Private Take a Day to Break Away

[Ryv]

Ashla's Embrace, a bubbling metropolis nestled away in one of the many mountain ranges decorating Tython. The city housed thousands, all followers of an obscure cult growing among some practitioners of the force. Perhaps the opposing side to sith upon the great cosmic coin, the Ashlan Order believed wholly in the goddess Ashla, a living embodiment of the force. Each of the city's inhabitants arrived after the eradication of most of the planet's life at the hands of the One Sith years prior. Guided by the Paladins of Ashla herself, the pilgrimage concluded on the lakeside of the powerful nexus. To the wonder of many, the grass itself grew before the eyes of each man, woman, and child. Already, plump fish swam about the flourishing ecosystem that should've shattered beneath the touch of corruption. Yet, it endured through it all. None could deny the prominence of such a display, and with the order's words to guide them, Ashla's Embrace grew beside the lake. Others flocked to the city as word of mouth spread throughout the faithful. A place devoid of shadow, guided by the devout, and home to only the pious likely attracted those sick of galactic terror.

Ryv wasn't one to hold faith close to heart. Where many saw peace, he saw blissful ignorance of the turmoil elsewhere in the galaxy. While he could not deny the feeling of tranquility that washed over him with each visit to the holy site, he also found it impossible to forget about the others out there far less fortunate. He knew with time; things would surely change. The Jedi Order, the Alliance, and now the Sons of Mandalore all were examples that hope still burned bright throughout the galaxy. If the Mandalorian people remained stalwart in the face of cultural genocide, the kiffar knew he could stand up and keep fighting—a lesson taught to him by Jocko Horn, the next Mandalore. A will of beskar was just the latest in a line of lessons taught to the Jedi, one he intended to keep close to his heart going forward. However, much work had to be done before Ryv could return to Peace and reunite with his friends. Cedric remained in a coma, meaning the Ashlan Order lacked a unifying voice. While his master could not fill that role, Ryv must shoulder the responsibility.

Nothing said he couldn't have others visit him, though. In a display, some would perhaps call selfish; he reached out to Peace discreetly. Before his disappearance, he'd been unsure of everything. And while that remained true in many ways, he knew his feelings for Auteme were no longer in question. During his time spent locked away, her face drove him to fight back every day. No matter the odds stacked against him, he pushed through until the opportunity to get out of that hell-hole presented itself, and when it did, he took it. He wasn't proud of the actions he took in his final day within the prison, but they were necessary. Injustice met a swift, righteous end at the hands of the next Mandalore, yet, Ryv felt the pain within him. Why didn't he stand for the weakened Sith? Why didn't he present him the chance of retribution? Why did he let his hate control him when it mattered most? So many questions rang through his mind, echoing back at him throughout the days. Even if his master were here to head the order, Ryv wasn't sure he could show himself to the Jedi Order once again. Would they forgive him for his failings? Could he forgive himself?

Elsewhere in the city, a group of knights-errant waited at Hope's Peak, the cities bustling spaceport. When Auteme revealed herself, the oldest of the trio approached her. Perhaps in his mid-teens, the young human nodded to the padawan.

"Master Karis sent us to retrieve you, miss Auteme. If you would come with us," the other two turned and led her to a speeder awaiting them outside of the port. It appeared older than what other cities could present, but it ran all the same. The human once more took the lead, sliding himself at the head of the speeder. He directed it across the city, flying high above the bustling life below. Stalls and businesses of varying sizes were attracting the attention of many, while others climbed along the various paths crossing through the mountainside. The architecture itself appeared carved directly from the stone by the hands of a master craftsman, further accentuating the beauty the city held. Off in the distance, growing closer with each passing second, a massive tree stood in the center of a crystal clear lake. Tiny islands floated above the surface of the water. Some were home to little batches of wildlife themselves, while others were barren, floating aimlessly, fit only to act as a perch to a wayward bird. The speeder soon set down upon the island housing the gargantuan tree. "Here we are. Do be careful, miss Auteme, the island is sacred ground," he spoke with a smile, each of the trio offering a salute of their own before the speeder turned and shot off back to the city.

When Auteme turned to peer at the massive tree, a familiar figure stood at the mouth of an enormous cave entrance carved into the towering trunk. Though a new scar dotted his face and he's bulked up a fair bit since their last goodbye, Ryv very much looked the same, even wearing that trademarked grin of his.

Auteme ​

 

[Auteme]

T Y T H O N
Tag: Ryv ​

---

She didn't know.

If there was one thing Auteme hated, it was not knowing. She spent all this time researching, trying to understand the galaxy, learning more about every planet, person and thing that ever existed such that there was nothing that she would fear because she would understand it all. Still, the fear of the unknown permeated galactic society. It hurt her the most when she worried about things that she could discover but were just out of reach. Where her parents had gone, where her mentor had left for... what had happened to Ryv Karis, the young kiffar she'd grown so close with.

It had been a sickening few months after he'd left. She was reminded of the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. She'd decided it was about time somebody rewrote those stages. They weren't even stages, anyways -- it was more like a rollercoaster, one she couldn't get off. Some days she'd wake up in the morning and quietly think of all the horrible ways Ryv might've died. She'd spent hours upon hours in the meditation rooms, desperately searching for that little connection through the Force she'd felt so strongly before. Nothing.

