Numb.

[Drogh]

Nar Shaddaa (The Smugglers Moon)

Nar Shaddaa, what was there to say that hadn't been said? This great titan, beast of a planet. Every inch of this moon was covered in beauty hiding rot. This was a place morality and restrain came to die, as it gave way to bleeding excess and want. The modern, silk and steel towers of the commercial machine pierced high into the polluted sky. Great blasting lights and signs of sex, drugs, alcohol and what ever detestable and deplorable desire credits could buy. It was beautiful and disgusting, by design of course. However this was the nice area, relatively speaking. There were pits of ruin and decay, the forgotten armpit of the planet, where business was more brutal, and lusts even more deranged. This was the shiny poster boy of the planet, the part everyone wanted to see. Naive youth that would stumble into a world that looked appealing, not the true darkness that made this truly destructive and ruinous machine churn.

Drogh had of course flown here, he had experience with the planet before, although he always preferred Coruscant. Coruscant had expectations, it had a history, pride and dignity. It was not some festering planet where the hedonists indulged in their own self destruction, at least it wasn't supposed to look that way. It was a trophy, broken, divided, shattered and old , but a name can go along way in a galaxy like this. Any empire would make Coruscant their capital, but who in their right mind would make Nar Shaddaa theirs? As Drogh landed on one of the many parking docks, paying off whom ever had had too, dealing with the tedious yet mercifully short paper work. He had abandoned his filth ridden cloak, forgoing a much more casual appearance. A simple leather jacket, wearing simple back trousers. Of course he still bared that gaunt, half starved bald face of his, he wasn't going to leave with any Twi'lek, not that he cared.

Yet he wasn't alone. Drogh having company was rare, but loneliness was starting to take it's toll, even for him. Besides he didn't know this person very well, and was doing this for slightly sadistic enjoyment. She was not exposed to this side of the galaxy, to war perhaps, but not this. Drogh knew this, this was everything he was, he felt almost at home on Nar Shaddaa, the great choking planet that it was. However, he could feel it as well. The pulsating heart of this place, the countless souls and voiceless swarming in a sea of madness, he had to numb him self to the force. Cut it off. Drogh for what ever reason had this natural ability to feel planets, their people. This was a occurring and he could halt it by drink and drugs, something he craved.

He waited for [member="Jairdain"] patiently, as the chaos of the docking s though him. Giddy youngsters, mature gangsters, and those who just were flat out strange, Drogh among their number.

 

[Jairdain]

She moved with a sense of confidence that lied about her being blind. The only sign of that was how unfocused her eyes were. Being able to see life and use that to guide her steps, she followed Drogh off the speeder he had hired.

They had been at the same party on Veradune, but had not actually met. Her state of mind had been and still was in pieces. To the point she had not even noticed him then. However word of mouth had reached both of them and he could help her.

For once, the young woman had reached out to stranger for help. She needed to forget...to put her pain and loss aside. At least for a time and he could provide for her. Travelling to the smuggler's moon of Nar Shadda, he was taking her to a place she would probably regret when her mind was back in place. Right now though it wasn't and that did not matter to her.

"So, what is this place?"

[member="Drogh"]

 

[Drogh]

Drogh felt some what guilty. He couldn't deny this, even he thought he was doing some thing generally wrong. She was vulnerable, she was going though a difficult moment in her life, even outright telling Drogh this, she wanted to forget, to numb her self. Drogh was perhaps the least qualified person in the galaxy to handle this, he wasn't even sure why he did it. Yet again, it was out of some what selfish reasons, he didn't want to be alone. Drogh was a frantic abuser of substance, he drank, he did drugs, spice, death sticks, what ever he could get his hands on, this is how he dealt with pain, and she wanted in. Yet, he told him self she wanted, she wanted to be here, she asked to be taken to a place like this, it was her own fault.

