Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Private Past and Present


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Wearing: xxx
Tag: Hollis Orenn Hollis Orenn

Justice Lesan had always found ruins easier to understand than people.

Ruins could conceal the truth beneath centuries of dust, collapsed stone, mineral growth, and the violence of history, but they rarely lied. A fracture through old masonry could reveal the direction of an impact. Carbon scoring could preserve the memory of a battle long after everyone involved had turned to dust. A broken vessel could tell him who had lived somewhere, what they valued, who they traded with, and sometimes what they feared. Justice only needed patience, time, and a willingness to keep digging until the story began to make sense.

People were considerably less cooperative.

That thought followed him as he crossed the threshold of the Lesan home on Naboo. The house recognized him almost immediately, bringing the interior lighting up gradually while the evening beyond the windows settled into the deep blues and purples that came after sunset. The air outside still carried the softness of Naboo, warm and clean compared to the dry excavation site he had left behind. Justice set his travel case near the entry and looked down at the faint layer of dust clinging to it before deciding that Hollis would probably prefer he not drag any more of the dig into the house than he already had.

Normally, coming home from an excavation quieted something in him almost immediately. Naboo had become familiar in the way that mattered most. The house held Hollis, the twins, and the life they had built together far away from ancient tombs, forgotten temples, and the endless evidence that civilizations were remarkably talented at destroying themselves. Justice could usually leave all of that at the door.

Tonight, the weight followed him inside.

The first reports from Thyferra had reached the expedition team before his transport departed. The Sith had invaded. Alazhi fields were burning. Processing facilities had come under attack. Civilian and military casualty figures shifted from one transmission to the next, while every news service seemed desperate to publish something before anyone could verify whether it was true.

Justice had approached the situation the same way he approached almost everything else. He collected information, separated confirmed facts from speculation, compared reports, and refused to let the urgency of the broadcasts dictate what he believed. That method had served him well as an archeologist and even better as a Jedi Consular. The loudest explanation was rarely the most accurate one.

Then he had seen Judah's name.

The first mention had been easy to dismiss. The second had been more difficult. By the third, Justice had stopped pretending that he was reading the reports with any academic detachment.

Judah Lesan had been seen alive on Thyferra.

The claims were inconsistent enough that Justice should have remained skeptical. One report claimed his uncle had escaped Sith imprisonment. Another insisted Judah had been held by the Sith Empress herself. Several witnesses placed a Jedi matching his description near one of the refinery complexes during the invasion. The recordings that circulated afterward were grainy, distant, and nearly useless.

Justice had watched them anyway.

He had watched them several times.

His prosthetic hand flexed as he stood quietly in the entryway. The movement was subtle and almost unconscious, but the sensation that followed was not. Pain crawled through fingers that had not existed for years and settled into a palm that was no longer there. Justice knew exactly what caused it. His brain retained the memory of nerves, muscles, and sensation that the rest of his body could no longer provide. He understood the medical explanation well enough to teach it to someone else if he had to.

Understanding the reason never made the pain less convincing.

Justice rotated his prosthetic wrist slowly and waited for the sensation to pass. He had learned not to fight it. Resistance rarely accomplished anything except making him more aware of something he could not change.

The discomfort eventually faded enough for him to move deeper into the house.

Judah would have hated the amount of analysis Justice had already subjected the reports to. His uncle had always possessed a particular Corellian talent for deciding that hesitation was merely another obstacle best overcome by accelerating directly through it. Judah could walk into a disaster with a crooked grin and somehow make recklessness look like confidence.

Justice had never been built that way.

He had spent most of his life preferring libraries to battlefields and excavation trenches to war rooms. The Force had not revealed itself through some dramatic childhood display that left everyone certain he was destined to become a great Jedi. Justice had grown into his connection with it slowly, and the power had come later than many expected. Even when that strength finally developed, he never saw combat as the purpose of it.

Justice learned to fight because eventually knowledge required defending.

He learned to survive because the galaxy repeatedly placed him in situations where intelligence alone was not enough.

He became dangerous because circumstances demanded that he become capable of protecting the things he valued.

Those things were here.

Justice could feel Hollis somewhere deeper in the house before he heard her milling about. Her presence had become so familiar that he did not need to deliberately reach through the Force to identify it. Years together had woven Hollis into the rhythms of his life so completely that home had stopped being a place long ago. Naboo was beautiful, and Justice had come to love the peaceful landscape surrounding them, but the planet itself was not what made returning matter.