At first she kept hope for his safe and quick return, but that hope diminished every passing day. Isolating herself wouldn't have been healthy, so she still talked to Loske and Bernard and Aaran. When they asked, she'd said she was fine. Sad, but fine. Then she'd try to change the subject, talk about something she'd learned, anything to distract from the pain -- even though she knew the others were hurting, too.

And now, he was back, grinning as if nothing happened, and... Auteme didn't know what to feel.

As soon as she'd heard he'd been rescued she left for Tython. The trip passed in an instant; she barely paid attention to what her escort was saying or the city they went through. She'd traveled light, with only a small bag of personal effects at her side as she exited the speeder when they finally arrived. She didn't even spare a word to the trio who'd brought her, and nothing about her surroundings, because she could only focus on the young man who was waiting for her under the tree.

Her steps were slow, tentative, as she approached him; as if he was a mirage that might disappear once she got closer, or that might stay forever out of reach at the horizon. She stopped a few meters away, still just staring at him, before finally breaking through and bringing Ryv into a hug. Auteme didn't cry or cry out. She didn't say anything.

 

[Ryv]

Such a place typically captured Ryv's attention, though it proved hard to focus on his surroundings since his return. Lots of things changed since he disappeared from the order, kidnapped by imperial purge commandos. Brought to a sith controlled labor camp, he feared what would inevitably happen to him, surrounded by a group of people who hated him for the sins of his predecessors. Would someone shiv him during the hour in the yard? Maybe he'd be beaten to death in the beskar mines, out of sight and out of mind of the guards paid to keep an eye on him. With little to do and plenty of time in the day, his mind often wandered to all the awful things, but there were good things he thought about too. The time he spent training with his friends had become a cherished memory, one he wanted to relive as soon as possible. His silly crush on Loske that he held for maybe a few weeks at most after meeting her even came to mind, something he ended up laughing about after a particularly rough session with the Sith. Above all else, Auteme danced through his mind.

Whether he slept or mined for the Mandalorian iron, Auteme often jumped to the forefront of his mind. The nights spent sitting together and chatting, lunches they shared when either of them could get away from their duties aboard Peace, and even the nights she spent asking questions about the games he played pushed him to hold onto hope. There were plenty of times he almost gave up that hope, but she remained on his mind, urging him to endure it all. He knew from the beginning he wanted to get back to her, to hold her in his arms again, and tell her he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, he loved her. It became clear he wasn't scared of dying in prison. The fear of living an entire life away from her frightened him the most. It led him to call her to his temporary home on Tython so that they could be together again. Yet, fear welled in his chest and threatened to spill out of him.

With the moment inching closer, Ryv feared her rejection. He'd been stupid in throwing himself at soldiers trained specifically in taking on force users. Still, Lanik and Bernard would've suffered a similar fate to their kiffar companion if he hadn't put himself between them and danger.

"Hmm," he hummed softly to himself, his bare hands running along the bark of the massive tree—flowers of varying shades decorated thick vines decorating the surface. "I dunno what I'm even gonna say to Auteme," he whispered as his forehead rested against the tree. "I uh, I wish you were here, dad. You were always so good with people, made it easy during introductions, I guess," he turned away from the tree and lifted a watering pail. He moved to a nearby bushel of flowers, showering them with the life-giving waters of the lake. "I think she's gonna hate me. I promised I wouldn't leave her like everyone else," he sniffled, his eyes moistening. "And I ended up doing it anyway, like, what's wrong with me?" he set the pail down beside the small garden and looked off towards the floating islands, the largest of them gently drifting through the air. The sight of an approaching speeder shook him from his trance-like state. He wiped at his face with his arm and watched the speeder descend to the island. "Okay, here we go."

He didn't say anything as she approached, instead allowing her to determine the interaction. For the first time, Auteme would be able to see the bare flesh of his forearms. Tattoos decorated the entirety of his left arm, though the inked flesh also bore scars running in all different directions. The right-arm practically mirrored the left, though it appeared worse off than the other, as if someone paid special attention to it one particular day. A scar ran along his jaw and up to his cheek, stopping midway across the soft flesh. He could feel his heart thumping against his chest as his cheeks flushed red, but he bit kept the smile from his face at that moment. It wasn't until she moved forward and took hold of him did he allow it to burst onto his face. He rested his chin on the top of her head before kissing it once.

"I'm so sorry, Auteme."

Auteme ​

 

[Auteme]

T Y T H O N
Tag: Ryv ​

---

What did she want from this all? She'd been so desperate to get him back, but now that he was here, she had to think to the future. All that time she'd thought him coming back would fix everything, that the warmth she felt now would wash away the memories of every quiet night she'd spent cold and alone. But still she was saddled with the pain of loss even as she felt overjoyed about being reunited.

No, this was... different, than with her parents, or her mentor. The old Mandalorian had told her exactly what was going to happen -- he was going to leave, probably forever. So he left. She'd been sad, but she hadn't been devastated or surprised by it. With her parents, she'd always just assumed they were dead; when they came back so suddenly into her life, she really only felt the pain.

