Private The Check Up

[Kestrel Dray]

K A S H Y Y Y K
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Kashyyyk, the heart of the Silver Jedi Order.

As Kestrel Dray pulled the yolk of her ship, it nosed down through the atmosphere. The planet and all it’s natural beauty, exploded to life beneath her as her ship crossed through the thick white clouds. Absentmindedly, her lips pulled into a smile. She’d never tire of seeing so much greenery, even if she didn’t get to enjoy beautiful landscapes like this as often as she might have liked to.

Being what she was, her position within the Jedi and what she was trained to do, it was rare that Kestrel came near any of the Temples or interacted with other Jedi.

For the better part of six years, the only other person she had for company was her Master, Judah Lesan , before he went missing and she went to his son to help her track him down. A mission that broke any illusions she might have still held of Judah, changing everything about their relationship. Since then they hadn’t seen or heard much from one another. Kestrel chose to distance herself, she was a Knight, after all… could stand on her own two feet now and even took a Padawan that she was now training. Judah? Last she heard, he was doing some stint selling his skills for credits in the Outer Rim. Only rumors of course, but Kestrel wondered of its validity.

Beyond all of that, however, was one person that she knew she’d wronged in all of this.

Letting fear get the better of her, hadn’t been one of her better moments. There was no reason why she had needed to cut JJ out of her life, they’d made a good team for the brief time that they worked together, despite both of them being unamused with having to work with the other in the beginning. Yet, she repeatedly blew him off and ignored his holo messages.

Everything was awkward, different. For a long time, she didn’t know what to say to him.

But then, after seeing him again on Zeffo…

She sighed.

Well, she was here now.

But was there a partnership, friendship, that was worth salvaging, still? She supposed part of that decision lied with him, and whether or not he decided to show. After all the times she blew him off, it wouldn't surprise her if he decided to give her a taste of her own medicine.

Still, she'd sent a message ahead of time with details on when she’d be arriving. Outside her new ship, the Mesra, Kestrel waited.

The ball was in his court.

Judah Lesan Jr.

 

[Judah Lesan Jr.]

The forested world of Kashyyyk was the closest thing to a home Judah Lesan Jr. currently had. Irony filled his thoughts as he realized that his vagabond lifestyle was more akin to the one his father had led for years. Despite saying he would not become like his father, JJ discovered the one secret that everyone eventually discovers. People become more like their own parents than they are willing to ever admit. Still the Jedi Guardian knew his differences as well and held onto them for his own sanity. One thing he never would do was remain so distant from his family, should he have one someday, as his father had done for many years.

A pair of eyes looked at the message from Kestrel Dray which had flashed across his personal comm. She had arrived. The message he received a few days before gave him a time and location where she wanted to meet. Kes was a friend, of sorts. JJ did not really know what their relationship was. She had been his father’s student, at times getting more time with him than he did. There was a twinge of jealousy there which had painted their first interaction.

Was he going to go? Yes. Despite the fact their relationship was different, uncertain, and no matter how much she had ignored him after the events that brought them together in the first place, JJ felt some kind of draw and connection to her. Maybe it was the common thing they shared with his father in their lives, but JJ could not shake that Kestrel Dray was linked to his life somehow. Besides, he liked her company, and force only knew the majority of Jedi on Kashyyyk were not the colorful personalities of his father. JJ missed it.

His entire way to the landing pad JJ tried to come up with some clever greeting. His palms were sweaty, which was very unusual. The Corellian had all the confidence of his people and more, but for some reason he was nervous about this meeting. They had not really had a chance to talk since they watched his father kill a man. JJ knew his father had killed before, JJ had killed before, but seeing it was something else entirely.

Whatever clever greeting JJ could think of was gone when recognized Kestrel had a different ship. With his upbringing he was not going to miss a detail like that, especially when the one she had been flying before was being held together by sheer will.

He almost walked right past her without saying anything.

“Look at this… a new ship huh,” he asked as he placed his hand on the outer hull. “The other one finally decide it was tired of the constant repairs.”

JJ chuckled, then turned to look at Kes. She was sight for sore eyes, and a much needed friend at the moment he needed one.

“You look good… glad you came. Ever been on Kashyyyk before?”

