Approved NPC Order Troopers 1st Battalion

[Varloc]

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

• Intent: To serve and protect
• Image Credit: none
• Role: To fight for The Order of the Force
• Permissions: none
• Links: None

GENERAL INFORMATION

• Unit Name: Order Trooper
• Affiliation: The Order of the Force and Darth Varloc
• Classification: Infantry
• Description: This unit is the most Elite of the common infantry. They were made to be Varlocs personal Battalion, as well as line Infantry. The unit wears grey armour with blue markings to show what battalion they are. This battalions troopers were chosen because they all are very disciplined and do not question orders. Even when off duty they dont cause much trouble.

COMBAT INFORMATION

• Unit Size: Large
• Unit Availability: Uncommon
• Unit Experience: Veteran
• Equipment: Basic, weapons armour, and support equipment. They also have armoured assistance by Mark-1 battle tanks.
• Combat Function: This Battalion is made of generalists, they do good in most common fields of fighting. They are especially good when it comes to tactical missions, like going behind enemy lines.

Strengths:

• Good soilders, veterans
• This unit is a general unit so they can change plans when new things happen.

Weaknesses:

• This unit has no training for in space combat, but they do have boarding training.

HISTORICAL INFORMATION
This unit was formed for a personal unit for Varloc. This unit was made out of soilders that has had fighting experience before. This unit was created mainly to be like republic strike forces. This unit was made to end a battle to attack (or defend) and end the battle quickly.

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Varloc Hello there! Nice submission you've got. I just have a few comments that could help us tighten it up a little before we get this approved

In General Information, for Description, you've written that:

Description: This unit is the most Elite of the common infantry. They were made to be Varlocs personal Battalion, as well as line Infantry.

This… Is not really a description. What does this squad look like, visually? Are there any notable items on their garb that make them stand out or recognizable as the 1st Battalion Troopers? How do they behave both on and off duty hours? Is there companionship among them? There is a lot that can be told here, as Codex is more than just to say 'this thing exists'. Get wordy, go wild with it. The only limit is your own imagination!

In Combat Information, you've written:

• Unit Size: Large
• Unit Availability: Uncommon

According to this char from the NPC Unit template, a unit that is Large and Uncommon can use equipment that is made at Minor or Mass Produced levels, nothing smaller than that. The Mach-1 faction Transports are produced at Limited production, which means this unit can't use them.

So you have two options here;

1. Either change this unit to either small & uncommon, medium & rare, or something smaller than either of those as per the chart.
2. Remove the transports from their equipment list or use a different transport.

Additionally:

Combat Function: This Battalion likes to fight any way. They were trained for anything that comes in there way.

Again, you need to get more wordy here. This basically does not tell us anything, and no squad is made as "trained for anything". They might have a broad array of things they are trained for, but absolutely not anything or everything. Especially not when you later mention in your Strengths that this is a general unit. Typically, general units are good at many things but masters at none. If you want something that is stronger than that, you're going to have to explain a lot more than that in your submission.

And last but not least, Historical Information also requires more than two sentences. Codex is all about using the words to enhance people's imaginations as they read your stuff. For that to happen, we need more content.

Please tag me back once these edits are done

 

[Varloc]

Fixed
Scherezade deWinter

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Varloc Thank you very much for those edits! This looks much better Before I approve it, would you like to fix the formatting? It's gotten fudged a little bit. I could also fix it for you.

Let me know what you'd prefer

 

[Varloc]

Sure I you want to do it.
Scherezade deWinter

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Varloc All right, I've edited the formatting. Haven't changed a single word. Please go over this and let me know it's okay, then I can move this submission into the approved folder

 

[Varloc]

Scherezade deWinter thanks, and I'm done

 

[Scherezade deWinter]

Varloc Approved!