Private Nobody From Nowhere

[Niysha]

There was a little spark, a tiny flame in Aliris' aura. That warmth had been doused a bit when the two of them had stumbled into a distinctly depressing conversation. It was good to see it returning, if only just a spark. Not every child in the galaxy got to be happy, and being able to help even one more reach that point was worth the... marked discomfort.

Niysha was well aware that her nerves had been clenched for the entire conversation. She couldn't really do much about it. It would be far too dangerous to relax, especially this close to a Jedi temple, especially while speaking to a Jedi. Still, it was getting tiring. At least the caff was helping to clam her nerves a bit.

"Tell me about your friends," she prompted. "You're thinking about them a lot. They must be very important to you." It was clear they weren't on this planet right now, at the very least. This wasn't even recon, and Niysha had no intentions of running afoul of any Jedi any time soon. Hopefully, her luck would hold out long enough to get off of the planet peacefully.

Until then, though, she'd found something more important than tinkering with her stupid puzzle tube.

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

"They gave me a chance when I thought I didn't deserve one." It was the short hand of it. After everything she'd done, she didn't think she'd deserved to be anything more than a Sith lackey or a criminal on the run. It took time for her to even think she was allowed to be something more than that. Her smile brightened, warmth at the memories, of the time spent with them.

" Loomi and Braze are my two closest friends. They're both amazing Jedi, both already Knights despite being so young. I- Don't really know what to say about them now, if I'm being honest. Everything about them had changed when I came back, and it's only changed more while I've been recovering. I should probably reach out to them soon."

Niysha

 

[Niysha]

Niysha was often surprised by how small the galaxy was. This time she was not. She hadn't the slightest clue that the caper she'd recently been on on a floating super-yacht in the fringe had brought her within spitting distance of Aliris' wayward friend. In fact, she'd done everything in her power to avoid getting close enough to the Jedi on that particular boat to be able to identify them. Or, more importantly, be identified.

"You should," Niysha replied immediately. She didn't need context to know that soundly. "I've lost a lot of relationships by disappearing without a trace. I wouldn't recommend it." And someone her age needed friends. Even if she didn't have them as peers, friends were important to a young person's mental health.

Of course, Niysha was keenly aware of the... hypocrisy? Irony? But she'd hardly turned out "fine" growing up alone. Maybe she was more of a cautionary tale.

So, how are you running this fixfic, Niysha? How would you have fixed your life if you had five to ten years of experience with loneliness and failure to retroactively guide your actions? "...In fact, do you want to try to send a message right now? Obviously they might not respond immediately, but if you just send them something, you'll know that you tried. That you made the effort to reconnect."

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

That stung. Aliris doubted that's why Niysha said it, but she couldn't hide the little flinch in her smile before she sipped at her tea. She had lost that closeness with her friends because of the years being unconscious. It wasn't her fault, nor theirs, but she had essentially disappeared. No, no that was just the doubt in the back of her mind speaking up again.

She lowered the glass, humming before she turned to reach into the pack on her hip. A datapad was pulled out. Regardless of if it was too late or not, reaching out was still a good thing to do, right?

:: Hey, it's Aliris. I haven't been- good at reaching out. Is it alright if I come see you? Or you come to me? I'm not sure how busy you both are. ::

Simple and to the point. Or at least as much as Aliris could. She sent the message pretty much right away to Braze and Loomi both. ".. Yeah. Sometimes trying is the best you can do."

Niysha

 

[Niysha]

Niysha nodded and gave an encouraging smile, putting down her half-empty cup of caff. This might've been a good time to pry. Aliris' aura was always complicated, but for this exact moment, it seemed catalyzed. She'd been encouraged, talked about her insecurities, taken steps to attend them... If there was any time that Niysha could expect to get an answer, it would've been now.

"You mentioned before that you were attacked," she began with a slightly cautious tone, actively trying to avoid stepping on any particular landmines. "If it was enough to put you down for years, it must have been pretty bad."

"Years" was a somewhat subjective concept for spacers. Niysha herself had seemingly lost a very long time over the course of her countless deep-space jumps. Subtle enough that she didn't notice it slipping, that it didn't affect her in the slightest. At this point, she didn't even know if attempting to quantify what a "year" was to this specific planet at this specific time was even worth the effort. It would've been useless information in a few months regardless.

But to Aliris, right now, it was weighing on her. The girl was a storm of emotions that she seemed alternatively content to stew within or utterly intent to strangle until she couldn't hear them any more. It was impossible to look away for Niysha. Her training had left her keenly curious about deep, tragic, emotional Force sensitivity, and this girl had wounds in her spirit dark enough that they seemed to affect everything she did.

"Was it a Sith? I don't exactly know how common it is for padawans to face Sith." Only mildly probing.