Hollis did.

The twins did.

Justice loved all three of them with a completeness that still surprised the scholar in him because there was nothing particularly rational about it. He could spend weeks carefully reconstructing the purpose of an artifact from fragmentary evidence, but there was no analysis required where his family was concerned. Hollis had become the certainty against which everything else in his life was measured.

That certainty made the reports about Judah more complicated.

Justice had already mourned his uncle.

There had never been a grave in the traditional sense, but Justice understood that graves were not always places where bodies rested. Sometimes people constructed them from memories because they needed somewhere to put grief that had no proper conclusion. Justice had accepted that Judah was gone because eventually there had been no other choice.

Now a handful of unreliable reports threatened to tear that acceptance apart.

Justice wanted to believe them.

That frightened him more than he wanted to admit. Hope required almost no evidence once someone wanted something badly enough. The Consular in him knew better than to trust it. The archeologist demanded proof. The Jedi insisted that emotion could not be allowed to replace judgment.

The nephew in him simply wanted his uncle to be alive.

Justice heard movement farther inside the house, and the tension in his expression eased almost immediately. He could not see Hollis yet, but he knew the rhythm of her presence well enough that a small smile touched his face before he realized it had happened.

Thyferra would still be burning in the morning. The reports would still be there. Judah would either be alive or he would not, regardless of how many times Justice reviewed the evidence tonight.

For the moment, Justice had come home.

He slipped out of his travel jacket, draped it over his arm, and followed the familiar sounds of his family deeper into the house.

"I'm home."

 
Motherhood suited Hollis.

It was a role she’d taken to naturally; not the struggle she’d associated with learning the ways of a Jedi. Though, it wasn’t that she no longer considered herself a Jedi… but things were different. Those days seemed like another life entirely. And the twins, especially Jade, always laughed at the idea of her on the battlefield.

Lately, the twins had taken to the idea of finding real masters of their own. According to Jade, she’d learn better from someone that she didn’t have to call mom. Hollis supposed it was true. Nearly teenagers, the twins were extra aware of what was embarrassing these days. Though, it was difficult to think of the children leaving to train. It was safe here on Naboo — their home.

Hadn’t the twins just been babies?

Hadn’t they just been toddlers?

Time refused to slow. Hollis knew that the twins were older now, and she couldn’t keep them from the galaxy forever. Still, the news of Thyferra didn’t help.

Hollis was glad that Justice would soon be home.

She had learned to weather their time apart, but she still missed him when he was away on digs. The twins did, too. Though, they all understood the why behind his work. It was important. And she never hid the fact that she was relieved that he was far from battle. Of course, there were risks that came with his work… but it was his element, being out there amongst the ancient ruins. That’s how she’d come to meet him, after all.

Her heart still skipped a beat when he was near. Hollis turned, knowing that he’d crossed the threshold. A quiet smile found her now that he was here. But something was… amiss. The children often joked that their mother was so attuned to them and Justice that she knew they were about to sneeze before they did. They weren’t wrong, either.

“Just,” Hollis said as she came around the corner.

A few swift steps brought her across the floor, where she embraced her husband. Her presence would say all the things she didn’t: I missed you so, I’m glad you’re here...

… what’s wrong?


Justice Lesan Justice Lesan
 


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Wearing: xxx
Tag: Hollis Orenn Hollis Orenn

Justice barely had time to set his jacket aside before Hollis crossed the room and wrapped her arms around him. He returned the embrace immediately, his prosthetic arm settling around her back while his other hand rested against her shoulder. For a few seconds, the reports from Thyferra disappeared beneath the simple relief of holding his wife again.

He pressed a kiss against her temple and closed his eyes. Justice had missed this more than he usually allowed himself to acknowledge while he was away. He had missed Hollis, the twins, and the ordinary rhythms of their life together. Coming home always reminded him how much of himself remained here whenever he left.

"I missed you," he said quietly.

Justice knew the question before Hollis ever gave voice to it. He could feel it in the subtle change in her presence and in the way she held him. Hollis had always been particularly adept at reading him, which made pretending that nothing was wrong nearly impossible.

