Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Private Parabola

Denon/Unknown
Afternoon/Cloudy

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Shai wasn't sure what was going on. The last thing she remembered was her fight against that Sith Lord and his lackeys on Coruscant alongside Aerith and that Imperial. She remembered that it was a hard fight, that they gave it their all and they likely nearly had it in the bag. But after that... it was blank. Like someone just took that file and dropped it into the recycle bin. Her eyes cracked open and she was drifting in space with not a care in the world.

It was... bizarre. She felt at peace. No conflict, no worries or doubts. It felt like everything was perfect. No issues with her and Aerith, no struggles against the Sith, no thinking of how she could give her mom the best years of her new freedom, just everything in its place and no responsibilities. She couldn't believe or accept it for even a moment. At least that's what she would have liked to do. In reality, she let it envelope her as she drifted in the peace of it all. Everything was fine. Her goal was insignificant, her life fulfilled. She deserved this. A smile appeared as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. She was happy...

**********​

What remained of Shai was floating in a bacta tank on every type of life support one could need. She needed them all. Both her organic left arm and her cybernetic right arm was gone, one leg gone and the other mangled. Her spine was broken along with her ribs. Her gut was slashed open by a lightsaber and her chest got the same treatment. The back of her skull was fractured and her eyes were riddled with shrapnel from the transparisteel visor that she used. Her body was broken and shattered. If it wasn't for Aerith's quick reactions and intuition to check the contacts on Shai's commlink, she likely wouldn't have survived. It was a miracle she survived at all.

She was completely unconscious, and thankfully so. Her little dream world was saving her from the horror, pain and confusion that reality could bring. At least for now she was fine...

Doc Painless Doc Painless
 
Doc Painless had seen a lot of really, really messed up patients come through his clinic. He'd treated a speeder crash victim who'd lost the top of his skull when his vehicle had hit the underside of a bridge - that one hadn't made it, and he still saw the guy's face (or what'd been left of it) in his nightmares sometimes. He'd provided amputations and cybernetic replacements to countless Denon factory workers, their hands or arms or legs smashed flat in some industrial processor or mangled by colossal skimmer blades. He'd been there during the massive earthquake that had rattled Seven Corners, trying desperately to save the battered people being hauled from the rubble.

In her present state, Shai could have given any of them a run for their money on messed up.

The Doc was frankly astounded that she'd survived to get to his clinic, given the extent of her injuries - and of what she'd faced while getting those injuries. The woman who'd brought her in had given him the quick and dirty of what had happened. Apparently she'd faced down a Sith Lord during the most recent Battle of Coruscant. In an old life, before he had worn this face and taken the name Doc Painless, the street medic had known a thing or two about the Sith. He had seen their power up close, closer than he'd ever wanted to. Little mortals like him didn't survive their wrath, pretty much ever. The fact that Shai had, in any condition, was astounding.

Now it was his responsibility to keep her alive. Easier said than done, he thought, glancing at her grimly.

Doc Painless prided himself on taking care of anyone and everyone who came into his clinic needed care... but this one was personal. It was Shai who had rescued him when the whole life he'd built on Denon had come tumbling down, even at cost and risk to herself, for someone she barely knew. She had helped him get set up in his little refuge in Smogtown, and had talked him through those dark days after his first kill, when he'd been forced to let go of the man he'd tried to be and let something new grow. She was the reason he was competent with a blaster, and the reason he hadn't put one to his own head and pulled the trigger months ago. He owed her. He owed her big.

Thankfully, the Doc wasn't in his little cargo container "clinic" down in Smogtown anymore. The resources and new location he'd gotten from Xan had allowed him to move up a few levels, and he'd quickly established a covert, street-level reputation as a reliable street medic. The gang that ran the block had tried to shake him down at first, but they had an agreement now; he paid his protection by patching up their guys, rather than in credits. In exchange for his above-and-beyond services, they tipped him off if any Corpos came sniffing around, giving him time to skip town for a few days. It'd worked out. He had a lot more space now, and far better equipment than before.