"Come on now Jairdain, you don't know where we are?" Drogh said, taking a heavy breath. He felt the frantic docking pay, he smelt the scent of perfumes, striking into the air, fruity, synthetic, refined and yet also some what overwhelming, not to mention the mixture of the strange scent that aliens gave off, mixing into a miasma of smell that borrowed deep into ones nostrils. Drogh looked around, great grotesque giants, thin creatures, pretty and petite, and simple average humans with the largest grin on their faces. "We're on Nar Shaddaa, come, take my hand." Drogh said, offering his hand. He couldn't the last time he ever did just a kind gesture, the last time he ever held some one else hand. Did it feel natural? No it didn't, but, for what ever reason, be it pity, a guilty conscious ,or simple loneliness, he didn't want to hurt her.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

For the blind woman that had been in battle many times, to not have been exposed to something like this before might be a shock. However, battlefields did not lead to worlds that were living casinos and technological wonders.

If she had been in her right mind and not the lost, confused husk she was, this trip would never have happened. A time would come where she was going to regret this time in her life and maybe a small part of her knew this. Not listening to it though, she turned to drink and now maybe even to more. Drogh offered her this to her and more.

She could sense within him that he was lonely and unable to admit it to himself even. Not on a conscience level though. They made an odd couple, but Jairdain did not think of that. Any attention that was paid to them was only glancing before whoever it was looked away. Sometimes being blind was a blessing.

Accepting the hand Drogh held out, she allowed him to help her onto the solid ground around them.

"I know what planet we are on since we already talked about it, but not there on the planet we are."

Geography meant little to her, but names did.
​
[member="Drogh"]

 

[Drogh]

Drogh smiled, a rare smile. This smile was not choked by cruelty or malice, a desire to hurt or simply mocking. It was a true smile, one he hadn't done it what felt like years. "Does it matter?" Drogh said, his voice oddly relaxed. Drogh began to walk off, leading her by the hand outside of the docking bay. As the automatic doors opened before them, a beautiful, gushing, a stellar landscape was set out before them. Yes Nar Shaddaa was home to countless gangs, Hutt Cartels, and gods knows what, for this moment at least it was truly opening. Great neon lights blazed out, holovid commercials blasting out, some on massive screens hanging form skyscrapers. Strange and bizarre alien species, buzzing about with unbelievable excitement. There was a ecstasy in the air, a true joy, as depraved as it might be. For a moment, it looked like a urban heaven. Yet, despite this Drogh felt a aching pain in his head, as the planet flowed into him. The countless souls, the billions, he felt them in a vague hue of life, yet as pretty as it might seem, it was one hell of a headache to deal with.

The true smile curling into a forced one, to hide his pain. "Jairdain, this is ours." Drogh said. He hadn't felt this way in along time, was it love? No, not love, some thing more shallow then that. Friendship? No, it couldn't be, he barely knew her. Was it the simple fact he was in company that actually desired him, the fact he was in the presence of some one who wanted him around? That was a feeling, no matter how small or fickle, was something he almost had forgotten.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

"No, I don't suppose it does."

There was humor in her voice, a touch of it showing through even though she had started to lose that side of her. In her downward spiral, some things had started to leave her. Humor was one of them. A tiny bit of the real Jairdain remained though, but it was buried under layers of drink and the now desire for something more. This man had far greater connections than she did and she trusted Drogh to give her what she craved.

As he led her out of docking bay and out on the streets, she took it all in through her senses. Smell and sound. Then the emotional feeling of the world around them. Here the people came and went through life some never knowing anything more than this word. Being here brought to Jairdain another sort of pain. It was here her love had grown up. A man she had loved enough to let go and now wondered if he would return to her.

Through her own pain, she suddenly felt some from Drogh. Their physical contact gave her a closer read and understanding of him. What she felt about being lost, alone and lonely was something he lived with every day. Hers was fleeting, while his was forever. Yet, she sensed he did not want sympathy. More he simply wanted acceptance and that was something she could offer.

"If this is ours, let's go take it."

