Private Of Anything and Everything

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Mercy //:
//: Eshan //:

Home.

It was supposed to be the last leg of their travels. Quinn had made plans here, meant to solidify things for the future. A hand ran through her ashen hair as she paced the living room of the estate home that had been granted to her. It was towards the mountains, where snow often collected year-round. It was far enough from the capital that the estranged Eshan Princess didn't need to deal with gawking eyes as the Crowned Sith Heir descended upon her homeworld.

How annoying the snow was… all it did was remind her of what she had just lost.

Quinn quickly waved her hand, her wrist flicking with a terseness, and the large curtains shut. She didn't want to see it, she didn't want to be reminded of a moment she had been the happiest. Her footsteps echoed in the large home. Quinn had sent everyone away — only wanting this night, their supposed first night, to be special.

She even planned for a quiche in the morning.

A waste.

Quinn moved, peeling away her travel clothing and returning the golden choker to her neck. She didn't want to think anymore; she just wanted her heart to grow cold as the falling snow outside. Picking up her comm device, she dialed out and left a message with someone she knew she could trust.

Mercy had always been there. The woman was a mountain of her own creation, a constant in Quinn's life. Anything and everything always returned to Mercy; Quinn always returned to Mercy. She waited till she heard the woman on the other end. Quinn, doing her best to keep herself together, only said three words.

"I need you."

 

[Mercy]

Quinn Varanin

One could say a lot about the monster that was named Mercy.

That she was a ruthless, merciless creature that slaughtered with joy in her heart.
That her primary motivation at any time was if it helped her in one way or another, selfish to a fault.
That where she walked, chaos followed as comfortably as a friend.

But one could not say there wasn't a strange sort of loyalty within her. One that made her move mountains in service of those that had earned her trust and respect. Sure, it was like befriending a scorpion, it could sting you at any time. However, until it did, it was the best friend you could have. Because it would sting others for you without hesitation.

"I need you."

Mercy's reply was simple: Then I will be there for you.

And so Mercy arrived the next day at the landing pad. Her shuttle touching down, the ramp opening up for her to pass over it. The view of Eshan never stopped taking her breath away. It was gorgeous in all the right ways. Classical, picturesque, and from this high you could see so very far. Mercy's travels didn't take her here that often, but she remembered her youth.

When she spend time here with her Master's wife, Spencer Jacobs. She had taught her everything she knew about Echani culture, customs, and taught her to fight not just with ferocity and brawn, but with skill.

Expression brightened even more when she spotted Quinn coming for her, not yet aware of all that had transpired.

"It's been a while, Princess. You asked for me?"

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Mercy //:
//: Attire //:

Looking at the message, Quinn wished Mercy could have been there that night, that moment — but she would wait.

As she always did.

The sound of Mercy's arrival was announced only through the Force. Even if Quinn wasn't waiting or searching for the moment Mercy entered the Eshan atmosphere, she would know the woman was here. The Force rippled, almost quaking, as she touched down onto the planet, Quinn already waiting.

She walked, doing her best to maintain her composure — but already everything had been too much for her. Her corner felt empty, and frustration creased her brow with every thought. All she wanted was something of her own, to keep and to cherish and…

Freedom and Safety only went hand in hand away from Quinn.

She wasn't enough to stay. Quinn knew this, but to be reminded of it only made the sting worse. As Quinn drew closer, she heard the Vigo call out to her. She didn't respond — not yet — instead, she ran. She sought the comfort of the woman's size, to feel fully encompassed in the strength of those arms.

To hide from the rest of the galaxy…

In just this moment, she could have Mercy and no one else could.

When she was close enough, Quinn quickly wrapped her arms around the woman, burying her face wherever she could as she fought the urge to break down. As much as Quinn knew, she'd never be able to keep Mercy, there was still something comforting in the closeness. Another reminder that she wasn't enough or worth staying.

Her grip tightened, clutching the fabric of the woman's shirt as she squeezed, wanting to just feel something. Quinn was thankful the hangar was private, secluded from prying eyes.

