The Exegetic Episodes of the Bloodtrailed Bashtok and the Emergent Matriarch

[Aver Brand]

Aver recoiled as if burned, but the words were already singed into the back of her skull.

Not as close as you and I.

One hand went out to steady her against the railing. Whether she didn’t want to hear it, or wasn’t prepared to, or simply didn’t know what to do with it… it was anyone’s guess.

Because Aver sure as hell didn’t know herself.

“You don’t think it’s awful convenient you’re only dragging me along for this family shet when you need something?”

 

[Quietus]

The silent woman's head ticked to the side in a moment of slight confusion. Brow furrowing, she slowly pushed herself to stand and turned black eyes in Aver's direction in an expression that clearly communicated excuse me?

She licked at dry lips, fangs peeking out for a moment while she considered her next words.

Twenty years... a hand vaguely gestured to an incoming point, for twenty years you traveled to Onderon for what reason? To see who ... my children?

No, you traveled here to see me. So why, in knowing this, would I purposefully spoil your time here by involving my family? Start a turf war with my other mate? Why would I make any effort to include you in on things that you clearly had no care for? When had you ever willingly asked me if you could meet my children?

When did you come to me, Aver Brand, and ask to be part of their lives?

You didn't, and certainly I never offered. We don't owe each other anything on that subject.

Those moments where they shared a day with you were circumstances beyond my control. Had I wanted to dis-include you entirely, I would have made an effort to stop them. Had you wanted to be dis-included entirely, you would have as well. You would have left. You might have stopped coming entirely.

What child of mine sat with you at the Harvest Feast, teaching you about my people?

What child of mine did you challenge to arrows, and which to a challenge of strength?

Which child did you tutor in the art of combat on one of the hottest summer afternoons on record in the open sun?

Which child of mine do you willingly harbor on Nadir whenever she comes to port?

You can't tell me you want no part of this and then show up when I ask.

I made no demands of you. I told you what I needed, I asked you for your help this one single time. You had every chance to say no, I would not have held it against you.

The black gaze hardened, piercing despite not being capable of making eye contact. Her head tilted to the side, questioning Aver's motives where she stood.

What have you done for me today of your own free will that you would not do for payment were we not together?

Have I asked too much of you? Tell me, so I can apologize.

It is not my intention to abuse you, of all people. Never. My time with you is too valuable.

 

[Aver Brand]

Rage bloomed again in her breast as she listened, ice melting for all the wrong reasons. If she were any less self-important, the mercenary might’ve reflected enough to know why she was so angry.

“I—”

This wasn’t how the arguments of Aver Brand usually went. She wielded intimidation and fists until the other person gave up. She won.

But you can’t win in a relationship. You can only lose, and lose, and lose… until it’s all gone. Aver had walked away a thousand times; been walked away from, too. She’d fought some lovers. Others were simply gone in the wind, naught but an aching wound left where a bond should be, over and over again.

Aver looked down at the dead tattoo of the spider on her wrist. Her shoulders sagged.

She would not lose again.

“I thought you were going to die, Des, and I couldn’t do anything. It felt like shet.”

There it was. The why, spilling out of her like bitter poison, like the black stuff marring her mate. Along with the words went the anger, and evaporated like morning dew under the Oderon sun.

“If Ereza had come one day later, she— she would’ve found you alone.”

Ygdris Val was many things. Perhaps a coward too.

“I refused to—”

A coward, but not a liar. Not with her.

“I couldn’t watch.”

 

[Quietus]

“I thought you were going to die, Des, and I couldn’t do anything. It felt like shet.”

The edge of Quietus' dark gaze slowly dulled at this, growing heavy and slowly drifting down.

“If Ereza had come one day later, she— she would’ve found you alone.”

She knew Aver had been there. Not through any subconscious effort, but because she had seen glimpses of it in her thoughts after her awakening. Sensed what she believed to be relief, and anger, and perhaps a measure of hopelessness in her inability to help. Aver had to rely on a complete stranger to fix things.

“I refused to—”

What would she have done if she had left? Turned her back in shame for lack of resources? Sought out someone who could potentially help? Run and never look back?

“I couldn’t watch.”

It wasn't a hypothetical she wanted to sift through. Quietus was a woman of resolve and results. She'd been a leader of the Pillar of Knowledge for the Sith for far too long. She knew how to get answers, knew where to go and who to seek out to find them. Had it been Aver instead of her, had she no capability of finding a way to wake her on her own, she would have stopped at nothing to find someone who could.

Because Aver was her mate and because Aver meant that much to her.

But ... she also had several centuries more of wisdom and experience to live by. Aver was young, something she found herself having to remember time and time again. Aver's background was also far different. She was a selfish person because being selfish had kept her alive, it was a known method of survival. Being selfless? It was a hard lesson to learn for someone like her.