That small bit of her that remained pure spoke up and gave her confidence. It might also carry over to Drogh.
​
[member="Drogh"]

 

[Drogh]

The smell of strange spice stinged in the air, as Drogh led them. Shrieking whistling sound of ships flying overhead added to the distortion and beautiful incoherence of the planet. It was a place many came to lose themselves, Drogh intended to do that, with someone by his side for a change. As radiant synthetic lights beamed and flared, dancers out in the streets adversisting the newest degeneracy that was on offer, everything was so full of life and madness. Drogh could feel Jairdain, her hand in his hand, a small comfort, and yet her mind was ringing with a pain he was far to familiar with. Isolation, desperation, sadness, rage, and in a way, in those dull eyes Drogh thought she saw something in Drogh too, the same pain that reeked off him, was her own. Even in this moment, he could never truly escape it, even now. So he would numb, make it fade, bury it with drink and drugs, till one couldn't even recognize your own mind and body, until it was all a mere blur and the pain faded with it. It wasn't a healthy way, it wasn't a good way, but it was his way and it kept him from putting a blaster between his eyes.

Drogh saw a nightclub, grand lights shamelessly screaming its name "Obelisk", in shining passionate red. Yet, outside there was a long drawn out queue, just standing from here he Drogh could sense the unnerving anticipation as the crowd begged to be let in. However Drogh also noticed, just beside the queue there was a "VIP" entrance. Drogh didn't have any VIP tickets, so he'd just try 'trick' his way in. Drogh wasn't really good at the jedi mind drink, he hadn't had any official training in it, but sometimes he'd get lucky. Drogh approached a Trandoshan, that had the passive pissed off look, a constant beastil snarl carved into that rather large jaw. Feeling some what confident, more then usual Drogh approached the lizard with slightly a obnoxious swagger, a small hand gesture waving as he focused intently on breaking this things mind. "You will let us in." He said, a voice pulsating confidence. A responding smack is what Drogh was returned, as he fell to the ground, staggered dazed, honestly Drogh didn't know what he was expecting. Giving a somewhat pleading glance to Jairdain. "Kark off."The Trandoshan said, his voice like a jagged knife.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

If Jairdain had never been to Coruscant, Nar Shadda might have overwhelmed her. Even if her poor state, this world came close. If she had known where they were, she would have paid greater attention to the details, but her mind wasn't normal. Deep into depression, she had joined Drogh on this journey deeper into the darkness of spice, drugs and drinking.

Allowing her champion companion lead the way, the sounds of the world filled her ears. Smiling in a absent minded manner, she held onto the arm of Drogh. Her emotional state might be shattered, Jairdain could still sense many things. He was man that had nobody and that made him dangerous. However, tonight he had her and was proving to be a gentleman about things.

He lead them to one of many nightclubs present and attempted to gain them entrance. He approached one of the guards at a door and ordered him to let them in. Failing in that attempt, she stepped forward after offering to help Drogh to his feet. Whispering something into the ear of the guard and lightly touching his shoulder, they were let in this time. The guard giving Drogh an apprising gaze as they passed through the threshold.

"If we need to do that again, let me know."

There was no hint of berating or treatment of being talked down to, just a simple request.

Her nose guided her feet to the bar where she ordered them drinks. Once they arrived, she offered Drogh his and took a sip of hers.

@Drogh

 

[Drogh]

When they walked in they were met with a thunderous rush of energy, music and glaring lights. In front of them was a great sea of species, dancing and flashing colours, maddening flashes danced in a frantic fashion, a hideous yet extremely alluring trance of disorientation. The music was upbeat, energetic fast paced and aggressive, almost inevasive and buldgening, yet easy to dance too. Before Drogh could take in any more he was hauled off to the bar, Drogh couldn't help but feel a sting of pity for the girl, never to know this, Drogh would have to try and compensate for this. Although he was slightly impressed and quite surprised when not moments later she had two drinks in her hand. Drogh had a small smile curl around his lips, taking the drink, drinking quickly, feeling it burn down his throat, numb to it, barely even touched him. He would need more, lots more. "We need more." Drogh said, as he eyes darted to the barman, demanding more drinks, slamming a fistfull of credits on the counter. Before long, a tray of shots was laid out before them, a odd neon blue colour, with a subtle yet certain glow to them, appealing.