"I did, and you came," Quinn mumbled into Mercy's shoulder as she gave the woman another squeeze.

"She wanted to leave, she left, I couldn't keep her safe and…" Quinn choked on the words. Saying them out loud made her wonder if she could have changed anything.

"I'm not enough."

 

[Mercy]

Quinn Varanin

Mercy was surprised by Quinn and this was a woman who wasn't surprised often.

Her eyebrows raised up but then Quinn was in her arms and Mercy wrapped them tightly around her shoulders. Holding her close, stroking her hair softly and kissing the top of her head.

"You know I will always come if you ask for it, my Núro." She said quietly, looking over Quinn's head to the entrance out of the hangars. It was a good thing she was alone. It would not due for anyone to see Quinn like this. Usually... she was strong, fierce... but the reason for it came out only a moment later.

She wasn't specific, but Quinn didn't have to be. Mercy, dumb as she was, could read between the lines when it came to some people.

"She was foolish." Mercy said finally after a moment of consideration. This... was not her forte. She did not understand emotions that weren't hungry, destructive and apocalyptic. What do you say to someone whose heart was broken, when Mercy didn't have to begin with and couldn't even start to put herself in her shoes?

"I have known you for most of my life, Quinn Varanin." Dropping the Núro reference once it was clear that Quinn needed something more. "You are a formidable creature. One of the few that I would trust my life with, one of the few I am comfortable having at my back." She gently took Quinn by her face, tilting her head up a fraction.

"Do not despair because she didn't see you for what you are." Gentle squeeze of her jaw. "I see you, I have always seen you. And even if they pluck my eyes out, I will never stop seeing you for the wonder and glory that you are."

The Tionese accent was coming out in full now. Mercy... was not often this serious or this... emotive. She made jokes, quips or threats, but rarely did Mercy get to the heart of things. But clearly that was what Quinn needed, so she spoke out of the black hole that was in place of her heart. And whenever she did... the rough and tumble gutter-speak fell away.

Leaving the outlines of whatever Mercy had left behind when she took up that new name.

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Mercy //:

The gentleness of the kiss against the crown of her head was something Quinn didn't expect. Mercy wasn't known for that; she was limited by how much she could feel, but Quinn seemed able to draw something more out of her. A bit of it brought a hope to her aching heart, but Quinn knew better than to live on little lies of hope. For what it was worth, she relished in the momentary comfort and reverence the Tionese woman would give her.

But she wanted something more.

Mercy cupped her face, the roughness of her hands against her smooth porcelain skin was craved more than she realized. Quinn often remembered longing for this intimacy from the Titan. Easily, the Princess melted. She leaned into the touch, letting Mercy comfort her with compliments and praise. The fragile confidence of the youngest Varanin drank it up and longed for more.

"I did my best, I gave everything…" She murmured as she continued to lean into the woman. The privacy of the hanger was enough for her; if Quinn could have it her way, they would no longer be talking, and Mercy would be helping her forget the handmaiden that broke her.

But Quinn was a princess, the heir to an empire, the daughter of powerful women… She couldn't always have what she wanted.

She smiled, listening to the accent of the woman, one that she had always been fond of. The rough around the edges of Mercy was attractive in its own right, but there was something special when the woman let the old her speak through.

Of course, Quinn would never admit to it, knowing how deeply the woman hated her past. Instead, Quinn rose to her toes, her hands gently cupping the woman's chin for a moment before letting her slender fingers thread through the vibrant and fiery red hair.

She drew the woman closer, needing the physical affirmation of their connection. Her lips gently pressed against the Titan's, letting her body press and mold against the woman. The kiss was brief, almost a thank-you for coming to her side. Quinn kissed the woman's cheek in reverence and want. There was a quiet hunger behind each kiss against the woman's face and lips.

"I never want you to stop looking at me," she whispered between them, "I need you to always notice me, and I'll continue to do everything in my power to draw your attention…"

 

[Mercy]

Quinn Varanin

Her large arm wrapped around Quinn's waist with ease, pulling her closer into her chest as their lips met. She breathed the Princess in with a smile and then mmm'ed softly right against her lips.

