Need help developing depth in a quiet character.

[Evangeline Cross]

Hi everyone!

Evangeline here was my first character here on Chaos, so she's quite near and dear to my heart. I've always envisioned her as being very quiet and internal, but unfortunately this has a negative impact on my roleplaying. Because I imagine her being such a thinker, I've found that my writing tends to be heavily weighted down by lengthy descriptions of her thoughts, feelings, internal reactions, etc. This means that my posts tend to be slow and do very little to move the actual action along.

I am dying to give Evey another go, but I'm scared of falling into the same slow-moving trap. Does anyone have any advice or suggestions on how to effectively roleplay a quiet, cerebral character without bringing the action to a grinding halt? I'm even open to suggestions on how to tweak her personality or how to add more complexity and depth. Anything to make her a better, more interesting character and to improve the roleplaying experience overall.

Thank you so much!

 

[Connor Harrison]

[member="Evangeline Cross"] I'm not sure what I can give advice wise...but I do know that my character has often found himself in those more quieter, peaceful and cerebral situations that don't require great action or drama.

All I'd say is be true to yourself and your character. Don't feel pressure from others or situations to resort to fast-action, high-drama and often illogical stories just to "keep her fresh". If she is a more reserved character, that is a unique and strong quality and you should keep it and work on it rather than try to change.

When I felt there was an issue with Connor, as you seem to do now in wanting to change, I added a new layer to his story, in respect of I made up a goal I wanted him to achieved. So it meant looking for new writers and new attitudes out there to give ME new motivation and ideas for the character.

Have a rough idea of who she is and what you want for her, and don't divert from that as you'll find it harder in the long run. You have talent and confidence, and keep on with it as a writer and have faith in your ability to craft thoughtful and engaging stories from your character. Just don't be afraid to seek new situations and characters that may well bring more out of Evangeline than you could have hoped leading her to many new things.

 

[John Ash]

[member="Evangeline Cross"]

Listen to [member="Connor Harrison"] on what he has said because it spot on. Another option though is to give her some habits she does while thinking. Move her hands, her eyes, her legs, etc. What does she physically do when she gets into deep thought? What sort of quirks can you pull out to signal to people that she is in her head ICly? Maybe have her hand rubbing her ear lobe. Maybe she looks up at the ceiling or sky. If you feel she lacks some action instead of changing her personality just add a little more to spice up the thoughts.

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

[member="Evangeline Cross"]

I've always written 'quiet' characters: introverts, people given to a lot of inner monologue and deeper thought, the kind that don't always express themselves outloud. That said, there's a ton you can do with that! Every time I write a post, I try and get inside my character's head, and articulate what they're thinking, what they're feeling, what actions they might be contemplating and even just providing some exposition that gives context to the situation, and makes every decision made more sense than it might do if I just act without it.

The balance just has to be struck without only considering actions: even the most cerebral of human beings are doing something at the time, and even if they're completely still, things are going on around them. Everyone reacts to that: whether it provokes more thought or coaxes them into a physical action depends on the scenario.

The most important thing, though, is that you're comfortable: I'll honestly happily read a 2,000 word post if it's what the writer truly wishes to express. Same as I'll read a concise two-sentence post if that's all the inspiration they can comfortably articulate. Pick a happy medium for yourself or go to an extreme: whatever helps you develop as a writer!

 

[Sturgis Tal'Verda]

easy! Write with a deaf character like me!

 

[NightSister]

I make all of my characters introverted to varying extents. Aria here can be obnoxiously chatty around people she's close with, but she'll avoid chatting with strangers or making small talk. She's very much a head-in-the-clouds type of person, and as such I fill my posts with lengthy internal monologues. I don't feel it slows a thread down to fill it with mostly thought. In real life, when somebody says something, about seventy thoughts whiz about in my head in the duration of a second. As long as you have enough dialogue that whoever you're writing with can make a post, put in action for how she's reacting and internal monologue to explain why she reacts how she does, and make it as brief or as long as you like (my rule of thumb is to try and match the other person's post length, give or take maybe 3-5 lines depending on said length, but remember: quality, not quantity.)

If you really feel it drags on a bit, however, you can shorten the sentences. Nobody thinks in long, perfectly formed essays about why they don't like apples. This is especially true for writing combat posts, but applies to any fast-paced thread - make it pithy and to the point. For some threads, the glamorized inner thoughts make more sense, but when you're trying to quicken the pace, you can keep the internal monologue, but have thoughts whiz by instead of writing a thesis.

A good way to think about it is thinking vs. doing; in some posts, you'll be thinking more than doing and in others, vice versa. Even if you're in the middle of a fight to the death or in a mission to stop thousands of civilians from dying or whatever, you'll have fleeting thoughts, but they won't be long sentences full of fancy synonyms.

Anyway, have fun with it. It takes a long time to find a consistent personality and writing style that align with each other, and to get the balance between thought and action right. In general though, don't worry too much about it. Write a good character and nice posts, and eventually things like the pace will just come naturally.

[member="Evangeline Cross"]

 

[Aizen]

[member="Evangeline Cross"] All the advice given above are really good. I never turn down good descriptions. The character Im writing with now to you (Aizen) thinks a lot too. Like they said above, I established already that he calculates stuff in his head and connected it with something Aizen does with his trigger finger to collide the two for the reader. So every time a person reads: "One tap, two tap, three tap, four." I have already established he has thought out the scenario about to unfold.

 

[Tellos]

[member="Evangeline Cross"] My suggestion is sometiems where possible use the inviroment or internal thinking. Facial expressiosn described can help too. None of it is perfect but it can help, also gestures or body movement/posture can express things.

 

[Evangeline Cross]

[member="Connor Harrison"] [member="John Ash"] [member="Tirdarius"] [member="Sturgis Tal'Verda"] [member="Aria Vale"] [member="Aizen"] [member="Tellos"]

Wow!! Thanks so much for the fantastic advice and encouragement, everyone! I'll definitely take y'all's words to heart. I may also do some character tweaking with Evey. I honestly think that half the problem is that she's a little Mary Sue-ish/a little boring--whoops! :huh: Nothing like some good self-reflection and suggestions from friends to make you a better writer.

Thanks again everyone!

 

[Tellos]

[member="Evangeline Cross"] Your Welcome. But yes body language and facial expressions often can tell more than what words can. People hide thigns with words often. Thres people whos job it is to analyze body movements facial expressions even breif ones to figure out things.