Of Uncommon Fear & Family (Kaine, Beth)

[Yasha Cadera]

Docking at the Sundari Palace
Mandalore

Tamar and Aiya came first, to collect [member="Beth Australis-Mantis"] and [member="Adara Raxis"], and tend them down in their Palace home. They ensured Beth and Adara were showered and dressed in pyjamas, fed and collected in Yasha’s own private bedroom.

The space above Mandalore was yet a mess of ships returning from the ill-fated trip to Commenor’s now besieged System, yet after hours of diligent attention paid to all complaints and worries by the Mand’alor, Yasha finally returned from the Hell Wolf. Finally, Yasha made her way to the Australis-Mantis suite in the Sundari Palace.

Finally, Yasha would see her daughters.

[member="Ambrose Mantis"] shoved a half dozen Clansmen out of the way to get to [member="Kaine Australis"]. None would speak a word of what transpired on the Sith Emperor’s Flagship. None would speak of why the Myrmadinas was found swathed in fear on Commenor, devoid of its’ prominent passenger [member="Baiko no Kaho"]. There were whispers, yet those whispers burned to silence near any.

“Go to Yasha, man! Go! I’ll finish the work here. Go!” Ambrose’s only vocalization, beyond the biting growls in his throat. Go. All any would say to the father and Warmaster.

Go now. Something indelible changed.

Yasha’s helm receded from an exhausted and tear-dried face, her usually sparkling amber eyes dull and bloodshot. She stood in the living room of their suite, staring at her bedroom door, where their daughters awaited her. Her bulk hit the wall and slid down, etching lines in the plaster from her beskar’gam.

Wonder, confusion, the ache for uncomplicated solitude drew across Yasha’s once-pretty face like the sore opened on Commenor’s now glassed city. Once Kaine entered their miniature kingdom, Yasha finally spoke.

“Adara… Adara called the Dark Lord to her side from across the known Galaxy. Bastion to Sabarene… what sort of ability or raw talent does that child possess, if she could call Carnifex to her in near-instantaneous seconds? Beth grabbed Achani and ran…” Yasha’s face turned up to Kaine’s, eyes wide with a pained innocence.

“Baiko’s dead.” Three syllables hung ill in the air, crash-landing upon Yasha’s akimbo legs.

“I don’t understand… Beth and Adara are waiting for us, they… I… I don’t know what to do but hold them, Kain’ik… he crossed the galaxy, because my daughter cried… then… bombed Commenor... Adara was sitting on his knee. He held her while he told us he'd cut Baiko in two... for what?

A bit of mysticism with different sides? I don't understand.”

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“Baiko took Adara, she… she lied to me, saying they were going to visit family and I assumed that meant Kay and my cousins, but… Baiko took Adara, Beth and Achani to Sabarene, where she aided some jetise in trying to cure Adara’s reliance on…what is it, Kain’ik? What do you need to say?” Eyes a wealth of aghast wonder, Yasha searched Kaine’s face and arms. For a moment she forgot what a hug was, forgot what affection did to a struggling mind.

She pushed herself off the floor, staggering against the wall and hitting the maglock on her armour to let the pieces of beskar slough off from the armourweave. Stepping out of the boots, Yasha bit her lips and in a grunt of inner pain and frustration, did something Kaine, nor anyone had ever seen.

Cupping her hands over her face, Yasha Mantis began to sob uncontrollably. Baiko was the cornerstone of Yasha’s young life. The only person in the universe who loved her without diminishment or restraint. Baiko stayed when Aditya left in frustration, she held fast when Aditya was dead. Whenever there was anything which seemed too large and uncontainable for the young Epicanthix, Baiko was the one who helped her break it down and manage it.

The stone Carnifex shattered was the cornerstone of Yasha’s life. Torrents of bitter water poured down Yasha’s cheeks, her shoulders shivering with hiccuping stutters as she flung herself into [member="Kaine Australis"]’ arms. When Kaden died, Yasha had wailed, punched, shed tears... but never broken past that point. When her mother died and Aditya’s death was revealed, Yasha shed tears, but never lost control. When Adara laid dying, Yasha has cursed and cried, but Gray helped her from breaking.

Now Baiko was gone. Kaden was gone.

Adara was in the thrall of Sith Lords. Beth was shaken and twisted in grief. And Kaine had to talk.

Yasha lost it.

The grief built up within a lifetime of horror and survived terror finally burst open, and nothing remained but the fragile soul of a wounded girl shattering before Kain’ik’s eyes.

“Baiko... Baiko... Bai...” Yasha sobbed freely, arms on Kaine’s back. Baiko. Her betrayal stung too deep.

 

[Yasha Cadera]

The scant remaining troops around Mand’alor the Infernal were Clan Mantis converts, most clones of her father Preliat, who fought to come home and serve the Aliit. Ambrose saw this coming. As much as he and Baiko had their issues, the elder gurlanin recognized Baiko’s import in Yasha’s life.

It was the only thing which kept Baiko’s force use and her personhood alive.

Two of the Clansmen picked up the fallen pieces of the Infernal’s armour in somber silence, vacating on the tail end of the others.

Yasha sobbed freely, her knees shivering weak against [member="Kaine Australis"]’ thighs. In this state of grief, she didn’t realize where she was, what room of the Palace she was in. At one point, the Infernal simply stopped moving. Now, with Kaine whispering tenderly in her ear, she followed his motion and within the minute they were sequestered away in the safety of their shared home.

He’d been there for the kids, Yasha reminded herself of that fact on the daily. He was there for the kids. Stepping in her stocking feet, Yasha crumbled onto the couch, pulled her knees up to her chest, and wept.

