Rave Merrill's Place
Meditation
The Force.It moved around all things, in life and death it was without a doubt the most unpredictable thing in the galaxy. Light, dark, and whatever remained of balance all depended on the Force.
It had been years at this point since Mishel had returned to First Order space, getting in wasn't easy. Several check points getting into the now isolationist nation, along with papers. Papers to provide some sort of proof that she wasn't just some vagrant, and that she had legitimate reason to be there. Holocall after holocall, including one being placed directly to her sister [member="Alessandra Creed"] to secure her passage through First Order space. Officially, she was here as a student from some Geonosian college looking to do a program at New Habat University. Unofficially, Mishel had arrived for more personal matters. Dressed in Corellian attire, blast vest, flight pants and a long sleeve tunic with black flight boots she didn't have the look of a traditional student. Especially of the typical science kids that attended New Habat, add that plus the amount of plastoid armored guards and all the cameras money could buy. She was more than aware that she was being watched.
'Meditate at Rave Merrill's old place,' it was all she remembered from her conversation with [member="Jorus Merrill"] when she inquired about materials in which to craft her lightsaber. He was probably more surprised that she hadn't made one for herself yet, and then directed her here. For the longest time, she was afraid of returning to First Order space, but any good Jedi worth their salt could face their fears. Or so she thought, not until a Mirialan Jedi she ran into years ago resurfaced. Her first encounter with the woman was on Ossus, the two fought and Mishel got away. The Jedi did not give up so easily, and had agreed to meet Mishel on Varunda IX. "Fear is the path to the darkside, fear leads to anger, and anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering." Said the Jedi as she approached Mishel from a distance, the sight of the university now behind the Tygaran. "It is nice to see you again."
"Thanks, I mean, at least we're not stabbing each other this time?" Mishel returned with an off-handed grin, "but seriously thank you, you didn't have to do this. Especially not after..."
Ammee gave Mishel a small nod of understanding. "I am happy enough to see you here."
Back in those days, Mishel had been Mežsrožu Ren, a daughter of Seiger Ren. One of his many 'children,' meant to serve his will and that of his empire, the First Order. It was he who had fetched her from the jaws of war on Tygara, it was at his order that she be reborn, that her old life as Riona Kerrigan-Alcori be over. It was he who dispatched her to Ossus when the First Order invaded the Silver Jedi's space. Retaliation for their interference on Skor II she was dispatched to lay waste to one of the cities, Ammee, a Jedi Knight at the time encountered her.
Now here they were on Varunda IX.
"Trust me, I'm just happy to be alive." Mishel scarcely recalled her actions as Mežsrožu Ren. Mežsrožu had been developed after one of Seiger's culling as a way to protect herself. A stronger, darker person who towed the line between neutral and chaotic evil quite often. Sometime after Ossus when the First Order went back to war, this time against the Galactic Alliance for a second time. She escaped their clutches and after running into her former Master Samka Derith on Dagobah, Mishel was finally and officially free of the Ren. "So this place, Jorus said it was a bit of a hike, did he send you the details?"
Ammee nodded and answered. "He did, Jorus is not a name I have heard in quite sometime, but then we come from different paths." The green-skinned Jedi was one of the last students of Tython before it was sacked, again. She motioned for Mishel to move forward and then fell in step beside her. Ammee had the teachings of the Old Ways, having studied the older if not antiquated texts of Master Yoda and some of the Old Republic masters. "What finally motivated you to come to Varunda, Mishel?"
Mishel looked over at the other woman a moment and then turned her attention back to the path ahead of them. "Not sure, part of me wants to say because I just want to get this over with. Another part of me says that I need to be here, that I won't really be a Jedi until I'm here and ... I don't know." She gave a shrug, unsure of what was the right answer or rather what Ammee wanted to hear. Coren was hardly around to teach her what she needed to know. Romi wasn't here, and Marakai had business today and so she was here on her own. "Maybe I'm overthinking it."
"Clear your mind," Ammee instructed, hands behind her back as the burlap robe shifted. The hood of it lay flat against her back as her dark green hair unfurled over it. "Clear your mind Mishel, and focus on what brings you here to Varunda. What brings you back to the land of your dark past." Her voice was soft, soothing really as she spoke and Mishel looked around them a moment. Stepping off the road she looked at Ammee and then took a deep breath and exhaled. "Relax, breathe and let go, trust in the Force Mishel."
