Private Palpitations

[Kyra Perl]

Aftermath of Korriban-- Nida's retrieval​

"Help! Help!" Kyra's shrill scream echoed down the landing ramp, spilling over the icey grounds of Midvinter. Of all the places to take Nida for life support, this was the furthest. Distance meant little when Nida's very life laid on the line. There was no point bringing her to Commenor if the healers there couldn't help her. No, Nida's condition was too severe for simple bacta or lay on hands. This was a matter of the soul, and only an experienced grandmaster could reach her.

Or rather, ex grandmaster.

Thurion Heavenshield was sent the message, but it did little sooth the panic the tore through Kyra like a wild animal. Nida was limp in Thirdas' arms, no life to the cheeks that had shriveled up. She looked small-- a literal husk sucked dry of nutrients and life.

Kyra stumbled erraticly down the ramp, moving aside boxes so Thirdas could walk without issue.

"It was just force light-- It was just force light!" And yet, the fallen sith didn't even look alive. Nida hung to the barest threads of life, unresponsive, mind and body, to the world around her. Tears slid down Kryra's face, the girl clawing aside any bodies that had amassed to reach the familiar healer. "I can barely feel her," came the desperate report, grief racking her very soul.

Had she killed her sister?​

Thirdas Heavenshield Thurion Heavenshield and the unresponsive sack of potatoes who will not be writing Nida Heavenshield

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

The King of Midvinter had only been back for a couple days following his prolonged offworld travels, which had begun with his participation to liberate Voss months ago, when he received word from none other than Kyra and Thirdas. All it said were the words; "We've found her. Coming home."

The details of his youngest son's arduous mission to find and rescue Nida from the clutches of the Sith had been kept to a minimum. All he'd been told was that Nida was taken on Yavin, and that Thirdas was going after her. That's it, that's all Thurion ever needed to know. Were their roles reversed, there would have been no lengths to which he'd been unwilling to go to save his Coci.

All day he'd spent by the south gate of Heavenheim awaiting their arrival, cancelling or postponing any events or meetings no matter how pressing. A wagon was prepared with hay strewn about its floor to accommodate Nida for the short trip to the Heavenshield homestead, and upon it sat a worried King looking up at the stars while ordinary folk walked on by ignorant of their sovereign's strange behaviour.

As soon as the Sting Ray appeared through the clouds and came in for a landing, Thurion lept off the wagon and rushed to meet them at the foot of the extended ramp. Kyra cried out, panicked and guilt-ridden, as the Jedi Master placed a hand upon the barely conscious Nida's forehead.

"We must hurry. Get in the back, we're taking her home!"

Making sure Nida was comfortable amongst the hay, while Kyra climbed aboard Thurion took a moment to embrace his boy. There would be time for a proper reunion later, he just needed to feel him in his arms.

"You take the reins, I'll get in the back and look after the girls."

The lone horse pulling the simple carriage behind it thundered through the streets, forcing any pedestrian to throw themselves out of the way. While tending to Nida, Thurion looked over at Kyra looking absolutely distraught. He reached for her delicate, pink hand and held it firmly.

"Your sister is going to live, you hear me? She's fighting it as we speak. She's strong; she's a Perl."

Nida Heavenshield | Kyra Perl ​

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra jerked back from the touch. "Just help her already!" She bellowed. It would be a lie to say Korriban did not sit inside her in that moment, feeding off the fears and inner turmoil.

She had done this. She had faced down her sister's pain and she had delivered her judgement without mercy. She was evil. She curled into a ball, and for the first time since the night of Myrkr, she sobbed. She wanted none of his attention. None of his time. She watched over the tops of her knees as worked with Nida, tears streaming angrily down her face.

Her mother was going to kill her. She deserved it.

She was the last one off the cart, her whole body jostled from the chaotic ride to the family home. She didn't care. She stood stiffly, blood rushing to the limbs she ignored as she followed the funeral precession party inside. She barely made it through the door before she had to turn away again. Her head tucked into her metal arm as she let out a wave of distraught sobs.

She's strong; she's a Perl.

"But she's not," she told no one, her voice breaking. Nida had made it such a point to tell her. That's not my mom. I'm not a Perl.

