The Stunning Truth (personal story arc)

[Taeli Raaf]

Taeli sighed as her shuttle touched down on the planet Lorrd, the quiet city of researchers and teachers was in the mid-afternoon. She couldn't help but feel a little uneasy as this would be the first time she had returned home in a very long time and would be the first time she would be seeing her parents in person since joining the Sith.

She might have talked with them constantly over the holo, but this was different. After the last few battles in the war, and her pondering thoughts lately, she needed to get some answers from her mother and father. She just hoped they wouldn't be too upset over the faction she had joined.

Straightening her dress and keeping her lightsabers in her satchel, she lowered the ramp into the chilly morning of Lorrd City and began the walks towards her parents' home.

 

[Taeli Raaf]

She had missed Lorrd, she realized, as she walked down familiar streets. Every now and then, she would see someone she had known, but instead of greeting them, she would turn her face and keep walking. She didn't know why she was so nervous, but something just didn't feel right about coming back here.

Stopping in front of her favorite bookshop, she looked at herself in the window. Not much had changed in her physical appearance, even from using the dark side for a while now, but there were some changes in aesthetics. When she had last been on Lorrd, her dresses had not been made of synth-silk, her hair had not been as silky and long, and she hadn't carried herself in the graceful way she did now.

Her parents were going to wonder about that, she knew as she continued on, and they were going to wonder what exactly she had been up to. She had alluded to the fact she was working for a powerful group and was relatively high up in it. They had been proud of her, but she had always changed the subject when the group's identity came up, as she knew what her mother thought of Sith.

Her father might be more open to them, having studied both major Force user organizations, but then he could also be far more aware of what they had done in the past and hate her for joining them, instead of just studying them. Blinking, she was startled to find herself standing in front of their door already. Reaching up her hand to knock, she hesitated. Her senses were screaming that something was going to happen, something life-changing, but she wrote that off as nerves. She knocked on the door.

 

[Taeli Raaf]

The door was opened immediately and she was pulled into a bear hug by her father.

"Taeli! We weren't expecting you!" he yelled, happiness pouring off his Force presence. Taeli was smiling into his shoulder as she allowed the happiness to wash over her. She was glad to be able to let her guard down here at least. "Your mother and I were just sitting down to have lunch, care to join us?"

"Oh yes, I haven't had any of your cooking in so long," she said, and just like that she had reverted to just being nearly 23 year old coming home to her parents after a long trip.

Leading her into the sitting room, her mother smiled from the couch, a plate of sliders in front of her along with two cups of tea. Taeli happily settled herself into the chair across from her parents, after of course, her mother had hugged and kissed her.

"So, tell us all about what you've been up to," Melarna Rae asked her daughter. "And this time, don't leave anything out or shift subjects. I can always tell when you're lying to us about something."

"Uh . . . I don't know where to begin," Taeli said, fidgeting slightly under her mother's gaze. Her father was helping himself to a slider, fully content to allow his Mandalorian wife to lead the 'interrogation.' "I guess I'll start by saying I'm doing very well for myself, Balaya has certainly been very generous."

"This Professor Balaya, I haven't been able to find any of her works," Jakon Rae said, jumping in with his own question. "What field did you say she was in?"

"Zoology," Taeli replied, not thinking it would be helpful to mention that Balaya was Darth Praelior and her master. "She likes to keep to herself, doesn't publish very often."

"I never thought you would take an interest in animals, you were always my little history bug," Jakon grumbled.

"I still study history," she retorted with a slight whine to her voice, getting defensive.

"Are you still trying to find someone to control your abilities?" Melarna asked. "I notice you seem much more relaxed about it."

"I . . . uh . . . yea, someone helped me with that," Taeli said, her nervousness growing. "So I had a few questions and. . ."

"No changing the subject," Melarna said, almost harshly. "Who helped you so your father and I know who to thank for getting that stuff suppressed?"

"Suppressed?" Taeli said, surprised by the venomous feelings towards the Force she was feeling from her mother. "No, no, no they taught me to control and use them. Why are you saying they should be suppressed? You're the one who said I got my Force Sensitivity from you."

"You can use the Force?" Jakon asked, but he was cut off by his wife saying, "Because the Force corrupts and twists things. It's a crutch for people to lean on."

