Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Song of Solomon 1:2-4

Kaden and Yasha had taken some well earned time away from Mandalore. It had only recently come to his attention that he and his bride had not had a proper honeymoon. They didn't need one to make their marriage official. Ra's broken throne would forever be the place of its consummation and the place their daughter was conceived. For the benefit of all, it was best that detail remained private. Still, they needed the time away, and Aditya still owned a home on Sakura. They would rest and relax under the gorgeous sight of the cherry blossoms.

For too long their lives had been about war. Kaden could not recall a time when they had ever escaped for time to themselves. The idea of not having to look over their shoulders or sleep with one eye open was foreign to him. He was always be the one to protect his family, always keep a vigilant watch, though he promised Yasha to give her his full attention for their time away.

The shuttle landed next to the property where the staff had been notified of their arrival. The greeting was nothing grand, just enough to ensure the two lovers felt welcomed and knew they would be taken care of. Kaden was seen out of his armor for once wearing a simple tunic and pant set Baiko had made for him. It was armorweave so as not to be completely exposed. Kaden was still a Mandalorian after all, and he would not be without something. Over his shoulder was a bag which contained their armor if it was needed. They would not leave it behind, and Yasha, Mand'alor the Infernal, would not be seen without hers nearby.

He reached out and squeezed her hand as the walked off the ramp and into the cool spring breeze.

"You deserve this, Yashi'ka. All the rest in the world, and all the activity you could ever want. I fully intend on making this a proper honeymoon though it is many months too late."

Kaden smiled and brought Yasha's lips to his. They stood at the same height, and imposing couple, but very convenient to kiss. Kaden would never know the need to bend low to find the lips of his beloved. When the kiss broke, Kaden scooped the Epicant off her feet. His strong arms carried her as though she were a child. The Netherworld had made Kaden this way, and the wars they fought upon their return only strengthened him further.

There was little fanfare as he carried his wife into the house. The staff was dismissed and Kaden closed the door behind them.

[member="Yasha Mantis"]
 
Aditya’s cabin on Sakura was a simple affair of natural wood, glass and stone, built on stilted platforms. Two identical shapes bound together by a vaulted bridge kept the shape of the trees in the forest, powered and maintained by staff, who came from the Atrisian Fitz-Kierke Estate for the occasion. Each staff member remembered Yasha’s childhood, carefully informed of the heiress’ recent history and the circumstances of her Mandalorian marriage by Baiko. A tea house nearby, a former Emperor’s favourite, had been prepared by the staff for the tea ceremony and Atrisian rite, as a gift to the young couple. While the tea house was small, barely large enough for six, it was well situated a short walking distance from the Fitz-Kierke cabin.

By their honour, before the future heiress or heir was born, Kaden and Yasha would be wed with more than a few words in a foreign language with no witnesses! Their wedding would be recorded in the Atrisian Records! The line of succession continued faithfully for both Fitz-Kierke, and her progenitor house: no Kaho.

It was a matter of honour.

Yasha luxuriated in the pale blue dress she chose, stretching herself like a nexu every chance she got. Armour. Whoever said armour was pregnancy wear must have been male.

“Mmmmmmmmh! I’ve almost got that crick in my back out! Aaaahaha, finally.” Off Mandalore, Yasha’s face softened and smile deepened. She sighed more, caught up on a holonovel and sipped more tea. Kaden’s wife drew a gentility and calmness of being into her bones every parsec they flew away from Mandalore. When asked if she desired a meal, Yasha took to the food, where upon Mandalore she was too nauseous and busy to manage more than a few bites between work.

While they exited the shuttle, Yasha paused to smell the constantly sweet floral scent of the atmosphere. She grinned at arm’s length of her husband, hands clinging together. The sight of him in trousers and a tunic made Yasha’s nostrils flare and her pupils dilate. The act of being outside her armour was an act of sheer freedom Yasha had long been denied.

Even before she got pregnant, Yasha and Kaden lived in armour. While they survive the Netherworld, she lived in armour. Yasha’s entire life felt encased. Pulled like taffy into the hot and weighteous compartments of her beskar’kandar.

Kaden had the armour with him… Yasha had attempted to leave it behind.

“We both deserve this, Kade’ika. What’s a proper honeymoon? Hmm? You searched it on the holonet or playing it by ear?” Brought in and kissed, Yasha chuckled, hands placed on Kaden’s monumentally chiseled pectorals. Her swelling stomach pressed against his chest, larger now in the second trimester. It was fairly impossible to hide, especially in armour.

Yelping as Kaden picked her up, Yasha tossed her arms around his shoulders and laughed. Ducking her head into the crook of his neck, Yasha kissed the tender flesh she found there.

“Gosh, can you carry me for the next four months? Maybe five.” Over the threshold and into the cabin, all was serenely quiet. Everything was spotless, and gifts were laid out for the young couple. Clothing, foodstuffs, tea. A true welcome for the lost Fitz-Kierke Heiress.

“I’ll take a few months late, love.”

[member="Kaden Mantis"]
 
"You ask me this as if I have not already learned how to make you a very happy woman. Has it been that long since the last time that you have forgotten?"

