One Day He'll Tell You "I found you at a diner."

[Avalore Eden]

Directly following Diana Moridena's memorial.

She hadn't waited. Hadn't stayed to watch the pyre burn. Avalore Eden didn't even have time to spare a proper goodbye to what was likely her only friend left: [member="Marakai Al'Orren"]. She ran from that funeral, not walked, and shut the door of the Moridena's home so forcefully it had shaken a picture from the wall and smashed the frame on the floor.

Crying for all the years worth of tears she'd never spilled until now, Avalore gathered her things in a moment of frantic desperation and left Kiffu. By the time she was in space her face was red and sticky with drying tears but her resolve had never been more firm. It was time to do what should have been done back on Coruscant. Time to make amends for all her floundering and indecision. Time to follow through on the choice she'd made when she'd learned all those months ago that she was pregnant.

Her ship was not big, but it was spacious enough for a Jedi Healer, her month old baby, a Caretaker droid and a piloting-savvy body guard. Her ship was not fast, but the speed in which it left Kiffu and the remains of Moridena behind were enough for a moment of relief. It wasn't high tech, but it got them into hyperspace, en route to Corellia where once-upon-a-time Avalore only dreamt she knew what it was like to be a Jedi, only imagined what the Force was all about.

McPuff burbled in her repulsor-crib, pawing at the star and planet mobile hung overhead, wide blue eyes taking them in with a glint of curiosity. Avalore sat off to the side, watching the tiny infant with a distinct look of absolute terror on her face. She couldn't look long, more tears were crowding her vision, but now it was just crying for the sake of crying. The feelings inside were too jumbled and too toxic to call them any singular emotion. Eventually she lay on the bench on her side and rested fitfully.

"Miss Avalore," Turak her bodyguard was standing over her sometime later, "Miss Avalore we have arrived at Corellia."

Avalore blinked, eyes crusted and red, and sat up, "How far is the Adoption Center?"

Turak did not say anything for a moment and glanced towards the cockpit of the ship, "We are not there. There was a problem with the ship during entry, I was forced to land at the closest station. The Center is...very far away."

"What do you mean very far away, Turak?" Avalore was on her feet now, "Like... a few hours far away or on a different continent entirely far away? There's a lot of definitions to very far away."

"We will need to fly there, Miss Avalore. It will take all day to repair the ship, we can leave as soon as it is done," Turak looked slightly uncomfortable. Perhaps he sensed the impending doom of the situation.

"Turak I can't... we can't... I need to do this now. Don't you understand I can't sit here all day, I have to do this now. NOW. Before I change my mind, and I can't change my mind. Don't you understand this doesn't work. These things don't work for Jedi. I can't have her - she needs to have a choice Turak. She needs sunlight to grow. I made a plan and that's just how it has to be!" There was a lot of frantic gesticulating and brown hair flying. Avalore began to pace, her face white, "I don't feel good."

Turak held his tongue but finally offered, "You should eat something. You haven't eaten in two days. There's a diner nearby, I'll take you there."

[member="Jorus Merrill"]

 

[Nej Tane]

Nej was bored. Not the usual bored - this was more like solitary confinement bored. He was sitting in a dinner, spending money that he was supposed to pay back - but how on Earth could he pay back that much? Not like the Hutts were going to just wipe away that much money. He leaned his head on the stainless steel top, and watched as a waitress came up to take his order. He just pointed at something on the menu, not even looking up at the woman. The Corellian food selection was good all around, so he didn't really care what he got, he was just hungry. Blinking, Nej turned and saw some woman ([member="Avalore Eden"]) who had looked like she just sat through some awful boring event, maybe a funeral or something like that.

He leaned on the counter, rubbing his temples, scheming and conniving again. He was tired, he was always tired now. He hadn't slept, always worrying about bounty hunters or mercenaries coming to stake his head on a pike, or worse, threaten him with it, or the occasional reminder that it was going to happen. He just needed that big score, that big money-making opportunity that he could exploit somehow. He waited for food, rather impatiently. He was an impatient, greedy man - what good was a diner with slow service?