Ryv, though... she now realized she never truly believed he was dead. She'd been holding onto hope every day, and now she just let it go. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks before she buried her face into the crook of his neck. "What'd I say about apologizing so much," she muttered, almost letting out a laugh. It wasn't very funny. But she needed to get it all out.

"Just... just tell me you're okay, Ryv." She squeezed him tightly, her eyes shut in the same way.

 

[Ryv]

Ryv rested his chin on her head as she cried, tears of his own running down his cheeks. He wanted more than anything to take away whatever pain she felt in his absence and reassure her he wasn't going anywhere again. Aside from the hand gently gliding up and down her back, he stood still, acting as a rock for her during the emotionally charged reunion. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he did so many months before, allowing everything to fade away while he absorbed everything about her. When she next spoke, he let his eyes open, and he carefully pulled away. One arm remained looped around her while the other reached up to wipe away some of her tears with bare fingers.

"I know, Auteme, I know," Ryv's voice came out soft, barely above a whisper. He felt his next words catch in his throat, unable to escape as he studied every inch of her face. His other hand joined the first as both thumbs gently ran up her jawline, ending just beneath her hair. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead before pressing his against hers. "I missed you so much, Auteme. I thought about you almost every second of every day. I realized so much while I was gone, I don't even know where to begin," each word came out shaky as if he struggled to maintain his composure, but the look of bliss in his eyes spoke of excitement and joy, rather than sadness. "I'm just gonna start simple and make my way up to the bigger stuff, I think," he wrapped his arms around her once more while maintaining eye contact.

"I wasn't terrified of dying there or anything. I got our boy back home; everything should've been normal again, you know? But I realize staying there would've been worse than death. You're just, I dunno, perfect?" Ryv paused as he considered the sentiment. "Perfect for me, at least. Anyway, I didn't want to stay there knowing you were out here. I wanted to be here with you. I wanted to feel your hands playing with my hair; I wanted to listen to you read all your dusty old books about all the cool stuff out there I don't know about. I wanted to talk to you about all the boring tasks Wyatt had me do during my day. A life in chains for Lanik and Bernard's safety was worth it. A life without you, well, that would've sucked so much. I-" his words caught once more, his cheeks flushed a deep crimson color. He couldn't help but think about the night he told her he liked her, it been so spontaneous, but it also felt so real.

"I love you, Auteme. That's what I realized while I was gone. Every time I felt the sting of a blade, or tool, or fist, all I could think about was getting back home. I knew I could endure it because I had to get back to you. I needed to tell you the truth, you know?" Ryv shrunk back a bit, clearly nervous as he bore his heart and soul on his sleeve. "I'm not scared of these feelings anymore. Everything I just went through, it really just sucked a lot, but I can't run off and do dumb stuff like that anymore. I don't know what life has in store for us, but I want to be here beside you. Maybe things don't work out, maybe we're just buddies at the end of it all, and that's okay too! I just know you're my best friend, and I never want to hurt you again, cause- well, I love you, Auteme."

Auteme ​

 

[Auteme]

T Y T H O N
Tag: Ryv ​

---

All she could really do was listen as Ryv poured his heart out. Before now, she only felt this in passing -- when he'd first told her how he felt, the quiet days they spent together, even the occasional glance in her direction as his thoughts turned to her. She'd felt it before, but hearing him say it out loud just made her cry more. Her tears of sadness slowly gave way to tears of joy. He'd been away a long time; so long that it seemed Auteme had forgotten a few things about him. Most importantly that he never gave up.

Knowing that he spent every day thinking about her, every day pushing through to get back showed it wasn't like the other times she'd felt abandoned. It brought her pain when she remembered how she'd felt for the past few months, but now she had hope for the future. Ryv hadn't stopped thinking about her. They'd have time to fix things now. She quietly promised herself that she wouldn't give up either.

Even as he described his struggle, his pain, Auteme flooded her heart with all the love and compassion she had, knowing Ryv would feel it too. For so long she'd been keeping it in. Now that they were sharing their feelings, she realized she couldn't really put it into words. Every time she tried to describe how she felt about him, it fell flat -- today, she let it out.

"I missed you, too," she said. She didn't blush or look embarrassed; she was just being honest. "You didn't hurt me. I just... felt afraid that you weren't coming back. I really shouldn't have been. I guess I forgot how determined you are for a bit." A smile finally broke onto her face. "I love you, Ryv."

 

[Ryv]

There were so many things Ryv wanted to say as she spoke, but he remained silent. Auteme always listened to him ramble about anything and everything. Never judging him in how he spoke or behaved. He didn't like silence; it made him nervous and uncomfortable, its why he talked so much. She enabled him to speak his mind, and she listened to whatever he said. No one else before her offered him that luxury. He often wondered if she realized how happy it made him just to get to speak his mind to someone like her, without fear of judgment. Knowing her, she probably did. If bold-faced bravery was second nature to Ryv, then kindness was the same to his beautiful companion.

Her words brought a rush of passionate emotion to his heart. It raced outward from there, sending tingles through his body. Goosebumps grew across his skin as his cheeks turned the color of his clan-tattoo, lighting him up like a Sith Lord's saber. He couldn't help himself as he swept her up into his arms and spun on his heels at her words. She loved him too! He hadn't heard those three words since the day his father passed on, but they felt so familiar, like the voice of an old friend. He met her beautiful green gaze once more and leaned forward, pressing his lips against hers without a second thought. He held himself there for as long as she'd allow, eventually breaking away to look into her eyes once again.

