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Since the Last Goodbye

Master of Diplomacy Lady of Juniper
Character
Her attention was pulled away from the study she was doing when she felt him return. The man Jairdain had thought gone from her life. Like Karl had been taken from her, Jairdain had assumed Yuroic had met the same fate. She had reached out to him from time to time, but nothing was ever returned. Not a single mental message or anything physical. It was as if an abyss had found and swallowed him. In time, she had come to terms with him being gone and devoted herself to work.

Dividing her attention between Commenor, the Silver's and her own personal life, she had found balance. In life and in the Force.

Not wasting any time, Jairdain grabbed her cloak and practically ran to meet Yuroic when he arrived. There was a shock in her that even he might feel. No anger at him or anything and maybe not even love anymore. All because she had accepted he was gone. There was also sadness within her, but at least now she would be able to see him again.

Hardly giving him time to climb off his ship, she was there waiting for him. Due to the change she felt within him, she held herself back from embracing him. That sadness reared up as Jairdain gazed at him through the Force. A light touch from her might be felt as she explored what had changed. Unless he prevented her from doing this, she hoped he would still be open to her mental touch.

"What happened to you, Yuroic?"

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]
 

WelshGuy

Rawr!!!
Writer
Yuroic could feel Jairdain's presence, it was something that brought a small smile to his face. When he saw her running out to meet him, he assumed, possibly hoped, that she would embrace him. However, she had changed though it did not seem like much, her feelings toward him had changed. It was only fair that Yuroic accepted that, he had known she was still alive, though he never gave his presence away to her or anyone else, he made sure he was open to feel if she passed.

As they stood, his cowl covered his eyes but their dark, cold stare pierced through the material at her. He remained silent for a moment, absorbing everything about her. Jairdain was more beautiful than he remembered, but that wasn't important. He wanted to know if she had remained away from the Dark Side in his absence. When the light within her touched him, he let out a low hiss. Unuse to others probing him, he hadn't prepared himself properly. He did not, however, hold back as much of himself as he did with the Jedi. Allowing her to see what darkness he now held. A primal side released after he slaughtered his parents, something that hungered to kill again.

"I... I lost myself, only now have I started to find it." Yuroic said, remaining reserved. Not ready to open up honestly, perhaps never being able to.

[member="Jairdain"]
 
Master of Diplomacy Lady of Juniper
Character
Having known Yuroic for so long and been close to him over those years, their time apart while still very much something to talk about had not changed as much about her as he thought. She had never forgotten him, but his absence was accepted and in a way Jairdain had put her feelings for him away. Sealed it away in her memory and had moved on with her life. With his return, they resurfaced and she was confused.

She could read him almost as easily as she could before. He had changed as well and touched further into the darkness. However, true to his assurances from before he had not fallen totally. Far further than maybe he thought, but not as far as she had.

Even though he at first recoiled from her mental probe and caress, he allowed it to pass over him. Hopefully he had as much of a memory of how to read her as she did him. What he would feel was her acceptance of his change. Yuroic had helped her when she was in a similar situation and she would do the same for him.

No longer did she hesitate to embrace him. Her arms wrapped around him and she buried her face in his chest. Letting out a shaky breath and eyes full of tears, she focused on him again fully.

"What can I do?"

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]
 

WelshGuy

Rawr!!!
Writer
Yuroic could sense that deep inside her nothing had changed in her alignment to the Force, a small relief to him. He hesistated when she hugged him, embracing him close to her. His mind was blank, he couldn't think of what to do for a moment. An encounter like this was something he had deep down hoped for but doubted he would, it was also somewhat strange. Yuroic didn't think himself deserving of her affection, no matter how slight the affection maybe.

He awkwardly wrapped his arms around her. He remembered days where he qould have made a joke, laughed off his absence to comfort them both. This wasn't the person he was now, there was no seeable way he could be that guy again. Instead Yuroic turned his gaze down at her, the dark intensity remaining.

"There is nothing to do. This is just who I am now. Sorry, but... I cannot be the man you loved." Yuroic stated, breaking the hug. He didn't want to things to end, not really, but he couldn't be what she needed, deserved or fell for. Yuroic was just a monster hiding.

[member="Jairdain"]
 
Master of Diplomacy Lady of Juniper
Character
In the aspect of Jairdain being a mentalist, she not only could pick up on emotion, but on surface thoughts as well. For a moment or two, he was a blank slate or as much of one as he could be. Her embrace was returned, but it wasn't like it had been before he disappeared. When his thoughts came back, she knew how Yuroic thought.

