Private Mother, How Could You?

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

~ Just Hearing Your Name Drives Me Insane ... I Feel So Betrayed. ~

The foundry was closed down for the evening. Most had gone home for the evening, and the lights were shut off. Aside the creaking of old metal bars and beams, the area was vacant and quiet... save for the lone footsteps of one individual. She was completely geared up, as if ready for battle. Her buy'ce hid her face like her kama cloaked her armor. The heavy rattling of her weapons and equipment was muffled as her footsteps loudly echoed across the barren forgeworks. One word of where her target was, excommunicated and shunned, was all she needed. She was here. Able to sense her familiar Force Signature from long distances, she has zoned in like a wolf sniffing out their prey from miles off. She stopped in front of the only section of the forges with lights buzzing and the fires of crafting glowing against the walls. She took a glance around at the foundry surrounding her, making sure she had every object and obstacle memorized for this.

The woman paused, trying her best to leash the insane levels of dark emotions she felt. With no intension of being stealthy, mute with the anger and grief she felt, she lifted the small repeating blaster from its place strapped to her side. She slipped into position and rapid fired the repeating blaster at the walls separating her from her target inside. She did not shoot at windows or through the doors. She did not disable equipment or even try to shoot the person inside. She wanted to see her for herself, and use everything on her arsenal to punish her for all she had done.

This was not an assassination. This was a long, drawn out, torture leading to death.

Then again, in the back of her mind, her attachment nagged at her. That she did not want her dead at all. But she bit her lip, still mute from her raging emotions. Her mouth was too dry to even silently form words. The rounds would have been good enough to call her out. And already, with the repeating blaster hanging on her hip again, she had her greeting... A cyroban pistol was in one hand, and a gunslinger pistol was in the other.

If one could look through the cold buy'ce, they would see a face mixed with rage, sorrow, indignation, disbelief, and grief all warped into one. All the emotions words could not describe, but a good ol' blaster would.

Shai Maji

 

[Shai Maji]

Shai had just finished up with her armour, wiping at her brow as she set her goggles aside on her workbench. All the electronics were installed, all the systems were operational. Only thing missing now was a fresh coat of paint. With a proud smile she snapped the pieces to a rack in the corner of her office before she took one last swig of her flask. Her food was running low. Xyoz's "starter pack" lasted for a decently long time, but she was going to need more blood soon. Luckily Kestri had no shortage of big animals.

She looked back into her forge for a moment, thinking back to the talk with Kranak the night before. Despite all of it, seeing him again was good for her. One more name she could mark down that was at least on her side. With a sigh she sat down on her bed and pulled off her boots before tossing it aside along with her stained shirt and cargo pants. Her mother had a spare room in her house at least. Perhaps she could start moving everything over in a day or two. For now, the factory still had its charm. Many sleepless nights, pulled through with strong liquor and stronger caf as she worked on projects for the company. Flicking the light off, the forge provided a gentle night light for her from the other room. The dark still pulled some tricks on her, after everything she went through.

But sleep didn't come to her. An ear flicked as an odd noise caught her attention. Like a door clicking shut. At first she wanted to brush it off as a door not having been closed properly when everyone left. But then she heard the heartbeat. Fast, unstable, angry. Her eyes fluttered open as she dropped out of the bed, just in time to avoid a volley of blaster fire tearing through the thin walls of her office. "Karking... manda-forsaken, force-damned..." She grumbled as she quickly pulled her clothes on and slipped into her armour. "I get you're angry, just like the rest of the planet! But karkin' hell! At least try to kill me during business hours like a normal bloody person!" She called out to the unknown shooters as she finished snapping her armour onto the body glove. After a few glances at the holes, the accuracy left a lot to be desired. Perhaps it was better not to aggravate the shooters more...

She slipped back into her forge and grabbed a pistol, flicking it to stun mode as she emerged and ducked down to sneak out of her office. Her senses quickly caught on in the darkness and silence. Her eyes adjusted, and her ears listened closely to the heartbeat, though it was the scent of the shooter that caught her off guard. A very familiar scent she could never forget.

"Ah kriff..."

She continued to quietly move through the assembly line of the factory, pistol at the ready as she sought to get into a better position. "Gwyn?!" She called out, peering at the dark silhouette in the distance. "I know you probably wanna blow my head off and I definitely deserve it... but can we at least take this somewhere else?! A tank of tibanna or rhydonium is the last thing that needs a stray blaster bolt!" She tried to reason with her, glancing around the plant.

Gwyneira Vizsla

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

There she was.

The dim lighting meant nothing to someone with eyes capable of multiple levels of advanced vision. Gwyn's cybernetic eyes adjusted to the wardog, noticing how she was adorned in newly fixed up beskar'gam. She had no business wearing that armor... Still, what caught Gwyn the most off guard was seeing that Shai was no longer a cyborg. She had natural limbs, and when scanning with the medical tech, Gwyn saw she had real eyes as well. Her Force signature felt more complete as well, just like Kranak's Force Signature was now a little bit vacant since he lost his limb... since he lost his limb to Shai.