But she'd stayed and she'd tried. And she was here, even if it wasn't exactly where she would have liked to be.

Her feet were moving again and they didn't have far to go this time. Quietus crossed the space between them slowly and purposefully until she felt the woman just before her. Arms snaking forward, her fingers lightly brushed across the woman's middle, careful to avoid her ribs, and snaked around her until she had the Mercenary firmly in her embrace.

The fire of anger within stoked a warmth of gratitude for her mate, allowing it to radiate from her mind into those cold, frozen tundras.

 

[Aver Brand]

Still as a statue, the merc waited as Quietus approached on a ginger stride. Icy eyes closed almost on reflex as the warmth of her mate suffused her front. Her ribs smarted along their fault lines, even under the gentle pressure of questing fingers – down and around, drifting over the slip of a shirt and coming together at the small of her back.

Aver puffed out an exhale into messy blonde curls.

Then, on another stilted breath – “I thought you were gonna hit me.” (She didn’t sound very broken up about it, though.)

“It’s how I usually… solve these things.”

The brother conversation, for example. They’d broken the bed, the counter, and both walls that time with Rev. Because her anger was a weapon, and rarely a state of mind. When they traded blows, it was just a more eloquent conversation; an exchange in a language that roared through their very veins.

Besides, with Des about to fall asleep in her cleavage… Aver sighed again and clasped her own arms around the woman.

“Would you like to stay.”

 

[Quietus]

"Mm," an audible sound.

Maybe next time.

Because if she knew one thing about relationships, it was that they always had their share of highs and lows. Des and Ygdris got on well and could find agreement on most things, but they were still their own people. They still lead their own lives. It was, perhaps, one of the things she enjoyed most about it.

They were fully themselves both together and apart.

Despite the emotional cold of her mate, she found a comfortable warmth there, far too tired to do anything more than consider hitting the woman. Especially not while nestled in her cleavage, listening to the beat of that frozen heart.

"Would you like to stay."

I would.

Quietus issued a deep sigh into Aver's shirt.

A day or so, until I have some strength back.

 

[Aver Brand]

Aver returned the hum. She’d be lying if the warmth hadn’t reminded her body that it ought to feel tired. In her defense; who wouldn’t, after the week she’d had?

With some careful prying, she managed to coax the location of a master bedroom out of her exhausted mate. Neither words nor thoughts passed between on the way there, and Aver was glad for the late hour – the halls were abandoned enough that nobody witnessed their fatigued disgrace.

The engraved doors swung open at Qui’s bidding, and the pair stumbled inside. At any other time, Aver might’ve stopped to appreciate the scenery, but…

