Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Private Pink Collar Criminal

Kai'el Brat "Guardian of the Light"





TAGS: Xoff Chantin Xoff Chantin
didimtz-32984846-6a65-4aad-9ac1-5eea52f7d21f.png

didntb5-9276bce2-5c04-4ff6-9407-433727304654.png






Braze had set course for a secret location, but stopped briefly to refuel and deal with any unwelcome stragglers his security systems had flagged. He wasn't about to let any bugs trail him to such a sensitive destination. The offenders were promptly and discreetly discarded at the Lucky 7's Spaceport. Sorry DEVILMAN DEVILMAN , not today.

He had initially settled Xoff Chantin Xoff Chantin into one of the holding cells aboard the Mud Duck, leaving Gidgit posted to watch over the detainee. Xoff would be delivered to Valery Noble Valery Noble soon enough.

Once everything was squared away and triple-checked, Braze punched in the coordinates for their destination.

Several long hours later, Braze returned to the brig, where Xoff had been left alone with nothing but the overly chatty droid for company. His weapons had been stripped away earlier and secured safely in the weapons cache locker.

Braze paused outside the cell, taking a moment to study the captive. He was no longer wearing the cloak or the heavier armor plating he'd had on before. Instead, he carried several bags of convenience store goodies, standing there for a beat longer than necessary, just watching.

Finally, he spoke,
"Are you cold?"




 
yOBUJrI.png





Outfit: Something Nice
"Are you cold?"

Xoff remained silent. He had taken the offer to call Jobbi Chantin Jobbi Chantin and let her know a Jedi would be giving her a ride back to the temple, thankfully managing to keep her curiosity redirected to the Jedi instead of Xoff's sudden change of plans.

Afterwards, silent once again. Only stared daggers returned the Padawan's question.

Yes, he was cold, but underworld rule #1, don't talk without legal representation. Even moreso if dealing in information was your trade.

He wasn't clueless - a practiced Info Broker with over two decades of experience in the trade. Once the mist wore off he had pieced together the boy's identity - though the Jedi was older and had less organic facial features. The questioning about Jo'Han along with the fluctuations likely meant the message Tork Lok Tork Lok sent was received and made things personal.

Even if Xoff wasn't technically involved with the hunt, nor was it his place to question one of the Hutt's cabinet, being married to Whottoomuzz afforded him access to privileged information that he otherwise shouldn't have.

Of course, all they need is a telepath to probe my mind Xoff thought.

He had a teeny bit of force sensitivity, but not nearly enough to shield from a dedicated mind-cracker.

Unfortunately, Xoff exercising his right to remain silent did little to silence the talkative droid. Xoff idly considered the merits of acquiring such a talkative bot as a means of psychological torture as it yapped.

 
Kai'el Brat "Guardian of the Light"




Braze didn't say anything at first.

He just stood there, the loose grip on the convenience store bags, the hum of the ship filling the silence.

"Y'know," he drawled eventually, "I usually save these for friends. But hey..."
He let the words trail lazily.

"Even a stubborn brat's gotta eat sometime, right? Not much company besides a mouthy little droid. Thought you might be getting bored... Conversation goes a lot better with a full stomach."

Braze shifted his weight, the crinkle of a snack bag accompanying the slow, deliberate tap of his boot against the floor.
With a soft pshht, he cracked open a can of something fizzy.

He placed a straw in the drink and took a careful sip , mechanical but practiced. and then set the open drink down gently just inside the cell bars.
Without fanfare, he tossed the rest of the convenient store bag full of snacks through the bars onto the bench.

Then he moved away, dragging over a battered rolling chair and a small table, setting up just a few feet from the cell. Casual as could be, Braze settled cross-legged into the chair.

He set out a datapad on the table... tapping a few keys on a datapad reading something over before turning it off.

"They already know what they need."

He flicked his gaze up, looking to meet Xoff's.

"But hey," he continued, "maybe you want to correct a few mistakes before someone else does."

He let the suggestion hang.