Kestrel Dray

 

[Kestrel Dray]

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"The Dream? Yeahh." she sighed sadly, "The faithful old girl finally went ka'put in the atmosphere of Arvala Seven. Though I'm loathe to admit it, it'd been her time for a while." She purposefully left out the more pertinent details, hoping JJ wouldn't notice. The Lesan's had a long and complicated history with the Van-Derveld family, and she didn't want him, or more specifically his father, knowing that she'd landed in the crosshairs of Kastis Van-Derveld. Especially when it had not only nearly cost her her life, but lead to a discovery that called into question everything that Kestrel once believed she knew about herself.

“You look good… glad you came. Ever been on Kashyyyk before?”

She looked good? Kestrel mused on the sentiment, knowing that he'd been the one to show up when she reached out, instead of Judah Lesan Senior, right before she went into the hibernation trance. It was an instinctual happening, one she couldn't have controlled. With Arekk's saber plunged deep into her belly, merely moments away from whatever lied in wait in the great beyond, the only thing she wanted was someone who knew her best to be there if she did slip away. The implication of it all was curious to her, considering that they'd only spent a short amount of time together during the search for their parents. Had she really grown so attached, without noticing? Or was she just that out of sync with herself?

"Thanks, you're not looking so bad yourself...and I can't say that I have," She replied, slightly smiling. He seemed a bit awkward, but also genuinely happy too, which helped her ease into the flow of conversation. "But I'll say this, it's more than what I could have ever dreamed it to be." The sincerity in her voice was clear and evident, these weren't just the niceties of small talk being spouted around.

With most of her time spent on desert worlds, where life only existed in shades of mustard yellow and dull browns, worlds like Kashyyhk astonished her.

"You wouldn't mind showing me around a little as we catch up," she asked, walking over and linking her arm in with his. "Would you?"

Judah Lesan Jr.

 

[Judah Lesan Jr.]

JJ grinned as the pink woman returned his compliment. He had been indifferent about the news of her ship, though as a Corellian any ship loss did sting a little. Still he had no attachment to the ship itself. His attachment was to the woman who owned, and had laced her arm through his. It was an odd thing how natural it felt. The Jedi had not felt this comfortable around someone since the ranger had been part of his life. There had bee true feelings, a genuine love that each knew for the other, and yet life had moved them on from each other. JJ had never understood how or why, but long past were the days when he questioned it.

He had new questions, or rather one repeating question. Why had Kestrel reached out to him when she meant to find his father? JJ had not expected their bond to be as such that the partial Zeltron would have found him by mistake, yet she had. It certainly had not been anything she could have controlled with how close to death she had been, and JJ was glad she had lived. Yes, he was still sorting out his own feeling for the woman, and knowing they shared a brother because of a history between their parents did make things awkward. Still, the Knight didn't seem to care. There was only one thing which felt right, and that was the closeness they now shared.

"I would be happy to," the Guardian Jedi said with a small motion of his hand as he led them toward Silver Rest. "You'll have to excuse everyone, the Silvers are actually getting ready to move to Commenor, and this will not be home for them long."

JJ spoke as if he was not going to be following them, and in truth, he was not going to be. Life for him seemed to be taking him in another direction once more. He did not know what it was, but he also knew his path was diverting from the Silver Jedi. The thought he would never make master at this rate did cross his mind, and JJ was beginning to not care about such things. Like his parents, the Corellian Jedi had a roaming and free spirit. Perhpas his lot in life was simply to go where he was needed, when he was needed.

"So uhhh... we should probably talk about what happened..."

Or not.

Still, it needed to come up. JJ wanted an answer to his question, and this seemed to be as good a time as any. They were being nice to each other for once.

"You almost died... you scared me."

Kestrel Dray

 

[Kestrel Dray]

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"So I heard," she mused, "That's quite the big move for them."

There was a modicum of peace walking side by side with JJ, for once their conversation lacking in the quips and arguments that usually colored such moments between them. It was odd, how easy it all seemed, and had to admit that she much preferred this comradeship they were sharing in. It helped that she was starting to finally feel comfortable in her own skin, even if the truth of what she was, had brought about more questions than answers. One thing was certain, though, Kestrel was no longer that fiery, headstrong, slave girl from Tatooine, with a need to prove that she was more than her humbling origins.

The last year and a half had seen to that, sobering the young Knight rather quickly.

Unlike JJ, she'd had no previous lovers or interests of the romantic sort, to have to work through those emotions. Those were paths she avoided, for they would have only veered her away from her ultimate goal and the destiny she felt the Force had laid out for her. Her heart, her life, those belonged only to the Jedi... until her mission with JJ.