Kaden laughed as the door behind them closed. Yes, a few months too late was better than nothing at all. Still, a few months ago Kaden would have had both eyes and both hands. As it was now Kaden wore a prosthetic arm, without synthflesh and patch nailed into his skull to cover the missing eye. The child that had gone into the netherworld and had returned physically unscathed now looked every part of the place he had escaped with his beloved Yasha. This was war. This was life. Kaden was supposed to be able to show might and mercy, but in Kaden there was no mercy, save for the affection Yasha received, and the love their child had even now.

The cabin was ready for them. Everything was in its place, but if Kaden had his way, which was the point of a honeymoon, the cabin would be disheveled in a matter of minutes. Kaden could not help but feel like a Nexu that toying with its prey. His smile was full of eager mischief as the thought of no servants near them, and the locked door behind them settled into his mind. He'd yet to put Yasha down, though managed to drop their armor at the door.

"I promise you will not have to wear it, but Mand'alor should not be found missing from her home while her armor remains. What would it say to our people?" Kaden would not let her forget the symbolism of her role as much as she would want to. They could not afford that. She had managed to do something none before her had accomplished. Yasha had survived a coup and made the people stronger. In Kaden's lifetime this was a first. She was no weak doormat, but Yasha demanded authority, and she had it.

As they neared the bedroom, Kaden knocked the door open. It was arranged simply. The cabin was meant to be a vacation house, not a permanent residence. It was still nicer than most of the homes on Mandalore, though Kaden loved the charm of the makeshift homes they occupied on the planet they worked so hard to rebuild. In front of them was the bed, covered in soft linens. They were Atrisian in design, but Kaden didn't care. The bed would only serve two purposes for them this trip, and sleeping was not the purpose Kaden had in mind as he lay Yasha on the bed.

He smirked, then kissed his bride.

"Since you have forgotten... I think the rest of the afternoon should be spent reminding you of how capable I am..."

Without another word, Kaden kissed Yasha deeply. They both needed this. Their riduurok needed this, and their child needed to feel their love even now. Their child would be brought into a happy home, even if her father's heart was coated in beskar. Kaden would ensure it was a happy home.

[member="Yasha Mantis"]
 
“Mmmmmmmmmm yes. Far too long!” Yasha pouted then laughed, running her nose along the skin of [member="Kaden Mantis"]’ neck and chin. In their game, it could have been hours and Yasha would make a pretence of forgetfulness. Soon she could even blame it on pregnancy brain!

Her riduur was not as pristine as he had been on their adventures in the dark. His wife wondered if Aditya found a way back to the living, would Kaden have lost his arm and eye? Would he have been wounded so, with Aditya in their ear smacking them upside the head to be as vigilant as a god? Yasha kissed a scar on his lower cheek, pulling herself up in his arms so he could drop the bag of armour.

“Most of our people don’t wear armour while their belly grows. My armour’s heavy, Kade… It’s starting to hurt.” While Yasha never complained in the bounds of their Empire, her expressions of late had darkened and soured. How much of that was due to the weight of her armour pressing down on her changing body? “You’re right, just… put it out of sight.”

The bedroom was a distant memory for Yasha. She remembered Aditya and Preliat swinging into the bedroom, and she remembered the treehouse they’d built for Yasha to play in. The tree remained, but the childish house was gone, and somehow it was that minor loss which brought Yasha back to the life she and her riduur had made.

Life continued, with them gone. The wood and construction materials had been demolished, removed, nothing remaining but the imprint in some sturdy branches. It was as her father [member="Preliat Mantis"] said. Power was useless and cyclical. All who searched for it would eventually fall.

The imprint on life’s search was all that remained. The idea of a life. Culture and memory would be all that remained. It gave her comfort. Laid on the bed, Yasha’s raven hair spilled around her on the soft linens. In a rare moment, Yasha’s hair was not plaited in a crown braid or such magnificent up do which could keep it flat to allow for her helm. Her hair was worn long and down. Silken, straight but for a few curls which refused to bend the knee and disappear.

She was naught but a young woman clinging to the shoulders of her husband, kissed deeply by his strong lips. Kaden was the only being in the universe who had the power to make Yasha weaken and tremble with delight. He was the only person who saw her wide-eyed, devoid of armour and gentle as a noblewoman ‘should be’.

Since the moment her mother refused to give her comfort after her ordeal in the Rue, Kaden had been the only one to give comfort. His beskar laden heart opened for none but her, but the child in her belly.

“It’s only right to remind me often and emphatically of how capable you are.” Yasha laughed as he descended, caught up in the love they shared.

Mantis_Header.png


“Aaaaannd now I remember.”

Yasha stretched and cuddled up in the blanets, snuggling into Kaden’s side. A fluttering sensation in her abdomen pulled her from rest. At first these little flutters and twitches meant nothing to the Mand’alor, just sensations she felt while pressed into her armour. Now that all stimuli were removed and the day continued serenely, Yasha grinned and started kissing Kaden’s collarbone.

“Kade’ika? I think the baby is moving.”
 