"Oh, will you, now?" Mercy murmured warmly, but gently breaking the kiss. Not to move away however. Instead, to wrap her trunk of an arm around Quinn's shoulders and guiding her. Away from Mercy's ship, away from the cold and clinic hangar and instead back to where Quinn had been coming from.

"Your royal quarters are much more comfortable than this piece of metal container." She teased Quinn in her ear as they walked. "And I would like some wine and to change out the traveling clothes for something a bit more comfortable."

As a consequence of being the sister of the Queen Quinn had access to quite a lot of comfort on Eshan.

It was always a surprise to people when the rough and tumble Mercy indicated she enjoyed to partake in the comfort herself. When she was so often a mess from the field of battle.

"Do you want me to take care of her?" Mercy asked quietly, but seriously. "She seemed nice enough... but I could throw her out of a window or something."

Anyone else it might have been a joke, but you needed to be careful with Mercy and assumptions.

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Mercy //:

Pausing, Quinn listened. Mercy wasn't wrong; the quarters she had on this particular property were far better for a reunion than the hangers. Her own emotional state seemed to make her forget where she was and the occasional prying eyes. She couldn't lose herself to any bit of emotion here; she was still her Mother's daughter at the end of it all.

There was never a time for her to be just Quinn.

Quinn remained quiet for the most part as they walked. She listened as Mercy offered to take care of the one who hurt her. As much as Quinn thought about saying yes, it was only out of childish pain. She hated hurting, but it was the cycle of her life. She wondered when others would do it now, how their betrayal would affect her.

Would she ever become like Mercy?

Her eyes moved to take in the woman, and thoughts swirled as she wondered if she could find herself so hardened and calloused. Quinn hoped not; she enjoyed the way love felt, how, outside the physicalness, it was emotionally welcoming. It grounded her, made her feel alive…

The more she wondered, the more she found herself rationalizing with everything that she could survive just on the physicality of lust and love.

"As much as I'd love to say yes…" Quinn trailed off, trying to smile — seeing that Mercy was making an attempt to make her feel better.

"I still care about her." The words flowed from her lips so easily, but a dagger slipped and sliced another part of her heart from her chest. The Handmaiden held Quinn's heart, but hearing and knowing that she couldn't protect her only made Quinn realize how unsafe she really was.

Everyone and everything burned around the Princess, like a never-ending inferno.

Would Mercy ever fall victim?

Her nose wrinkled at the thought, and she moved carefully through the hallway, leading Mercy down its familiar passageway towards her quarters. She had moved into the master bedroom — with Noelle as Queen and her parents often onboard their own vessel; there was no one in the summer home.

The entire place belonged to Quinn; it was quiet, and they were the only two there. No maids, no butlers, no staff — just Quinn… alone until now.

"You still have clothes from the last time you were here. I hung them up in the closet." Quinn gestured towards the door leading to the walk-in closet. It wasn't uncommon for Mercy to show her face on Eshan or in places that Quinn wouldn't have invited others. If anything, Mercy was more family than most people — she was her Mother's apprentice.

She waited for Mercy to make herself comfortable, and as she did, she carefully poured a rare vintage of Eshan wine for the two of them. Fruit and nuts had been put out before Quinn sent the staff away; they were untouched, but she figured Mercy would partake.

Handing the glass of red wine to her guest, Quinn sighed.

"She was nice… she is nice — but she and I can't live in the same world, it was too dangerous, she was better off as far as possible away from me." Quinn took a sip of the wine and tried to fight back another surge of tears.

"Am I meant to be alone?" She asked quietly, something in the way she said it hinted that she was starting to believe it.

 

[Mercy]

Quinn Varanin

As Quinn busied herself with the wine and the snacks, Mercy did indeed make herself comfortable.

Walking into the walk-in closet and slipping out of the rough travel attire into something more comfortable and relaxed. Sadly Quinn had to miss that transition what with her being the responsible host. But she'd realize that when Mercy walked back out, flopping down relaxed on the couch, accepting the glass as she looked up at her with a smirk. Both of them knowing what had happened.