“How do I tell Buir? What do I say to Achani and Azure? How do we do this, Kain’ik. She called him across a galaxy. Across... a galaxy.... How is that possible?” Yasha spoke in hoarse whispers, an indiscriminate time later, when her tears were exhausted and she rested within the embrace of the one she had left. Her Kain’ik. Sniffling harshly, Yasha curled up in his arms, burying her head in his collarbone.

“I tried so hard... I tried everything in my power to save Commenor. We were supposed to meet, to negotiate but... but in my last meeting with him something changed. He stopped looking at me with pride and... and... how did he know where Adara was? How did he hear her? How did this happen? I don’t understand.” Kaine was the only one left alive who knew the truth of Yasha’s incapacity to understand the ways of the Force. It was stripped from her, carried off in the shattered piece of soul which remained in the Nether. It was little comfort now, so little comfort.

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“Baiko always hated that. Marching away. ‘As if I would, after all my time, want to spend my eternal rest marching. Run around enough with you lot.’ She was the worst Mandalorian ever.” Yasha sniffled and rubbed her swollen eyes with a tissue, taking the tea and attempting a failed smile.

“Kaine?” A whisper in the tumult of private tears. “I’ve never feared him. He was just a man with power on his belt. A kindred soul, one of the only ones who knew what I went through as a child. He would look at me, say my name and I knew I could survive anything. If he made it, and I made it, then I was going to be okay. I can’t explain what changed… what is it like? The Force? He said… Carnifex said Baiko betrayed me. She hid her powers and used them to try and strip the Dark from Adara. Adara called for him across the entire breadth of the Galaxy, how could she do that? She's five years old.”

Bloodshot eyes looked to the room where Beth and Adara laid. Sipping her tea, Yasha grunted mildly.

“Hot.” Baiko’s tea. Ducking under Kaine’s arm, Yasha cuddled herself on his lap, nuzzling her cheek against his collarbone. It may have been childish to demand such comforts, but Yasha cared little for anything else but the trust she placed in him. The love they had for their little family. Hugging the teacup to her chest, Yasha muffled a sniffle and dabbed at her eyes.

“Yes, we can. It was easy enough taking Adara and Beth back, they wanted to give them to me. Wanted to show me how graciously they kept Adara safe, how Beth hadn’t come to any harm in their hands. They want me to marry Alvarex and have a host of grand babies like Adara… they want Mandalore to align and hold steadfast. By knowing their desires, I can work on keeping our People safe… even if it means sacrificing my own desires. As odd as it sounds, Baiko and Carnifex agreed on one thing, marriage for the sake of politics is one thing Baiko prepared me for since childhood. Alvarex is... as odd as it might sound when one looks at his pedigree, Alvarex is an honourable and good man... one I don't know well enough yet, but so far his father and great-uncle are staying out of our excursions and that alone is a mercy beyond reproach. If it would save our family... if it would save our People... Kain'ik, I'd do it. If it came to that, I would do it gladly."

"I… I want to ask Beth what happened, but… she nearly passed out, Kaine. I had to carry her to the ship it was all too much. Had Doc check her over, said her maternal genome was throwing her body out of whack. I don’t like the way Prazutis looked at her, as if she were ripe for some grand manipulation.” Nuzzling into his chest, her legs flopped on the other side of his thighs, Yasha sipped her hot tea.

“You have a plan… and it doesn’t involve me becoming Mrs. Alvarex Zambrano… you said you needed to talk. What is it, Kain’ik? What have you done, while I rescued our kids?”

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“I spent my entire life thinking Baiko was like me. To think she was hiding in plain sight... now I understand why Ambrose hated her. I cured kids my age. Stuck the needles in their arms, telling them it was better this way, they’d have better lives. Their sickness was over. Baiko stood beside me, my Mama’s slave, who stayed after I freed her. She served my parents, who put bullets in forcies’ heads long before Ra came into our lives. And she lied the entire time. Biding it for what? A chance to change me? A chance to take my daughter without permission to a foreign place? I loved her. I trusted her with all of me. I don’t know how to fix our daughter.” There, the crux. Their daughter. Had it finally sunk in? Was Yasha so desperate that she pled with Kaine to keep the connection forged in Adara’s infancy? He spoke of potentials for mistreatment, the fate of Mandalore and Yasha’s eyes shut. She cuddled into him, nose beside his neck, and sighed.

“No, I don’t. Commenor was an alliance of systems built on pacifism and verbal agreements. They had few real soldiers and even fewer capable naval officers. They were utterly outmatched and Kay played the wrong strategy, pushing when she should have sued for peace and bought enough time. We are Mando’ade and I know beyond every shadow I’ve experienced that the Sith fear us. They fear what we could make us if I turned to the hate in my heart. Carnifex didn’t bring up courtship until after Alvarex and I met, Kain’ik… feth if he isn’t gorgeous and honourable and ferocious and if he didn’t hold Adara so well.”

A father, who raised daughters would see the meek pout of Yasha's smitten lips, the curve of her open eyelids, the downcast chin. Rubbing at her cheek, Yasha closed her eyes against the sting of her dried tears. “We would enter a war of attrition, Kain’ik. The Mando’ade and the Sith would churn in a grinder, we would lose more life on either side than the Sith could handle without losing hold on its inner borders. And we would be cleansed, like Commenor’s city, like Ession. Massive swathes of dead without ceasing. We would leave our holdings, keep our people on migratory ships, and our enemies would surround us. Some would survive. Our culture would continue, without homeworld, without holdings, without the sun and wind on our children’s faces. They would grow like me, children of battle. We would survive, constantly churning and nomadic. The Sith would survive, slinking into shadows with their empire around their knees... yet the rest of the galaxy would swallow us both. Manda’yaim would be no more.”