they were asleep before they hit the bed.

~~~

Aver woke first.

Because she hadn’t suffered through the expiration of some centuries-old Sith sorcery. Or immediately had the responsibilities for a fething giant family dumped on her. Or, right after that, had to Force-jump halfway across the galaxy to save her not-quite-son from the same crappy situation.

Yeah, Aver woke first. Then she dropped her head in her hands and groaned.

“I’m an idiot.”

 

[Quietus]

Des was not awake for these reveries.

Out cold, pillows shoved off the bed (why did she even have them? Oh, right, Lucian liked pillows...) sprawled on her side with her head wrapped in her arms and pressed into the mattress, there would be no waking Master Quietus.

The sprawling flat was a curious mixture of modern and traditional: stone walls with batten-wood beams housing paintings and ancient manuscripts alongside electric sconces and tech screens. A study and solar sat towards the north where one could take their meal in peace within the throes of research. True books lined shelves on the walls, interspersed with sections of holofiles and datacron blocks. The polished marble table surrounded a holographic projection center with various areas for data input.

There was nearly ever amenity available, including what remained of Lucianus' wine and liquor collection. Des didn't often partake, but he'd been fond of a good glass of brandy. There were no pictures of him anywhere. As a matter of fact, aside from the alcohol, there was nothing there to suggested he'd lived here at all. Even his scent seemed to be gone, along with Quietus'. A testament to the number of years she'd been away.

While she slept Aver wandered, perusing the abode at her leisure and enjoying the luxury afforded to the Pillar of Knowledge's Master. Servants came to call, likely sent by Arathul to check on them, bringing Aver meals and whatever else she may have required.

Towards the later afternoon of the second day the dozing Des finally broke from her slumber. Aver would catch the distinct image in her peripheral of a naked, stretching tattoo'd someone sidling into the bathroom for a long shower.

 

[Aver Brand]

As a matter of fact, Aver did sample the libations on offer. While Quietus slept the slumber of the righteous, the mercenary wandered about the spacious chambers, rifling through the heavy pages of leather-bound tomes and codices that predated even her mate.

Well, some of them.

More of a holovid woman herself, Aver only afforded the briefest of glances to most titles on the shelves. It wasn’t until The Beauty of the Beastia that anything caught her eye.

Five minutes later she was sure she’d wake Qui with her raucous laughter. The book was wild fantasy from cover to cover; even Aver knew that, and she’d only been treated to a select few tidbits of her storied history.

There were other attempts too, all executed with varying levels of dignity. Exactly none of them did Quietus justice – suppose that’s why she kept them here.

But when the blonde finally woke, Aver had long worked through the modest reserve of failed biographies.

No; when Des curled from the bed like a cat from a nap, the mercenary was engrossed in Fifty shades of Green.

With a scowl.

“That’s definitely not how you tie— oh, please. Like that would work! Chressian, you daft kark. You’re literally cutting off her blood— for kark’s sake, who wrote this shet?” Aver closed the book with a snap and dropped it on the ground like it was contagious.

Could definitely do with a shower after that.

Rising from her seat, Aver disposed of her tattered clothing and disappeared after her mate.

 

[Quietus]

[SIZE=11pt]Several days later…[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]You won’t be the first in the family to have another’s soul in your mind.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]She found him in the 23rd floor of the Pillar of Knowledge Archives; levels that had previously been off-limits to him as a child, now open to his perusal under the title of Beasten. Though the title granted him rather little pull within the Pillar, that alone remained with his mother. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Casual garments covered skin of faded tattoos, not a single mark from Aver remained. Such was the perk of rough pleasure beneath moonlight directly following a feeding and a good nap. Quietus was fit, awake, and as healthy as ever despite the harrowing journey across the stars after several days stuck in a coma. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Aver was in Qui’s private chamber - sleeping perhaps. Difficult to say. The Merc’s own sleep schedule wasn’t any more normal than hers. She was sleeping when she stepped out, at least.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Approaching her son where he sat, Qui silently studied the article under his current care, gaze slowly moving from the words he read to his figure. Strange how she could now actively sense the presence of Ane.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]I have many fond memories of her. Of you in your previous life.[/SIZE]

 

[Sunblade]

[SIZE=11pt]Near-to jumped out of his skin when mother brushed against the edges of his mind. Ari snapped the book closed (a real, physical book. [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]decadent[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]). He exhaled, and opened his eyes. The chair scraped over the wooden floor as he turned.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]I… don’t.[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]His gaze flickered with flecks of gold over blue. [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]She’s quiet now.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]A beat.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Wasn’t before. Maybe…[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]he ran a hand through his sandy hair, [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]maybe she was scared.[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]I was scared?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Hard to tell.[/SIZE]

 

[Quietus]

[SIZE=11pt]She never did handle change well…[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]The woman’s eyes lifted towards the ceiling as she reminisced on memories long, long, loooong since passed. Her brow furrowed at the thought of the young woman Ane had become and the strange nature of her over her short-lived time in their family. Though Quietus had always been the black sheep of the family - furiously repulsed by the Shamalain traditions, she had not quite knocked on the door of weird like Ane had. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Anhedonia had a cruel streak to her that was off even for their family, and a near complete inability to form bonds with others. She was aloof in a way that Des had a difficult time explaining, even to her own grandmother. Lorelei, of course, never admitted to there being anything wrong with the girl but Des had her suspicions that her grandmother was far more aware of Ane’s issues than she lead on. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]After several moments of silence, something not very uncommon in this particular family, Quietus moved to take the seat next to her son. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]She never spoke. Not to anyone. Not in any form. Ane was highly ...affected by the Shamalain curse. Moreso than the rest of us. Some would say she was unhinged, mentally. She had no concept of morals, right or wrong. It was as if she never quite understood the tenuous relationship between life and death.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]A deep sigh, her brows lifted, a shrug followed.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Or maybe she understood better than the rest of us and simply did not care. But, if she is communicating with you, that’s more than most any of us got from her. The only two people she ever really seemed to care for was her mother and her brother … Merovign. She and I came to an understanding much later in her life. Were I more involved with her upbringing I suppose we may have even been close.[/SIZE]

 

[Sunblade]