Well then. How was she going to survive? Thurion was wrong. She screamed, kicking the door jam against the pain.

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

He worked the reins hard, urging the pair of horses to practically gallop through the streets towards his childhood home. There was no care given to pedestrians in his way; they would either get out of the way or risk getting trampled. Time was of the essence; they'd already spent enough of it leaping through hyperspace just to get here.

Not even waiting for the wagon to come to a full stop, Thirdas leapt off to clear a path for his father to carry Nida inside. There wasn't time to revel in seeing the old homestead again after so many months spent in constant danger.

"Use my old room," he told his father, watching him march up the familiar staircase with his beloved in his arms.

By then there was a loud slam as Kyra kicked the front door shut behind them. She'd been a complete wreck since Korriban, slipping ever farther into self-loathing as they'd neared Midvinter.

Thirdas approached her as she sobbed, knowing the last thing she wanted was more attention drawn to her.

"Hey. Hey, Pinky," he placed his human hand upon her shoulder, skin against skin.

"You're being too hard on yourself. There was no way for you to know this would be the outcome. We did what we set out to do, all that time ago. We brought Nida back. Dad's the greatest healer I know of, he'll restore her in no time."

Gently he tugged at her shoulder, making her turn to face him. His thumb caressed her cheek to mop up one of her tears, then put his arms around her, holding her tightly so that she would not wriggle out of his embrace. He would bare the brunt of her emotions, one last time as their mission came to a close.

"Don't keep it tucked away anymore, Kyra. Just, let it all out. We did it. We're home."

Kyra Perl | Nida Heavenshield ​

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra tried to jerk back. They both knew what he was doing. He compensated for the rejection he knew would come, locking her down and holding her tight.

"No, I can't, no!" She sobbed. She thrashed against his chest, her hair whipping with each shake of his head. She clawed at him, not unlike a wild animal trying to break free as she hit ineffectively against his chest.

"I can't-- I won't- Nida." Her grief undid her, the fight going out as he just.... held her. A wash of grounding calm sank through the empath's bones. Her legs went out, her screams turning to cries of anguish as he held her together. That was cheating

She couldn't do this. She couldn't face a world without Nida. She could live in a reality where-- how was he so calm? Why was she like this?

She sank to floor, clinging to him.

This couldn't be how it ended.

"I'm sorry," she uttered, the words falling through her on repeat. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. She's yours to-," she acknowledged, for the first time in their time together. Her fingers dug into the arms of the brother in law that might no longer be.

It was a like a whole future had been stolen from them both. She curled inwards, the hole growing as she came to face what that might look like. "Oh force, what have I done. I liked your family." Came the childish statement, grief boiling down her feelings into four silly words.

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

Thirdas slumped to the floor as Kyra's legs ultimately buckled, still holding her as they now lay on the floor together. They were both exhausted -- physically and mentally, sure -- but above all emotionally. Ever since that horrid day on Yavin when it had all gone wrong, neither soul had felt anything but pain, fear, and despair.

And yet they'd had to stay strong, if only for the sake of the other. Both broken souls shouldered the other, like fellow soldiers on a shared battlefield.

He let her vent, even abuse him to a small degree, until what remained was the quivering mass of a Zeltron girl missing her sister.

"It's not your fault, Pinky. None of this was ever your fault."

He stroked her red hair while she sobbed her heart out, keeping his own emotional state in check for her sake.

"We've been through hell together and come out the other side. You've proven yourself over and over again. We've cared for one another, looked out for one another. You're my baby sister, Kyra. Regardless of what the future brings, I will be your brother. If you'll have me."

Leaning forward, Thirdas placed a tender kiss upon her head.

"I'm not going anywhere," he echoed the words he'd offered her in the wake of the devastation of Myrkr.

Kyra Perl ​

 

[Kyra Perl]

Raw sobs racked through her, his words humbling her. They could have had something wonderful.

Him. Nida. Their family. She had rejected the notion for so long. Now she grieved the very loss of it, her fingers digging into the arms of her brother as if he was about to slip away.

This wasn’t the ending she pictured. This wasn’t the happy ever after.

It was hell.