"I already know every name... every credit pocketed... and every lie spun," Braze said quietly.
"You can keep playing silent and let the real law enforcement pick your bones clean for free... Was that really a weird ex of yours or just another lie to squeak out of some other form of trouble? Is taht why you came along so willingly after that?"
His words implied that Braze actually... had no real jurisdiction to arrest Xoff in truth. He was after all... not law enforcement. But he certainly seemed to be having fun playing at it.

Without another word, Braze began stripping away the remnants of his outer coverings, and the heavier gear layered on top.
Piece by piece, until it was just him, seated there in a sleeveless compression shirt and his pants and boots, the exposed skin a brutal landscape of scars and burns.

His arms, his throat, even what was left of the fine lines of his face, all marked by deep sun burnt damage.
Sunblistered skin that had burned and cracked and healed poorly during months of imprisonment.
The once-pristine porcelain complexion was gone, replaced by something hardened, and marred.

Next Braze simply opened the messenger bag he'd brought along, pulling out a neatly folded olive-green flight suit , one that was thick and durable on the outside, lined with softer material within , along with fresh socks and undergarments, tags still attached.

He slid the clothes through the bars without a word, setting them neatly across the bench inside the cell.

Braze dropped back into the battered rolling chair, seating himself in an odd, sideways position — angled toward the door leading into the security room rather than directly facing Xoff. An open posture seemingly unbothered, as if Xoff wasn't a threat worth watching.

Casually, he brought up the Zinder app on the datapad, thumbing through it with slow, deliberate movements until Xoff's profile filled the screen.
Braze made a low noise , something between a hum and a chuckle, deep in his throat.

"I wonder if your husband knows about this..." he mused aloud, tone light, almost conversational.
He flicked through a few more pictures with the pad of his thumb, slow and deliberate.

"You have cute pictures..."
Braze tilted his head faintly, eyes glinting under the brig lights.

"If I were your husband..." he continued, voice a little softer, almost teasing, "I might be more than a little jealous if I came across this."

He shifted in the chair then still not looking directly at Xoff.

Braze shifted again in the chair, tapping a few idle commands into the datapad before speaking aloud, still not really looking at Xoff.

"Gidgit," he said casually.

The security feed crackled a little as the little droid's chipper voice answered immediately:



Yes, Captain Braze! Should I start taking notes?


Braze gave a rough exhale and leaned back lazily, balancing the datapad against his knee.

"Bring up that advanced ethics and philosophy lesson I need to grade," he said, voice smooth, almost bored.
"And replay the last class recording while you're at it. Might as well get some work done while we wait."


On it, boss! Uploading now!
You really are a multitasker. You should put that on your resume.


The datapad blinked as a new window opened, lecture notes, grading templates, a holovid of Braze's recorded class came in to view from Gidgit's projector as the small droid settle don the table, complete with a scrolling roster of sleepy-eyed Padawans. And one Xoff Chantin Xoff Chantin might know very well.

A familiar recorded version of Braze's voice echoed lightly through the brig:

Braze paused in front of the young Huttling. Without a word at first, he extended an open hand and slowly knelt, balancing his voice through the vocoder with as much clarity as he could manage.


"You can have mine," he said simply, offering her another box... one still intact.

He gave her a moment, then added, "This time… try to go slow. Think first. Work gently."

There was no scolding , just a quiet nudge toward self-control.

"These boxes are sturdier than they look. Well made. But even strong things can be broken when handled without care."

He waited, watching to see if she'd take the second chance, not just at the box, but at the lesson beneath it.


still listening, posture loose, gaze distant. As if grading homework mattered more than the man trapped behind the bars.
 
Last edited:
yOBUJrI.png




Outfit: Something Nice

The snacks tossed into the cell went untouched. For now at least. Xoff was in no mood to eat.

"They already know what they need."
"But hey,"
he continued, "maybe you want to correct a few mistakes before someone else does."
"I already know every name... every credit pocketed... and every lie spun,"

"You can keep playing silent and let the real law enforcement pick your bones clean for free... Was that really a weird ex of yours or just another lie to squeak out of some other form of trouble? Is taht why you came along so willingly after that?"

More than once Xoff bit his tongue to prevent from speaking.

Good cop/Bad cop only works with a second cop, ya little punk.
Is what he wanted to say. Instead he took a breath and sighed.