The wretched mutt tried to convince Gwyneira that they should take this elsewhere, tried mentioning the pipes. What, did Shai just forget Gwyn was a licensed engineer? Then again, Shai had forgotten the rest about her, abandoned her, just like her real mother.

Gwyn looked up, her buy'ce tilting slightly. She looked to a nearby fuel canister, then looked back to Shai. Her throat was tight and heavy, she could barely open her mouth. The half Arkanian was usually so emotional and genuine when she spoke. But now? Her voice was cold as a dead rocky planet floating at the edge of its solar system.

<"I know.">

She lifted her Ra'ntisr and immediately shot at Shai. Amber blaster bolts rang in the swift gunslinger mode. Yet, this blind shooting had a plan behind it. Between all the blaster bolts, Gwyn extended the Borealis and, while changing Ra'ntisr modes, aimed a cyroban bolt at her feet to slow her down. In a fluid flash, she then fired the Ra'ntisr in a more precise shot at the wardog's upper thorax.

Once again, this was in no way a death duel. This was drawn out penance.

Shai Maji

 

[Shai Maji]

Shai could practically smell the whirlwind of emotions on the girl. Her heart rate was all over the place, but her voice was the final nail in the coffin. Cold and ruthless, but uncharacteristic of the lively and expressive girl Shai knew. She was hurt, and Shai knew she was the cause of it. She didn't have much time to ponder on a solution when Gwyn fired at her. The Wardog dove down and behind the leg of a Basilisk still on the assembly line. Looking back at the bolt impacts, she sighed and checked her pistol.

"I know I caused all the problems, Gwyn! But sayin' it's my fault ain't fair." She cringed at her own words, as she holstered her gun. She wasn't going to get into a shooting match with the girl. One wrong shot and she could be hurt. She could take a hit, but Gwyn wasn't so fortunate. She looked at herself again as an idea popped into her head. "You're angry, Gwyn. I get that. You feel like I turned my back on y'all. In a way I did, yeah. But I ain't gonna talk to you from behind cover..."

Seemingly in the blink of an eye, without warning or indication, the Wardog was suddenly a few feet behind the girl. So how's about we talk face to face." She spoke up with sincerity, helmet in her hand as she looked at the girl with concerned eyes. She expected Gwyn to react on her. If she tried to keep fighting, the Wardog would have to oblige.

Gwyneira Vizsla

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

Gwyn was shocked when Shai disappeared from the basilisk she was hiding behind and just... flickered behind her. Her voice was unaffected by any kind of helmet, it was off. Shai tried talking, tried getting Gwyn to talk. An emotion the half Arkanian could not describe echoed inside her chest as Shai asked if they could just talk. Her throat throbbed. This could not be wanting to talk. No, no way she wanted to talk. So why did she feel like giving in?

Logic also told her to stop. Logic told her that against any opponent with an unexplained ability, like blitzing, buying time and assessing was the best option. She clenched her weapons, hands shaking. She sighed, lowering her pistols and sliding them into their holsters. <"Yeah, you did cause all the problems. And you left us.">

Her voice croaked with emotion. Oh no, she was crying. She pulled her own buy'ce off, letting it fall to the ground as she wiped her eyes. Her back was still turned to Shai. "So... how dare you..."

She clenched her fists. She sniffled, she turned around. She snapped into action, she pulled her arm back, hand clenched in a fist. The crushgaunt sparkled blue as electricity crackled from it, "How dare you say it's not your fault!"

Inside, something snapped. The ice packing her emotions tightly inside shattered. The battle gauntlets Shai made for her, combining crushgaunt and shockmitt technology, were now being used against her. With the gauntlets engulfed in cyan electricity, Gwyneira used martial arts and the Force as she pressed a violent, hard, and fast series of blows. She prioritized using her cybernetic leg as well, with how strong and durable it was. Kicking and punching with Mandalorian Core, using some telekinesis and shadowstrikes, she made the effort to attack Shai, to beat her to a bloody pulp if she could, all while screaming.

"Of course it's your fault! It all is! Buir keeps blaming himself for the men you killed! I spent my entire life around an alcoholic and drug abusing mom, of course I can tell he's drinking behind my back! He's depressed and miserable and is plagued by your sins! And I can't do anything to make him feel better! How DARE you make him feel like that!! Cur! Wretch! You even mutilated him! Weren't you best friends or something, traitor! Some friend you are!"

Tears gushed down her face. Her hair had been tied back and already was falling loose. Her cybernetic eyes struggled to adjust and see through the tears as she screamed her heart out, "And what about Vulcan!? Wasn't he like a son to you?! He looked up to you all starry eyed and you left him! I had to be strong around him and hide how I was feeling so he wouldn't crash!"

Her punches and kicks were less and less poised by the minute. Her posture was too sloppy as her face went red from her screaming, " You left your Clan! You left your home! You betrayed your own people and actively tried to kill us! You did kill some of our vod! What is wrong with you!?! I've been in the Enclave way less than you and I can tell that's not right!"

The electricity fizzled as she caught herself. She slammed her hands on her knees as she panted for a moment, tears pounding against the metal flooring like it was a downpour of rain. She made a spontaneous lunge again, electricity turning back on as she hoarsely panted between her screaming fit.

