Approved Location The Red Dragon HQ

[Mike V'Trechen]

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
• Intent: This is the main headquarters for The Red Dragon
• Image Credit: i.pinmig.com, [member="Scherezade deWinter"]
• Canon: N/A
SETTING INFORMATION
• Military Base Name: The Red Dragon Faction Headquarters (TRDFH)
• Classification: Headquarters
• Location: It is on Bespin, near Cloud City.
• Affiliation: The Red Dragon
• Population: It is crowded. There are 1,000 TX-1 robots, 500 Navy Personal, 250 councilmen and women, and The Big Three.
• Demographics: It is mostly either human or robot. We do welcome aliens, but it is on a rare occasion.
• Accessibility: It is easy to get there, but it is heavily fortified. There are some ship scanners that scan a 100-kilometer radius. There are also laser cannons around the walls and buildings.
• Description: The base is gray on the inside with yellow and white on the inside and is very fortified. It can fly vertically if needed to when it gets attacked through Repulsorlifts. It is not able to go in different directions, but is able to go up and down through the atmosphere.
POINTS OF INTEREST
The Big Three Throne Room: This is where all of The Big Three have meetings at. This is also a meditation room for those in The Big Three that are Force Users.
Council Meeting Room: This is where the Council meets to do their yearly summit meeting. They decide on what things needs to put The Big Three’s attention to.
Training Room: This is where all of the members go when they want practice fighting. If they do not get practice, then they will not be able to survive wars.
TX-1 Robot Factory: This is where we put together our infamous robot army. Suggested that no one excepted the people that are qualified goes in.
War Room: If there is a war room or contracts to take care of, this is where all of the information and updates will be at. This place also gives people all of their mission dossier:
SECURITY
This is a maximum, because of the 100-kilometer radius ship scanners and all of the laser canons. The laser canons is hidden all around the platform to be ready for any danger.

HISTORICAL INFORMATION
Mike V’Trechen needed a base to be built at Cloud City. Mike ordered the base to be built and the toughest thing out there, beacuse it will hold the Big Three and The Council. Mike decided that there needs to be a monarchy, but with three houses. The Big Three control the Faction. They rule together as a team. There are always three. The Council is for member needs like consumer goods, factory goods, and Military. He set up a temporary location, but needed a real faction base. When the base was finished, Mike ordered a inspection team to go check on it.

 

[Zak Dymo]

[member="Mike V'Trechen"]

I'll be reviewing this for you, my friend. Please wait a moment, if you would.

 

[Zak Dymo]

[member="Mike V'Trechen"]

An impressive headquarters! [member="Scherezade deWinter"] did a good job with that re-color, as well.

There are a few questions that I could use your help with before we move this along.

• Canon: No, this is not canon, but the planet and city is. The city is near Bespin’s Cloud City.

If this is not a canon location, please change this to N/A.

• Location: Cloud City, Bespin

Please link to Bespin as the planetary location. I like how you articulated the location in the Canon quotation above, so I'd suggest dropping a note here that it is near the location of Cloud City.

Moving on, I notice that you refer several times to the TX-1 droid, both in terms of there being a factory on board and also a significant majority of the personnel being TX-1 droids. I will need you to link the submission for the TX-1 here, as it would seem to fall under the category of "relevant link" for our purposes.

Finally, I'd like to ask your help in understanding what this base is. You refer to it as a ship and state that it is capable of flight of some kind. Could you elaborate or explain what kind of ship it is for me? Does it have any kind of interstellar travel capability, such as a starship? Or is it a purely terrestrial aerial vehicle, such as a battle platform? Or would you define it in some other way?

Please tag me once you've had an opportunity to make the changes requested in the above template fields. And I look forward to the discussion about the type of ship we have here!

 

[Mike V'Trechen]

[member="Zardu Hasselfrau"]

Thank you for your time to look at it. I think that I made all the corrections that you have asked for! If you have any questions, please let me know.

 

[Zak Dymo]

[member="Mike V'Trechen"]

Thank you for those edits, and I see that you also clarified that this is a terrestrial aerial platform that moves via repulsorlift. I appreciate those updates and I think that they help to clarify this submission.

Giving this another read through, I do have two more things. The first is a suggestion, the other is a requirement.

1. Suggestion: You mention the "Big Three" several times. They seem like quite a big deal with regard to the Red Dragons. Is there a submission that could be linked that helps the reader to understand who or what the Big Three are? In the alternative, I'd recommend discussing this in the history section to help your reader understand who the Big Three are and the role that they have.

2. Required: I'll need you to edit and clarify the Security section of the submission for the below reasons:

SECURITY
This is a maximum, because of the 100-kilometer radius ship scanners and all of the laser canons. Bottom line, turn back before you are fried. But if you are a dogfighter, then there is 25% that you will make it out alive.

The bit about maximum security and the 100 kilometer radius are both fine, but I draw your attention to the underlined text in the above quotation. As written, I feel that this suggests an auto-hit, particularly with the inclusion of a stated survival statistic. As such, I need you to re-write that part of the submission so to not suggest a particular outcome. Articulating that it is a formidable target is fine, but I would step back from quoting statistics there.

As point of reference, and so that you understand why I'm asking this, the Codex rule is "Language that could be interpreted to force another player to do something they do not wish for their character is prohibited." (General Submission Guidelines) This is consistent with Role-Play Rule #5, which states, "You may not kill another character without that character's permission."

Please tag me and let me know your thoughts after you've had time to review this and make your updates.

 

[Mike V'Trechen]

[member="Zardu Hasselfrau"]

Is that better, sir?

 

[Zak Dymo]

[member="Mike V'Trechen"]

I appreciate your making those changes. I think you have quite the headquarters here!

Trainee pending approval.

[member="Srina Talon"], over to you.

 

[Srina Talon]

[member="Zardu Hasselfrau"] / [member="Mike V'Trechen"]

Great job working through this together. Have fun and enjoy!

Approved