes moved back to Julian, a small frown on her face.

"That's not a price. That's a promise of a price."

[member="Julian Imani"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Tamara Wren"]

By the time her eyes moved back towards Julian she might have noticed it.

The small frown eyeing the shadow as he made his request.

Finally they let up, looking into hers. "Dem's be the trick, Tam, he play by different rules, ya?" The cat slowly turned around. Focusing his attention on Julian again for a moment. The tug on him now. Julian seemed at ease about it. Not worried. Even going so far as to wave with his hand. Waving the issue away. "Naw, brejin, ya got ya ways an' me got mine, yah?" Finger tapped on his lips for a bit. As if he was thinking about something, maybe even his own deal with Shadowman.

"Dun gon' convince ya, but lookatit from 'is perspective, hm? He gon' do the travel. Find dis spot where ya soul shard be. Then- carry it with. But da Netherworld ain't no joke, yah? Is hell. And hell..." He hummed softly, smiling a bit at that notion.

"Is be hungry. Jealous lovah. Dun let go easy... ya ya yah."

A shrug.

"So da favor might be smol. Might be large. Shadowman 'ere cannae knew 'til he does it, yah?"

 

[Tamara Wren]

She nodded at his responses. It made sense. Just like she needed to know the price before agreeing to it, Shadowman COULDN'T know the price until he knew just how difficult it was going to be. She didn't like it. But then, she didn't have to.

Silence for a moment, mulling. Considering.

"I had thought.... from what I knew," she said slowly. "That the reason I was different was because the Nether changes things. It turns out that isn't the case here, but that is still true, isn't it? And the longer something is there, the more it might change?"

She looked back up at him, face troubled.

"I was only there a few days- I barely remember it. When I came back out, it felt like an eternity had passed, but I didn't remember. Not really. What are the chances that, with this piece returned, I'll go back to what I was? Or is it likely that is not possible? I'm sorry.... I know you probably can't answer for sure. But. Your best guess. The risks."

[member="Julian Imani"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Tamara Wren"]

Wasn't it?

Even a few hours in the Netherworld did change the essence of things.

Maybe not as much as she had assumed, but things could be different. Could. How was Julian to know without knowing Tamara in the very first place? Impossible. Hence him not trying to guess at all. "Da's be da essence of it, cyattie, ya ya ya." Maybe it would make Tamara wonder just who Julian had been.

Before spending years in there.

Surviving.

Or maybe she was so preoccupied with her own dealings that it didn't come up. Jul might have liked that more anyway. The less of his secrets were out? The better.

That one made Julian hesitate.

The Shadowman trundled on over, brushing against her leg (if allowed) before slowly approaching the hearth. Cold right now. Until it hissed softly at it. Moments passed. Then. Fire lit up all of a sudden. "There be only guesses here, ya, Tam? Cannae know for sure." But she knew that already. His fingers brushed the line of his jaw. Pondering on the implications, before shrugging. "Dem's not be likely. Dere be differences, always. Jus' be dependin' on how strong ya soul is."

Or a fraction of it anyway.

Tap of his temple.

"Cautious, yah? Risk be great. Shadowman an' me... mmm, can mitigate sum. Not all. No. Ya passion be burning darker, me thinks, ya? Harder. Hungrier. Da's be the heart of da Nether... is. Yah. Yah, yah, yah."

 

[Tamara Wren]

Another time, another situation, she would have wondered. But this was big enough and personally enough that she was a bit more wrapped up in it than would allow for serious introspection of what that confirmation meant for him. Especially because she had met him only several hours before. A clan member? Possibly. A near stranger, no matter what he was like?

Unlikely.

She didn't flinch away from the Shadow. It brushed past her, like a cold breeze, sending a slight shiver through her. She watched as it traveled the rest of the way across the room, frown never leaving her face.

"If I say yes...." She said slowly, looking down at her hands for a moment. Not at Julian as she spoke. "And I decide at the last minute that I have changed my mind..... as long as I am still willing to adhere to my end of the bargain- I pay my debts- would that be possible?"

Tam was a thinker. The one time she had acted without thought, without consideration... that had been the beginning of the events that had led to her death. She never could have been described as incautious before. But now she was positively hesitant in this regard.

On the one hand, she wanted time to think, to consider. On the other hand.... she did not want to breath another moment in the stillness that surrounded her now.

[member="Julian Imani"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Tamara Wren"]

Eyes sharpened.

If she had been looking at him rather than her hands she might have noticed the hunger.

It was covered up quickly. "If ya be payin' ya debt? Dun' see why not, eh?" A shrug of the shoulders. "I be curious what would happen, aye, buuuut shoving da soul back in without ya say?" Waggles hand, before he walked on over towards the hearth. Passing Tamara by, brushing past her easily.

Casually.

Shadowman had already crawled into the fire.

Curled up and enjoying the heat. "If ya decide to refuse da shard back, I take for me, fair?" Glancing over his shoulder, brushing the edge of his brow in some sort of salute.

"Severe da connect. Visions? Done."

 

[Tamara Wren]

She turned with him as he bushed past, introspective and frowning. Following his pathway to the fireplace. His shadow stretched the wrong way, toward the light, the inky dollop in the embers. Into the fire.

A deal with a devil. Shadowman.... or Julian? Did it matter? They were connected. Not, however, the same. He had been honest- not honey coating the words. The answers had not been everything she wanted to hear. Far from it. But could she trust him? Was he telling the truth? She had no reason to think he hadn't been up until now and yet.....

A wariness flickered across her face then however. Eyeing him.

"Why would you want it?" She asked cautiously. Just as before, she made no agreement at the moment. Insufficient information.

"What would you do with it?"

She stood up, but didn't move toward the fire. Just sort of hovered, indecisively. Waiting.

[member="Julian Imani"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Tamara Wren"]

Smarter now.

That was good.

In truth Julian got bored when someone got blinded by their own ego. Their own hype. It seemed that the brief moment of emotions were finally simmering down, allowing Tamara to see the danger. The risks. That was far more interesting than tricking a fool into a deal. "Whatcha gon' do with a shard ya dun' use, eh? Keep it close an' it will radiate to ya anyway." Julian countered immediately afterwards. Turning towards her. The flames behind him, the shadow inside.

It made a strange image.

That was the crux of the matter though. If she just kept it? It would still influence her. Even while severed. Because it was hers and the memories would always remain.

"Study it, 'course. How often ya think I hold a figment of a soul in mah hands?"

Not very often.

Ever since he had been thrown out of the Netherworld his interest in that strange realm had only increased. Exponentially. How it worked. The realms within, the spirits, it was all tied together and it fascinated Julian beyond measure. To hold a shard that had been connected to Tamara throughout it all? It could provide him with a new avenue. A new path to study. His way was not the way of the good Doctor... but it didn't have to be. He had his own little tricks.

A shrug followed.

"Ya make ya decisions, cyattie, I ain't in no rush. Tho." Pointing at her a bit. "Longer ya wait, longer ya soul is stuck there, dig?"