It was the only time she'd ever questioned her resolve and dedication.

For months, it'd been easy to write it off as a fleeting interest and a momentary lapse in judgment. What had he been to her, besides the son of her Master, and a person she shared half a brother with? They were partners, and hardly compatible at that, though she did respect and admire him and his abilities. By the end of their stint together she went her own way, for more than one reason, drifting for months between Jedi missions and even picking up her first Padawan. Though thoughts of JJ dwelt in the back of her mind, and she even found that she missed his presence on the occasion, never did she entertain the idea that it meant anything more until his appearance on Illias' ship, the Dri.

All of her vitals were rapidly dropping, her life force fading, but then his voice reverberated through her mind.

Just his presence alone, and life registered back to the screens. The light at the end of the tunnel faded away.

In the end, he was the only one who could call her back to the Galaxy, and he was gone before she had a chance to fully wrap her mind around it.

What exactly had it meant? It seemed like he wanted to get to the bottom of it, too.

"I was scared, too." the raven haired she-wolf admitted somberly, "I thought I was going to die, and I wanted the person I cared for nearby. I don't..." she paused, feeling somewhat embarrassed to admit the next part. "I think I would have moved on, if you hadn't shown up when you did."

Judah Lesan Jr.

 

[Judah Lesan Jr.]

There was a small amount of silence between them after JJ had suggested they needed to talk about what had happened. It wasn't long enough to be awkward, but it had certainly created enough of a pause that JJ wondered if he had doused whatever this nice thing was between them. The Corellian had only truly loved two in his life, and only one of them had been someone he could call a lover. While he had loved and acted on those feelings once before, JJ could hardly call himself an expert when it came to matters of the heart. Beyond the grin and cocky smile was a simple country boy that had a lot to learn about life despite living a lot of it already.

Kes made life different. There was no denying her presence brought a different perspective. For a while now JJ had been trying to avoid the feelings which had led him down a place where his heart could be touched and broken. Twice he had been vulnerable, and both times the women he had allowed close had left. One was malicious, and the other... the Jedi could only say they had drifted apart. Perhaps he had been too absent, or mayb he had misread the situation for the start, but JJ certainly did not want to find himself in that place again.

It surprised him when the thought of Kestrel dying put him there once more. How had he developed feelings and bonded to someone that he hardly knew?

When her answer came, JJ let go of his breath. She had been scared too.

"You asking for my father, but you found me."

It was a quiet statement, one JJ would not allow Kes any time to answer. He knew what had happened, she knew what had happened. Her own admission made it clear that while she thought Judah was the one she cared for, that JJ was the one who had truly been on her mind. There was no question behind what JJ said either. It was simply presented as a fact. Kes cared for him, and her admission took courage.

"Don't finish that train of thought," he admonished. "I don't even know why or how you got yourself into that situation. All I know is that you are alive, and that is what matters. I was scared because I thought I was going to lose you... which is funny because I had no idea that the little bit of time we spent together had such a huge impact, but..."

JJ stopped walking as they reached a crossroad. They could either head into the rest, or take the walkway that would eventually lead them to the shadowlands. A small smirk pulled at JJ's lips as he turned away from the keep. Kes wasn't interested in some compound. If she had never been to Kashyyyk then she needed to see the planet, and experience its beauty.

"...but you mean a lot to me. I care for you very much, and I do not want to imagine a life without you in it."

Kestrel Dray

 

[Kestrel Dray]

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"You asking for my father, but you found me.”

While she was not a woman who swooned at the drop of a hat, hearing the statement he made caused a flush in her cheeks, not that it would be discernable upon her already rosey-hued skin. She wished to say something, but JJ quickly anticipated her next action, and put a stop to it, before any words could leave her lips. She would have to wait, and listen to whatever it was he wanted her to hear as they walked along.

Kestrel felt like she could breathe easily on Kashyyk, finding that she was immensely enjoying the verdant views along their walk and all the world had to offer in its natural majesty. The landscape was starkly different from her homeworld, with towering trees that stretched so far that you couldn’t see the tops of them. Her wolf within her drew in the fresh scents and sensations all around them, abilities that she was still getting used to, while they continued on. Her garnet eyes flickered over to JJ, suspecting at once that he’d lead them this way on purpose, as opposed to taking them to the Jedi Temple that was nowhere in sight.

The gesture was a simple but meaningful gift in her eyes, especially for someone whose early life had only known harsh sands and cold desserts. She lightly squeezed her resting hand against the crook of his arm, as a silent ‘thank you’, not wanting to interrupt him.

