Past...forward... ends ?

[Ronin Wendigo]

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It was as if nothing nothing short of a conundrum....a mystery as much nothing less than perhaps something he had thought but never realize be something he had to be able actually face. Seeing as if nothing less his time spent with the elder Kashi was nothing more than that....a time that had left him on shaky ground with very little hope. Of even explaining nor for the most part ever know where to begin if he so dare wanted.For it all of it had been but nothing short of a blur of him being shown things in a place seem so close yet felt so far.


Expected to know when for the most part he did not....of things that was their heritage..Which for the most part had seem been lost at the very best scoffed off as nothing short of legend told in campfire or far flung planet beyond that of know space. In the vast uncharted regions simply know as wild space. Of time beyond time when before the thought of space travel ever cross any being mind, or when corellians in all their cockiness or guile set forth towards the hyperspace lanes. Where only the brave or the foolish dare tread far in fear of the behemoth creatures that roam the cosmos...purrgil.

That in the beginning he could help question the elder Kashi to himself...not so much his teaching nor words but that of the simple idea that form in his head. That of the question.....why? Despite all the bond of family and home he had that he had gone lost for so long as he did now as well. Question which himself could help to internalize......which at first he felt so certain was something he could not bear do.......but later on seem slowly come realize he himself began waver on. As was self evedent by the mear fact he seem lately finding himself doing to as well.

 

[Ronin Wendigo]

Where once he felt grounded and connected to the very universe he inhibited despite the fact he seem feel himself cursed in someways. Burden by a past and a heritage thought he knew not fully he'd been born into not chosen none the less. And yet despite all the set backs or looses he's somehow soldier on to continue on the fight. Getting down to digging his boots into the very nity gritty course earth where he found himself though not at the very heart or thick of the battle. Yet somewhere in the mix of things none the less.....take on the losses or hits as it came his way. Gain or loosing everything at the same time nothing as it seem on the surface and yet for all of it.

When the day came that he found himself in the proverbial depth of stare into the very abyss itself. That he found it stare back at him...to the very depth where when all hope seem fade that he somehow found a faint glimmer of hope. As all had seem slowly reveal him where after wandering the cosmos all by his lonesome that he somehow found family. With one's thought he shared nothing and everything with no connected with.

And with each passing moment he felt the anticipation of the wait of truly finding...truly knowing just within his grasp. That it all seem slowly fall apart for it seem all good thing came with a price....one which as he stood would been something far grater than he would know or expect. For as he stood at the knife edge that he felt himself being torn apart....between two greatest forces that one since time Immemorial faced,...that of love and duty.

For as much his heart loved those of whom he held so close to his heart....the very brethren he stood, fought and face stare death in the face with...with the family he now gain for whom he either shared a connection thru to bond of blood or heritage.

So did his hold on honorary his duty to the oath taken when as a boy he'd found himself taken in by his first master. Of the duty he swore as a Jedi to uphold....

Had and has as of late seem in a way not quite falter but none the less feel changed or leave doubt in his mind. That he felt himself slowly feel less grounded as much connected to the world or universe at large that he found his venturing there less and less frequent as much it had been infrequent....as slowly thought he dare not seem able to admit it. That as time passes so to the will to cling on the very existence beyond the relm of which he found himself in. Feeling the lull as much the pull of the void growing ever much stronger and tighter.