"Out of sight, yes... but you have it with you and it will only be seen if it must. Your belly wouldn't fit in it anyway."

Kaden grinned at the idea. What once made him uneasy, the idea of being father, grown on him to the point that he no longer feared the idea of it, but that was now a day he looked forward to. The thought of a young life in his care, his arms, or what he had left of them, gave him great joy. It was that joy which he felt as he locked the door to the room they found themselves in. As Yasha and Kaden renewed their love for each other under the peace and calm of the sanctuary they had found. It was something Kaden had long forgotten. Yasha was sure to have forgotten the peace they experienced now. It was something they both needed, and they drank deep of it.

"You had forgotten... I shall have to remind you more often then," he teased in return.

As they lay in bed the words of his wife startled him. Would he be able to feel? A soft smile wore on his face.

A layer of beskar fell from his heart.

Kaden rolled onto his side, and place his hand on the belly. His eyes looked deep into the woman whom he had conquered the Netherworld with. Kaden kissed her forehead and smiled at her.

"Tell me when she moves... I want to feel."

[member="Yasha Mantis"]
 
“Baiko thought of that one, Kade’ika. She installed Mama’s growth plates to the belly portion. Apparently Mama wore her beskar’gam all the way up till I was in her and Daddy’s arms… after she got it, that is… something about Daddy almost losing us on Vorzyd. The plates will keep shifting to accommodate my belly.” Yasha said glumly. Armour was comforting, a cocoon they lived inside, to avoid more harm. As the last few weeks foreshadowed, she knew the added weight of armour with her body’s natural process during the pregnancy would make the wearing of it all the harder.

Yet, [member="Kaden Mantis"]’ grin stole the gloom from Yasha’s face and shoulders. Many an hour brought the knowledge that he was more excited about their baby than she. All Yasha knew was trepidation, and the frustration of her body’s vulnerable shifts.

Vulnerability was the worst enemy of all.

“Yes, I shall certainly accept plenty of reminders.” Yasha leaned up to kiss his shoulder, finding the action a bit more difficult than it had been a week before. Pregnancy. Shia was right… mammals had it rough. Far better if babies were born from eggs!

She stroked the side of his cheek as Kaden’s smile tore the wounded flesh of her fears from her ribcage. He wanted her, which was further proven by their prior activities… but moreso he wanted their child. The sunlight bathed her face, pouring in through the vast window.
The light stung her eyes, and she shut them.​

Kaden wanted their daughter… it had to be a daughter. Yasha had no stomach for a son. For her husband, Yasha would learn excitement. For Kaden, Yasha would continue to try and be the mother this growing life needed, protective and sweet. Even though she wanted to forget what a mirror showed her, when she remained with her husband, it was indeed beautiful.

His kiss was the anchor she required to settle and listen to her body. Biting her lip, Yasha put one hand under her neck, and the other over Kaden’s hand. Waiting until the trembling movement started again, Yasha shut out all else. She mashed her lips together and concentrated, moving his hand to the place where a strong series of flutters rose close to her skin.

“… there. There, do you feel it? She’s moving… yes. Yes! She’s moving. Right….” Yasha moved his hand once more. “…. there.”

Maybe this was a safe place, where the young wife could be excited. Maybe this was the place, where their family changed for the better.
 
Kaden did not know they were having a daughter when the words came from his mouth. He was willing it. With Yasha's experience in the Rue, they could not have a son, not as their firstborn. Anicus had already looked like HIM, and if Yasha had a son, it would be too familiar. They needed a daughter as much as they needed this child to being them together. Yes, Kaden knew Yasha feared the birth of a son, but he spoke nothing of it. She was afraid of being a mother, and he a father, but Kaden refused to give mention to the fear. They had overcome so much to find their own happiness, and Kaden was going to keep his.

His head shook when Yasha asked if he had felt their child moving.

"It must be too soon," he remarked with a slight hint of disappointment. He knew Yasha would feel the child before he could, but like any expectant father, Kaden could not wait to hold the small life in his arms. "Though this is a good thing. The child lives. Tell me, is she strong?"

Kaden knew it was too soon to tell. However, he wanted to dream. Their daughter would be as strong as her mother, as beautiful, and hair as dark. She would learn the way of war and diplomacy. Everything Baiko and Aditya had meant for Yasha, their daughter would have. Kaden would see to it. Only know that he was about to be a father did he understand why Baiko and Aditya had been so hard. It was love which drove them to it, and it was love that drove Kaden to his decision. Their daughter would be every bit Atrisian as she would be Mando'ade. It was the way, a new way forward perhaps, but it was the only way to maintain their might and mercy.

"Now, my love, what shall we do for the rest of the day. We can be lazy... remain in this bed and see how many times we can be together before one of us gets too exhausted to continue, or we can get dressed and explore the grounds. Whatever you wish..."

[member="Yasha Mantis"]
 
Fear was an uncommon companion in Yasha’s body, slinking under her skin like a third layer to mind, and body. It tempered her actions and caused her to remove many of the mirrors from their suite in the palace for fear of seeing what happened to her belly, for fear of attaching her past to this kind, and cherishable present.

