Sealing one's Mind [Ask to join]

[Alexandra Feanor]

Temple of the Grey

One week after Yutan



Alexandra winced as her body rested against her tree, hand over the wound in her shoulder and being careful with the other wounds that she had received. She had not bled out, the sith's weapon had made sure of that and she had treated herself but even then the damage remained to a rather significant extent, unable to stick herself in bacta with no one here to keep watch over her while she healed. Her breath was heavy, eyes barely open and mind trying to focus on anything it could while she sat there.

You are going to get us killed, your stupid love of this sickening Light.

You know that it won't make you happy or fix the past, but with the far more reliable hate that the Dark offers, you could fight far more efficiently. Perhaps even beat him.

Alexandra's eyes shot to the side, looking for the voice that she knew wasn't there and holding her head as she curled up against her tree. Its light aura tried to calm her but all she could do is stay there with her body shaking. She was in pain, and Hel enjoyed making that pain all the more relevant in her mind and taunting her over her failings to the point of Alexandra barely keeping her head on her shoulder sometimes. Daeda was the only reason that she could keep together at this point and even then the creature was working overtime to keep part of that pain from touching her mind.

Are you going to cry again worm, think about your family and friends. All of them are gone or have abandoned you, dead or see you a hindrance. Just die already and let me take over, you are nothing anymore and your powers failed you.

Alex looked at her saber as the words touched her mind, remaining against her tree and breaking again as she began to cry. She had failed all her students and failed at creating a family more than once, Hel was simply telling her what she already knew.

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

Her breath was cut short as icy fingers wrapped around her neck, dragging her to her feet as she was now inside a room with a being all too familiar grinning at her face. This was the room she had fought Hel in before, and her body was being held in the hand of the woman who despised her.

The weak little creature, fragile and useless. I miss that old body of yours... much more memorable this way, though.

A flash of red and both arms were gone, a scream leaving Alex's mouth but no one would hear that scream. They were inside her head, and Hel would have her fun now that Alexandra was broken again. She took her time causing the woman pain as another flash of red sunk the blade deal in Alex's gut, twisting it so that she could watch Alex's twisting expressions. Hel was enjoying all of this, enjoying her time torturing the woman who had her trapped within and now she could get some payback on the woman.

Do you remember when you created me? I believe it was twenty-three years ago. You created me when you wanted to get rid of all your 'dark' emotions. You tried to ignore part of your basic humanity and ever since then I have made you suffer for it. You killed innocents because of me, claiming their lives while I had command of your body. You fought for those Sith, helping them cause death across the stars, though you were a failure of a Sith and it was a relief when I had been granted my body. But then you refused to die and killed my body, drawing me back into you and robbing me of my freedom, something I do not easily forget you damned queen.

The hilt of a saber was sent into Alex's face, blurring her vision and causing a trail to run down her head and getting into her mouth as it still tried to draw in air, the grip on her throat tightening.

Its ok though, I get to have a bit of fun torturing you in your own head. It won't be ending any time soon too.

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

Alexandra coughed, hands clawing at her own throat as she tried to breath. She was ten again, her lungs filled with smoke as she lay in an alley and could not move further than she could crawl. Correlia's gutters were not commonly filled with children and even now she was probably the only one in the area. That fact wasn't important to Alexandra as she tried to get a clear breath through, looking up at the burning shell of a home that sat above her and watching parts fall from above and down into the Alley near her. She had fallen from that balcony, the distance enough to break her legs the moment they struck the hard streets below.

She wasn't alone though, not this time. Standing againt the wall with the burning building above was Hel, her eyes and face resembling Alexandra's own. Her eyes were staring up at the burning scene though, actually pain and sadness in them as she sighed and looked at the tiny child who could barely breath. You know, I am still you. You created me from those pesky little emotions you were scarred of. Sadness, Pain, Fear, Anger... and many more I simply don't care to mention. All of these were crafted into me when you tried to free your mind of them and shelter yourself from the realities of what being human means. That is why you deserve death and pain, because it means you are accepting the things you created in me and I am quite annoyed when you try to be this paragon of humanity and lightside. How can you be such without understanding your own pain and accepting it?

