The Secrets You Keep

[Mirshko Betna]

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

She settled almost cautiously into the char across from Sio. She frowned for a moment and studied the whorls in the tabletop before she answered. "It's..." she frowned as she tried to sort out how to answer. If she was being honest.. she wasn't sure she could put what she was feeling into the proper words. After a moment, she reached across the table and seized Sio's hand firmly in her slightly smaller one. It was as if her grip on Sio was that link to the here and now that she desperately needed.

After a moment, she spoke again, her voice barely above a whisper. her tone was... hesitant. Almost reluctant. "I've not even told Mom and Da all of what happened." She took a deep breath. "He... he... controlled me. I did things..... and I liked it..." she whispered, thinking of the times she'd gone on raids with the pirates as she lowered what barriers she had and let the memories flow down her arm and into their joined hands, and thus across their Force connection. She tried to keep them in order, letting down her dissembling helped with that some.

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirshko Betna"]


Siobhan was surprised by the firm grip Mirshko had on her hand. It was like the girl was holding on for dear life. "My poor girl," Siobhan said feelingly when Mirshko began to speak. Then she felt ripples resonate through the Force as Mirshko lowered her barriers and a stream of memories suddenly hit the Countess.


Siobhan winced a bit when images, thoughts and feelings that were not her own began flowing into her mind. The dissembling technique Mirshko applied helped to keep them in order and kept them from becoming an uncontrolled flood.


It probably also helped that, at this point, Siobhan was quite used to sharing memories. "Show me. Show me everything," she said encouragingly. From start to finish, images flashed through her mind. Of the Pirate Lord doting on Mirshko and treating her as his pirate princess, deceiving her with his knowledge of the Mandalorian culture, while at the same time he tried to control her entire life and make her his pawn. She got a flash of his brutal training, of Mirshko accompanying his gang of brigands and slavers on raids.


She winced and shook a bit when she saw Mirshko make her first kill, and when Kuryr drove her to control Nula, seeking to push the girl further into the dark pit. Then at last she saw the girl's escape from his clutches with the help of Elpsis.


The stream of memories ended and Siobhan took a deep breath. Sweat was dripping down her forehead. The throbbing in the back of her head heralded the start of a headache. She released Mirshko's hand and slowly got up. "My poor little angel. I'm so sorry," walking over around the table towards Mirshko, she pulled the girl into a big hug.

 

[Mirshko Betna]

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

For a long moment, MIrshko clung to Sio slender frame, her hands fisting against the woman's back as she tried to get a handle on her emotions. Not to bury them. No.... She knew that burying them was harmful. It was much better to express them in a safe environment such as this. A muffled sniffle could be heard in the dining room as MIrshko wiped at the tears streaming down her face. "I hope... that I never have to go through anything like that again... and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It was...awful. Part of me knew what was happening, but I felt powerless to stop it."

She looked up at Sio, and unshed tears glittered in her eyes. "Ba'vodu.... I haven't even told Mom and Da the whole story. I want to... but I don't know how they'd react if I did. I think, that Kuryr has vanished. No one's heard from him since my escape. And maybe it's for the best..." she shrugged, and wiped haphazardly at her eyes with the back of her free hand. A deep, shuddery breath, and another, and she began to calm. It had been Da's dissembling technique which had allowed her to compartmentalize what she'd experienced. But over time, she had felt it creeping back into her thoughts.

A frown crossed her face, and she studied Sio's for a moment. "The dissembling is helping.... but I still have nightmares occasionally. Is there a way I can make them stop?"

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirshko Betna"]


"Listen to me, sweetie: They're your parents, they love you. They won't think any less of you," Siobhan said firmly, insistently, though she kept her tone soft. "You're their little angel, ok? Telling them how you were tormented is a sign of strength, not weakness." She raised a hand to gently stroke Mirshko' cheek, brushing aside any tears that might come dripping down. Suffice to say, if Kuyir showed up again she felt like ripping his heart out.


She knitted her brow in contemplation when she heard Mirshko's question, mulling it over. "I can't help you with the nightmares, but I know someone who could. She's an elf, a very good friend of mine."

 

[Mirshko Betna]

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

"Maybe you're right..." she whispered softly, her grip on Sio's other hand still firm. She didn't want to let go. She closed her eyes for a long moment and took a deep breath. After a few more, her breathing steadied. "Ba'vodu.... they won't think less of me?" she whispered. Nervously, she chewed her lip. Perhaps.... seeking out the one she mentioned might be a good idea. These nightmares made it hard to sleep at times. And with the recent resurgence of Kyr'tsad, her parents weren't getting much rest either.

