Private Nobody From Nowhere

[Niysha]

Lothal
Some Dingy Street​

There were places in the galaxy that would always look run-down, even after centuries of dedicated work. Taris and Telos were both like that. Dantooine was a similar atmosphere, and Tatooine was legendary for it. Certain places were just always dusty, rusty, a little too old to function properly, and generally slightly desperate, no matter what anyone did to change that. Niysha'd heard the terms "gray" and "yellow" and "brown" applied to them a lot. These were the sorts of planets where,if you were born there, you largely just had to scrape your way out until your fingers were bloody, or else consign yourself to live an entire life on a liminal planet. Transitional. An entire planetary population with one foot out the door.

It was the sort of general vibe that Niysha craved. While she didn't have any real frame of reference for what "home" was supposed to mean, these planets were where she was the most comfortable. These nowhere dirt balls full of scavengers and survivors, too civilized to be frontier but too wild to be safe. Each one brought to mind the classical image of a man with no name in a trenchcoat that barely hides his blaster, drinking hard liquor to escape a dark past, only to be dragged kicking and screaming into a hero's future.

Lothal was kind of like that. It was incredibly charming, to Niysha's personal tastes. A place that she could relax, where there were simultaneously no surprises and always something unexpected. Planets like these were where she liked to set up when she was alone. In and the Dancer were still back at the spaceport, refueling and restocking for the next delivery. This meant that, for at least a few hours, Niysha had nothing important occupying her time.

The blindfolded woman had managed to - after some very suspicious looks from the yokels who called this dustball home - purchase the worst caff she'd had in months and have a seat outside a crappy restaraunt with faded, rusty paint on its outdoor seating. She busied herself with the cryptex that In had scored for her a few jumps ago, fingers playing over the different dials and facets as she fumbled slowly with trying to crack the secrets of what was inside. Her datapad - with the Miraluka accessibility app running - played a few relevant articles about ancient Sith puzzle tubes.

As she always did, Niysha kept a tight lid on her presence. It was a constant drain on her concentration, but extremely necessary. Being just another blind woman on the street with maybe a touch more of a spark of sensitivity was much, much less dangerous or important than being a rogue Force-user. In support of this, as per usual, her lightsaber was hidden away in her bag, buried under several layers of clothes, books, and a couple of tools. Under normal circumstances, this would've been enough for any random passing Jedi to ignore her completely.

Under normal circumstances, when she wasn't attempting to decrypt a Sith puzzle tube in the middle of nowhere where no one would care.

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

It was rarer for Aliris to be out of the Temple than she'd like. The looming shadow of yet another Imperial faction was over Lothal now. Would they be left alone? Forced under occupation again? Little by little it was wearing down on the shoulders of the locals. Those who came to the temple were feeling it's weight. Smiles that didn't quite meet their eyes, stress of the unknown in their shoulders. She couldn't tell them it wasn't going to come to pass. The Alliance wasn't here, and the Imperials had been spreading at an alarming rate.

She could do something, though. No matter how small. So she'd kept making them soup. Bread. Food for those who needed or wanted it. Warm their stomachs, give them something to smile about. Just being in the temple, though? It wasn't enough she'd realized. She needed to get out more, bring the smiles she could to the people.

Which turned out not to be easy.

Most of the city knew her. They smiled and waved as she passed them by, and she did the same. If she could, she'd help with the physical labor but she still wasn't fully recovered to be able to. Maybe another month and she could, but for now she offered meals. Not soup, that'd be difficult to carry around. Breads, pastries. The locals favorite specifically, a warm bun filled with jam. It wasn't much, but even the briefest smiles she could give were enough for now.

Had to be enough.

A whisper, a darkness. She'd only taken a couple steps after giving some of the dock workers their treats when she felt the shiver down her spine. The familiar sensation of an artifact, a darker one at that, affecting the Force just from it's presence. Her grasp tightened on her basket for a moment as she looked about, to find the source and whoever might be holding it.