Maybe even better than what he'd had at his Baker's Row clinic, though he would always miss the place.

A great deal of that equipment, and many of his most advanced drugs and other supplies, were now at work keeping Shai alive. Her spine and her skull were the biggest concerns, in that order. If they were mangled beyond repair, nothing else would matter... and they were harder to fix than lacerations or lost limbs. Bacta could close saber wounds and sooth ravaged skin, but it couldn't un-twist a spinal column or re-grow fragments of bone. These wounds were things that had to be corrected with extreme caution... and a great deal of cybernetic replacement. Broken vertebrae, ravaged nerves, bits of skull, all had to be repaired and repositioned with metal.

The initial surgery, conducted with droid assistance within the bacta tank, took more than eight hours.

By the end, the Doc was exhausted. His precision guidance of the surgical assistant droids, wielding them remotely as if they were his own hands, was no less tiring than physically working on Shai with his own limbs... and even more stressful, for it was all too easy to make a mistake when the tactile feedback wasn't immediate. He didn't, though. The Doc had many flaws, and even more regrets, but he was a damn good surgeon. He unfurled Shai like an unrolling bolt of fabric, straightening what had been made crooked, strengthening what had been rendered broken. Three limbs were still gone, the last one mangled, and her eyes still blinded... but she would survive.

The Doc wanted nothing more than to collapse into sleep, but he couldn't do that just yet. He needed to know if all he'd done was worth it, if there was something still alive in his friend beyond just her organs. She'd suffered massive trauma, trauma that had affected her brain and nervous system. If she was braindead or brain-damaged in there, if he had spent eight hours saving nothing more than the basic cardiovascular function of a vegetable... he had to know. The bacta cylinder slowly rotated, depositing Shai on her side; laying her on her back or front wasn't particularly safe at the moment, as both were heavily plated and sutured. Then the bacta slowly drained.

He couldn't do anything more for her if she didn't wake. "Shai," he whispered, close to the glass. "Can you hear me?"

 
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Shai felt odd, like she was being moved around and... turning? Slowly things faded into black until finally she felt like she had control again. Only this wasn't the same. Things didn't feel right at all as she groaned. That feeling of content was gone, like it never existed to begin with as she heard the echoes of a muffled voice somewhere near to her. Another groan and a weak cough as she tried to look around. The voice became clearer to her as she turned her head in its direction. "... Doc? Whatareyou..." She slurred as she slowly woke up. A dull pain throbbed throughout her body and earned a slight whimper from the Shistavanen.

"Doc, what... why..." She tried to look around. She was sure that her eyes were open. "Why are the lights out?" She asked with confusion in her voice. She turned her head again but something didn't sit right. She didn't feel the rustle or weight of her mane like she usually would. She felt like she was lying down and on her side, but she didn't feel her arm against the odd bed. "Something's... Doc, what's..." She couldn't form a coherent sentence to save her life. Everything felt odd. She tried to run her hand over her head to feel her mane... but there was no feedback from her arm. She knew she should have felt her hand against her head by now. "Doc, put my arm back on." She demanded as panic started to rise in her voice. "And turn the lights on-" Another weak cough and a raspy voice cut her off.

After laboured breaths she found the will to speak again. "Doc? Doc, talk to me. What's going on? I feel... my lungs feel weird." She demanded. "And I... why can't I..." She tried to sit up, or feel around, or anything, but nothing happened. "Doc... what's going on? Why can't I feel anything?!" Her voice rose as she started to wiggle around. "Doc! WHAT IS GOING ON!? WHY CAN'T I FEEL ANYTHING!?" She shouted as much as her battered lungs would allow. She felt like tears were supposed to roll down her cheeks, but everything felt wet. "Why am I wet? I wasn't in water! I was on Coruscant dammit! WHY AM I WET?!" She fought as much as she could to try and sit up or do anything, but nothing worked. She felt incomplete, like everything was missing. Her words morphed into incoherent gibberish before a howling scream erupted, laced with fear and panic. "DAMMIT DOC, TALK TO ME!" She screamed at the top of her laboured lungs.