Eventually he wrapped his arms around her as well and they stood there together in silence for a few moments. His answer was not unexpected but it burned far more than Jairdain thought it would. Even if she knew what he said was accurate and she had put their relationship in the past, she was still confused and unsure if it was the right thing to do.

Accepting of his words or not, Jairdain still cried.

"I know, time has changed us both. You more than me. My love never went away and I will remember who you were."

Even if he didn't feel they were meant to be together, their time wasn't over yet. Something had brought him home now, what it was, she didn't know. Maybe it was just for this moment, but she didn't think so.

"What's going to happen?"

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]
 

WelshGuy

Rawr!!!
Writer
It was hard seeing her tears, she still had feelings for him. Yuroic couldn't understand why, he wasn't the man she deserved, he didn't think he could be that man. Not any more. He stepped back a little, open space between them, mirroring the space that had developed in his absence. His mind attempted to think of another reason for being here, what could they do? It was allusive to say the least. Shaking his head, Yuroic cleared his mind.

Balance. He still needed balance. The bloodlust, the rage, it was clawing away at the surface. Flash memories of what he did, what he was capable of doing would distract him. He needed to remove it, get rid of it. Forget all that, start anew. Crossing his arms against his chest, Yuroic turned his gaze to Jairdain. He inhaled slowly as he pondered on what his meaning was here. Was it truly just to see her? Or was there something more? Was the Force guiding him?

"I... I am not sure what to do next. All I know what to do with my day is survive." Yuroic was honest, he was at a slight lost but curious to hear what she had to offer.

[member="Jairdain"]
 
Master of Diplomacy Lady of Juniper
Character
What Jairdain felt from him was almost as confusing as what she felt herself. When he pulled away from her though, it was clear he made up his mind on their relationship. It would stay in the past as it was, but they could make a new one. Not as lovers, but a different kind.

While she was still sad, she accepted his choice. There was no way to deny what had happened and she wouldn't ever do that.

"I understand, Yuroic."

She would hold a single ​hand out at his chest level and lightly touch the area of his heart. Her other hand would rise to her own and through their connection she would attempt to express her feelings for him. In a non-verbal manner, it would be clearly felt she agreed with him in that what they had ended as time had passed.

As his inner emotional demons were in turmoil, Jairdain tilted her head slightly as she observed it through the Force.

"I can help you. Put that which you are away and return you to what you were. It would wipe you memory of the time you've been away."

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]
 

WelshGuy

Rawr!!!
Writer
Forget it happened? Have his memories wiped of that moment? Did he truly deserve a gift like that though? No, Yuroic had to suffer. He had to remember that the monster was there, lest it be released at a time that could harm others. Not knowing his bloodlust before had killed his parents. While they were not good people, slaughter was not his way. Or was it? The kills did bring a twisted satisification, it did bring justice to those who had been enslaved. It stopped them ever hurting anyone else.

But the taste of blood remained fresh on his tongue, years later. "No. I cannot forget. I forget, I endanger others. I have balance now. I know myself." Yuroic stated in a cool, calm tone. He looked to their surroundings, curious about where she was staying. "I heard you have returned to the Silver Jedi Order, are you a Jedi once more?" Curious to learn what transpired to her during his absence.

Yuroic moved to a bench and took a seat. Perhaps it was time he started to learn what had transpired in his absence.

[member="Jairdain"]
 
Master of Diplomacy Lady of Juniper
Character
After offering to perform taking his memory away, Jairdain could tell he seriously considered it. A small part of her wished he would say yes, but the larger part knew he wouldn't. Listening to his answer, she showed some surprise when Yuroic said he had found balance and her face took on a rather neutral look before she spoke.

"You have about as much balance as a weight on one side of a scale without anything on the other. What you perceive as balance is very fragile for you, Yuroic. There is a tenuous and join pull on you from both directions. Look at me with the Force and you will tell what I am. As to where, well, I am unsettled and move around. Yes, I returned to the Silver's and live among them from time to time.

"In the near future I am going to be changing. Will be far more in touch with nature. To answer your question though, I no longer consider myself a Jedi. Their code is not mine. Instead I am on the path of my people and as such in balance. Accepting of both the light and dark within myself and others around me. Yuroic..."

Those tears came up again and sorrow filled Jairdain as she fell silent. They could never again be together as lovers, but that didn't mean they couldn't still interact.