"How could you! Alor! You were my Alor! Kranak adopted me, Eliz loved me, and you gave me a real home! You were my family! Did you forget how important family is to me! Karking hoth, my mother was awful to me! She reluctantly raised her crotch goblin because of legality! She handed me to a malfunctioning nurse droid and hardly spared a glance! She never acknowledged me! I had to survive on my own and learn everything myself! When I graduated high school at age nine she acted like I didn't exist! Never said goodbye before I moved to the academy campus! I still can't stand the stench of death sticks and the reeking of alcohol But YOU! You noticed me! You gave me tough love and you taught me things! You always supported me! You were gracious enough to accept a low down outsider like me into your Clan! You made me feel like I BELONGED! You were more like a mother to me than she EVER was!"

"Alor! Why!? You left me! You left me just like my mom did! You disowned me like my father did! I trusted you to be better than them and you just karking JOINED the SITH you you said you HATED SO MUCH! You betrayed us! You betrayed ME! You hurt me! You made my life more of a hell than it already had been! I needed you and you turned your back like I WAS NOTHING TO YOU!"

She slipped. Usually so aware of her surroundings, she slipped on some oil and fell onto the floor. Her shockmitts deactivated as she moved to get up... then stayed where she was. She just started... bawling.

Shai Maji

 

[Shai Maji]

At least she didn't immediately try to attack her, which was a relief for the Wardog. Though she could tell that Gwyn wasn't done with her yet. Setting her helmet down, she waited to see what Gwyn would do next. Talking was naturally off the table for now. That much was obvious when her helmet dropped to the floor and she spun around with her gauntlets primed.

Shai instinctively stepped back and tried to block the attacks as best she could. But even with years of experience, Gwyn was faster... and the last thing she wanted was to hurt the girl. So a few good hits managed to slip through, sending powerful torrents of electricity through her body while the gauntlets themselves either slammed her armour against her body, or slipped through the gaps and pulverised her insides. If it wasn't for her new abilities, she would have been out of the fight already. At least she knew now, even from the receiving end, those prototype gloves worked like a charm.

All the while, she listened to Gwyn as the girl poured her heart out with every punch and kick. Her form started to falter as fatigue took hold, but she continued to fight. One hit after the other, Shai's healing was working overtime to fix the blows to her body and regrow bone and teeth knocked loose. But she continued to listen, paying attention to every word as she weaved and blocked the girl's hits. She had to admit that she was impressed by her improvement.

The fight eventually fell into a lull as Gwyn became more and more tired, until she slipped on a spot of oil on the ground. Moving on instinct, it was as if time slowed down for her. She stepped in, grabbed hold of Gwyn's arm and waist, and gently lowered her to the ground before she stepped back to look at her. She was a wreck, and Shai had no idea on how to make it right.

"... You ain't nothin' to me, Gwyn." She muttered gently as sadness filled her eyes. "You're the closest thing I've ever had to a kid... you and Vulc are the best kids anyone could hope for." She continued, stepping back to sit down on a nearby conveyor belt as she reached into a pocket to pull a cigarette free... except it wasn't there. She left it in the office.

"I've made mistakes, Gwyn... ones I could never hope to fix... but if you let me, I'll try at least to explain myself. You deserve that much." She spoke with sincerity and a clear voice as a faint smile formed.

Gwyneira Vizsla

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

When Gwyn's rage was bottled inside before, it had been impossible to truly listen to Shai. Now, it still was insanely difficult to. But now, she could feel the sincerity in her voice. She lifted a hand and held her face, tears still falling. She was panting, not only due to exhaustion but due to her internal conflict. That same unnamed emotion she felt when Shai asked her to talk earlier resurfaced. She blinked, tears still pounding to the floor. She had… felt… the way Shai gently grabbed her and laid her down…

Kark, she hated it all!

One side of her clung to the anger and betrayal. It screamed that Shai was in the wrong, the Enclave and Gwyn were the victims, and it was as one sided as Gwyn's relationships with her biological parents. They had been the heartless villains, and the target of their scorn had been abomination they had spawned. But the other side of her… well…

Gwyn looked up, hot headed and upset, at the wardog who sat next to her and held her close. She smiled gently, it was feeling she had never felt before. What was this… warmth? She spoke to Gwyn, spoke words of wisdom. The canine far larger than her smothered her in an embrace she had never felt before in her life, yet had longed for from someone else… her mother.

"If you wish to follow the path of the Mando'ade then this won't cut it. Mandalorians do not cry and shout when there's an inconvenience. We are Mandalorians. Our armour doesn't define us. Our weapons don't define us. Our language doesn't define us. It is who we are as a people. Your very being must be above the common rabble of the Galaxy. Your... aura... must strike fear and respect in the hearts of anyone. Our enemies shouldn't fear our armour or our weapons... they should fear us for who we are, whether we wear our armour or not. Now I know Kranak will train you... but I will gladly offer my help to train you as well. And if you and Eliz wish to settle down one day, I will very much want to say that I at least helped to make a true Mandalorian out of you... whether I'm your Alor or not."