"I wonder if your husband knows about this..." he mused aloud, tone light, almost conversational.
He flicked through a few more pictures with the pad of his thumb, slow and deliberate.

"You have cute pictures..."
Braze tilted his head faintly, eyes glinting under the brig lights.

"If I were your husband..." he continued, voice a little softer, almost teasing, "I might be more than a little jealous if I came across this."

An annoyed furrow of Xoff's well-shaped eyebrows was the most he outwardly communicated. The intricacies of an interspecies relationship and the different types of love one can share was not a lecture Xoff was about to give - though he remained silent, the Padawan was getting to his nerves. Slowly but surely.

But it would get worse. A lecture on ethics was and philosophy was brought up on a holoscreen while the knight graded homework. They wouldnt have anybody to question because this Braze clearly intended to bore Xoff to death.

And then he saw Jobbi.

He sat forward, legs crossed. Soon, he was ignoring his surroundings entirely.

She was happy there. Even in her atrocious Sleemo shirt, she was participating with the other Padawans. Words fell by the wayside as Xoff focused in every moment Jobbi was onscreen, as if leaning closer would make the pixelated hologram clearer so he could see every microexpression. It was like watching her first steps, if she wasn't an 80-something year old slug. She was still sensitive, yet she managed to dry her tears and collaborate with the others. She had already grown so far beyond Whotto with emotional regulation.

Xoff's eyes grew glassy, a faint smile upon his lips. Even ifshe wasn't biologically related that was his daughter on the screen, and she was growing up before his very eyes.

Nothing else mattered. While his daughter was on the screen, he everything else fell into background noise.

 
Kai'el Brat "Guardian of the Light"






Braze noticed the way Xoff's attention locked onto the prerecording, but he remained quiet as he worked.
A few times, almost idly, he replayed short sections over again particularly around the moments when Jobbi and some other students spoke giving their thoughts.

The datapad clicked softly under his fingers as he finished the last grading notes, his posture loose, and unhurried.

Finally, Braze spoke again without looking up.

"She's doing good, y'know. Happier... safer..." A pause, the sound of him setting the datapad aside. "Better than good, really."

He let the words hang there a moment, folding his arms loosely across his chest.

"She's lucky," Braze added lightly, "to have someone who cares enough to help her toward a brighter future."

Another small pause. The background hum of the ship filled the silence between sentences. Braze's next words came softer, almost like a memory surfacing without permission:

"I didn't have that for a /very/ long time..."

His gaze remained distant, focused somewhere beyond the cell. "And when I finally did..." He sighed softly, "It didn't last."

For a moment, he hung his head slightly, the edges of his posture loosening.

"It's always the same... The ones who feel closest... slip through my fingers. Or get torn away."

Oh how he missed Jasper Kai'el Jasper Kai'el . . . For the briefest heartbeat, the mental shields Braze kept so tightly wound slipped, and a wave of emotion poured into the room like a crack in a dam.

Harrowing abject sorrow that was dark and bottomless filled with the weight of loneliness, betrayal, and grief so heavy it seemed to pull at the very air around him.

Anyone sensitive enough — even slightly — would feel it: the depth of the ache buried under all Braze's restraint.

But just as quickly as it appeared, the emotion was crushed back down, choked out as Braze's mental shields slammed back into place with brutal, practiced force.


[Gidgit]
Emotional irregularity detected! Initiating corrective protocols...
Recommended solution: power nap, application of moderate heat to core chassis, and diagnostic reboot.

"Yeah, well... not all broken things come with manuals."
With that, Braze shifted abruptly to his feet. There was a tightness in the way he moved , small, uneasy with a rare crack in the calm he usually wore like armor.

He didn't say a word and he didn't look back. He simply turned and walked out of the brig, leaving behind the battered datapad, and scattered items where he had left them.

The door hissed shut behind him, the soft echo of his boots fading into the ship's corridors.


[Gidgit]
He's... not usually like that.
Captain Braze, I mean. He's usually better at pretending he's fine.


[Gidgit]
Sooo... um... would you like me to start a playlist?
I can queue up some appropriate thematic songs! Like... 'Folsom Prison Blues!' 'Jailhouse Rock!' 'I Fought the Law!'


 
yOBUJrI.png





Outfit: Something Nice

Kid's got demons like the rest of us. Xoff thought, easily able to pick up on the wave of emotion before it was surpressed.