"But, it has expanded my knowledge of the galaxy," Taeli protested. "It has broadened my horizons beyond anything i could think of."

"Who taught you?" her mother pressed, her eyes narrowing. "So now I know who to go and break for twisting your nature."

"What?! No, nothing got twisted, I'm still me," Taeli said, looking into her mother's eyes, then her father's. Still not a single hint of purple in either.

"Answer your mother," Jakon said quietly.

"Fine! Fine! Balaya taught me," she said.

"Then I forbid you from having anything to do with this Professor Balaya again," Melarna said with finality. "She is obviously a bad influence on you and. . ."

"No!" Taeli said, cutting her mother off and standing. "She taught me so many things, and is still teaching me amazing things. Unnatural things, yes, but amazing things. She even lets me use her lab on Coruscant and. . ."

"Coruscant? This Professor Balaya is able to avoid the notice of the Sith and teach you about the Force on Coruscant?" Jakon asked, confusion rising from him.

"I doubt she's unaffiliated with the Sith, dear," Melarna said, and Taeli felt her heart sink. "She is isn't she?"

Taeli was silent for a long moment, taking in her mother's anger and her father's growing concern. She couldn't lie anymore, but maybe they would understand more when she explained she was a Sith, and yet was still their little girl.

"Yes, she's a Sith . . . and so am I," Taeli whispered.

 

[Taeli Raaf]

Silence stretched through the Rae sitting room for what felt like an eternity. Taeli was praying to whatever force was behind, well the Force, that her parents wouldn't explode at her. She could feel almost pure hate rolling off her mother, and she had no idea why. Yes, she was a Sith, and yes they did horrible things, but she was still their daughter. Still the woman they had raised her to be. Her father was horrified, and yet still slightly interested in what his daughter would say.

"You're a Sith," her mother whispered, her hatred following through each hissed syllable. "Our daughter has become a monster and. . ."

"No! I'm not a monster!" Taeli protested. "I'm still me, I joined the Sith to control my powers and . . . I found out I was powerful, like really powerful. I'm a Sith Lady, Mom, Dad, but I'm still me. I'm still the scholarly student who doesn't drink, who would prefer spending hours reading or practicing fencing before doing anything else. I'm still. . ."

"I told you this would happen eventually," Melarna Rae said to her husband scathingly. "I told you when we got her that she was . . . different and would end up a karking Force User, but i never thought we had raised her so wrong to think she would join the Sith."

Got . . . what did her mother mean by . . . got . . .

"What do you mean by got?" Taeli whispered.

"Your mother means nothing," her father quickly tried to say, but Melarna's presence had turned almost cruel. Her Mandalorian side, the side that enjoyed pushing her daughter to her limits but also contained her mother's more vindictive side, was now out to play.

"Yes, got," Melarna said cuttingly. "I didn't give birth to you, we adopted you and while I was always proud of you, I regret that decision now if you were going to become a Sith in the future."

Adopted. . . she was . . . adopted. . .

Taeli felt like her whole world had just shrunk down, and she at first thought maybe it was her mother being spiteful, but pieces started clicking into her mind, even if she didn't want them to. Her purple eyes, the brown roots she had found to her hair, her Force Sensitivity.

Adopted. . .

"Melarna, please, we said we would never mention that to her," Jakon said, and Taeli's heart sank further. Her emotional maelstrom was making her head spin as her father confirmed what her mother said. Worse, they were never planning to tell her. . . They lied to her for so long. . .

Her father was saying, ". . .and I know we promised them that we would tell her when she was older, but she's our little girl."

"She's a Sith, Jakon, she's no longer our little girl," Melarna said and Taeli could feel tears beginning on the edges of her eyes.

"No, I still am, even if I'm. . . adopted," Taeli whispered, fighting the tears.

"You killed those three boys on the day you disappeared didn't you?" Melarna said, twisting the knife in further and now her father froze.

"I did, but. . ." Taeli started to explain, but her mother was already shutting down her words, and her father. . . her father's view of her was changing as well.

"They were torn apart, bones broken," Jakon muttered quietly. "You did that?"