"Oh, darling, that is truly your problem." Mercy drawled there lazily, snatching her wrist and gently pulling Quinn down to the couch with her, letting her sit comfortably next to her.

"You worry too much."

One leg crossed the other as the Lord sipped from her glass with a warm sigh.

"You are never truly alone. When you call, I answer." Gently booping Quinn on the nose. As if to correct her mind from making assumption. "How else could I treat my Núro?"

It was interesting to Mercy how vulnerable Quinn could be.

Especially considering what a powerhouse she was otherwise.

She leaned back a little, relaxing just a touch. Eyes taking her in, all of her, all at once.

A gaze that spoke of the Echani way she had been educated in.

"You are more than a discarded artifact, Quinn Varanin. I have said this to you many a time. But it is up to you to believe that."

 

[Quinn Varanin]

//: Mercy //:

Mercy had reached out and brought her down onto the couch. Quinn's breath hitched as she found herself against the woman. The closeness was something she needed, something to ground her in this moment. Her mind was being overwhelmed, drowning in the mess that her former paramour had left her in. Still, Mercy was right, and Quinn hated it.

Looking at the woman, Quinn remained silent for a moment. She reveled in the fact that Mercy had remembered their conversation aboard her Mother's abandoned ship. Knowing that, Quinn let her heart beat warmly for the Knave. Quinn knew that this was the extent of the care and fondness she could gain from Mercy — but for now, for tonight, that was enough.

The woman sipped her wine, and Quinn did the same in turn, but unlike Mercy, who savored it, Quinn finished hers quickly. She shifted, her hand moving Mercy's leg that had tucked against the other. Slowly, the Princess sat upon the woman's lap, a hand caressing the curve of her sharp jaw gently.

"It is my problem, one that I do my best to keep to myself." Quinn sighed as she ran her thumb gently over the tenderness of Mercy's bottom lip.

"You do come when I call, but you're notorious for making me wait… Knave." She grinned, knowing that was part of the game, part of the push and pull between them. At times, Quinn felt special, someone that Mercy might put above others, but there was that reminder that, while she felt that way, she would never be what she wanted to be, the woman.

Quinn paused, letting the woman's words sink into her mind. As much as she wanted to fight it, Mercy was right. She was something far more valuable than a trinket her Mother had abandoned in space. Sometimes she didn't feel important, but she needed to believe it.

"I appreciate the pep talk," Quinn smiled, her body leaning into the mountain of a woman. She felt small and yet protected in a sense — she wanted to believe Mercy wouldn't let anything terrible happen to her, that she would protect her if things came down to it.

But Mercy was unpredictable, for the most part.

"I didn't just call you for your words to comfort me…" Her voice lowered as she leaned forward, lips pressing against Mercy's cheek.

Hands moved along the relaxed clothing as she sighed softly against the woman's rough skin. There was a renewed reverence in her touch, a want, a desire as she nuzzled her face into the crook of the warlord's neck.

"Your Núro needs you… My Herunín…"

 

[Mercy]

Quinn Varanin

Her arm settled underneath Quinn to lift her up, allowing their faces to brush easier.

"Mm, do I make you wait?" An innocent tone that was belied by the mischief apparent in her eyes. "I hope it's worth it then..." Teasing her as Mercy often did. Rough fingers slowly trailed her shoulder, up against her jaw. She always took her time. Which was often surprising, because Mercy usually wasn't someone who had any patience whatsoever.

But perhaps that had to do with... knowing Quinn wanted it fast.

And if Mercy enjoyed one thing, it was to deny someone what they wanted... and made them crave it even more.

"I do like it when my Núro needs me..." Mercy murmured warmly, looking up at her, which always amused her. It was usually the other way around. "Are you still my Núro?" Fingers running up her throat.

"You have been quite busy with the affairs of the Sith Order..."

Every word slow, measured, taking her time with it. Punctuated by a little stroke, exploring the lines of her face, her neck.