Private Of Wrath & Refuge

[Allyson Locke]

//: Taiia Locke //:
//: Continued from Thyferra //:

Something stopped her; she was so close to him, so close to accomplishing that deeply rooted, primal desire to destroy. She had hunted him, found him, and made him bleed.

Yet something held her back. Something strong wrapped its arms around her and kept her from moving forward.

Another voice, another feeling connected to whatever restrained her, stopped her from flickering again. If she could have, maybe Allyson could finally end the danger that loomed over Taiia's head.

She reached and clawed, desperate to succeed, to sink her hands into his wounds and rip the Dark Lord apart. Each strained breath hissed through her tightened jaw as she reached, even with her broken arm; she reached. Pain didn't matter anymore to the Corellian. Her entire being wanted to destroy him. Even here, she could smell it — the blood spilled from her most precious secret.

Taiia's words fell silent in her wife's ears. Panic surged through the K'paur as she reached again, only to watch the battlefield and her prey disappear.

It was gone; he was gone — her one chance to exact the revenge she felt was needed.

Frantically, her eyes searched as they arrived back on Taiia's ship. Prazutis had to be close. He had to be somewhere aboard. Allyson inhaled deeply, searching for him by scent, her senses sharpened by whatever state she had fallen into.

Hunt. Kill.

Two words repeated over and over again, a mantra that kept every part of her on edge. It wasn't until Taiia turned her, forcing her attention somewhere else, that something changed. Allyson recognized the woman's face. She recognized everything about her, but the pain she had watched, the wound that still bled, all of it only made Allyson want to tear herself free and find the one responsible.

Before she could protest, Taiia kissed her, holding her face like she had so many times before.

Allyson's bloodshot eyes remained open, confused by the gesture when it was the furthest thing from her mind. She wanted to rip and maim, to destroy everything that could ever harm Taiia. But with the woman there, the only thing in front of her, the animalistic urges slowly began to lose their hold.

Her voice finally broke through as the kiss ended.

Allyson felt Taiia's hand against the back of her neck, then her cheek, the gentle stroke of her thumb cutting through the frenzy little by little. The tenderness, the reassurance in her voice... all of it calmed her.

She was okay.

They had escaped with their lives.

Allyson's deep, ragged breaths slowed, and with them, her heartbeat. The frantic need faded from her eyes as she stared at Taiia, confusion lingering there even as she began to believe what the woman was telling her.

"Taiia…?"

Allyson finally found her voice. Even forming the letters, shaping the sound of the woman's name, felt like a struggle. Like she hadn't spoken in decades until now.

But Allyson remembered.

Her hand shook as she reached forward, her fingertips gently grazing Taiia's cheek, then her lips — the woman she had fought so hard to defend, to protect.

Allyson paused, still taking in what was happening, trying to understand everything. It felt as if her mind had pushed her somewhere far away and allowed something primal to take her place.

Her breathing steadied. Her heartbeat followed.

A soft sigh escaped her.

The pain sharpened around her arm and wrist now that there was room for it, but she didn't move from where she stood. Everything that had happened moments before felt like a fever dream, fractured... distant.

Allyson wondered if anything would feel normal again.

Then another kiss drew her attention, keeping her mind from spiraling once more.

Her arm hurt. Her body hurt. Her stomach twisted itself into knots.

Yet somehow, this kept her grounded. Somehow, Taiia washed everything else away.

Allyson leaned into the gentleness of the kiss. She didn't push it, nor did she try to guide it somewhere else. The softness was what she needed — to be brought back to her center, away from the chaos of the battlefield and the thing she had become within it.

She brought her hand up, resting it against the small of her wife's back and pulling her closer. Allyson lingered there for a breath longer before finally pulling away, her forehead settling against Taiia's.

With every breath, some of the fury left her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, knowing she must have done something horrible for Taiia to come to Thyferra.

Her eyes remained closed against her wife's forehead.

"Why did you come… it was dangerous…"

 

[Taiia Locke]

//: Allyson Locke //:
​

Taiia remained close when Allyson finally began to come back to her. She felt the change before she saw it, the frantic pulse beneath her fingertips gradually slowing while the terrible pressure that had filled their bond began to loosen. Allyson's eyes were still bloodshot, confusion lingering behind them as though she had awakened somewhere she did not remember going, but when her trembling hand rose to Taiia's cheek, she smiled at her wife.

Taiia leaned into the touch. "Yes." Her answer to her name was barely more than a whisper. "I'm here." The second kiss was gentler than the first had needed to be. One hand remained at the back of her neck while the other settled carefully around her waist. When Allyson drew her closer, Taiia went willingly, holding her there until their foreheads came together again.

Only then did the adrenaline begin to leave her as well. The cut along her thigh burned now that there was no Dark Lord standing in front of her demanding all of her attention, and the hand resting against Allyson's neck trembled faintly before Taiia steadied it. She ignored both for the moment. Allyson's arm hung uselessly at her side, burned badly enough that Taiia did not need the Force to understand it required attention, and the rest of her hardly looked better.