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

Ah, yeah that made sense to ask. It didn't really settle Aliris's mind though. What happened, she'd moved on from for the most part right? Or was sharing it with a virtual stranger why she felt her chest tighten in worry? "I- had something they wanted. A crystal with a soul within it. To get it from me, they had to.. I'm not sure what they did. It felt like they ripped something out? Whatever they did, it left me out for three years." An uncomfortable, floating in darkness amount of time. She wasn't even sure if she was aware of it while she was out in truth.

"These days it's pretty common, though. The Sith practically seek out Padawan's. Breaking the future is better than trying to fight against the Master's that know how to fight back and win."

Niysha

 

[Niysha]

That sounded about right. Niysha knew enough about Sith practice to distinguish between cowardice and practicality. A padawan was the weakest a Jedi could be. Testing one resulted in two outcomes: the destruction of a weak Jedi or the tempering of a worthy one. The first option also came with the side benefit of a potential recruit, however weak. Jedi ways frequently failed those who were unfit to use them. People like Niysha, whose emotions and desires ran far deeper, far more intense than mindful meditation and detachment could allow, would be improved by failing that sort of test.

From Aliris' perspective, of course, it would seem like attacking the young before they matured into a real opponent. Niysha was sure that happened, too, though as a seasoned coward, she did note a strong current of cowardice from that sort of thing. Testing apprentices was important; Sith did that, too, and Jedi frequently didn't test their apprentices nearly enough to prepare them for the truths of the galaxy. Preying on weaklings was a waste of time indulged in by flawed, unworthy Sith.

It might have been the closest thing to orthodox pride and patriotism she'd ever felt, actually.

At the moment, she felt a little self-conscious about actively hiding her nature while Aliris was voicing concern and vulnerability about being cornered by secret Sith. As she was a secret Sith. And was cornering her. It might have been a good idea to just continue as she was, or even swallow harder. At some level, though, Niysha entertained a future in which Aliris knew what she was and didn't look at her with suspicion or fear. That was a pipe dream; it would absolutely result in her raising her guard immediately, possibly even calling for reinforcements.

She was far too wrapped up in her own thoughts. Niysha returned to the conversation. "I realize I might've brought up something painful. I apologize," she offered quietly. "I'd kind of figured it was a physical kind of wound. I should've figured it was more spiritual."

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

"It is what it is. It's not like I've done no wrong in my life and it was somehow a cruelty I didn't deserve." She was a Sith, a thief, a murderer, all before she was accepted to this temple and allowed a chance to not let that past define her. Did it still define her, though? That was the part Aliris still wasn't sure on how to feel or think. The crystal she bled was still in it's midpoint between where she'd started to bleed it and where she'd been unable to finish. She hadn't even undone it yet.

"It felt very physical, though. A part of me had been ripped out. It's- hard to describe. Like a part you don't realize you had until it's gone? Mm.. Something like that, I guess." The padawan shrugged, letting the thought drift with another sip of her tea.

".. Really, though. You don't need to apologize. It's nice to talk about it. Not because it was nice, but- y'know. It's not as terrible as it was when I woke up. That I can tell people about it and it doesn't make me want to cower."

Niysha

 

[Niysha]

"It might be hard to describe, but it's not hard to understand," Niysha replied while running her fingertip around the edge of her empty caff cup. "At least, not to me. You seem diminished. The sort of thing that tends to happen when someone has had a life-altering change in perspective, or a big personal tragedy."

Aliris' aura had all of the telltale signs of a victim of a very specific and very acute kind of harm. The unfun kind that was felt for years afterwards, that left scars that ran deeper than one person could handle. And obviously, Niysha wasn't the person to help with that. In her experience, only time and long-term emotional care could mend that kind of wound. Her existence here would literally only make things worse.

Still, she'd managed to get Aliris to open up a bit, and that was probably quite a bit of progress all on its own. Even if she hadn't made any progress with her puzzle, Niysha had at least brought some measure of calm to this poor creature's life. That was another bald-faced contradiction of her Sith training that she'd long since confronted: "compassion is a weakness" was used to justify petty sadism far more often than it was in any way relevant to gaining personal power.

She didn't need to go over Jedi hypocrisy. Even her weak faith was more than enough to find a dozen ways they might've failed this girl.

"So," she offered quietly, moving the conversation along ever so gently. "You were handing out baked goods earlier, before I interrupted you." It was Aliris that had approached her, but there was no reason to harp on that. "Was that a temple initiative? Lothal's obviously not plated in shimmering gold, so I'd assume humanitarian programs are pretty common."

With a modest crime rate and high poverty, Niysha would gladly place her bet on less law enforcement, more charity pgorams.