Doc Painless Doc Painless
 
She woke. Thank the Force, Shai actually woke up. There had been no guarantees.

It was a difficult wakening, as the Doc had known it would be. He hated that he'd even had to go this route, bringing her back to consciousness while still so mangled - blinded, de-limbed, barely stitched back together. It was a horrific thing to realize just how much one had suffered, to feel trapped in a broken body. But he could not spare her that pain. He couldn't just slap cybernetics on her willy-nilly, without her conscious consent. The "million-credit man" or "Inspector Cyber" waking up in massively augmented bodies without knowing they'd gone under the knife? That was holovid stuff. You had to ask your patients about that.

Some of them would decide they'd rather die. If they did, the Doc had to let them.

But Doc Painless doubted that Shai would be one of those people. She'd had cybernetics installed before, and was accustomed to them... though perhaps not to the extent that she was about to need to be. His only concern had been that the fracturing of her skull had left her a hollow shell, stealing the essence of Shai from her body and leaving behind nothing more than a malfunctioning biological machine, kept alive by his devices. That hadn't happened. If there was brain damage, it wasn't immediately apparent, and that was an incredible blessing. But now came the hard part, even harder than eight straight hours of surgery.

Now he had to talk her through what had happened to her, and what came next.

The Doc just let her shout for a moment, knowing that she was panicking, and wouldn't be able to hear him even if he tried to answer. After that last scream left her gasping for breath, her injured lungs struggling to keep up with her voice, he spoke. "Shai, you're with me, back in my clinic on Denon. You're safe now, but you were very badly injured." His voice was low, soft, gentle... but also firm. He had spoken to many patients over the years. He'd had to tell some that they would never walk again. He'd had to tell others that they were going to die, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. He had experience with the hard conversations.

"I've just drained your bacta tank, which has been keeping you alive. I had to work on fixing the fractures to your skull and spine, to give you a chance to wake up." He cycled open the transparisteel covering of the tube, satisfied for the moment that he didn't have to immediately refill it with bacta. Then he slowly, gently laid a hand on her shoulder, just above where her cybernetic arm had been. It was simple human contact, reassurance that he was really there, in Shai's suddenly dark world. "You pulled through, because you're tougher than anyone I've ever met. But we need to talk about what happens from here."

The Doc gave her shoulder a squeeze. "You know I'll do everything I can. I'm a specialist in cybernetic replacement, and everything I have is open to you. But... this is going to be a long process, Shai." He pulled up his diagnostic screen, frowning at the grim readouts that flashed before his eyes. The best thing he could do here was be blunt, matter of fact, and let her process it. Trying to sugarcoat something this serious just wasn't going to work. "All four of your limbs were badly damaged," he told her. "They're either already gone, or they're going to have to come off. And fragments from your visor blew back into your eyes."

He kept a hand on her, trying to anchor her amid the deluge of bad news. "It blinded you, Shai. I'm sorry."

 
After her initial panic, Shai calmed down slightly with heavy breathing and slight sobs escaping her. She focused on breathing as he gently explained what had happened to her. She heard something open up around her and felt a hand on her shoulder. She tensed up at the sudden new sensation. Apparently her spine and skull were hit badly... when did that happen? "My-my... no... I never... no!" She tried to look around, feeling the shift in air around her.

He went on to lay out the extent of her injuries. A raspy choke broke through as she laid her head down against the strange bed. Sobs soon followed as she tried to curl up, but her body didn't want to. Pain coursed through her back when she moved, earning a whimper from the broken Mandalorian as she attempted to relax to the best of her ability. "You're lying." She muttered. "You're lying! I... I was on Coruscant! I killed them. I-I... we were winning. Doc, stop kriffin' me around! I..." Another choke cut her off along with heavy cough. "I-I... I can't... I was on Mandalore. I was on Wayland. I-I... I never lost. NO!" She banged her head against the surface beneath her with a whine. It only caused a spike of pain in her head and a yelp from her maw. "Doc... don't do this to me." She pleaded before crying took any ability to speak.