There was no Sith, no darksider. Just an artifact was all she could sense. That alone brought some relief, but it wasn't the kind that would last. Someone had it, and that person was in danger. Someone- A stranger. Her eyes found at least where she thought the source was, and as she approached she could at least feel she was right.

"Um, excuse me?" Do you know you're holding a potential bomb? That question wasn't said aloud, given she knew how crazy it would sound to someone without the Force, given she felt nothing from Niysha. Her concerned expression fell to a soft smile as she held up the basket.

"Would you like a bun?"

Niysha

 

[Niysha]

What Niysha had learned about ciphers over the last couple of weeks had made her very keenly aware that she was working from what might have been an insurmountable disadvantage. A significant portion of the cipher the tube was encoded with might've been available from its initial position, but at hundreds - perhaps thousands - of years old, the rings had long since been randomized to such a thorough extent that she was effectively working with no information whatsoever. The text itself was Sith, and comprised every letter of that language's alphabet with no additional tiles or numbers. Ten rings.

She had nothing. No information. No starting point. And, as with most artifacts of the Force, it was painfully obvious that the Force would be required to interact with it. The tube itself could be moved by hand, but Niysha had noticed during her initial examination back in her quarters on the Dancer that moving the cryptex rings had no actual effect on the locks within the tube. A deeper mechanism likely needed to be moved telekinetically, and doing that would require visualizing the entire object and moving with purpose. Effectively, she would be able to solve it when she knew how it was solved.

Frustrating, but still very interesting. This wasn't a place for public meditation, but she could still cross-reference the markings and determine-

A bright light approached from behind. Niysha picked it easily out of a crowd awash with the dull hues of the civilian masses. There were always one or two bright sparks in any crowd, people like In, who were touched by the Force just a bit more than the people around them. Most went their entire lives without knowing. Most weren't strong enough for anyone to pick up on them without... specialized senses. This one was different.

Bright and firm, but in a soft gradiant, rather than sharp edges. The girl wavered with uncertainty and despair towards the surface, but there was a brilliant, radiant light within so clear and warm that it would've hurt Niysha to look at her for too long. Hurt, that was, if it wasn't so comforting. The vision of a beacon, but the presence of an old fireplace. She'd known there would be Jedi on Lothal - there were Jedi in most places - but she hadn't been expecting this. It was nothing like the fierce war goddess she'd met in a dark corner of nowhere, or the eager spark she'd seen on Lrungo's ship.

Niysha noted she had nearly been taken off her guard immediately.

As the girl approached, the blindfolded lady sipping her caff turned to face her before she even spoke. She sat her little puzzle box down and tapped her datapad to shut down the holonet Sith library she'd been delving through. "Oh, thank you," she replied. Not unlike the girl's aura, Niysha's was a veritable campfire; quiet, soft, warm, and with just a bit of a crackle.

The Miraluka reached her hand down into her bag to pull out a couple of credits without looking towards it, cocking her head to one side with an easy smile. "How much would a bun be?" It was a Jedi, of course. She expected charity.

She also suffocated her aura as hard as possible. There was no point in starting a fight here, in the middle of town. Pointless casualties were distasteful for Niysha, heartbreaking and monstrous to In, and would force both of them to flee the planet way before they'd landed their next shipment.

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

"I'm not charging for them. There's enough going on that people could use a reason to smile, right?" She offered out the basket this time, trying not to assume blindness on behalf of the stranger before her. Trying not to assume anything, if she could help it. Her gaze drifted to where the cylinder was, towards the darker feeling that still made her skin crawl. It was dangerous.

".. I don't mean to pry, but- .. Are you alright?" That was the best way to bring it up, right? If it was a dangerous artifact, there would be side effects. She was already really pushing even just asking. Aliris knew, whether from experience or just a feeling in the Force, this was something she couldn't just ignore.

"I just- sense something wrong. I'm a Padawan of the temple close by."

Niysha

 

[Niysha]

Niysha gingerly picked through the basket the young lady offered her, pulling out a roll to indicate that yes, actually, she could absolutely see well enough to function. She'd garnered more than one suspicious look like that since making planetfall, though admittedly she was less of a curiosity to the locals than something more visibly exotic would've been.

