Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Tutorial The Amateur's Guide to Writing Romance on Chaos

Lord help me.

This is (mostly) serious advice, but as with any of my other posts, take it with a grain of salt.

1. Don't bother.

Chaos isn't a romance writing site. I'd argue most people aren't into it on here. So why bother?

2. Follow the rules.

I’m going to try and keep this section brief, because I think it’s pretty self-evident. The term “smut” gets thrown around a lot on Discord in a joking manner, but ERP is not allowed on Chaos in any form. Because Chaos is a site which allows minors to RP, hosting adult content would be dangerous and inappropriate.

While some things may be implied (i.e. a “fade to black”), you should also be careful how far you take it. Don’t push the envelope. If you are about to post something, but find yourself thinking “I’m not sure if this is appropriate” go with your gut and edit out the inappropriate parts before posting. Better safe than sorry.

I’m not going to get into any discussion of differing opinions on what is considered appropriate or not, because I find that those types of conversation are usually less about RP and more about criticizing other cultural/religious/personal customs and sensibilities because they don’t line up perfectly with yours. When it comes to Chaos, just follow the site rules.

3. Don’t be a creep.

Your motivation for writing romance should be a desire to add something to your character’s story, and thus further their development. People like writing romance because it places their character in a new situation they may or may not know how to navigate. It can unveil hidden sides to them, vulnerabilities and strengths. It’s a universal experience with a lot of dramatic potential, and it can be a lot of fun to write.

But if you act like a creep, you will ruin the fun. Even if your behavior isn’t technically breaking the rules, you should strive to not make other writers uncomfortable. If you are seeking to write romance for any reason other than to tell a story, you shouldn't be writing romance.

Basically, follow the general roleplaying etiquette. Communicate and have empathy. Don’t try to foist your personal preferences on other people, convince them to change their character, or pressure them to do things they don’t want to do. If you make people uncomfortable, they won’t want to write with you in general, let alone romance.

4. It’s all IC bro.

Shenanigans occur. People don’t communicate as well as they should. They are fickle and change their minds without telling you, or go behind your back and do things out of misguided malice. Do not allow yourself to become so personally invested in this that it bothers you when things don’t work out as planned. You can be a bit bummed or annoyed that your plans will have to be changed, but don’t take it any further than that.

Bottom line, don’t try to use romance for OOC purposes. It cannot substitute for a real life relationship, nor should you be using it to take revenge or ruin someone’s fun. For one, it almost certainly will not have the effect you intended, because RP isn’t real life and people don’t really care about what happens to their fictional characters… most of the time. If this is a healthy hobby, and not an all-consuming obsession, that is. But let’s not go there.

5. I thought this was supposed to be about romance advice, not lecturing.

I thought so too. Anyway, the best way to do it is to hit it off with somebody and continue to write with them until one or both of you decides to make a move.

What, you thought there were specific things you had to do to attract a love interest? I mean, I guess your character having nice art sort of helps? And a nicely formatted bio. And posts that are clear and readable. Personally I like characters whom I find interesting, which essentially doesn’t mean anything, because I can’t really tell you what exactly I find interesting about them. They’re just… interesting, for some reason.

It also helps if your character and another character have something in common, although opposites can attract too. Like I said, there’s no predicting these things. In fact, the surprise of finding love when you're not looking for it is part of the fun.

6. Don’t advertise for a love interest.

I’ve seen people post an LFG asking for someone to write their character’s love interest. While many of these are well-meaning, it tends to come across as desperate, which is off-putting. People prefer romance to develop naturally over time as characters get to know each other.

This is especially true if you’re new to the site or your character is brand new. Make some friends and develop your character before you try to rope anyone into a long-term story arc (which is ultimately what all great romances become). Don’t make a character just to serve as somebody’s love interest. That would be boring. Your character should have a life outside their love life.

7. Take your time.

There is no specific number of threads you have to write before you get to be a couple; it varies depending on circumstances. You could be having a first kiss already in your very first thread, or barely holding hands after ten threads. Nobody cares how long it takes you as long as the progression makes sense and all parties are happy with it.

8. I'm running out of things to say.

Go away. Please. You're embarrassing yourself just by reading this.
 
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Future.exe has launched

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Pretty important part about keeping it IC. Roleplayers of all kinds, regardless of whether its Chaos or not, have a really bad habit of "shitting where they eat".

Romance is one of those things where it's hard to ignore how much you're lying to us, when you claim it's IC but continually give OOC red flags. There's also a lot of leadership positions at Chaos, so it's easy to abuse those positions to apply OOC pressure to IC.

If you think you've been subjected to this, report it. Staff is 99% of the time a "shield" to step in to separate people and make sure OOC witch hunting doesn't happen - and we DON'T get used for exactly that reason, because most adults be like "Staff don't do shit yo they just gonna tell u to split up and leave." This imo, is because most people are too embarrassed or bullied into believing they're a pansy ass for saying "I'm being harassed".

That's because if Staff sees enough evidence to prove harassment, we hit those pretty hard. Because those guys and their OOC bad faith acting, all these paragraphs, pretty much all end up at one point - at times, there's a few cunts in the population that will ruin your safe experience with romance both IC and OOC here at Chaos. They're experienced cunts, too.

TLDR: Good writeup, romance rp is cringe to me but mostly bc I see the OOC side of things far too often. Regardless it should be safe for everyone if we just keep reporting the cunty 1% that tries to ruin it for us.
 
If you want to write romance RP, you're better off creating an NPC and writing your romance as you would in a short story/novel. In other words, you write both parties.

Why? Because if someone disappears you aren't left hanging, there's no risk of becoming attached to another writer in an unhealthy manner, and there's less chance of taking things too far to make another writer uncomfortable.

Trust me, I'm speaking from experience as someone who loves romance side-plots. You will be happier not requiring another writer to participate.
 

Elle Mors

Guest
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Go in expecting a bad time and hope for a good time. If it is a bad time you have nothing to be disappointed in, if all goes well then great. I'll be honest in that every character I've written for longer than a few months has had some degree of romantic pairing going on with their story, but they're always with people that I think I can trust. Do I have regrets? Sure, really only with one of them, but it was the one that gave me that mantra that I now apply to any writing I do with people.

Can't be let down if your expectations were low enough to begin with.
 

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