"I can't... I can't lose. They must die. I'm not here right now. I'm... I'm on... I'm home. You're lying. I'm home. This isn't real. The mask isn't real. He isn't real..." She started to snicker through the tears and tried to hold her head. "Aerith's right here, she's right here I know it. The mask isn't real. This isn't real... Ma? Mama? Ma, don't..." Her snickering turned into full-blown laughter as her empty gaze stared straight ahead. "I'M NOT HERE, I KILLED THEM! I KILLED THEM ALL!" She exploded with an enraged voice, trying once more to sit upright.

After another wave of pain forced her to lay still, she fell silent with a morbid mix of giggles and sobs. After what felt like an eternity, she calmed down with a series of sniffs and whines. "Doc? You there?" She muttered. "I don't want this, Doc. I don't want this. Everything feels weird. I can't feel my arms or legs. My insides feel weird. Am I leaking?" She cleared her throat and spat something out of her mouth. "That tastes like blood. Doc? Help me. Please. What's going on? Don't leave me like this. Please, don't. I don't care what, don't leave me like this. Help me, Doc." She begged softly as she tried to look around.

Doc Painless Doc Painless
 
Seeing her this way... it hurt. She'd seen him at his lowest, sure, but he hadn't been in nearly as bad shape.

The Doc let Shai slip into rage and denial, babbling and thrashing, wearing herself out. He was sorry that he'd ever had to wake her to this living nightmare. Would it have been better to just slap a bunch of cyberware on her without even asking, so that she'd at least be something more like whole when she woke? Perhaps, perhaps not; it might be just as nightmarish to be stuck in a body someone else had chosen, with little about it that was familiar. Medical ethics made the decision for him in any case; he had to have her consent before he did anything more than the basic to save her life. He waited until she wound down, pleading and spitting up blood, his hand still on her.

"I'm not going to leave you like this," he told her, his voice low and steady. "I promise. I have what I need to help you, to make you whole again. But before I do what I'm going to do, Shai, I need you to show me that you understand." He pulled up a nearby chair and sat, his own cybernetic hand still gently but firmly holding the blood-matted fur of her shoulder. "I can't give you your body back, the one you know. But I can give you a body, a strong one. If you're willing, if you can be strong for me, I will put you back under. You'll go to sleep for a while, and when you wake up, things will be different. You'll be able to see, and to walk, and to fight."

He quickly outlined the combat-grade, top-of-the-line cyberware he had on hand, ready to replace her lost limbs and eyes, and to strengthen the rest of her ravaged body from spine to ribs to skull. It was some of the best stuff he'd ever worked with, made possible only by the generous donation of credits Xan had made to him when he'd been working on her body. Time to spread the wealth, perhaps. But he also had to present her with the alternative. "I won't lie to you. All of this... it will be an adjustment. It's going to involve pain and struggle. But it's the only way back to a fully functional life, one you can live on your own." He hesitated, struggling with his words.

"If... if you don't want to go through all that, I understand. I can... make you comfortable instead." Let her slip away, if she wanted.

He hoped that, despite all the pain, that wasn't what she wanted.

 
Shai was deathly silent as he spoke to her, reassured her and gave her the options she could choose from. The only indication that she was still alive was the raspy breathing, sniffs and occasional coughs. She wished that she weren't. But as he spoke, she listened to every word. Even when he was done, she didn't say or do anything for what felt like a very long time. She was left alone with her thoughts, forced to swim through them and pick apart her options.