"I don't even know why or how you got yourself into that situation. All I know is that you are alive, and that is what matters. I was scared because I thought I was going to lose you... which is funny because I had no idea that the little bit of time we spent together had such a huge impact, but… you mean a lot to me. I care for you very much, and I do not want to imagine a life without you in it.”

The feeling of JJ’s presence and what he was feeling, swirled around her. Kestrel breathed deeply in relief, and looked up at his very serious words. Kestrel felt speechless for a moment, as the connection between them pulsed with the energy of emotions that as of yet, remained unnamed.

“I feel the same way, too… I can’t explain it. I feel for you, in a way that I do not for anyone else. Nor have I ever. Ever since Naboo, somehow… you’ve became a part of me.. Like, we’re connected somehow.”

The words spilled from her a lot more easily this time, with this awakened awareness of their electric connection firing off between them, becoming more and more apparent.

Judah Lesan Jr.

 

[Judah Lesan Jr.]

The conversation and tone were nice for a change, and JJ was happy that his admission had not changed it. If anything it seemed to make their interaction even more serene. Naboo had been the first time they met, and most of that interaction had been full of bickering about how to go about finding his father and her master. Unfortunately both of them had been right on what had happened, and soon realized neither of them had known Judah as well as they had wished to. Perhaps that was what made the pair avoid each other. They had been two different pieces of a man's life they both admired and found themselves frustrated with. Perhaps that was also the reason for the bond they seemed to share.

JJ sighed with a moment of relief as their feelings seemed to be the same. With the confession hanging in the air, there were only more questions than answers. Right now, they did not need to be answered. For the moment the pair simply needed to enjoy the fact they had found something worth living for. Life itself, that was rarely enough, not from JJ's experience. He had been burned many times, and many times he had often wondered whether or not his life devoted to others was truly making a difference. It didn't seem to be for his own life anyway. JJ had paid the price many times over of being abandoned.

He smiled.

"Connected, I like it..."

A wave of JJ's free hand opened a gate which led to a lift platform. It was crude and rudimentary. Rope held wooden poles together as a pulley system seemed to operate the raising and lowering of the platform. It was going to be a slow journey down, unless she would rather jump. The smirk tugged at JJ's lips as he looked over the edge of the platform. He had made this leap so many times, but would Kes want to make it with him. She had always thought he was a bit reckless, that he missed details.

So... is this one of those moments where you want me to be serious, or are you up for a little bit of fun?"

JJ did not wait for an answer. The Guardian in him was ready for the rush of adrenaline the fall would produce. He backed toward the edge and once his heels peeked over he leaned back and fell off the edge...

Kestrel Dray

 

[Kestrel Dray]

"Wait, stop!" Kestrel rushed forward to try and grab him, but her fingers only brushed the billow of his shirt before he went over. "I hate when you do stuff like that," she murmered, raking a hand through her dark hair.

Where she approached a situation with reservation and restraint, JJ jumped in headlong without a second thought.

It had always simultaneously driven her crazy and intrigued her. How could someone live their life with such reckless abandon? She'd grown up having to always think two to three steps ahead, always looking over her shoulder, in constant survival mode, before Judah took her in. Every action, every reaction, everything during her years as an indentured servant was done in a great balancing act to try and anticipate Tavid's moods and state of mind so that he might not become too angry with her. She could never afford to be reckless, because a misstep could mean a lashing, with no one to step in and protect her from it.

Maybe that was the difference? He'd grown up with two parents that loved him. His mother had died, Judah was gone now, but surely their love and support was what gave him the confidence he had to live so freely, now?

Bringing booted toes to the edge of the platform, her cerise eyes gazed down where JJ had landed, expectantly watching and waiting to see if she would take that jump with him, a look in his eyes that said he would catch her if anything happened. Her breath hitched in her throat, and for the first time in many years, Kestrel nervously tugged at the black glove covering up her mechanical arm, finding she could not move... awkwardly waiting for the platform to raise.

"You're such a show off sometimes." she said, trying to hide what she was feeling behind a quippy response. "One of these days, it's going to get you into trouble."

Judah Lesan Jr.

 

[Judah Lesan Jr.]