The droid tried to defend the Jedi, as if feeling emotions was an impolite thing, then offered to play some jizz or something. Xoff simply waved off Gidgit as if the past five times he'd tried hadn't been ignored and picked up the snacks and the jumpsuit from the floor.

Ill fitting as the clothing was, Xoff put it on, electing to keep the top half unzipped and tied around his waist. It had an austere, blue collar chic, sort of.

he agreed with the Jedi on one thing.

"She's lucky," Braze added lightly, "to have someone who cares enough to help her toward a brighter future."

That was all that Xoff could hope to achieve. Not only for Jobbi, but for her father too.

An idea popped into Xoff's head. One that shouldn't work, but he had some inkling somewhere that made him believe. Something about the way the gas station drink hissed when Xoff opened it. The crinkle of the snacks in bags that were more air than food.

"Gidgit, was it? Can you send a message? For legal representation."

It was a pipe dream, but it wouldn't be the first time the mad blue bastard had faked his death.

"Could you send a Message to the Duro Dan customer service line on Nar Shaddaa? Leave a message if you have to, just tell them 'Primrose needs a Lawyer'?" Then maybe he could get some words in without waiving his rights.
 
Kai'el Brat "Guardian of the Light"






A soft flutter-trill escaped from Gidgit's compact frame as he floated closer, tiny stabilizer legs ticking lightly against the table for balance before retracting neatly. His ladybug-like wing-shells gave a mechanical chirr-click as he opened slightly for ventilation, tiny spindly arms extending out with unnecessary flourish, more for theatricality than functionality before they started trying to pathetically 'clean up' the scattered mess of items.

This is when Xoff realized with weary dread, it would be the second time Gidgit had launched into one of these irritating protocol speeches, though this version was somehow even longer and even more unbearably enthusiastic.

With a buoyant flutter of his shell and a soft whirr-click, Gidgit's vocoder shifted into a bright, singsong tone:




djnmoa1-c73d4b58-cae8-43ab-b6bf-58aa6aaa00ec.gif

[Gidgit]


========= DETENTION ORIENTATION PROTOCOL =========​
► VERSION: 8.7.2 | STATUS:
[SYS]: GREETINGS, DETAINEE!
► I am Gidgit — your temporary Custodial Companionship Unit!
► Official Designation:
General
Integrated
Droid for
Guidance,
Interaction, and
Technical Support

► Core Responsibilities Presently Include:
  • Maintaining... ethical comfort standards
  • Ensuring... compliance with minimal violence
  • Providing... vital situational information

[INFO]: Please be advised:
► Your cooperation is deeply appreciated!
► You are NOT classified as a "bad prisoner" at this time!
► Current Compliance Score: "73%" (Acceptable Range)

[SYS]: Processing inquiry regarding external communication privileges...
[RESPONSE]: SHORT ANSWER: NO.

[INFO]: Long Answer Follows:
► You are detained under.... Jedi jurisdiction.
► Jedi are NOT classified as municipal police.
► No automatic.... "one free call" privileges exist.
► Jedi operations are guided by the Force, internal mandates, and "whatever seems wise at the time."
(Reference: Article 3, Section 14, Subparagraph 9)

[NOTE]:
► Ethical treatment includes... food, medical care, and inspiring conversation!
► Communication access is... NOT guaranteed.
► Permission issued solely at custodian discretion — strategic need, compassionate allowance, or momentary lapse of judgment.


[ALERT]:

In emergencies — such as active Sith plots, assassination attempts, or children receiving severed heads in shipping containers — communication may be restricted or prohibited entirely.

========= SUMMARY =========

NO CALL GUARANTEED
NO RIGHT ESTABLISHED
KINDNESS, PATIENCE, AND GRATITUDE HIGHLY ENCOURAGED


⚠ WARNING ⚠

Sarcasm, pouting, and excessive eye-rolling statistically reduce communication approval chances by 63.7%.


