Approved Tech Sith-Imperial Legionnaire Mk. III 901 Rebuild

[Megan Holliway]

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

• Intent: Personal Armor of Megan Holliway
• Image Source: Original Image by Hot Toys, Art by Jsc
• Canon Link: n/a
• Permissions: n/a
• Primary Source: Sith-Imperial Legionnaire Combat Armor Mk. III

PRODUCTION INFORMATION

• Manufacturer: Megan Holliway
• Affiliation: Megan Holliway
• Model: Sith-Imperial Legionnaire Mk. III P901 Rebuild
• Modularity: No
• Production: Unique
• Materials: Duraplast

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

• Classification: Multipurpose
• Weight: Average, 18kg
• Resistances:
  • Energy: High
  • Kinetic: High
  • Ion: High
  • Acid: High
  • Sonic: High
  • Lightsaber: Low

SPECIAL FEATURES

• Suit - Vac Sealed 1 Hour EVA Oxygen Supply - A basic space walk funcionality
• Suit - Magnetic Boots & Gloves - A basic space walk functionality
• Suit - Caustic Hazard Coating - For increased caustic protection
• Suit - Ion Dissipating Circuits - For increased ion protection
• Helm - Polarized Visor w Electronic HUD - A basic space walk and computer functionality
• Helm - Wireless Comm Suite - A basic communications package
• Helm - Advanced Sonic Aural Dampener - For increased sonic protection

STRENGTHS

• Short Range Space Suit - Allows for brief periods of operation in space
• Duraplast Armor Plates - Excellent protection against kinetic and energy weapons
• Caustic Hazard Coating - Increased resistance against acid damage
• Sonic Aural Dampeners - Increased resistance against sonic damage
• Ion Dissipating Circuits - Increased resistance against ion damage

WEAKNESSES

• Lightsabers - Minimal protection against Lightsabers. Glancing blows only
• Deep Space - Minimal protection against deep space cosmic radiation

DESCRIPTION

When her Mk. III suit was destroyed in her traitorous escape from Sith occupied planet Karthanc, Megan Holliway opted to rebuild it rather than throw it out. Tearing out much of the damaged specialized electronics and replacing them with more easily accessible free-market equipment. Making novice customizations and a few personal touches as she went.

She tore out the solar battery charger, the wide-ban antenna, the adrenaline injector, the power gloves, the integrated deflector shield, etc. Eh... Most of the stuff that was burned up from the escape anyway. And, Thermal Gel doesn't mold back into place after getting shot a few times either. However, she did take the time to add some new systems. Notably stronger sonic protections to the helmet and also a very expensive hazard coating to the plate molds. Increasing the acid and caustic protections of the suit.

Megan often wears the armor in conjunction with a giant fur overcoat for style and panache.

___

 

[Visanj T'shkali]

Megan Holliway

Hi there! I am Vis and I will be reviewing this submission. I would like to start by complimenting your formatting and the clean nature of this submission, as well as the terrific backstory included in the description regarding the rebuilding process, the logic used, and the reasons for. A very nice job. Thank you also for adhering to the new 5.1 Armor Template.

Everything looks good here, however I have a few suggestions:

1. Resistances / Balancing - You have made this armor as "Unique", which is rated then as a -4. Then you have made the weight to be "Average", which is rated at 0. Following on, you have three resistances set to "High", which at +1 each, combine for a total of 3. Finally, your last resistance is determined as "Low", for a -1. Adding these together your armor presently stands with an overall rating of -2. [-4 + 0 + 3 -1 = -2] I would encourage you to consider raising two degrees, as the aim of balancing is to total at ZERO. You might consider including "Elemental" and "Acid (And other corrosive substances)", since you mention them in the description specifically, and I'd suggest expending a point each to make them both high, and thus in line with your description. Also, you might want to consider adding "Sonic", "EMP/Ion", "Radiation", etc. I say this because, you have lumped several damage types together and merely labeled them as "High", which does not actually conform to the Factory rules. As I said, breaking these into specific resistances by damage type, using the 2 points you have to spend and leaving the rest at "Average" will put this submission in line with the rules and make it both balanced and more consistent with your description.

2. Special Features - I would consider 'fleshing' these out a bit more, perhaps discussing what is meant by each entry just a bit to give your readers a more clear understanding of the systems and technologies incorporated into this armor. It will help to facilitate better RP for yourself and your writing partners, and will show some of the armor's capabilities and limitations a bit more clearly. Remember, under "Materials" to list and link any components you specifically include, and also to list any canon (e.g. Wookieepedia, etc.) links for them in the section for that as well.

3. Strengths & Weaknesses - I know, you get all charged about a new sub and the cool things you imagine for it, and then you have to boil those cool things into strengths and also try to pick it apart for weaknesses. It is honestly one of my least favorite things to do, but as I learned early on "It's cool and makes you a god" won't work with us Judge-types. LOL. So I feel the pain. However, please try to list out some specific strengths such as your armor's high protection against various types of damage, or its really cool onboard sensors, electronics, communications, etc. This is where you can really show what this rebuild is capable of. You do this a bit better under 'Weaknesses' by specifically pointing out the low resistance to lightsabers, but you might also mention other damage types that it offers only average protection for, or perhaps talk about how it is a bit heavier weight than other suits of armor in use across the galaxy and how this affects your fighting ability / style, etc.

After that, I think we're solid and I can approve this tin can and you can get to tearing up the battlefields with it!

Again, thanks a lot and if you have any questions, please ask away!

 

[Megan Holliway]

Visanj T'shkali

Amazing feedback. You're totally a pro at this. Love it!

1. I split up the damage resistances and threw in 2 points for sonic and acid.
2. Added minimal descriptors to each feature. No additional special materials were needed, thankfully.
3. Listed each strength as such. Weaknesses feel relative but, such is such. I suppose.

Let me know if that's well and good. Cheers Vis! xoxo

 

[Visanj T'shkali]

Megan Holliway

Much better, and this helps to show capabilities and limitations in a much more clear and simple way. As I am fond of saying, one of the purposes of the Factory - arguably its chief purpose in many cases - is the facilitation of better RP here on Chaos. I appreciate your compliments, as it is always my intention to help writers to craft better submissions towards those ends. By giving writers feedback and explaining how and why our suggestions are formed, I feel that FJs like myself and the rest of our team can help not only the writer of the submission but also newer writers to see and understand how to improve their own. Explaining how a piece of technology works, how it might be used and how it might be considered by writing partners during RP is better for everyone. Good writers, such as yourself, serve as exemplars to others who seek to hone their own skills. That is the truest asset of Chaos, the sheer number of terrific writers and quality writing (including submissions) which gives us all such a wonderful playground. Your submission now does exactly this, giving you an armor which can be as 'real' a part of your stories as anything else. I am very happy to Approve it.