Then, it was sudden and sharp, the warmth flickered in a flash. A snarl from the wardog's teeth, and Gwyn felt a massive pounding upon her head. Did… Shai just whack her in the head? As Gwyn recoiled, the Alor continued, "So that means toughen up, kiddo, because welcome to the Mando'ade."

Gwyn sniffled, wiping her eyes as she remembered the times she trained with Shai, ate and shared the same roof with Shai, and simply spoke with Shai. She remembered their first interactions, how Shai struck Gwyn as so reckless yet so confident, and how Shai had commanded respect. All the memories that Gwyn had been harboring as fuel to salt the wound of betrayal, suddenly provided an opening. It… it was not like Shai to do… any of what she had done. It had taken so long for Gwyn to believe, only fully realizing the wretched truth once she saw Kranak's stub of an arm. Gwyn was in agony the whole time, but she had genuinely asked… what had brought it to this? Did she even want to know? She was… scared…

Gwyn gulped, looking to Shai's neck - she could still not look at her face. She panted, closing her eyes and speaking, "Mandalorians do not cry and shout when there's an inconvenience, right?"

He wiped her face, still puffy and red, but finally ceased crying. She looked down, drained and in turmoil but finally willing to hear it, "Fine. Talk."

Shai Maji

 

[Shai Maji]

Gwyn was silent for a long time as she sat on the floor in front of the Wardog. Shai didn't move as she waited for the girl's answer, though a familiar craving in the back of her mind was starting to surface. Gwyn's heartbeat, the smell of her blood rushing through her veins... this was what Xyoz meant. The constant hunger. She shifted a bit as she tried to suppress that craving.

"Mandalorians do not cry and shout when there's an inconvenience, right?"

"Fine. Talk."

Her answer couldn't have been better. Shai gave a nod as she rose from her seat. "Come on. Let's talk inside." She extended a hand and pulled the girl up with little effort before marching off. Those punches must have taken a lot out of her, for her to be feeling like this already. The moment she reached her desk, she pulled her flask out and took several gulps a little too greedily for her liking. At least the feeling subsided. "It ain't alcohol, don't worry." She reassured as she wiped the crimson liquid from her lips and set the flask away. The thought of wanting to tear into Gwyn was a little too disconcerting for her liking.

"When I was captured on Roon, the Maw took me to their homeworld. Exogol. Place is hidden in the backside of the galaxy, nearly impossible to navigate. The wasn't any way for Kranak to find me." She started as she started to remove her armour and body glove, resting them over the armour rack once again. "They worked on me for months as far as I know. Time became a foreign concept for me in that dungeon." She turned to face Gwyn as she sat on her desk and gestured to the bed. "Sit." She instructed, opening a small fridge and handing a bottle of soda to Gwyn. "Grape soda. You'll feel better." She commented as she sat down again.

For a moment she was quiet as she tried to figure out what to say. "They... did bad things to me. Took my limbs, my eyes, knocked my teeth out... experimented on what was left on my body... the Mongrel oversaw that. But that didn't come close to their Taskmaster. Dude bore into my mind... that Force mind karkery type deal. I held onto the hope that Kranak and the rest of y'all would come for me... the day that hope faded, was the day they broke me." She helped herself to a few more sips of the flask.

"I wanted to get back at Enclave. Burn it all down and take everyone along with it. I killed hundreds of people, nearly killed a few Jedi too. I knew what I was doin' under the Maw, I was aware of it all... but it didn't feel wrong to me. It wasn't until Xyoz helped to give my body back, and Runi helped to fix my mind, that I could think straight again. Realized that the Maw turned me against my people." She stared at the girl for a moment, idly playing with the cap of her flask. "What I did to our people, what I did to Kranak... I know there's nothing I can do to make that right." She stood up and paced around the office with a long sigh.

She turned to face Gwyn again. "But I'm still trying. You, Vulc... I didn't do right by y'all. I wasn't in my right mind then, but now I am. And I want to make things right. You both deserve better." She sat down again as she massaged her brows before she took one last sip. Nothing felt right, nothing could make up for the ways she wronged Gwyn and Vulc... but she was still going to try.

Gwyneira Vizsla Vulcan Krayt

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

The feelings Gwyn were sensing off Shai were... disturbing. Was that... hunger? Bloodlust? All her distrust flared up again, but Gwyn still decided to follow Shai into the building. She was disconcerted when Shai took out a flask, relieved when Shai told her it wasn't alcohol, then on edge again when she saw the crimson on her lips. Was that blood?!?

Still, when motioned to sit, Gwyn uneasily sat on the bed. She did not even open the soda can or take a sip. Setting the can aside, she listened, in anger and disgust, to how Shai had been captured and treated. It was vague enough, she could tell there was so much more to this. The rage she felt, she felt on Shai's behalf for how she was treated. She also felt... sympathy.

She could relate to it all.

"Gwyneira Craft."

