Private Ordinary World || Acceptance

[Jackson Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Valery Noble

Change was the only constant life had to offer. At least that was what Jackson heard many Jedi say on several occasions. He had done well with teachers willing to help him with specific skills, but the young Lesan did not have a designated master. Not in the sense others did. Judah, his uncle, had intervened and made some kind of agreement with Romi Jade . It had gotten the young padawan instruction at least, though he had not been thrilled about the idea that his Master Jedi Uncle had to pull strings for him.

How pathetic.

Coruscant had been the kind of environment where Jax had been comfortable. He could hide in his mediocrity without being noticed. Average and ordinary were the kind of things which kept the eyes of the Jedi Council from rolling over him for assignments too often. That was a good thing because Romi always seemed to have plenty of work for him to do when he was not training.

This was one of the few moments he found to himself, and for some reason he had managed to end up in a training room. It should have been the natural inclination because he was a Jedi, but the irony went deeper than that. He was there because he was a Lesan. The thought brought a smirk to his lips, one which was too much like his uncle’s and far too Corellian for his own good. Jax took to the center mat and started on the patterns and forms of the kata Judah had been teaching his family since learning it from his master. This was how he centered himself, it was one of the few things which kept his frustrations from turning into anger.

His temper would be his downfall.

With each passing movement, Jax let go of the rejection he felt. Not even one master had selected him. It was simply what was now, but he could still feel the sting of that moment when he thought about it.

Unpredictable.

Undisciplined.

Uncontrolled.

These were labels and words which had been used near every time another master refused to take him on. If only they could see him now, what he had become. Jax could show them that he was not wild, unruly, or lazy. They would see the Jedi he was becoming.

“LOOK AT ME NOW!”​

The shout had been unexpected, but as Jax finished the kata and took the closing stance, he evened out his breathing.

Jax found his calm.

He found his center.

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber
Tag: Jackson Lesan

It was early in the morning at the Jedi Temple and Valery finally had a day without needing to teach classes. It wouldn't stop her from getting up early though, so to get her day started, she had quietly retreated into one of many training rooms at the Temple. Even the greatest warriors in the Galaxy needed to maintain their skill and endurance with consistent practice, and she was no exception to that rule.

Surrounded by training droids, two violet blades ignited on each end of her double-bladed weapon, before she let herself fall into the flow of the Force. Without it, no person alive could weave themselves through the chaos the droids unleashed, but Valery moved with almost flawless effort. Whichever bolts she didn't dodge were swept away by one of her two blades, and one-by-one, those she reflected began to take out the little probe droids.

Until none of them were active anymore.

Her weapon disengaged with a heavier sigh, and Valery raised a hand to wipe some sweat off her brows. Satisfied with her performance, she was about to transition to a new exercise. But that's when she heard a Padawan shout in a training room nearby, and it caught her attention. It wasn't the first time she experienced an outburst in this part of the Temple, but she couldn't simply ignore it and move on.

She left to check in on the student.

"Everything alright here?" Valery asked after sliding open the door and stepping inside to look at a unfamiliar face. It was rare for her to not have met the Jedi she ran into here, but there was still something familiar about him.

His presence.

 

[Jackson Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Valery Noble

Was everything fine? The shout had certainly come from somewhere, but that did not mean Jackson was not doing okay. It did not mean he was either. There was a passion within him which Jackson could not deny, but a good Jedi was not supposed to be ruled by it. He was at constant odds with what he knew he should be and who he actually was. This was the struggle of a person who did not know who they were, not fully. Maybe Jax wasn’t sure that he could be himself and still be a Jedi. One thing was true, the boy had yet to reconcile the two.

Jackson nodded his head.

“I’m fine.”

The statement was mostly true, though if the master Jedi who walked into the room wanted to accuse him of lying she would also be correct. Why should he bare his rejections when he had accepted it as what it was and what had been? Jax was determined to deal with this as any Lesan would, on his own. Whatever he couldn’t explain or deal with he would just push down until he could. No one needed to know of the conflict which raged a war inside of him.

Jackson returned to the opening stance of the forms he knew. Now that he was calm once more, he felt the need to cycle through them again. If Valery knew Judah as well as many assumed she did, she would recognize the family they belonged to.

“I cannot sit when I meditate, and sometimes the best way to deal with what’s inside is to expel it when no one is around. I’m sorry if I disturbed you.”

A small nod was given in her direction as the movements continued.

“I’m headed to Jakku as it is, so this will not be a regular occurance.”

Was he escaping? No. Romi was rebuilding the enclave on the desert planet, and Jackson was helping her to do so. It was not voluntary, but it had not been forced either. This was the path before him, and Jax was willing to see it through the it’s destination. The ordinary life of a Jedi required such things, and Jackson wanted what sense of normalcy he could attain. Just because no one had been willing to take him on without Judah’s help did not mean he had to allow it to make him different than anyone else.