As she closed her eyes, Mishel focused at first on Ammee's voice. She then shifted her focus, breathed and centered herself as the whisper of the Varundan wind passed her by. Rustling of the trees overhead became louder and at first she saw nothing, nothing but the black depths of what she feared. She feared that she would fail and fall to the dark side, she feared that her return to Varunda would somehow result in her regressing and turning back into what she was. A Knight of Ren, a child of darkness, another tool for Seiger to use. Mishel let the Force guide her and replied to Ammee, "I came here as part of my trials, I wish to grow and to learn in the ways of the Force and so I came here."
Ammee nodded and motioned for Mishel to continue.
"I must name my fear if I wish to banish it, and so here I am."
"Good, and now we can move forward and work toward this goal, together."
It pleased the Mirialan to see Mishel here, for when she first came across the young woman she was lost. Lost to the dark side but there was hope even then that she could be saved. Saved, a thing that most Jedi seem to forget is possible to save someone from the dark side. For where there is hope there is will, and where there is will there is a way. The two resumed their trek to Old Rave Merrill's place, they walked side by side. There was little talk between them and that suited Ammee just fine as there would be much to discuss, teach and learn once they reached the place. "Marrow & Illskins, we're getting close." Mishel mentioned as they passed the shop that Jorus had mentioned.
Ammee returned, "and now we look for a forest and a home tucked away just far enough for privacy. Where once there were saplings and now there are fully grown trees. You'll feel the energy change as we approach, feel that the light is strong here." A light in the dark, "tell me Mishel, what do you feel?"
"Hope," she replied without missing a beat. The brunette turned a moment to look at Ammee, "hope for a brighter future, hope that I can accomplish my goal." Hope that she could one day become a Jedi, a proper Jedi. Not the offbeat joke of a Jedi she felt she was becoming. Of course, Mishel had no one else to blame but herself and thus she was here taking her training into her own hands. "Hope that I am not wasting this second chance at life."
"And have you been wasting it?"
"I don't think I have?"
"I see we have much to do and much to learn, come along Mishel this way."
Ammee led them down a small path away from the main road of the once Ithorian dominated city. Behind the two were the trappings of the former Fringe world. The way the plant life worked its way around each building, and how they were integrated into the very fabric of Varunda IX's being. It was said that Old Rave Merrill's place held a piece of the tree, the tree that had once been at the very heart of the Jedi Temple. Or maybe just the cuttings, even so - there had been alchemy and genetic manipulation at play. The result of such play were the Ankarres Woods, trees imbued from light side - grew where pieces of Jal Shey fabric had been intentionally placed. "A light in the dark, the Ankarres Woods."
"Okay, where was this when Amit was around?" Mishel questioned with some surprise, "so I may have doubted that this place even existed..." She took a step into the woods and felt the light side's embrace. "I'm not sure which is better this place or that cave on Monastery."
"Both serve their purposes Mishel, but now we get to work." Ammee instructed Mishel to walk a little further into a small clearing near through the front walk. Where the well-worn hinges of the tool shed that now looked to be in need of repair rested. A mandala of rock-and-sand, and a garden lay within a few steps distance. Ammee directed the young woman toward the mandala. "Let us kneel for introspection, evaluate our minds and mental well being."
Mishel knelt down somewhere between the mandala and the woods with Ammee beside her. Knees on the ground and hands on top of her knees. She focused once more, relaxed her shoulders and breathed. Letting the Force guide her mind meant letting go of the control she had. As she knelt there, evaluating her mind and concentrating on her mental well being there began a glow. A light glow, it radiated with the light side as the two Jedi meditated. The doubt and uncertainty of the path she was on stuck out. The path of the Jedi required commitment, discipline and hard work. It required all of what made Mishel, Mishel and to become a Jedi would not be an overnight transformation. There was no short cut to this path, to take a short cut, to cheat your way through it would lead to the dark side. It was not a sudden change, no, it was a series of little changes compounding.
Those changes would result in what Mishel wanted to become, a Jedi Master.
Now she wondered if this is what the Force had in store for her, for as she focused on her introspection. Mishel suspected that there was much more for her to do in this life. She and Jedi Master Ammee continued their meditations. The Tygaran's mental well being was stable, the new routines in her life were for the better. Discovering that she did have family, was for the better but now she had to face something else.
Her own darkness.
Had it been instilled by Seiger, or was it something she already had? Maybe it was a combination of both, but it was not something she could control. No one could control the actions of others, just your own actions. Mishel had been born of the dark side and raised by it but she did not accept its fate. Rather, she rebelled, but the dark side was strong and tempting. It was much like an addiction for once you had a taste of its power, you wanted more. Turning away from it was hard, to stick to the path of light when having had the taste of such power? Harder, still. She needed to now realize that there was serenity to accept the things that she could not change and have that she could have courage. The courage to change what she could, and the wisdom to know the difference.