So... About That...

[Damon Riggs]

They needed to talk.

Riggs was avoiding it like usual, but he really couldn’t. The last job he’d taken landed them square into the lap of Baros Sal-Soren, and, based on the interaction, it was clear Teyla still had feelings for him, or some kind. The closure she had wanted didn’t happen, and that had been partly Riggs fault. Marcus Jenkins, his best friend, had been found. The news was too exciting for him to not blurt it out and interrupt. The fact remained clear though, the relationship he had with Teyla faced its biggest challenge yet, and just because she was carrying his child that didn’t make Riggs confident. He should have been, but Baros had been her first real love.

She needed decaf, so Riggs had made a pot, and as much as it was killing him, he gave up cafine with her too.

He found her sitting in the lounge with her feet propped up, she was going to be doing more of that over the next few weeks, or so he had read. This was a first for him, and he was nervous about being a father, and he was overcompensating for it with his overprotective nature. Yes, he knew it, but felt justified where Baros had been concerned. After all from where Riggs had been standing the man had looked like he was gonna try and make a move on Teyla. That just wasn’t right.

Riggs sat the cups on the table, then slid next to her. He picked her feet up and put them in his lap. Bribing her with decaf and a foot massage was cheap, but there it was, his peace offering.

A short sigh eacaoed his lips, followed by a much longer one as he built up the courage to say what he needed to. It was a dangerous topic considering her hormones, but it had be brought up.

“So about that thing with Baros... I was an ass, and I’m sorry. However... I think we need to talk because it made some things pretty clear to me...”

Riggs gave the woman a sheepish grin as he usually did when he was nervous and knew half the reason they needed to talk was him. He really hated these talks, but everytime they had one it brought them closer. That was part of the reason she was preganant now. If Riggs hadn’t stepped in it so much they may never have gotten to their feelings. They had to go there again, because while they had never talked about the future, Baros sudden appearance made that necessary. Riggs wasn’t going to let Teyla go for nothing, and she needed to hear it.

“You aren’t as over him as you thought you were, and uhhh... that’s got me thinking a lot more about us... our situation... the future.”

@Teyla Ee’everwest

 

[Amz]

Damon had been quiet since Naboo. Days after the fact, and he hadn’t approached the subject at all.

Teyla glanced out the window at the passing stars, she hadn’t said anything about it either. A whole lot of silence had passed between them since then.

Hearing the door open, Teyla looked from her star gazing to see Damon enter the quarters they shared, toting a couple cups in hand.

Teyla watched with some skepticism as he approached and set them down on the table, taking her propped sore feet into his lap.

Her stern expression weakened some due to the relief of his ministrations.

"Thank you," she gave him a surprisingly warm smile and leaned to the side to take one of the mugs, bringing it to her lips.

Quietly she listened to what he was saying, watched his nervous expression, and took the moment to consider her own response. Teyla didn’t want to talk about any of this, but there was that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach again, and some silence followed. She’d been traveling with Damon for almost a year now, and the attachment she felt for him was something she thought to be substantial, it still was, but for a brief moment, that feeling had faded into a fog when meeting Baros again.

When he mentioned that she had feelings for him still, Teyla wanted to outright deny it, to tell him he was wrong, but the pounding in her chest told her otherwise. It wasn’t fair to Damon, but the complex emotional entanglement wasn’t something she was expecting, either.

“I’m glad you realized that on your own, but that apology might be better served to Baros instead.” she retorted, in response to the admittance of his previous behavior. It was harsh and she knew it, letting her shoulders slump as a sigh fell from her lips. “It’s not like that, I was...” she put her hand over her eyes then rubbed the side of her temple. “I was shocked to see him after so long, that’s all…but I left that life behind a long time ago.”

[member="Damon Riggs"]

 

[Damon Riggs]

"No, I will not be apologizing to him. You might not like it, but when the man you loved and the man you love cross paths, what you saw is typical for my gender. I'm apologizing to you, because I could have made that less awkward... buuut..."