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber
Tag: Jackson Lesan

"You didn't disturb me," Valery assured him after she had looked at him for a moment longer, and allowed her senses to focus. There was a lot more to that shout than he was willing to share, but she didn't expect any Jedi to be open about such things to a stranger. If he wanted her to know, he could always find her whenever it was convenient to him. But while she wasn't pushing that subject, she did want to have other questions answered.

"Jakku? You must be one of the Jedi helping Master Jade out there, then," Valery said with a smile. Romi was one of her best friends in the Galaxy, and they had worked together to build up the Ossus Temple after Jakku had been attacked. So this was some news that brought joy into her life.

Perhaps she'd have to travel there and help out as well, if time allowed it. The Mandalorians were on the verge of starting a new dangerous conflict, after all.

"You're one of Master Lesan's relatives, are you not?" Valery then asked, clearly a little curious. "I don't believe we've met before, but he's a friend of mine, and we've worked together a few times."

 

[Jackson Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Valery Noble

He did not disturb her? Then why had she come into the room to see what was going on? There was some level of disturbance. Would he comment? No. Jackson was smart enough to keep his mouth closed on the matter, even if he knew she was there to investigate what she heard. His shout was what drew her in, and they both knew it.

A nod was his initial answer to the other question. It seemed she knew Romi, and what she was doing with the enclave on Jakku. Someone had to rebuild, and it was something which was right up the alley of his master.

"Cortana and I have been going back and forth with building supplies. The training room was open and I haven't been focused as of late…"

He trailed off without finishing the thought as he kept moving through the progression of the forms. Which seemed to be familiar enough to know he was related to Judah. She was a friend of his? Jax was not about to interpret what that meant. She had called him Master Lesan which likely meant it was professional. Knowing his uncle though…

The thoughts were quickly pushed out of his mind. It was silly to reduce his uncle to certain proclivities. Judah did not seem to mind. The shadow had always been quick to embrace anything which covered up the intimate details of his personality. Judah was not often vulnerable or transparent which was part of being a shadow the younger Lesan supposed.

"He's my uncle. His younger brother is my dad."

Jax came to the closing stance.

"I'm Jackson," he said as he turned to Valery. "He helped me connect with Romi when none of the other masters wanted to take me on as their padawan."

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber
Tag: Jackson Lesan

"I'm glad you two are helping, I'm sure Master Jade appreciates it a lot," Valery said with a smile. "But what's disturbing your focus? Just the pressure of it all or something else?" She wasn't going to pry if he didn't want to talk about it, but she liked to think that she was quite approachable, so she spoke with a comforting tone and maintained a smile. If he wanted to talk or even needed help to figure out what was happening, she'd be more than happy to offer her assistance.

But she also understood if he'd rather figure it out on his own or with the help of someone more familiar. She wasn't going to judge him either way.

Valery then chuckled when he confirmed her suspicions and nodded, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Jackson. I'm Master Valery Noble," she said with a dip of her head to introduce herself. "I didn't know Master Jade had taken on a new Padawan, but sounds like you've found yourself a solid Master."

"Has the training been going well?"

 

[Jackson Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Valery Noble

“Stress mostly.”

The answer was not untrue. There was a lot to account for with the moving of supplies to rebuild the enclave. The Jedi Master still pressed to get an answer, but Jax was not inclined to tell anyone until he talked with Romi. Just because this one seemed to be caring and approachable, she was not his master. He should have known the name Valery Noble, but Jackson had to admit that he had been on Jakku for too long to know the hierarchy of the Jedi Order. He did not even know that Valery was an important figure.

“Well, she did not take on a new padawan per se. Judah asked her to when no one else seemed willing.”

That was it if Valery was listening for anything. Jackson could not believe he let the words slip out of his mouth. Fortunately it was said in such a matter of fact way that it may not have betrayed him. This was what he was, however, an afterthought to most, and a favor to Judah for some. The one thing Jax had going for him was that Romi did not treat him that way. She believed in him where others had not, and yet that was not good enough for Jax.

He had to prove them all wrong.

“The training goes well. Once I grab hold of a concept it seems to be cemented. Some come easier than others, and I am a slower learner at most things.”

He smiled at the master.

“Though, I suppose the pace of learning is not what matters.”

It was a genuine thought. At least Jax was confident in his own ability to learn. His problem did not stem from what he could or could not do. For some reason others did not want to teach him, and the mystery as to why was as frustrating as the rejection.