This Jedi's suspicion, of course, was less about any visual peculiarities she might've had and more about her toy. It was curious that it was so... obvious. Maybe Niysha had spent too much time around it, if it was that noticeable. The aura felt so light, but if it was this obvious... She really, really didn't want to experiment on it on the Dancer any more than she had to, in case it actually was dangerous when opened, but she might need to if it was drawing this much attention.

The Jedi was very forward, though very polite (for a Jedi), about being a Jedi. Niysha looked at the Jedi and cocked her head to one side, giving an awkward smile and tapping the side of her head, right where her eyes might have been. "I was aware, Master Jedi, though I appreciate the honesty." She took a moment to clear the table a bit, putting her datapad away and indicating to the other seat across from her. "I'm perfectly fine, but that probably won't dissuade you. You're welcome to sit down and check."

She wasn't going to lose this cylinder, but Niysha couldn't think of anything a padawan could do to take it from her, and hiding it or running away now would just draw even more attention. Instead of protecting it, she left it in the open, presented it in the center of the table, and offered it for examination. Maybe a second look would help.

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

The offer was basically pounced upon. Aliris took a seat, her eyes now focused entirely on the cylinder as it was shown. She hadn't spent long enough at the Academy to know the specifics of what it was, but she could tell it was holding something within it. Something she could feel, even as subtle as it might be. She knew this type of darkness too much. The fact it wasn't hidden, that this other woman seemed to know it was something dark but was unaffected-

"Are you a relic hunter or the like? I've heard that a lot more museums and colleges are branching out to study these sorts of artifacts with everything that's going on." The Sith, the Jedi. They weren't secret these days, even if many of the galaxy didn't know more than rumors on them. She studied the item closely, but never once reached out towards it.

That wasn't something she could bring herself to do, not after what happened before.

"Do you know what this does, by chance? I can only really tell it's holding something- ah- No that's not something you have to answer." She was getting ahead of herself. The subtle paranoia in the back of her mind at facing another relic of the Dark, she didn't want that to take over. Not again. Never again. Instead she smiled.

"If you know that it's dangerous as you've said, I've no real business asking you any questions on it. I was more worried you might be someone who stumbled upon something they couldn't know was dangerous. I'm sorry for assuming that, honestly."

Niysha

 

[Niysha]

Not even making a move to take it. Niysha picked up her caff for a long sip and reexamined the situation a bit. A padawan might not have had the confidence to deal with something so overtly sinister. She might call her master, or a senior. That was far more prudent than she'd expect; Niysha had never been able to stop herself from grabbing any Jedi artifact she saw in any context where doing so was physically and immediately safe. This girl's aura was clouded in uncertainty, though. She practically radiated it.

Poor thing.

Niysha reached forward and picked the tube up, visibly holding it in her hands to indicate that she wasn't in any immediate danger, then placed it closer to her side of the table, away from her visitor and out of any reach that might tempt her. In the same motion, she stretched back down to her bag to grab her datapad and tapped it to open it back up again. "Relic hunter isn't inaccurate," she replied simply, swiping a finger across the screen of her personal to turn off Miraluka accessibility mode and make it easier on human eyes. "I'd like to say I'm an archaeologist, but what I do is a little too messy and impulsive to be real science."

Handing her pad over to the girl, Niysha continued explaining while drumming her fingers gently on the side of the disposable caff cup she was halfway finished with. "This is a puzzle tube. I haven't had a lot of luck placing the era, but it looks to be post-Sadow, possibly post-Krath." The articles she'd pulled up on her datapad mostly supported that. "As for what it does, I'm not entirely sure. I can see inside, and there's a kind of leathery scroll with what appears to be an old crystal."

Cocking her head to one side, Niysha held up the cryptex in one hand and leaned against the table with her other elbow. "Crystals are very common finds. Most aren't dangerous, just unnerving. The scroll is what has me concerned. The source I recieved this puzzle box from claimed it was a map. Given the general level of menace in this little trinket, it might lead to something much more dangerous than just a slightly moody rock."