Riggs let out a long sigh from his nostrils. A hand reached for his caf and he took a drink from it. There was no easy way of saying what he was about to, nor was the conversation they needed to have going to be pleasant. Things had been allowed to get "out of order" so to speak, and the one thing that Riggs had never wanted in their relationship was to seem like he wasn't committed to them. Yes, they were together, and yes, there was going to be a baby between them. Riggs knew they would love that baby and raise the child as partners, but that just didn't sit right in his mind. The word partners... it was the wrong word for what they shared. That made everything sound like a business, and this relationship was much more than a business.

"I know you weren't expecting to see him, and I already told you, had I realized who the job was for, I likely wouldn't have taken it. That wasn't fair to you at all, and I should have been out in front of it a lot better than I was. This baby... this baby changes things, and I won't pretend that isn't the case."

He was still massaging her feet, and he would be until she pulled them away. Riggs new he had to be the first to bring it up because it would be one thing that would mark him as different than other men in her life. He also had to be the first because it was what he really wanted, and there was no way RIggs wanted Teyla to think that this was her idea planted in his head.

"Like I said... it all has me thinking about the future, and I am not satisfied with just being partners anymore. I never expected to fall in love with you when I brought you on as my pilot, but I did. The baby is proof of that, and I should have said this a long time ago, but I want to marry you, Teyla."

Riggs shut up after that. Whether his timing was great or not... he said it. It was out there. Now it was her turn to say whatever she was going to say.

[member="Teyla Ee'everwest"]

 

[Amz]

"No, I will not be apologizing to him. You might not like it, but when the man you loved and the man you love cross paths, what you saw is typical for my gender.I'm apologizing to you, because I could have made that less awkward... buuut...I know you weren't expecting to see him, and I already told you, had I realized who the job was for, I likely wouldn't have taken it. That wasn't fair to you at all, and I should have been out in front of it a lot better than I was. This baby... this baby changes things, and I won't pretend that isn't the case."

“Unbelievable! ‘Typical of my gender?’ That’s what you’re going with?” Teyla repeated, gawking at Damon. “I know that you didn’t know, and I’ve already forgiven that. But I find the posturing battle ridiculous. I’m with you. Did you really feel so threatened by him that you needed to engage? By the idea that I had feelings for someone else? What does it matter? I chose you. I left with you.”

She shook her head, placing a hand against her stomach instinctively. “Of course a lot is going to change…” she wasn’t understanding yet…

"Like I said... it all has me thinking about the future, and I am not satisfied with just being partners anymore. I never expected to fall in love with you when I brought you on as my pilot, but I did. The baby is proof of that, and I should have said this a long time ago, but I want to marry you, Teyla."

“W-what?”

That wasn’t meant to come out like that, but, her mouth was trying to catch up with her racing thoughts.

“That’s a lot to take in at once…”

Did Damon just admit he loved her, and tell her that he wanted to marry her in the same breath? Did she hear him correctly?

Her heart fluttered happily inside her chest, but uncertainty was there along with it. She closed her eyes a brief second, trying to stave off the dizziness, breathing out slowly. Feet were pulled away, pushing out from the chair to walk the room.

There was a great deal of consideration and thought that she wanted to put into this and she was quiet...wondering how long she could legitimately take before answering.

His timing was impeccable, as always.

“You want the paper type of commitment? Now?” The subject had never been brought up. She knew a lot was going to change, much already had. But she certainly wasn’t expecting a ring because of being pregnant. “We...we’re not ready for that...” she shook her head.

“I’m not ready for that.”

[member="Damon Riggs"]

 

[Damon Riggs]

Damon just nodded. He knew all of that. Did he still feel threatened, yes, because of the way she had talked about Baros. The man was her Russo, and they’d already deal with the fact he had gotten drunk and slipped up with Teyla. The night he’d called her Russo was not one he wanted to remember, but he did. Rather than get defensive, Teyla had been mad. She didn’t want to seem like some replacement for the woman Riggs had first loved, and Riggs didn’t want Baros threatening what Riggs had become dependent on.