[SYS]: AUTHORITY ESCALATION INITIATED:
► As a Custodial Companionship Unit, I am authorized to manage comfort, morale, and information delivery.
► However, communication decisions must be escalated to Primary Custodian Unit — Designation: BRAZE.
► Processing escalation request... Standing by for superior officer input.

[SYS]: Estimated response time: unknown.
► Please enjoy this period of Enforced Quiet Reflection .

[SYS]: While you wait:
► Would you like to complete a short survey on your detainment experience so far?
► Estimated completion time: 47 minutes.

[SYS]: Optional Enhancement Activated:
Soothing Soundtrack engaged.
► Now playing: 'Peaceful Songs' audio track — Version 3..

[NOTICE]: Side effects may include mild irritation, existential dread, and spontaneous boredom. Relaxation effectiveness not guaranteed.






djnmo8e-d20890eb-0d8e-4b49-99b3-932b98b64be6.gif




[SYS]:
confetti.gif
Congratulations!
confetti.gif

► You have been preliminarily approved for Premium Detainee Status™!
► Premium Detainee Status includes :

  • One (1) extra pillow (comfort grade: substandard plus)
  • One (1) soft comforter (subject to warehouse availability)
  • One (1) additional beverage cube (flavor unspecified)
  • Access to Level 1 Holo-Games™: Pong Clone Edition (for recreational morale maintenance)
  • Optional 'Feelings Log' Access (emotional processing entries recorded for quality assurance purposes)
  • Priority Seating for Interrogation Sessions (front row experience guaranteed)

(Offer void where prohibited. Benefits non-transferable. Comfort improvements not legally binding. Emotional satisfaction levels may vary wildly.)




As Gidgit finished the transmission, he tilted eagerly in midair, emitting a soft, hopeful flutter-chirp, tiny legs dangling slightly as if expecting Xoff's full admiration for his thoroughness.​
 
yOBUJrI.png





Outfit: Something Nice

Xoff grew increasingly frustrated as the droid continued talking.

One thing did draw his attention, however.

[SYS]: While you wait:
► Would you like to complete a short survey on your detainment experience so far?
► Estimated completion time: 47 minutes.

"Actually..." Xoff smiled maliciously. "I think I would like to complete that short survey, one question at a time please."

He folded his arms and leaned back against the cell, opening a back of chips and began to snack. Loudly.

 
Kai'el Brat "Guardian of the Light"





TAGS: Xoff Chantin Xoff Chantin
didimtz-32984846-6a65-4aad-9ac1-5eea52f7d21f.png

didntb5-9276bce2-5c04-4ff6-9407-433727304654.png


A soft flutter-chirr escaped Gidgit's compact frame as he floated closer, his ladybug-like shell plates flexing outward slightly. His tiny gripper arms extended in a dramatic flourish.

With a quiet hum, he projected a neat line of hollow golden stars into the air between his arms
giphy.gif







"Please carefully consider your star rating selection!
Stars may not be refundable after submission!"



The tiny droid chirred again, wings fluttering with visible excitement.



"Reminder: Word count minimum for essay responses is strictly enforced!"

[NOTICE]: Survey participation is mandatory once initiated.
Responses will be archived permanently for quality control purposes.


[SYS]: Survey Session Initiated:
Temperature Mood Impact Essay
In 200 words or more, describe how the temperature of the room affects your emotional state.
Bonus points awarded for emotional nuance and creative metaphor usage.


As the holographic image stabilized in the air, Gidgit hovered eagerly, his shell plates flickering with gentle pulses of light, clearly awaiting Xoff's detailed, heartfelt feedback.
 
yOBUJrI.png





Outfit: Something Nice

200 words? Yeah, Xoff could do 200 words.

After all, someone has to tell the waiters that they got Whotto's order wrong and it sure as chit ain't gonna be the Hutt.

Xoff breathed in, raised a finger to the droid, and put his other hand on his hip.

