Approved Starship The Battlecruiser Destroyer (Frigate)

[Levanthal Eastwind]

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

• 
  [SIZE=9pt]Intent: Cruiser for Levanthal’s fleet[/SIZE]
  
• 
  [SIZE=9pt]Image Source: https://halo.fandom.com/wiki/Infinity-class_supercarrier[/SIZE]
  
• 
  [SIZE=9pt]Canon Link: N/A[/SIZE]
  
• 
  [SIZE=9pt]Primary Source: N/A[/SIZE]
  

[SIZE=9pt]PRODUCTION INFORMATION[/SIZE]

• 
  [SIZE=9pt]Manufacturer: [/SIZE]Alphaeoh
  
• 
  [SIZE=9pt]Affiliation: [/SIZE]Alphaeoh
  
• 
  [SIZE=9pt]Model: TIE[/SIZE]
  
• 
  [SIZE=9pt]Production: Minor[/SIZE]
  
• 
  [SIZE=9pt]Material: Durasteel (https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Durasteel) [/SIZE]
  

[SIZE=9pt]TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS[/SIZE]

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  [SIZE=9pt]Classification: Assault[/SIZE]
  
• 
  [SIZE=9pt]Length: 1000 m[/SIZE]
  
• 
  [SIZE=9pt]Width: 400 m[/SIZE]
  
• 
  [SIZE=9pt]Height: 300 m[/SIZE]
  
• 
  [SIZE=9pt]Armament: [/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]Extreme[/SIZE]
  

[SIZE=9pt]Chin Mounted Pouvoir Railgun (http://starwarsrp.net/topic/149099-the-pouvoir-railgun/#entry1988630[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt])[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]50 turbolasers (https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Turbolaser[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt])[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]20 Conner Nets (https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Conner_net) [/SIZE]

• 
  [SIZE=9pt]Defenses: [/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]High[/SIZE]
  

[SIZE=9pt]Ion Shields (https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ion_shield) [/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Deflector shields (https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Deflector_shield) [/SIZE]

• 
  [SIZE=9pt]H[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]angar Space: [/SIZE]
  
  [SIZE=9pt]1000 Meters: Very Low[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: 3[/SIZE]
  

[*]
[SIZE=9pt]Hangar Allocations: [/SIZE]

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  [SIZE=9pt]Starfighters: 3[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt] squadrons[/SIZE]
  

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  [SIZE=9pt]Maneuverability Rating: [/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]Very Low[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Speed Rating: ([/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]Choose from:[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt] [/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]Low[/SIZE]
  
• 
  [SIZE=9pt]Hyperdrive Class: [/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]Very Slow[/SIZE][SIZE=9pt]: 7[/SIZE]
  

[SIZE=9pt]STANDARD FEATURES[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]50 turbolasers[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]20 Conner Nets[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Ion Shields[/SIZE]

[SIZE=9pt]Deflector shields[/SIZE]


[SIZE=9pt]ADVANCED SYSTEMS[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]N/A[/SIZE]


[SIZE=9pt]Strengths:[/SIZE]

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  [SIZE=9pt]Power: It is made to be able to take on Dreadnoughts/Battlecruisers[/SIZE]
  
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  [SIZE=9pt]Defense: It has enough Defense to be strong against incoming fighters[/SIZE]
  

[SIZE=9pt]Weaknesses:[/SIZE]

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  [SIZE=9pt]Speed: The Ship is slow and not that maneuverable[/SIZE]
  
• 
  The ship is very slow at turning rate
  

[SIZE=9pt]Description: [/SIZE]

Chin Mounted Pouvoir Railgun
[SIZE=9pt]Captains Quarters[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]Mess Hall[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]3 Officer Quarters[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]~500 Crew[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]1 Captain[/SIZE]
[SIZE=9pt]~10 Officers[/SIZE]

 

[Luca Donskoi]

under review

 

[Luca Donskoi]

[member="Levanthal Eastwind"], Hello! It's me again and I'm here to assist you through another go at the factory. Overall a solid submission and not much to talk about in this. However, I'd like to ask about one thing...

Description: N/A (Honestly not in the mood for it)

Although the template is worded to the point that detailing the history here is optional, we still do heavily encourage that you provide the following information here:

Please provide a detailed account or link of each special feature that is listed in this submission. All miscellaneous descriptive elements go here, such as Cargo Capacity, Passengers, Consumables, Crew, etc.. There is no requirement for amount of words here so long as you meet the minimum requirements for your advanced systems.)

Although I understand that Factory can sometimes be taxing, I still just want to highlight that the description section is very highly recommended.

 

[Levanthal Eastwind]

[member="Alden Akaran"] done

 

[Luca Donskoi]

[member="Levanthal Eastwind"], enjoy your new ship

 

[Luca Donskoi]

Approved.

 

[John Locke]

Under Review.

 

[John Locke]

Good Evening [member="Levanthal Eastwind"],

As per my message to you I will be reviewing this submission. There are several issues I have noted which I will detail for you below.