"Now little one, don't feel like you need to drink as much as me." Drogh said with a teasing, almost challenging tone in his voice. Despite his light frame, it took quite a bit to get Drogh generally drunk, over years of abuse one grows dull to it, needing larger and larger amounts to feel any buzz. "Oh, have you ever tried spice?" Drogh said, as his eyes looked around, predatory vicious eyes scanning for any where he could find a hit, it was Nar Shaddaa, it wouldn't be difficult, most likely could get it from the barmen if he just asked. Drogh then at almost alarming rate began taking shots with an almost dismissive ease, as his continued to look.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Even in her down frame of emotional state, Jairdain was not immune to those of others. The other patrons here exuded almost every kind there was. People like her that were depressed and trying to run away, to those seeking the pleasure and the predators waiting on their prey. If Drogh wanted to, he could certainly take advantage of her. Oddly enough, she didn't feel he would though.

As the drinks were set out for them, he spoke with a slight challenge in his tone and she shook her head. This change in her had been something recent and she was not yet a heavy drinker. She could certainly drink more than what somebody else her size should be able to, but that was more due to her connection with the Force. Her ability to detoxify herself or anybody else was a bonus.

He then asked her a question that surprised her and she shook her head.

"Not yet."

She had all the memories of Yuroic in her mind, he had taken spice. The addictive substance and he had been a victim of it. Lashing out at those he cared for, in the end he had come to her and had her take his memories away. Taking them from him, gave her an understanding of what spice could do, but she wasn't going to be a victim of it.

With that thought in mind, she picked up another shot and drank it with ease.

[member="Drogh"]

 

[Drogh]

Drogh let out a chuckle, muffled and dead against the screaming colours and beating sound. His eyes looked upwards, noticing a balcony, he caught attention of a man wearing a white suit, he wasn't even trying to be discrete as he handed out the strange coloured spice as if they were sweets. Drogh reminded himself this was Nar Shadda, where crime was legal. He needed to get up there, he gave a glance towards Jair figuring she'd be fine by herself, the women had went to war, Drogh was sure she could handle a nightclub. Yet, Drogh could sense something about her, perhaps it's how her face drifted into something almost forlornly, as if she was lost in thought. A sting of pity struck Drogh, he didn't know what it was, other then it was not worth remembering. Memories were best left drowned and suffocated, to distant and numb them to stop bringing back any old pain.



Drogh took another shot, feeling the sharp liquor tear it's way down his neck. "I won't be long." Drogh said, before getting off his seat. Like a ghost, a swirling mist of wind Drogh navigate his way past the crowd with rather odd grace. Drogh's rather lanky build had an almost disjointed swiftness to it, as he moved towards the stairs leading to the balcony. Then, Drogh sighed deeply. A rather angry looking bouncer, human yet no less intimidating with his bulging muscles. Drogh let out a deep sigh, feeling the force flicker though his fingers, despite the alcohol swirling in his system, the force still hummed to him. "Move." Drogh said softly, despite a mere whisper the voice seemed to echo through to the man, as he relented, letting Drogh pass. Drogh grinned to himself. He was met with a rather odd glare from the man. "Do I have business with you?" He said. He was human, with a fair blonde hair, cut short. His eyes a strange emerald, his face a thin pale complexion, yet avoiding a sickly glaze. He sat down on a sofa, a luxurious black leather, infront of him a glass table with strange exotic colours spread across it, some strange crystals others almost brightly coloured dust. Two beautiful ladies sat either side of him, his arms around their shoulders. He was handsome, yet Drogh instantly felt a surge of disgust at the man, maybe even envy. "I want spice, you have it?" The man considered Drogh for a moment, giving the walking corpse a judgemental yet articulate stare. "Why should I give you my spice?" Drogh felt his knuckles crack as he tensed them, forcing a bitter smile. "See that girl there, long black hair, a light tan, purple eyes, far left of the counter." Drogh said, "Pretty, isn't she?" A small smile carved it's way across the mans face.


"I'll have one of my friends bring her to me, now what about your name?" Drogh's initial reaction was to say something insulting and dismissive, yet he really wanted that spice. "Drogh." He said plainly, hardly in the mood for a chat, while relatively sober at least. "I see, so how does someone of your, 'appearance' get company like that?" Drogh chuckled to himself, staring at the table in cold reflection, that was a good question, which Drogh knew the exact answer to. Something in her life, something awful had hurt her, a lot. Pain, anger, sadness, loss, it radiated of the girl like warmth from the sun. She was hurt, and she didn't want to be hurt any more. "Loneliness I think." Drogh replied, the man recoiled slightly, his features having a strange shift, not expecting the sudden serenity.