Yasha eased to look Kaine in the eyes.

“Carnifex and I both know this is what awaits us if the Mando’ade and Sith go to war. I lived it, Kain’ik. Kaden, Shia and I lived seven years in the amount of time it took my father to scream my name. His scream chased me through hell, and I felt the weight of a long suffering man breaking. We were sent back to this time so I could change the future and keep Mandalore alive. If we don’t bolster against the coming wars, there won’t be a Mandalore left. All we’ve built will be dust and glass. All our people will be dead.” Running her palms along her hair, Yasha hissed out a deep exhale. “What good is it to launch into aruetiise conflicts, when it is to our people we should cling? We would be better served converting the aruetiise to our ways. I’ve seen where they go, Kain’ik. I’ve lived their horrors. Only through the Manda can we be saved.”

[member="Kaine Australis"]

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“We should go see the girls. Bethy was upset like none other, I’m worried about her health. Was reading up more on her maternal racial physiology and the emotions dictating health thing scares me. She got so pale, kept complaining she couldn’t breathe. I had to carry her out of the Emperor’s lair. They didn’t hurt her, that was the only plus.” Easing off Kaine’s lap, Yasha stretched and pulled a sweater over her under tank, her armourweave unzipped down to her navel, arms wrapped around her waist.

“What do we do about Adara? I can’t have her used as a bargaining chip, and she can’t call Carnifex every time she has a tantrum.” Rubbing her forehead, Yasha busied with making Kaine another cup of tea. “How much is she sharing with them that we don’t know? I want to call Dad, but... how do I tell him his granddaughter got his wife killed and in the same conversation ask for help?”

The thought settled on her chest, a new pressure which wound round each rib and tugged.

“Alkor wonders if we should give Adara to Ember. He was clear when he called me his enemy. The man made me linger in Hell for seven fething years before he gave me the information I needed to know. I deserved Hell for what I brought down on Dathomir, but I don’t trust him. How can our only non-Sith option be the man who put me through that? Ember loves Shia. He’d fall over himself to make Shia Mand’alor. He’d probably end Adara’s life rather than see her thrive... I know Shia wants to. She told me as much, that Adara was some kind of monster. She’s just a little girl, Kaine. She’s just a beautiful little girl. Is that what I make, though? Do I turn everyone I love into some form of monster?”

[member="Kaine Australis"] [member="Beth Australis-Mantis"]

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“Careful, Kain’ik.” Yasha forced a timid smirk on her stricken, but lovely face, an attempt at levity. “Your opinions are showing. You’re right. Adara’s ours and nobody is going to fix this but us. I couldn’t do this parenting thing without you, Kain’ik… I’m sorry it takes you away from Caz and Nibs’ika and your other kids. They deserve your time more than I do.”

Wiping her face, Yasha found it within her to pour Kaine’s tea and hand it to him, siting beside him on the couch to lean against his arm.

“It was my fault. Kaden and I should have waited until we were more than two days shy of the Netherworld, my body wasn’t ready. I was too weak. Kaden… Kaden would have stormed the Netherworld for whatever he could find to help his ad’ika. Maybe that’s what he did. Gave up and… went searching. What am I saying? Kaden’s in Manda. He has to be.” Pulling one leg, then the other onto the sofa, Yasha hugged an arm around her shins.

“This was the opposite. Kaine showed me the medical holos from the Behemoth. Adara was a mess. Bleeding from her hands, face, knee… bruised all over and pale as a sheet of flimsy. He gave her the same care he gives his own children… Heck, even Prazutis sang songs with her. She called him ‘Uncle Prazamussus’ and his answer was to smile and give her a gift. I’ve seen Hell, watching my daughter, while Commenor was burning and Beth was nearly passing out, hop past the guards to the Dark Lord’s throne, then without a care just… climb up to sit on his knee and cuddle was… Right then and there. Like some… loving grandfather or uncle.

We need help. I should call Fiolette and Taeli. Taeli offered to take a look at Adara, maybe there's something she can do? After all, Fiolette is Adara's godmother.”

“Buir? Baba?” There she was, dressed in a onesie pyjama, dragging her strill plush behind her. Adara rubbed at her eyes and padded over, climbing up to cuddle up on Kaine’s knee.

“Adara, honey cakes what are you doing awake?” Yasha eased closer to her daughter and her co-parent, smoothing Adara’s hair and leaning her head on Kain’ik’s shoulder.

“Is Befthy gonna cry forever? Her sad is making me sad. I tried singing the happy clappy song Uncle Prazamussus taught me, but she didn’t wanna.”

“Bethy’s sad right now, Dara’ika. It’s okay to be sad. Do you know what happened to Ba’buir Baiko?”

“Glomkhoduil was holding me. Ba’buir was trying to take stabby swings with her sword and I was scared. Glimkhoduil’s lightsbaber went through Ba’buir’s tummy… then there was no Ba’buir… her dress fell to the sand in two pieces, nothing in it. Glomkhoduil said he desmoyed her, and I didn’t have to be scared… Baba? What’s des-tro-yed mean?”

[member="Kaine Australis"]

 

[Yasha Cadera]

Kaine cuddled Adara with the conviction of a true and divine parent. Adara nuzzled deep, safe from danger and the fear of bad dreams. The child sniffled in his embrace, rubbing her eyes on Kaine’s shirt.

“Ba’buir hurt me Baba... Your Adara was scared. More scared than when boo dreams wake me up in my room and I gotta cuddle in with Befthy or Buir. Grandfather made it all better.”