"I uh- haha, oh man," Ryv put her down, still a shade of red as he rubbed his hands together. "I-I'm sorry, that was so sudden I know, it's just- you know, you're so beautiful, and I just wanted to kiss you. It's one of those things I couldn't stop thinking about while I was gone," his hand went to the back of his head where he nervously scratched at a scar left behind from one of the night's he experienced the Sith's cruel attention. "I want to show you something, though, Auteme. If that's cool, I mean. I think you'd really like it," he continued to stumble over each word as he motioned towards the mouth of the cave a few dozen feet from them.

"One of my duties here is tending the grove beneath the tree. I never see you with a lightsaber, so I thought this would be a cool opportunity to share a pretty neat experience."

Auteme ​

 

[Auteme]

T Y T H O N
Tag: Ryv ​

---

She was... kind of a bad kisser. Well, maybe more of a boring one.

What? Couldn't blame her, she'd never kissed anyone before. It hadn't really been a thing on her mind before now. Sure, they'd been in a relationship for a while, but they'd never kissed. It'd never crossed her mind. The physical side of things was less interesting to her... until now, at least. When their lips finally parted, it was like a great fog had been lifted from her vision. She could see him again. He'd gotten taller, bigger -- but his eyes and smile stayed the same. It was clear to her that he never once thought about his own pain during his imprisonment.

As that fog lifted she noticed more of her surroundings. The cave, the great tree, the verdant fauna native to Tython... it was like she could suddenly see all that was beautiful in the world. Her eyes focused back on Ryv, his nervous expression. She couldn't help but grin. "You don't need to be embarrassed around me," she reminded him gently.

Now that he mentioned it, she realized it would've been kind of silly for him to just be waiting around for her, doing nothing. He had responsibilities here, too. And now that she'd opened her eyes again, she felt a familiar warmth from the Force -- the power of a nexus.

"Does this cave have lightsaber crystals?" She asked, walking with Ryv towards it. Was he taking her to get one? She'd gotten a crystal a while ago, but she'd never made a lightsaber. Still, she didn't want to say no to him. Getting a crystal wasn't a commitment to making a saber... and the experience had been very enlightening to her. She was more eager to start healing their relationship by spending time together.

 

[Ryv]

Sharing a kiss with Auteme had a similar effect on Ryv as it did her. The world seemed just a bit brighter, as the vibrancy all around them set in on the kiffar's senses. Whereas he had changed, she remained mostly the same, and he loved every second of it. Auteme's words immediately put Ryv at ease as well. He let out a deep breath as tension visibly escaped his body. He mentally scolded himself for allowing his nerves to get the better of him when it came to her again. Perhaps the time spent locked away made him a tad too guarded in general, but her demeanor seemed to cut through it with little trouble. It kept the smile on his face and his cheeks a pink color.

"Not being embarrassed is one of my favorite things. You don't have to tell me twice," Ryv chuckled and turned his gaze to the cave entrance. "There are lightsaber crystals, yeah. I dunno if you're missing the crystal or just haven't set aside the time to make the lightsaber. I don't think it matters too much, to be honest. The grove itself is pretty neat. I think you'll just like the energy of being down there," he reached up with both arms and took a second to stretch and release whatever leftover tension settled into his body during the long wait for her arrival.

Ryv reached out to take her hand, a familiar warmth and sense of comfort flooding over him as his fingers interlocked with her own. "The nexus nurtures the land around here, keeping it lush and lively. Helps maintain the city you flew through," he began to lead them down the cave's entry. Rather than the usual dank, stale smell one would expect to find in an underground space, the tunnel smelled of upturned soil instead. A dozen wildflowers of differents shades grew along the path and peeked out from cracks in the wall. Further study would show small reptilians and insects scurrying along the vegetation. Strangely, they did not seem scared of Ryv or Auteme's passage. The little critters almost appeared to be trying to get their attention.

"These little dudes are cute. Watch this," Ryv stopped and reached out to one of the larger bushels on the wall. A large reptilian head poked out and peered at the two Jedi. The rest of its long body soon followed suit as it began to crawl along the kiffar's arm. The lizard creature's body rivaled that of a small puppy, but Ryv lacked any concern as it coiled around his arm and rested on the shoulder opposite of Auteme. "They only show this sorta attention to force users who come here on their pilgrimage. They hide from the non-force users. I'm thinking the nexus has made them force-sensitive as well, at least in a minor capacity."

He picked up his pace once more, finally leading her through the threshold into Ashla's Heart itself. Thick roots from the massive tree above poked through the dirt, digging through the small cavern to seek out nutrients deeper in the earth. Though none were uniform in size, each one housed shining crystals of various sizes that appeared to grow from the roots themselves. Many of the smaller creatures laid about on or near the crystals, basking in their soft glow.

"There are over twenty unique species of flora and fauna in this grove alone. I think you'd have a blast just seeing all the different creatures that call this slice of paradise home, my sweet."