One lingering whisper continued to push Yasha’s mind toward the fear she refused to acknowledge:
“Could you love it, boy or girl? Could you love it as much as your son?”

Was Yasha capable of loving an existent child, when the myth she lost in the Rue tugged at her, called to her daily. Gray said it was a trick of the Rue, a cruel lie of the Dark Side of the Force, and that alone terrified the young wife. Was she fated to fall to the darkness Aditya tried to work her away from? Was she fated to fall?

Katlaydr was the joy of Mand’alor… Yet she caused the Cataclysm. Katlaydr was the ward of Mand’alor… yet?

Yet [member="Kaden Mantis"]’ hand felt along her belly, and the tickle of his skin brought Yasha back from her musings. She raked his hair back from his face, running her thumb along his cheek.

“You’ll feel her soon. I’m sure you will.” Yasha’s face softened and her shoulders lost their tension. Even damaged as his body was, Kaden opened for her and their child. No one else, not even Baiko got the tenderest places of Kaden’s inner emotional life.

“Strong? She’s stronger than…” Yasha sighed, shutting her eyes and flopping her forearm over them. “… I have to. Kaden, she’s stronger than he was. Much stronger. And brighter, and… when she moves it’s like this… you know when we kissed for the first time? And we felt that thrill in our stomachs? Having her in my belly is like that. It’s like living with that first kiss still lingering. It’s like living with your kisses perpetually on my skin.”

Hiding her face from the flushing pink of her blushing cheeks, Yasha peeked one eye open and stifled a chuckle. “I think if we make them wait any longer for the tea ceremony, our Atrisian hosts will die of stress. Why don’t we take a walk, and then come back in a bit… I’m dying to walk around, I want to see if this is still like I remember when we were kids.”
 
"No... push those thoughts away. That was a mirage. It happened, but it didn't happen. You cannot compare this... don't. You will have my son some day, but this... she must be a daughter."

Kaden understood, and he knew Yasha knew it. There was nothing hidden between them, not since the hell they had shared. She was the reason he made it through, and he was the reason she made it out alive. They both were what the other had. Gray had adopted Yasha, and Baiko had adopted Kaden as a mother, but Kaden and Yasha were all they had for each other. The others would never understand the personal hell that continued to find them in their dreams.

There was a smile which stretched across his lips. The first kiss. Kaden remembered it well. They had been caught on Ra's chair, and Ambrose had told Kaden he needed practice. How could he forget.

"We will not make the stress out any more than they already are. I am sure they have already protested the validity of our marriage to Baiko."

Kaden attempted his best Atrisian accent.

"They cannot simply say a few words and have sex. There must be ceremony. It is no way to be married..."

He tossed the covers aside and climbed out of the bed to retrieve his shorts. Kaden had no issue bearing himself in front of his wife, though the servants who would likely have watching eyes were another matter. They would dress and be on their way for the tea. Whatever needed to happen for the Atrisians to accept their stay, Kaden would do. They both needed this vacation and honeymoon.

[member="Yasha Mantis"]
 
“It happened, Kade’ika. I still feel it as if it was the most real thing in the universe.” Yasha cuddled in and hugged Kaden tight. It was and wasn’t real. They did and didn’t go through it… yet Yasha’s stomach still bore the scar. “But you’re right… I shouldn’t compare, even if all my instincts are telling me to. You… you want a son? You want to have more children after her?”

Could they fill their lives with Mandalore, and a family? It occurred to Yasha that the Mandalorian people needed this. They needed to see Mand’alor moving on with her life, as much as the planet and Empire itself. People moving on. Babies being born, families growing to increase the decimated population. It was time.

Time to grow, and love and live again. Kissing her husband’s cheek, Yasha picked herself up off the bed, and wrapped her arms around her growing belly.

“They’ve also been protesting the validity of our age, Kade. I’m twenty now, as far as we can tell. That makes me an Atrisian adult, capable of taking Mama’s vacant seat in the Noble Houses… this? It’s… it’s a big deal. If I don’t take my place, they don’t get to keep what they have either. They live on the estate, but it’s Mama’s money which kept them economically stable. Having the line of succession handled means security for them, as much as us.” Yasha pulled on a loose Atrisian-style dress and freshened up her face and hair. Once she was ready, she wrapped her arms around [member="Kaden Mantis"]’ waist from behind and kissed his shoulder and the back of his neck.

“I love you, Kade’ika… and your terrible Atrisian accent.” She laughed, shaking her head. “One cannot simply… be committed in marriage without ceremony! And pomp! Oh but the pomp!”

Yasha mimicked the Atrisian accent herself, taking Kaden’s arm as they walked out to the common room of the cabin. Two of the servants, an elderly woman named Hama, and a stout, broad shouldered middle aged man named Hibiki bowed upon Kaden and Yasha’s arrival in the room.

“Hama!” Yasha raced forward and threw her arms around the elderly woman’s neck. The elderly housekeeper pulled away and bowed.

“Lady Fitz-Kierke. Master Mantis. Shall we accompany you for a walk?”

