Private Reprimand

[Ara Sheridan]

CORUSCANT | JEDI TEMPLE
MORNING | CLEAR SKIES
TAGS: Valery Noble

To say that she messed up was the understatement of the century. Losing her cool with Silas Westgard at the sparring event could probably have been forgiven, but attacking Miri Nimdok at the gala was a knee-jerk reaction that had Ara squirming with guilt since it happened. She came to the realization of why she did it... and it only made things much worse. There was no good reason for it. No excuses. She was jealous, and instead of talking to people and working on herself like a responsible adult, she let her emotions get the better of her. It cost her a friendship she held very dear in Iris Arani , it cost any hopes of new friends in the Jedi order.

And now it was going to cost her one more in the form of a Jedi master she looked up to for guidance.

There was likely only one reason for Master Valery to summon her like this. One reason for a formal meeting in the Council Chamber alone. She certainly wasn't getting promoted. No, this was the end of the road for her. The only big break she got in her life, a chance to become much more than anyone ever expected her to be, crushed because of her own petty feelings and inability to master her emotions. "Emotion, yet peace." That term was starting to make a lot more sense after everything that happened. Hindsight was the best sight... it was too late for her now.

Stiff as a board, Ara patted down her robes as she took the turbolift up to the Chambers. She hadn't eaten anything in two days. She couldn't. Not with the knot in her stomach and the shame in her heart. She prayed that the turbolift would malfunction or fall back down, or the door jammed shut and her lightsaber malfunctioned. Anything to stop this meeting from happening. But alas, the door slid open and the sunlight bathed into the room. Gingerly she stepped out of the lift, as if she was afraid that she was going to ruin the floor or break something. This wasn't meant for people like her. She lost the privilege of that dream the moment she grabbed hold of Miri.

"You..." Her cracking voice cut out with a croak, forcing her to swallow hard as she kept her gaze on the floor. It was a really nice floor. "You wanted to see me, Master?" She managed to speak up, barely louder than a whisper.

 

[Valery Noble]

Council Chambers
Appearance | Outfit | Weapons​

Valery did not want to be here.

It was never an easy thing to call up a young Padawan into the Council Chambers for extremely serious conversations like this, but she knew it was also part of why she was in this position. So as much as she wished things were different, Valery had settled into her chair at the center of the circle of 12, and let out a soft sigh while she waited for Ara to make her way here. She could already feel the Padawan, slowly moving up in the elevator, and with regret and pain as a constant echo in the Force.

But feeling genuine regret was not enough to dismiss what had happened.

When Ara finally appeared, Valery looked at her with an almost pained expression that showed very little of her usual kind-hearted nature. It was tough not to try and be comforting, but Ara needed to understand what was going to happen next without it being downplayed in any way.

"You wanted to see me, Master?"

"They want you behind bars, Ara," Valery said in response to let the gravity of the situation sink in for a moment. But after giving Ara a few seconds to think about it, she spoke again, "I know you've been struggling, and that what happened isn't who you truly are deep down, but why? You were always so much stronger than this."

Ara Sheridan ​

 

[Ara Sheridan]

Ara's eyes widened for a moment as her heart sank further. The knot in her stomach tightened and genuine fear crept up within her. That was definitely not what she was expecting to hear. "... W-what?" She choked, her hands instinctively folding across her chest. But she quickly dropped them, rsther holding her hands in her lap as a sign of respect.

Valery went on to ask why she did it. That dreaded question she couldn't escspe from. Her eyes immediately shifted away into a pained frown, rather looking at one of the chairs to the side. She couldn't bear to look Master Valery in the eye. "I... I wasn't, Master." She muttered as her throat tightened. "I thought I was. I thought I got it all figured out... I lost control, Master. I got jealous. I-I blamed it on every... everything else." She swallowed hard as she felt her sinuses open up, and her gaze became foggy.

"On Kyell cheating on me, on people not wanting to take an illiterate Underworld gutter rat seriously... I blamed it on everything, Master. But that wasn't true." She sniffed as she wiped at her eyes, still refusing to look at her. "... I was jealous. Of Kyell and Miri, of Iris and all the padawans having everything figured out. I-I und... understand it now, Master. The code. I let my emotions... I karkin' didn't think." She finally found the strength to look at Master Valery with desperation in her teary eyes.

Her voice was climbing unintentionally, though she quickly checked herself and looked away again. "Please, Master... I'll give up my lightsaber, I'll leave Coruscant forever, I'll never come back... but please, Master... don't let them lock me up." She took a step closer, almost wanting to grab hold of her hand as she begged.