Auteme ​

 

[Auteme]

T Y T H O N
Tag: Ryv ​

---

Auteme's hand fit comfortably in Ryv's, and she walked alongside him into the cave. She was quiet as he spoke. The presence of a Force nexus here was both surprising and not. Tython itself was incredibly rich in the Force -- part of her wanted to uncover the mysteries of the planet. Still, that life could be dangerous as well; while the little lizards found in the cave were friendly she knew that some others weren't the same. Auteme knelt and put her hand out, a smaller critter waddling up onto her arm. "That makes sense... Tython responds to Force users, and it isn't the friendliest to those without it."

And yet they had built a city here. Now that she thought about it, how could that be? Especially with all the light-side Force users that had been gathered. Tython was an odd, at times fickle planet from what she'd read. If too many light-side Force users, or too many dark-side Force users were present, it could cause devastating Force storms. That was why the Je'daii had striven for balance.

Balance... perhaps that was it. The light side had become concentrated here, so that had to mean an equal amount of the dark side had appeared elsewhere. Maybe there was a dark side nexus on the other side of Tython? Or perhaps this was the closest point to Bogan, one of Tython's moons, and the presence of the light side was meant to balance the dark. Then again, it might be a reaction to the ever-growing power of the Sith and the encroaching darkness that the Jedi faced.

But enough of that. She was here to appreciate the beauty of Tython, of the Force, and to spend time with Ryv. Her brain turned off, and her eyes were opened to the majesty of the grove before her.

Auteme was left speechless. "It's beautiful," she said, her grip on his hand slacking as she began to step forward, drawn to the tree. He was right, she could spend hours looking at the tree, and years studying the life forms here. The warmth of the nexus washed over her, and...

She spun on her heel and looked at Ryv. "Did you just call me 'my sweet'?" That was a new one.

 

[Ryv]

"From what we've found, folks living near the nexus haven't had too much issue on the planet. I don't know much about Tython, so you'll have to give me a pass on not knowing why people might have a hard time here," Ryv released Auteme's hand and moved to a large cluster of crystals. He knelt, allowing the lizard to crawl atop the earthen mound, before straightening. He turned back and silently watched her as she examined their surroundings. Something about her kept a smile plastered across his face. No matter how much time they spent away or the distance between them, he could recognize what about her he loved. If asked, he likely couldn't explain it, but he could see it in everything she did.

That tell-tale excitement that glimmered in her green eyes at the thought of learning something new, or perhaps the way she fell silent as she considered something only she'd understand. Ryv felt those moments, not with the force or his mind, but with his heart. It fluttered in his chest every time she noticed something new or exciting. These were the moments he longed for when the Sith strapped him down and carved into him like a meal.

When Auteme turned back to him, he couldn't summon the words to answer her. Instead, Ryv moved towards her and threw his arms around her in a brief hug.

"Sorry," a chuckle followed his apology. "Maybe it's goofy, but you're a sweetheart. Well, I guess you're my sweetheart. I haven't really been the best boyfriend, I think. You know I care about you, which is good, but there's a lot more to a relationship than caring about someone. I made you worry a lot; Peace kept me busy too, so I couldn't spend too much time with you before I went MIA. I just want you to know that I'm trying to be better all around. Not just as a Jedi, but also as a normal dude, and your boyfriend," he released her and stepped back. His hands clasped together behind his head as he began to wander about the grove. "It's possible none of that made sense, and I totally just word vomited on myself, so, my bad for that too."

Ryv stopped by a bushel of wildflowers and plucked one boasting violet petals. He sniffed it once before holding it out to her.

"There's one other place I want to show you once we're done here, but don't feel rushed. I love it down here. I want you to explore to your hearts content."

Auteme ​

 

[Auteme]

T Y T H O N
Tag: Ryv ​

---

"Tython is extremely strong in the Force," she began to explain. To be fair, Ryv probably already knew that. He'd obviously spent much more time here, and that was equal to anything she could pull from a book. Her readings had lead her to believe that Tython was unsafe for non-Force sensitives, but obviously she'd been wrong. "I can't recall the specifics, but when the system began to be colonized, the Je'daii residing on Tython relocated everyone else to the other planets in the system. It's possible that they wanted to keep Tython to themselves. It was basically holy ground to them." That theory wasn't what she wanted to believe, but it was still a possibility.

"The nexus could be shielding them, actually. Or because of Tython's strong Force presence, it's performing some kind of balancing act against other planets and beings in the galaxy? There are so many planets that are marked by the dark side, so maybe this one is trying to be something else." As much as she studied the Force, it was never truly something she could understand. Some might boil it down to midichlorians or whatever else, but she believed there could be no true, universal understanding of what such a great cosmic Force was. Fate, death, love... things one could never truly hope to control. It was odd, being a scientist and researcher, but also to believe that there was something beyond understanding influencing her every day.

Still, she could try to understand Ryv. He wasn't nearly as complicated as the Force -- and he made himself clear what he wanted and what he was feeling. To her at least.

Auteme listened closely, hugging him lightly as he explained her sweetheart-ness, only chiming in to say: "Yeah, you're pretty goofy." Aside from that, she was again reminded of Ryv's determination. He was doing his best.

"Ryv... you've got the most important first step," she said, giving an encouraging nod. Auteme paused for a moment, before beginning to exude a gentle warmth -- love, compassion, support for Ryv. The feelings were easier to project, knowing that Ryv had the ability to sense them more easily than most. Still, there was a twinge of regret as her gaze turned to her feet.

