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Storm Phoenix

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Name: Storm Phoenix (Arashi Tsume)
Designation: [Sentient]
Homeworld: [Various]
Language: [Telepathy]
Average height of adults: [2 meters]
Skin color: [Skin not visible]
Hair color: [Midnight blue, pure black, White, Purple]
Breathes: [Radiation]
Strengths:

- Force sensitive
- Natural telepathy
- Natural ability to use alter environment
- Can survive without oxygen
- Huge lifespan
- Able to hide their force sensitivity
- Can absorb indirect blaster fire

Weaknesses:

- Telepathy can be easily countered by removing the ‘Antennae’ feathers of the tail leaving them unable to communicate at all
- Extremely rare/ low population spread out across various planets
- Fragile bodies
- ‘Suffocate’ after about 7 minutes without direct exposure to radiation (Like heat, a suns light. In other words moonlight wouldn’t be sufficient to sustain them, as it is not direct radiation though the radiation through clouds would still be direct radiation and would be sufficient to prevent suffocation.)
- Naïve and trusting to a fault
- Is extremely susceptible to slugthrowers and physical trauma of any kind.
- Using too much of its own force energy can cause it to suffocate

Distinctions:

-Two ‘Antennae’ Feathers on its tail
-Usually seen with electricity arcing off of its feathers
-Extremely long tail feathers

Average Lifespan: [Identical to the life of the star it was born under (Unless killed of course)]
Races: [No real racial distinctions]
Estimated Population: [1,000]
Diet: [able to consume almost anything and use it as food]
Communication: [telepathy]
Culture: Storm Phoenixes are very solitary creatures spread throughout the galaxy. These creatures reproduce asexually and die upon giving birth, generally lightyears away from the place of their own birth and as such most are completely alone. Occasionally one is able to give birth to two and in that case it is a moment of joy for the two who are siblings though they will separate from each other almost immediately upon being born. This solitary nature leads them to an almost obsessive need to find someone on the planet they spend the last part of their life on to ‘befriend’ by watching and helping if they can without actually revealing themselves to that person until that person dies.
Technology level: [Primitive/no technology at all]
General behavior: Storm Phoenixes spend most of their time dormant in space travelling to the planet where they die and give birth to their children. When they are on a planet they only enter the planets atmosphere during the day and usually hide in major storms which they control to ensure they remain invisible. They also hide themselves in the force whenever close to force sensitives.
History: Storm phoenixes were born with the galaxy in the very first star ever formed. From there the first Storm Phoenix began the very first journey through the galaxy to find a planet with a star and life on the planet to die and give birth to its child. Storm Phoenixes are exceptionally rare, with their population only rising every 300,000 years or so. The Phoenixes Physiology imitates the star it was born under and the Phoenix will burn out at approximately the same time as the star it was born under; however, a Phoenix cannot be born under the same star as its parent Phoenix so upon being born a Storm Phoenix eats whatever it can from the planet it was born on to store energy before entering a dormant state and using its tail feathers as a solar sail to move through space at a high impulse in a dormant state to conserve the food it stored over its time on its home planet sailing for thousands of years until it reaches a planet with life on it so that it can spend the last 100 or so years of its life span eating food on the planet in preparation for its death so that it is capable of giving birth. The Storm phoenixes began on the first star and spread through the galaxy seeing the birth and death of planets and stars as they moved through most of the known galaxy seeing population growth every 300,000 years as a Storm Phoenix experiences the rare event of a double birth. Now reaching a population of about 1000, they are known in the mythology of many ancient species who have seen the rare creature
Notable Player-Characters: [None]
Intent: I intend these creatures to be a unique species grounded in the star wars mythology which present a great opportunity for writers to use their tendency to befriend a member of a species on the planet they settle on as a character development tool. These would also serve an excellent creature as a subject for certain species who have grand hunts to attempt to capture or kill (think a trandoshan who might try and find and kill one to appease the scorekeeper if their points were zeroed or something such as that.)
 
[member="Jareth Johnathon Holst"]
Well, hello there! First of all, let me just say that I adore the concept you've come up with here. Very creative and it truly seems to fill a unique purpose here on SWRP.

That being said, I have several concerns will need to be addressed before we move forward to the approval process.



Jareth Johnathon Holst said:
Designation: [Sentient]
I am not sure I see anything that would necessitate sentience in this creature. While it is a nice thought, I would think perhaps semi-sentience would be more fitting for this sort of creature, bearing in mind that a creature does not need to be sentient to be intelligent and have a form of communication. This is merely a recommendation and you are not required to change it.



Jareth Johnathon Holst said:
Breathes: [Radiation]
Well, this is a toughy. I cannot think of any precedent that would support the breathing of radiation, so what I will need you to do here is to either provide me with a canon example or an approved species that also breathes radiation. From these I could gain a better understanding of what makes this sort of thing possible.



Jareth Johnathon Holst said:
Average Lifespan: [Identical to the life of the star it was born under (Unless killed of course)]
This is.. an INCREDIBLY long time. I have to think, if this species is frequently hunted for sport and only gives birth in the last few hundred years of its life that it could have easily been extinct by now.



Jareth Johnathon Holst said:
Storm Phoenixes are very solitary creatures spread throughout the galaxy.
Jareth Johnathon Holst said:
This solitary nature leads them to an almost obsessive need to find someone on the planet they spend the last part of their life on to ‘befriend’ by watching and helping if they can without actually revealing themselves to that person until that person dies.
I'm not sure I understand this. It reminds me vaguely of a sort of rare pokemon of some sort and that brings me a little discomfort. I am also troubled by the fact that this species would spend so much time on a planet (a person's entire life) and not die from suffocation for the need of radiation (aka. the sun goes down.)

In addition to these specifics, I really need this species' power to be toned down. I understand the rarity and intent, but in reality this species is just incredibly over powered in general. From force powers to control over planetary weather patterns to the ability to survive in the vacuum of space in addition to being able to survive within an atmosphere. There is just a LOT going on here.

I would say to be acceptable this species would need to breath regular air and live primarily on planets with livable atmospheres. I wouldn't rule out interplanetary travel completely, but you're going to have to provide me with precedent of species who can do this either in approved submissions or the canon (canon is preferable.) Furthermore, this species CANNOT have the same genetic make-up as a star and I caution to say that being as old as star is also out of the question for reasons stated above in addition to general believability.

In order to be acceptable, this submission will require significant edits on almost all levels to bring it into the realm of believability. Yet, please don't be discouraged as I am here to help you throughout this process and truly want to see this become a part of our universe. If you need anything feel free to ask either here or directly through PM.
 
[member="Jareth Johnathon Holst"]
If I might interject here, this sub is functionally identical to this: http://starwarsrp.net/topic/49853-washikaji-phoenix/#entry745744which was denied 6 months ago.

This is not how things work. If you have a denied sub it must go through the Second Chance thread. As it is you've just posted it again under a different account, deceptively hoping we don't notice.

As it is, this sub is even more overpowered than the previous one, amazingly.

This is denied, and you have lost your chance to second chance it.
 
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