He eased back enough to look at her, though he did not completely let her go.

"I saw the reports about Thyferra on the way home. I assume you have too."

His expression shifted as he considered how to say the rest. Justice had spent most of the journey home trying to separate what he knew from what he wanted to believe, and he still had not managed it completely.

"There is something else coming out of Thyferra."

His eyes remained on hers.

"It's Judah."

Even saying the name aloud made the reports feel more substantial than they had on the transport.

"They're saying he's alive."

Justice paused long enough for Hollis to understand what he had said before continuing.

"There are several reports now. Witnesses saw someone matching him near one of the refineries, and there is footage. It isn't particularly good footage, but I watched it enough times that I can't dismiss it."

Justice's prosthetic fingers shifted slightly against her back.

"I think it's him, Hollis."

There was still caution in his voice because Justice did not know how to approach something like this without it. He had already mourned Judah. Now the possibility that his uncle had somehow survived was forcing him to reconsider something he had long since accepted as settled.

"We thought he was dead."

Justice let the words sit between them. He did not try to decide what came next, and he did not start talking about Thyferra, rescue attempts, or what any of this might require from him. There would be time for those questions once Hollis had a chance to absorb the news.

For now, he was home.

Justice pulled her closer again and pressed another kiss to her forehead.

"I've talked enough about what happened while I was gone," he said, and a faint smile finally returned. "How have things been here?"

His gaze shifted briefly toward the rest of the house.

"How are the twins?"

Justice looked back to Hollis.

"And how are you?"

 
Hollis closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath, just taking him in. These nights, when Justice returned home, were always the best. And for that small moment, it was as if nothing else existed beyond the walls of their home. But that feeling was short-lived.

She felt her stomach drop for a moment, preparing for the worst. Hollis thought that perhaps Justice was about to inform her someone they knew had been lost on Thyferra.

But it was quite the opposite.

“Really?” she asked, reflexively.

Judah, returned from the dead. Her eyes grew wide upon hearing the news. She had watched Justice grieve his uncle, she had, too. Though she didn’t know him well, the jedi master had been very kind to her when she first joined the Order. He had disguised serious advice as a light-hearted sentiment, in true Judah style. And his words had eased some of the uncertainty she had felt back then. If anyone could defy the odds – it was him.

“That’s definitely some news,
Hollis said, and she gave Justice’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “If it’s him, I’m sure we’ll know more soon.” She nodded, knowing that Justice’s mind must be a storm of questions and possibilities. For now, she’d do her best to put it all at ease.

“Oh, you know,” she started, moving aside to let Justice move into the room. “Things have been… the usual. Good.” Of course, until the news of Thyferra had found her. It wasn’t as if war had suddenly come to their home, but the far-off possibility was still there. Hollis had done her best to quell the worry.

“We have teenagers in the house,” she said with a chuckle. “The twins are certainly acting the part these days.” She sighed, half exasperated, half content. “Jade has been insisting that she needs a swoop bike,” Hollis said, moving to sit on the couch. “And Jace has been sharing his endless knowledge of starfighters.”

It was a lot, trying to be the parent that encouraged their interests and being sensible. No, Jade could not get a tattoo, and Jace wasn’t ready to run off with the rebels. Still, it was fun to see the twins blossoming in their own ways.

Justice Lesan Justice Lesan
 

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Wearing: xxx
Tag: Hollis Orenn Hollis Orenn

Justice nodded slowly at Hollis' reassurance. She was right, and he knew it. If the man on Thyferra really was Judah, confirmation would come soon enough. There was no reason to let himself get carried away by every possibility before they had something more concrete.

"I know," Justice said, though the quietness in his voice betrayed how difficult patience felt this time. "I keep telling myself the same thing. I just never expected to have a reason to ask the question again."

For all the uncertainty surrounding the reports, hearing Hollis say it aloud helped settle some of the noise in his mind. Justice gave her hand a small squeeze before allowing the conversation to move away from Thyferra. The questions about Judah would still be there later, but he had only just walked through the door.

Justice could not help the smile that appeared when Hollis mentioned the twins. The conversation about Judah had left a heaviness behind, but hearing about Jade and Jace pulled his attention back toward the life directly in front of him.

The archeologist followed Hollis farther into the room, though he remained standing for a moment after she settled onto the couch. A quiet laugh escaped him at the mention of Jade's latest demand. It was so very... Lesan... of her.