"On my way here... I thought I'd be mad with you, even though I didn't want to be. Guess I'm over that now," she muttered, a slight blush coming over her face. "Just... Ryv, you know what's right. Don't regret, or apologize. You're already doing great."

Again she paused, the sadness growing inside her. Maybe she'd been lying about the whole not mad thing, just a little bit. "When you were... away... I spent a lot of time in the meditation rooms. Read up on farsight. I thought... I might be able to find you." Her eyes met his. "But I couldn't feel you. I didn't see anything, and... what happened, Ryv?"

 

[Ryv]

Ryv fell back into silence as she spoke, listening to the brief explanation of Tython and its history. While he was familiar with the planet's strong connection to the force, he lacked any understanding of the Je'daii. Her mention of a holy land reminded him of the planet's current protectors. The Ashlan Order did not sway away from openly worshipping Ashla, the entity they believe comprised the brighter powers of the force. They ruled over the city and protected its people without question, going so far as to crusade against the darker beings of the galaxy without fear. How did they stack up to the Je'daii of old? Was the Ashlan Orders actions frowned upon by others for the more obscure faith they held close to heart? Under Cedric, the kiffar joined the holy order and distinguished himself as someone with potential, especially after killing a Sith Lord during his time away from his friends.

"It makes sense if the planet was trying to keep balance, I guess. The Sith have done so much bad, hurting people and planets alike, maybe Tython is working in overdrive to keep the balance," Ryv mused right alongside her, enjoying the momentary exploration of an idea. He never managed to have these moments on his own for some reason. Auteme managed to bring them out in spades, not only to enlighten him to so many secrets but also to inspire him to think and reason on his own. Throughout his life, he consistently followed someone or something, never looking past the veil placed before him; that is until she showed him the fun in exploring one's thoughts.

He wanted to tell her more about what he felt. His time away graced him with a vision, one that prophesized a great darkness that would soon envelop the galaxy in its clutches. Before he could, she spoke up, reassuring him that he needn't fear to fail her, for he was already succeeding. He wanted to sing and dance as she spoke, to showcase how much joy it brought him to know she saw his efforts for what they were. Instead, he hugged her tightly.

"Thank you, Auteme. It means a lot to see you look beyond what so many people can't get past," Ryv closed his eyes and fell into the warmth she exuded. The positivity showered him, further reassuring him he hadn't failed her or anyone else for that matter. When it slowly lost its heat and slipped away into a cold sadness, his eyes opened once more. He reached up, his hand cupping her cheek as she spoke. His thumb gently ran along the length of her cheek. "I'm sorry about that, too, lovely. You going out of your way to study that for me, it means the world to me, but it's why you couldn't find me. I-" he paused, allowing his vision to wander for a moment.

"I cut myself off from the force Auteme. My father spoke of it so much when I was a kid. I didn't get why someone would willingly give up their connection but," Ryv's jaw tightened as he remembered the events leading up to his kidnapping. "When we found Lanik, it was entirely through chance. We connected across the galaxy somehow. If it weren't for that, I don't think we would've found him. I didn't want that to happen for me, Auteme. I was scared you guys would run into a trap like we did, and someone else would end up captured," Ryv's voice trembled as he spoke. He looked back to her with so much pain trapped behind his gaze. "I'm fine giving my life for any of you. I love you all so much; you're my family. I'm not cool with anyone throwing away their life for me."

Ryv's other hand took hold of the back of her shirt, tightening his grip. It seemed to calm him down as if he focused on the moment instead of the memories of his capture. "I'm not sure when it returned to me. I had a collar on the entire time I was locked away that inhibited my connection. Every day was a struggle. I couldn't fall inward, I couldn't trust in the force to guide me. There wasn't an escape from their torture. It just hurt."

Auteme ​

 

[Auteme]

T Y T H O N
Tag: Ryv ​

---

She could feel the singing and dancing in his heart just fine. It made her feel happy knowing that she could make him feel happy. And just that was enough.

Auteme had known that bringing it up -- reminding him of his capture, and everything that had happened since -- would be painful. She'd hoped that it was nothing; after all she was just a padawan. Sensing someone across vast distances was difficult for even the masters, and she'd only begun to learn farsight after Ryv had been captured. Still, she'd thought that something might be there. It'd been six months. She'd had the time and commitment to spend hours in the meditation room, searching for even the smallest of glimpses or the tiniest of clues that would indicate that Ryv was alive, but...

Nothing.

She felt his pain too, and pulled him into a warm hug as she considered his words. He'd been trying to protect everyone. It made sense; Lanik's rescue hadn't exactly gone off without a hitch, and Ryv was so blindly selfless that he thought by sacrificing himself, everyone else would be fine. She was fine, but... the despair of not definitively knowing where he was, or whether or not he was alright had brought her pain. Not comparable to what Ryv went through, but it hurt all the same.

The silence hung for a long while, before finally she spoke again. "Thank you, Ryv. For always thinking and caring about me, and everyone else... but you should care about yourself, too. And even if you don't... think about me. Because I care about you, and I never want you to go through something like that again because you were worried about us. Or just... you know, go through something like that in general," she muttered, kind of undercutting her previous statements in that last bit. Still, she exuded a kind warmth again.

