Feedback My Fourth Year, and the First Peanut Gallery Review.

[LT-137]

I know many others have gotten further milestones than I - but I felt like this one deserved to be celebrated. It’s been four years, tomorrow, since I joined Chaos on a whim after someone was talking about it in another SWRP site’s Discord.

It’s funny to think back on all the characters I’ve written and the various… unfinished storylines I’ve left behind me. But, the purpose of this thread isn’t about me. It’s about my characters - more specifically - my current roster of characters and how they’re translating to Chaos.

I know that I’m a slower poster and often get made fun of because my posts are lengthy - it's something that I'm painfully aware of - but I’m more curious to see what people think of my current roster of characters. Be it a cursory glance through the linked post, or the attached biography that’s lacking some detail here and there.

So, to those of you that have spent the time making responses to this thread, reviewing my characters and letting me know what you think? You have my eternal gratitude. Through your comments and critiques - I aim to make my characters more exciting or more defined than the armour they continuously wear.

• Khonsu Amon, the Supreme Sun Guardian and "Former" Secret Sith Apprentice.
• Gideon Raith, the former Galactic Alliance Shocktrooper turned Republic Commando.
• Konrad Varro, or formerly known as Lucius Varad, the Man that killed his past and found his true calling in life.

Feel free to leave comments and constructive criticism below. If you wanted a more personal vein, feel free to hit me up over discord @Khonsu Amon#3476.

Thanks again!

(And thanks Chaos for putting up with me for the last four years!)

 

[Zak Dymo]

Bring back bald Khonsu.

That is all.

 

[Fiolette Fortan]

I've always appreciated your help with the factory, and as far as characters go they're fun to read. I love the attention to detail that you put into your writing. I'm definitely enjoying Gideon's journey thus far and Khonsu's always been a big bad scary guy although now he's faced with a different set of challenges. He continues to be the big bad scary guy and rightfully so. Gideon makes me think of a more sane Torian, but still fun to read.

 

[Ryv]

I'm not even sure where to start, so I'll keep it short.

If more people were like you, the site would be far better. Your character is also pretty cool.

 

[Lanik Dawnstar]

Well first off congrats on four years dude! Before I hop into anything what I will say is that dude you're an awesome writer, and someone who is fun as hell to talk to and hang out in voice with.

Now on to the characters, while I have not gotten the chance to RP with your character Khonsu I see how much work you've put into them, read posts you've written with them and gotta say I see very few as dedicated to lore building Thyrsians as much as you. All the lore and work you put into it is astounding and I'm sure it will all pay off.

Gideon, oh dear god that insane bastard. A character in which you write out the soldier mentality well and in a way that aligns with military protocol instead of just being completely rogue. He's an interesting character to say the least, and the interactions my character has had with him so far has been amazing. Can't wait for more!

Konrad Varro can be summed up in one meme. No, but in all seriousness, I don't know too much about the character but with how much work you're putting into the lightsworn can't wait to see what you do with him.

 

[Darth Prazutis]

LT-137

Ive thoroughly enjoyed your writing since you joined Chaos. I’ve known you as far back as your First Order days with the OG your Stormtrooper Torian Pierce(I believe I got the spelling).

You managed to find your own niche in the community, such as the Thyrsians and more that we haven’t seen explored before and you made it your own. As someone who’s been here for almost seven years it’s very refreshing to see something new.

As far as progression it’s been an honor to be part of Khonsu’s progression as his teacher, Ive followed his story since he was a nobody until he’s climbed the ranks to see Supreme Sun Guardianship. I’ve enjoyed every step of the way from the contempt, the resentment and the depth we discussed that developed. The Thyrsian Tyrant’s story is far from over, and I look forward to taking part in it and witnessing it as it continues to evolve.