Gwyn reached up and touched her cybernetic eye, in the iris. The pupil dilated in response. She remembered all the drugs, injections, and chemicals tested on her. How her arm was cut off bit by bit, how they literally experimented on her eyes. All the beatings and electrocutions, baths in tanks of hostile substances. Throwing her in bacta tanks to heal her up for the next experiment. And her father, the Arkanian purist scientists, and her inner demons telling her that she deserved it, was worth nothing, and that no one was coming for her.

She hated to admit it, but she could relate to Shai deeply.

Except for what Shai described as the worst part, the attacks on her mind. Gwyn's father had played all kinds of mind games and emotional manipulation to bring his daughter down, but what Shai described was an attack aided by the Force.

Gwyn paused, looking down at her hands, then looking at an arm where she remembered being injected too many times. Visible horror on her face as she remembered her own trauma.

"I..." She shuddered, "Still have nightmares about what my father did to me. It was terrible. So... I can... understand that."

She then looked up to Shai, "But it wasn't you who did all those things then? They used some massive, evil Force mind trick on you?"

She was starting to feel bad for beating Shai up. Despite it all though, there was so much that still perplexed and scared her, namely the bloodlust she sensed.

Shai Maji

 

[Shai Maji]

Shai nodded gently as Gwyn spoke about her nightmares. It didn't surprise the Shistavanen one bit, she was very familiar with those kind of dreams. The past constantly coming back to haunt and torment her. Even now, the darkness scared her after everything she lived through. After all the suffering she endured at the hands of the Sith. But as Gwyn asked about what Shai did, the Shistavanen slowly shook her head as she stared at the girl.

"I wish I was. I really do. But no... I was aware of everything I did. I... wanted to... I wanted the fire and destruction. I craved it." She admitted as she stood up, pacing slowly around the small office. "That's the thing, Gwyn. They didn't control me or put me under some kind of spell. They... turned me against you. Turned me against my family. They hammered and bombarded me for so long that, when I finally lost an inch of ground... it all came crashing down. Seeing the death and destruction, Kranak struggling, the taste of those Siks' blood in my mouth... it brought a pleasure to me I haven't felt in decades. In the back of my mind, there was something telling me that it was wrong... but it was drowned out by the voices that pushed me on." She continued with a grim face as she looked at Gwyn again.

She sat down on her desk with a long sigh as her eyes remained glued to Gwyn's cybernetic gaze. It was odd to see them on her, but after everything her father did to her, Shai wasn't surprised.

"Before Roon, I never saw the Maw as a threat. I faced them before and I tore them apart... but after what they did to me..." She trailed off, staring blankly into a corner. "They are dangerous, Gwyn. They are beyond hope or reason, they are vile and cruel. Ridding the galaxy of their presence is probably the greatest achievement we could ever have in our lives. Because if they are not eradicated... countless more will continue to suffer. And... if you ever get captured... death is a mercy you'll dream of." She looked down at her hand, trembling as she let out a shaky breath.

Trying to cover it up, she flicked her hand and looked away. "Xyoz tried hard to help me, but nothing worked. I treated my husband like a dog, despite the fact that he gave me my body back. I can never repay Runi for what she did for me. How she helped to... heal me." She continued softly, looking back at Gwyn.

Gwyneira Vizsla

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

She was so close.

So close to starting to understand, and even start to forgive Shai. But this? This ruined it.

How could Shai say she was sorry when she not only was aware, not only willingly did, but enjoyed all that had had been done?? And the worst part was that Kranak's suffering was included in the list of greatest joys in Shai's life.

It sickened her.

Gwyn's anger visibly grew as Shai went on about how the Maw was dangerous, something something talk about ending them, blah blah blah. She tried containing herself, but Gwyn's fists were clenched tightly. She was shaking. Memories replayed, of Kranak being so distant and blaming himself for all of this. Memories of Kranak without an arm, and Gwyn making him a cybernetic one herself. At last, the final nailing of rage was when Shai moped around being sorry for this and that, and she owed this and that person for-

SHUT THE KARK UP!

Gwyneira rose harshly at Shai and deeply glared at her. Her entire body shook with rage as she pointed and just started berating her, "You kriffing enjoyed all of that!?! You karking-" Her tears doubled as she pointed to her own arm, "It brought you joy ripping buir's arm off!?!? I can't believe you! How dare you apologize!!"

She threw her other hand, knocking all the objects off a nearby nightstand. Items crashed onto the floor as Gwyn's hand rose, slowly clenching into a sort of grip in the air.

"Buir means more to me than my own life you sick, disgusting creature! I would rather be back in my father's lab again than have him go through what you put him through!! All the guilt and shame! Self imposed isolation! Losing an arm! I can't stand it! I hate it! And it's your fault!!!"

She reached into her utility belt and pulled out a lightsaber hilt, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just torture you until you die in agony for this RIGHT NOW! You don't deserve him! He doesn't deserve this!"

Tears streamed down her face and pounded onto the floor as clicked the button to activate her lightsaber. But... nothing happened. A brief, white spark and fizzling down of light, but no blade. Gwyn turned and looked down at the hilt. She realized that this was one of the first lightsabers she made. The Survivor. She remembered how the kyber crystal inside had once been a bleeding crystal, cured and cleansed, and now was very sensitive to the Dark Side. It caused her to take a mental step back. She was deeply craving to see Shai in pain right now, and she could recognize the Dark Side's chill knocking on her door.