"I don't want you to struggle like that. And I know you're so selfless, and maybe I'm being kind of selfish, but... please, Ryv. I just want you to be safe."

 

[Ryv]

"Yeah, I know," Ryv's response came out softly as he pulled away from her. "Going through it was pretty awful, not gonna lie to you. If I can help it, I'm aiming not to find myself in that situation again. Turns out, the Sith can get pretty creative when it comes to hurting people," he chuckled as he lowered himself before the same bushel of wildflowers from earlier. He reached down to his belt and procured a hand-pruning tool. Almost absentmindedly, he began to slice away at portions of the plant that appeared a tad overgrown. "I've got a lot of scars that'll remind me not to do something stupid again. I think that uh, there is a part of me that is a bit arrogant too. Not like, I can beat everyone, you know? Cause I can't. It's more in the way that I don't know if I trust everyone else to do the right thing all the time," his pruning stopped as he paused his speaking. He stood up and moved towards a hanging vine housing a few lizard creatures.

"Lanik and Quill will do the right thing. I know that. I've seen it, but I've seen Aaran and Bernard lose themselves to their emotions before. Wyatt is the same," Ryv began cutting away at the large, bowl-shaped leaves that appeared to be weighing the vine down. "I don't know what happened to him, but I can feel his fear when it comes to the dark side. He's scared he'll lose himself to it," Ryv spoke each word with growing calm, as if the simple task kept his mind from the overwhelming surge of emotion he felt moments prior. "It's real hypocritical, given how many years I spent working for a Hutt out on Nar Shaddaa, running spice, drinking myself into a stupor, and dragging people who hadn't paid their debts to his club."

Ryv immediately straightened, a sense of shame burning through him as he realized what he'd just admitted to Auteme. He looked at her but could not meet her eyes. A past he fought desperately to leave behind caught up to him in what could be the stupidest way possible.

"Gotta be honest, didn't want to bring that up, like ever" Ryv admitted to her. "Pretty stupid of me to tell the one person I wouldn't want to think any less of me," he laughed at himself as he slid the tool back into his belt. He reached up and rubbed at his eyes, then pushed his hair out of his face. The kiffar stood up and peered back at Auteme. "I did a lot of bad stuff before becoming a Jedi again. I let my old man's death lead me to a real crappy place. If it weren't for Cedric, I'd probably still be there or dead on the floor of my old apartment. Which is kinda funny. When we first met, I got the impression you thought Cedric was too serious for his own good. To think he'd of managed to help someone like me."

Auteme ​

 

[Auteme]

T Y T H O N
Tag: Ryv ​

---

Auteme lowered herself to the ground as well, taking a seat in the soft grassy grove. She watched as he began to cut the leaves. It seemed to her that he had entered a sort of simple moving meditation; while earlier when he spoke of his past and his pain, she could feel those experiences and feelings. Now, she could still feel them, but there was a sense of calm permeating him. Perhaps his mind was being distracted by the task of trimming the leaves. Hopefully he'd begun to accept what had happened; not just how he'd been hurt, but everything that came with it.

She nodded with his assessment of his scars. They'd already healed over, so without cosmetic surgery they probably couldn't be removed -- good reminders for him. Of course it hadn't really been a problem Auteme had seen before; he trusted her, and they both tended towards doing the right thing. She wouldn't call it arrogance, perhaps more lack of trust in others when it came to said right thing. She considered her words carefully. "Ryv... do you think cutting yourself off from the Force when you were captured was the right thing to do?" She crossed her legs, looking intently at him.

"Jedi are still people. And people make mistakes. But a Jedi -- a Jedi doesn't dwell on that, because they were trying their best. Maybe, if they can't see what's right, you can show them." Honestly, she'd never seen that side of Aaran or Bernard. Being on Peace was different than being in a pitched battle. "People also get lost in their emotions... and when you see someone you love struggling, you've got to help them."

The revelation that Ryv had been a spice runner and Hutt enforcer... made her smile, but she managed to stifle a laugh. He'd been so skinny and self-doubting and apologetic. She couldn't imagine him working for a crime lord. Maybe his determination, if turned to the wrong cause, could be dangerous -- she needed to remind him that here he was safe. She kicked herself for almost laughing. It probably made him feel bad, but thankfully he was looking the other way. Auteme cleared her throat, again choosing her words carefully.

"Ryv..." She suddenly smiled, given another reminder of how much he cared for her. "Ryv, if anything that makes me think more of you. You were obviously in a bad place before Cedric found you, but you were able to turn yourself around. And now... you're you. You're a Jedi. And I think you're amazing. Whatever's in your past, you overcame it. I grew up pretty sheltered, and now..." She tilted her head slightly, casting her gaze on the green grass. "I'm indecisive and weak and a dozen other little things. And you have flaws, too, but compared to where you came from? You're a thousand times better. And you can do a lot of good."

