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Sharlon

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Oka Osaa

Well-Known Member
Oka Osaa
Name: Sharlon

Region: Unknown
System: Sharlon System
Suns: 1
Orbital Position: 5th from star
Moons: Communication Array
System Features: Baro is a close by planet
Coordinates: Beside Lunar Meadow To The Left Republic
Rotational Period: 48hrs
Orbital Period: 600 local says

Class: Terrestrial
Diameter: Slightly bigger than Earth
Atmosphere: Type 1
Climate: Temperate basically describes Sharlon. Here and there, there's dry land but for the most part, its temperate. Winters are long, summers are short. Plants sprout in the late spring, in the areas that its possible for plants to grow.
Gravity: Standard
Primary Terrain: Urban, Plains, Taiga

Native Species: Humans, Others
Immigrated Species: People are not really positive on what they're called. Huge worms were the first species on the planet being followed up by snakes. Although they went extinct, Sharlons high technology allows fossils to be read.
Primary Languages: Galactic Standard
Government: Federal Republic
Population: 1billion
Demonym: Sharlons
Major Imports: Ships, Weapons
Major Exports: Goods
Affiliation: The Republic

Major Locations:
Jedi Monastary- where younglings can craft light sabers. Jedi can come here to focus the force. Training can be held here.

Stillon Bar- many Sharlons come here very often. It provides refreshments, alcoholic drinks, bounty posts, and all the usual things that are at a bar. One of the most sold non-alcoholic drinks is H'Kak Tea.

Only Crystal Location- the only light saber crystal on Sharlon was found by Oka Osaa. It was in this place. When the landmark was created, someone put a fake crystal in there for artifact use.
Culture: No major religions. Sharlons love music and art. Infact its a major part of culture in Sharlon. People like to go to bars, restaurants, and much more. The army isnt big but they can defend themselves until another force(s) can help out.
Technology: Really advanced. Republic forces have donated some technology or have sold technology to Sharlon.
History:
The planet is said to be formed 1.2 billion years ago. Many species that were on Sharlon perished during a bombing long ago by pirates. However, fossils have been found and scientists work every day to try and figure out the unknown species. Some species were violent such as the large worm. Once worms were seen, Jedi invaded them and aided the people.

Sharlon had a light saber crystal on it before. But then, Oka Osaa as a youngling stumbled into a ship and pressed many buttons that set course to Sharlon. He didn't know what he did but soon or later, he entered its atmosphere coming in hot. Luckily, he knew the way of the force and survived to find a crystal. That's when he made components and used the Sharlon crystal to craft a light saber. He trained for 10-12 years on the planet until his father came to the planet and picked him up.

Oka shared with his family about what the planet had on it. They then shared it with other people who traveled to the planet in 836 ABY. They were builders that went there to start a civilization. They made a whole city the following year 837 ABY. After years of development, the planet became Urban along with other terrain features. A large city was built with a Monastery in the center of it. Technology only gets better on this planet. Scientists are some of the smartest in the galaxy but they are no match for a fight. But when they get attacked, Jedi or Baro's aid them.

Notable PCs:

Intent: To help explain how Oka got his first light saber. Id appreciate that it can used in other RP's with permission or if I'm in it.
 

Valiens Nantaris

Head Admin
Valiens Nantaris
Admin
Character Bio
[member="Oka Osaa"]
As I said in your bio, this RP setting is 838 years after the Battle of Yavin. In that time there was a 400 year dark age of plague, collapse and war. Bear this in mind. So, let’s go through this step by step.

  • System features – refers to the other features of the solar system. Other planets, star types and such like. I’m not asking for much, but something.
  • Coordinates – means where on the map it is. Give the closest planet on the map and which faction it’s in.
  • Orbital Period – 600…what? 600 standard days or 600 local days (which is 1200 standard days)?
  • Diameter – simply put a comparison to Earth like “Slightly smaller than Earth” or similar.
  • Atmosphere – There’s a scale on Wookiepedia, use that.
  • Climate – Go into a bit more detail here. The planet will not be entirely temperate, it will have cold and hot spots.
  • Primary Terrain – This refers to the terrain of the planet, as in islands, mountains, deserts, forests etc. Go into detail about how things are laid out.
  • Native and Immigrated Species – Humans would not be native to there, they would come later. Give some descriptions of who the others are.
  • Major Locations – Expand on this further. There’s bound to be lots more places to visit.
  • Culture – Expand on this significantly.
  • Technology – As mentioned there are not Separatists in the galaxy as understood by this.
  • History – Really expand on a history of the whole planet. Give us some idea about when and how it was settled and major events which occurred since. Remember that the timeline is 838ABY at the moment.

Now, this might seem overly pedantic, but everyone is judged to the same level.

Think of it as if you were describing Earth to someone. You can’t describe everything we know and are in a few words. Make the world come alive for me, and by extension, everyone else.
 

Valiens Nantaris

Head Admin
Valiens Nantaris
Admin
Character Bio
[member="Oka Osaa"]
Coordinates are for where you’d LIKE it to be on the map.

As for the rest of this, I don’t really understand why this planet has been submitted. There’s nothing new or different on it which couldn’t be fulfilled by any number of other custom or canon worlds. You could easily have the Padawan crash land on Yavin or Kashyyyk or any number of other places. Make this place special.

Also, with the climate, give the OOC definition of the planet. Explain what it is whether or not it’s discovered in character or not.

Buildings and grass are not types of terrain! Urban and plains are, but there would be other types as well, one would imagine.

Look over some other submissions, emulate what they’re doing. Don’t submit a planet for the heck of it, submit a planet because you are sure it’s worth it and can do something no other world can.
 

Valiens Nantaris

Head Admin
Valiens Nantaris
Admin
Character Bio
[member="Oka Osaa"]
OK, thank you for looking into this. Apologies for the delay, I've been on LOA.

The history of the planet is not very plausible. Planets take thousands, millions of years to form and develop environments capable of supporting life.

I'm going to need that changed and the general history expanded as well.

@mention me when done.
 

Oka Osaa

Well-Known Member
Oka Osaa
The things I said. The submission would look better with less replies in my opinion. :p just another thing from my picky mind xd
[member="Valiens Nantaris"]
 

Valiens Nantaris

Head Admin
Valiens Nantaris
Admin
Character Bio
[member="Oka Osaa"]
*Rubs head*

OK, I'm going to try one more time. In all honesty, it's not very important game wise, but I can't let it slip by.

Cut out the bit about the planet forming oddly. It doesn't work that way.
Next, bombed by whom?
Also, I want some details about how the planet came to be settled and when. Time is very nebulous in this submission. Please go into more detail.
Also, remember the timeline of this board. The Republic and Jedi didn't really exist before about 10 years ago.
 
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