After a full explanation, she sat up properly in her chair. "What do you think, Master Jedi? I'd obviously prefer if it wasn't dangerous enough to confiscate, but I'll cooperate if you feel that's necessary." Most of that was truth, though Niysha was entirely prepared to steal it back if necessary. The potential of an ancient map was just too enticing to give away.

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

"When they are dangerous, they're the kind that can eat your soul." It wasn't something she meant to say allowed, but she had. Aliris bit her lip for a moment. Why she'd ended up in a coma, why so much of her life had moved on without her, it all went back to a simple lightsaber crystal that was anything but. If what she was feeling was from the crystal within, did it make it that dangerous?

A lot was put on her shoulders now. The realization had her smile dim to a more serious thought as she watched Niysha pick up the puzzle tube. Sith holding their secrets within such things were just another line of trickery, and given the names she spoke of it was indeed Sith. The runes on it though- She could read them.

It seemed that knowledge hadn't been lost when the spirit had been ripped from her.

"As I said, I'm not an authority. It's not my place to judge or take things from people who I haven't been asked to help. That's not- what Jedi are supposed to do." In her opinion, any way. If this was a more violent tool, like a Lightsaber, maybe. But just a crystal though? A map? What would Braze say? Even when they first met, he was happy and willing to help her on her own spelunking. Even after she'd stolen his lightsaber, his crystal to bleed it.

"I'd just be warry of touching either what could be a map or the crystal once you do unlock it. Sith were and still are known for trapping even the simplest things under the guise of making sure only the worthy can attain their secrets."

Niysha

 

[Niysha]

Oh, she knew her stuff, at the very least. Niysha's expressions were often hard to read without eyes or eyebrows to judge her intent or reactions, and surprise sometimes looked like boredom or dismissal. As a conscious effort, she offered a gentle smile. "Their tricks are familiar to me, Master Jedi," she replied. "And I appreciate both your candor and your restraint. I've had less polite dealings with your peers in the past."

Implied: she'd had her things confiscated by other, more forceful Jedi. In actuality: she'd helmed a Sith battlecruiser during a naval standoff against a Jedi state that had risen not far from Lothal a few years back. The easiest lies were the ones that were at least proximate to the truth. Niysha had known older, more experienced Sith who treated the entire cat-and-mouse routine with Jedi peacekeepers as a game. For her, and for this girl, it was not a game. There were lives at stake, and she wagered that neither of them were willing to gamble with that sort of danger.

To that end, Niysha endeavored to be polite. After putting her puzzle box away, she held out a hand towards the girl on the other side of the table. "I hope it's not too late for introductions. I'm Niysha. Freelance... 'archaeologist' and crew on the Dancer in Green, currently loading up a shipment at the spaceport."

And that's all she needed to be. Apart from a bit tired, given how hard she was suppressing her presence in the Force. "Swallowing" was the term she'd once learned, and it wasn't inaccurate. "Drowning" would also have been appropriate. If she hadn't done it so frequently, practiced it so constantly, Niysha might have felt uncomfortable with how numb it left her feeling. The result was worth it. If this girl ended the day thinking she'd met a reckless idiot spacer out of her depth, then Niysha would consider the whole meeting a success.

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

"That's.. Unfortunate." Was all she could bring herself to say. She didn't like the idea that there were Jedi who weren't so polite over this. The Ashlan's were.. Violent over control of such things. Even if someone didn't have any capability in the Force, they could get prosecuted for having such items. That's not who the Jedi were, not in her eyes at least.

There was a pause as she looked to the offered hand. Hesitation. Psychometry was something she didn't want to experience when she didn't have to, especially when it came to strangers. Privacy was important. It was why she didn't touch the cylinder. And part of why she didn't take the hand offered. A much more shy smile was given instead.

"I get visions of things I touch some times. I try to avoid prying into people's pasts, even by accident."

She dipped her head in a silent apology, but brought the smile back none the less. "Aliris Tremiru. Just a padawan of the local temple." No one of major importance, which was honestly where she wanted to be.

"Did you name your ship? It's an interesting name. Most just have a single word from what I've seen."