 

[Ryv]

Auteme's words often brought a sense of worth to Ryv's struggling view of himself. He looked forward to hearing what she had to say more than what most others could manage. This situation was the first time she couldn't brighten his mood outright. Maybe the sense of self-loathing that rooted itself into his spirit nearly a decade earlier had something to do with it. Each step in his journey from the point Cedric found him led him towards a sense of redemption, or so he thought. His friends looked up to him for never giving up when it came to doing the right thing, yet, what did he accomplish on Kintan? What about Kesh? Always a step behind greater evils, never able to fight them off and protect what mattered. It all had to stem from somewhere.

Ryv looked down at scarred hands, clenching them into fists. "Auteme, I-," he reached up and ran his hands through his hair. "This is something that goes far back. I feel like I've always been too late to make a difference. But I can't change any of that now, you're right. I have to let all of this go. Otherwise, it's just gonna sit inside me and keep weighing me down," he stepped up to her and set his hand on her head. "Thank you for looking past the parts of me that suck, hah," the kiffar leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "I don't think you're weak. I don't know about being indecisive though. You've always known the right thing to say and when it comes to us, you keep everything on the right track."

With a grin, Ryv ruffled her hair until it was nice and messy before his hands dropped back to his sides. "I dunno if cutting myself off from the force was the play. I guess it depends on what you're referring to. It could've kept me safer because I wouldn't have to went through the whole torture business without a means of escape," he paused and crossed his arms. "I'd of risked the entire order if I didn't. Which makes me think what I went through was worth it, even if everyone disagreed."

A small flock of birds fluttered into the cave, taking up a perch watching over the duo in the low-hanging branches and vines. They chirped softly, happily greeting the two Jedi. Ryv looked up at them and chuckled, whistling an off-key tune song back at them.

"What makes you think you're weak and indecisive, Auteme?"

Auteme ​

 

[Auteme]

T Y T H O N
Tag: Ryv ​

---

"Ryv..." The touch of his lips against her forehead gave her a little pause, but oddly enough it was the ruffling of her hair that made her blush. She never really thought about the... physical part of their relationship, but in the moment she felt her heart rate rise and blood rush to her cheeks. Auteme pulled Ryv back and kissed him. Was it wrong to want to just smooch a bit? Lust -- if she could call it that -- was something new to her. Maybe it was the whole new deal of his. Muscles and scars and whatnot. Or perhaps more the new honesty and passion he'd brought. Whatever it was, she liked it, and hopefully Ryv realized that. Alas, enough kissing for now.

She stopped and let him go, her mind returning instantly to this 'dilemma'. He was so intent on saving others that he was willing to sacrifice himself completely. Even with a chance that he could be saved, he didn't want it out of fear that others might be lost in the attempt. Selflessness was obviously a sort of circle, rather than a simple scale. Ryv was so selfless it went all the way back around to selfish again... but she couldn't fault him for it. It was a Jedi's duty to protect people. "I don't think it's fair, that you'll run off to save someone, but others can't do the same for you." She tilted her head just slightly as she looked at him. It was the sense of powerlessness, inability, that scared her the most. Knowing that someone she cared about was in danger, or worse -- it was an unpleasant feeling, to say the least. Auteme sighed deeply, speaking from the heart. "For me, it was... I hate not knowing. Being unsure. You were in danger, and I couldn't do anything. I don't know if that's worse than trying to rescue you and failing, but it still hurt," she admitted.

With his question she realized a few things in quick succession. Her first thought was embarrassment; she rarely spoke of her own feelings, as she felt that others had more difficulty knowing and dealing with their faults than she did. As soon as she thought that she realized her hypocrisy. Calling out Ryv for having a double standard? That wasn't so great. If anything, she needed to show her own maturity and openness when it came to herself. A relationship needed two people, after all.

"Well... I'm not very strong with the Force, or at fighting, and I'm not very assertive or leader-like. That's what I mean by weak. Like, the traditional sense of it. I think I'm strong in other ways, is all, but it's still a shortcoming," she said. Her eyes wandered to the birds, and she listened to their song for a little while before continuing. "Indecisive... well, most of the time it's pretty easy. When there's a right answer. And lately things have been pretty easy in that sense. There are usually things to do, and a good way to do them. But sometimes I'm less sure, like..." She struggled to find an example from her own life. All she could think of was how sheltered she'd been lately.

"Um, take Grand Admiral Thrawn. He was an Imperial officer for the Galactic Empire, and he fought against the early New Republic. A brilliant military strategist, incredibly intelligent man, someone who won the hearts of his entire fleet with his actions and the respect of all for his cunning. Was he a good man? I don't know, I can't decide. He fought against the more benevolent New Republic on the side of the Empire, which for over two decades had been an incredibly tyrannical galactic state. But later we learned that he knew about the impending Yuuzhan Vong invasion, which the New Republic handled poorly at nearly every turn, whereas the remnants of the Empire were extremely successful in handling that threat. With Thrawn, they could have more quickly united and dealt with the Yuuzhan Vong... and that's a whole other discussion, considering how the Vong Shapers helped the galaxy later in an attempt to revitalize devastated planets, even though their culture is arguably one of the most malicious and belligerent out there. But anyways, Thrawn is arguably a man who did bad things for the right reasons...

"I'm just rambling," she said sheepishly, stopping herself from ranting further. "Just... um... sometimes, with important things, I have a hard time making decisions. I learn all this stuff, so I have all these answers, and when I don't, I have trouble." Nice going. Could've just started with that, instead of talking about all this random stuff.