"I suppose I should be grateful she waited until I came home before trying to convince both of us that a swoop bike is a perfectly reasonable thing for her to own."

He finally sat beside Hollis, settling back into the couch with the unmistakable relief of someone who had spent too many nights sleeping anywhere but his own home. His prosthetic arm rested along the back behind her while his attention remained on his wife. Justice drew her legs into his lap, running his free hand affectionately along the length of them.

Just could already imagine Jade's argument. She would have reasons, probably several of them, and at least one would involve pointing out that she was perfectly capable of learning how to operate a swoop safely. The fact that she might even be correct would only make the conversation more difficult.

"And Jace is still on starfighters," Justice said... also very Lesan of him... "I was beginning to wonder whether that obsession would survive another month."

His smile lingered. Justice had never wanted the twins to become copies of either of their parents. Watching their interests develop had become one of the stranger pleasures of raising them, even when those interests occasionally suggested that both children intended to give him considerably more gray hair before adulthood.

"I leave for a dig and somehow come home to one child campaigning for a swoop and the other prepared to explain every starfighter in the galaxy to me."

Justice turned his head toward Hollis.

"I am starting to think we made a mistake teaching them that they could be anything they wanted."

The humor softened as he studied her. Hollis had told him about the twins, but Justice had noticed the careful way she had described everything else as good. He knew her well enough to understand that good could cover quite a bit when she did not want him worrying from halfway across the galaxy.

His hand found hers.

"You told me how they are doing," Justice said. "You still haven't really told me how you are."

His thumb moved gently across the back of her hand.

"How have you been, Hol?"

 
Hollis couldn't help but chuckle when they spoke about the twins.

But soon, the conversation shifted until she was the focus. "Hmm?" she blinked when Justice asked how she had been doing. It was simply her nature to put others before herself, to make sure their needs were met before her own. It was natural now, as a mother, that the twins came first. "I've been perfectly fine," she said, nodding to reassure her husband.

But was she really?

Needless to say, Hollis was very content with the life she had. However, there was sometimes a rustling in the back of her mind -- something she couldn't quite make out. These days, it seemed louder. She didn't wish to keep anything from him, but there was something about her feelings she hadn't figured out how to put to words.

"Oh, I guess I've just been a bit worried." There, she'd said it. "The twins are getting older, and they've already started talking about leaving home." It was simply a fact of life. Would they do well with masters of their own? Would they stay safe? These thoughts were accompanied by something else. It was, at times, like standing on the edge of a cliffside, about to jump into the fog below and trusting that everything would be fine. In the current state of the galaxy, her own problem felt quite small and hardly worth mentioning. In fact, it was embarrassing to even say it out loud. In true Hollis style, her cheeks grew rosy.

She offered Justice a sheepish smile. "And I suppose... I'm not quite sure what to do with myself."

Justice Lesan Justice Lesan
 

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Wearing: xxx
Tag: Hollis Orenn Hollis Orenn

Justice watched the color rise into Hollis' cheeks and could not keep the corner of his mouth from turning upward. There were years between the young woman he had first met and the woman sitting beside him now, but somehow she still managed to blush when she felt exposed.

"You're not sure what to do with yourself?"

His hand continued its slow path along her leg while his expression shifted into something knowingly amused.

"I can think of several ways to help fill the time."

Justice let the suggestion sit just long enough to earn whatever look Hollis intended to give him before his smile softened. Flirting with her was easy. It had always been easy, even when neither of them had quite known what they were doing. What mattered more was the uncertainty underneath everything she had just admitted.

He turned slightly toward her and rested his free hand over hers.

"The twins getting older does not mean you stop being their mother. It just means the job changes."

Justice knew that sounded simpler than it actually was. He had his own concerns about Jade and Jace leaving home, about masters, war, and all the dangers that waited beyond Naboo. The difference was that Hollis had carried the daily weight of raising them in ways Justice had not always been present to do.

"And I know you. You have spent years making sure everyone else had what they needed. The twins needed you, so you gave them everything you had. That does not mean there is nothing left for you when they start needing you differently. Besides, it's not like we cannot find them capable masters. What about your friend Addy, or Cambria?"

His thumb brushed slowly over the back of her hand.

"You are still Hollis."