Niysha

 

[Niysha]

Ah. Well, that was humbling.

Niysha mentally kicked herself twice; first for offering her hand without taking into account the possibility that people could read her thoughts through skin contact, and second for attempting to change to accommodate such a rare ability that she could never anticipate just because it had come up once. The vast majority of people in the galaxy could not, in fact, read your mind or your past by way of skin contact. Avoiding handshakes would just be more suspicious.

After pulling back her hand, Niysha shook it out under the table to re-center herself on the conversation. "I didn't. The captain says the name comes from the guy she won it from, in tribute to her. She's a very honest person and not prone to exaggeration, so I'm going to guess she had a pretty interesting life before she was a pilot." Niysha had only seen In dance once, while undercover on Lrungo's yacht, and frankly she didn't get enough time to shine in that regard.

More to the point. The padawan - "apprentice" by any reasonable measure - in front of Niysha held enough tumult for an adult in their thirties or forties. While Niysha had no interest in poaching Jedi, Adekos and Ignus had both had opinions about when Jedi were at their most vulnerable. Every single one of those opinions involved conflict and loss of confidence. This poor little creature was too precious to suffer like that. Like a stuffed animal with a bandage covering an old tear where the cotton was sticking out.

Take the jump.

"Aliris," she repeated in confirmation. "I feel like this might be presumptive, so feel free to cut me off if I'm overstepping." Niysha took a long moment to parse what she wanted to say. No accidents. No careless words. "You seem... emotionally bruised. I have every confidence that you're very sturdy and don't need help from a stranger."

Niysha's lips turned up in a gentle, encouraging smile. "But I can't accept seeing someone suffering and not offering to help."

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

"I can't think of a single pilot that hasn't had an interesting life, before or after in truth. The stars are full of all kinds of mystery and wonder." Whoever this captain was did sound more fascinating than the normal though, in truth. A ship named after them for a win? That's a lot of credits to be bet, if it was a gamble at least. It was the kind of story that Aliris was interested in by the smile on her face.

She didn't have that smile for long, though. It dimmed almost immediately. Her fingers fiddled just a tad with one another, a nervous tick she'd never grown out of. That she probably wouldn't, now that she was thinking about it. In turn that was another deflection and so on in her mind, each thought trying not to put credence to the words.

"I'm not sure there's much help to be offered. Recovery takes a while, that much I've learned. I was hoping it wasn't obvious though- it's not a problem I want to put on others. I-" There was a pause as she tried to figure out the words she wanted to say. A lot of contradicting thoughts. A stranger picked up on it meant she was showing too much. In that same vein, was she not supposed to? Was she supposed to keep it all to herself?

"Thank you, for the offer. I do appreciate it."

Niysha

 

[Niysha]

Niysha nodded and finished her caff as she listened, leaning back in her seat. She wasn't going to pretend that the Sith were any better about this sort of thing. Frankly, they weren't better about most things. From what she'd seen, though, both orders taught repression of vulnerability as a sacred charge. Anyone who couldn't fit that expectation was too weak to be Sith. Left to die or simply be ripped apart by other students early in their training.

Jedi likely had their own toxic traditions about it. Or maybe Aliris was just personally repressed. Shame, possibly. Niysha didn't pry into her emotions... at least partially because that would require her to touch the Force, which would ruin her camouflage.

"I wouldn't say obvious," she corrected, tapping the side of her head near where her eyes would be once again. "My kind have an uncommon blessing. I couldn't tell you what color your hair is, but I can see the doubt and pain swirling around in you clear as day."

Niysha kept her smile as gentle and encouraging as possible. "I'm sure you're very good at hiding your pain. But you don't have to be. If it would help, I'm here to listen." For a moment, she tapped her empty caff cup on the table. "Or, if it's too much, I can just get out of your hair. I wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable, and I'm sure the captain has something for me to do."

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

Doubt and pain?

For a moment Aliris's expression truly fell. A stranger could see as much, just from talking with her for a little bit? Had she really not gotten a handle on these feelings as she thought she had? It was disheartening that even after all this time and work she still wasn't at a place she at least wasn't going to burden others more than she already had.