"Oh, this is just rich. I get thrown into this sad excuse for a brig — already an insult, by the way — and what's the first thing I notice? The temperature is absolutely criminal. One minute it's like Hoth in here, the next it's hotter than the twin suns of Tatooine, and somehow I'm supposed to sit here quietly like a good little prisoner? Not happening, sweetheart. And don't think for a second I won't be filing a very strongly worded complaint to whatever glorified clipboard jockey the Jedi legal department. Basic sentient rights, hello? Just because I'm behind bars on this brig doesn't mean I don't deserve proper climate control! Meanwhile, the durasteel jaw over there just grades homework acting like they don't even see me — which, honestly, their loss. I'm easily the most interesting thing in this whole dreary ship. I didn't get captured by the Jedi just to be subjected to this amateur-hour hospitality. I am a Zeltron, darling — we have standards. If they expect me to sweat through this fabulous top or freeze my metaphorical lekku off, they have another thing coming. I demand a supervisor. I demand a thermal regulator. And while we're at it, maybe a proper pillow too — my back is killing me! I don't trust that prisoner incentive program you just spouted off to give anything half decent."

Xoff cut themselves off there. Complaining was something the Zeltron could do all day.

 
yOBUJrI.png





Outfit: Something Nice

Actually, kark that. Xoff was not done.


"Oh, perfect. Just perfect. As if getting snagged by some moody, silver-haired Echani kid with a metal jaw and a lightsaber wasn't humiliating enough, now I'm stuck in this broom closet they call a holding cell, talking to you — the one droid in the galaxy who probably thinks "customer service" is a brand of hydrospanner. Honestly, I deserve better than this. A lot better. First of all, let's address the obvious, because I know your optical sensors picked up the absolute disaster that is this climate situation. Is it policy to keep prisoners guessing whether they'll turn into a popsicle or a roasted nuna leg? Because if so, congratulations, you're succeeding beyond your wildest programming. One minute, I'm shivering so hard my teeth could power a small starship; the next, I'm sweating through my absolutely irreplaceable Zeltron-weave tunic. Do you even know how hard it is to get Zeltron fabric this far out in the Outer Rim? Impossible. Utterly impossible. And don't give me that whirring noise like you're logging my complaint. I know that trick. I talk, you pretend to care, and then you send my grievances straight into a black hole. Classic droid behavior. Second of all, where's the hospitality? I've seen better amenities in spice dens. Is it so much to ask for a refreshment? A chair that doesn't feel like it was engineered for maximum spinal trauma? Maybe — shocking concept — some decent lighting that doesn't make my flawless pink skin look like a bruised nerf steak under a freezer lamp? Oh, and while we're nitpicking the absolute circus that is my current incarceration, let's talk about the teenager. Yes, the teenager who somehow thought it was a good idea to play Jedi hall monitor and haul me in here like I'm some petty thief. Do I look like a common criminal? Look at this jacket. Look at these boots. You think someone who invests this much in their appearance is running spice or stealing freighters? Please. I'm a professional. A specialist. If anything, I should be consulting on their outfit choices, not locked up like yesterday's bantha fodder. And the attitude — stars help me — the brooding, the lectures, the righteous little speeches about "justice" and "the will of the Force." Spare me. If I wanted a lecture about life choices, I would've stayed home and listened to my cousin rant about farming communes on Zeltros. At least he served drinks afterward. But no, here I am, stuck with you — a glorified garbage can on wheels — while Junior Jedi runs off to probably sulk on a balcony somewhere, staring at the stars and questioning the "burden of destiny" or whatever it is angsty teenagers do when they realize kidnapping people isn't exactly a light side-approved activity. So, here's what's going to happen: You're going to log every single one of these complaints. You're going to recommend that whoever is running this operation receive immediate remedial training in prisoner care. You're going to tell the precious Jedi-in-training that next time, if they absolutely must abduct someone, they should have the decency to provide a decent climate-controlled environment, refreshments, a mirror, and — bare minimum — a comfy chair. Preferably with lumbar support. And if you don't? Well, sweetheart, when I get out of here — and I will — I am leaving the most scathing HoloNet review this side of the Core Worlds. One star. Maybe two, if the lighting miraculously improves. You have been warned."


 
Kai'el Brat "Guardian of the Light"





There was a soft mechanical flutter as Gidgit hovered patiently throughout Xoff's entire tirade.
As the rant continued, sprawling, sarcastic, increasingly aggressive, Gidgit's central photoreceptor began to light up, the tiny circle of illumination around it starting to spin slowly, gaining speed like a camera focusing.

disney-disney-plus.gif

[SYS]: Essay Recognition Mode Initiated.
► Preparing to archive detainee testimony for quality improvement metrics.

