New Member Critique

[Ben Carlin]

Hello all,
as some of you know I'm a little new to this group of writers and writing as a whole, I just wanted some critique from all you experienced writers and have some advice thrown at me to improve my style and the way the content is as a whole for you all to work against and for you all to enjoy. My two characters Right now are [member="Tyrion Rexus"], and [member="John Shepherd"],

 

[GhostOfProtocol]

From what I've seen of you and done with you, you're actually really amazing. I expected you, and forgive me, to come in and have really short, snappy to the point RP's, but what I've seen is completely different. You focus so much on character thoughts and your character as well as the scene around you and I remember looking at the first post I did with John and going "wait, he did that?". It physically blew me away.

All I can really say is keep going, you'll improve overtime but what you have is amazing, just keep going with it and refining it.

[member="Shepherd"]

 

[Ben Carlin]

[member="Kei Garnik"]
Thanks Kei, from what I except that we'll be playing off each other for at least a while in the foreseeable future I thank you for that.

 

[GhostOfProtocol]

What, Kei needs friends and people he can rely on

Honestly though, i'm always down to offer people RP because I remember how hard I found it to get RP when I first joined here. You've really settled in around some quite big names on the board, there are people in that thread who most people will know of and you've just slotted in so well, it really takes skill and talent to do that.

Well done

[member="Shepherd"]

 

[Ben Carlin]

Also, No one else feel they can't criticize my postings, that's why I posted this post was to get feed back on what I can improve.