“Baba won’t let anybody hurt you.” Yasha’s sweater scratched at her shoulders as she took it off, placing it around her daughter’s shoulders and tucking her into ‘Baba’s’ embrace for warmth.

“Adara, did Darth Carnifex ask you to call him Grandfather?” Amber eyes rested not on the child but her adopted father, brow furrowed by the way Adara spoke.

“Nooo.” Adara nuzzled into the sweater, hugging her father tight. “He is my Grandfather. You don’t know it yet, cause Grandmother Salara hasn’t tied that weird scarf around Daddy Rex and your hands. It’s in my picture, Mommy. I drew it. Eli told me to, while I was napping.”

All possible colour drained from Yasha’s skin. The woman crumpled, a loose collection of sagging flesh compressed in a wicked atmosphere. Her hand pressed on the wall to keep standing. [member="Kaine Australis"] gave Adara every ounce of love he had, a warrior moved to tears by nothing but his daughter’s plight.

“Mommy? Mooooooommy.” Adara called, voice muffled by her mother’s sweater.

The light stung her eyes, and Yasha shut them.

“But... you’re my father... aren’t you Baba? You said. You said you’re my Buir.” At that, Adara’s bold eyes peered into Kaine’s face. The couch depressed as Yasha sat beside them, wrapping her arms around Kaine and Adara simultaneously.

“Your birth father was my best friend. We got married and had you... then... he went where Baba said. The Manda. Baba held you the minute you were all bundled up and crying, he brought you to me from the doctors, and he promised to always be here for his little girl. We’re Mandalorians, Adara. We choose our families and we love you.”

The skin on Adara’s cheek was soft as gossamer in comparison to Kaine’s rough face. Both cheeks kissed, Yasha laid her head on Kaine’s shoulder and hugged into the cuddle.

“Do we have chawklit? I promised Befthy if we got home I would give her chawklit.”

 

[Yasha Cadera]

Mother, daughter and father comforted one another in a familial embrace. Yasha knew that she could become the cold and ruthless ruler, raising Adara solely through the nannies and seeing her whenever there was a spare moment of time. Aiya and Tamar were still just as important in Yasha’s life, they maintained the Mand’alor’s Household far better than Yasha could herself.

Yet, when she knew there could be other things on her mind, when she began to sink to the apathetic quality of a lifelong dealer of death, [member="Kaine Australis"] never let her.

He challenged her with the rebuke of aliit, of family. He saw the hearth not as a prison, but the place of refuge most befitting soldiers, when they came off the killing fields. The love he had for his adopted daughter was tantamount to divine. It was a safe haven, where Yasha could let down her guards, and bask in the glow.

How else did parents teach their daughter about death and Manda? Yasha realized Kain’ik must have done so a dozen times, to a dozen children.

“But Ba’buir isn’t in Manda, Baba.”

“Adara, shush now. We’ll remember Ba’buir in our morning prayers, okay? Come, let’s find the chocolate.” Yasha groaned to her feet, holding out her hand for her daughter, who took it and hopped off her father’s knee. Adara was halfway to the kitchenette, when a bar presented itself and stopped the child in her tracks.

“We’ll never know.” Yasha smirked, watching Adara gasp in wonder, and take the bar in both hands.

“Thank you Daddy!” Adara grunted as she reached for her plush strill, jogging off back to Yasha’s bedroom. “Befthy! Befthy, I got it, I got it! I gots the chawklit! Adara will make you feel better!”

The door shut behind Adara. Her mother tilted, hugging her arms across her chest as she sat back down on the couch, and facing outward, put her head on Kaine’s lap. Both knees pulled up to press against her chest. Yasha’s skin went cold, clammy and grey-tinged.

All she could do was breathe.

Adara saw it, she said… was told to draw it out in all the detail a nearly six year old girl could muster… by Eli. A vision of a future she left behind in its’ Netherworldly origin point.

A voice on the wind, almost tangible enough to feel crawling upon her and Kaine’s skin. A child’s voice.

“Mooooooommy… mooooooooooooommy we’re coming for you Mooommmmy. ​

Mooooooooooommy!” ​

The light stung her eyes, and she shut them. ​

Gray said it wasn’t real. A trick of the Dark Side of the Force, making Yasha fear the future of being a mother. Eli wasn’t real. He was an illusion of the Chaos. She knew what she should be doing, Yasha should have followed Adara, gone to make sure Beth was okay.

Get up, her mind said. Get up. Get up and live in a world where Baiko was dead, Eli was sending dream-messages to Adara, and Yasha’s little girl was calling Sith Lords to her side on bad days. Get up to a world where Commenor was burning, Kay was imprisoned, and the Lord of Lies taught happy songs to little children with a smile.

Stunned eyes remained bloodshot and open.

Yasha's body began to shiver.

 

[Yasha Cadera]

After twenty years of surviving daily horrors and being raised in a nightmare, Yasha Mantis fell to the curse of her father’s genetics.

Yasha broke. Mama and Baiko were gone. Kaden was dead. Commenor, that bright spot of hope, was shattered by the man, who crossed a galaxy to rescue a lost child. Preliat and Silas wanted her to join the deceased, and the vision-child which was a grand hallucination spoke to her living flesh and blood. Whispered a future she’d left behind, bleeding and screaming, in Kaden and Shia’s embrace.

There were no sobs as she wept uncontrollably in [member="Kaine Australis"]’ arms. In all her years, Yasha’d never wept at all. Shed a tear, yes, but an outpouring of her shattered soul? The sensation was as unique as being held tenderly, by the man with War in his name. Yasha’s body was slack as a breathing, but lifeless doll. Red eyes shut. She nestled into his embrace, hands slowly crawling up his torso to cling round his neck.