Taeli could feel her heart breaking as her father started to develop the same horror and hatred her mother had. No, not her father, no.

 

[Taeli Raaf]

"They tried to violate me!" Taeli yelled. "It was pure instinct and. . ."

"So your instincts were to kill instead of just subdue?" Melarna asked, a snide tone in her voice. "What they did was monstrous, and they deserved to be imprisoned, but you murdered them. No, butchered them!"

"I joined the Sith to stop that from happening again!" Taeli yelled, tears rolling down her cheeks now. Why wouldn't her mother listen?! "I didn't want to be a victim and I didn't want to lose control like that again!"

"Ha!" her father said. "The Sith always lose control, I taught you that much. The fact you killed them that way shows just what sort of monster you were deep down inside. Congratulations, my daughter, you have become exactly the monster you didn't want to fall victim to."

"No! I'm not a monster!" she screamed, besides herself now. The emotions were so painful right now, her parents' hate of her so unexpected and hurting so much. Why couldn't they understand that a Sith didn't need to be evil, didn't need to be the monsters that stories and history taught they were? Why couldn't they understand that SHE wasn't a monster?!

"You're wrong Jakon, she's not our daughter anymore," Melarna Rae said, every word cutting into Taeli's already breaking heart. The cold hate of her mother, and the feeling of absolute truth within those words, hurt her far more. But what hurt even worse, was her father's nod of agreement and his presence echoing what his wife's was.

Her family. . . She needed family. . . Family was . . .important . . . Family was . . . everything in the end.

"Where are my real parents then, if you aren't mine anymore?" she asked, her voice cracking from the sadness gripping her every fiber of being.

"We aren't at liberty to say, Sith," Melarna scowled. "We won't let you darken their name, you've already done that to ours."

"Dad . . . please . . . who and where are they . . ." she said, begging as tears fell thick from her eyes.

"You won't get any information from me . . . Sith," he said, his voice dripping with animosity.

That was the final thing that broke her, and with her breaking . . . she lost control.

 

[Taeli Raaf]

Palpable waves of Force energy starting lashing out around her as she closed her eyes, tears falling thick and fast now. Her world, her support that had been her parents, had crumbled. She wanted to scream, to rage, to cry, to laugh, to . . . it was too much. Too much!

"Too much!!!!" she screamed, the Force energy rocketing out of her and smashing everything in its path. Pieces of china, knick knacks, datapad, and other small objects started flying through the air. Her 'parents' were thrown backwards over the couch and into the wall behind them, yelling in pain from the impact. Taeli couldn't comprehend anything, her entire focus was on the fact her parents had just told her she wasn't their daughter anymore, that they hated her. . .

Another shockwave of Force energy rocketed out from around her, she had no control over the outpouring of energy, she couldn't even say if it was a technique she knew. It was simple raw instinct and power lashing out as she collapsed to her knees. The furniture nearest her exploded into splinters and shredded cushions, the debris rocketing around the room in an almost whirlwind fashion. No control . . . no control at all . . .

"Taeli!" Jakon yelled, straining against the storm that their daughter was radiating. While he hated what she became, and he agreed with his wife, right now his fatherly instinct was kicking in. His daughter was having an emotional collapse right in front of him, because of them and this was far different than last time.

Melarna had never seen a Force User lose control like this, their daughter was incredibly powerful. She was now more concerned than ever, but she couldn't move. The energy exploding out from their daughter was too much to move against.

Hearing her father's voice, the voice of someone who she loved that hated her now, that has cast her aside easily, just made it worse. Another, even stronger, wave exploded out from her and she screamed, "TOO MUCH!!!!" The latest wave of energy blew apart everything around her, huge shards of the floor and walls were now being whirled around, the ceiling cracking as the energies blew everything apart. Melarna and Jakon could only watch as several large shards of permacrete and steel ripped from the walls and headed their way.

It was several minutes later, long painful minutes for Taeli before she was able to regain control of her powers and regain her awareness of her surroundings. Blinking slowly, tears still falling she could see her parents stuck to the wall, shards of debris in their body.

"No, no, no, no, no, no," she sobbed, almost crawling to where her parents, the ones she had known anyways, were now pinned to the wall . . . dead.

