Private Shrine of the Dead

[Gerwald Lechner]

Life Day was always a time of celebration and the heralding of a new year. The new year was quickly approaching, and with it would come the throngs of resolutions people would make with very good intentions to keep, but most would abandon them before the first month was finished. For Gerwald, the holiday season was different this year. His was marked with loss, a loss so deep that no matter how many people tried to help him, Gerwald could not seem to shake the feeling that somehow Naedira Darcrath was not truly dead. Everyone was telling him he needed to move on, that she would not want him wallowing in his self pity. They were right, but Gerwald was not wallowing. Recent weeks had seen Gerwald taking many steps forward.

The turning point had been the poodoo show that had been the last session of the Viceroyalty. Eternity's End they were beginning to call it. There had been those among the Confederacy who had tried to pull it down from the inside, causing a war that could have been avoided. The results had been devastating, especially for Exarch Talon. Her loss was far deeper and more intimate than anything Gerwald had experienced, save for the fact he carried a force bond with the one he lost. It was that bond which made him feel as though she were still alive. He had done everything to move on from that point. His training sessions were never missed. Every assignment he had been given on light duty fulfilled, and now that he was medically cleared for full duty once again, Gerwald found himself standing at the shrine which had been erected for the sole purpose of remembering those who had passed.

Gerwald had never been able to bring himself to this place since Naedira's death. Today was different. While he still did not think she was truly gone, Gerwald needed to find various ways to remember the life she had. One fact remained despite everything. Her body itself was gone. Gerwald had seen the charred remains of his best friend, an image he would never be rid of. It was the one thing which kept him away when he should have been sleeping. The nightmare was always the same, it always ended the same way. Gerwald had failed to keep his friend alive. His sister was gone, his brother had left, his parents were dead. Anyone Gerwald allowed close to him always met with tragedy.

He sighed as the beast pulled out glass and a bottle of whiskey. It was stupid, but it was his thing. Ever since the ball where the pair danced for the first time there had been a joke about the fruity cocktail Nae had gotten for Ger. The giant lupine found an empty stone cubby among the structure which encircled the inside of the shrine for such things. Pouring a glass of whiskey, Gerwald left it inside the cubby and took a few steps back.

The hall echoed with his steps, those of the others in the room, and the barely audible prayers each offered in memory of their loved ones. A small smile pulled at his lips as Gerwald recalled the dance. It had been the same night he promised to keep her safe.

"You wanted me to live then, and I know you would tell me the same thing now. I don't know if I will ever shake this feeling that you are still alive. I don't know if there is a way to get you back, but I promise you I am living. I'm going for it... If there is every way to get you back you'll see. I will be the knight, the man, you knew I could be. I know you would tell me to do it for myself, and there is part of that is, but we both know I'm doing this for you too."

Ger paused for a moment as he ran a hand through his beard.

"Well I guess I don't really know what else to say right now, other than what I should have said that night we danced... I love you Naedira Darcrath, and I always will."

Lunara Azure

 

[Lunara Azure]

There was a quiet to the shrine, a solitude you could find in few other places, an emptiness that drew you out of yourself. A place of solitude where you were never really alone. And Lunara knew solitude. She'd known it all her life, from the age of 16 when an unfortunate incident had left her with her signature white hair, with the moniker Lady of Light. She'd been set apart from her fellows, a rising star of the church, always shuttled from assignment to assignment with more and more pressure and responsibility piled on. It was sink or swim, and she'd swum. Struggling for air, blind and battered she'd managed to survive the torrent only to find herself facing a horizon with nothing but waves on it. An endless battering that was all she could see of her future. Until the hand she'd least expected had reached out to her, pulled her to safety.

"You were always my rock, my port in a storm."