With an exasperated sigh, Gwyn lowered the hilt and threw it onto her belt. She had to resist the violence, "I..."

The tears continued to flood down. Her voice was hoarse and wounded, "I could forgive you joining them... attacking us... even killing those people... but Kranak?"

She was shaking as she slumped back onto the bed, "I can't forgive you for this."

Bitterness rumbled in her voice, "You are a vile poison in his existence. He would have been better off if he'd never met you..."

Shai Maji

 

[Shai Maji]

Shai fell quiet with Gwyn's sudden outburst, her hopes of making this right quickly sinking into her stomach as she looked up at the girl. Her ears flattened as she simply listened to the girl in front of her. As much as she wanted to try and defend herself, she kept herself in check, told herself that she deserved it. As painful as it was to listen to Gwyn, the closest she ever had to a daughter, berate her like this... she didn't want to try and make it worse. Though she couldn't stop the knot in her throat, and the tears starting to well up in her eyes. Even that felt good in a way, to feel that again organically.

Gwyn reached for her lightsaber and tried to ignite it, only nothing happened. Shai blinked as she looked at the weapon curiously sputtering before dying entirely. Something tugged in the back of her mind. That was Gwyn's special lightsaber. The one she got back after a long struggle, purified it and worked hard to learn to control the weapon. She doubted that it was a mechanical failure, Gwyn would never allow her weapons to fall into disrepair. Her eyes narrowed as Gwyn dropped back onto the bed... and dropped the last straw that would break the Dewback's back.

"You are a vile poison in his existence. He would have been better off if he'd never met you..."

Her organic spine ran cold as anger brewed in her glowing, crimson gaze. "Listen to me, now..." She growled as she slowly stood up and loomed over the girl, her mane standing up as her lips curled into a snarl. Shai bristled with anger as she merely glared at the girl. "Kranak is the closest I've got to a brother just as much as you're the closest I have to a daughter." She poked Gwyn hard enough against her cuirass to shove her back into the bed. "So watch you karkin' mouth. You think I wanted to hurt my brother?" She snarled, straightening out over the girl.

"I held out. I fought by his side. For longer than you've been alive." She could feel the bloodlust creeping up again. With a huff, she turned and helped herself to her flask to calm herself down a bit. "I'm tryin' to make things right here, Gwyn. I screwed up and I know it. I'm trying to make things right over here." She spoke up with a tired sigh. "I was there for you when you were slipping into the Dark Side. I was there for Kranak when he was seconds away from blowing his brains out. I was there for Vulc, when my boy lost his leg. When Eliz lost his arm..." Blood still caked her lips and teeth as she turned to look at her.

"YOU THINK I WANTED TO HURT ANY OF YOU, YOU KARKING BRAT?! YOU THINK I WANTED ALL OF THIS? THIS SUFFERING AND PUNISHMENT?! THE WEIGHT OF KNOWING I BUTCHERED MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND ENJOYING IT?! TO BE TURNED AGAINST MY OWN PEOPLE?!" She barked with a cracking voice, looming over her again with heavy breaths and tears dripping down her face, onto Gwyn's armour. With a heavy sob, she wiped at her mouth and nose, walking back to sit at her desk. "Just... kark off. Y-you won't get it. None of you get it. None of you want to get it. Just... go." She whined with a harsh sniff as she looked down at the holes Gwyn shot into her office.

Gwyneira Vizsla

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

The shock of the screaming being turned on her caused Gwyn to just go numb for a moment, wide eyed as she fell on her back and Shai was over her. Tears pounded onto her beskar'gam as Shai poured her emotions out. Reminiscing about how she and Kranak had a long bond, how she was there for her family before she turned. For the second time, it seemed for a moment that Shai could reach the child with her screaming. She was... genuinely sorry. But fear coated Gwyn's face at it all, and drinking blood as she towered over her didn't help.

Maybe... she had stepped out of line...

But the rage she felt still consisted. Something she was unable to just rip out of her heart and throw in the trash. Her face contorted into confusion and dismay as Shai got off and slumped on her desk. One side of Gwyn wanted to check to see if she was alright, felt sorry seeing her tears, and even wanted to apologize. But the other side of her... relished in seeing her cry. She had found a way to hit Shai where it hurts. And she loved it. Yet, the war inside her was so bewildering.

Sympathy had never been Gwyn's strong suit; not when she hardly got any herself before coming to the Enclave. She had always been focused on her own survival and well being; she had to be when her mom hardly ever fed her properly. Even when she joined the Enclave, she found it hard to look outside her own perspective. Even when trying to comfort her loved ones and care for them, she seldom understood them. Especially when she felt hurt. When Eliz Krayt has ghosted her when he lost his limb, back before she was adopted as a foundling, Gwyn had been unable to understand why he would do such a thing, even if it was keeping Kestri a secret from an aruitiise. It had stung to be treated as an outsider, by the person she had been closest to, and she had been unable to understand why this "duty" thing was so important, even if they had made up since then.