1) Manufacturer

Manufacturer: Levanthal Eastwind

As per factory rules, you must provide a link to the manufacturer, in this case the would be yourself. However, according to the tables provided as part of the starship templates an individual may only manufacture ships 'within reason'/

​

However this submission is for a limited rating submission at 1000m, and that is beyond what is reasonable for an individual to produce. As you can see from the table above this could be produced by a Company, a Minor Faction or a Major Faction, but not an individual. As such I'm going to have to ask you to please change the manufacturer of this ship.

2) Affiliation

Affiliation: Levanthal Eastwind

As part of the intent of this submission you claim that the ship is for Levanthal's fleet and as such you have affiliated it with Levanthal.

​

However, as you can see from the above table an individual is only able to field ships of upto 500m, and is not able to field a combat fleet of any size. As such I'm going to have to ask you to change the affiliation of the submission to an entity which is actually able to field the submission.

3) Absolute Language

Power: It is meant to be a Dreadnought/Battlecruiser destroyer (Conner Net plus Railgun shot)

Description: The Frigate is a battlecruiser destroyer, it was made to easily take them down with a simple strategy. It would launch a conner net and fire its railgun, this is enough to destroy a dreadnought or battlecruiser. It's used as a support craft for the back of the fleet.

It is very important to note that on Chaos it is the defender who determines what, if any, damage that they take from an attack. As such we shy away from allowing absolute language in the factory, such as 'this is enough to destroy a dreadnought or battlecruiser'. I'm going to have to ask you to tone down the language, to say that it has the potential to destroy a dreadnought or battlecruiser if it hits them in the correct place. A battlecruiser and dreadnought are immensely tough, and it would be very hard for a frigate to damage one enough to destroy it in one shot.

4) Weaknesses

Shields: The shields are not the strongest but can hold their own

Coud you please explain what you mean by the above weakness?

 

[Levanthal Eastwind]

[member="John Locke"] I have done what you have asked (I think), but I have changed production to Minor

 

[John Locke]

[member="Levanthal Eastwind"]

Thank you for making those changes. Looking through the submission again, there are just a few points I wish to raise with you.

1) Linking

Manufacturer: Alphaeoh

Affiliation: Alphaeoh

I see you've created a company to both create and control the ships, and that is much better. Thank you for doing that. Just as a matter of course, we generally link to the company listing, not the marketplace page, this is because not every company has a marketplace. Some are created simply to allow someone to create submissions for their own use. As such could I ask you to please update the links?

2) Description

While you adjusted the power strength, you haven't changed the description I see. Could you go into a little more detail for me please? The ship is diesgined to take down Battlecruisers, but if it is located at the back of the fleet then how is the connor net delivered to it's target? Also, a connor net is at most 1km in sie, but a battlecruiser is significantly bigger, as such the connor net may not actually hit a critical system. While this is only a small thing, it would help people to clearly understand what it is you're aiming to do with this ship if you could explain it more clearly.

3) Ratings

I see you cleared up the shield weakness, thank you for that. However, it does bring up another issue. The ship is classed as having high defences, yet you claim the defelctor shields are weak. Could you clarify how the rating of high for defences is justified? Are the ion shields that strong?

 

[John Locke]

[member="Levanthal Eastwind"]

I am archiving this submission for inactivity.

If you wish to have it pulled from the archive please contact a member of factory staff.

 

[John Locke]

Moved to Factory Archives - If you want to remove from the archives, please feel free to tag [member="Runi Verin"], [member="John Locke"], [Member="Alden Akaran"] or [Member="Zef Halo"].

 

[John Locke]

[member="Levanthal Eastwind"] Now pulled out as per request.

 

[John Locke]

[member="Levanthal Eastwind"]

What is the status of this submission?

 

[Levanthal Eastwind]

[member="John Locke"] Had it edited to your last request (I think) and am waiting for review

 

[John Locke]

[member="Levanthal Eastwind"]

I'm sorry, but I still don't understand the defenses as you've got them set up. Are you saying that the ship would be weak to attacks such as turbolasers and rail guns, but be able to shrug off ion cannons?

In terms of the description, I'm afraid that this is very low for the submission this is. I'd have to bring your attention again to the language involved.

The Frigate is a battlecruiser destroyer, it was made to easily take them down with a simple strategy.

There are two things I have to point out here. Firstly your opponent will be the one to decide the damage that they take, and even if their ships get hit or not so I'd prefer if you removed hte word easily since that would indicate taht it is a guarenteed strategy which in this case it is not.

Its strategy would be to launch a conner net and fire its railgun. It's used as a support craft for the back of the fleet.

I can also see that you have failed to answer my previous issue with the strategy. Namely, a Connor net is at the most 1km in size, a battle cruiser is anywhere between 3 and 5 km, so how does the 1km net disable the battlecruiser enough to allow the Railgun to attack it? In addition you mention that this is meant as a support ship for the rear of the fleet, so how is the connor net deployed in such a way to be able to hit the battlecruiser? And how does it get through the battlecrusier's own shields? While I'm a big fan of seeing smaller ships given limelight, the way you're describing the ship could lead to uncertainty or issues later that it's better we deal with now.

Please read through my point and tag me back when you have decided how you'd like to proceed.

 

[Levanthal Eastwind]

[member="John Locke"] I changed it up to my standard format to remove all complications with that

 

[John Locke]

[member="Levanthal Eastwind"]

Thank you for making those changes.

APPROVED

 

[John Locke]

Approved.