Then came the apology. Taiia's eyes opened. "Don't." Her thumb moved slowly beneath Allyson's ear, reassuring herself as much as her wife that the woman standing in front of her truly was back. "We can talk about everything that happened on Thyferra when neither of us is bleeding." The question that followed drew an amused smile. Why had she come? Taiia studied her wife's face for several seconds before answering. "Because you promised me you weren't going to do this anymore. Not alone."

Taiia's fingers slipped from the back of Allyson's neck and found the hand resting against her cheek, gently closing around it. "You told me you would stop carrying everything by yourself. That you would let me stand beside you." Her gaze lifted fully to Allyson's. "So I did."

Her expression softened. "I came because you said you would let me stand beside you from now on." A faint breath escaped her. "With how you said goodbye and what I felt through our bond..." Taiia shook her head slightly. "I was not going to Corellia."

Her eyes moved over Allyson again, lingering on the ruined arm before returning to her face. "And then I saw you." That changed something in Taiia's expression, concern replacing the quiet firmness there. "I have never seen you like that." Not just anger or recklessness. Something else entirely. "You weren't hearing me, Allyson. I don't think you were really seeing me either. Even after I had my arms around you, all you wanted was to get back to him." Her fingers tightened slightly around Allyson's hand. "And the way you moved..." Taiia paused. "You folded space." Her brow furrowed. "I've seen you vanish. I've seen you teleport. I've seen nearly every trick you have ever thought clever enough to surprise me with." A faint trace of affection touched her face despite everything. "I have never seen you do that."

That had been the moment Taiia stopped thinking about whether they could still win the fight. Prazutis had become more dangerous the instant the Force returned. Allyson had become less concerned with surviving it. "You were not thinking clearly, that was why I grabbed you and left." Taiia brought Allyson's hand back to her cheek for a moment. "Just like you want to protect me, I want to protect you too." Taiia stepped back only enough to begin guiding her toward the medbay, refusing to release her hand in the process. "Now, time for a swim in the bakta tank for you, Min Larel." Her eyes dropped pointedly toward Allyson's arm. "We are dealing with this first."

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Taiia Locke //:

Everything that Taiia was explaining, Allyson had no recollection of. All she knew was that she needed to kill Braxus Zambrano. A part of her felt she could have done it; if she had unlocked some unknown well of the Force, she would have been strong enough to kill him. That would ensure that Taiia was safe. The others weren't as curious about Allyson's secrets as Prazutis was. It bothered her; he was like her — paranoid and desirous of knowledge.

But unlike him, Allyson knew where her nose could be poked.

Taiia's voice was soothing; Allyson found herself relaxing more than she usually would do after a fight. Whatever had awoken within her was soothed, quieted by the woman's voice. Allyson leaned into her touch, trying not to remember how she had said goodbye — content that she might not see the woman again. Yet, that's how this line of work was. At any point, goodbye was permanent.

Allyson winced softly, remembering her tone. "I'm sorry." She whispered. There was no reassurance, because she refused to lie to her wife. Taiia, though, unlike before perhaps… understood what Allyson's life was to those that commanded her. Even if she wanted to live — if ordered, she would perish.

But unlike before, she would fight tooth and nail to get back. Maybe that's where this hidden strength came from? That desire to live was a feeling she had never felt before. It was easier to let life choose for you. She tried to move the injured hand and couldn't. A small whimper, a sound she would have never allowed before, escaped. Frowning, she leaned in, letting her cheek and forehead brush against Taiia's. It was all she needed, all she wanted.

"I don't remember anything." She admitted, confusion lacing her words.

"The last thing I do remember is seeing you. I was happy… because I knew at that moment it might be the last time."

They began to move, Taiia wanting to take care of her injuries — ones that she didn't remember and hated herself for not remembering. What would have happened if she had fallen? Would Taiia have kept fighting? Would she have tried to drag Allyson's lifeless form back? Too many what-ifs made things dangerous. Allyson followed, trying to keep her mind together and piece together the things Taiia had mentioned so they could discuss them.

Nothing came, but as they entered the medbay, she paused.

"Thank you," Allyson said, chewing on the inside of her cheek. She wasn't good at letting others help, especially someone she had vowed to protect with every fiber of her being. But Taiia had reminded Allyson that while she saw her as a delicate and precious woman — Taiia was a warrior, a fighter, and someone who could easily take on armies without fear. It scared Allyson; she didn't want to think of her wife throwing herself into danger.

I want to protect you too…

"I promise I'll get better at letting you protect me; it's still very new for me." Allyson smiled. Right now, all she wanted was to pull Taiia close — to feel her again and remind Allyson that they had survived.

"I don't know what happened to me… You said I felt different? Seemed different?" Allyson worried a little; if Taiia didn't know what happened, how were they going ot figure it out? Even more so, what if this happened between them without knowing? Allyson had no control over it, and she pulled back slightly.