"I don't want to lose you again."

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]
 

WelshGuy

Rawr!!!
Writer
Yuroic noted her surprised look, the doubt could easily be felt from her. She didn't think he had much balance, was fragile in her own words. While it might seem fragile and dangerous, Yuroic himself had gained perspective. Knowledge of himself, he knew how to control the anger, bloodlust and hatred. He knew where to find peace, clear his mind and gain insight. There was more stability in him than others would believe. He wouldn't have survived so long if he wasn't balanced. Wouldn't he?

"Maybe to your mind it seems fragile, but the Force can be a violent, dark power. One side violent while the other is serene. The Force itself is in a "fragile" balance as you put it. I know myself, I know how to use my anger, hatred and bloodlust to my advantage..." Yuroic closed his eyes, the mention of bloodlust was too much, too revealing. He should have held back.

"I would like to remain friends. Enjoy each other's company. Perhaps enjoy more than just the occasional chat." While he did not feel worthy for Jairdain, he could not deny his lust for him. It did not help that his absence was one in isolation, be a long time since he had been intimate.

[member="Jairdain"]
 
Master of Diplomacy Lady of Juniper
Character
"No, the Force is not in fragile balance, Yuroic. It is the people that are. You and I have faced that darkness and come back. Some more than others. We both know how to use these things to our advantage. There might come a day when you are triggered and that balance is tipped again. When that day comes, I'm afraid for you."

Her tone was firm, secure and believing when she started. The upcoming change in her was going to allow her to feel the living Force in a far stronger manner. No light, no dark, just the Force. It would connect her to nature as well and allow her to alter that. When she was emotional the weather around her would be effected as well. In both good and bad ways. Something Jairdain would have to learn how to control as time passed.

As she finished speaking, her tone was less secure, but no less emotional. That care, love and fear was all there and he would be able to feel it. Even if that love was just based on her memory of them, there was no way to deny it was still there.

As Yuroic continued on, she closed her eyes and stepped forward on her own. No conscience control of her movement and went to wrap her arms around him again if he allowed it. Far too long had they been separate, but that time would be something she was unable to set aside. Shaking her head at his suggestion they could be more, as much as she longed for those former days, it couldn't happen again.

"I have given into that lust before. That person is now dead and gone. I won't allow that happen again, especially to you. What happened between us is over and what happens in the future is unknown. Right now though...what we had, I will forever remember and know it can't be the same again."

While her voice was calm and serene, there were tears on her face.

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]
 

WelshGuy

Rawr!!!
Writer
He shook his head. She had such little faith in him, it hurt, perhaps he was further gone than either of them thought. But it was pointless to argue with Jairdain on their views, he thought the Force was as balanced as well. Just that the Dark Side tended to be a violent, corrupted side while the Light Side was passive, gentle. Perhaps too gentle, hence why the galaxy was in the chaos that it currently was. He could sense that she was going on her own path, one about the Force within living things.

This was a Force Yuroic knew, he had read in many texts about the Living Force. Though he did not use it often, he knew that in areas of Dark Side, there was light and vice versa. This knowledge meant that he never saw a planet was one of Dark Side or Light Side. It was a planet, allowing any Force User to harness its power, if one knew where to look. Standing, Yuroic looked at Jairdain, his eyes stern and calculated. He knew the risks and he knew he would not fall. He could not. He was part of the Silver Jedi.

"There is nothing to worry. I can handle myself, I have survived this long without falling, I think I can carry on doing it alone." He stressed the alone part. No one could be close to him, not anymore, not truly close to him.

[member="Jairdain"]
 
Master of Diplomacy Lady of Juniper
Character
"You will never been alone, Yuroic."

While he had a calculating look, Jairdain's was open and honest. There was still sorrow there. At the loss of her relationship, knowing it would never be what it had been. Yuroic was a changed man and she had remained too much the same. It drove a separation between them and until he realized what had happened, there was nothing she could do for him.

"Nothing to worry about. Right. When the time comes and you need me, you know how to contact me."

He had stood up and that​ was more than enough for her to know this reunion was over.

"My love will remain locked away in a box of memories, Yuroic."

Letting out a sigh, she ​left him standing there. With her turning away from him, it was as if she felt one final door of her past closing. A new future was in front of her. Putting on a brave face, Jairdain would attempt to hide her pain for now.

[member="Yuroic Xeraic"]
 
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