The most immediate one was to simply tell him to put a bolt through her skull. It was cracked already, he wouldn't have much resistance. She didn't want to be some freak that was more machine than person. She didn't want to be like that. Losing her arm was too much for her already, now she didn't even have that anymore. She would never feel something again, never feel like a normal person again. She would be different for the rest of her life.

But with her alone with her thoughts, something grew in her. A deep, burning darkness. She knew what it was. She had felt that for years after Mandalore, after the massacre of her clan. That darkness always had a vague face, someone she always could work towards to. Now that face was far clearer. Through the darkness shone a face, a mask as white as bone with a familiar red symbol. Her darkness now had a face, a presence she would recognize. Her laboured breathing picked up as she started to shake with anger. She wanted to give in and let it end, but she would be making a huge mistake if she did. That darkness needed to be carved out and torn apart before she could lay her head down.

"Do it." She growled. "I don't care what it takes, swap everything out if you need to. If it's kriffed, you take it out and replace it. I'm not gonna end like this, I refuse to. I will not let this be the end of me." Her breathing was deep and sharp as she made her declaration. "Just... promise me one thing, Doc." she looked into the direction of his breathing. "If something goes wrong, put me down. If it doesn't go right, you put a bolt between my eyes and move on." With a sigh she laid her head down and waited for him to get underway...

Doc Painless Doc Painless
 
The Doc let her wait, let her be silent a while. He knew that the decision she was facing was more than anyone should be forced to make. Simply coming to grips with her situation, with what had happened to her, required a great deal of strength. The Doc had ducked in and out of a few firefights over the years, and had actively even participated in a few over the chaotic months when he'd been on the run... but he couldn't imagine the horror of standing toe to toe with a Sith Lord and being systematically dismantled the way it seemed Shai had been. Almost every inch of her had been mangled, the life-altering consequences of a battle against ultimate evil.

When she made her decision, he released breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

Shai was going to live. She had decided she would, and the Doc was going to make it happen, no matter what. "Okay," he said, giving her shoulder one final squeeze before standing. "I'm glad, Shai. I'm glad you're not letting this beat you." He cycled the bacta cylinder shut again, letting a gentle anesthetic fill the tube to ready his friend for surgery. They would never have let him do this in a formal hospital, of course. There were rules about operating on family members, and to him, Shai was family. But he'd starting breaking all the rules a long time ago. "And give me a little credit," he joked as she drifted off, though his voice remained sad.

"I'm pretty good at this. Nothing is going to go wrong."

The Doc had been going for eight hours just to stabilize Shai, and he'd been awake for hours before that, doing normal clinic work. There was nothing he wanted more than to go to sleep, to pass out and wake up as close to refreshed as his battered mind and body ever got. But he couldn't leave Shai to wake up like this again, and he couldn't just leave her knocked out, either. The only way out was through. A quick internal command sent a potent caffeine cocktail straight into his bloodstream, enough to keep him upright and fully focused. When he crashed, he was going to crash hard... but he was going to be finished by then. He had to be.

The mangled leg came off first; sawing through the pulverized bone was disturbingly easy, his tools meeting almost no resistance. Cauterize. Sterilize. Prepare. Each limb needed a cybernetic socket, a place for the replacement limb to interface with the body's nervous system. The one that had already been cybernetic needed a fresh socket, as the old one was too badly damaged. One by one he installed them, sinking little anchors into flesh and bone, lining up connective tissue, controlling the bleeding. He was lucky he had replacement plasma for Shai's species on hand, something he'd thought of long ago in case he ever needed to treat his friend.

Four lost limbs, four cybernetic ports, ready to receive replacements. Time for the other augmentations, to strengthen her wounded chest and spine. With the assistance of a half dozen little surgical droids he weaved bone and metal together, installing the potent, military-grade components he and Shai had discussed. He saved the eyes for last. He'd performed enough operations that nothing about bodies could squick him out anymore, but seeing his friend's ruined eyes still crushed a bit of his soul in a way that even her lost limbs hadn't. He carefully removed them one at a time, cleanly severing the optic nerve, discarding the shredded tissue they'd become.