“And tea.” Yasha smirked as Hama and Hibiki’s expressions softened with a beautiful excitement. So, it was to the Atrisian way. The spring morning bathed Yasha’s face with a tender warmth. A fragrance of cherry blossoms and lilies filled the air, mingling with the warm spring to coax the young wife into a balmy and delicious calm. Yasha’s usually severe face now bore a serenity consumed by affection and a peace of soul. She held Kaden’s arm, meandering through the woodland and brushing her fingers across the budding flowers bathing the trees. Soon the tea house came into view, two of its’ walls opened to the breeze.
A dainty-clothed lady sat at the low table, and bid them enter. “It is true, I see. The girl I once knew is now a woman, a wife… what mystery caused this? Was it truly the cause of a land of death, which you and Kaden defeated?”

“Lady Minato… yes, what you heard is true. We defeated the Netherworld and are now as you speak.”

“Only one of great love could take on the bastions of the Netherworld and bear such burdens for another. Your love for our little lady must be great… what burdens you so?”
 
Kaden tugged at the tunic he was to wear. The world and its traditions were so foreign to him, but the man bore through them. Baiko had taught the young Mantis a patience for things he was loathe to accept. His opinions had never changed, the boy had always been too stubborn for that. Kaden was simply more apt to keep his tongue under control than when he had first met Baiko. Yasha needed to move on, as did Kaden, yet she could not let it go. Every time she reminded him that the events of the Netherworld had happened, the mighty warrior cringed inside. He would always be as stoic as ever. Yasha would be the only one to see his smile, and when she could not elicit it, the man would wear the same grimace the universe knew only too well.

Years of revenge had consumed him only to be followed by years of protecting the ones he loved. As he looked in the mirror to see the toll his body had taken to accomplish all they had, Kaden sighed. His one good eye rested on the patch which was permanently nailed into place. It was what he had chosen instead of a prosthetic. Kaden determined it was his lot to look as hard and damaged outside as he had become on the inside.

Yasha's words of love, and her touch, were the only things that could console him. By the time they were walking among the blossoming trees, Kaden felt a little more at ease. The tea house was a structure Kaden was not familiar with. He didn't understand the concept, as Baiko had never introduced Kaden to this part of Atrisian society. Silas had wanted him to learn the ways of the Epicanthix nobility, so Kaden had been taught. This was new, and he was intrigued.

His demeanor was commented on. A slight chuckle escaped his lips.

"You see my pregnant wife before you... and you have to ask what burdens me? Clearly you have not heard the tales of her recklessness or fearless charges into the face of what is meant to kill her. Truly, the woman, as much as I lover her, has no sense of fear because she has made me shoulder it our entire lives."

Kaden nudged Yasha with a small grin only for her. He would ever and always be her guide and partner. Where she was, he would never be far behind.

[member="Yasha Mantis"]
 
Fixing the collar of [member="Kaiden Mantis"]’ tunic, Yasha leaned over and kissed him. There he was, the stalwart Mandalorian, who came into her life with murderous intent. They were children playing at war, yet growing into it with a ferocity based on survival.

It seemed all they did was survive. Years and years of it, and there her husband, her groom was, scarred inside and out by the horrors he helped her survive. The only way through the mire was shoulder to shoulder. Arm in arm.

“It is impossible to be afraid, when you are by my side, c’yare.” Yasha nudged Kaden back and walked into the tea house, sitting on her feet with Kaden’s help. One hand went to rest on her belly, as Lady Minato poured tea and pushed two small cups to Kaden and Yasha’s places.

“It is to you to shoulder even more, Lord Mantis… Baiko has writ your name in the book of nobles as her son. This makes the marriage between Fitz-Kierke and no Kaho even more poignant than you know. Your heir rights a wrong of which neither of you were old enough to experience. Drink your tea, and may your… proper marriage… begin. May you take your place as the Lady and Lord of a House of Royal blood. Fitz-Kierke… and no Kaho. The seat your mother took now returns to an heir of no Kaho’s blood. All is returned to its’ rightful way, and all shall be well.” Lady Minato poured more tea, as incense of a rich and complex aroma wafted through the air.

“Do not fear, Kaden Mantis. Should your fear become reality, Mandalore is not your family’s place of refuge. The anonymity of minor nobility in the Atrisian lands shall protect you, your wife and child. Drink your tea, and be complete.”
 
Kaden didn’t understand these Atrisians, nor did he understand why Baiko has written him in as the heir to her power. He hadn’t asked for it, and certainly a natural born son would have more right than he to whatever claim could be made. He shook his head Ashe was handed the tea. A proper marriage, that was the concern here.

He sipped the tea and set it down for [member="Yasha Mantis"] to pick up and drink. At least Baiko had taught him how to drink the tea properly. He smiled.

”These lands, as much a refuge as they can be will not be a refuge for us. Our people have none until the world is rebuilt, and we will not indulge in the comforts they cannot have. We are simply here for a honeymoon.”