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

"To be fair, I interrupted you." It was her approach that had started this conversation, all because of the puzzle tube and a bad feeling no less. Not the best reason to start to speak with someone even though she didn't regret it. The conversation turn from what ailed her, body and soul, was a welcome one. She didn't seem to hesitate on the shift of tone, smiling softer as she finished what remained of her cup.

"The temple has a kitchen we serve soup from to help feed those who need it, or just want the feeling community. It's pretty peaceful, for the most part. This was just me wanting to get out and do more than that. Go to the people who don't come to the kitchen, give them something warm. Something better than the looming issues around."

Niysha

 

[Niysha]

"The looming issues" was an oblique way to refer to the threat of what Niysha understood to be yet another Imperial incursion onto Lothal. While people in most of the galaxy had it rough, Lothal seemed perpetually doomed. Its position was part of that; being so distant from the core meant that the stabilizing, humanitarian powers that tended to operate there didn't have a lot of jurisdiction, which wasn't helped by the general political character of most of the governments that did take root so far afield. It could've been worse, of course - Sith territory was truly awful for people like these - but not much worse.

Niysha had been on more frontier worlds than she could remember, and many of them had small, local temples. She assumed they were getting kickbacks from the proper Coruscant/Naboo Jedi infrastructure at some level, but being this distant likely meant they were on their own to some degree. On frontier worlds, independent temples tended to keep their heads low and focus more on charity than law enforcement. Law enforcement under a Hutt, Imperial, or Sith hand would get you properly killed.

But it wasn't like Lothal had never been conquered before. After centuries of intermittent occupation, its people were practically natural-born insurrectionists.

Niysha caught up to her thoughts and stood, policing the table of empty cups on her way to the waste bin. When she returned, she zipped up her bag and hauled it over one shoulder. "Need an extra pair of hands? I'm not here long, but I can think of worse ways to spend the day than giving back." Once upon a time, she'd been on the receiving end of this sort of thing. It was important to keep that in mind.

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

"Wait- huh?"

Aliris had half expected this to be the end of their conversation. As a spacer, they couldn't stay in one place for long. They needed to keep moving to make money and the like, and the Padawan had sort of just appeared and spoke. It was good to talk, of course. Helped her to figure out some things to at least not be stuck in one place forever.

But, help?

She raised her hands a bit, waving them. "No that's not- .. I mean if that's something you want to do that's- fine? Um- I'm just- I don't-" Aliris was stumbling over her words. She knew it. Her expression tightened for a moment before she let out a breath and then held out the basket with a smile.

".. Thank you. I'd like that, yeah."

Niysha

 

[Niysha]

Hours of handing food to the less fortunate was mildly meditative for Niysha. Suppressing her presence while doing a repetitive task was itself flow-inducing, and on top of that, she found the quiet thrill of indulging in one of her less-engaged passions. After years of being a transient, being able to physically hand other transients a warm roll, a cup of fruit, and a bottle of clean water brought an earnest smile to her face. Sure, the circumstances were different, but being in a good enough position in her life to be able to pay forward the same temples that'd given her that kind of care when she was younger was nice.

She'd only needed one break, a couple of hours ago, when In Rhan had called her comlink. She reassured her captain that she'd be back before the evening. In had plenty of things to do on-planet, and it'd only be a few hours until sundown either way.

After emptying another basket, Niysha waited outside the small communal house she and Aliris had stopped at. She hadn't been able to stop smiling for a while. Yes, the planet was in dire straights, but physically doing something about that with her own hands made her feel like she was legitimately helping. Even if she couldn't meaningfully solve any of their real problems, she could help this little beacon of light solve a few small ones. That was empowering in its own way.

When Aliris met her outside, Niysha cocked her head to one side and held out a bottle of water. "Any more blocks on your route, Master Jedi? I've got another hour or two before I have to head back to the ship."

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

"I'm- Aliris is fine. You needn't call me master or anything." It wasn't the first time, but now, the last basket of treats in hand, Aliris couldn't let Niysha continue to refer to her as such. Not only was Aliris only a Padawan, they were both long having walked through Lothal together. There was one more place though that she had in mind. Where people could use this kind of warmth the most.

Where it was most likely that this kind of warmth wasn't going to be returned.

"The alley's behind the space station." They weren't a good place for anyone. Spice, back alley deals. The police authority did their best to keep it clean, but it was just as dangerous for them to walk around as any other. The wrong time, the wrong alley, things wouldn't end well. Around this time, though, the more dangerous groups were elsewhere.

"I appreciate all the help so far. When we get to the station, you can go back to your ship?" She wasn't about to bring someone to that place so dangerous.