 

[Jorus Merrill]

[member="Avalore Eden"] [member="Nej Tane"]

"I swear by Mungo Baobab, kid, you're gonna like this."

Mara Merrill's pout achieved proportions normally reserved for superweaponry.

"And you know I only invoke the name of Baobab when I'm dead serious."

"Not hungry." She shoved the plate away. "Want 'benes."

"I can get the waiter to put some tomo-spice on here and make it taste like Karkan ribenes. Will you eat it then?'

"No."

"So let me get this straight. You're hoping to last all the way to Contruum on an empty stomach? Because we're fresh out of rehydrate tomo-spiced Karkan ribenes. All we've got on the ship is bedjie spores from the survival pack. You going to eat bedjies? Or you going to eat this?"

"Want 'benes."

"This place doesn't serve ribenes. What it does serve is this. You saw how fast your mom and I ate ours. It's tasty stuff. You'll like it."

 

[Avalore Eden]

Seated in a booth just a few tables down, the Jedi healer, her Icarii bodyguard, the Caretaker droid and the infant child sat in a silence so thick they could have sliced it, spread marmalade on it and eaten it for breakfast.

Avalore wasn't feeling good - the nerves were getting to her. She'd waited too long for this and now, looking over the wakeful form of her baby in its hovering carriage, doubts were beginning to set in. What if the Corellian Jedi found out the child was Force Sensitive? Would they take it from the orphanage? Could they sense those sort of things? Maybe she should have chosen a different place, somewhere far from Jedi presence. But she'd grown up on Corellia, she was born here, she knew this planet as well as any citizen of it could have known it in 19 years. It was a peaceful place, a good place.

"Want 'benes."

She blinked, looking up from her meal to a young child seated with her parents down the row. Avalore frowned.

I know that feeling, pip. Never getting what you want. Sucks, don't it?

McPuff started to fuss.

"Pipe down, Puff," Avalore whispered, reaching in to touch at the infant's cheeks, "we're almost there."

This didn't seem to appease the infant as it then began to cry. Really cry.

Turak eyed the baby and scooched a bit further into his booth seat. He'd never been comfortable around it, especially when it cried.

"What's wrong," she looked the Caretaker droid, "does she need changed? She just ate."

Bebe changed, needs comfort. Hold.

"You know I can't. We've been through this." Where were those maternal instincts she was supposed to have? Every fiber in her being wanted to be as far away from the child as physically possible.

Hold, the droid insisted, comfort.

Avalore frowned, reached in and carefully picked up the crying infant, "Hey, you're causing a scene, pull it together Puff."

McPuff wasn't having it. She began wailing at the top of her teeny tiny lungs. Avalore held her stiffly, looking for all the world terrified.

[member="Jorus Merrill"]

 

[Jorus Merrill]

[member="Avalore Eden"]

Jorus' gaze tracked up past that superweapony pout, and Mara turned to follow his eyes.

"Tell ya what, kid. You get that baby to stop cryin', and we'll go out and find some tomo-spiced Karkan ribenes if you want to."

Mara, being Mara, didn't hear him. He watched in fatherly bemusement as she slipped out of the booth and approached the elevated McPuff. A conversation began which, all things considered, neither involved adults nor qualified as intelligible to them, as it consisted mostly of eye contact and weaponized burbles. Jorus scratched his head and rose.

"See you've met Mara. Sorry if she's in the way -- she loves babies."

 

[Avalore Eden]

McPuff continued to wail for only as long as it took her to meet the gaze of little Mara. A silence came over the baby as she stared, mouth opening and closing slowly with no sound coming from it. Like a bantha in headlights - or something.

Avalore went very still, her own eyes wide as she carefully glanced down to the girl, afraid any quick movement might upset what she thought was something of a miracle.

"Well..." a quick look back at Jorus, a frown, "that makes one of us." Very, very slowly she lowered McPuff and set the baby on her knees so that the two could look at one another on eye level.