Kaden stood without anymore words. He was not going to be told to be any more Atrisian when he was Mando’ad. It was the core of who he was and they should have known from Baiko about his stubborn pride. Yasha knew, and while he chanced upsetting her, he walked out. Yes, it was an offense to their culture, but he had finished the ceremony, there was no need to stay.
 
The wince gasping out of Yasha’s throat was louder than she’d expected in this quiet and private setting. Lady Minato took [member="Kaden Mantis"]’ outburst in solemn turn, watching him storm off as she poured more tea for Yasha and herself.

The moment Lady Minato didn’t refill Kaden’s cup was the moment Yasha burst into tears. Pregnant, hormonal and raw from the recent months and years, Yasha finally let the dam break. She sobbed without restraint, head folded onto Lady Minato’s lap. Tears stained silk, and Lady Minato and the Atrisans said nothing.

There was nothing to say, and everything to do to give Yasha the space and safety she required. It was given to Yasha to rule. Thus, it was given to the House of Fitz-Kierke no Kaho to support that rule. Today that meant supporting a sobbing young mother-to-be as she processed her husband's rejection of safety for her and their child.

The sun drifted across the sky and the daylight dimmed from the tea house, where Yasha laid, head cuddled on Lady Minato’s lap, folded over with blankets to keep her and the baby warm. She slept in fits, serenaded by the music she remembered when Aditya finally got her way and took Yasha back to Atrisia.

Back home.

Was this yet another layer of Hell, to be encased in the comforts of home and know emphatically they were ill deserved? Unsustainable? Mandalore, as [member="Gray Raxis"] reminded her constantly, was Yasha’s home now. The safety and anonymity of Atrisia was not meant for Yasha Mantis.

Perhaps Yasha Fitz-Kierke, but not Mantis. Lady Minato guided Yasha back to the cabin, where it was assumed that Kaden waited for his wife. Yasha walked into the door holding her belly, and waited in the silence.

“Kaden?”
 
Kaden went back to the hut. It was preposterous of the woman to think Yasha and Kaden could have refuge among the Atrisians when they were Mando. Mand’alor could not seek refuge among the noble houses of a people she did not lead. That would be cowardice, and she was no coward. Kaden would not ever believe his Yasha to be a coward of any kind. It was simply not the case at all.

He kept the lights low and the room quiet. When Yasha was ready she would come back for him. He was the guide, the spear’s shaft. She always went where he pointed. Kaden was her true north. That would never change. It was a small thing and a grand thing at once. Their entire lives had been for this, and now someone was trying to talk them out of it.

Baiko... she should have named a grandchild her heir. Kaden should have been left out of it. He was mad at her for meddling. He would tell her.

His name echoed through the empty home.

”I’m in the bedroom,” he answered watching the setting sun. His back was to the door, and he did not turn to look for Yasha. He knew she was there, he could hear her footsteps. His years and hell made sure he heard every threat, every step, and felt every breath before it could tickle the back of his neck.

”She was out of line... they shouldn’t meddle with things they don’t understand, and Baiko... she knows better...”

[member="Yasha Mantis"]
 
Kaden was waiting for her. For how long Yasha only wondered slightly. Did he indeed know her well enough to know the hour of her return?

Was she a mere clockwork girl in his hands, blinded to all else like his one bad eye?

The further into the cabin, the closer to [member="Kaden Mantis"]’ heart she became. A cold, unforgiving place, which could have been lit with many joys.

The cabin should have been filled with light, music, an expression of happiness. Instead, it was a tomb of desolation, nothing but dim shades and the silences which came from a predator waiting.

When had Yasha become Kaden’s prey?

‘He won’t even look at me.’ She wedged her fingers together, standing between the living area and the bedroom.

“How much of an idiot are you, Kaden?” Yasha folded her arms across the top of her belly, hugging her child and herself.

“We’re in Baiko’s House. The estate on Atrisia was Baiko’s. The title my mother got was Baiko’s. Baiko was the Noble, Kaden. She was stripped of it in punishment for losing her husband and kids. Baiko making you her heir means the Title and all the House Assets go back where they belong. It rights a wrong done by screwball politicians dishonouring a grieving widow. You didn’t give them a chance.”

Yasha huffed and crossed to a seat by the floor to ceiling transparisteel windows in the living area. She sat down, elbow on her thigh, finger tapping at her chin.

“Is protecting me and our baby so bad? Is a gaggle of well meaning people offering your wife and daughter a safe place some form of torture for you? The offer is tempting. I’m tired, Kaden. I haven’t slept properly in years, give or take our wedding night... and don’t sit on your high bes’uliik in there like some form of hero. A few rushed words after Gray left isn’t a marriage. Did you stop to think I was excited for this? That I wanted to feel Kad-dashed special? I guess not. You’re too busy encasing your pregnant wife in fifty pounds of armour, then disappearing when she has to negotiate with people who want to kill us all.”
 
"Aren't you going to come and join me for the sunset," he said still not turning around. He didn't think he had to considering that walking out of the ceremony had not been anything of her doing.