"NOOOOOOO!" she yelled, unable to comprehend she had killed them, to even think it. But the proof was there, and as she she sobbed uncontrollably, she rolled into a ball and cried.

 

[Taeli Raaf]

Taeli had no idea how long she stayed on the floor and wept. She had killed her parents, she hadn't been able to control herself, she couldn't handle losing her family, she . . . she had to stop herself from dwelling on it. She had to find something, anything to latch onto and regain her equilibrium. Shakily uncurling herself, Taeli struggled to her feet and tried hard to not look at her parents' bodies.

Moving in a daze around the house, she could see the damage her loss of control had done to her childhood home. Cracks were evident all along the walls and ceiling, the force of her energy waves shattering them. Holo pictures, screens, appliances were all in pieces, slivers of them embedded in the walls, floor, and ceiling. The stairs were smashed, but could still be used to traverse upstairs. Lurching up them, her mind kept flashing to that last few seconds before she lost control and fresh tears would fall.

She collapsed onto the landing at the top of the stairs, shaking again as a fresh wave of raw emotions coursed through her being. Sobbing slightly, she still made her way towards her own bedroom. The door was torn from its hinges, and the inside of the room was a mess, but there was nothing here besides some clothes and other miscellaneous things she hadn't thought to take with her. Stumbling out of her room, she tripped and fell heavily to the floor of her parents room, and that was when something peculiarly caught her attention, allowing her to focus on it than . . .

Her mother's jewelry box was lying on its side, half destroyed with some of the pieces having been pulverized. But a small compartment had been revealed, and something was twinkling inside it.

 

[Taeli Raaf]

Scrambling forward, she grabbed the box and pulled out a small locket from the hidden compartment. It was unremarkable in almost every way, just a standard holo-locket, but why did her mother think to hide this? Too many questions, too many of them filled with pain as he mind flashed to the look of hatred on her mother's features when she heard she was Sith.

Shaking her head and holding back more tears, Taeli opened the locket and noticed two things. The first was a small folded up piece of flimsi that had yellowed with age, the second was a holo image of a young woman and man she didn't recognize at all.

Mystified, and silently praying about what this could mean, she unfolded the flimsi to see a note addressed to herself.

Taeli,

We're so sorry for not keeping you. We were young and still in school, ostracized by our families at the time because of our decision to be independent of them, when we learned your mother was pregnant. We didn't know what to do with that information. We talked about terminating the pregnancy, but we ultimately decided against it. When you were born, we had this locket made for you and put you up for adoption. It was the biggest mistake of our lives, giving you up, but we were young and foolish.

When you were adopted and moved off-world, we couldn't contact you directly, but we gave this note to the adoption agency to send to your new family after a few years and we realized the joys of parenthood. We know you may have lived your whole life before reading this note, but we wanted you to know we loved and still love you, no matter who or what you may become in your life. If you ever wish to contact us, we are leaving coordinates to our home on Corellia at the end of this note. If there is one thing we wish more than anything, it is for you to be a part of our family again, even if distantly and hope you learn to know your siblings.

Remember, we love you.

Droplets of tears fell onto the flimsi as she read, then re-read, then re-read again and again the words her birth parents had written to her. Her parents had hidden this from her . . . they had lied and kept the truth from Taeli.

She still had family . . . and she allowed the tears to keep falling as that conclusion reached her mind. She had to connect with them, even if they were sworn enemies of the Sith. Family eventually was all anyone had left, and she realized that fact ever more now. Maybe just one more read through. . .

 

[Taeli Raaf]

Taeli didn't know how many time she read that letter, or when it slipped from her hands to land on top of the jewelry box, or when she moved out of her parents' room back to the destroyed sitting room. She was lovingly taking the shards that pinned her adopted parents to the wall, her eyes still brimming with tears as she did so, but her mind was completely on that letter upstairs and what she had . . . no NEEDED to do.

As her parents' bodies were lowered gently to the floor, Taeli allowed another sob to escape her. They had given her so much in life, and in the end, they hadn't stuck by their own daughter for doing what she had to try and control these powers. They had hated her in the end, but she still loved them so much it hurt her chest. Looking around the destroyed house, a few photos of her had survived, including one that had been taken the day before the incident that had changed her life forever, not that this one wouldn't either.