Justice let that settle before continuing.

"You are still the woman who was a Jedi before either of them existed. You are still the woman who managed to make an archeologist believe there might be things in this galaxy more interesting than dead civilizations."

His expression warmed again.

"That was a considerable accomplishment, by the way."

Justice leaned closer and pressed a kiss to her temple.

"Maybe you do not need to figure out what comes next all at once."

He eased back enough to meet her gaze.

"Come with me."

The suggestion sounded casual at first, but Justice's expression made it clear he had actually considered it.

"Not everywhere. I am not suggesting we abandon the twins every time I find a pile of old stones somewhere." His fingers curled lightly around hers. "But some of the digs are going to need more security now. With the war getting worse, the Order is already talking about assigning Guardian details to expeditions operating anywhere remotely exposed."

Justice glanced toward her with a faint smile.

"I happen to know a very capable former Guardian who might be persuaded."

The humor faded into something more sincere.

"It would give us time together, and it would give you something that is yours again. You would not be coming because I need someone to watch my back. I would want you there because you want to be there, and if I'm allowed to be selfish, because I do too."

Justice squeezed her hand gently.

"And if you decide that is not what you want, then we figure out something else. You do not have to know tonight."

He studied her for a moment before adding, quieter this time.

"But you are allowed to want something for yourself, Hol."

 
A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth when Justice responded, ever the flirt. His touch along her leg only made the smile grow. Hollis nudged him in playful reproach.

But the words that followed were sorely needed.

She nodded along, taking it all in. In teenage style, it seemed that the twins needed her less and less these days. But, no matter how they grew and changed, she'd be there for them. Her brows rose slightly when Justice mentioned two possible masters for the twins. She remained in thoughtful silence for a moment before responding. "You know, I think that's a good idea. It could work." Thinking of the twins with such great masters did put her more at ease.

"I think Jade might benefit greatly from Cambria's steady guidance," she started. "And Addy, well… she'd be perfect for Jace."

Hollis didn't know how the twins felt about training separately, but there was time to discuss it further.

"You are still Hollis."

It wasn't that she'd forgotten, but still – the woman she'd been before seemed like a different person. Hollis supposed it would just take time to discover the woman that she was becoming. Justice knew her best, and his words were like a balm to soothe her. After her placed a kiss against the side of her head, she shifted in her seat to rest against him. Her arms wound around his middle and her head found his shoulder.

"…You do not have to know tonight."

Indecision was an ever-present thorn. Hollis had never been one to jump to conclusions or make decisions on the fly; she needed time to settle her thoughts. The push and pull of self-doubt was less now that she was older, but it was still a struggle at times.

"We could try," she said, looking up momentarily before cuddling against him again. "It would be nice to spend more time together."

It was true.

"I'm sure the twins would appreciate the freedom."


Justice Lesan Justice Lesan
 

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Wearing: xxx
Tag: Hollis Orenn Hollis Orenn

Justice's smile deepened when Hollis settled against him and agreed.

"Good."

He drew her a little closer, clearly pleased by the answer even if he had tried not to expect it. The idea of having her with him again, somewhere beyond Naboo and the routines they had built around the twins, felt different now that it was no longer hypothetical.

"I think I remember how to share a field tent."

The corner of his mouth lifted.

"Although my memory may be unreliable. It has been a while."

Justice let the teasing linger before he pressed a kiss into her hair. At the mention of the twins appreciating the freedom, he gave a quiet laugh.

"And I am certain the twins would be devastated by having the house to themselves occasionally."

His tone remained dry, though the amusement in his expression gave him away.

"They are Lesans, after all."

Justice rested his head lightly against hers and allowed the silence to settle for a moment. He did not feel the need to fill it. Hollis had said yes, and that was enough for now.

"We can talk to Cambria and Addy when the time is right. Then we can see what Jade and Jace think. I would rather they choose the people who guide them than feel like we arranged their lives for them."

His hand found hers again and laced their fingers together.

"As for us, we start with one dig."

Justice turned his head enough to look down at her.

"If you hate it, I will graciously accept that my work is significantly less romantic than I have spent years pretending."

A faint smile remained before his expression softened.

"If you love it, then maybe we stop assuming that every time I leave, you have to stay behind."

Justice squeezed her hand gently.

"I would like that."
 

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