That was when Yasha laid into him. This was a side he had never seen of her before. Was this a.... fight? They never fought, ever. In all the time they had known each other one followed the other. Kaden charged into hell after her. He was her rock, but now... Kaden didn't know this Yasha. He did NOT like this Yasha. THIS Yasha was not understanding at all.

"What am I supposed to do when the woman asks me what weighs on me, then turns around in her next breath and tells me that my load is only about to get heavier. There is no solace, no comfort, no words of encouragement, just more duty, duty beyond what I already knew was mine."

Kaden had turned on his heels and let it out. Yasha was supposed to have understood this. She understood him. The boy who had fought every lesson Baiko had taught, every ounce of effort to make him an Atrisian noble, had grown into a man that lived through what few could claim, and it only made him more Mando'ad.

"And no matter how many times I told Baiko that I would never be Atrisian, she makes me one of their nobles! That woman called me Lord... I am no one's Lord. My duty is to Mand'yaim and to my Mand'alor, who also happens to be my wife and the mother of children." Kaden had not noticed in the heat of the moment he used the plural form, but certainly spoke to his heart's wish that they would have more. It was funny, that. They were fighting, but Kaden's commitment to her, and their child did not once waiver.

"This is not about protecting you and our daughter, and you know it. We dreamed of the day I would be your Warmaster, but now... with this... It just can never be. If you are to be Mand'alor, then it falls to me to be what your mother always wanted of you, to be Atrisian. You know me, cyar'ika. I cannot be both. Would you, like them, make me choose?"

Her comment about disappearing, Kaden ignored. He had never left her side unless forced to. His eyes were always on her. Even if he was not physically present, Kaden was with her.

[member="Yasha Mantis"]
 
“Wow, you’re not even going to look at me, are you? Kaden, you walked out of our ceremony. One I’d been looking forward to for weeks and all you’ve got is ‘aren’t you going to watch a star circle a planet’?” Yasha slapped her open palm on top of her thigh, watching the shadows of the cabin elongate and skew the wooden floor with their graven images.

For the first time with [member="Kaden Mantis"], Yasha didn’t know what to do. She sat between multiple paths to take, and saw the one he wanted of her was the subservient wife. The woman who followed after her man mutely, despite her own considerations and despite her own needs. He wanted a wife, who was only powerful within certain allowable hours, beyond which he could strip her armour and make her nothing but his. A vessel for multiple children.

Make Yasha nothing but a whisper behind him. An elongated shadow stretched out. As her heart tore in her chest, Yasha grabbed the fabric along her collarbone with a fist, attempting to staunch the panic and the horror that her Kaden…

… her ever present friend and bulwark…
… wasn’t everything she wanted.

Yasha gasped. Her eyes shut and she felt heat pour around her cheeks, up through her eyes and into her temples.

“I waited for you to come back for me for hours. Maybe you needed to clear your head, maybe you went for a walk, but… you are complaining about duty? You. Your only duty has been watching my backside get bigger with baby weight and to keep my head on my shoulders. [member="Gray Raxis"] feeds us with the money he gave me, but you’re right. You do have too much on your plate. Give me more of it.” She knew it was petty the moment the words descended from her lips, but there was no rewind or freezing time to remove them.

“The only reason Baiko called you by name was so she could come home as a Noble instead of a servant, Kaden. If you’d listened during our lessons, you’d know that. Sure, it could wait until Adara’s twenty, but by then? Are you going to look Baiko in the face and say ‘no, I don’t want you to have your house back. I want you to suffer in exile as half a slave, because I don’t like my name having ‘Lord’ in front of it'? Kaden…”

Kaden had always been a son of Mandalore. “You’re so lucky to have only one identity your whole life. You’ve never been confused on the culture, on the language or where you belong in the grand scheme. You are a Mandalorian, and that is all you will ever be. It’s the highest achievement you can have. I would love my life to be that simple.”

Yasha’s face grew even hotter as she pushed off the chair and walked clutching her belly to the bedroom where he sat, his back to her. The colours of the sun swam across him, scattering light off his prosthetic limb and the nails in his eye patch.

“Do you know how easy it would be for me to stay here for the rest of my life? I… ache…” Yasha’s nostrils flared, her lips wobbling as she ate at the words trying to escape her. “I ache to be in a safe place. To walk around with our daughter in my belly without armour, and guards and you viewing the galaxy constantly through the hate in your one good eye. I turned you into this, Kaden. I touched the shoulder of a grieving, angry boy and thought, ‘wow, a kid like me. He’s just like me’. But you weren’t. Whatever happiness there should have been in you was destroyed the moment you followed me through Sinner’s Rue… and I did that. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

Yasha hiccupped and pushed the back of her hand against her mouth. “I’m terrified, Kade. I can’t do this without you, but seeing what Mandalore does to you all I can think about is Daddy, and how [member="Preliat Mantis"] would rather live with Jetii than his own daughter and I know that someday you’re going to be my Preliat… hard. Broken… and just like Mama, I broke you. In my selfishness I want you to choose me. I want my Kaden… the one who could smile and laugh. The one that didn’t have his heart replaced with beskar, who can’t even look at his wife.