"You've got a magical talent there girly. You could make good money working that-"

"AHAA!" McPuff burst out with a high-pitched laugh, eyes still trained on Mara. A glass of water toppled over on their table, untouched by anyone and Avalore flinched. The Noghri carefully picked it up and began mopping up the mess.

"Geez, no, don't do that in public McPuff. Calm down crazy," another quick glance to Jorus, the Jedi gulped with a hope he hadn't seen, "is she, uh, is she yours?"

[member="Jorus Merrill"]

 

[Jorus Merrill]

[member="Avalore Eden"]

"Yeah, she's mine, though I think the direction of ownership's in dispute. Mara, say hi to the baby."

Mara spoke baby at some length, and Jorus sneezed at her enthusiasm. He wished he hadn't; she was old enough now to have figured out that he sneezed when she got excited about something. He was, in point of fact, allergic to Zeltron pheromones, and her mother had been one. She looked confused or displeased for a moment, one of those amorphous hybrid little-girl expressions, but the baby had her attention.

"Sorry," he said. "Histamine response to pheromonal emission." Mara's pinkish skin said the rest, and he didn't feel like blaming her in a way she could hear. Yes, he was allergic to his kid. Diapers had been...quite something.

"Don't worry about the glass tipping bit. Mine's the same way. Sure didn't get it from me." He shrugged. "Well, maybe she did. Not my world. I'm Jorus, this is Mara. We were just wrapping up an' heading back to meet mommy, but Mara loves to make friends."

 

[Avalore Eden]

Avalore quietly watched little Mara converse with her daughter, doing well to cover up the awkward of it. Was she supposed to do something? Introduce...McPuff? Fumbling, she took McPuff's little right arm and gave it a little wave to Mara, not like the baby needed any help speaking for herself.

"Brwah," McPuff burbled, large eyes locked on Mara, transfixed.

Jorus sneezed.

Avalore looked up, "Pheremones?" a second curious glance to little Mara told her what she needed to know. Were it not for the pseudo-celebrity status of Zeltrons across the galaxy and the few pink-faced Jedi she'd seen around the Order, she might not have connected the dots. She smiled meekly, "You're a Jedi then?" his comment begged the question. It's not like she didn't stick out like a sore thumb, Jedi-apparent, Healer robes and all.

[member="Jorus Merrill"]

 

[Jorus Merrill]

[member="Avalore Eden"]

After an interminable moment of silence -- Mara had chosen to smear a chunk of something formerly edible onto her left ear, and extricating that took his full attention -- Jorus shrugged. "More or less. I'm, ah, I'm on the Council, or I think I'm about to be, though gods know I can't swing a sabre or lift a pebble, and burlap gives me hives. That's where we're headed for -- the Council, not the burlap -- once we're done making a mess out of ourselves, aren't we, Mara."

"I'm a Jedi Massa," said Mara solemnly, still fixated on the baby. She sure hadn't gotten that solemnity from her biological mother, a woman she'd never met and likely never would. She'd been the definition of a mistake; Jorus and his ship could appreciate that feeling. There'd be a talk in the future as to why she looked so much pinker than either of her parents -- Jorus was spacetrawler pale, and Alna was pretty fething black -- but that was for another day. Maybe she would start thinking that pink was halfway in between.

"How long you been with the Order?"

 

[Avalore Eden]

If Avalore thought it was a might bit odd for Jorus' daughter to be as pink as she was, she didn't make it known.

She did, however, smile at the solemn little girl, "You got me beat, Kiddo."

"I've been with them a little over a year," Avalore began, making to move McPuff back to her carriage and stopping as the infant gave a challenging squall. Wide-eyed, the Healer maintained her child where she was with a slow solemn sigh, watching Mara. Infectious little tyke.

The Healer opened her mouth to explain everything before realizing giving this man her life story, or even the story of the past year, wasn't necessary. He didn't need to know about Corellia or Coruscant or the fact that she had just left the Funeral of her Master. He didn't need to know why suddenly her eyes had become tightly crinkled from the thought in an attempt to hold back all that renewed sadness.

