Approved Planet Planet of Knojur

[Emperor Xhinx]

Planet Name: Knojur
Region: Unknown
System: Knojur
Suns: 1 star named Zarchas, Similar to that of the sun in our solar system with 1,400,000 km diameter
Orbital Position: Close, only planet in orbit
Moons: N/A
System Features: Empty dark space
Coordinates: Q-21
Rotational Period: Equivalent to 1 Earth year
Orbital Period: 2000 km/h

Class: Giant Terrestrial
Diameter: 17,000 km
Atmosphere: Type I
Climate: Arid
Gravity: Twice Standard
Primary Terrain: Mountains and hills, all rock/stone

Native Species: None (Colonized by Xhinx)
Immigrated Species: None (Not yet discovered by others)
Primary Languages: Galactic Standard (Selected all to avoid complication)
Government: N/A
Population: 1 so far
Demonym: N/A
Major Imports: N/A
Major Exports: N/A
Affiliation: Independent

Major Locations: Lonely colony created by Xhinx

Culture: N/A

Technology: Modern technology brought by Xhinx

Notable PCs: Xhinx (me)

Intent: This will serve as a major story/plot advancement and could be in many RP's, it may also eventually serve as a Species home world, and maybe even a factions home world.

History: Xhinx was on a search to set up a base of operations for his research, experiments, and prophet-like exercises, he searched long and hard to find such a planet, not only isolated, but suitable for Xhinx's demeanor. Xhinx was traveling in search of an ancient rune, and when he thought his search was all but lost, he located this planet, perfect for Xhinx. Xhinx declared this planet his, seeing as how people would have to go out of their way, not even knowing of this planet, to find the planet.

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

Under review.

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

[member="Xhinx"]
OK, there's going to have to be some serious changes here. These changes are not open for debate.

• Whilst rogue planets exist they are freezing balls of rock wandering the empty void forever. These rogue planets are reduced to near absolute zero and bathed in harmful radiation from dying stars. I'm going to categorically say that no ordinary life could possibly evolve on such a world unless it was living far underground and the planet had a hot core. Since that is not the case, this planet requires a star.
• No planet is ever stationary either in a broad sense or rotation wise. They will always rotate around the galactic mass, even if they have no star. Earth moves at thousands of kms an hour, and so does the sun. Everything moves around the galactic core. Since you are being required to add a star, this needs to be changed.
• 70,000km is not an option. Absurd Rakata explanation or no, a planet this large would not form as it would take over a dozen earth sized bodies to obtain the necessary mass. Make this less than 20,000km.
• Atmosphere, as mentioned, cannot be maintained in such an environment. When you put this around a star it will require at least Type II unless you have an astoundingly good reason in your species submission.
• Technology: If the planet has had no contact, how can it have modern technology? Even if we were to accept your Sith Lord story, he would have been here thousands of years before. This needs to be changed.
• Population: 20 billion is not a remotely viable population. I am not judging your species submission, but given the lack of any other possible life on the planet, this species' reproduction is un-viably big. This will need to be severely reduced.
• I am not in favour of species which are basically created to power game, and that's what this magically self replicating special snowflake species is. I am also not a fan of dark side nexus planets or species which only eat the Force. It's cheap, and a cop out, and it needs to go.

Basically, this is going to require a complete rewrite. I will not accept a planet designed to try and shoehorn in yet another dark side super-race. This needs to be redone, expanded and ironed out.

Things which also need expansion:

• Culture: I like your ideas here, but it needs to be reworked with the new species ideas and my ideas above.
• Locations: Expand this, you have some good ideas.

There is one further point: this submission is suspiciously like a submission you made last year which was lost in the wipe. Because we have no complete version of that old sub we are not automatically denying this. However, I do not look kindly on trying such a trick. Thus you have one chance to get this right before I deny it with no appeal. Consider this your Second Chance....

 

[Emperor Xhinx]

I have the inhabitants solely force reliant, with numbed senses, would I still need to incorporate a star?

Also the background for the species involves a a dark ritual type creature being formed through the force that I can change to slowly self reproduce because of being made from the force. Similar to something like Midichlorian Manipulation.

I will also change things appropriately.

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

[member="Xhinx"]
Yes, because I am not in favour of this origin story. It leads to excessive abuses, intentional or not. I would like to see a more appropriate origin devised, and a sun included.

There's plenty of creative ways to incorporate your ideas though.

 

[Emperor Xhinx]

Is the whole part of the Sith Lord using the force to create them and them solely using that to life not allowed?

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

[member="Xhinx"]
Effectively yes. You could do it as a development thread of about 100 posts and even then there would need to be changes.
It would be quickest not to do that.

 

[Emperor Xhinx]

Just curious, why so many posts? Why not one large collections of paragraphs detailing the entire thing?

Referring to the 100 post thing.

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

[member="Xhinx"]
You could write it as a story. I'll accept 10,000 words if you want to do it that way. You can then split it across posts or do it in a blog.

However, said species must still have mortal strengths and weaknesses, and all my requirements above must be met. The species cannot be entirely dependant on the Force or self replicate and nor can it exist without having viable living conditions.

 

[Emperor Xhinx]

Completely redone to serve only as a colonized planet for future development. (Will revise if needed.)

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

[member="Xhinx"]
OK, this is almost perfect. Thank you for taking my messages to heart and acting on them.

My only suggestion before I pass this is to clear out the mention of the Rakata tech. It's not needed.

Explain how your person found the planet, and that will do for history.

 

[Emperor Xhinx]

Updated.

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

OK, this is now acceptable.

Approved.

 

[Valiens Nantaris]

Approved.