Bright blue eyes closed momentarily as she remembered that first time she'd seen him, striding arrogantly into the library as if he owned the building...which to be fair he did. She'd hated him a little bit at that moment, the way he just wandered over to her, breaking the silence she'd wrapped around herself, the momentary calm. That had always been his way, he'd been asked to check on her so he did it to the best of his ability. Even though she could see how much he hated it, how much he'd rather be off with his friends hunting or doing whatever it was princes did. She'd never expected that to be roughhousing and training with the soldiers garrisoned at the palace. She hadn't expected him to save her at the party, plucking her out of the even that was so out of her depth and whisking her away to a balcony. Neither of them comfortable in the surroundings, both of them telling tales of war, of combat. She'd fallen in love with him then, on that night under the moonlight as he waved around a rose like a sword before presenting it to her with that damned shy grin of his.

He'd become the highpoint of her day, she didn't know when or how but he had a habit of popping up when she least expected it. Picnics in the grounds, meeting the soldiers, men from her own street and district, the true friends he spent his time with. She'd been lost then, but she'd never realised he'd fallen just as hard. That first moment she'd fallen from her horse into one of the waterfall pools that dotted the palace grounds. The look of worry on his face turning to relief as she floated herself out of the water, she couldn't help but splash him, the two of them wrestling at the edge of the water. That first kiss, hesitant and heavenly.

"I miss you. I think I'll miss you for the rest of my life. You always had to be so heroic, First in, last out....you could have stayed home that day, you should have come back to me."

Crystal tears tracked down her cheeks. Of course, he couldn't. He could never be anything but himself, as their home fell and burnt around him what else could he do but stand, draw a line in the sand to buy time for his citizens to escape. They'd spent long nights cuddled up talking about how they could help the Imperium modernise, how they could help the citizens. Duty, always duty. Duty to family, to the citizens that looked up to you and those that didn't. All those chains of duty that bound them, bound their responses and actions. The duty that had taken her away from the planet when he'd needed her the most. When he'd been cut down, a beacon screaming defiance into the darkness. She'd felt it at that moment, that last breath, her name the last on his lips as it felt like half her soul had been torn away.

Duty that sustained her now, all that she could hold onto. She couldn't go home, couldn't bear to see them, those terrible demanding eyes, full of hope and sorry. Couldn't bear to walk the street he had, to stand where he'd stood and wonder if it might have been different if she'd been there if between them they might have held back the darkness for long enough to escape. If she could have taken his place.

Long white hair fell down to cover her face, a silken cascade that hid the young woman's features as her petite frame shook, tears falling unheeded down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...I love you."

Gerwald Lechner

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

A small tear threatened to fall from the corner of Gerwald's eye, and perhaps he should have let it, but the proud warrior and predator refused to let death get the better of his emotions anymore. Gerwald had almost died because he had been so consumed for the need for revenge. Alwine knew he was going to do something stupid. Alkor had seen it. All those around him had told him to let it go before he became just another number among the fallen, but he had not listened. Did he regret it? Gerwald was not sure. The Exarch had promised she would never tell him he could not seek the retribution he was after, provided he was not dumb about it.

Closing his eyes to catch the tear, Ger took a step backward. There was no reason for him to remain once his tribute had been paid, save for the fact he overheard a familiar voice. Gerwald did not usually pry, but he was curious, and so he paused and listened. It seemed he was not the only one under the employ of the Exarch which had lost someone close. Srina Talon was collecting the broken and hurting it seemed.

He could not explain why his feet began to carry him in the direction of the woman, but Gerwald found that he could identify with people who understood his level of loss better. One thing he needed were friends. Gianna Aegis had become a fast friend, Srina Talon an influence, and perhaps this coworker, Lunara, could become another friend to lean on. By the sound of her voice, and he words which left her mouth, Lunara needed someone or something as well. Grief did not need to be their master, something Gianna had tried to convey to Gerwald at one point.

"It seems that we have something in common," Gerwald said softly as he approached the white haired woman, "A husband?"

Gerwald did not want to assume, but the way she spoke of the man it seemed to fit. A small sigh left his lips as he did not know what else to say. It could be he was about to be chastised for interrupting a private moment. However, Gerwald did not care at the time. His focus was on being present. Why should he receive help and comfort from people without returning the gesture when he saw others who were wounded in the same way he was. It was not how he had been taught think, but the thought was there regardless. In his loss, in honoring Naedira, Gerwald was doing all he could to become a better man, a better version of himself. Perhaps this was a start to that.

Lunara Azure