The spinning light quickened, and a soft high-pitched tone rose from Gidgit's chassis, like an old-world tape recorder whirring to life.

"Recording of your essay will begin after the beep."

A long, painful moment of silence... and then:


[BEEEEEP.]

Gidgit floated a little closer, as he eagerly awaited every word, completely oblivious to the fact that Xoff had already vented everything he had, missing it entirely, and now standing by as if expecting a brand-new, polished submission.

 
yOBUJrI.png





Outfit: Something Nice

Xoff waited for the beep, then loudly crunched chips in his teeth, chewing with his mouth open so the microphone could pick up every crinkle and infuriating chew.
Then he spoke again, while chewing - albeit without half the emotion of the first rant:

Crunch.
Loud crinkle of bag.
Crunch crunch.


"Oh, you've got to be kidding me, metalhead. You're telling me you weren't recording that whole masterpiece? Wow. Real professional operation you're running here. Real top-tier work. I'm so impressed. Honestly, I didn't think it was possible to have less competence than a drunk Kowakian monkey-lizard, but here you are, raising the bar."

Another obnoxiously slow crinkle of the chip bag.
Crunch.

Mmm. Yeah. Hope whoever has to review this loves ambient noise.

"Alright, let's start over, since clearly you need everything spoon-fed.
First off — and listen very carefully, Sparky — the temperature in this brig is a hate crime against basic comfort. One minute, it's colder than a Hoth divorce settlement, next it's hotter than Mustafar on laundry day. Pick a struggle."


Crunch crunch.
"Second — the accommodations? Tragic. Just tragic. I've seen alleyway dumpsters on Nar Shaddaa that had better seating. No back support, no padding, no stylish accents — it's like you want me to leave with permanent spinal trauma. You offering medical aftercare too, or is that extra?"


More slow crinkling of the bag, like he's trying to fold it into origami.
Crunch.
Sip of something that slurps obnoxiously loud.
Aahhh. That's the stuff.



"Let's not forget the teenager who threw me in here — our little junior Jedi prodigy. Oh, please. I've seen more gravitas from drunken Rodians at a podrace. All that brooding, the tragic hair swoop and ponytail, the little self-righteous speeches — it's like being arrested by the understudy for a bad holodrama with droid dubbed over. If you're going to kidnap people in the name of justice, at least have the flair to make it interesting."

More bag crinkling. Deliberate. Aggressive.
Another long, slow crunch.


"So, to recap, for your very obviously still glitchy recording system:

  1. Temperature regulation: zero stars.
  2. Accommodations: prison-chic disaster.
  3. Refreshments: nonexistent, rude.
  4. Host attitude: dramatic, ineffective, needs seasoning.
  5. Overall ambiance: depressing — would not recommend."
Crunch.
"You getting all this, R2-Discount? Or you gonna tell me we have to start again because your recording buffer can't handle my sheer level of fabulousness?"

"Because I can do this all day."
Big crinkle. Big smug crunch.
"Test me."


 
Kai'el Brat "Guardian of the Light"






[SYS]: Survey Session : Processing Participant Submission...


► Emotional Delivery: High Passion Detected
► Strategic Value: Low

Comment: Your emotional outburst has been categorized as 'High Passion, Low Strategic Value.'
This is common among detainees demonstrating difficulty with long-term planning.


► Snack Soundscape Integration: Excellent (minor intelligibility issues)

Comment: Strong emotional resonance achieved through live snack consumption.
Consider balancing chewing intensity with speech clarity for optimal emotional impact.


► Metaphor Usage: Creative (Expansion recommended for thematic cohesion)

Comment: 'Hoth divorce settlement' and 'Mustafar on laundry day' rated as vivid imagery.
Suggestion: Expand meteorological comparisons for richer thematic resonance.


► Narrative Structure: Nonlinear, Spirited

Comment: Feedback was highly spirited but structurally nonlinear.
Consider future submissions with an introductory thesis statement and segmented conclusions.