Whether they like it or not, their relationship had become the air they needed to breathe. Riggs could no longer imagine a galaxy where they were not together. He wasn’t the one to be overly romantic, and his impeccable timing was always the best example of that. This wasn’t about romance though, this was about what already was, and it certainly wasn’t because of a baby. If it had been she’d already have a ring on her finger by now.

Teyla’s reaction was priceless. It had been typical Damon and typical Teyla. This was them, and it made him smile.

“I didn’t mean like today we have to do it,” Riggs said with a chuckle. The irony of the fact he had to back peddle even with this amused him. Riggs was always blurting things out with her, and always having to help her along into what was already the reality between them.

He pushed himself up from the table. She pacing furiously trying to put her thoughts together. As she walked into his frame, Riggs reached his hands out and rest them on her shoulders. For a moment he just stood there, waiting for her pristine gaze to find his. When he knew that she was truly looking at him, Riggs leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on her lips.

“I didn’t want you being the one who brought it up,” Riggs said as he broke away from the kiss. “I don’t know if we are ready or not. You did leave with me. We are having a baby together, and you have fun off into hiding. Walking away from Baros like that, I know you love me Teyla, and I never questioned it. I just want you to know where my head is at, but mostly my heart. You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it, can you? I’m not asking if you’re ready, but is it at least something you want? I’m not going anywhere regardless of what you say. I hope you know that.”

[member="Teyla Ee'everwest"]

 

[Amz]

Not paying attention, she managed to collide into Damon’s chest. Teyla was usually more aware than that, but she was so flustered and consumed by her thoughts that she must not have been paying enough attention. Golden eyes traveled up to meet his, and the warmth of his lips cover her own, melting away her anxiety.

Damon was the man who had picked up her shattered existence and given her hope again, the man who had pulled her out of the fear she’d been living in after Ferian, and given her back some purpose. Without him, she would have gone back to hiding on Kinooine with her tail between her legs, lost.

The gentle way he kissed her, reminded her of their connection and the strength he gave her. Where would she be without him?

Still, as the kiss broke, Teyla felt the dreams of another life pull at her.

She’d spent a good chunk of her early twenties in love with Baros, and seeing him again reminded her that those deep feelings were still there. Maybe they always would be, but...

It was time to let go, to let it all fade away and move on with someone she could hold to, the constant in her life who she could depend on.

The soft tendrils of what she’d come to accept as the Force, swirled around them. It felt like...peace, calm. She breathed in deeply, wishing she had better insight to know what it meant, if anything.

His words slid over her like a wave of warm water, buoying her spirits. Teyla’s features softened.

“How do you have such faith in me? Such staunch devotion? No matter what I say? ...Would you stand beside me? Even if it’s not what you want to hear?”

She grabbed the scruffy chin of the rogue in front of her, and pulled him in for another kiss, to be sure of the commitment she was considering.

This. This was tangible.

“I can’t see into the future, but I know who I want by my side in it, when the time is right.” she reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together.

“And I know you know this already, but I want you to hear it,” Teyla whispered softly, “I love you.”

[member="Damon Riggs"]

 

[Damon Riggs]

Teyla was clearly distracted by what he had said. Her rambling had lead to her not payng attention to her pacing, and when she collided with Riggs, he let out a small chuckle. He had to admit she wasn’t often flustered like this, but it was pretty damn cute. Riggs tucked it away for future use knowing that it wasn’t a smart idea to make a pregnant woman flustered too often. He grinned when she finally looked at him.

There was nothing she was going to say that would have him packing his bags and walking out the door. First of all it was his ship, but secondly, she had stuck with him when he was learning what life without Russo really was. In fact it’s why they were together now. Had she not, Riggs knew they would have never discovered the deep love that they shared.

Still, she asked how. A hand went to the protruding bump around Teyla’s belly. He just let it rest on their child before his eyes locked onto hers with a very loving gaze.

“Do you really have to ask that Teyla,” Riggs said as he kissed her forehead. “We are a family now. Whether you want to make it official yet, or never, I’m your partner in life and in raising this baby. Besides, you were there when I needed someone constant. You’ve been there in the search for Jenkins, and you’ve never once threatened to leave me in the middle of it all, except for when I was an ass.