So here? When she was faced a far more serious and crushing betrayal? By the closest thing she had to a mother? She had even tried to understand. But she was so hurt, her irrational rage was blocking reason out. Then again, despite that hate, deep down she wanted Shai back. She wanted the one who had adopted her into a real Clan. She wanted to one who trained her alongside Kranak. She wanted her mother. Yet... that rage.

Being told to leave, being told she wouldn't understand... Well, perhaps Shai read her right. Perhaps, the girl who tried to be selfless was just an unempathetic karking brat. But as she got up to go, her heart was like lead, trying to pull her back down. But no. Shai wanted nothing to do with Gwyneira, and Gwyneira wanted nothing to do with Shai. It was over, wasn't it?

Her boots scuffed as she walked through the items she had thrown to the floor. This wasn't right. Nothing was. Not how she felt, not Shai's predicament, not her fury for Kranak's current state, none of it. It was just... so miserable. Tears were streaming down her face as she paused at the door. She leaned against the frame, tears falling. She was shaking.

She lifted her hand to her head. She had a headache. She hated this. Heart pounding in her chest, she bit her lip. She didn't think she had anything to say until she spoke out of nowhere, surprising herself.

"I never understood anything I couldn't feel myself. I guess I am just a karking brat. But as if my life even matters."

Slumping against the frame of the doorway, she faltered, "I just hate this. Part of me wants you back, wants to understand you, but the other side is still angry. And sick of a lifetime of being cast aside like this. And I wonder why I even care at all anymore."

She sniffled, tears clouding her vision, "I am sorry, for what you've been through by the Maw's hand. They were unspeakably horrid with you. You didn't deserve that. And I can tell you feel sorry for what you did, but..."

She hugged herself, unable to voice the rage that still caused her to hate Shai, "... I'm either short sighted, or my feelings are valid, but I hate what you've done. Seeing Kranak hurt like this breaks my heart, and I can't just forgive the thing to blame for it. I don't even want you near him."

She reached and placed a hand on the frame, ready to push despite the circles under her eyes and lifelessness in her body, "Someday, I hope it can heal. But I'm so angry right now."

She pushed herself off the door, looking to the foundry outside the office. She wanted to run as fast as she could to get out of here, but she also wanted to stay. Her head throbbed, she lifted her hand and grasped it. Force, she hated this!

Why couldn't this just all end and go away!

She hated this!

""
<"">

<<"">>

 

[Vulcan Krayt]

Location: Kestri, The Foundry
Weather: A very nasty Snowstorm
Tag: Gwyneira Vizsla | Shai Maji

Since the weather decided to turn sour as usual, Vulcan set up a nest inside the Foundry because trying to get home in a raging blizzard is stupid and he knew better than to try. Besides he tried his hand at forging, again the paperweight looked off. I was supposed to look like a Whampa, but it looked like it melted, but as of right now, he chalked it up to being busy and in the hospital. Yet he had to wonder if Shai made it off Tython?

So far his sleep had been quiet and peaceful that is until gunshots and muffled shouting piqued his interest as he awoke. What? Were there people here too? Vulcan sighed, Mandalorians never sleep or at least he thought they didn't. The shouting increased a few decibels and Vulcan stood up, his moth print Pjamas slightly crinkled, he soon opened the door to follow the noises.

He knew those voices, but why would they be yelling at each other. The wall had a hole in it, and he wasn't the one who made it this time. Continuing, slipper in hand he peeked around the corner and froze. Emotions vying for control, joy and anger broiled around making his head muffled.

<"Sh-Shai?"> He says, making his presence known.

 

[Shai Maji]

Shai refused to look at Gwyn as she stopped in the door and spoke up. She merely shut her eyes and turned her head away in a grimace as she kept her mouth shut. The amount of things she wanted to say. The desire to ignore Gwyn, just tell her to shut up and get out. But she couldn't. Truthfully, she didn't want Gwyn to go, either. And no matter how hard she tried, she could never ignore someone. Always listening, always hearing what others had to say. The desire to help them before worrying about herself.

Her eyes finally opened and looked back at Gwyn. "Gwyn..." She spoke up, clearing her throat. "Would you like some hot-"

She froze up as her eyes went wide. Past Gwyn, standing in his odd pajamas with only his breathing mask on, wielding only a slipper, was her boy. "Vulc..." She muttered, standing up from her seat. "You... you've grown." She spoke up, unable to hold back a smile as she wiped at her eyes.

Words escaped her as she stood behind Gwyn, wide-eyed and unable to formulate any sentences for a long moment. "My... my boy..." She muttered, taking a step towards the both of them before she halted. Hesitation gripped at her as she studied him, too afraid of trying to rach out to him in fear of losing him as well. She was already losing her only daughter... she didn't want to lose her only son as well.

Gwyneira Vizsla Vulcan Krayt

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

Vulcan?