Wrapping her parents' bodies in sheets, she stumbled into the kitchen where one phone transmitter had remained intact. Turning it on, she sent a message to a funeral service home that her parents had been killed and she wanted to arrange a proper burial. When asked how they died, for the obituary, she couldn't tell the the truth. It would hurt her more, so she lied and said someone had broken in and stabbed them when they tried to resist a robbery.

She was given a set of coordinates where she could bury them, and she was asked if she wanted an actual service. She declined, as she didn't want anyone to see her right now, and just asked for a private area.

An hour later, Taeli was sobbing again as she laid her parents to rest within the ground, placing the marker above their heads. This was the most painful thing she had ever had to experience, and while the Sith side of her was saying she would be stronger for all these raw emotions, the vast majority of her being wasn't paying attention to that. She just wallowed in her sadness, but after time had passed and she placed white lilies on the graves, she left the cemetary and made her way back to her ship.

Lorrd held too many painful memories now, she wouldn't return here again, but she needed to seek our her biological parents. If only . . . to hear and see them, introduce herself to her family. She had a mission, and as she clasped the holo-locket around her neck that contained her biological parents' picture, she made her way to her shuttle in a daze.

It was time to visit Corellia.

 

[Taeli Raaf]

The long, long shuttle ride to Corellia had given Taeli time to grieve, to cry, to do everything to get the excess emotions out of her system. Or so she thought. She hadn't been able to purge the sadness gripping her heart, even as she had left Lorrd to never return there again. She couldn't do anything during the trip, so she had retreated onto her cot, a blanket over her head. Soft music filled the cabin, trying to soothe her like she had done whenever she had been upset during her childhood and teenage years.

Nothing helped though, she couldn't shake the words her parents had said, couldn't stop thinking about the letter she had accidentally left behind in her parents' room. Tears dripped form her eyes as she fell into an uneasy sleep, plagued by strange dreams and half-formed memories. She caught a flash of a dark-haired young woman with the same purple eyes looking down at her, regret and sadness on her face. Her parents congratulating her as she won a fencing tournament. On and on the memories flowed, disjointed and sometimes merging in strange ways. Before she awoke, one last troubled dream flashed through her mind; that of a slightly younger woman like her standing next to an even younger blonde girl. She thought she recognized the blonde, but when she awoke, she wouldn't remember that particular dream.

Taeli sniffed as her head rose out from her blanket, her eyes puffy and red from crying so much. Rubbing them, she stumbled to the cockpit of her shuttle to see the blue-green orb of Corellia rising up in front of her. The system controllers were inquiring her identity, and she still had the mind to transmit her Eriana Glasin alias to get past the planetary defense forces.

She needed to collect herself, she needed . . . she needed family. She read the letter so much she had burned the address and coordinates of her birth parents' home into her brain and as her shuttle landed at the spaceport, she downloaded a map of Coronet to her datapad. She was still in the same dress as she had been when she had left her parents' home on Lorrd. She went to refresh herself.

Using the time in the refresher to gather herself up, she allowed the last of the tears to fall as the water cascaded on her. She didn't think she could cry anymore right now. Putting on a simple blue dress that made her purple eyes pop, she lowered the ramp of her shuttle and began the walk to her birth parents' home, not looking up from her datapad and allowing the Force to keep her alerted to anyone in her path to walk around them.

 

[Taeli Raaf]

Her datapad announced she had arrived at her destination with an audible ping. Looking up, she made her way to the door and knocked. There was no answer, and Taeli started to grow anxious again. Trying the doorpad, the door slid open silently . . . it hadn't been locked at all.

Stepping cautiously over the threshold, she froze as she couldn't sense a life form there, but she could feel a lingering sentiment of sadness, confusion, hope, and a mixture of identifiable emotions. A broken vase lay against the wall, water stains on the surfaces where it had smashed and fallen. A mug of caf was on a desk, various documents scattered about.

"Noooo," she moaned as she spotted the white lilies laying scattered on the floor, and a collection of photos on a table. She had arrived too late it seemed, something had happened and she just knew it had to be . . . her biological family were also dead. Collapsing into a chair near the table, she allowed a sob to wrack her frame as she looked over the pictures on the table. Through tear filled eyes, she recognized the one woman from her dreams, bright purple eyes looking up from a kindly and beautiful face that was framed by dark hair.