Yet, she took a breath and the smile returned. Shyer now, but genuine at least. "You're not making me uncomfortable. I've been processing a lot of things for a little while now, and I thought I had a better handle on it. I know they're not wounds that's easy to just recover from, but I really thought I had gotten at least better enough that they weren't eating at me even talking to a new friend."

Niysha

 

[Niysha]

Ahhh, there we go.

Niysha paid close, quiet attention as Aliris started to let the dam break a bit. Naturally, the turbulent stormcloud that was her aura wasn't clearing up at all, but everyone resisted talking about their feelings at some level. Right now, she needed encouragement and empathy; Niysha could manage one of those, and she might be able to stumble into the other by accident.

"We're all shaped by what went wrong, Aliris," the older woman offered, leaning forward onto the table with both arms. "A tapestry of mistakes we couldn't know we were making and old scars that we had no way to protect ourselves from." Especially someone Aliris' age. When Niysha was that young... well, being beaten by her instructors for having a breakdown probably didn't help as much as a few quiet affirmations would have.

Hmm. This would be easier with something to break up the silence. Holding up one finger in a silent "wait" symbol, Niysha stood and wandered back into the restauraunt counter. She left her bag, the cryptex... all of it. For many people it might've been a show of trust; for Niysha, the only "trust" she had was that she'd see Aliris make a move before she actually did anything.

A minute later, she returned with two cups: a fresh caff for herself, and tea for the human girl. Or at least human-passing. Bogan knew Niysha wasn't one to talk about being technically not human.

"There. Easier to relax over a tea with friends," the Miraluka explained, offering the cup across the table before she took a seat. "Take your time. There's no rush, unless you've got somewhere to be."

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

Aliris opened her mouth to respond. A tapestry of scars wasn't too far off, if she was being honest with herself. A lot of her scars had faded in her time in the bacta tank, all those years unconscious, but she could still feel them. The memories they had behind them hadn't been erased. Hearing someone voice it aloud, she couldn't help her desire to respond. Ironically it was Niysha herself that stopped her.

She kept silent then, glancing after where the woman stepped towards before turning her gaze to the city around them. Towards the puzzle tube. Curiosity was one of her defining features when she was younger, and it hadn't faded. She wasn't going to act on it, wasn't going to even make a move towards the bag. But she was curious just what was inside it. What the apparent map would lead towards. How the puzzle worked and- No. That wasn't a path she wanted to explore anymore.

The tea was taken once it was offered, and she took a sip. Warm tea, especially from the store here, was much more needed than she thought. Her expression softened all over again as she looked down in the cup, idly swirling the tea within. "I wouldn't know where to start. I think it's just easier to say I feel.. Not enough. I was asleep for a long time after an attack. When I woke, everything had changed. They're Knights now, on their own paths. And I'm here, still trying to recover."

Niysha

 

[Niysha]

Niysha gave perhaps the most complicated smile she'd managed since she'd first turned around to meet Aliris. Pity? Sympathy? Understanding? She sat quietly and nodded along, but her mind was aflame with similar memories. One specific person... and a half-dozen others besides.

Her tone stayed soft and warm. It would likely have been difficult to hear Niysha clearly from more than a meter or two away. "Once upon a time, I had a colleague. I can't say friend; we didn't know each other that well," she began. "We worked well together for the brief time that I knew him. We were almost peers. Different skills, but a similar level of competence. Similar importance." Two Sith apprentices, one a dangerous fighter, and one a brainy, quiet nerd with a single trick.

Carefully skirting the word 'Force,' Niysha continued. "Sometimes the galaxy has a plan for one person, while everyone around them seems frozen in time. Sometimes, though, it seems like you're the one frozen. You wake up one day and realize that everyone you worked with is a visionary or a legend or even just... moving on. And you're stuck here."

In permanent stasis. Drifting between nowhere planets. Stealing what you need. Eating nutrient paste out of the galley spigot of a passenger freighter for the hundredth time, on your way to nowhere. Forgotten by every single master, every peer you ever had. A faceless, nameless mote of dust, drifting through the void of history.