Look at me!!” The woman shrieked, heel stomped into the carpet. “Kaden! Do you even love me anymore? Do you want me? Or are you doing this because it’s your duty!?”
 
”Listen to yourself!” Kaden shouted. He had never raised his voice to her, ever and especially like this. ”Do you want to keep saying that moment in the throne room on Sundari didn’t make a marriage? Is the vow of oneness some how nothing more than rote words which mean nothing to you? Words are no more a marriage than drinking tea. If you didn’t mean those words then why do you keep them?”

Kaden went silent as she continued to barrage him with her thoughts. First it was his fault, then it was hers, and now when she looked at him all she saw was a broken man, the second in her life. She feared he would leave her like Preliat did. Kaden didn’t have the wind in him to fight after that.

She was wrong. She was so VERY wrong.

He sighed. Hands rested on her shoulders. They had always been the same height, and even now they were, thanks to the fact she was not a full Epicant. What was he supposed to say now?

”You need to choose your path then. I will follow you to the worst hell and bring back every time. We are one when we are together. We are one when parted. We share all. We shall raise warriors. I know you meant those words. You’ve taken the mantle of sole ruler, you are Mando’ad. If I cannot be both... you certainly cannot.”

You don’t smile either anymore... you know. Not til today. I won’t think any less of you if you chose this life, if you want to say to hell with it all. If anyone has the right to leave the Mando’ade to their own ways it is us. But are we truly dar’manda? Are we made of weakness? Did the Netherworld break you so much that I became what I am in vain? That in shouldering the suffering for us both I sacrificed in vain? You did not do this to me... I did. I followed you because even then I loved you, just didn’t know to tell you.”


Another sigh left his lips as he pulled the woman into the strong arms she helped forge.

”You were in my heart long before the beskar closed it in. I may be broken and hard, but unlike your father, there is one duty I will never abandon. I promised before we ever exchanged vows that I would always be yours. Now... wipe your tears. Show me the Yasha I have always known. The one who has always said, I carry the fear for us both.”

He kissed her forehead.

”Now, no more talk of Mandalore or Atrisia. We came here to be Yasha and Kaden. Tell the servants they shall need their ear plugs, because I am of the opinion they should be subjected to the same symphony the palace guard are more than familiar with by now...”

[member="Yasha Mantis"]
 
“I didn’t know what they meant!!” Yasha bellowed, both arms flung out past her sides. “I had to look them up! To see if there was something more I was missing or if that was it! I did it because you’d been there and looked at me with this expectation and... and because I loved you.”

The young woman beat her chest with her fists, eyes slanted in a harsh anger. “Nobody else could understand this pain. How we grew up with skeletons for parents, suffered by a broken...”

[member="Kaden Mantis"]’ hands on her shoulders were shrugged off, then one hand tossed to her belly. “I don’t want this baby. I can’t look at my stomach without regret at our lousy timing. There’s this fear I won’t attach. I’ll look at her and... feel empty. Feel nothing. You’re so excited and... It’s just foreboding in my gut. Bringing a baby into this galaxy, what are we thinking? What if it’s like him? What if all I can think of when she gets here is walking away? What if I’m so screwed up I can’t love her like she deserves? What if all I am is Mand’alor the Infernal and I’m incapable of being the mother Adara needs? I know more about killing than comforting a crying child and... I... am... terrified.”

A way out. Finally Kaden was listening. He quieted and reached, calling to the part of Yasha that was always sure of her Kaden. His yell sunk into her, this her Kaden. She was not trapped after all, in the life of her husband’s design. He allowed space, let her lead where she wanted their lives to go. She wasn’t a prisoner, but a bride.

She understood what he meant by asking why she followed their vows. She understood the context, the way out. Breaking a riduurok… her eyes went wide. This was it. Her out.

“Mama struggled to bring me to Atrisia for years. To her dying breath... used to wonder why, until I snuck out of bed one night. ‘She’s too much like you, Eli. Our daughter’s your little wolf. You’re right. Yash is a killer like you. She’ll always be your daughter.’ Mama packed up next day, was heading off again. Without me. I was going to stay with Daddy, after all I was eight. About time my father took charge of my education. No. I won’t smile again until I get this guilt off my soul. The guilt of fearing for Adara, of abandoning her like my parents. ‘Cause I don’t know anything but battle, and the lessons on ruling a bunch of war-hungry armour-clad family loving Mando’ade. I want to be a mother and I’m scared.” Hugging herself, Yasha remembered the last days of [member="Aditya Mantis"]. She clung to the memories, hoping to bring her back again, tug her through the Gate and let her find the coalescence her daughter found in the Mando’ade.

“You mean Dar’manda like Mama, don’t you?” Yasha pushed against Kaden’s chest, releasing herself from his embrace. His arms somehow felt like a cage.

“Mama's never going to be one with Manda.” Kaden kissed her forehead, brought her back into his arms. Yasha shut her eyes as tears flooded down her cheeks. “Cyar’ika kar’taylir gar darasuum… we will be be one with Manda, when we die… I can’t do this without you, c’yare. I need you beside me, not as my Warmaster, but my husband… as Adara’s father.”
 

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