Soon a bouncer was sent to collect the girl.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

What Drogh saw with his eyes was more superficial than what Jairdain saw. He saw only what people wanted him to see, though here there was no purpose in hiding what it was. As Jairdain looked around with the Force, she could see things on a different level. Her gaze was unfocused and maybe thoughtful as her mind drifted to Yuroic. He was one of the reasons she was here.

Here she could hide in with these people and be normal. No questions would be asked as to the real reason she was here. Only their desire to make her or anybody else happy. A time and opportunity to escape reality and a chance to never return. The darkness swirled through everything, but it did not touch Jairdain. No random predator approached them or her when Drogh said he wouldn't be gone long.

The drinks went into her, but with barely a thought, she performed a Force skill that kept her mind clear. At least for now. Not long after Drogh left, a man approached her and informed her he had been sent to retrieve her. Lightly touching him with the Force, she could tell he was telling the truth. Setting the empty glass down on the counter, she turned to follow him.

"Lead on."

[member="Drogh"]

 

[Drogh]

Drogh could feel the man's hard gaze on him. His emerald eyes flaying him, tearing him apart with a long deciphering stare. Drogh didn't like it, one bit. He returned the man with a cold glare of his own, dead pale blue eyes meeting his green ones in a subtle battle. His eyes weren't trying to find something more than what they were staring at, they just whispered 'Kark off'. "So tell me Drogh." The man spoke again, his lips curling into some kind of smug grin, as if he had discovered some great secret. "What's your poison, what can I offer you?" Drogh looked at the table in front of him. The dazzling powders spread across like some distorted ocean. Drogh knew there was only one question, how much pain was she in? Drogh could tell Jairdain had flickers of guilt within her, though outwardly she showed almost shocking confidence, there were lingering amounts of fear that stalked her. She was hesitant, if nothing else.

Drogh wanted something strong, powerful, vivid and destructive. He wanted his mind obliterated, his faculties annailiated. Yet this was her first time, so he'd have to relent on something more milder, something he could afford was another condition he had just pondered on. The Dark Hand didn't pay very well, not with Drogh going out of his way to be more a hindrance than anything else. Jairdain had credits, at least he assumed she did but this was his treat, some how to Drogh it didn't feel right making her pay. Drogh looked up, meeting the mans smug grin yet there were hints of impatience curling around his features, he was expected to make a decision soon. "Daydream." Drogh said, the man smiled nodding.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

She allowed the man to guide her through the cacophony of the facility to the more quiet and secluded suite where Drogh was conversing with another man. Jairdain did carry confidence on her, but her eyes showed the pain she was in. It wasn't mental this time, but emotional. The woman would cling to pretty much any rock right now and that was Drogh.

He was proving to be a good and solid rock. Not taking advantage of the hurting woman and opening doors for her she never knew were there. If there had been any doubt about credits, if they looked at Jairdain, her clothes were fine made and if high quality. She was something more than a simple person that would come to an establishment such as this. She had the credits to pay for the night if that ever came up.

Hearing only the answer Drogh gave as she walked in, she felt the eyes of others in the room on her. Sensing her friend, she joined him at his side.

[member="Drogh"]

 

[Drogh]

The man had his eyes fixated on the lady. They were the same stare, breaking down the components that made the women yet there was something rather, perverse about it. Those eyes took time to enjoy the figure that sat down. Drogh clenched his fists, feeling slightly lucky that Jairdain was blind. Drogh wasn't even going to lie himself to make himself feel any better, Drogh knew exactly what the man wanted, especially when the two other ladies were dismissed. Drogh hated himself a little bit more, how he had essentially used Jairdain so he could get drugs of this man, how low was he? A moment of genuine doubt crossed his mind, one thing came to his head. This was wrong. All of it, every second of it was kark'ed up, here she was a vulnerable women, desperate for any kind of distraction, affection or anything to numb the pain and Drogh was showing her the worst way to deal with her emotional problems. Drogh for one of the few times in his life was having something of a moral crisis. He didn't know what to do, other then to feel incredibly sick with himself.