► Sass Coefficient: 6/10 (New personal record!)

► Politeness Factor: Critically Low (Achievement Unlocked!)

Comment: Congratulations! You have achieved the lowest politeness score recorded this cycle.
New personal best!


► Articulation Skills: Slightly Below Average

Comment: Articulation skills slightly below average for detainees of similar background profiles.
Improvement possible with focused practice!


► Cognitive Flexibility: Limited — Enthusiasm Compensates!

► Overall Feedback Categorized: Low Priority for archival.

Comment: Submission archived under 'Low Priority Feedback.'
Responses may be reviewed if supervisor morale is sufficiently high.






[SYS]: Congratulations!
► You have earned a Participation Certificate™ for Valuable Detainee Engagement!

"Good Effort! Proud of You!"





[SYS]: Warning: Submission flagged for "Excessive Sass."
► Supervisor review pending.
► Review outcome may affect Premium Detainee Points™ eligibility.



[SYS]: Additional Processing Complete.

[SYS]: Based on detected enthusiasm, detainee Xoff Chantin Xoff Chantin has been automatically enrolled in a Mandatory Follow-Up Feedback Session™.
► Scheduled for: 3 standard hours from now.
► Attendance non-optional.





[SYS]: Supervisor's Note:
Detainee feedback is a vital pillar of our continuous improvement culture.
► Your spirited engagement is highly valued!



 



It wasn't too much longer that Xoff was left alone with the enthusiastic little droid, trying his best to fulfill whatever jobs he thought he could. The occasional chirp or flicker of a projected screen filled the space with artificial purpose as he tried to dutifully fulfill the surveys.

The door to the security room hisses open, and the sharp sound of heeled boots on solid floor echoes from the entrance.

A man steps into the room, then into view, towering at 7'0", dressed in black attire beneath a long white cloak, cut with four narrow slits, two for his arms, and two higher along the back where large feathered wings slip through and rise, arching into stillness behind him.

Icy, cold blue eyes settle on the prisoner in silence.

In tow is a young man covered in violet fur, trailing just behind the towering winged figure. Long white hair cascades down broad-framed shoulders and along his back, spilling from a high ponytail that keeps most of the silken pearly white mane out of the way.

He shifts forward to open the door to Xoff's cell, using a key card wrapped around his wrist to access it. The panel beeps softly as the lock disengages. He crouches slightly as he steps inside the doorway.

His eyes briefly scan the scattered remnants of snacks littering the floor. Without a word, he leans down and places a comforter and pillow neatly on the bed, smoothing out the blanket, then adjusting the pillow again for good measure as he makes the bed like one would for a guest. One hand lingers at the edge of the mattress, gently testing its stability.

He reaches for a wrapper near the foot of the bed and picks it up between two fingers, folding it once before tucking it into a discarded bag and cleans up any other discarded mess to tuck in to the bag.

Moving across the room, he pulls open a fold-out table mounted near the refresher wall, laying it down with a soft mechanical click. He steps back and sets out two fluffy bath sheets from under his arm that he was carrying side by side on its surface, then adds a small paper bag on top of them, pressing it down lightly as if to keep it from tipping. Two folded washcloths follow, set beside.

His eyes flick briefly to Xoff again, though he has no real expression and offers no words.

He steps to a recessed panel and opens it, pulling down a second wall-mounted surface to form a small table. He does the same and pulls out a small bench next to the table.

"Roten," he says quietly, glancing toward the young man at the doorway. "Please hand me the tray. "

He waits for the tray to be handed over, then moves to the table he's just unfolded, beginning to lay out whatever dish or items were prepared with practiced ease.
 
Last edited:


"Roten," he says quietly, glancing toward the young man at the doorway. "Please hand me the tray. "

"Uh... sure thing boss," Roten frowned, handing the tray over.

They sure were treating this prisoner rather well. He hadn't known imprisonment to be cushy like this, not where he was from. Torture, truth serums, you name it. There were laws in place that dictated the ethics of imprisonment here in the Alliance, but that didn't make the softer capture of this criminal any more strange.

"So... what, are we here to interrogate him?" the Bursantian mused.


 

Users who are viewing this thread

  • Top Bottom