[SIZE=11pt]Ari brought the hands from his lap to press at his temples. He’d poured much effort in avoiding giving the matter too much thought. It made his head ache something fierce, not least because it was a logical, psychological, and Force knows what other sort of contradiction.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]It was also just plain old fucked up.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]How this… communicating with me?[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] His arms dropped limp at his sides again. His purple eyes swam with flecks of gold as he turned him back to his mother. [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]She [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]is[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] me, isn’t she? And I’m… is this why me and uncle always… got along?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]How much of his life had been quietly colored by his previous iteration? How much of his emotions, his inclinations, his ethics?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Ari expelled a long, grounding breath.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Is she… am I going to…[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] but his thoughts dissolved again from coherence to lurid, rioting imagery. He squeezed his eyes shut, nails dug deep into his palms. There was small comfort in the familiarity of his disquiet.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Listening to corrupted whispers of tainted holocrons, Ari had felt his mind threading at the edges before. Like something were trying to tug the main string free, dissolve everything into scattered loops of skein.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]He exhaled again, at once thankful and angry with his broad lexical palate. It afforded him the vocabulary to describe the swell of confusing emotions with perfect precision.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]I am a palimpsest.[/SIZE]

 

[Quietus]

[SIZE=11pt]Well there was a word Quietus had never the pleasure of injecting into conversation before. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]That’s very likely, [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]the woman drummed her fingertips on the table, [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]though Mero always was rather easy to get along with. He will be experiencing a similar...reverie as you. He is also a reincarnation of his former self, and that previous life of his had been barred off until now - if what has happened to you ...and me is any indication. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]That brow furrowed again. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Perhaps you ought to pay him a visit. Would do you well to get away … gain some fresh perspective. I do not know exactly how things will play out between both of your lives as they come to join you now. I imagine that you will eventually find equilibrium … but, should you need help …[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]A hand moved to grip the man’s shoulder, [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]I will do what I can.[/SIZE]

 

[Sunblade]

[SIZE=11pt]Though his head hung low, he still lifted his hand to cover the one on his shoulder. That same calm confidence that used to infuriate him when he was younger, that he’d seen as apathy, as distance… it now tethered him through the storm raging in his own skull.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Okay[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt].[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]He gave her hand one last squeeze, then rose back to full height.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]“Okay.”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]The soft words rang out in the dusty, silent air. Somehow he felt lighter for cutting them loose, aloud, from his aching throat, from his heavy tongue. He carded slender fingers through golden hair, [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]her[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] hair, and offered up a weak smile.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=11pt]I think I’ll go finish that ride that was… uh, interrupted[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]. [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]His grin spread into something a slant more awkward as he slipped past her and out of the room.[/SIZE]

 

[Quietus]

[SIZE=11pt]The entire bed.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]She’d managed to claim the entire fucking bed. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Qui supposed she shouldn’t be surprised. It may have been a bed fit for a Beastia, but even the bed in the Nest at home had been fully and completely claimed by the Merc more than enough times. Thank goodness for the hammocks. Hard to hog a hammock.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Especially when there was a second.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Stepping forward, Qui slowly crawled onto the bed, nuzzling her way up the body of her mate. Bronze smoothed across gold, following the trail of sinew and muscle until she found the three lines of the bloodtrail. It was there that she folded and came to a rest, weight settling over the woman with a deep sigh. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Funny how it was so easy to hear the beat of that glacial heart within Aver’s chest.[/SIZE]

 

[Aver Brand]

[SIZE=11pt]A lazy breath crawled out between her parted lips.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]“Who woulda known…” [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]followed the same lazy drawl. [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]“Only takes nearly dyin’ two times in three days to make you all cuddly.”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]She squirmed herself back into comfort under the added weight, which included a hand casually draped over Qui’s ass. Aver grinned into the golden mane spilling over her face before twirling the strands away with a flick of her finger.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]“What time’s it anyway?”[/SIZE]

 

[Quietus]

[SIZE=11pt]I could have rolled you off the bed instead.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Des smirked into the skin of Aver’s chest, taking another slow, deep breath before lifting her head and propping herself up on her elbows. Green looked down at blue, sober and calm, [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]Time to leave.[/SIZE]

 

[Aver Brand]

[SIZE=11pt]“You could’ve [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]tried[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt].”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]The luxury of waking up slowly, of entertaining that mellow haze between slumber and awareness… it was reserved for these moments; with her mate. Sleeping in was a pleasant, rare indulgence.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]And Aver Brand was loathe to forgo [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]any[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt] indulgence. [/SIZE][SIZE=11pt]But—[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]She tangled their legs and rolled them over, smoothly as the flowing river overturns a stone. Her grin bled from lips to thought to the thread between them.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]I never said I didn’t like it[/SIZE][SIZE=11pt].[/SIZE]

 

[Quietus]

[SIZE=11pt]You didn’t use to…[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]The blonde lofted a brow as she looked up at the grinning redhead, recalling that physical attention beyond their sexual encounters had often been rebuffed with indifference or standoffishness. Not that she cared in particular - different strokes for different folks, every mate was their own person and if Aver wanted personal space then she was complacent enough to give it. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]If Aver wanted attention she was happy to give that, too. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Quietus may not have been a cuddly mother to her children, but long-term mates often afforded more time and attention from her. Child-coddling had never been her M.O. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]She canted her head to the side, blonde braids rolling off her face as a slight smile appeared, green eyes leaving ice to find the red of the bloodtrail. Fingertips lifted to trace it before idly smoothing down and along Aver’s side. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Do you want more cuddling?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]It was only a half-serious question. Aver wasn’t want to admit to such things very often. If ever.[/SIZE]