Frowning slightly, Mirshko realized that they'd been sitting like that for long enough that their food was getting cold. She flushed slightly in embarrassment and mumbled an apology. Honestly,food had been the last thing on her mind at that point. Trying to distract herself, she slowly released Sio's hand and began picking at her food half-heartedly.

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirshko Betna"]


"No, they won't, sweetie. They won't," Siobhan spoke in her most reassuring tone. "Believe me. I know I don't think less of you. Not at all." She reached out to fondly stroke Mirshko's hair, before planting a maternal kiss on her forehead.


Then she likewise seemed to realise that the food was getting cold. "It's ok, dear," she gently brushed aside Mirshko's mumbled apology, then slowly disentangled herself from the girl and stepped back to return to her seat and tend to her food. "Eat, dear. You need your strength. Your mum'll be angry with me if she hears I'm not feeding you properly and, well, she has a stealth fighter!" Incredibly lame joke, but she was trying to cheer the girl up a little bit!

 

[Mirshko Betna]

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

That got Mirshko to laugh. "Except.. that said stealth fighter is here...." she whispered. grinning in Sio's direction. With that, she turned her attention to eating for a few minutes. The food was simple, yet she found it filling. For that, at least she was glad. A lot of the food that she had been fed during captivity had been rich, and then she'd been forced to burn off all the calories in the training range. If there was one thing to be said for her time with the pirates... she was perhaps in the best shape of her young life. She occupied herself with the fact that perhaps Sio could help her finally put an end to the nightmares. it was... frustrating. And there were times she still woke sobbing. She hoped that Sio's friend could help.

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirshko Betna"]


Yay, she'd made the little laugh! "Yeah...that's true. But she could get another one!" Siobhan protested very lamely. Anyhow, Mirshko was finally eating, and this made Siobhan happy. As for the food, it was quite filling. Sio's cooks were Eldorai and the space elves had a very fast metabolism. This was one of the reasons why Santaissa'd so many 24/7 takeouts.


Before an asteroid had wiped the city out and killed millions of people. However, Siobhan had deliberately kept the meal rather simple. In any case, she likewise helped herself to her meal and then washed it down with a glass of wine. Finally, she arose from her chair. "I'll give my friend a call and ask her to come by now. No need to worry, she's an Eldorai Priestess. She's patched me up after many a battle and saved my life a few times."

 

[Mirshko Betna]

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

"An Eldorai Preistess...?" she echoed curiously, her tone making it a question. She'd heard of Eldorai society a few times but didn't know much about them. A few minutes spent giving attention to her food, at least until her plate was mostly clear. She didn't feel stuffed, yet comfortably full. And for that, she was grateful. She was glad for the fact things were more simple. It helped her to focus more on what she needed to do, instead of trying to distract herself. "When will she be here?"

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirshko Betna"]


"Yeah, a priestess of Ashira. That's their chief goddess. I can tell you more in a bit. She's a powerful healer," Siobhan said before she left the room and walked over to her study. There she dialled Eileithya's number on the comm device thingie.


Presumably you still had to do that. The study was not far away from the dining room, so Mirshko would probably be able to hear Sio's end of the conversation. "Yes, Eileithya, it's Sio. You busy? No...this isn't that kind of call! Look, a little girl who's staying with me needs help. Long story cut short: She got kidnapped by pirates, made to do bad things and it's mucked her a up a lot. Nightmares. So can you come? Thanks you're the best. Say hi to your sister from me. Yes, the nice one."


Conversation over she hung up, and then returned back to the dining hall where she'd left Mirshko. "We're lucky. She'll be here in half an hour."

 

[Mirshko Betna]

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

"Kandosii!" Mirshko exclaimed with a smile. The prospect of perhaps being able to rid herself of the nightmares was exciting. And if she thought about it, the whole experience, while awful... it had made her a stronger person. Both physically and mentally. It was something which she was just now beginning to realize. But, she knew Sio was right. her parents had a right to know what had really happened to her. And however they might react, she knew in the end that they still loved her regardless. Mom had always told her that people make mistakes, and sometimes, those mistakes could be the best teachers. That was certainly true now, more than ever.

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirshko Betna"]


Time skip initiated! This was a convenient literary device for any writer to get their characters to the point in time Force Plot required. And so our two girls would suddenly experience a case of moderately accelerated time. Not much, just about half an hour. Tempus fugit.


So it did not take long before the doorbell rang. "That must be Eileithya," Siobhan said brightly, getting up from the couch and gesturing to Mirshko to come with her. True to her word, the Eldorai Priestess stepped into the villa after a servant girl opened the door.