“Go,” she croaked, a measure of control reentering her voice. “Be with her. My mother needs to know- Yula-“

She rubbed roughly at her face, trying to erase the trace of her break down. She still felt raw, like a single breeze could crack her, but this wasn’t the time for pain.

Nida still held a pulse. Their family needed them. She tried to untangle. She tried to stand up. Legs were not built to hold the weight on her shoulders. She took a page from his book, her lip wooblong against what she withheld. She held his gaze, a burst of moisture building on her lash line.


You would have been a good one. Brother in law.

“I’ll be up soon. Promise. Call me if...”

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

He didn't want to go, like she told him. He didn't want to leave her like this, in the state she was in. It was clear to anyone with eyes the poor girl needed comforting; he just wasn't the one to bring it to her. There were others present who could, however.

"Okay, I'll go," he respected her wishes once they were back on their feet. Part of his worried that once he'd let her go she'd just crumble all over again.

He held onto her hand, metal versus pink skin, only letting go once he'd backed out of reach. Having reached the bottom of the stairs, he looked over his shoulder back at her.

"When Nida wakes up, she'll want to see her baby sister again. And I think you need to see her too."

He didn't know why he felt the need to tell her this. Perhaps he was worried Kyra would simply disappear, too guilt-stricken to look upon her sister ever again. Both Perl girls were in such a frail state; one physically, the other emotionally.

"I'll be just upstairs. Call you if there's a change!"

The wooden stairs creaked and groaned with each step as he bound up them, to take up position at Nida's bedside.

Kyra Perl ​

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

An hour went by.

Having finally succeeded in stabilising Nida's critical condition, much of the remaining work was left up to her. As a healer, even one so proficient as he, Thurion could only do so much to bring people back from the brink of death. There were more invasive methods he knew of that could force her back to consciousness, if only briefly, but such methods would only serve to drain from her what little lifeforce the girl yet possessed at this stage.

No, he would not risk it. Nida's recovery would take time, weeks at the very least, until her physical form would allow her total freedom of movement. Having Thirdas present at her bedside, talking to her, might hasten her recovery, if only slightly.

Satisfied with her current condition, Thurion made his way downstairs where his son had left the youngest Perl sister.

His sleeves rolled up, he used a towel to wipe his hands and forearms from the cold water he'd used to dab Nida's face and forehead, as he looked around for a pink head of red hair.

"Kyra? You down here?"

He'd been warned about her fragile emotional state. That only made him want to find her more.

Kyra Perl ​

 

[Kyra Perl]

No.

Except she was, but she wanted the answer to be no. She sat against the wall tucked besides the stairs, her knees to her chest. He simply had to leave the final step and turn right to see her-- pink form hiding in the shadow. From there she could watch all come and go, the frantic pace of the steps above and below telling a story that she didn't want to face herself.

The energy in the place started to calm now, but the edge... the edge remained there. In the building and in her heart.

She looked away from Thurion, not wanting to dive into what she felt coming.

"I know," was all she said. "My mother's on her way. She'll need a room. Popsicles too. I left her away from Korriban, she'll be picking her up. She likes mice."


Of which her ship now had plenty.

Whoops.

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Surprised to find her so close by, Thurion was given pause as he laid eyes on her. She was not the same girl he'd giften cookies on their last meeting, yet she was barely any older. Still much too young to have to experience what she had gone through.

He knew first-hand what it was like being thrust into chaos before your time.

Saying nothing, he merely sat down beside her against the wall in the cold shadows, a giant beside the small pink person. He didn't try to put his arm around her for fear she would not accept his comfort. He just sat there.

"It will be done," he simply replied, as if Kyra was the one in charge.

Resting his hands in his lap, he started twiddling his thumbs for lack of having something better to do. Time went on, minutes of silence feeling like hours. Then finally, he felt the need to speak. He would not allow this young girl to spend the rest of her days torturing herself needlessly.

"I was seven years old when I lost my older brother. The first time," he corrected himself.

"We grew up in an orphanage together, after spending the first five years of my life on the streets. Pelagon, a backwater world many lightyears from here. One day, the orphanage was set ablaze because our elderly caretaker had neglected to pay tribute to the local crime boss. My brother and I had been sent to the market to pick up groceries, only to find our caretaker dead on his own threshold and the other children trapped inside the burning cottage."