That was when she saw a baby picture over top a letter, a letter who's hand-writing she recognized immediately. Her parents had sent a letter to her biological family, just the one though and they had kept them in the dark about her. They had been selfish, and wanted to keep her close to them and not go seeking her real family. Maybe that was why they had been against her traveling the galaxy initially.

Looking at another picture, she recognized the blonde girl immediately. It was the young girl she had rescued from that shipwreck on Prakith after the invasion.

"Melori," she muttered, shock racing through her as she realized she had saved one of her sisters. That realization jarred her into realizing that part of the emotions she had been sensing hanging through the house had been someone who had been there recently and who had been reading the letter from her parents. It couldn't be Melori though, it had to be another sibling and if they had been reading this letter . . . then maybe they left for . . .

Not daring to believe it, she tried to find a phone or something to contact the house on Lorrd. Finding it, she began sending regular calls to her childhood home. She would stay here until someone answered, regardless of how long it would take. She needed to know . . . needed to know . . . needed to know . . .

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

Taeli kept sending messages, almost on autopilot as her brain took in everything around her. That was when she was shocked out of her head when a voice came across the line this time.

"Uh, hello?" a female voice said over the line and Taeli's heart just about stopped. She had been right . . . someone had gone looking for her . . . someone who had been here too. The emotions rocketed up inside her and some tears began to well up in her eyes, tears of relief that it seemed someone else in their family was still alive.

"Uh, hi," she said, wiping away the tears again. "So this might be awkward to ask but . . . did you come from Corellia, from a house in Coronet City?"

If she answered yes, then she was either her mother or another sister. If no, then it was a concerned neighbor and she would feel absolutely foolish and quite possibly cry again from frustration and sadness.

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

"Yes," the voice on the other end said and Taeli froze completely. She couldn't dare to think she had family still, besides the sister she had unknowingly saved. Hope was rising within her chest at the thought of meeting her, her head almost spinning that she registered about half of the ramblings. That her family wanted her back . . . that they were going to try and find her some day . . . she almost sagged to the floor and sobbed again.

"Please say yes. . ." and Taeli realized they were very much going through something similar. Strange how two women could do that, and she had . . . no NEEDED . . . to meet her other sister, even if they were supposed to be her sworn enemy or was normal. She had to meet her.

"No, no, it's okay I tend to ramble and lecture a little bit too much," Taeli said hastily into the phone. "I want to meet you . . so badly right now. I . . . well . . . something happened . . . on Lorrd . . . and I need family now more than anything . . . my birth parents lied to me and they . . . said they hated me for what I've become . . . and I . . . lost control. I'll stay right here . . . until you get back . . . I promise!"

The last part was full of desperation, and how was she going to explain what really happened on Lorrd without sounding insane or as a monster. She had to meet regardless, had to see this sister.

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

The line had gone silently quickly after, but she had heard the movement of feet that told her that her sister was rushing out of the house to head to her ship presumably. Taeli sat down on one of the chairs and began pouring over the pictures on the table, along with the documents that rested on the table. She wanted to know as much about her biological family as possible and that's when she came across mention of Ossus.

"Oh no," she whispered as she read that a Corvus Raaf had gone to the Ossus Academy to become a Jedi. That meant . . . oh this wasn't good at all. She was going to get judged for her actions again, and looked upon as a monster . . . by her Jedi sister . . .

"Why is fate cruel like that?" she moaned to herself, placing her head in her hands. She didn't care if her sister was a Jedi or not, she just wanted her family. But if Corvus was anything like other Jedi she had met . . . this meeting might not end well. Oh, let her have just one thing go right for this past few days . . . please. Let her sister be accepting, maybe if she explained why she joined the Sith and continued to be one, she just might understand and not judge her for it.

Time would tell . . . if their remaining family could be one . . . if anything happened, at least she could watch over Melori since she seemed highly keen on joining the Sith, but now she wondered if that was out of hatred for her older sister.

Things it seemed were much more complicated than she had thought.

[member="Corvus Raaf"]