That's SENATOR Captain Jack Sparrow (Ask for invite)

[Jack Sparrow]

The Black Pearl knifed through space like a wingless bird of prey as envisioned by an artist influenced by Cubism. Her crew were currently a merry lot, having just received substantial payment upon seizing a very polite, if very fearful, SoroSuub Person Luxury Yacht, which happened to be carrying the entire fortune of a prominent banking family who were relocating very quickly and under very suspect circumstances. In return for not spacing the entire family (or worse, turning them over to the Banking Cartel), Jack and his crew had left with a small fortune in unmarked cred sticks, some very nice jewelry, and dinner, which had been in the process of being served.

Jack leaned back in his chair at the mess table and regarded the goblet in his be-ringed hand, watching the red liquid within glint beneath the Pearl's amber-tinted overhead lights.

"Message coming in Captain," came a voice over the ship's comm. It was the Ongree Second Mate Strewth Miloord, currently occupying the pilot's chair in the Pearl's cockpit.

"A thank you from our most recent benefactors, to the tune of 'You'll all die in a most violent and unproductive way,' no doubt," smiled Jack.

"No sir," said Strewth. "It's Kashyyyk, sir."

Jack pursed his lips. "I don't think I know anyone named Kashyyyk." The way it came out of the pirate sounded like a sneeze.

"The planet Kashyyyk, Captain."

Jack leaned forward, putting the goblet down on the table, followed by his elbows, and gave a look to his First Mate, Dewkazza.

"Where the Wookiees come from?" asked Jack.

"Aye sir," replied Strewth.

"Dewey, are we currently guilty of any crimes on your home planet?"

The Wookiee gave a throaty howl that was nevertheless devoid of real passion, adding a shrug of his massive shoulders.

"If I may, Captain," continued Strewth, "it seems you've been elected Senator."

Jack leaned back again and picked up the heel of a loaf of bread, using it to sop up a bit of leftover gravy. "Well, that's all right then." He paused with the bread halfway to his lips. "Was I...actually running for Senator?"

Pomwyn Gloor, the ship's quartermaster, chimed in, courtesy of his Personal Universal Translator. "Captain, remember when you told me to invest a percentage of our profits into various land holdings and legitimate businesses?"

"I most certainly do not," huffed Jack, clearly offended.

"Well you did. I purchased a house for you on Pantalomin, another on Prakith, and a third on Kashyyyk, and also filed paperwork to grant you citizenship on all of them. You signed the paperwork yourself."

"I don't remember that. Was I conscious?"

The Ithorian smiled with both mouths. "You were...feeling the effects of lum, sir."

Jack nodded sagely, biting down on the bread. As he chewed, he said, "Fair enough. Strewth, send my regards and set course for Kashyyyk!"

@Yusan Fenn

 

[Jack Sparrow]

The planet Kashyyyk was known mostly as the homeworld of the fierce (and fiercely loyal) Wookiees, but the planet also maintained a population that included emigrated Humans and the mysterious Sayormi, among other, smaller populations, and while all species attempted to live in harmony, it was true that they all maintained independant settlements. It was also true that all of them lived above ground. As far above ground as possible, and for their own safety.

Jack Sparrow didn't mind heights, but even he was a bit apprehensive about looking down from the wooden bridge that crossed from the one impossibly tall tree that contained the platform his official shuttle had landed on and the other impossibly tall tree that housed the Kashyyyk Senator's offices, now his offices.

"It's all browns and greens here, isn't it?" Jack asked the officious Human man who led the way.

"Mainly, yes," replied the man, whose name was Tinter Hauberk.

"I'll be wanting to do something about that," said Jack. "Blues, I think. Maybe some scarlets as well as an accent."

"Perhaps your'd like to see your offices first, Senator?" asked Hauberk.

"Perhaps," admitted Jack skeptically as they landed at last on the platform that led to the wooden street. "Now, as my secretary, am I able to ask you anything?"

Hauberk smiled and adjusted his pince-nez glasses. "Anything within reason, sir. Here we are." Hauberk opened the door to the very large building which sat on an even larger branch upon a massively large tree. This branch by itself actually housed not only the senate offices, but seven shops, a school, and nearly two dozen homes, one of which would be Jack's place of residence while in office.

"Good," said Jack, taking off his hat as he entered. "My question then, is this: how did I get elected Senator of Kashyyyk?"

Hauberk closed the door. "Well, as to that, sir, you were elected."

"Didn't even know I was running, mate" mused Jack, picking up a priceless Wookiee artifact from a nearby table and tossing it lightly into the air. Hauberk caught it with a gasp and carefully replaced it on the table.

"Someone submitted your name, sir."

"And then?"

"There was an election. Someone put together a resume of sorts and printed it. The people of Kashyyk decided you were the best choice."

"Good for them!" beamed Jack. "Heavily embellished, was it?"

Hauberk attempted to not look embarrassed, and did a fairly good job of it. "I...was required to dig a bit deeper into your past, sir, and will admit that some of the....more colorful facts of your career were somewhat...glossed over."

"Ellipsetically spoken, Mr. Hauberk." Jack pointed to a very fancy set of glass-panelled double doors. "The toilet?" he asked.

"Your office," corrected Hauberk with a small cough.

"Well then, I'll keep me pants on, then, shall I?"