Then, in with the optics, one by one, reconnecting those all-important nerves to each.

With a twist and a faint click, Shai's left leg snapped into place, the last of the four cybernetic limbs the Doc had installed. It had taken him just over six hours. His hands were shaking, his vision was blurry, and his head was pounding. He hadn't slept in over 24 hours, and the caffeine was letting him down hard. But it was done. Vitals were good, and the cyberware was all in place. Shai would never have her body back, but when she woke, she would be whole. The road to recovery, to adapting to her body (he estimated she was at least 75% cybernetic now) and relearning how to function, was still a long one... but he had given her the best gift he could manage.

Time to let the anesthesia wear off. It might be a while, so he could put his head down, close his eyes.

Just for a second. Just for a second... and Shai would probably wake to his snoring.

 
As the anaesthetic took hold, Shai slipped away once more. The grief, pain and guilt subsided as the broken Shistavanen slipped away for the operation. Any hopes and anxiety fot what was coming dissipated as her mangled form relaxed in the cylinder once more. There was a fading hope that she would be taken back to that space she was in... and to perhaps never emerge from it.

Only that wasn't what happened. The gentle drift through space was nowhere to be seen. A much darker surrounding came forth to grip her and force itself into her subconscious psyche.

She felt small, like she was a kid again. She was standing on a seat in her mother's ship, watching as officers stunned her and dragged her away. She wanted to do something, to grab a blaster and go shoot them before they could take her mother away from her... yet she did nothing. One of the officers stopped and looked straight at her with a look of disgust. His mouth moved as he said something but Shai had no idea what he said. Turning around, one of the old crew members stood there with the same look. "You are a coward. You allowed this to happen." She wanted to fight that statement, but no words came from her mouth.

The ship gave way and she found herself falling through an abyss. With a grunt she landed on hard ground with enormous walls of flame surrounding her entirely. The teenage Shai stared in fear as the flames grew bigger and crept closer to her... then simply dissipated. She was back in the village, with every building up in flames. Horror gripped her soul as her clan stood before her, their half-burnt and blaster-riddled corpses all glaring at her with that same look of disgust and anger. "You allowed this to happen! You let us die!" Their voiced boomed unanimously, making her curl into a ball on the ground. "YOU DID THIS!" They roared. She shut her eyes and covered her ears, hoping that she would escape this hell. It only worsened, when she felt searing pain grip her entire body.

Her eyes opened, with blood dripping around her gaze. She coughed up blood in her helmet and tried to pull her helmet off, but none of her arms were there. Her broken body laid in what looked like a burning building with flames licking at the exposed parts of where her limbs used to be. She wanted to scream in pain, yet there was no sound that came from her. Looking up again, a figure stood over her. That white mask and dark robes, with that crimson lightsaber in hand. "You are nothing but a failure." His horrid voice rumbled in her mind and ears. Rubble came down from above directly towards her. With flames covering them as they fell, they looked like stars coming straight at her... and she could do nothing about it. The closer they came, the longer it felt like it took for her to be hit. She kept trying to get up and run away which only caused more pain. In her back, in her head, in her chest. Her body refused to listen to her, only punishing her for even trying. The debris drew closer and a silent scream was all she could do until it all went black...

Her eyes fluttered open. For a few seconds she wasn't sure where she was. Whether this was real life or not. She looked around to get her bearings, seeing a figure passed out somewhere in a room with medical equipment all around her. It all came flooding back to her as she gasped, only to erupt in a coughing fit. A headache pounded behind her eyes as she coughed... but it felt weird. She tried to sit up and get off the bed, but her limbs didn't respond at all to her instincts. With a yelp she clattered to the floor with her eyes staring at two metallic arms. She tried to say something, but more coughing erupted until finally her funky lungs worked with her. A howling scream tore through the air in the room as she tried to stand up, only to fall over again.