Her words stopped and she looked at the fire above her before shaking her head and walking towards Alexandra's curled up form, still barely gasping for air and holding back the pain that was shooting through her body from the fall. Hel touched the young childs forehead and stared, looking into Alexandra's eyes before drawing her hand upwards and yanking the child's hair, dragging it up from the ground and holding it in the air before tossing Alexandra further down the alley, her body tumbling like a ragdoll as it was bruised and cut up by the debris that littered the floor.

Honestly, I can't believe that you even survived as a child, how you clung to that hope someone would come to save you, how you thought there was some light at the end of the tunnel and that hope did come. You were saved from this hell by the actions of man who would care for you and hope you did what would make you happy. He had such hope in this broken child that you were when he found you, cut and burned, legs broken and your lungs harmed by the smoke that wrapped around you like a blanket. I honestly don't know what he saw in this broken useless form infront of me, and I honestly don't know why you held onto your useless sense of hope. Would you kindly show me?

Her foot came down on Alexandra's eyes, shutting out the world she had lost long ago.

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

Alexandra blinked as she tried to push herself up, older now and her silver hair covering her face. Mud and dirt caked it with her limbs struggling along to keep her from simply collapsing back into the ground, the only object within reach being an all too familiar metal staff which remained in her hands. A familiar voice sounded, but not the one who had been tormenting her and rather a voice she had not heard since opening his Holocron after she had escaped a life in the Sith, wanting to find out what had been trusted to her. "Do get up Alex; We cannot continue your training if you just sit there in the dirt." There was a pause, and she knew what the next set of words were, a reward that always made her fight a bit harder during their training sessions and started to bring a smile to her face. "I'll let you work on those droids we have in the back of the compound if you can hit me this time."

She hesitated to look up, expecting Hel's face to be there but instead she saw the actual man who claimed that voice. Her hand lets go of the staff, and she rushed into him, forgetting about anything and resting her forehead on his chest while she wept. He only sighed and put his hands on her back, holding the now fifteen-year-old girl while she cried with his eyes focusing past her on a shade that just watched with a sad look still on its face. He was the one who owned this memory and was torn from the recesses of her mind as well as drawn from the force to console the girl who was beaten by this sad shade.

"Calm down Alex, can't have my little puppeteer's tears ruining the time I am afforded." He called her a puppeteer, a title he had given her because of that love for droids and wanting to get them to do tasks that she had become lazy to do on her own. He always chided her for such use of the droids, but she could always make them do whatever she had the resources for. "Come, let's had some tea and talked Alex. I've missed a lot of your life, and I am sure that you are not interested in training with me inside your mind. That spectre of yours has every intent in finishing what she started, but I was able to seize a bit of time of my own." He didn't understand why the shade was letting him talk to Alexandra, or why it would not show its face, but even then he knew it showed nothing but sadness when looking at him.

Alexandra did not question his words, or complain about the short time. She did not worry or assume he would be around for long, after all it took alot to even project him into her mind much less bring him back like this. She was just happy that he was back for now and pushed back, staring at the silver strands that fell infront of her face now and obscured her vision of him. The first time she had looked at him in years and what stood infront of her was the same aged man as before, his eyes rimmed by glasses and with a rather shabby look that always felt like he had been digging in the dirt for hours. At his waist was a familiar pair of sabers which she stared at for a few moments before reaching to her side and finding nothing. His crystals were still in those sabers in this vision, still his and not some heirloom passed down to her.

"Yes, sorry master. I am a bit tired and tea could go nicely." She heard a scoff, barely audible and behind her as the shade allowed itself to vanish from sight. It was slow enough to be seen by Alex and she could have sworn Hel's face had tears on it before disappearing but that was probably a trick of the eye caused by her own tears. She looked back at the old man, his barely black hair having long ago greyed and now resting on his head in a messy fashion. He was as she remembered and she started to walk with him back to the compound, hoping to spend some time with the old man.