When she whispered her sentiment, Riggs kissed her. He couldn’t help but respond that way. They hadn’t really said it to each other, not in a moment like this. There was something raw and real about it, and the fact that it took running into Baros to bring them to this point was unfortunate, but very welcome. She knew he had been ready to marry Russo, so it shouldn’t have surprised her that his mind was there with her. Riggs wasn’t going to press it with Teyla though. She knew, and that was all he intended.

“Look, I don’t doubt you at all. I was jerk, but the way Baros looked at you. I just don’t trust him... why did you agree to the job?

[member="Teyla Ee'everwest"]

 

[Amz]

"Family has a different meaning on Naboo, it’s not the same as what you know. Marriage is another duty. Children, are our duty. Love is last to those, and not very often a desire of choice. My birth Mother left me because of her obligations. The parents who raised me…”

She quieted, sighed.

“Commitment always came before anything else, that’s why they saw it fit to send me away to the Order. And there's a part that's ingrained in me, that I should marry you because that's what's expected." she placed a hand over the one that rested against her growing middle. "My whole life was abandonment with a, ‘for the greater cause’ sticker, slapped onto it. That’s why I hesitate. That’s why I ask. I was raised for a life of service. Wanting something that is mine? Something for myself? I’m not used to that.”

Teyla’s eyes widened, realizing why, perhaps for the first time, she was having these feelings.

She’d only come with Damon because she could once again serve others, even if it was done in the shadows. Now they were beginning to build this life, and they were suddenly going to have a baby together. Never in a million years did she think she would have any of this, especially after Baros, and everything that followed with Ferian.

“The reason I joined you in the first place, was because I knew it would be helping other people. I never had any other intention besides that. But... through all of our journeys and the adventures, we’re now in this place that I’ve never been in before...and to be honest, it scares me. But I’m scared even more of losing that, or ruining what we already have.”

Her eyes closed and her heart swelled when he kissed her, her mind a whirl of thoughts and memories that had brought them to this point. Being pregnant and hormonal, the moment had a few tears slipping down her cheeks that she quickly flicked away with the pads of her fingertips.

Naturally, when the kiss broke, her mind was in a completely different place than the place Damon went in the next breath. With a huff of her own, she crossed the floor to take a seat, placing her hand on her stomach.

“Why? There are a lot of reasons. Firstly, because you were going to turn down the money we needed, for your own petty jealousy and I was irritated with you. But, also because...my inclination to serve and protect kicked into gear, and the fact I had feelings for him...I wanted to know what he was getting himself into. And, yes...I needed to work out my own emotions and how I was feeling about all of it.”

[member="Damon Riggs"]

 

[Damon Riggs]

It had not been fair of Riggs to bounce around from subject to subject, but as far as he was concerned there was not going to be any changing of minds right now. Bedsides, it wasn’t that Teyla didn’t want to get married. He understood it all too well. Until he had become a smuggler, Riggs had always served others. Had it not been for Jenkins he would have let Russo walk on by without an attempt at love. His career had always come first, and now, Riggs wasn’t that man anymore. He can first, Teyla cake first, and everything else was just what happened around them.

He deserved the scolding explanation he got from Teyla about why she took the job, though she didn’t have to stick it to him. Riggs had been ornery, and she had been right back. Teyla should have just let it slide though, because now they had to take the work. It was a job that Riggs was still, hesitant about.

“So you agreed to the job for the same bad reasons I was going to reject it...”

Riggs laughed. He found it funny and was already moving on from the irritation and frustration that had come from it.

“Look I know I shouldn’t have handled things like that, but step in my shoes for a moment. What if that had been Russo and you caught me looking at her the way you were looking at him. It’s one thing for that instinct of yours to serve and protect to kick in, but that’s not entirely what it looked like. I’m not mad about it, and I trust you as much as I love you and the baby growing inside you. I don’t think working for him is wise though, because if he gets in over his head then we will get dragged into that.”