Doc Painless Doc Painless
 
The Doc woke to screaming. Damn it all, he hadn't meant to fall asleep! He jerked to his feet, his cybernetic eyes struggling to refocus as the shock of his sudden waking ran through his nervous system. When they cleared, his gaze fell on poor Shai. She'd tumbled from the operating table, and lay in a heap on the ground, howling in pain and terror and confusion. It broke his heart all over again to see it, even if he'd known it was coming. Moving quickly, he knelt beside her, wrapping his arms around her to keep her from thrashing - and to show her, physically, that she hadn't been left alone. "Shai, Shai, it's okay. Shhhh. It's okay. You're safe. You're safe."

Eventually she would run out of oxygen, and the screaming would stop... but her distress, understandably, would not. Moving slowly and gently, heaving with his powerful cybernetic arms, the Doc helped (well, more dragged, really) his newly-augmented friend back up to the operating table, easing her into a seated position. He kept a hand on her so that she could sit straight without toppling over. "It's going to take some time to get used to... all of this," he told her. It was no surprise that she couldn't really control her limbs yet. She had so, so much new cyberware, and it worked differently in the brain than organic limbs did. She would have to relearn how to walk.

How to do everything, really. It was almost like being a newborn all over again.

The good news was that there were no early signs of cybernetic rejection. That was a risk with any augmentation, and when the augmentation was this massive... well, the risk was even higher, and even more dangerous if it occurred. He was going to have to talk to her about taking regular doses of medication to help her organic body adjust to all these new, foreign parts. "You're going to have to stay with someone who can help you for a while," he told her, "just while you adjust." Someone who could feed her before she could manage fine motor control of her hands. Someone who could steady her while she took her first steps on new legs.

"I can be that person if you want, Shai. Or I can help you contact someone else."

 
She felt someone wrap their arms around her and attempted to scramble away from them to the best of her abilities until she realized who it was. Hey cybernetic eyes ached and drilled at her mind, but she managed to identify the calming presence. Her screaming died down until she was a heaving mess on the floor, trying to hold onto him with her unresponsive arms. "Doc?" She muttered shakily. "What's going on? Everything feels off." She continued as he helped her back onto the bed.

Her metallic arms laid in her lap while her new legs dangled off the bed. She struggled to sit upright, her entire body feeling different as she stared at him with wide, glowing eyes. "All this? I..." She looked at her hands and legs, the metallic shimmer staring back at her. "Doc, I... it feels weird. My eyes... they're in pain. I got... I got this headache and... nothing works!" She rambled as she tried to move her arms, but they simply flopped around without control. She gave up on trying to control her body when he mentioned that she needed someone to take care of her. She glared at him with a mix of shock and betrayal.

"I don't need anyone! I ain't a baby! I can do this myself." She insisted as she attempted to stand up, only to collapse back to the floor. "I can do this myself! I'm..." She choked as she pushed herself up and fell back down again. "I'm not a failure dammit!" She roared as her arms dragged along the floor, unable to work as she wanted them to. "I'm not... I'm not a failure" She shuddered with a sob as she laid down in a heap. "I'm not a failure... I can do this." She blubbered with a sniff as tears rolled down her cheeks. She didn’t want to admit that she needed help, but a bigger issue was the entire situation. She tried once more to sit up, only to tumble over in a shuddering mess. ”What is wrong with me? What’s going on? Why-why isn’t anything... Doc, help me. Please, tell me what’s going on.” She pleaded with desperation. ”It all hurts! Everything hurts! Make it stop...” She heaved, burrowing her forehead into the ground to make the pain go away.

Doc Painless Doc Painless
 
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She wasn't taking it well... but did anyone who had to go through so much, all at once? The Doc felt his heart sink further and further as his friend thrashed and collapsed, railing against her fate. He didn't want to infantilize her when she already felt so small and broken, but the truth was that this was like a rebirth for her. She would be clumsy for a while, just like a child learning how to use its limbs for the first time. There was no getting around that. Her brain would adapt in time - brains could adapt to almost anything - but it would be a slow process. For a warrior like Shai, so independent and fierce, that time was going to be incredibly frustrating.