Amusingly and perhaps a bit comically, her coat was drenched in snow rain. "You know, Siobhan, you could've found a nicer continent for my people to settle on," Eileithya mock grumbled. Well, in all fairness she could warm herself up due to being a pyromancer, but it was the principle of the thing!


Siobhan suppressed the urge to giggle. "Yeah, well, the Qadiri already had the warm south and you told me going all conquista on them would be evil and not what the Goddess would want," she snarked. She'd get dark side points and stuff.


Eileithya huffed a bit. "We should've moved to Arkas. It's tropical there." Her eyes flicked over towards Mirshko and she gave the girl a bright smile. "You must be Mirshko? Happy to meet you, angel. My name is Eileithya." Her tone was warm and her eyes sparkled with compassion. She wore simple, probably homespun dark robes beneath her coat. Her firemane cascaded down past her shoulders.

 

[Mirshko Betna]

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

As the doorbell rang, Mirshko hesitantly rose from the couch to follow Sio. Though, she wasn't sure if it was nervousness or fear on her part. Maybe a tad bit of both. Though why she had reason to fear the Eldorai even a little, she didn't know. Maybe it was because the woman would be separating Mirshko from something which had been a fact of life for her for the last year or so. It felt like a small eternity, really.

As the Priestess stepped into the room, dripping water from the rain all over the floor, Mirshko had to suppress the urge to giggle. It was funny, but she knew it was impolite to laugh - especially at people she didn't know. And more so at adults. They might find it insulting! At Eileithya's question, Mirshko nodded, her cheeks tinged with a faint nervous blush. "I am, Priestess... Mirshko Betna." she said quietly yet firmly as she reached out after a moment to grip the woman's arm in the warrior's greeting.

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirshko Betna"]


Eileithya would not mind Mirshko laughing. Maybe some day they could tag-team Siobhan and troll her. After all, it was Mirshko's solemn duty to troll her auntie a lot. Anyhow, the Priestess smiled at the girl and found her arm enclosed in warrior's grip!


"Goodness, you have a strong grip on you, sweetie," she said warmly. On average Eldorai were physically a bit weaker than humans. "Siobhan told me a bit about what you went through. You're a brave girl," she patted the girl on the head. "I can help you if you want, if you're comfortable with it. It will not hurt you. Why don't we sit down on the couch? We can talk a bit." After all, it would require Mirshko trusting a stranger enough to let her into her mind. This was not something taken lightly.

 

[Mirshko Betna]

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

A hesitant look towards Sio before Mirshko nodded and followed Eileithya towards the couch. It seemed that she was going to be put on the spot a lot over the next few days. If she was being honest with herself, it was slightly nerve-wracking. But, she wanted to find some way to make the nightmares stop. And if working with the priestess was the path to doing so.... she would take it in a heartbeat.She'd definitely come out stronger from the whole ordeal than she'd thought she had originally. But some threads of of it still clung to her, and occasionally threw her into nightmares. There were many things she'd done while in captivity which she... loathed. And she wasn't sure she'd be able to ever fully forget them. Maybe that wasn't wise. But maybe if the Priestess could somehow help separate her from them?

A slow breath, and Mirshko sat down on the couch, about an arm's length from Eileithya. She wasn't entirely sure what this whole process might involve, but for now, she tried to calmly fold her hands in her lap and quiet her mind. It wasn't easy. And she tried to let go of the dissembling for the moment, as she was pretty sure that wouldn't help the process, either. "I would like your help, very much, Priestess..." she said softly, her voice surprisingly firm.

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirshko Betna"]


Eileithya sat down alongside Mirshko. She reached out with her hand and took ahold of one of Mirshko's, patting it gently. "It is a harsh galaxy, child. You've committed deeds you regret. But so has Siobhan, so have I." Though her face was youthful, her words seemed to carry the weight of ancient regrets, from a time far before Mirshko - or, for the record, her parents - had been born. Of horrors committed and innocent blood spilt. Yet here she sat, ready to help the young Betna.


"Look back on your actions as a reason to do better, to make reparation, but don't torture yourself," she spoke in a soothing tone. There was a melodic quality to her voice. "Be calm and centre yourself. I will help you with the Goddess' aid, but that'll require me to enter your mind. It'll be brief and you won't feel any pain. Can you let me in, sweetie?"