The diffused sun drifted across the apartment floor. All Yasha did was breathe and weep. As the sun faded into shadow, Yasha’s head regained its strength. She rustled against him, head to his shoulder. A shivering hand rested on the rough scarred skin of his cheek.

Never one to instigate affection, Yasha leaned up and after years of living one room away from the man who raised her child, she kissed him. Tender, cloying and lingering upon his lips, the broken young woman finally gave in. Her inner walls shattered and she was present with more than the grief holding her back. The woman who previously was one step out of synch with Kaine’s talk of family understood it. The woman who feared his wives’ reproach, no matter how many times they welcomed her into their lives found kinship in the man, who sacrificed years mostly away from his own family for Yasha and Adara. Edging to fit herself more comfortably in Kaine’s lap, Yasha exhaled a hissing and shaken breath.

“Sinner’s Rue gives you a compounding and growing personal Armageddon based on your guilt and sins. When I was a child, the Rue made me confront death as Aditya faded, choking with every step I took. I pulled her on our blanket, and defeated it. When I was thirteen and we took Dathomir, my sins caught up. The Rue gave me Eli, a future vision of a son. Carnifex's grandson. Kaden’s Rue was being forced to watch as I lived a trapped and haunted existence… so he shattered it. He broke the rue to get me out, carried me with all my wounds and injuries until I tore us across the road to the only safe haven I knew existed.

Eli followed us for seven years, calling my name. Kaden kept us moving. When I met Gray on Mandalore, he felt Eli’s presence, said he wasn’t a real boy, but the Dark Side given form in an attempt to bypass my Force Death and get ahold of me, a trick.

What if they were wrong? What if Eli was given life by the Rue? What if I left my son behind? What if he’s been trying for years to reach his mother? Adara’s drawing, it’s… I’m wearing the same dress I was in the Rue. What’s happening, Kain’ik? Why are there forces beyond my understanding continually pushing at our lives? I couldn’t protect Beth from the fear around her, I was helpless to save more then a few cities on Commenor. I… ”

A new vulnerability shone in Yasha’s eyes as she sat up and glanced eye to eye with Kaine Australis. The man, who knew most of her now knew all. Every secret laid upon the beds of their making, until a weary and aching young woman, whose life held more horror than five veterans of war, splayed her hands on Kaine’s chest.

“I need my soul back. I cannot continue on this road without understanding what it is I’ve been dead to all this time.” There was no more terrifying sentiment than reunification, but like her forebears, Yasha Mantis stuck her shoulder into the brink and pushed on.

All she could do was refuse defeat and press on.

 

[Yasha Cadera]

Lies and deceit.

The Dark was manipulations and the horror of spoiled choice. Would it call too loudly if Yasha went down that reconstructive road? Kaden would have told Yasha to forget it, to be done with it all and defy any challenge or option which would give her more impact with the Dark Lord… yet he would have challenged Hell for his daughter and wife.

And years after his death, Yasha realized she would never be over [member="Kaden Mantis"]. The past held a hellacious but balmy shine in this terrible present, where moth and rust destroyed all she tried to build. Life was uncomplicated. Her world was small.

[member="Kaine Australis"] spoke of the time before, which Yasha was aware of, but never heard the tales he could tell. Nobody heard them, anymore, by and large. Blowing her nose on a hankie, Yasha dipped to put her temple on his collarbone, cuddling in against the frigidity threatening her heart.

Manipulation or optimism, were those the only choices? No, Yasha thought of her father Gray, he followed neither Light nor Dark, neither Jetiise nor Dar’Jetiise. He followed the Resol’nare.

Self-sufficiency was Yasha’s goal since the first day she took the dockets of Katlaydr. Could she not carry that forward to her daughter’s care?

“As a family… we are a family… aren’t we?” The dawning of a new security flowed languidly into her bone cage. Inhaling a sniffle, Yasha relaxed her muscles in Kain’ik’s embrace. The man who watched over mother and daughter was neither prepared to nor preparing to leave.

“I always thought this was temporary… something you’d sacrifice for until Adara was old enough, or okay. That I was stealing time from Caz, Nibs and the kids on Myrkr… you want to be here. I’m not a burden to you.” Questions still lingered, forced upon her psyche by a lifetime of so-called family either abandoning her, or outright throwing her down. Finally the outer shell was breaking. Tears done, Yasha nuzzled for emotional intimacy’s sake.

She shuddered out a cleansing exhale, and nodded.

“We will… it’s going to be okay… it has to be okay… we’re going to make it.”

 

[Yasha Cadera]

Answers came in the silence of a comforting isolation, hemmed in by the arms of a man, who made it his business to bring a young woman through whatever crucible presented next.

This was the strength of Manda, a constant familial becoming misunderstood and misinterpreted outside the Vode. The Mandalorians were a culture, a religion, a movement impossible to quash. Despite the blood it would take to spill to rid the universe of every Mandalorian, more would always remain.

You couldn’t kill an ideal. It was in such chaotic times, Yasha and Kaine’s best and only bulwark. The horror and shock of Baiko’s passing and the fall of Commenor faded with the kinetic sensation of being held. Affection, safe and warm, was the cure.

The embrace lingered, until Yasha stretched languidly and stood up, with a timid and oddly shy sort of smile. “I’m ready to take on the kids.”

Yasha offered both hands to help Kaine up, moving backward across the floor until her back collided softly with the wall beside her bedroom door.