He too now pulled his knees to his chin, knowing he would have to relive the horror of his youth before he could offer Kyra the point of his story.

"The heat was unbearable, but no more unbearable than the painful screams of the other kids. We tried our best, but we couldn't get them out. By the time their voices were silenced, the roof started to cave in on us. My brother, he... grabbed me and forced me out the window before he too was silenced. A day later, I was found half-dead in the gutter by a Jedi Knight."

He forced a pained smile as he glanced over at Kyra.

"The Will of the Force," he wiped the beginnings of a tear from his eye before it could manifest.

"In the end, though, I got to see my brother again, through an unlikely series of events too long to recount in one sitting. And we both got to be reunited with our father, for a short time."

Shifting where he sat, he stretched his legs once more, crossing them. Only now did he reach for her hand, gently as if handling a delicate flower.

"I lost my brother once, and spent a long time thinking I would never see him again, and that I was to blame. In the end, the Force led him right back to me, and I to him. You and your sister are no different; she will be returned to you, and you will love each other again as you once did."

Thurion then reached past her, behind her pink ear, before revealing to her the contents of his open palm. A pair of cookies.

"Here, Child. One for you, one for me. Don't tell your mother."

Kyra Perl ​

 

[Kyra Perl]

Kyra sat silently, at first content to accept his company as it was. She knew he meant well. She knew he just wanted to see her okay. She just felt so raw. Like her nerves were on fire. His deserved empathy for his story. He deserved a response that wouldn't leave him worried. She couldn't give it, every bit of his attention felt like suffocation. She just wanted to scream. At him, at Nida, at the Force. She was so angry.

It frightened her.

She swallowed hard, eyes snapping down to the pro-offered cookie. She stared at it for a long moment, biting back the bratty urge to reject him. She thought twice of it, his pain from his story still sitting in the edge of her mind. Her mechanical hand reached up, going to pluck it away. The gears sieged, abruptly tightening and crumbling into pieces. She jerked back in shock, expression catching in a mix of confusion and embarrassment.

"...I-I'm sorry. That wasn't--I think it needs a tune-up. I didn't- I'll- get the broom." She jolted to her feet, the color not returning to her mortified features.

It wasn't the result he was hoping for. She seemed set on running for the hills.

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

"No, Kyra," he protested while getting up himself, albeit far less agile than the Zeltron teenager.

"Leave it. Mice will come clean it up overnight, and in return Bib and Bub will have plenty of hunting to satisfy them. I should thank you," he offered a faint smirk, taking the broom off her hands. While he had her there, he took her left hand and turned it over, palm facing up, and placed the remaining biscuit in it.

"Listen. I know you're hurting, little one. Anyone with a good heart would in your place. You may not forgive yourself today, tomorrow, or even a week from now. But forgive yourself, you must. It's the only way things will go back to how they were for you and your sister."

Taking a step towards her, he gingerly put his arms around her, stroking her back.

"If you need to run, figure things out, then run," Thurion would then whisper past her ear. "I'm not going to hold you here against your will. I will explain to your mother when she gets here. But you owe it to Nida to see her at least once before you go. And, you owe it to my son after all you two went through. He cares about you a great deal, you know."

He maintained the embrace, hoping to at least alleviate some of her fears with that most basic of human gestures.

"Do you want me to let go?"

Kyra Perl ​

 

[Kyra Perl]

"Yes," she uttered tightly, her voice barely audible through the cracks of pain. She had seized up under him, unwilling to receive the gesture or his words. Tears threatened to pinch at her ducts, the moment simply too much.

She couldn't do this.

She weaseled out of his grip, the once affectionate clawing at her skin as if she could tear off who she was and leave it behind. She didn't want to feel anymore. Her things-- his things-- everyone's things! She scrambled back a step, but the distance did little for echo of his pain lingering on her tongue. He was right, she needed to go figure herself out.

"I'll-- I'll be back," was all she could promise-- his offer a life vest among a storm of emotion. With no further words she turned from him, breaking for the fresh air of the cold winter. She meant it, she would return to him.

When she had answers.

Or Nida was dead.

It was all she could think to herself as scattered across the cobble stone, hot tears pouring down her face. What do you do with an almost dead sister? How could the force ever want this to be?