"I don't want to hurt you on accident." Allyson turned her head as she spoke. "I don't know if I'd be able to live with myself if I did anything…"

The medbay provided a subject change. Allyson nodded towards the woman's bleeding leg.

"You're getting healed up too; you should go first… you're more important."

The Corellian's stubbornness was on full display. Her confusion about what happened, the remnants of bloodlust, and her overbearing care for Taiia only contributed to it.

 

[Taiia Locke]

//: Allyson Locke //:
​

Taiia's expression softened as Allyson apologized again, but she did not interrupt this time. She remained close, letting their foreheads rest together while the Corellian worked through the fragments she could remember. The admission that she remembered almost nothing did not surprise Taiia after what she had witnessed, though the next words did.

I was happy… because I knew at that moment it might be the last time.

Taiia's eyes opened, and for several seconds she said nothing. Allyson said things Taiia had learned not to answer immediately; the first answer was rarely the one she wanted to give. Hearing that Allyson had looked upon her on Thyferra and found happiness in what she believed might be their last moment together stirred something painful beneath her ribs.

Her hand slid gently along Allyson's cheek.

"Min Larel..."

Taiia leaned forward and pressed a kiss against her forehead before drawing back enough to meet her eyes.

"I am very glad you were wrong."

She could have said more. Much more. But Allyson was hurting, confused, and only beginning to understand something Taiia herself could not yet explain. This was not the moment to discuss what she expected to be their final moments. When Allyson thanked her instead, Taiia's expression warmed; the promise that followed brought a thoughtful gaze from Taiia.

She studied Allyson for a moment, remembering another conversation and another promise, one made when they had finally begun dismantling the idea that loving Taiia meant carrying every burden alone; then she leaned in and kissed her softly.

"That's all I ask."

Allyson had spent most of her life learning the opposite; she could give her time to learn something new. The question about Thyferra brought the concern back almost immediately.

"You did."

Taiia's brow furrowed slightly. "I've seen you angry before. I've seen you frightened, and I've seen you sad." A faint trace of humor touched her expression before disappearing.

"But I have never seen you like that."

She guided Allyson toward the medbay as she spoke, keeping herself close enough that Allyson could lean against her if she needed to.

"When Prazutis cut me, something changed in you. I could feel it through the bond before I understood what I was seeing." Taiia paused as they reached the medbay. "You weren't thinking about the fight anymore. You weren't even thinking about yourself. You were hunting him."

That was the only word Taiia had found that seemed right. "And then the Force came back. You disappeared." She saw the confusion in Allyson's expression and clarified. "Not the way you usually do. You weren't hiding." Taiia's hand lifted, gesturing vaguely between one point and another.

"You were simply here, and then you were there. Again and again. No anchors that I could see. No preparation." Even now, recalling it raised more questions in her. "You were folding the distance between you."

"I've never seen you do anything like it." Then came the fear Taiia had expected eventually.

I don't want to hurt you on accident.

Allyson pulled away slightly, but Taiia followed just enough to prevent the distance from growing.

"Hey."

Her hand found Allyson's cheek again.

"Look at me."

Taiia waited until she did.

"You didn't hurt me. I don't know exactly what happened to you, and I'm not going to pretend I do."

Her thumb brushed gently beneath Allyson's eye. "But you recognized me."

Eventually, that part remained unsaid.

"You fought me when I pulled you away, yes."

A faint breath escaped her.

"Quite enthusiastically."

There was the smallest hint of a smile before her expression softened again. "But I had my arms around you. I dragged you through the Nether while you were trying very hard to get back to Prazutis, and even then you never turned that anger on me. I don't think you wanted to hurt me. We should figure out what happened. We should understand it before either of us assumes it can't happen again." Her hand slipped down to Allyson's.

"But I'm not afraid of you."

Then Allyson looked at her leg. Taiia followed her gaze toward the cut Prazutis had left behind and immediately knew where this was going.

You're getting healed up too; you should go first… you're more important.

Taiia stared at her for a moment as if she had just said the most absurd thing in the galaxy, because she had.

"Allyson Locke."

There was a very particular tone in the way she said the name. "You have one arm you cannot presently use." Taiia pointed toward it.

"You can barely move without something hurting." Her finger shifted toward Allyson's general collection of injuries. "And you teleported yourself enough times in the space of several minutes that I am reasonably certain parts of you are currently objecting to being in the same places they started."

Her hand lowered.

"I have a cut on my leg. I am going second." There was no room for negotiation in the statement. She stepped closer and slipped an arm carefully around Allyson's waist, guiding her toward the bacta tank.

"And before you tell me you're more worried about me... I know. You always are, and I love you for it, but not this time." Then Taiia gently but very deliberately encouraged toward the bacta tank.

"Now let me take care of my wife." Taiia walked over and began to help Allyson out of her clothes, while she knew her wife was more than adept at removing clothes on her own; something she had been on the receiving end of many times. It was hard to do that with one arm.