 

[Mirshko Betna]

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

Taking a deep breath, Mirshko nodded. She wasn't proud of a lot of the things she'd done - and been forced to do during her time with the pirates. But, there was a ring of truth... and experience to Eileithya's words that struck something inside Mirshko. Another deep breath, and she nodded again.This time she concentrated on releasing her dissembling and lowering the mental walls Mom had taught her to build as a defense mechanism. For a long moment, she searched the older woman's face - her gaze was drawn to her eyes in particular... something about what she saw reminded Mirshko of what she saw in her own these days. Oddly, she found that fact comforting.

A few more deep breaths, and slowly, Mirshko managed to find her calm center. It wasn't as easy as it had been in the past, but it was slowly becoming so again. And hopefully it would be more so afterwards. "I think... I am ready, Priestess.." she said as firmly as she could manage, given her slight nervousness. Her fingers were slightly clammy in the other woman's grip, but Mirshko didn't care. She knew that this took a lot of trust on her part. And she was wiling to give it. It certainly helped that auntie SIo was nearby!

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirshko Betna"]


"Good girl," Eileithya spoke gently, resting her fingers on Mirshko's temples. She started to chant in High Eldarai. Naturally everything sounded better in that language, but then Eldorai thought that about everything. Eileithya winced when the pain Mirshko was feeling was laid bare before her, as if the feelings and memories were bleeding over into her mind, but she persevered.


"Ashira, mother of the chosen, guiding light and queen of the heavens, this unworthy handmaiden beseeches your aid to shield this girl from hurt. Pull her out of darkness and show her path into the radiant light, so that she may not lose herself. May she find peace in your loving embrace," Her eyes suddenly glowed brightly and as she drew upon her Sciia, energy flowed from her into Mirshko. The Priestess' voice was melodic when she began to sing.


Rest my child, for soon dawn will come.
Though night is long and fears are sharp,
The dawn will come, the light will come.
Forget your pain, forget your hurt,
For now the light will enfold you.
Rest my child, for soon dawn will come.


After she'd stopped singing, Mirshko would feel very sleepy. When she awoke from her slumber she would remember her time with Kuyir, how she had suffered and the bad things she'd done, but while none of the remorse would vanish the events would torment her less. It would not such power over her that nightmares kept haunting her. Instead, she would be dreaming of happier days, such as the good times with her parents.


However, that was not the only gift left behind. Knowing that there was evil in the world and a more unscrupulous mentalist might try to bring forth the bad memories to torment Mirshko, Eileithya poured her power into passing on her knowledge of how to shield her mind to the girl. It would probably take a bit for the young Betna to fully absorb and assimilate this knowledge, but it would probably be a big help when combined with the disassembling technique.

 

[Mirshko Betna]

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

Mirshko gasped softly at the sudden touch of Eileithya's cool fingers on her temples. it felt as if that simple touch sent a jolt of electricity through her body. After the initial; jolt, Mirshko felt a calming energy flowing into her, and she could feel her body relaxing slightly as the Priestess began to sing. The words she didn't know. But the tune was soothing. Almost as if the words were a lullaby of some sorts. She didn't fully understand what was happening, but as the Priestess continued to sing, Mirshko could feel the tension continuing to drain away. The effect of it made her want to just curl up and take a nap. Almost as if she'd spent the afternoon running a marathon. In some ways, she had. As the Priestess finished singing, Mirshko finally drifted off into a deep sleep.

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirshko Betna"]


"Be at peace, child. Goddess be with you," Eileithya spoke softly, sounding a bit tired herself when Mirshko drifted off to sleep. Turning her head, she looked at Siobhan, who'd been watching the whole scene. "It's no panacea, but it should help her. She has a good soul."


Siobhan stepped towards them, looking fondly at Mirshko before planting a kiss on the Priestess' lips. "I'm very glad. Thanks a lot for your help, Eileithya. If there's anything I can..."


However, the elf cut her off with a wave of her hand before Siobhan could say more. "We had this talk. It's against my vow to accept...compensation for helping a soul in need. I just helped a bit," she yawned a bit. "Let's get Mirshko to bed."


Siobhan nodded and picked the Mandalorian up, gently craddling her. "You're very welcome to stay the night. It has gotten late and it's cold outside," she offered warmly while carryng Mirshko to bed.


"Hmmph, that it is. This isn't a very transparent attempt to seduce me, is it?" Eileithya asked cheekily, with a knowing gleam in her eye.


"Try? I don't try. I succeed! I'm also very good at massage."


"Now that's an offer I won't say no to. Just make sure the little one is not woken up. She needs her sleep." And so they entered the room and put Mirshko to bed. Siobhan made sure she had a comfy pillow beneath her head and tucked her in, then they switched off the light and departed.