JJ smiled and whooped the entire way down to the surface. There was a part of him that knew Kestrel Dray hated the way he jumped into things, in this case literally, and part of him knew he was doing this on purpose. Something seemed to always hold the pink hued beauty back. There was a reservation which was uncommon to Zeltrons, and JJ did not know where that came from. He wanted to pry and get it out of her, he just did not know how. They were opposites in this regard, and maybe that is why the pair seemed to click. JJ pushed her into action, and she made him slow down and think.

By the time his feet hit the ground, he expected Kes would have followed. He knew she wouldn't just drop like he had, but she was skilled enough in the force that the leap would not kill her. Surprised eyes looked back up to see that the woman just stood at the edge. The Corellian folded his arms over his chest and looked up at the Zeltron with a disappointed look.

"You've got to stop being so unsure about yourself, Kes. C'mon it is just you and me, no one else."

Was his behavior going to get him in trouble one day, it might. There seemed to be a bit of concern in her voice over that, but she was also hiding something. JJ decided he was going to respect her privacy on that issue. Pushing her to let it out would not go well, but she needed to come out with it at some point.

"Hesitating is going to get you in trouble one day also... You need my zeal, and I need your restraint. We're good together. Make the jump... we'll take the platform back up when we're done. I promise you'll enjoy the rush."

Kes was pulling at the glove on her arm. JJ knew what that glove was hiding, he had saved her life after all. Why did she think she had to hide from him when she had just admitted they were connected? JJ wasn't sure where it was all coming from.

"C'mon... what do ya say!?"

 

[Kestrel Dray]

While she was reconciled with the fact that she preferred JJ above anyone else, there were obstacles, complexities that could not be sorted through by one admission. It had taken her months to accept how she felt towards her Master's son, and only when death came knocking had she come to admit the truth to herself. Leaping off the ledge with him, while not a big deal in itself, held deeper implications of trust for her.

Then again, she did tend to over think many things, and it was possible that's what she was doing here. 'Stop being dumb and listen to JJ, jump off that ledge!' her inner voice scolded, feeling annoyed with her own indecision while her fingers continued to fiddle with the frayed edges of her glove.

With her toes at the edge, Kestrel closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath, the worries in her mind quieting to a blur in the background as she put her trust in the Force and let gravity take her fiercely over the ledge. In that rush of wind that came to meet her, adrenaline kicked in, blood coursing miles of veins within seconds as her body tucked and spun through the air, landing smack dab in front of where JJ was standing. Kestrel staggered to her feet as she tried to get her bearings again, allowing all of the sensations to wash over her, her face and hair windswept.

"I'd say you were right... for a change." Kestrel passed him a teasing look and smiled, before trying to fully straighten and proceed to dust herself off. "That was a lot of fun... although my stomach still feels like all of my organs have floated out of place."

Judah Lesan Jr.

 

[Judah Lesan Jr.]

Kestrel was certainly taking her time in making up her mind. Maybe JJ was trying to push to hard and too fast, however he did not think he had been. She needed the nudge. Life for her was always one hesitation after the other. He often wondered if her near death was because she hesitated. JJ did not have the details, and it was something they did not really talk about. She had left for a time, and he had given her the space to recover. When she had reached out to him, it had been a genuine surprise. The Jedi had been unsure if she was ever going to, but now that she had, he wanted her to live, to truly live, and make the most of the time they could have together.

He was going to call out to her one more time, but she jumped before he could.

A wide smile pulled at his lips as the pink hued woman landed in front of him. She looked as though she had just gotten off a scary ride at an amusement park, but she also looked like she had enjoyed it. JJ was happy to see it.

"Wait... say that again," he teased upon hearing Kestrel say he was right. "This is a first ladies and gentlemen... she said I was right."

JJ offered his hand as she straightened herself up. Despite the fact he teased her, he was still the polite mountain boy his mother had raised on Coronet Peak. There was never going to be an instance where his flirting or teasing got in the way of his manners. That was simply who JJ was.

"You just need to do it more often and you'll eventually get used to it. I know in my roll I will likely see more combat than you, but... it doesn't hurt. My dad did teach you to be a sentinel didn't he?"

He shrugged at the mention of his father. The last thing JJ wanted to do was talk about their parents, but it was a reality they both shared. Both parents had not been ideal, and the revelation they both shared a brother was something JJ was still wrapping his mind around. It did not change how he felt about Kes, but it did complicate it.

"You know what... forget I said anything about him. We have to talk about it at some point... them... our brother, but I'm not ready to. For now... let's explore these woods and just figure us out... hmmm?"

Kestrel Dray