Drogh didn't like this train of thought he was going though and decided to put a decisive end to it. Without so much as a word or even a nod of acknowledgement to Jairdain he began to make a nice line of Daydream for himself, getting a thin straw and sniffed like his life depended on it. His mind became a blur, a gentle calm blur. Like being smoothly rocked by the ocean. Everything had a beautiful flare to it, as the colours seemed slightly brighter, the sound slightly sweeter and everything seemed slightly less awful. Drogh took a deep sigh, laying back in the sofa, trying to block everything out.

The man with the blonde hair simply smiled, appreciated the women's figure a bit more, not even having the respect to hide it. "My, don't you look magnificent?" The man said, his faked awe seemed rather theatrical. "Tell me, what do they call you, other than beautiful of course?" The man said, deliberately playing into the cheesiness of his tone, with a slight grin of self amusement.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Taking a seat next to Drogh, Jairdain wouldn't entirely miss the attention paid to her by the man on the other side of the table. Even in her fractured state, part of her still tried to cling to some sense of sanity. It was growing dim though and she was losing herself in her misery and depression. Tonight the chance was offered for her to forget the pain of her life and drown it out with drink, drugs and nights filled with empty passion.

That was what this man wanted from her and that part in her cried out. It made a single last attempt to regain control before the broken side squashed it down again. A small internal vow was said that this was going to be the last night of something like this...tomorrow was a new day and it would defeat the broken part and regain control. That part of her had done before and it would do it again.

What actions Drogh did were on him and she paid him little mind. Again, only partially aware of what was going on. For now, she stayed at his side and rested her hand between them on the couch. With as much focus as she could give the man, Jairdain lifted that hand and hovered her it just above her heart.

"I am Jairdain. And you?"

Slime...

[member="Drogh"]

 

[Drogh]

Drogh stared up at the ceiling. The flashing lights still crying, burning with a fervor. They seemed some how brighter, more intense and cruel. He didn't focus on Jairdain, or the man. He desperately didn't want too, he wanted to forget, as the sound of the hated beat grew, the sounds merged into one ear breaking drumming beat, as he felt his thoughts merged into one. Daydream was a strange drug, not necessary intense or strong, but it had the effect of making everyone seem like a blur, time was distorted, reality crumbled but only slightly. It wasn't enough, not nearly enough. Then something hit him hard, a stab into the gut. Hate. Anger, rage, frustration, burning mounting hate. He fixed his gaze on the man and for the briefest moments he wanted to ring his neck him, destroy him and end him. This man would take advantage of Jairdain, that much he knew. Yet the flash of anger came as quickly as it went, and soon the melancholy apathy returned. He turned to Jairdain, looking into those pale lavender eyes. He wanted to say so much to her, he wanted to tell her to stop, to run for her life, to get off this planet, to get away from him, before she destroys herself. But the words didn't come out. Just a pale, almost pleading smile lurked it's way across his dead lips.

A smirk crossed his lips, as the man lapped up the desperation Jairdain was oozing. What Drogh had said to the man, about being lonesome made her ideal prey, She was hurt and he was going to 'help' her. Emerald eyes sank deep into those lavender ones, as he moved forward slowly, methodically. "Oh my name?" The man said, partially dismissive, partially offended . "My name hardly matters, but tell me my dear, have you ever tried spice?"

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

This was not the first time Jairdain had been in an establishment similar to this. Her first and only other time had been at a casino on Coruscant. That night that small voice had cried out then too. Like then her current mind had pushed it back down. Tonight it was stronger though and recoiled from the man's offer.

She was an empath and picked up on the flash of anger from Drogh and latched onto it. A small part of her, the one that wanted to live a normal life grabbed ahold of it and took it from him. Her fist clenched together at her side and as much as her conscience mind tried to resist that little voice, it couldn't.

At the moment, that small part of her wasn't strong enough to enforce itself, but that flash of anger was enough for it to hold onto.

The man asked if she had tried spice before and she shook her head. Unknown to her she had done it before though. At the night in the casino, she had been given spice by the man she had slept with. When he said his name didn't matter, she gave him an odd look.

"Why not?"

[member="Drogh"]