Agonizing, even. Full of grief as she mourned the way things had been.

She needed a therapist, really, to learn how to cope, and the Doc wasn't one. This went way beyond bedside manner; in a traditional hospital setting, the operation would have been one of the last times he saw the patient (if not the last), and someone more qualified would have taken over for this part. That doctor, not her surgeon, would have walked her through the steps of physical therapy and mental recovery. But this was the story of medicine in the underlevels of Denon: that level of care just wasn't available. Beneath shining spires whose denizens attended fancy private hospitals with gleaming floors, people had to learn to make do without.

The Doc was part of making do. That had been his role from the beginning.

The veteran street medic bent down again, helping Shai into a seated position and then sitting beside her on the floor. He wasn't worried about that, in spite of Shai's still-healing incisions; he kept this place clean enough that you could eat off of any surface, though most who saw him at work on some speeder accident or barfight victim wouldn't dare. "You're not a baby or a failure, Shai," he said gently, supporting her with one arm around her shoulders so that she didn't fall over again. "You went toe to toe with a Sith Lord, and you lived. Not a lot of people that can say that. But after something like that..." He paused, choosing his words carefully.

"You've got a new challenge ahead of you," he finally told her, "and it's a challenge worthy of someone who fought a Sith and survived. It's about re-learning and re-adjusting. Your body doesn't know what to do with all of this hardware yet. It doesn't respond to your brain the way you're used to. And that's going to take time." He sighed, squeezed her shoulder. "And that's the other part of the challenge. Patience. Coping. I'm going to help you get through this, but you're going to need to be patient." Reaching up with his other arm, he grabbed a spray hypo from his table of surgical instruments and held it up to her nose.

"This will help with the pain. Shut your eyes for now. They need rest, time for your nerves to adjust." He depressed the button on the spray, wafting mist toward his patient. It was a potent blend of painkiller and anti-rejection drug, keeping her body from panicking at the intrusion of so many foreign elements all at once. The stuff would weaken her immune system, so he was going to have to keep a careful watch on her, and on who got near her, at least for a few weeks. That would give her time to struggle toward recovery. She would need to re-learn how to walk, how to grab objects... how to see. It was a long road ahead of her.

She would be strong again eventually, stronger than ever before, but only if she was willing to try.

 
Doc helped her battered form to sit up on the ground before joining her. She leaned against him as he wrapped an arm around her, her shaking form at least not toppling over again for the time being. His words were kind and reassuring. He managed to make her feel a little bit better as she stared dead ahead with her limbs draped out in front of her.

"I don't wanna be patient, I want to walk again. Run again... at the very least, be able to hug a person again." She protested through her tears. He was right. Patience was going to be a problem for her, but it was the only way through this. Patience and determination. "I'm going to walk again." She proclaimed softly. "I'm not going to let that karking excuse of a life form be the end of me." She glanced to him when he told her to close her eyes.

With a nod she did as he told and inhaled the odd medicine into her cybernetic lungs. With her eyes closed, it felt like the strain and headache was dissipating a little. She rested her head against his shoulder and let out a long sigh. "Thank you, Doc. For real. I'm never going to be able to repay what you did for me." She muttered as she felt the medicine take effect. The aches throughout her body faded as she started to relax and feel rather sleepy. "I'm afraid, Doc. Of going to sleep. I'm afraid I'll see his face again. Be back on that street again." She leaned more into him as she took a deep breath. "If I fall asleep, please inject me with something so I don't dream." It was less a suggestion and more an insistence.

But even with her fears, she couldn't stave off sleep as it crept up on her. Eventually her sniffs and sobs died down and was replaced with gentle breathing as she nearly fell over into his lap. At least she would have a peaceful sleep this once...

/End thread

Doc Painless Doc Painless
 

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