“Take off your armour, silly old shabuir.” [member="Kaine Australis"] [member="Beth Australis-Mantis"]

 

[Yasha Cadera]

A timid grunt and raised shoulders met [member="Kaine Australis"]’ kiss. He was a cheeky man, hemming her in protectively as he sought a moment of affection and normalcy in her staunchly celibate life.

“I will never get used to that.” Yasha whispered, her eyes shut to the world round them. “Luck, eh? Is it luck which is keeping you mobile, old man?”

Hissing out a breath, Yasha slid the back of her head onto the wall and went to take another inhale… which stopped short as her nose scrunched. A gigantic sneer stole her pretty face.

“Blech! Go sanisteam, good Manda don’t make me smell you!” Yasha whacked at his shoulder playfully, dancing around in mock disgust of a man finally stripping days-old untreated and battle-worn armour and armour weave.

“Probably enough to make Tamar groan and reach for her sidearm.” Since ‘going native’, Tamar took to wearing her new beskar’gam, and a specially procured blaster pistol at her side at all times. Yasha was proud of the wet-nurse and mother, and was hoping to reunite Tamar to her children soon on Manda’yaim.

Watching in passive interest as Kaine stripped his ‘gam plates, Yasha mused at how traditional he took the act. It was akin to religious, she supposed, where her and her father’s armour was mag-locked for easy removal.

“Kain’ik? I’m going to curl up with Bethy and Adara, give them some much needed hugs and kisses from Buir… you’re coming, right? We can stay a family for tonight… you know, before you go back to Myrkr.”

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“Kain’ik?” Yasha reached for him, pressing her lips together before ducking in and kissing his cheek. “I love you.”

But I don’t deserve you, she seemed to say, disconnecting and watching his shorts clad body move. On her way to her bedroom, where Adara and Bethany rested, Yasha stepped into Reyn’s bedroom and scooped up their little boy. The toddler gurgled and nuzzled into his mother’s embrace, still asleep.

“We’re sleeping as a family tonight, all of us.” Yasha said meekly, massaging her son’s back as she walked to her room. “Mhi ba’juri verde... and warriors entrench.”

Kissing their son’s hair, Yasha smiled soberly as she looked Kaine’s retreating form over. Tucking her toddler into the gigantic bed beside his sisters, Yasha eased into the sheets and pulled her arms around [member="Beth Australis-Mantis"] and cuddled the girl into her chest.

Must everything Yasha wanted be entangled? [member="Caz Australis"] and [member="Nibsani"] were amazing, strong women, both collectively and individually better suited to Kaine’s bed than her. While Nibsani was off in the galaxy, Caz was the steady heart, who held the Australis Aliit together.

Yet, the way could be easy, Yasha thought... she wasn’t blind, she saw the way he looked at her. The words he wanted to say. Could she let go? Become what her heart wanted? But it felt like being a thief of time, stealing the hours he presented willingly as a gift. Cuddled up with her children around her, Yasha thought back to the words. She’d never said them in mando’a, but Epicant. Yet... they were so easy. Weren’t they stronger when they were together? When they were apart, did they still not have each other’s back? They were raising warriors as Beth proved. Yasha shut her eyes and kissed Beth’s hair as Reyn whimpered and rubbed his eyes. Blue eyes.

“Baba? Buir... why I in Mama’s bed? Mama?” Reyn wept, his sister Adara rubbed at her own eyes and opened her arms, cuddling Reyn up. Yasha watched the children cuddle, and nudged onto her back. What was she doing? He was already married.

[member="Kaine Australis"]

 

[Yasha Cadera]

Flickering illumination coated the Mand’alor’s bedroom in a slight warmth of midnight glow. Barely present, the small amount of light oriented Yasha to the space, reminding her in waking or sleeping that she was not back in the Nether from whence she came. While incapable of nightmare or dream, Yasha still knew the sensation of waking in a bought of abrupt concern. None of that tonight. Yasha was surrounded by love.

Nestled in Yasha’s room, the small Australis-Mantis aliit fell in varying modes of slumber. Adara rolled over and snuggled up with Beth, the girl subconsciously attempting to make the panic of the last few days better for her older sister. Yasha kissed Beth’s head, smoothing her blonde hair and bringing the covers up to Beth’s chin.

“I love you, Bethy. I’m going to make this better, promise. My little sunspot.” Yasha craned her head up as [member="Kaine Australis"] walked in. Shirtless and simply clothed, he was breathtaking. An apex predator at the end of his prime, persistent and beautiful. Breath caught in her throat, Yasha propped up on her elbow to watch how he resigned to a less than ideal sleeping situation for his kids. His love. While Yasha refused in her devotion to fall down the coiling twists of that lover’s road, out of propriety, out of deference to his wives, lying in the half-light of her bedroom as Kaine tucked in, Yasha realized…

… the only thing wrong about this situation was how she perceived some terrible imagined slight. Reyn tumbled over Yasha’s hip to nestle between his parents, and Yasha remembered the nausea, the shrill of terror at another child, with no riduur. The Festival, she’d gotten too drunk, she’d joined the revels and gotten swept away…

… in an old friend, who was there for her, when all other lights went out. Kaine’s grin, his laughter of happiness as he picked her up, carried her to the couch to assuage her concerns pulled her through the secret pregnancy. After Adara, it had to be secret. It had to be… after Adara, there was too much cause for concern. Caz was there, rubbing her shoulders and giving love without ceasing. Coaching her through. Yet Kaine… he held her belly in his hand and spoke of all the wisdom and love he would share with his boy, their boy. Genetics notwithstanding, the child was welcome. The child was his. Yasha learned despite her grief, that she lived in a loving family, Gray and Baiko near, Kain’ik on Mandalore or scurrying about… Ambrose, even Peggy and Girak. An exhausted young woman wriggled until she turned onto her opposite hip, cuddling Reyn close so Kaine could have more room on the bed. Reaching her top leg over his hips, Yasha let her ankle rest on the back of Kaine’s knee, pulling him that extra inch closer.