Avalore cleared her throat, "Good luck with the Council. We," a slow, deep, steadying breath, her voice cracked and wavered, "are on our way to the adoption center." She did not look proud to say it, but felt it needed to be said. To reaffirm her current ambling path back on track.

Stop looking at how cute that little girl is, stop thinking twice. This is for the best.

Isn't that right? Frown deepening, she leaned forward to wipe a dribble of spit from McPuff's chin, have to look good for your future parents. None of that drooling, kid, nobody likes a drooler.

[member="Jorus Merrill"]

 

[Jorus Merrill]

[member="Avalore Eden"]

"Gutsy thing to say, even if I've no earthly clue how to respond-"

"Daddy, am I 'dopted?"

Jorus gave Mara the longest doubletake in the history of ever. His mouth opened, then shut. He resolved to be a little more careful about who Mara talked to, what she listened to, what she watched, where she went and, in general, what she'd be permitted to do until age twenty-one. Because he had not the slightest idea where she'd have even heard the word, let alone what it meant, let alone put it together with her appearance, at the age of six. "No, honey. I'm your real daddy, and Mom's your real mommy."

Mara pondered this. "Not my first real mommy."

"No," he admitted, with an embarrassed glance at Avalore, "you've never met your first real mommy. I don't know where she is. But Mom's your real mommy, OK?"

"I know that," said Mara with disdain for her dullard father, and set about shredding a napkin, both the issue and the baby forgotten. Interlude over.

"Sorry about that. Ah -- your kid. You've had to raise the little guy alone?"

 

[Avalore Eden]

Avalore watched the exchange between the pair with knitted brows.

"Girl, actually," she said without much issue. Easy mistake to make with one as young as hers, wearing neutral clothing like she was. Avalore hadn't made a huge effort to spend gobs of money for cutsie outfits on a child she hadn't intended on keeping.

"I...yeah, her father is dead. Died before I even knew I was pregnant. I wasn't..." frown returning, deeper now, she half-heartedly bounced the infant gently on her knee, "wasn't supposed to even have her now. Meant to give her up right after birth, but hard to do when the birth happens on Coruscant during the invasion. There just," she sighed, grimacing, "wasn't time to take care of things the way they should have been."

"This all sounds pretty terrible, doesn't it? Giving her up now after everything, but I made a promise to myself that she would get the opportunity to grow up with a whole family, like I did. To have a choice. To make up her mind for herself. It's only fair...only right." She spoke the words as though they were things she'd recited over and over in her head. The conviction to the idea was there even if she looked entirely unsure.

[member="Jorus Merrill"]

 

[Jorus Merrill]

[member="Avalore Eden"]

If Alna was here-

"If my wife was here, she'd know just what to say. Guess the best I can offer is that I can respect that. I raised Mara by myself for a good while. Had some good friends to lend a hand when I was at the end of my rope, and I was..." He scratched his head, feeling more than a little awkward.

"...well, I was older than you're at now, and I still had my hands full and then some. First diaper I changed, I straight-up puked. Then there's the three hours' sleep a night, her screaming all the way -- took me a year and a half to break that. Suffice it to say, I wasn't feeling very Jedi. That's about when I ripped the bridge off Circe Savan's flagship. Then when she started getting her grownup teeth, and started having ideas about clothes and things -- that's when I nutshotted Kaine Zambrano with a beskar shotgun and tossed a Moross diplomat capship into hyperspace. Sideways. I mean, in my defense, they'd just stumbled onto the spot where Alna an' Mara spend most of their time -- our home, middle of nowhere, total secret, whatever. So I wasn't just low on patience, I was way off-kilter." He shifted, off balance in more ways than one. "Sorry, Mara's taught me to be a storyteller. Bottom line, I've got at least a little clue what you're goin' through, and my bet is you don't like what it's turnin' you into. As to whether your kid'll be happy...I'm not one of those folks that sees futures."