"I know the animals in the prisons, they're... I'll be gone in there. Please Master..." Tears were rolling down her cheeks but she didn't care. "I'll rather die than go in there." Raw, unbridled fear glimmered in her eyes as she stared at the Jedi Master.

Valery Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Council Chambers
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While Ara answered her question, Valery remained silent and listened without betraying her emotions visibly. But having tried to help Ara on numerous occasions with her problems, it was definitely painful to hear all of this. She felt like the two of them had made so much progress, and now it almost seemed as if it had been thrown out the window. Charges were being pressed against her, and even just a year behind bars would undoubtedly have a profound impact on Ara's future.

"Please, Master... I'll give up my lightsaber, I'll leave Coruscant forever, I'll never come back... but please, Master... don't let them lock me up."

Finally, a deep frown found its way to Valery's face, as she saw the woman's teary eyes and felt her sorrow through the Force. But as much as she wanted to somehow help Ara, there was very little she could do. "I'm sorry Ara, but I'm not above the law. Because of the circumstances and the low likelihood of you committing the same crime again, I'm sure the sentence will be reduced somewhat, but I can't stop it from happening."

She let out a soft sigh and leaned forward in her chair, her eyes resting on Ara, "You'll be placed in a special facility made for Rogue Jedi and others who might be harder to contain, so you won't have to worry about other inmates causing trouble. But it's still going to be a difficult time," she told the Padawan with pain in her heart.

"I will also have to ask you to hand over your lightsaber. It will be kept here at the Temple, should you find your way again, and return to the Jedi someday."

Valery paused for a moment and hoped to look the younger woman in the eyes, "I'm sorry I wasn't able to do more for you when it mattered." Right now, she wouldn't have even tried to use her authority to change the outcome of the trial. She only wished she could have made a bigger difference before all of this happened. It just showed again how some Jedi quite simply weren't ready for more serious relationships, and why it used to be banned entirely. Valery herself had a partner, but she also had a vast amount more experience when it came to controlling herself and her emotions.

To her, it was a source of strength and motivation - to some, it was a disaster waiting to happen.

Ara Sheridan ​

 

[Ara Sheridan]

It felt like one last punch in the gut for the Zabrak when Master Valery spoke up again. There really was no way out or around it. She was going to prison... but even the type of prison merely made things worse. "Hard to... Master... those people..." She couldn't even finish her sentence. She knew the kind of animals that were locked up in Coruscant's prison. She didn't even want to know what waited for her in a Jedi prison.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to do more for you when it mattered."

Her eyes lowered to look at the lightsaber on her hip. The hilt might have been adjusted for her own fit, but it was still the weapon of a legendary Jedi. A massive honour for her when she found it, now another symbol of her failure. "You did nothing wrong, Master." She muttered, slowly unclipping the hilt and holding it with both hands. It felt heavier than usual, even the crystal felt like it wanted to get away from her. With a sob she hugged the weapon against her chest and closed her eyes, taking one last moment to hold it. How could she return? She was going to be a convict, expelled from the Jedi Order. How could they possibly keep it with the expectation that she would return?

"Master... can they please keep it on the ship when I go? I... I want to feel it close." She asked as she opened her eyes, holding the weapon out to Master Valery with both hands. A hundred different things flooded her mind at once, all of her things as well as her pod. "And... my mom, she lives in Enclave space. On Hefi. Sam Sheridan. She's got a mechanic shop with her girlfriend there. Can you... can you please take my pod and stuff to her? To keep it safe?" She asked cautiously with a sob.

She was in no place to ask anything from anyone, but everyone that knew her understood how much she cared for the few belongings she had.

Valery Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Council Chambers
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"You did nothing wrong, Master."

With a somber expression on her face, Valery stood up and watched Ara as she hugged the lightsaber to her chest one last time. Outsiders often didn't realize that the lightsaber was so much more than a weapon or a tool to Jedi — the crystal within was bonded to its owner, and it was very much an important symbol they did not want to lose.

"It's not up to me to decide if it can be on board, but I'm sure they'll allow it as long as it's kept separated enough," Valery said in response before she placed a hand on Ara's shoulder and gently squeezed, "I'll get the pod and your other belongings to your mother, and you'll be able to talk to her as well after you've been moved to the facility."

It wasn't much, and Ara likely wasn't looking forward to a conversation with her mother about all of this, but talking to family and friends could help her get through all of this, and hopefully allow her to come out with the determination to never make a terrible mistake like this again.

"Ara, while I know this is farewell for now, I do hope to see you return someday, and that things will be different. Better," she said with a soft smile before she withdrew her hand and briefly turned her eyes to the elevator. "Is there anything else before I bring you down to the shuttle?"