“I am loved… and so are you, buir.” Tugging the covers over Kaine’s chest, Yasha let her fingers brush his arm. Reyn quaked, stretching his little toddler body and rubbing his eyes with lazy fists. Kissing his hair, Yasha clucked her tongue to soothe him. The thought that they could keep it secret, a whisper between them, if Caz and Nibsani allowed it played across her face.

“Kaine?” Yasha plucked her courage on a pulled thread, fingers lingering on his unclad shoulder. “Kaine, I know it’s not the right time to ask, b-phhhttbbtbthththhh.”

And just as Yasha prepared to speak words of familial bonding, Reyn flopped his hand into his mother’s mouth and nudged between them. She pulled his hand out of her mouth and inspected it, leaning up to grab a tissue from her headboard. "Eeewwww Ram'ika, was he eating nut butter before bed? Blech, right in my... is this play clay? Aww come on."

 

[Yasha Cadera]

“Eeeuuch groosss.” Yasha wiped her mouth and took a sip from the cup of water Tamar always put next to her bed. Swishing the water in her mouth, Yasha eased off the bed to the fresher, gargling away the taste of play clay as [member="Kaine Australis"] laughed.

There she was, Mand’alor the Infernal, a warrior beyond renown who defeated challenges from Bastion to Kamino... washing clay out of her mouth from her son’s flopping hand.

Yasha burst out laughing in her fresher, clutching the counter as she slowly laughed herself to kneel on the ground. Was that how she wanted to ask? Laying beside their kids with a mouthful of clay? It didn’t help that Kaine was staunching his own laughter. A burst of giggles sunk her. Wiping her mouth with a hand towel, Yasha leaned against the open door and watched Kaine cuddle his son on his chest, knuckle in his teeth. Lying with a toddler on his chest, Kaine was beautiful. Fighting to let the girls sleep, Kaine was beautiful. The alarums and concerns of State dissipated in this place, their personal bastion from the dangers of Mandalorian life. Yasha could never be free of her duty, not in a way which would bring her peace. For years now Yasha knew she was meant to die, meant to battle until the sunken end of a beskad, or a lightsaber, or a stray sniper’s bullet. She brushed her hand to her stomach, where the scar of the civil war used to reside. Gone now, thanks to Jaster’s use of the Aspha Serum.

Even then, in the excruciating pain of the serum which killed many who attempted the panacea’s healing, Kaine was there. He held her as she roiled, throat burning with guttural, animal screams. As her limbs grew, as her scars healed and her heart grew strong, he smoothed her hair and held tight, hidden away at Gray and Baiko’s estate on Concordia. And when his father’s soul plagued him, after his deal with Vesull, Yasha was there for him. Holding and soothing him. Rocking him in her arms. When Raiz and Cass's son passed, Yasha charged in, taking care of all the arrangements for her best friend, for Dmitri's grandfather, whom she held without ceasing as justice was done. Kaine helped her grow up, mature in a way nobody else had, he was patient, and followed her boundaries.

“Oh? Was I?” Yasha gulped. “Saying something, I might’ve said some...”

“Buir? I’m fthiwsty.” Adara whimpered, rubbing her sleepy face. Knees depressing the mattress, Yasha smiled and reached to get her daughter a sip of the water, holding the glass steady as Adara sipped away then curled back up, nuzzling into her sister. The young Mand’alor shimmied back under the covers, nestling up to put her head on Kaine’s shoulder, her arm around him and the boy. Their boy.

“I was going to be selfish, ask for what I want. But… I also don’t want to hurt anyone. You, Caz, Nibs… you belong together in a way I never will. All I can offer are promises and secrets. I can love you, but could we do so in public? Free... I want Reyn to know he’s legitimate, with both parents who loved and wanted him, not the product of some drunken tryst that went too far. Can we tell the truth? That… that after years of being widowed, I took comfort in my confidante, and fellow parent? That Nibs cuddled me up on Myrkr and Caz kept us safe and warm, while I recovered from giving birth?

I was going to be selfish, Kaine… and I’m ashamed… but political life is so complicated all I want to do is hide in this, to hide this, so I have one place where we can be a family, and nobody else is looking in. You’re here for me when I have no one. You love my children, and you love me… but maybe the day’s too emotional and maybe I’m talking through my grief, because I feel soft and safe even though this day has been the worst all of us have had in years and I’m babbling like a teenager, when all I want to do is leave the kids here, take you back to your room and kiss you. But that’s selfish, and I can't. I'm too emotional and raw. I promised to give my own desires up, lay them at Manda's feet and be the Manda's mouthpiece. My life is a commodity of the Empire, as is everything else I have.”

 

[Yasha Cadera]

Love was. It was not defined by hastily spoken words, or confined to cultural expectation. What [member="Kaine Australis"] and Yasha built usurped tawdry definition as the Mando’ade took strongholds for their own.

They were not lovers, but they loved. ​

​

They were companions and comrades. ​

He, the elder helping heal the wounds in Yasha’s young and naive heart. He sacrificed time, effort, credits and his life with his own wives to teach Yasha how to relax and enjoy the security of a family which would not abandon her, to death or villainy. Yasha experienced too much terror and abandonment to raise her own children without aide.

This was a home of healing. A place for rest. As Kaine sang for their shared children, Yasha nuzzled into the covers with [member="Beth Australis-Mantis"] and did nothing but listen. In the song, her answer.