Niysha

 

[Niysha]

Hmm. Niysha could see the hesitation swirling there. Sensing emotions was more art than science; there were always distinct shades that could be easily identified, but their exact meaning was often much harder to determine. Instead of cold-reading vibes, she'd need to use context clues; the area that she and In had set down in was pretty rough, on account of that's the sort of place that tended to have the best business. If she was trying to avoid exploring there, chances were Aliris was worried about getting a civilian into anything too dangerous.

This girl was precious beyond reason.

With a bright grin, Niysha held up one finger in a "wait a sec" gesture, then reached into her day bag and pulled out one of two weapons she generally kept on her in civilized areas: a stunner. She put it back in her bag after a moment and rested one hand proudly on her hip. "I appreciate the concern, Aliris, but I know what I'm getting into. That little bad boy can put a kath hound out like a light. I can generally handle disgruntled transients."

Yes, obviously, she had her lightsaber, too, but that was clearly and immediately identifiable. If you were trying to keep a low profile, it helped to approach every situation as if you didn't have a lightsaber and pretend that if you used the Force, it would immediately set off every security alarm within a kilometer.

"We'll do the full route," Niysha reassured without an ounce of fear. "Don't worry about me."

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

Aliris's expression tightened for a moment as she listened. No, she didn't want to just accept the offer. That would put Niysha in danger, wouldn't it? The stunner shown did at least let her face relax. She was, ultimately, a coward as well. Having someone who could handle themselves with her would at least give her some more comfort.

And hopefully they wouldn't have to fight anyone to begin with.

"Alright, alright. Then- Let's be off. Just stay close, okay?" She flashed a brief smile before turning to lead the way to the space port, towards the alleys and back roads. There wasn't much of a visual change like on Coruscant as one went to the lower levels. The buildings were the same, the lightning. But the vibes and feelings were all different. People were anxious, avoiding talking to one another in case they end up talking to the wrong person at the wrong time.

Tension was thick in the air.

"There's a few people who live here I like to give food. And- some kids I try to give guidance too."

Niysha

 

[Niysha]

Niysha followed Aliris into one of the seedier portions of Lothal's self-titled Capital City. She was loaded for bear and prepared for just about anything, with one of their last baskets of food and a bag full of stuff that included but was not limited to a stun blaster. Structurally, it didn't look much different from the rest of the city, though admittedly with shorter buildings. The air was slightly more visibly anxious, but that was a bit like saying that a bowl of water was wetter than a cup of water. The whole city was nervous. Degree barely mattered.

But then, Niysha was... probably not the best person to judge that. Aliris was a native, and she looked genuinely uncomfortable. She wasn't built for this; if she wound up on Coruscant or, Ashla preserve her, Nar Shaddaa she might be wildly out of her depth. To Niysha, the silence was more measurable. She understood people keeping to themselves, holing up, avoiding contact out of fear and distrust. Kaas City had been like that. Nar Shaddaa was always like that, when it wasn't openly violent.

An alley they passed sheltered two men who spoke in low tones and mean-mugged both women as they passed by. Their auras betrayed their greed and fear, but like a wild animal, neither would likely do anything if they were just left alone. There was a crash in a house they passed, followed by shouting in... some language that Niysha didn't speak. She didn't react to it; she could see through the walls, after all, and noted it was just a domestic dispute. One more small tragedy that no one could solve.

Thicker tension than normal on an already tense world didn't seem to bother Niysha much, or if it did, she did a very good job of not letting it show. There was an acute discomfort to the way that this sort of frontier city expressed its unrest: on a more densly populated planet, the air was so thick with overlapping, contradicting emotions that a single emotion rarely managed to permeate for longer than a few seconds, and only immediately following a sudden and major event. Here, with so few people, the whole city could reliably feel the same thing for an extended period of time. That, on its own, was a bit suffocating. Still, though, it wasn't nearly as bad as armed thugs or screaming gangers.

Aliris outlined their destination, and Niysha grinned warmly in response, turning her head to face the young lady she'd fully thrown her lot in with. "That's exciting. I've always felt a kinship with street urchins." On account of the whole "was a street urchin for a significant portion of her life" thing. She was remarkably comfortable in a destitute, desperate, quietly violent urban area. And, of course, she was armed in about four different ways. Niysha had every confidence that just the stunner would be enough to dissuade anything they encountered, but it was still good that she had other options.

Hmm.

The Miraluka's head inclined again, "looking" at nothing. There was a residential clearing up ahead, a small plaza area between so many businesses and apartments. Foot traffic seemed to be avoiding it entirely, but there were an easy half-dozen auras inside. Sparking together in one united mass of mixed greed and aggression. Hunger? Possibly. "Two buildings up, on the left? There's a courtyard with a small gang. At least five men, probably more. They seem ill at ease. We should probably avoid them."

Aliris Tremiru