Ara Sheridan ​

 

[Ara Sheridan]

Ara spared a quick glance up at Master Valery as she stood in front of her, suggesting that her request could likely not happen. "It'll... mean more if you ask 'em." She tried to bargain, but she quickly went quiet for a moment as she stared at her weapon. The last thing in the galaxy she didn't want to lose... now she was forced to give it up.

The only consolation was that Master Valery reassured her that her belongings would get to her mother. "Thank you, Master." She muttered through a sob. "She's all I got left." She admitted softly as she turned to look at the door for a moment. The Jedi Master went on to ask if there was anything else, and the Zabrak thought for a few very long moments.

There was. There was a lot. She wanted to see Iris again. She wanted to gather up the courage to go see Kyell, tell him how sorry she was. She wanted to know if anyone would even come to visit her, or if she eould be left in a hole and forgotten by the rest of the galaxy.

She didn't even realize that Master Valery's hand was resting on her shoulder until she tried to pull away. In the blink of an eye, Ara grabbed hold of her hand with a gentle grasp. "Will you at least come visit?" She found herself asking. She had nobody else anymore. All of her friends turned their backs on her for what she did. Master Sol'yan would receive word of what happened, though she was sure he would at least visit when he was able to. Her mom too. But everyone else was gone.

She knew that Master Valery knew. She was the closest thing to a friend she had left. Her gaze lifted up to Master Valery's as she let the question hang. "Will you or anyone else even remember me?" She continued, letting go of her hand as she turned to walk with her.

Her feet were heavy, her shoulders hunched over, and her eyes were glued to the ground. She didn't want to know or see anything. In the turbolift, Ara finally held her hilt up with a shaky hand for Valery to take.

Valery Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Council Chambers
Appearance | Outfit | Weapons​

When Ara stopped her from pulling back her hand, Valery tilted her head and quietly looked at her. The question that followed briefly drew a surprised look from Valery, but it quickly shifted into a soft smile and a squeeze of the shoulder, "I'll visit, and I'm sure I can get Iris to come along as well. Maybe Kyell too, when he's ready." She wasn't going to pressure Kyell or Miri to talk to Ara at any point, but she had a feeling that Kyell especially would want to talk at some point as well.

Yenna had made it clear she was guiding the young man to not give up on friends, after all.

Finally, she did withdraw the hand when Ara let go, and slowly guided her towards the elevator, where they stepped inside and spent a brief moment in silence, until Ara asked her a question, "I'd like to think that Jedi don't remember someone for their worst days, so I'm certain your friends will think about you, and with time, visit you as well."

Inside the elevator, she finally accepted the lightsaber and wrapped one arm around Ara's shoulders — a last bit of comfort before they finally reached ground level, and the walk towards the shuttle began.

Ara Sheridan ​

 

[Ara Sheridan]

Ara's gaze sank again at the mention of Iris or Kyell visiting. She had no hope of seeing them ever again. Even if she somehow could rejoin the Order after her sentence... would they want to see her? She did nothing but poison their lives, never did anything good and didn't leave anything worth missing. They were better off without her. "They won't." She muttered simply as she looked away.

Master Valery wrapped an arm around her and she couldn't stop herself from pressing further into her. After everything she went through, this was her fate. And the last form of good contact she was going to have was an encouraging hug from her role model.

When the elevator opened up, Ara could see the shuttle on the landing pad in the distance. With a heavy step, she started the long walk towards the shuttle with Master Valery right beside her. It felt like an eternity by the time they reached the shuttle, and every step felt like ridicule. She didn't know if anyone was watching. She didn't want to know. She didn't want to let people see her get cuffed up and taken away like a thug on the street. She was far from some low-life criminal. She spent more than five years to become more than that.

And yet, there they were. By the shuttle with the security waiting on her. Ara came to a halt and pulled out her datapad. The screen had gotten worse. She could have sworn that the crack was far smaller, and she knew she didn't let it fall. It had been getting worse since the day Kyell came to see her. Now it was almost useless. She held up the device to Master Valery, her last personal belonging. She hoped that she remembered to ask about the lightsaber.

With a heavy breath she walked up to the security, her hands outstretched for them to cuff her and walk her up the ramp. But she stopped by the first step, turning around to get one last look. Of the temple, the younglings training in a sparring chamber, other Masters and Padawans training together. Her mind went back to master Sol'yan as she continued to stare at the majesty of it all. Finally her green eyes looked at Valery. She wanted to say or do something. A 'goodbye' or a wave, anything. But there was nothing. She merely stared at her until the security ushered her up the ramp and into the ship.

Valery Noble