The tension in the Infernal relaxed, her head drifting to the pillow. Baiko, her true and loving mother, was dead. In the morning, Yasha would have to tell Gray, and hold together the family on Concordia, between her work as Ruler.

The Mando’ade waited for no moment of compassion, or day off. Their needs came before all and as Yasha drifted off to the loving vision of her companion, the chaste definition of their affection soothed the self-proclaimed selfishness, the worries and horrors off. Yasha was safe here, in this bed with her tiny family. Adara and Reyn slept the graceful sleep of children with no fears, and their mother began to follow.

Everything would be alright. Just as Kaine promised, it would be alright. One day Yasha would have a complete life. Her duty to their People would be fulfilled, or continued the pangs of lost family would pass, and she would be a member of the vode, a riduur to a good Mandalorian, buir to safe and happy children.

Everything was going to be alright, Kaine promised with his lullaby, with the way he held the children so Yasha could rest. The terrors of their painful lives faded for a delightful and healing balm.

The young ruler slept, arms wrapped around her oldest daughter, her little ones nestled agains their father’s chest.

 

[Yasha Cadera]

Sometime during the early morning hours, Aiya and Tamar bundled up all three children and deposited them safely in their own beds. The covers, which had been taken for the children were bundled around [member="Kaine Australis"] and Yasha, alone in the now cavernous expanse of mattress the children’s vacancy left.

A dreamless young woman flopped over on her side, arm slapping mildly onto Kaine’s chest. Yasha burbled in her sleep, hair a mess of tangles around her pretty face. Nuzzling in for instinctual warmth, Yasha stretched her long limbs, arms beside her, entangled with the sheets and Kaine.

Lungs filled with oxygen, then expelled a yawn.

“Kain’ik? Mmmmhhhrrrrrhhhhh.” Yasha’s head flopped closer, as she pulled the sheets well over her head. An ‘eep!’ escaped her pursed lips, as in the act of covering her head, she uncovered her feet.

Kicking futilely at the covers, Yasha yanked her knees to her chest, and burrowed, bringing the sheets with her as she turned around, quite uncovering Kain’ik completely.

 

[Yasha Cadera]

All was warm and comfortable in her nest of sheets. Yasha snuggled into the cloud like softness of her bed and burbled back to sleep in comfort. But the Cold War was coming... eager and tactically strategic. [member="Kaine Australis"]’ foot touched paydirt simultaneously with his hand. A gurgle burst from the Infernal’s lips as the covers shuddered…

… then flung aside.

“YIPES!! COLD!” Yasha yelped, scrambling frantically up to her knees, as the sheet plopped down onto her face. “Pfftthththtbbtt I’m being attacked! Defend the borders!”

Her croaking morning voice peppered the air as Yasha flopped over, batting the covers away with her hands until she saw the perpetrator.

The cold one…

… Kaine Australis.

“Kaaaiine!” Yasha yelped, diving for him, the covers still tangled at her waist. Flopping on top of his chest, Yasha sat up and unwound her hand from the sheet, “You’re cold! Why I outta…”

And began peppering his chest with strength-less mini punches, before flopping down on his chest and covering them both partially with the covers.

“Did I steal them? Was I so good a thief even I didn’t know I did it? … rrrgh why’re you so cold?” She slid off him, nuzzling up to put her head on his shoulder. “Get under the covers, for goodness sake.”

The saucy grin sliding on Yasha’s face was priceless.

 

[Yasha Cadera]

Mischief was abounding this Sundari morning.

“Kaine Australis, behave yourself.” Yasha chuckled, propping her knee up and sliding along the covers underneath him. There was no struggle for dominance, nothing but a glorious and peaceful war. Tucking her hands onto his arm, Yasha grinned up at him, raven hair scattered across her face and pillow. His eyes shone like the water of an ever churning sea, this warmongering family man.

Adara and Reyn roared in, hopping up and down on the bed as their mother squawked and covered her head and neck.

“I’m asleep! I’m asleep!” Yasha yelped, shifting her weight to roll from side to side as Reyn climbed atop his mother and giggled in her face.

“It’s daytime! It’s daaaaay!” Yasha’s arms snatched him up, amidst a burst of high pitched giggles, and she snuggled him close.

“Daytime is it!? Is it!? Arrrrgggggggg I’ve got you, I’ve got you good, Ram’ika!” The boy giggled and wriggled, as his mother peppered him with kisses, nuzzling her nose on his mop of hair. He weaselled out and flopped over to Kaine, just as the man leaned down and kissed the young Mand’alor.

“OooooooOOOOoooooooo”, Adara’s voice broke across the room, simultaneously with a loud “YUUUCK!” from Reyn.

Yasha paused as Adara caught ‘Baba’s machination’, sniffling out a stifled laugh. “Yes, breakfast. Would’ve been a feast.”

Slapping her forearm over her eyes, Yasha huffed out a frustrated groan as Kaine spoke of barricades, grabbing his unclad shoulder and tossing his back against the mattress. She kissed him, then stopped, shocked by her own freely given affection.

A flush stole her cheeks. Lips licked, Yasha tamed her hair behind her ears and flipped out of bed to rummage around and grab her sweater, and one of Kaine’s clean shirts from the folded laundry Tamar had yet to finish putting away.

“They’re our kids, Kain’ik… Dar’ika and Ram would have the barricade down in three minutes. Besides. Pancakes! And stimcaf. Maybe some irli fruit on the side.” Padding over to him, Yasha opened the shirt and slid it over his head…

… then playfully punched [member="Kaine Australis"] in the gut, squealing as she ran out to the kitchen before he could chase her down and reciprocate.

“Ad’ike!! Heeeelp!”