”I don’t want anything to happen to you, or the baby, and seriously I’m not asking you to marry because of what happened. It’s how I feel. I don’t want anyone else with me, and just knowing you want the same thing, even if you’re scared, nervous, and maybe not even ready to make that commttment, it’s more than enough right now. There isn’t even a ring yet, but... I guess more than anything I just want to know that you want this, us, our family. I’m scared too... but I’d rather be scared with you then be fine without you. Bottom line is I’ve come to need you in my life Teyla. Like it or not you’re my other half, and I can’t let that go.

[member="Teyla Ee'everwest"]

 

[Amz]

Teyla quietly listened, mulling over his words as she lifted the caf that was neigh-on lukewarm to her lips. She sipped it silently, the muted flavor rolling over her tongue. Decaf was decidedly not her favorite, but she’d take it over nothing at all.

There was a lot that Damon said, and she didn’t say anything right away, not until she lowered her cup and set it back down on the table beside her.

“Look, I understand that what happened back on Naboo made you feel reserved and cautious, and I’m sorry. I-I never wanted to cause you to fret...or doubt...and you want me to say it? To be completely honest?” Dark golden eyes cast themselves away from his deep blue ones. What she’d told him at the beginning of this conversation, as having been a misunderstanding, hadn’t been the truth at all. Maybe she should have just been honest about it from the beginning, but then, she’d been trying to spare his feelings. Or was she only trying to spare hers? No...she recalled that her intentions were in the right place, especially when she felt she’d already made her decision and come to her own conclusions about things. But it didn’t seem like he was going to let the subject drop.

“Then yes, you’re right. I do have some...tenderness there, after...everything. I don’t know if that makes this better, or worse, but there is the truth of the matter. But what is also the truth, and I don’t know how many more times I can say this to you without going nuts over it, but the only person I want to be with? That’s you. The past? That’s not going to come between what we have now. And I’m not so fragile that you have to worry about us all the time, I love that you want to protect the baby and myself. I know that’s your nature. And yeah, I’m not going to say that there isn’t any risk involved, there is. But there’s also a good reward at the end of it, money we need. We get good work with the CIS, but it’s still not enough to…”

She hugged her arm around her stomach protectively, looking up at him.

“...I don’t want to raise this child on a ship, this isn’t a home Damon. Not that I don’t love what we do, but what kind of a childhood are we offering our baby? One where we teach them to always look over their shoulder? I know we’ll both love him or her, but they need more than love. They need stability, too, safety. We still don’t know when or where the Barabel will show up again, and the last time he did, I ended up in a sling! And with what we’re getting from Baros? It’s not enough to buy a home…, but it’s a really good start in that direction.”

[member="Damon Riggs"]

 

[Damon Riggs]

"I don't doubt you, but we did go through this when I drunkenly called you Russo. I just... We have both had people in our lives that we have loved to the point that we dreamed of a life with them. To have that taken away is hard and never in a million years would I expect that some form of emotion isn't left behind."

Riggs breathed in slowly and let it out rather calmly. He reached for her chin, and brushed a small peck on Teyla's lips. Nothing she could say right now was going to change his mind on what he was thinking or what he had offered her. One thing Damon knew for sure was that he wasn't going anywhere. Sure, he had been ready to marry Russo, and that was why he was even more ready to settle down with Teyla. Riggs knew this was the real thing, and he was not going to miss it again.

"A house then," Riggs said. "I've never owned one actually. My parents had their place on Coruscant, but once I joined the Navy, and then since, well, I've always lived on a ship. I guess I have never thought about that side of it at all."

He honestly had not. Riggs new ships for the better part of the last 15 years of his life. He never once gave thought to raising the baby on the ship because to him it was home, and the moment Teyla had said otherwise it hadn't clicked. She was not just scared about this change. Teyla was afraid of raising a family on the ship where they had many close calls. It was not a business for the faint of heart or those looking for a long life expectancy. This was no place for a family. It was really no business for a family, but here they were starting one anyway.

I'll talk with the CIS. There might be some good work coming. I'll bust my ass off and make sure we can save as much as possible to get us that home. The only real question is where do you want live?"