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber
Tag: Jackson Lesan

"No one was willing?" Valery frowned at the idea. She was aware that there were often more Padawans than Knights or Masters to train them, and there was very little that could be done about that. The Jedi offered classes and a lot of experienced Jedi offered private training to students who weren't their own Padawans to make up for it. But an unwillingness suggested there were Jedi available, but simply did not accept him as their Padawan.

"I wish I had heard about the trouble sooner. Perhaps I'd have been able to help - the Jedi here are often available to at least offer enough training to not stagnate. Our only real problem sometimes is just the lack of Knights and Masters, but growth is always a slow process."

Which he seemed to agree on too, when he mentioned that the pace of learning did not matter. She smiled and nodded in agreement before looking around the room for a moment.

"Are there many Jedi on Jakku able to help? When Master Jade and I settled on Ossus, we relied heavily on Jedi from the NJO or the Silver Jedi visiting to teach when we couldn't. But it has been some time since then. Perhaps a similar arrangement would help too. I see no reason that Jedi shouldn't be sharing their knowledge with others, regardless of which Temple they call home."

 

[Jackson Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Valery Noble

He shook his head. Jax did not expect the Jedi to understand. There were times when a padawan struggled in finding a master to mentor them. Whether it was fit, or the fact many sensed too much conflict inside of him, they all had their reasons. Judah’s was the only one Jackson truly understood. His brother had fallen to darkness, and he had been Judah’s pupil. Jax would have never wanted to put his uncle under the pressure it could bring. Romi had been a good fit anyhow, but Jackson still had trouble letting it go.

“In the end, Judah helped guide me to Master Jade, so there is nothing to be done anymore.”

Jax quickly moved on from the subject. It seemed that the Master was interested in the enclave on Jakku, though her questions were more suited for Romi herself. Jackson just shrugged.

“I would not know. Her training methods are unique, as you know. For now the structure itself is in need of repair, and CJ and I have been making several trips back and forth for supplies. Getting the place up and running seems to be the mission for now.”

He smiled as walked toward the wall to grab a loose towel. Jackson wiped his face before placing the cloth into a nearby hamper for used and dirty rags. He studied the master for a moment, still determining how open he wanted to be with her. They would likely not interact much since he would be spending most of his days on Jakku, so why get to know others too terribly well?”

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber
Tag: Jackson Lesan

"That's a good mission to have," Valery said with a smile regarding the Jakku Enclave. Whether Padawans, Knights or Masters, Romi was going to need every bit of help she could get. "We've recently had Obroa-Skai join the Alliance, and the planet also has an old Jedi Academy. We're planning to restore that one too, so it'll be interesting to see all these temples of old make their return." Years ago, the Alliance had restored the Temple on Ilum and her old Enclave on New Cov.

Then Coruscant was rebuilt after the Maw had destroyed it.

"If Jakku needs any help or supplies, we'd be more than happy to offer it. We're all Jedi, after all." Valery then watched him wipe his face with a towel and offered another smile. In a lot of ways, he reminded her of Judah, and it made her wonder if he was like this when he was younger.

The lack of comments was already a plus.

"When are you planning to head back there? If you don't mind, perhaps I'll join you to see how things are coming along."

 

[Jackson Lesan]

Wearing: xxx
Tag: Valery Noble

Jackson smiled. He could see why his uncle liked this one. She was kind, and as much as Judah wanted everyone to believe he was superficial and kept his desires on a crude and surface level way, the master Jedi was always more than what he seemed. He supposed he needed to adopt the same attitude, after all, once Judah decided to retire, if that was even a thing, there would be no Lesan Shadows. Jaron was supposed to be… but…

..he fell…

It was always in the back of his mind. If his brother had fallen, would he? It was why Judah had refused to train any family from that moment. He could no longer be responsible with that burden where family was concerned. Maybe it had been their particular side of the family could not handle how close to the dark side a shadow got.

“You don’t think you’re expanding beyond a reasonable reach do you?”

It was a valid question. The Galactic Alliance and the New Jedi Order were so large that Jackson wondered at what point they would reach their limit.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong. I am all for restoring these historical places, but history also cautions that influence can be expanded beyond its point of effectiveness to where sheer force of will and a show of strength is what maintains it. I don’t mean to be contrary, what Lesan really ever does, but at what point does all this make the Jedi the very thing they fight against?”

Maybe the question was for his own peace of mind than it was for anything else. He was still young and working through things. Romi’s methods of training were not as hands-on as some others. Jackson was left to work certain things out for himself, and he was okay with that.

He simply nodded when she asked to join him.

“We have another shipment leaving tomorrow. If you wanted to accompany it, or ride along, I am sure Master Jade would be delighted to show off what we have accomplished so far.”