Gwyn blinked, watching as Vulcan approached armed with just a slipper. Gwyn wanted to jump between him and Shai, bark to stay back to protect her brother. And yet, she could not deny how Shai was numb with joy and fear as she looked at her boy. Shai and Vulcan's bond was a lot like Gwyn's bond with Kranak. An unbreakable parent child bond with leagues of loyalty backing it. Gwyn lowered her gaze. As much as she hated Shai, she could trust her with Vulcan. And Gwyn was so consumed with anger anyways, she would be ruining the reunion. Shai had already told her to get out.

Gwyn looked over to her buy'ce, on the floor of the foundry. She pushed herself off the archway silently and started walking to her buy'ce, past Vulcan. Her face was heavy with gloom, sadness, anger as her tired, narrowed eyes focused on the buy'ce. She sounded wary, bitter, and remorseful all at the same time as she spoke, "I won't ruin your moment."

She paused before her buy'ce and bent down to pick it up.

Shai Maji Vulcan Krayt

 

[Vulcan Krayt]

Location: Kestri, The Foundry
Weather: A very nasty Snowstorm
Tag: Gwyneira Vizsla | Shai Maji

Vulcan had a mini war going on in his head. Anger and Joy swirled in his mind, trying to vie for control. His Lilac eyes looked up at Shai's red ones. He might have grown half a centimetre at least from what Matron said, but he was also told he was told he'll stay small forever, he did not mind, but he was still a fighter regardless, he survived shrapnel.

So, he needed to figure out what to do at this moment. He wanted to hit her right across her face but he wanted to be near her too. Shai was the one who gave him a family, even if they were as crazy as can be. He thrived as a Mandalorian.

His hand gripped his slipper tightly, not wanting to let it go. So when he forced himself to move, giving Gwyn a very concerned look. His little brother instincts are indeed tingling. He will try to help the best he can. She needs him but he also needs to see Shai too.

<"You're here. You are here."> His voice was quiet, soft even.

With little hesitation, Vulcan approached Shai and gave her several swipes of his slipper. Enough to sting but gentle all the same. He had been worried ill about not getting anywhere with the adults on Shai's status. Also guilty for not staying at base camp on Roon. If he stayed put nothing bad would have happened. Still, there is a lot of betrayal hurt at war with his joy.

Once he stopped taking swipes at Shai he hugged her, rational thought winning at least for now. He can forgive her, but not yet. He wasn't going to be resentful or bitter. It was not a trait he possesses. Even if his kind were predisposed to such a thing.

 

[Shai Maji]

Shai was frozen in place for a long moment as her eyes drifted from Vulcan to Gwyn. She could see the hesitation in the girl, to try and stop Vulcan from reaching her. The thought caused her mane to raise slightly as anger brewed within her. Luckily Gwyn did no such thing, allowing Vulcan to close the distance between them. "I'm here... I'm back." She muttered, unsure of whether she should pull him into a hug or not.

She got her answer when he came at her with his slipper, swatting her with a relentless onslaught. It didn't hurt at all, though it was jarring to have a slipper swiping against her face and arms. His attacks subsided, instead replaced by a tight embrace as he ran into her. She paused for a moment, before her arms wrapped around him and she held on for dear life. No words were needed between them. He was angry and he felt betrayed, she understood completely, but she had her boy back. That was all that mattered.

"I won't ruin your moment."

Her gaze lifted as she watched Gwyn pick up her helmet and turned to leave. "Gwyn!" She called out to the girl, looking back at Vulcan in her arms. "Would you... would you two like some hot chocolate?" She offered them with a sad smile. Very reluctantly, she let go of Vulcan and bent over to pick up the empty kettle Gwyn knocked off her night stand. Once she had some water in, she pulled her tin of hot chocolate out of her desk, as well as three mugs, to start preparing their drinks.

Gwyneira Vizsla Vulcan Krayt

 

[Gwyneira Vizsla]

What a cute reunion.

Well, at least one of Shai's kids unconditionally loved her. It only made Gwyn's bitterness grow. How could Vulcan, and especially Kranak, just forgive her like that! Like she had not committed a grand betrayal! Gwyn's heart was mangled with briars and clogged with iron shards. She crossed her arms, buy'ce still in her hand, and looked away as Shai entered the building to work on the hot chocolate.

Sensing Vulcan's Force Signature so close to her, Gwyn felt that elder sister responsibility return. She could not risk Vulcan seeing how much Gwyn was actually hurt now could she? She always wanted to shield Vulcan from her ugly side. But she needed someone to vent to. Someone who would understand. She looked to Vulcan with a face twisted with confusion and bitterness. She was unable to even hide the poison rapidly spilling from her heart to her features. She shut her eyes, looking away. Tears threatened to force their way out as she spoke in a heartbroken, angry, pained voice, "I can't..."

She hugged herself, turning her head away. She was one breath away from just putting her buy'ce on and leaving. She and Shai had made it clear that they hated each other. Now, it was time for Vulcan to find folly in thinking that people could change. She would... let him be amused by the thought. She honestly was bewildered and even upset at Vulcan for hugging that traitor so easily.

Gwyn was sure she should just take her poisonous, toxic heart and leave these two be.

Shai Maji Vulcan Krayt