Nobody, from nowhere.

Niysha's smile faded. For a while, she simply sat there, considering her caff. Eventually she broke her own silence, her voice a bit more shaky than before. "...I thought I was going to be going somewhere with that."

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

For a moment Aliris waited for the turning point. The moment that such frozenness wasn't going to be all people in that situation were. The but. It never came. Why only took a little bit of watching Niysha for the Padawan to understand. The loss of a smile. Aliris's own dimmed as she looked back to her tea, taking another sip to let the quiet settle. There was supposed to be comfort when someone understood what you were going through. All she felt right now though was sadness that either of them had to feel like this.

".. I suppose that's the problem. Neither of us are really going anywhere." Humor, even if bleak. It didn't make her smile anymore genuine than the sad one she had, but it was a step at least. Even if they were frozen, they were still allowed to smile and laugh, right? To try and go forward even if they weren't going to get far?

"Or maybe we just don't know where to go with everyone around us going so far."

Niysha

 

[Niysha]

Right. That got bleak. She needed a point to it and she needed it fast. Niysha considered - deeply, intensely - her life for the last few weeks. She was happier, more motivated, and more mobile than she'd ever been. She hadn't accomplished much, but she was actually doing things, and that was a massive improvement over where she'd been. Where this poor girl currently was. That was important. Focus on that.

How? While Aliris searched for a bright spot, Niysha formulated her words. Letting her mind get away from her had already had the negative impact of one depressing discussion. She didn't need a repeat. Focus on In.

"Maybe it's not important where we're going," the Miraluka offered quietly after a long moment of being up her own exhaust port. "I think Jedi have a few parables about 'the journey, not the destination.' And that makes you feel like the journey should be this big grand thing, to make up for not having a big grand end. I don't think that's the case."

This one had legs. She girded her philosophical loins and pressed on. "Life's been turning up for me recently, Aliris. I haven't been doing anything more interesting or impressive than usual. I haven't been progressing in any way that I'd expected. But I can feel myself improving in little ways. Personal ways, that matter to me."

How was she going to approach this without talking about the Force or coming out as Sith? She could keep using vague words, but there was an implication there. Niysha stifled her anxiety. The whole process was tiring, but the alternative was terrifying this poor, broken girl.

"I'm... pretty scared. Just in general. Not of danger; I wouldn't be diving into ruins and coming out with evil rocks if I was afraid of danger." She paused and turned her head as if looking off into the distance. A vestigial mannerism mimicked from the thousand sighted people she'd met. "I'm scared of being noticed, really. Terrified of being important at any level. It's made me do a lot of things in an effort to accomplish nothing that would draw any sort of attention."

There was the but. There was a but hiding somewhere in this conversation. "But I've been doing more. I met someone who brought out the courage in me, and I feel better about it. If I measured myself against my old colleague, I haven't really gone very far, done very much. But if I measure myself against the me of a couple of years ago... I'm almost a completely different person. All of the things I used to be, I've fought my way through and come out the other side changed."

She took a deep breath and a sip of her caff. It was cool enough to drink now. "...I don't think it's right to measure yourself against other people. Measure yourself against yourself. Look at who you are now, who you used to be, and figure out who you want to try to be."

That smile finally crept back to Niysha's face, a little more dented than before, but just as warm. "Advice from a recovering coward."

Aliris Tremiru

 

[Aliris Tremiru]

There was a pause from Aliris this time. Her gaze at some point had fallen to her tea as she swirled it around. Listened to the words as they were spoken. Being terrified of being noticed. That was something Aliris felt in the very core of her being. Her whole life had been determined by being known. The Ashlan's who abused her only did so because of her ties to the Tremiru family. The woman who hunted her down and left her in a coma did so for the same reason.

Was that the stress in her mind now? The threat of being hunted down again because people knew her name? It was food for thought, and she was certainly trying to process through it. She smiled in turn after a moment, a gentle, soft smile. "It's good advice. I'm certainly in a better place than I was. Growth. .. I'll keep it in mind, when I start seeing more news on my friends again."

Niysha