[member="Teyla Ee'everwest"]

 

[Amz]

She was quiet, stoic. Lips pursed into an unyielding line, endeavoring to keep her emotions hidden beneath a well-constructed mask. For some reason, the words of compassion that he honeyed her ear with, vexed her. She readied herself to administer a good verbal lashing. But before the retort could roll off her tongue, she faltered. Pregnancy hormones were such a fickle thing...but, her shoulders drooped down, caving in the moment their lips touched, soft and fleeting. The small gesture was enough to unravel her. Teyla sighed and cleared her throat softly. “You’re being very understanding about all of this.” she said, a skeptical brow lofted.

She’d been frightened about telling him the truth, of being honest. Every time they tried to take a step forward, it always seemed like they took two more steps back. With everything they’d been through, and how far they’d come...she didn’t want to lose that. Knowing that was not going to be the case, relaxed her a bit.

When Damon admitted that he’d never thought about getting a house, Teyla was slightly amused. What a pair they were. “Where did you expect the crib to go? Next to Roccos hammock?” she asked, a bit of humor lurking in her eyes. In truth, it wasn’t something she’d been putting much thought to until recently. With each passing day, she edged closer to having to going planetside, why not go someplace where they could put down roots?

“Where?” she repeated, wondering about that herself. “I don’t know.” Naboo was home, the place she longed for, but she knew the risk to move there was too great. It was the most predictable place to find her, and she wouldn’t lead Ferian to her family. Let alone their own child. No...they couldn’t go there. Wherever they went, it had to be somewhere remote and unknown. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead yet.”

[member="Damon Riggs"]

 

[Damon Riggs]

"Because what choice do I have, Teyla. I love you, and I really do want to be with you for the rest of my life. That means I have to understand, or try to, and you haven't said anything that is not unreasonable. I get it, we didn't plan this baby, but we are going to have one, and we are going to be a family. I am okay with that while we are working on these other things you want. I know that you're with me, and that you love me, and that there is no one else you want, and I'm the same about you. So why shouldn't I be understanding? I'm certainly not the same man you met when I hired you, and that is because of you..."

Now the the truth was out there, Riggs breathed a sigh of relief. It actually allowed him to laugh when she commented about the crib going next to Rocco's hammock.

"At least we would get sleep?"

Riggs shrugged and put a kiss on Teyla's forehead. All he knew was that nothing would change how he felt about her, and this little thing or whatever it was they had, wasn't going to either. The only obstacle right now was the where. Naboo, not an option it was too close to Teyla's past. They worked for the Confederacy so it had to be somewhere inside their territory to remain safe. Damon had no idea really either.

"Well we can cross the bridge when we get there then... in the meantime I am going to get on the horn and see about more work. Also we can knock out this job for Baros. After that though, check with me before we work for him again. I don't trust him, and not because he's your ex."

[member="Teyla Ee'everwest"]

 

[Amz]

"I thought you'd be more upset, that's all." she admitted with a slight smile.

Knowing there was nothing they couldn't share with each other, brought a modicum of peace to her inner turmoil. They were going to keep working at this, no matter what came at them, and not only because they were going to have a child together. The idea of it all was comforting, and at the same time, a little bit unsettling. "I know things between us have always been a little complicated, but I'm glad we talked about all of this. Even though, admittedly, I didn't want to. You push me to be better too, you know. And for as terrified as I am some days about starting a family, I'm happy it's going to be with you."

His laugh, and that she was able to bring a little bit of levity to the conversation, made her lips curve into a smile. Teyla twined her fingers with his and nodded.

Usually, she was one with the bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, but that feeling wasn't always prevalent. Besides, she trusted Damon's judgment. He'd never given her a reason not to. "Okay." she agreed, "Future jobs with Baros are off the table, and while you keep an ear to the ground for work from the CIS, I'll keep a keen eye out for our eventual home. Working towards our goal together, for us...for our family."

She brushed her fingers across his cheek and down his stubbled chin, fingers falling to the buttons of his shirt. "Speaking of sleep," Teyla smiled, standing to her feet and dragging him with her towards their bed. "We're already into the next sleep cycle...and we should get what we still can, while we can."

[member="Damon Riggs"]